tech illiterate/tech rage stories >work as a counselor for

>>42943600
I half-assed read your story wondering why someone would give 2 fucks if someone was wrong.

Binary is a numbering system, like octal or base ten.

This dude was right.

Machine code is 'ones and zeroes'. Assembly language is at least human-readable machine code, but may include macros etc.

>>42943625
instead of just saying he was wrong and moving on he made a huge deal out of it and then walked away muttering "doesnt even matter", I was floored I thought people like that only existed on TV shows

OP you shithead. Machine code is what the assembler generates, from assembly. It's ones and zeros

You're an asshole OP, he was just trying to hook up with her but you just had to be a retard and cockblock him, hope atleast that you shagged her afterwards (you probably didn't you disgusting piece of shit)

> net admin at a small ISP
> go out and do service calls because the cable tech is a pleb
> woman has no internet and is bitching
> go to her house, her modem is connected fine
> connect laptop to modem, internet works
> connect laptop to router, a 1st gen WRT54G
> can't get an address from DHCP
> "ma'am you might need a new router"
> she loses it and starts yelling
> there are 4 wires connected to the router
> I assume they are xbox, ps2, sat receiver, and computer at the desk
> decide to find out where they go
> they loop around behind the desk and back to the router
> she fucking connected all the ports on the router to itself
> get rid of all that shit
> everything works
> OH MY GOD I PAY GOOD MONEY FOR INTERNET AND YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS SCREW IT UP

>>42943600
> thinks assembly is machine code
ayy lmao

>>42943697
And hours or days later you are still fired up about it. That's way fucking worse. People in IT are notorious for acting like this kid. They are the number 1 reason I've been successful. I don't act like that and I also don't give a fuck. I'm sure he's being taught how to be a dick by people who also act just like that. They are lost causes... you have a choice. Get riled up for days because someone is stupid and won't admin that you are smart and you end up being just as bad as they are in a different way.

>>42943600
>is this real? why can some people just not admit that they're wrong?

Fucks me off so hard, there's nothing worse than a person that won't hold there hands up and say they're wrong. 9 times out of 10 that saves face and you just:

>Oh shit my bad

and learn your lesson but some cunts just dig holes deeper and deeper and make themselves look likes fucking asses.

>>42943724
Assembly is machine code, normie. Like OP's co-worker, you seem to think numerical machine code and machine code are synonymous - they aren't. Fuck off.

>>42943802
assembly is a low-level programming language, machine code is a set of instructions. they are not the same thing.

>pull up wikipedia page for machine code, call him over

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_code
> "Almost all practical programs today are written in higher-level languages or assembly language, and translated to executable machine code by a compiler and/or assembler and linker."

This one is my fault.
>be me
>get job at best buy
>learning lounges
>long as fuck
>speed through most except for shit I don't no
>whenever I clock in someone presents me to the login screen
>never taught how to get to said screen from the computer/registers at front
>always used time clock
>2nd day on job
>first time to clock out w/o homescreen
>dos looking receipt shit on the screen
>don't want to fuck anything up but thinking about alt-tab
>decide to wait for someone to ask how to get to the time in screen
>geek squad
>"fuck"
>"What are you doing?"
>I just needed to know how to get to the login screen from that dos looking thing to clock o-..
>clicks several keys, can't see what he typed
>Thank you, but what did you press to g-..
>You should know this by now
>expect him to laugh and show me in a kidding manner
>turns away without saying anything
>feel like a stupid cunt for not asking earlier
>work at best buy
>hate geek squad even more

>>42943855
Know*

>first day at new job
>get to my computer
>no login deets anywhere to be found
>go to tech department tell me my account won't be setup for a week
>go to manager ask wat do
>"just wait around for it"
>wait for 30 minutes get bored
>use ophcrack come up with admins user and pass
>login on his account
>start doing work
>manager and tech dude comes over yelling at me for going onto a "super account admin user"
>but I just wanted to work
>fired on spot

>>42943855
>expect him to laugh and show me in a kidding manner
>turns away without saying anything
what a fucking douchebag.

> nobody shows you how to do your job
> gets mad that you don't know shit
fucking hate these kinds of people

>>42943600
>talking with my wealthy friend on skype
>hes saying how hes building his own computer like famous youtubers do
>ask him what the specs are
>"oh, i dont really know. im just buying really expensive parts"
>mfw

>>42943961

You were given the go ahead to jerk off for a week and instead you decided to go swordfish on them.

>>42943967
Thank you, I know I should have asked a manager earlier, but I honestly wasn't expecting that kind of response, it was his last day so I guess he felt obligated to not care.

>>42943961
And they probably would have yelled at you for waiting too. People are fucking chodes.

>>42943855
I hate geek squad because the day of my interview I over heard them trying to charge like $180 to put a new hard drive in this poor womans laptop, that wasn't including the hard drive, so the total was around $230 for that and a fresh install of windows.

>$230 to unscrew a lid and stick in a new hard drive and install windows

Absolutely disgusting. I felt dirty just sitting there and letting it happen.

>>42944332
>thinks something is wrong
>doesn't try to stop it
you should feel dirty

>>42943961
you could have done real damage with a super user account, they were right for firing you. you hacked their computers stupid, what do you expect?

>>42943694
you can't read binary? why the fuck are you even here?

>>42944360
I was desperate for the job. Doesn't excuse that shit though. I would have charged nothing as long as they provided a new hard drive.

>typing class
>customize background
>teacher calls me out, tells me to stop hacking the computers
>what

>>42944466
>every computer class
>students know better than the instructor even in elementary
Good times.

>>42944466
>Any IT class
>do something the teacher doesn't understand
>stop hacking

>>42943600
Don't mean to shit up the thread. All of the stuff I'm finding online is saying otherwise and agreeing with the CS tard. Any good sources I can read up on Assembly vs Machine?

>>42943600
>why can some people just not admit that they're wrong?

Because college students are always right.

>>42943600
The fuck? Have you ever used machine code or assembly?
You need a assembler to turn your asm code into machine code. The assembler replaces asm codes like JNZ into the binary number for that instruction. Clearly, they are different things.

Relfect in the fact that you are wrong, and that the other guy knows that you are wrong.

>>42944090
really he cant go wrong, he has a 50/50 chance on getting an intel chip motherboard, intel shit costs the most so he is mostly likely getting intel cpu, you cant fuck up ram, you cant fuck up power supplies, you cant fuck up graphics cards

>>42944789
>>42944909
no the CS guy was wrong about machine code being binary and OP was wrong about assembly code being equivalent to machine code.

>>42944466
Should have called her a mac fag

>>42944939
Then what is machine code? I thought it was simply binary/hex setup from the assembler to be used by the cpu

>>42943855
wouldnt it still be in the buffer?

>>42943967
OOh I know this all to well.
Best is when you get told: "There's no shame in not knowing, only in not asking. If you don't know something, just ask."
Then when you don't know something, you get treated like a retard "lol you should know that are you stupid?" without anyone showing you anything beforehand. And when you fuck up you get asked "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK YOU RETARD?".
Fuck this stupid world.

>>42944939
Well machine code is often writen in hex for easier readablility, but it's defenently in binary when being run on the cpu.

>>42944397
>>42944397
>>42944397
this

>>42945052
in machine code the CPU instructions are represented by hex values whereas assembly languages have keywords and sometimes extra operators and stuff that get "assembled" by an assembler into the hex formatted machine code the CPU gets

>>42945068
yeah i guess you and the CS guy are right afterall

>>42945124
Well yea it's often represented as hex, but the code itself is binary.

>>42945175
hex or binary, the difference is readability and sometimes extra bells and whistles in asm

>>42945068
>>42945124
Thanks guys!

>>42943961
Should have been promoted. Such merit. The IT chucklefuck takes a week to setup a single account? You should have his job. Fuck that place. You'll find better.

>>42943600
Because of the gay way you decided to present your story in i can't figure out which one of the morons from it is you. Oh but you did greentext, good job there, i can sense your 4chan spirit from here.

>>42945065
I don't still don't know.

>>42944332
"Excuse me sir, is that really what you charge for that service? Ma'am they are ripping you off tremendously, Follow me to my house with things and I'll do it for a sixpack. We can share the beer while it installs and listen to black flag and i'll show you my desktop rice and muh sweet linux install and you'll love it so much that you wanna install it to and while the base install is finishing i will ejaculate against your cervix sowing the seeds of indoctrination into our spawn before they are conceived i love you ma'am kun let us teach the children the ways of GNU and live in paradise

>>42945489
>ma'am kun

>>42945489
"

>>42943600
you are just an retarded, who ever fights over this ?

>HURR look how much i know bout computers, i can even wikipedia

i bet you are the type of guy who "refuses to use java, even if the whole codebase is written in it, because IT IS SO BLOARTWED"

Im SO grad i never have to work with you little aspie gurl

>>42945489
I mean, pretty much this.
I'll settle for canned national bohemian.

>>42943600
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_code

You're an idiot. The guy was RIGHT and you were not. Now you posting it on /g/ and everyone is laughing at you.

>implying that opcodes only exist as base 16

>>42943600
you are totally wrong you retard

>>42943600
>be 18
>in computer lab for study hall
>IT twats re imaging computers
>bored out of my fucking mind
>decide to boot up my Kali flash drive
>computer is booting
>they see me at grub
>"hey anon stop hacking"
>tell them I'm not
>they threaten to expel me say what I'm doing isn't possible
>tell them its Linux
>they don't know what it is
>still convinced I'm hacking
>mfw my friend and my teach stick up for me
>mfw their best argument was the computer shouldn't be able to do that
>never got in trouble
>later on that year I set up a back door on the network so anyone of my friends can have admin access
>eventually end up selling access to kids
>make money
>mfw I see those IT twats trying to figure out when ever other computer have admin access

>>42945380
This

Taking a week to set up a fucking user account? Shit takes me 5mins at my job. IT guy should be fired on the spot for wasting company time.

>This thread

Holy damn, people... I don't mind if people are wrong, but "correcting" someone who is right is just terrible.

>>42944789
The CS tard was right.

Machine code is binary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_code

Assembly is a language that consists of mnemonics (Not binary, text) that get translated into machine code when compiled.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assembly_language

Machine code can be viewed as hexidecimal text, because that is how binary is represented so you can actually see what it consists of on a system.

>>42945630
Or with admin access he should have made his own account. then acted all like "whaaa???" when they freak out he already has one.

>>42945654
>Machine code can be viewed as hexidecimal text
I should add... With a Hex editor that is specifically designed to view binary. If you look at machine code in Notepad or something, you'll see a lot of garbage characters because it tries to represent it according to ANSI.

>>42943802
OP, you went full retard. Assembly has variable names and all kind of macros.
Modern assembly is more of an untyped programming language.

>>42943846
Note the word "executable".

OP wasn't saying that computers understand assembly. He was saying that there is a 1:1 mapping of the instructions that computers understand and the instructions you can write in ASM.

>>42943600
yeah, we have also such retards at our work who thing they are smart for being able to open wikipedia (and is still wrong most of the time).

we just try not to laugh too hard, because he is related to our chef in some way

This thread gave me autism

>>42943600
>be processor
>user tells me "xor ax, ax"
>the fuck is he talking 'bout ?

>>42945818
8/10

>>42945690
>there is a 1:1 mapping of the instructions that computers understand and the instructions you can write in ASM
Which is also bullshit, by the way.

>>42945840
Well, shit.

>>42945840
Oh? Source?
I know instructions like mov and cmp and their operands are always represented the exact same way in the same order in binary when looking at a hex editor.

What doesn't do this..? Because I don't actually know. /curious

>>42943772
"Save face" is the exact opposite of admitting your failure in public, you autistic fuck. And yes it exists in the west, we just don't off ourselves when it happens. OP should have dropped it and possibly networked himself a future friend in business...instead of making an enemy. That shit stings to the grave.

>>42945614
>using Kali
>not hacking

>>42945614
Why are you using Kali if you are not hacking? I thought that's was it was for

>>42944332

I had an interview with a local IT place that is like an Internet cafe/fixing place all in one. Whilst at my interview, the owner (while interviewing me) received a call about something. I was a little miffed and waited around (albeit I pulled out my phone and did some Internet stuff) for him. He got off the phone, berated me for pulling out my phone during an interview, and then resumed it. This was after a good ten minute call. I didn't really care all that much about that, but apparently during the call the caller complained about a slow computer and he wanted them to upgrade to Windows Vista.

I fudged the rest of the interview and left.

>>42944332
$100 reinstall OS
$50 hardware install
Probably $80 for drive

>>42944414
And they would of asked why you missed out on $150 on services.

>>42946241
capitalist scum

>>42946269
Just telling it how it is. My store didn't have a budget for our department so we did shit for free all the time. We couldn't charge someone $100 just to reinstall Windows 8 a few weeks after they bought their PC because it refuses to install updates and just loops over and over.

>>42944332
So do you have that job now?
Are you a CA, ARA or OA?

If you're a CA, I feel sorry for you. That's the worst position to be in since you have to be the poor asshole that actually pitches and sells it. ARA is better. You don't have to be customer facing. You just do the dirty deed and make the CAs do the talking.

>>42945938
Some instructions are added by the assembler.
For example ADD7 REG1 could be replaced seven times by ADD1 REG1

>>42945938
There are things like macros. Also goto and similar commands have to do multiple steps.

>>42946373
GOTO is literally a change in the program counter. 1 instruction

>>42946353
Oh! Right, I had not considered those.

Thanks.

>be 10
>grandma gets a cellphone, it's one of those old plastic Nokias
>I like playing the games on it
>Anon pls don't touch my phone you'll break something
>but Grandma this phone is indestructible and I literally can't fuck up the software even if I wanted to
>no pls don't touch it if something goes wrong I'll have to deal with the repair people

fucking hell

>>42946406
a) you have to calculate the number
b) it may be two, if you have to load the value first (I don't know about architecture instruction set details.)

>>42946160
>>42946233
I was but I didn't even get to the desktop and the IT people were already saying I had hacked the computer

>>42943961
are you fucking retarded?

>be me
>have most tech knowledge in family (not a great achievement)
>decide to assemble PC
>triple-boot Win7, OS X and Mint
>family convinced I am a wizard
>"No, seriously, all I did was google it"

>>42947550
mine's the total opposite.

>be me
>have most tech knowledge in family (whatever)
>simply wipe hard drive and install linux distro
>family convinced I still don't know what im doing
>"my friend said linux is for macs, and it's a virus"
>wtf no ur friend is dumb
>"he's older so he knows more"
>mfw im gay

>>42943855
Ctrl+Shift+Z+Z

>>42945818
10/10 i clapped

>>42947752
I love you <3

>>42945067
This is exactly what happened.
Was told "There is no such thing as a stupid question". Then I get shamed for asking a question.

>>42946341
ARA here.
That guy should have started off as a CA unless he has experience. Don't know about your precient, but we have almost as much customer facing as the CA's since many times clients want to talk to us since we did the work (old people). Also worse is we get started on the job after they pay for everything and we find out the HDD failed diag's. Nothing worse than calling a person who dropped 200 bucks and now asking for another 60 plus recovery disk.

>>42946341
Oh no no no.
I had already disliked geek squad and resented working in that portion of the store.
I had applied for Home Theater because of my interest in audio, and was placed in Home Essentials. I'm in MD.

>>42943625
b-b-b-b-but they're wrong!!!!!!! fucking rretards!!!!!!
raaaaaaaaaaaaaaage!!!!!!!

File: df80d467f874139536400c15fc314d30.png (81KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 400x400px

>>42947691
>he's older so he knows more.

>>42946241
This is pretty much what their training is like.
The whole time I'm just thinking "95% of these customers don't even know what the fuck half the shit on this card does, and none of them are interested. We're lucky enough to meet the $500 deadline for each hour, why attempt ruining that by pestering them with something that 9.9/10 they won't be interested in?"

>>42945489
that was a pleasant tweest :^)

>>42945938
>Source?
You don't need a fucking source for common knowledge. JNLE produces the same machine code as JG. That breaks your 1:1 right off the bat without even mentioning macros.

>Work in printer repair shop (big place, does all of X company's repair for the whole country)
>Use some shitty GUI thing on WinXP to control the printers
>One of my coworkers starts freaking out one day
>"The program's gone!"
>I look at his desktop, the shortcut is gone
>Manager comes over, coworker is panicking
>I try to help him find the program in the filesystem
>Manager screams "What do you think you're doing?! You're not tech support! You're not authorized to work on these machines!"
>Wut
>Tech support comes over
>Uses WinXP's search application to search for the shortcut's name
>Actual executable uses a different name; I tell him what it is
>He ignores me
>Manager screams at me to get back to work
>Search finishes. No results. Tech support unplugs computer and takes it to be reimaged
That place was insane. At another time, I got called to HR and given a written warning because I changed my machine's wallpaper.

>>42947949
I knew I recognized that image.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FoH9U_7n0Q

>>42946082
Are you trying to say that "save face" is the same as not admitting when you're wrong? Because then maybe you should save face.

>>42943961
jej, you didn't want to be there anyway.

clearly they know nothing of security or technology for that matter.

>>42945614
>mfw their best argument was the computer shouldn't be able to do that

if you went to a nonshit school, they wouldn't allow you to do it with a bios pass.

>>42946568
Shit, man. Would you want to have to deal with repair people? I mean, she obviously doesn't understand enough to know how probable that is, but can you blame her for wanting to minimize the chance?

>>42948763
So I'm glad I had the ability to do that since it allowed me to practice hacking and dull my boredom

>>42943625
>>42947947
He's an educator. You can't allow people who are teaching younglings to go around spouting bullshit.

File: 1313119946373.gif (97KB, 126x126px)

97KB, 126x126px

>>42943600
you're indeed wrong about it, even the wikipedia page asserts his point. Why didn't you say "oops, I screwed up"?

>>42945664
this lmao

>>42948210
I love when tech support does that.
>Program is missing
>reimage

>Someone installed firefox
>reimage

>Change desktop backgroujnd
>reimage

I swear to god it's the only thing they can do.