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>last week
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You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology

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>last week
>family meetup
>decided to go, haven't seen them in a while
>not even 10 minutes in people start talking about computers
>hey anon, you're pretty crafty with computers right?
>I guess I know my way around
>my laptop bla bla bla issues. can you help me
>Sorry, I really don't feel like doing that
>I get handed over a bag
>15" HP laptop 1376x768 resolution
>only has 1gb of ram
>the keys contain a layer of grease that would be sufficient to supply McDonalds for a week
>touchpad is broken, buttons are missing
>boot it up
>nothing happens
>anon, the battery is broken or something, you need to connect it to power
>hook it up to power, try again
>it takes a solid 20 minutes before it even shows the windows logo
>it's vista
>finally get the desktop
>look at the system tray
>25 programs are running, AVG autoscan in progress, Norton is also installed
>nothing reacts. Everything's frozen solid.
>I tell them AVG needs to go and that I might as well reinstall the operating system.
>I even opt them to install some more ram and an SSD
>anon, you really need to learn how to be patient. The laptop is fine an Norton is here to stay because I paid for it.

The next time somebody asks me about computers I'll pretend to be a total retard. Never again
>>
That's what you get, but lesson learned. Don't help retards with their shit.


(translator's note: retards = everyone)
>>
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>>44373264
>announcing your reports

>>44373223
Tell them you only have expertise on GNU/Linux and that you can only help them if they install GNU/Linux
>>
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>>44373300
>announcing your reports
not announcing reports instead of actually reporting like a fag
>>
>>44373329
All things considered that guy has a pretty clean skin. If he would have and exercise he could look dapper as fuck.
>>
>>44373223
I know that feel man, I was working for 3 months away from home and the first day I came back, 5 different people attacked me fix their computers, the computers are of course in similar condition that lap top was.
>>
>>44373300
>the plants spell lol

omg i love this meme
>>
>>44373223
>>hey anon, you're pretty crafty with computers right?
>>I guess I know my way around
kek, fucked up there.
>>
>>44373223
>"Hey Anon you're very knowledgeable about X subjet, can you help me with something"?
>Completely disregard input,opinion and solution after asking for it and defend the issue to stay.
Every god damn time.
>>
sinply, DON'T HELP.
>hey anon can you fix my wangblows pc with 39 layers of dust and 32gb of spyware?
>no, i don't work with windows anymore i forgot how to use it
>but you are an expert
repeat "no, i don't work with windows anymore i forgot how to use it"
should be as simple as that, that is a way to let them know that they asked for it and don't deserve help for it
>>
>>44373223
nobody ever asks me about advise at family gatherings, even though they all know well that I'm into technology and computers
>>
>>44373686
Actually, you say what I say.

I charged my Sister $50 to install a copy of Word.
I charged my Dad $300 to show him how to use Windows.
He was so impressed that he paid the same (+$150 for extra time needed) for me to show my Mom.

Tell them that computers are not just your hobby. They are your profession. Professionals are paid for their time.

If you tell them that you are going to give them a discount because they are family then they somehow are happy with that, and they actually feel like they are getting a service, as opposed to a favor from a family member.

Also, if you end up charging them more then they would pay to get their product serviced by an establishment, then they will be inclined to take it there, but because you told them you would give them a discount, they won't get unhappy with you.
>>
>guy gives me his computer and says it won't run audio
>see the pc, install realtek 97' drivers, audio works

>oh anon, while you're here, why my youtube doesn't want to play smoothly
>guy's pc is athlon 1.4ghz, 512mb ram, ge force 2 (!) with avast installed on startup
>i say the pc is garbage and that's why, because the whole pc was surprisingly clean as fuck
>YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, i used to watch youtube just fine few years ago with this pc
>i offered to uninstall avast to see whether the situation will be remotely better and he refuses and starts to mumble how i don't have any idea what i'm doing
>>
>>44373223
i just tell them that norton and all that other shit are actually viruses disguised as antivirus shit
>>
>>44373867
lel that's actually not a bad idea
>>
>>44373835
That's why you tell them that you are a professional and that you charge for your time, like I do. (read >>44373758)

People are more willing to accept information and help that they paid for.
>>
>>44373899
oh i charged him, although in my shitty 3rd world it's really small amount, 10$
>>
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>>44373758
>$750 for explaining Windows to your parents.
>>
>>44373223
I swear a clear half of the problems I respond to are Norton related.
I don't know how it's not considered malware at this point, because it behaves like it. You can't even get rid of it without a special tool you have to download from their website, even Revo can't stop it.
>>
>>44373956
dl killbox mate
>>
>>44373223
y'know OP you can reinstall the OS AND keep norton

thats how licenses work.
>>
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>>44373758
>>
>>44373950
They were happy with the service and came back for more.

It's not that I want to charge them, but my time is valuable to me. If I weren't explaining the features of windows to somebody, I could be actually doing something I enjoy, like watching youtube videos or reading 4chan threads.

It's basic self management.
>>
>>44373950
>>44373978
Why would you be willing to do something you don't like for free?

Retards identified.
>>
What is it with people and computers that makes they think that you're gonna fix their computer for free, as if your time isn't worth anything?

Is it a matter of respect?
Is this how they inadvertently admit that they don't have any respect for you or your time?
>>
I just tell people I have no idea how to use Windows, which is somewhat true since I haven't used it since Vista.
>>
>>44373758
Get a load of this cocksucker, holy shit.
>>
>>44373998
jewmasterflex over here

i'd charge friends and friends of friends
but i don't mind using a bit of my time to help my parents, they're cool people and stuff
>>
>>44374011
you explained windows to your parents for 750 dollars
to your fucking parents ffs
>>
>>44374011
They're not just retarded. They're also freetard neckbeards, which is why they think everything related to computer software should be free.
>>
>>44374049
Free as in free beer =/= Free as in freedom
>>
>>44373835

Should have told him flash got more bloated and complicated as time went on, requiring more computing power.
>>
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>>44374049
>misrepresenting the idea of free software
>>
>>44374087
that would mean that i have no idea what i'm doing and just finding an excuse
>>
>>44374026
>>44374038
>>44374041
Why would you be willing to do something you don't like for free?

I said that I don't just consider it a hobby, it is my profession, and they need to pay for my time. I told them how much, and they happily paid for my time.

In fact, I think that if they hadn't paid for it, they would have been less accepting of what I had said and the process would have been more difficult.

Maybe you enjoy doing things for people for free because you don't value your own time?
>>
>>44373223
Start charging if you have nothing better to do. They pay for Norton, let them use Norton. Keep trying to recommend the SSD, they're never ever ever gonna agree to it, I've been trying with a couple of my family members for a while now. People don't like it when you reinstall their operating system, so give it your best shot without reinstalling first. Even when you're doing it for them, they never, ever, ever are satisfied. "Where is X porgram? I've always had X program!" even if X program is the malware. Then they'll have ridiculous obscure programs that they just love but don't even know the name of. They aren't malware, but there are usually better alternatives that they refuse to learn to use. They just want familiar, and you can't do that because when you asked them if they had anything important on this computer they needed to save they said, "Just my pictures and my tax documents,
and you don't have enough spare HDD space to back up all of everyones crap. Hardware problems are a lot easier to deal with imo, compared to fixing clusterfuck Windows installations.
>>
>>44373758
Your parents have more money than common sense, even though you did a tiny amount of work for them it's teaching you that your bullshit is worth paying for. $300 you could take a computer class at a community college for fucks sake.
>>
>>44373758
Hello there, Chaim
>>
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There's a very simple solution to all of this.
>I'll fix this for 20 bucks as long you don't bitch about how I do it. No deal? Then fuck off.
>>
>Doing complicated tasks for free because they are family members or friends
Retards identified.

Do you think a surgeon would perform a bypass on his mother for free?

Do you think a prostitute would fuck her dad for free?

Do you think an engineer would design a bridge for his uncle for free?

No.

It's just not right. Maybe if it were a hobby, but it isn't a hobby for many of us. For many of us, computers are our lives. They define the fabric of our existence, and to get access to that existence, you have to pay. Regardless of who you are.

I'm a fucking programmer, not a fucking software installer. If you want me to install some fucking software for you, or to explain how it works, you have to pay for my professional time. Time I could be programming. Time I could be doing whatever the fuck I want, instead of a boring thing that involves working through the challenges of your personality.
>>
I just pull the "If you don't respect my advice then don't ask me for it" card.
>>
>>44374237
>Do you think a surgeon would perform a bypass on his mother for free?

lol of course he would idiot

>Do you think an engineer would design a bridge for his uncle for free?

of course he would idiot if it's some small bridge over creek
>>
>>44374244
Do you think a prostitute would fuck her dad for free?
>>
>>44374114
i hope you are trolling anon
>>
>>44374114
>>44374237
>thinking your this important

I understand friends, but your god damn parents. No wonder people hate the IT sector, most of you think your so amazing for being able to tell a computer what to do, and this is coming from a guy in IT. I'm glad I don't hang out with the guys I work with, they're all just like you idiots.
>>
>>44374273
she would her boyfriend

but nice troll argument :D
>>
>>44374237
Yeah, gotta say I agree with >>44374244
Surgeon might not be able to do it completely for free since there are costs involved outside of his time, but he sure isn't going to charge his mother for the time needed to save her life. The engineer might design a bridge for free if it is simple enough, it's family after all. Uncle is kinda iffy though, I wouldn't do anything for free for my extended family, maybe this engineer is closer to his Uncle than I am, though. The prostitute situation is just inane.

Personally, if my Mom has a virus or she breaks her laptop screen, I'm not going to charge her to fix it. I'll point her to where she can order the screen and I'll replace it for her. Because she is my Mom.
>>
>>44374114
>being this jewish.
Just because your time is so "precious" to you doesn't mean you can't do favors for people you care about.
>>
It is apparent to me that some of the people in this thread don't live in the real world.

It is also apparent that some of the people in this thread will never understand the real world.

You really think that you should do something you don't enjoy? For free? Why? Why in the world would you do that?

That's like going into work and saying that you don't want to be paid anymore, you just want to do the work.
>>
>>44374338
10/10 keep going please
>>
There is something between "idiot who repairs everyone and their mothers' computer for free" and "David Shlomo Goldstein who jew his family out of shekels"
>>
>>44374280
thank ms skelton
>>
>>44374282
I think I am just as important as you.

I am a programmer.

Do you really think that I want to be installing programs for people? When I could be writing programs?

What is your logic? That your parents are better then everyone else? That they are more important than everyone else?

Guess what. Your parents are just as important as me. And if you wouldn't do it for free for me, why would you do it for free for your parents?
>>
For all the people in here, who insist on charging parents every single stuff on PC, i have 1 question: Did you pay for all the meals your mom ever cooked for you in your life?
>>
>>44374371
Look at this arrogant sack of shit. My semen stains are worth more than you faggot.
>>
>>44374385
No. The government did.
>>
>>44374371
>Your parents are just as important as me

Thats subjective isn't it? Seeing as how they raised me and kept me housed and fed for about 18 years, I think they're more important to me then some stranger on the internet. I'd do it for free for them because I don't mind, they did a lot for me, so doing them a favor is no big deal.

I wouldn't do it for free for you because well, I don't know you. I'll never meet you. Maybe if we were long time friends, yeah sure.
>>
>>44374414
I'm certain that a genetic analysis would indicate the opposite.
>>
>>44374417
Okay, so your mom was on food stamps for your whole life. So are you now going to tell me she never did anything for you? Pay the rent for the house you live in? The electric bill? Drive you to school? But you clothes?
>>
Just tell them to buy some samshit tablet or something. They want YouTubes, they get it. And it might actually be difficult to plague our with malware, or slow it down.
That's stupid expensive, but also stupid easy. People love touching the screens
>>
>>44374433
Pretty sure that's not how you find out the value of a person, the entire civilized world is going to judge someone based on their deeds not their genetics.
>>
>>44374433
The only thing a genetic analysis would reveal is your downs syndrome.
>>
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>mfw this thread

either you are a troll or a sociopath

anyways 10/10, haven't laughed like this in a while
>>
>>44374447
The government covered all of that bro. And no, there was no car so I couldn't be driven to school.
>>
>tfw my dad is a programmer
didn't experience most stuff itt
>>
>>44373758
You're an asshole. Mom and dad were willing to pay that just to spend time with their child, I'd bet.
>>
>>44374494
They didn't when I was younger. Dad wasn't even around mate.
>>
>>44373443
so edgy
>>
>>44374469
Well here is what I am going to say to you buddy. I do not believe that your mom never did anything for you. That's just ridiculous, you're probably deluding yourself into believing it so you can justify cutting off contact with her. If on the off chance it is all true though, I guess you have the right to charge her a reasonable fee to fix her computer.

By the way, where are you getting all this fantastic welfare? That's so much more support than any destitute mom I've ever met recieves.
>>
>>44374469
>>44374417
>>44374371
>>44374338
This is true autism
>>
>>44374352
Right. You have to be complete living scum to jew off your parents like that. Don't you feel like, bad. Disrespectful fucks all around here.
>>
>>44374237
>Do you think a surgeon would perform a bypass on his mother for free?
He wouldn't do it for any money because that's illegal.
>>
>>44374525
Okay, well maybe my situation is different to most people here.

Maybe if you were raised in the same environment you would have the same perspective as me.
>>
>>44374596
Ahh, so he wouldn't even do the work for her.
>>
>have a BS in computer science
>at family members highschool grad party
>uncle tells me about his computer problems
>i ask him why hes telling me
>you studied this in college right?
>no, i studied computer science not IT
>oh
>walks away
>>
> doing something for your parents
> "B-because their your parents"

Fucking betas
>>
>>44374601
You don't know how I was raised and you don't know what I've seen. I still think you're an ungrateful little shit.
>>
>>44374525
>>44374601
In a way I think you are right though. Because my brother is the closest person to me, and I would show him how to use a program for free. I guess I just don't really even know my parents, or that they didn't treat me like they should've or something.
>>
serious shit right here. if anyone ever asks you to fix their shit, just fucking partition their drive and move all their shit to that partition and then reinstall windows.

it'll fix 99% of problems with no headaches. if they dont to lose their programs, tell them fuck off.

my parents currently use elementary OS on their computers, because they used to use windows XP and i didnt like the idea of them entering their bank info on an unsecure computer like that. i just trust linux a bit more, even if it is ubuntu
>>
>>44374657
>you don't know what I've seen
Have you seen a prostitute fuck her dad for free?
If not then your argument is invalid.
>>
>>44374681
Also make the windows partition tiny, like 10GB or less.
>>
>>44374701
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It's not prostitution if it's free, it's just incest. I guess it could happen if her dad was her dopeman, but in that case it would be for drugs so it wouldn't really be free. You're talking about some crazy unlikely and nonsensical scenarios here.
>>
>>44373329
>being a Nelson
Only redditors report posts/care about quality of threads, redditor.
>>
This is why you ALWAYS hide your power level. No one needs to know how knowledgeable you are about anything, or how much money you have, or what skills you have.
>>
>>44374657
Have you been sexually or physically abused by your parents?
>>
>>44374510
how was that edgy?
>>
>>44374738
so edgy
>>
>>44374701
You know actually now that I think about it, I did know a girl that was fucking her uncle for his roxis. So pretty close.

>>44374798
Of course I was, my dad used to beat the crap out of me. Even when I got older, I was 15 years old if me and my dad started fighting hed say "sit down or we can settle this in the back yard right now." And he wasn't bluffing.
>>
>>44374889
I thought you said dad wasn't even around
>>
>>44374889
And yet you'd still install Avast anti-virus for him for free? Why?
>>
>>44374914
I'm a different guy. I'm actually on the side of, "you should fix your moms damn computer without charging her."
>>
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>>44373758
>anon's been really down in the dumps after he got that F in his Community College Computer Science class
>I wish we could make him feel better
>lets give him some money to fix our computer
>but mines not broken and I doubt he could fix anyway
>just tell him we need to install some Office program and need him to show us how to do some stuff on Windows
>great idea, hun, he can wear that anonymous mask he loves so much while it does it too
>>
>>44374914
That wasn't me, lol. Pay attention to the thread.
>>
>>44374918
We made up, it was years ago. Everything changed when I was 19 and I finally knocked him out. I actually fixed his laptop keyboard for him last week. Plus my mom never did anything wrong, she was always scared to leave (mostly for financial reasons, he didnt beat her). Although she finally did leave him about a year ago after he lost his job.
>>
>>44374927
lol. I wish I had parents like that bro. My real parents were never interested in my grades. Literally everything I have is thanks to my brother.
>>
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> sister's laptop had adware, viruses, bloatware, and too many files installed
> she said she doesn't care about her files she just needs to use the computer
> reinstall OS
> get paid

pic related, mfw
>>
>>44373223
as a rule i don't know a fucking thing about anything, if someone does ask me to look at their shit i'll just slap the keyboard and say i can't figure it out
>>
>Hey would you help me out with my computer
>"Yeah sure, I charge £25 an hour"

Unless you're close family or I owe you one, you can eat shit.

If you're too stupid to learn how to fix basic computer problems yourself then you have to pay someone who isn't as stupid as you, it's as simple as that.
>>
>>44375001
as a rule i don't install any software for free for anyone who's ever tried to knock me out. I actually charge a "knockout" surcharge for that.
>>
>>44374940
And to elaborate... I feel bad for him, he's got no one left. He alienated his wife, his daughter, his mom died when he was 8, his dad died before I was born (and they never had a good relationship anyway). He doesn't talk to his brother because of some stupid fight that I really don't know anything about. He almost lost the house when he was out of work for a year. And I see so much of him in myself, we share the same genes. I don't want to cut off contact with him because I don't want to be him, I'm not going to hold a grudge. What's past is past.
>>
>>44375063

>living in UK
>>
>>44375093
Some people don't have the luxury of parents with money or a decent profession to move, some of us are unfortunately stuck where we happened to pop out.
>>
>>44373920
Where do you live, Hungary?
>>
I love this thread.
Holy fuck.
>>
>>44375088
Have you ever showed someone how to do something, gone step by step through it, only to have them forget and ask you to show them again after 5 minutes

Have you ever had this happen repeatedly to you for days on end?

Do you know, or can you at least imagine how annoying that would be?

And people like you expect me to do it for free? Fuck you.
>>
>>44375169
>Have you ever showed someone how to do something, gone step by step through it, only to have them forget and ask you to show them again after 5 minutes
Yeah I occasionally babysit my grandfather who has Alzheimers. God damn I am made for this thread lol. My grandma is no better, I have to uninstall the Ask toolbar for her at least once a month.
>>
>>44375188
Before anyone says, "But I thought your Dad's parents were dead," I'm talking about my Mom's side.
>>
>>44375188
>>44375217
You must be masochistic or something. No way could a normal person take such extreme pain without any reward.
>>
itt: /g/ discusses the effects of autism on the jewish community
>>
>>44375264
What are you talking about? Extreme pain? I know people that have suffered so much worse. I admit my relationship with my Dad isn't typical, but's not exactly rare either. It's not my grandfather's fault that he has alzheimers, and it does frustrate the hell out of me that my grandma won't learn how to do basic tasks on her computer but this is my family, you only get one.
>>
i helped my uncle install windows xp and windows 7 + all the laptops drivers on his desktop and laptop computer

he gave me like $45

already knew how to use torrents and thepiratebay, so i got lucky when i saw he had downloaded windows 7 off it, just had to show him how to burn the ISO's to a cd / dvd
>>
>>44375300
Not to mention I've gotta cut her a little slack since the person she fell in love with has essentially turned into her full time job. He's only in the middle stages but it is still amazingly frustrating, he will literally sit there and ask me the same three questions in an endless cycle. "What day is it? When is my wife coming back? When are we going to have dinner." Then when dinner comes, "Im not hungry, you gave me too much."
>>
Next time ask them to have sex with you. Especially if it's your sister/mother/father.
>>
On a note related to this thread I've just been asked to get rid of a virus on someone's laptop. I haven't done this in a while. Should Microsoft's Malicious Software Removal Tool be sufficient to get the job done?

And what should I leave him with? MSE? /g/ used to rave about MSE but I think more recently has shied away due to poor detection rates.
>>
>>44375322
What happens if you put two Alzheimer patients side by side.

What's it like?

Damn I want to do this for science.
>>
>>44375337
360 Internet Security, it has great detection rates and an unobtrusive UI. It actually flags a lot of stuff that isn't actually malware, so it's a little overzealous, but I think that is great for an uninformed user.
>>
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>mom always asks why the Internet is not connecting
>reset the router
>it werks
I don't know what to feel.
>>
>>44375350
I don't know, but I might find out soon. Grandma has been looking at a daycare center for gramps. He gets along good with his sister though (she is schizophrenic), they just kind of babble to each other when you put them in the same room.

(Grandma doesn't have alzheimers, she is just tech illiterate and has no will to learn)
>>
>>44373223
Become a plumber -> "Hey Anon you know about water" Never happens
Become a electrician -> "Hey Anon you know about switches and plugs" Never happens

Become a Tech Guy -> Hey Anon you... DO IT FOR FREE!

______________

Old Joke

Lawyer and Doctor shooting the shit at party.
Guest walks over talks to doctor about health problems.
15 min later guest walks away.
Doc to Lawyer "Hey would it be within my right to send a bill for this kind of thing."
Lawyer thinks about it."Sure."
Next day, Doctor sends a bill to guy asking for advice.
3 days pass, Doctor gets a bill from the lawyer.

________________

If mom and dad helped with college degree, no questions asked.

Otherwise send them to GeekSquad or have a print out of geeksquad shit - 10% and say it's your prices.
>>
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>>44373758
I actually agree with you.
>>
>>44375402
funny it happens to me for anything i have even the least bit of experience with. most recently had to solder the battery holder for the car remote which was my find time doing any sort of soldering and someone seen me doing it and said they have the same problem and asked me to do theirs. i said sure since i already had everything out then 2 days later bitch brings like 8 more keys from random people all wanting their shit done too. all free of course
>>
>>44374469
>mom on food stamps
>charge her 750$ for word
is missing your foreshin so bad you had to do this?
>>
>not calling people out when they ask for your expertise then don't take advice
I don't have that shit bro. If I tell someone something is a bad idea and they do it anyways, "oh you're the expert. fix your own computer". It seems rude but it it communicates that they need to back the fuck back and let you do your thing because what they've done hasn't worked for them.
>>
>>44373300
>tfw haven't used Windows in so long my ability to offer tech support for it is slowly degrading to nothingness
Feels fucking fantiastic
>>
>used to fix my mothers and sisters laptops when in lived at home
>all dem notification icons
>all dem extra toolbars in their browsers
>move out
>every time I visit mum:
>'oh and by the way the laptop is being a bit funny again, I bet you know what that means by now'
>know the IT guy she goes to when im not there rips her off
>can't help myself not to do it
>suffering
>>
>>44375601
You've got to take a stand man. If you don't impose a financial or social penalty for their retarded actions, then there is no incentive there for them to learn how to do it properly.
>>
>>44373256
this
>>
>>44375601
>visit family
>anon muh 'puter is acting up again can you look at it?
>ok. so what's for dinner?

>visit friend
>cumputer no wrk u fix yes?
>hand me a beer

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>
I understand that some people value their time, but I couldn't imagine charging my parents for computer work, after everything they've done for me. If I fixed my parents PCs every day for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be enough to make up for what they've done for me, and I'd do it with a smile on my face. That's just me, though.
>>
>>44375686
What did your parents do for you?
>>
>>44375650
My sister has since married a guy who knows his way around windows and Linux so she's in safe hands.

My mother on the other hand is close to 60 and just computer inept. I'm not a very good teacher and don't know how to teach someone the absolute basics. She knows how to use YouTube and get to her emails, everything else is collateral damage.

When she used to accidentally delete the browser shortcut all I heard was 'anon I deleted the internet again!'.
>>
>>44375706
Touched his peepee
>>
>>44375706
Just because your mom stopped making you dinner 10 years ago doesn't mean you can hate her, anon. It's her house you're living in still.
>>
>>44373223
>being too beta to stand up for yourself
kek
>>
>tfw my whole family is in IT and I am the dumb guy
I wish I had your problems.
>>
>>44375685
I mean she puts me up and cooks for me etc but that's not the point really. What annoys me is that I tell her every time what to avoid and what's usually safe yet she does the same shit over and over.

Doesn't help that most of her friends are equally technologically inept and keep sending each other stupid emails with attachments that usually tell them to install some malware.
>>
>>44375721
What did your parent's do for you that makes you feel so strongly, I genuinely want to know.

Surely it is more then cooking dinner for you.
>>
>>44375706
Imagine if you had to be the care taker of a raging autistic manchild who can't take care of themselves for a minimum of 18 years. That's what your parents did for you.
>>
Tell them you'll need to order in a specialized software package that requires a recurring subscription to fix their problem, and that you will require $100 and additional $10 per month to cover this expense. Only then will you be able to fix their computer.
>>
>>44375745
>dinner table scene
>'anon you have installed gentoo now right?'
>anon runs to room crying, turning on his dusty windows 98me PC and proceeds to fap to furry porn until he jizzes all over his crusty old keyboard
>family at sinner table crying

Good job faggot
>>
>>44375751
Impose a financial penalty.

Say "if I have to do this again for you then I have to charge you $5. It is beyond annoying having to do the same thing over and over agin."

If it happens again, then charge $10 and keep it going up in $5's. Trust me, as soon as they are going to lose something, they will learn not to make the mistake. As long as there is nothing for them to lose and "oh Anon will just fix it if things go wrong again", then they will keep on fucking around.
>>
>>44375755
Contribute to my tuition
>>
>>44375712
>'anon I deleted the internet again!'.
kek

Seriously consider specing out & building a hackintosh or two for your family.
>>
>>44375745
every time someone uses your computer or even glances at the screen they are judging you, how does that make you feel?
>>
>>44375751
>sending each other stupid emails with attachments that usually tell them to install some malware

damn. does that shit still happen in 2014? I thought it stopped back in 2004-6.
>>
>>44375793
different guy fyi
>>
>>44373223
>Norton is here to stay because I paid for it
>Telling you to be patient

Rape them
>>
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>MFW come from long line of engineers, scientists, and health care workers/doctors
>as in, literally, as far back as I know, everyone falls into one of those three
>MFW I'm in med school, continuing masterrace family legacy
>MFW dad hand-built a computer from dump-scavenged pats when we were poor as fuck living in Ukraine
>MFW mom taught herself CSS (yeah, I know) to make site for family business
>MFW long discussions with dad about audiophile equipment
>MFW 21st birthday present from parents was AKG K712s
>MFW encouraged to self-teach PERL at 12
>MFW three of the five computers at my parent's house run Linux
>MFW this thread
Damn it feels good to be a purebred high-caste slav
>>
it makes me kinda sad to think my parents/grandpa are wasting their precious last years sitting around for a computer they bought 5 years ago for $500 to load something when they could easily just buy something new and have everything work well with no stress adfafas
>>
A coworker told me about an elderly woman who put the mouse on the floor so she could use her feet to click it, like her sewing machine
>>
>>44375785
>B-bye the futa, shota and holy spering. Ahem.
>>
>>44375818
Do you even squat nigga?
>>
>girl comes up to me in class
>I'm the resident "tech guy" in a radio production class, can't hide power level
>she's a hot, spicy latina with dem hips
>"Anon, you're good with computers, right?"
>I gawk for a bit because a girl is talking to me
>finally regain my composure
>"not for free."
>she walks off and huffs
>occasionally talks to me now whereas before she never said a word to me
>it's not about fixing her computer

And that's how I learned how to deal with these shitters. The only people I do tech support for are blood relatives...and any time I do, I have them sit next to me and WATCH what I do. My brother can build his own PCs now, my parents have stopped just "express instal"-ing everything...and it works out great.
>>
>>44373223
did no one else think that OP actually just thought the laptop was…a ball? I mean, he named it HP AllBall. He was just sad that he lost his favorite toy. Nothing more. I think it's kind of sweet people want to believe it's something more than that, but come on guys.
>>
>>44374738
Fucking die you fucking newfag try hard reddit boogymaner. Stop trying to justify your shitposting you freak
>>
>>44375808
>mother been using windows since 98
>can't comprehend shortcuts
>Try to convince her to use osx

Fuck no. She gets frustrated every time an icon changes, never mind OS. No chance.

>>44375813
Apparently itndoes I'd you're in your 50s+
>all of her friends use picasa
>>
After reading this thread I actually feel like an asshole.

I have always asked my uncle for help when I have had any problems related to my PC.
>>
Tell them you'll look over it, then after screwing around with it for 5 minutes, declare that their computer has been taken over by ransomware that is holding all of their financial details hostage, and that you will require $100 sent to your PayPal account to pay the evil Russian hackers that operate out of a secret bunker in the Kremlin off and ultimately restore their computer.
>>
>>44375818
>tfw first person in whole family to get an under-grade

M-Muh privilege
>>
>>44375857
haha my parents have been using the internet since the mid 90s.

they don't understand the 'back' button in browsers and always just close the whole window and start over
>>
>>44375857
>Apparently itndoes I'd you're in your 50s+

>dem typos
S-sorry /g/ I'm using a t-touchscreen
>>
>>44375837
>implying slavsquat isn't a krepostnoi-caste slav tradition based in mimicking prison behavior
>>44375865
That feel when Muricans loathe slavic immigrants, to the point of massive prejudice, and then get called for privilege
>>
>>44375859
buy him a case of beer after the next time he helps say for all the other times
>>
>>44374927
Don't mock community college you negro. Fucking smug about paying millions for your "real university" degree. Fucking kill yourself
>>
>>44375853
>he named it HP AllBall
Where did you even read that?
>>
>>44375883
>they don't understand the 'back' button
How long do you expect before they evolve into tabbed web browsing?
>>
>>44375755
Stop being an edgy family hater you freak
>>
>>44375883
Turbokek

My mother knows the back & forward buttons but not much more.

My grandmother keeps bugging me too. She lives in a different country and is 86 this year and has never used a PC or smartphone.
>anon I keep hearing about all those things you can do with that internet
>I heard we could video call each other with that am i right?
>I want to book flights on that internet too

I just can't do it. She's an awesome grandma but technology is not her friend.
>>
>>44375863
I like this idea, but don't use your own paypal at any point. Make them buy bitcoins so they'll think they are paying the hackers directly.
>>
>>44375906
Are you confused or something son?
>>
>>44375093
Epik shitposting scum
>>
>>44375919
>no anon I dont like change
>stop trying to change my habits, this is what I'm used to
>>
>>44375929
I don't hate families; I just don't understand the perspective.
>>
>>44375948
>>44375883

Rape and kill them
>>
>>44375892
Do they really? I'm 75% slavic and never heard anything about this. My dad's dad came straight from Czechoslovakia, his mom from Poland. Mom's dad from Poland, mom's mom is a mix.
>>
>>44375785
But I fap to my shemale furry scat porn on a Linux disto
>>
>>44374114
>Here's the start menu
>here's the file manager
>that'll be $750, please.
>>
>>44375946
Very confused, OP didn't mention anything about the laptop's name.
>>
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>>44375818
>masterrace family legacy
>engineers and health care workers
>>
>>44375948
Impose a financial penalty. Say that if they won't try to do what you are showing them, then you won't visit again for 2 months.
>>
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>>44375965
>>
>>44375893
I guess I'll do this, thanks anon.
>>
>>44375976
Of course you are gramps. I think it's almost bed time isn't it. Time for your nap, eh?
>>
>>44375930
set my grandpa up with a computer. with some easy short cuts to youtube/email/fb

(last time I was over I noticed he posted on a 40y/o lady's fb profile pic (who was wearing too much makeup) "nice Halloween costume!")

put her on fb it is so funny what old ppl do on there
>>
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>>44373223
>anon, you really need to learn how to be patient
I've heard this too, then I try to explain to them that their computer isn't bad and it should be working much faster than this, and they don't listen.
And on another occasion some other relative/friend with a 10 year old computer will be asking me why it's not working as fast as it used to when he bought it, and want's me to magically fix it somehow without spending money.

I constantly see people putting up with problems that shouldn't exist in the first place, but they are too set in their ways.
One friend of mine refused to run his LCD monitor in native resolution because it made the text too small, I changed the DPI but he didn't like it because not all programs work well with high DPI and so changed it back. He said he'd rather have the blurry text.
>>
>>44375979
I only see her once a year, can't bring myself to see her less.
>>
>>44376004
>put her on fb it is so funny what old ppl do on there
Do we really want more retards shitting up the internet?

Scratch that. Of course we do.
>>
>>44375998
Okay then, I'll take my nap as soon as someone explains to me what the fuck you're talking about.
>>
>>44376010
Well once a year I guess she can get away with anything computer related then.
>>
>>44376004
>put her on fb it is so funny what old ppl do on there
Fuck no. She's mentioned it a few times but that she wasn't sure how to go about making an FB profile.

[SIGHS INTERNALLY]
>>
>>44375964
>Czech
>Polish
>Slavs
No. What i mean is, for example, when we talk Russian in public, we often become passively disliked. Basically like blacks in the modern deep south; you won't get denied service, but we've gotten plenty of "we don't welcome your kind" stares in restaurants.

If you speak English, Muricans suck at identifying accents, so you'll be fine. It's a matter of pride, I guess.
>>
>>44376019
don;t you want to read all caps messages about prayer on your fb wall?
>>
>>44376039
So.. I'm not slavic? Everything I've ever known is a lie? What am I then?
>>
>Uncle calls me
>AT&T internet setup wants to test his connection but his computer isn't set up
>It's missing the power cable / power brick from when he moved
>What should he do?
>Uhh look for it in other boxes?
Not sure what he expected me to magically do.
>>
>>44376032
I'm tempted to install team viewer on it so I can do it all remotely. She'll probably think it's some kind of witchcraft seeing shit happen without her touching anything kek
>>
>>44376021
Watch video before looking at the comments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQCOHUXmEZg

I am referring to the angry frog comment.
>>
>>44373223
>The next time somebody asks me about computers I'll pretend to be a total retard. Never again
Lel you dont know the rule mang.Always play dumb about computers.Always.
>>
>>44376052
>why can't you do it anon?
>maybe you're not as good at that stuff as you think
>I better call an IT professional anon dont worry
>>
>>44376051
Eastern European. Not that that's a bad thing...
>>
>>44376046
It isn't hard to unsub from someone without unfriending them.
>>
they should seriously invent an old ppl computer or desktop or OS or browser or somethinkg (like those old ppl cell phones)

with like a physical buttons that say On/Off, Youtube, Email.
>>
>>44376059
Mind = blown.
>>
>>44376083
comeon you can have your own personal Bill Hitchert
>>
>>44373341
I heard he's an actor and the fedora pic was from his portfolio
>>
>>44376100
>anon what's the On button there's only an O-N/O-F-F button ???
>>
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Am I the only one who enjoys helping friends/family with their computers for free? I like knowing that the people I care about are able to enjoy their computers better. Plus, computers are a mystery to them, so they regard me as a genius for doing something as simple as reinstalling Windows.
>>
>>44376100
>on/off, YouTube, Email, CALL GRANDSON I HAVE A VIRUS
>>
>>44376126
With time you will end up hating them.
>>
>>44376075
>I better call an IT professional anon dont worry
The get outta jail free card

>Same Uncle getting AT&T
>Oh there's a self-install kit and save $50 or some shit
>Anon you're good with computers could you do that?
>Thinking 'Fuck that. I've never done it before. I could try but who knows if he's missing something.'
>There's lots of things involved and it's generally better to have a professional install incase issues pop up. I've never done it.
>Yeah you're right.
>>
>>44376126
>Am I the only one who enjoys helping friends/family with their computers for free
THat depends on whether or not they have to keep on asking you to show them again.
It depends on whether or not they get even the most simple of computing concepts.
It depends on whether or not you are going to be greeted with the most cluttered array of desktop items when you look at it.
>>
>>44376100
But Android is basically this. Yet I see people that still can't figure it out.
>>
>>44373223
You are such an obnoxious and immature person, this post hurt to read.
Seriously, is using Revo Uninstaller and CCleaner to clean up some bloat as well as suggesting them to get some more RAM that difficult for you? Do you really need to make such a big deal out of it?
>>
>>44376126
>no anon you don't fix them, you break them
>where's my bonzy Buddy gone? I liked him!
>picasa anon? Why donyoiu always delete everything? My hard drive is big
>my browser used to tell me about all those great chances to win money and high value items anon but not anymore, don't you want your mother to win some free stuff and money anon?

No.
>>
>>44376152
noooo everything about computers ppl take for granted. Some ppl don't know how to capitalize letters, close a window etc
>>
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>>44373223
>>anon, you really need to learn how to be patient. The laptop is fine an Norton is here to stay because I paid for it.

People like this deserve to be shot.
>>
>>44376145
It upsets me knowing my family would get massively ripped off though

>dont wsntnto feel dem feels
>>
>>44376171
Just impose a social penalty. Say "I'm not going to come over again for 2 months unless you uninstall it"

If they respect you and your skills with computers, then they would go along with it. If they don't, then good riddance.
>>
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>>44376081
But Wikipedia said I was a west slav. I was raised roman catholic and everything. Are west slavs that different?
>>
>>44376191
The levels of beta in this thread are delicious. I won't need nutrients for several days now.
>>
>>44376203
You're still niggers, only you don't have an interesting language to balance out.

Пошел на хуй бы ты.
>>
>>44376100
That's not a bad idea. Take a keyboard, make some large print stickers, and use some program to remap certain keys to open email, youtube, etc, which are of course identified with stickers. I wonder if I could sell it in a retirement community.
>>
Remember folks, 99% of our adn are also in a gorilla (and others monkeys species). It not surprised me some throwback unable to operate basic machinery. Best to remove them from your life.
>>
>>44376228
Yeah... Our languages are pretty boring... Oh well, at least in America I can just be white.
>>
>>44376154
>other people immediately try to use OP because that's all they see him as, that computer guy
>he agrees like the meek person he is
>proceed to act like they know better then him even though they asked for his help, disregard his advice anyway
Yeah, he's such an immature person, he should start acting mature like his relatives.
>>
>>44376231
Create a childs account
Set the system up so that only admins can install or run other programs

Lock everything down

Set a picture of a dog infront of a rainbow as the background

Make the internet open up automatically

Set google to the home page
>>
>>44376240
>Polish
>Czech
>white
>>
>>44376211
>caring about family = beta

Okay buttbuddy
>>
>>44376245
He's pretty beta. But then again, he's related to the relatives in his anecdote. I certainly fear for the future of his family.
>>
>>44376231
Maybe even sell a version of it as a whole set up. If only Linux could run Netflix easily, could use a lightweight distro for it so they don't get viruses.
>>
>>44376203
>I was raised Roman Catholic
>Roman Catholic
Do you even orthodox, motherfucker? Orthodox or "not affiliated/etc." are the two valid slav religions. Also, how the fuck is Moldova not slav? Your map is just awful.
>>44376228
>To chustvo kogda net russkoy klavioturi
:(
Regardless, welcome bro.
>>44376252
>>/pol/
>>
>>44376279
I'm pretty much going off of Wikipedia here, that's where I got the map. West Slavs = Roman Catholic, East Slavs = Orthodox.
>>
>>44376253
>Family member gets stupid idea
>Hey can you deal with this
>I'm afraid that you'll spend $100 extra dollars, I'll do it for you

>Not telling them that it's a stupid idea


Yeah, it's beta. Maybe if their person were at risk. But it's not. They're just fucking around and trying to involve you in their moronic shenanigans. It is very beta to be sucked into doing something for someone out of fear that they will be scammed by whoever else they could go to.
>>
>>44376299
>lowering your inheritance by letting family piss away their money

Pleb
>>
>>44376249
I kind of want to sell this, I live so close to The Villages I feel it could be a valid business.
>>
>not just saying "fine, then im not fixing your shitty laptop because you're a stubborn idiot who wont listen to me"
>>
>>44376318
Every relative I've had that was dying didn't leave it to everyone.

They pissed it down the drain by going out to restaurants every day and night.

By buying stupid shit.

You aren't helping yourself. You're basically doing something for someone, who convinced you to do that thing out of fear. You have successfully demonstrated all of the qualities of a full blown beta.
>>
>>44376279
>To chustvo kogda net russkoy klavioturi
http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&field-keywords=russian%20stickers

I set scroll lock to switch between the two layouts.
>>
You've learned 2 lessons today OP.
Never help anyone.
Never do anything for free.
>>
>>44376353
>Every relative I've had that was dying didn't leave it to everyone.
I wouldn't leave anything to you either you cunt

>They pissed it down the drain by going out to restaurants every day and night.
>not having a fiscally conservative family
>any year
Plebs
>>
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>>44376326
Seriously, do you think these people would buy a dumbed down computer? Smartphones are literally news in The Villages.
>>
Please apply to have this thread archived.

It is literally the best thread that has ever been on /g/. Ever.
>>
>>44376415
>Holding iphone facing the wrong way

plebs.
Thread replies: 242
Thread images: 23
Thread DB ID: 14695



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