>Gives shitty breath >Gives bad teeth >Causes stomach

>>35994551
I'm pretty sure molten Uranium is the worst drink in human history

1. Gum

2. Gum

3. Doesn't

4. LOL

5. pleb

> apple more energy than stimulant

lmao

>>35994551
But im allergic to apples :( and most fruit in general.

What would be a good kickstarter into the day if i can only eat few amounts of fruits and want to ditch coffee?

>>35994551
>Gives shitty breath
nope, your oral health is just shit
>Gives bad teeth
nope, see above
>Causes stomach issues
nope unless you wash down all your meals with it
>Addictive
yea
>Tastes awful
lol

>A fresh green apple is PROVEN to give more energy than a cup of coffee
your mum is PROVEN to suck my diick

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Quit coffee two months ago. Never had pic related anymore. I'd never have thought that it was the coffee that was giving me that. Breath is also 100x times better.

>>35994587
A caffeine pill because op is a faggot.

>>35994551

>give more energy

An apple doesn't bind to the adenosine receptors. I can't stand faggots that NEEED A COFFEE LOL but I also can't stand faggots that can't into understanding

>>35994587
fructose intolerance?
i have that shit too. found a remedy, that seems promising though.

>>35994645
Oh shit, ive got that too. Is it because of the coffee? Cause then I would stop in heartbeat

>>35994645
Maybe you should clean your tongue.

>>35994678
Mine apparently was. Yours could be for a different reason.

>>35994689
Faggot.

Apples are filled with FODMAPS that irritate your bowel and cause gas.

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>>35994603
kek

>>35994703
Fuck I love gas, I'm sold

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Did you even check the ingredients,checkd out if it has sugar?
Been drinking sugar free coffee for 5 years
No problems so far.

>>35994645
>>35994678
brush your fucking tongues, you troglodytes

Best solution:

One green apple
One cup good quality coffee
Both

Only right solution. Apples and coffee is a marriage made in heaven.

>>35994551
>Suppresses appetite and gives energy, perfect for going on a cut
>Learn to take it black and it's virtually zero carbs
>Impress normies by doing something incredibly basic - drinking coffee black

And to respond to you, do you even brush your teeth?

>>35994678
No, just clean your tongue.

Brushing your teeth is only part of oral hygiene. Get a tongue scraper.

>>35994739
>Impress normies by doing something incredibly basic - drinking coffee black
... where the fug do you live, anon?

>>35994736
>brushing your tongues
Using your TOOTHbrush on your tongue is fucking retarded.

There's actual equipment designed to clean your tongue.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/hpc/3777991/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_hpc_1_3_last

>>35994736
>>35994689

It stands to reason that the problem was exacerbated by coffee even though tongues were properly brushed. It's obvious. I didn't know I had to make that explicit. You guys are as intelligent as babies.

>>35994738
>Learn to take it black
kek

>>35994551
I just use it whenever i have slept bad :) so

1. Gum
2. Gum
3. Nope
4. Not if you only use it when you need it. That way you also wont grow resistant to caffeine :)
5. Tastes good

>>35994750
Michigan, home of the Starbucks mocafrappachino with 3 vanilla shots and whole milk. It's pathetic, what people do to their caffeine here.

>>35994645
Use a tongue brush, they work really well. I never have bad breath anymore thanks to it.

Subhuman

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As with every made up retarded "Food/Drink X is bad for you" post on 4chan, every food is fine in moderation and variety is far more important than the potential benefits of restriction

A black unsweetened coffee or two per day is fine. As with when you consume ANYTHING acidic, brush your teeth afterwards and/or chew gum because you're not a retard.

>>35994765
wut?

>>35994551
>Gives shitty breath
Does for me, literal shit-breath at times.
>Gives bad teeth
Stains your teeth if you drink it enough, especially when black.
>Causes stomach issues
Not for me...? I find if I drink coffee on an empty stomach I'll get some stomach discomfort.
>Addictive
Agreed, I have a cup every morning and another throughout the day.
>Tastes awful
I mean, sort of. You learn to like it.
>A fresh green apple is PROVEN to give more energy than a cup of coffee
Cite your source and I'll gladly drop my coffee habit.

>>35994734
What is this pic?

>>35994551
1. Brush your teeth
2. See above
3. Only if you're a massive faggot
4. Lol no. See above.
5. See above
All your points boil down to you being a massive faggot incapable of basic self care. Definitely not gonna make it.
Sage this shit thread

>>35994778
You make me glad I live 9 hours drive from the nearest Starbucks

>>35994830
Do you live in a literal shit hole? Or just not in America (aka a literal shit whole)

>>35994904
Burgertroll pls go

>>35994805
One minor mistake. Do NOT brush your teeth directly afterwards. Wait at least some time. The acid attacks the plaque at the teeth, when you brush directly afterwards the physical force of the toothbrush will erode your plaque even more.

>>35994830
Fuck it I want to share this.
>Used to work at this corny pizzaria restaurant with a cringe slogan.
>The starting bmi of these workers was 25 and went up rapidly to morbidly obese.
>We had a pizza buffet that would close at 3 so all the employees would eat pizza and cheese bread daily, otherwise it would just get thrown out (the place was wasteful as shit.)
>I was the only person that would ever touch the small salad section of the buffet.
>They'd make crazy dessert pizzas and just eat it all like fat fucks, not even pretending it was for the customers. Lord knows how they explained that expense in their books.
>Anyways on top of all of that, all the carbs and all the bitching about how they're gaining weight and how I'm not getting fat like them, there was always a designated starbucks runner even though we HAD a coffee machine.
>They ordered it all. All the mocha fucking... espresso frappachino... there's a whole language to this shit that goes over my head. All topped with generous whipcream and chocolate/caramel drizzle.
>Everyday
>And they couldn't fathom their weight.

So. Yes. This is a very real phenomena where people use the excuse of ingesting caffeine to consume 800 calories of sugar. If you ever feel up to it, bring some work into a starbucks sometime and just people watch as you do it.

>>35994551
I just placed one ounce fresh roasted freshly ground organic coffee beans with one teaspoon of fresh ground Black Pepper in a single serve French Press carafe. I boiled glass bottled Mountain Valley brand Spring Water. Over the boiling water in the mug I placed two teaspoons of Finnish cultured unsalted butter and a tablespoon of organic unrefined cold pressed Doctor Bronner's brand Coconut Oil which melted while the water boiled.

I then added half a dropper full of Liquid Stevia extract , Sri Lankan Cinnamon, a tablespoon of Brain Octane C8 Medium Chain Triglyceride Oil and a half ounce of raw organic Ecuadorian Cacao Powder and mixxed that to a creamy texture while the Coffee steeped four minutes. I added the Coffee to the mug and stired with a bamboo chopstick to get all the gooey stuff off the sides and poured everything into a blender to whip..

This is how I enjoy Cofffee every day..

>>35994914
this.
the same goes for acidic foods (like lemons)

>>35994932
I like your story telling ability, would read more from you.

>>35994819
It's a vending machine with an unintentionally depressing message taped to it.

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>>35994932
Capped for future fat hate threads. Thanks for the story, bro.

>>35994551
>worst drink in human history
b8 thread desu senpai

>>35994551
nah I wish my parents would have let me drink coffee as a kid. My grades went from c's to A's once I added caffeine into my life
dumbass parents

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>>35994551
Coffee fag here. I love coffee, import it from around the world, always like to try something new.

>Gives shitty breath
>Gives bad teeth
Bad hygiene. Shitty breath is because of bacteria, not coffee. Also, I waterpick after coffee because I dont want the acids to hurt my teeth. And I brush my teeth before going out in the morning because you know, I just had breakfast.
>Causes stomach issues
Untrue, unless you consider making you poop a stomach issue.
>Addictive
Truth although nothing like other drugs. I dont suffer when I dont have it but sometimes I "need" it
>Tastes awful
you have bad taste. You are drinking coffee that is fucking garbage from dunkins or something. Pic related is heaven, when hand ground and french pressed with a bit of sugar and cream (fuck purists, drink how you want).

http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/early/2015/11/10/CIRCULATIONAHA.115.017341.abstract

Also studies with massive populations have been released on coffees benefits on health in many systems. Dont be an idiot.

>>35994765
you replied to the wrong one

Is it just me that feels an insane need to shit after 2-3 cups of coffee? I need to know how to stop this

>>35995000
Hopefully my Comp 106 teacher likes my writing abilities as much as you do, but he's also a fat fuck so I'm probably going to get screwed on that as well. One common theme you read in fathate stories is that you get tainted by the beetus, and once you're tainted you're ruined for life. Fat fucks just... sniff you out somehow once you're marked so they can mildly inconvenience you. My writing teacher is doing a great job of that. Anyways, more of that godforsaken pizzeria/bar, if people are enjoying it and capping it.

>Worked there May to late December before I quit.
>Started as a 5'10 male weighing 210 of pretty much all fat (I'm forever marked with the beetus)
>Immediately after getting hired on, found my resolve to make it on /fit/.
>The place itself is horribly managed and everyone cuts every corner they can.
>Me being an insecure chub, I get pressured into covering for them doing 3 people's worth of work at once whilst they chat in the kitchen.
>Reeeee normies, I bitched on r9k for awhile, but in hindsight it's my fault for letting them treat me that way.
>Blah blah, restaurants are hard, high drama all the time, people break down crying, you get how that works.
>But they're always dicks to me because they know I can be pressured into covering for them.
>As we start to hit the September/October part of my employment, I've lost 50 pounds and coworkers are jelle.
>These people that have been shitting on me came in maybe... slightly overweight but I realized that they've blimped up during my employment.
>It's petty as hell, absolutely. But as I'm starting to realize that I'd rather kill myself than work there, there's this silver lining. Everyone that I hate, everyone that mistreats me... they get fat by neglecting their health which is par for the course for the place.
>It's my secret revenge. My secret gratification. Watching them lose their sex appeal.
>I quit having lost 50 pounds and made newb gains. Literally every other employee only bulked.

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>>35994551
>see this thread
>make a pot of coffee

>>35995165
Some people use excuses and get fat, others use situations like this to motivate themselves. It makes you the stronger one, anon. Good on you.

>>35995165
Read again/10

Feel free to keep posting here anon. I worked in a fairly busy restaurant for years so I definitely can relate famalamabam

>>35994932
Similar story:
Making a Starbucks run at my work. Tell my employee, a butterface cardiobunny, I'll be gone for 20 mins.

She asks me to pick her up a drink and hands me 15 dollars. I laugh because my drink costs less than 3 dollars and I don't think it's physically possible to order that much coffee so I hand her the 10 back and say I'll cover anything over 5.

On the walk over to Starbucks I receive a text long enough to contain plans to steal the Declaration of Independence. Instead of keeping Nicholas Cage's career afloat, the document is her coffee order. The base of the drink was a Trenta (which I didn't know they had) mocha frappucino with an absurd amount of "pumps" of caramel and chocolate syrup. She also wanted added soy milk, espresso and protein powder (which I also didn't know they had).

Instead of trying to orate this to the unfortunate barista, I simply handed her my phone and let her take off. Her drink came out to 12 dollars and and change. Using the menu board, the Calories added up to at least 800, and that doesn't include all the syrup she wanted.

She ended up drinking half of it because the whip cream triggered her lactose intolerance.

Moral of the story, never start a small business guys.

>>35995244
Thanks. It was definitely a workout, running around cleaning the entire restaurant, bussing tables and everything, while everyone else did fuckall. I used to be pretty grossly sweaty, running around the place when I wasn't as fit, just trying to clean tables to combat our seemingly never-ending wait list. It legitimately did speed up my weight loss, in a fucked up way. Funny how that works. Anyways.
>We had this one morbidly obese woman. I'm not great at guessing planetary masses but she easily surpassed 300. I'll call her Jessica.
>One of the countless mistakes management made was overbooking servers when we were dead and underbooking when we were slammed.
>One of the many lunch shifts in which we were dead, she decided to try to make a miracle happen - getting management to fix something that's broken.
>The floor manager, who really had no higher power beyond being able to order us around in the moment, happened to be at my host stand. She can be Sarah.
>Jessica opens up the conversation by stating that she has three kids.
>If you've ever seen a morbidly obese family at a restaurant, you'd know how they feed their children the worst food in the highest quantity. That's what's going through my head at the thought of this woman being a mother.
>Jessica complains to Sarah, explaining that she has 2 kids to support and that she wasn't making money looking at empty tables (that I cleaned.)
>Also mentions that she's a single mother.
>Sarah is having none of it. Tells her it's out of her hands and that she either has to complain to our insane bitch of a boss or suck it up, but that she can't just walk out of a shift.
>Jessica leaves it at that and goes back to sulking in the kitchen instead of doing anything productive.
>I can't fathom even making rent with our paycheck, let alone supporting 3 kids.
>Let alone supporting her stomach.

>>35995326
My place is a chain of 9something restaurants, they might've opened a 10th, idk. They have nutrition info online, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who read it. The non-stupid salads were passable but we had shit like
>Cheese bread. Servings per appetizer - 4. Calories per serving - 572.
>Pizza rolls. Servings per appetizer - 4. Calories per serving - 526.
And customers just... didn't know. How could they, in a way? You eat cheese bread as an APPETIZER at our restaurant and get your entire fucking daily caloric intake. I'm not making up the nutrition info here, it's horrendous. So imagine our employees disassembling our pizza buffet after it shuts down and munching on the cheesebread. Everyday. As a snack to compliment their pizza. It's no wonder they gained weight. The place is such a fucking gains goblin trap, it's actually sort of incredible in a way. I have no idea how the hell I made it out of there weighing less. I'm the first and only, I think.

>>35994587
Green tea
Have it twice a day, after breakfast and lunch

I have one strong coffee a morning to wake me up then tea the rest of the day to top me up and avoid a crash.

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>>35995210
>see this thread
>make a pot of coffee
>accidentally wash the warm pot with cold water
>pot cracks but not breaks
>mfw

>>35995758
doesn't break, fuck

I think as long as you drink coffee from time to time and use it like it is intended there is no problem with that. If you are one of those low test fatties that are tired all day and need 5 cups of coffee to be a semi-functional member of society and do their lame as job then you are a disgusting piece of shit.

>>35994815
apple calories: 90
Coffee calories: 0
More energy: Apple
More stimulant: coffee
Misinterpreting, misinformed retard: OP

>>35995845
10 points to Griffindor

>>35995058
>waterpick after coffee

If the coffee temporary weakens the enamel then why would you blast your teeth with water right after when they are at their weakest?

>>35994551
>Gives shitty breath
Only if your oral health is bad to start with (or your overall health; do you guzzle sugary drinks, fatass?)
>Gives bad teeth
See above
>Causes stomach issues
HTFU, faggot.
>Addictive
Only if you're stupid about it -- or a pussy with a weak constitution/mind.
>Tastes awful
You've obviously only ever had bad coffee, or don't know how to make it properly.

Coffee is awesomely good stuff, but only if it's good coffee to start with, and made properly.

I'm guessing you're a kid and you only drink sodas, so you can't appreciate anything that isn't flavored sugar water to start with.

>>35994551
coffee and alcohol are both something that people use to repress their deepest fears so they dont have to think about them and hopefully forget them completely

>>35996027
Projecting much?

Some of us enjoy decent coffee and adult beverages because we enjoy how they taste, as well as some of the effects. Then, apparently, there's you.

All talk is well & good until you find yourself face to face with free work break coffee.

Tastes nasty, make it yourself, meth was a lesser high.

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>>35994778
I live in Ohio, i know your pain anon

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>>35994739
>Impress normies by doing something incredibly basic - drinking coffee black

>>35994569
kek'd

>>35994551
>>Gives shitty breath
I wipe my tongue with a paper towel after a cup and boom no bad breath.
>>Gives bad teeth
Yeah cause you don't brush enough man.
>>Causes stomach issues
Quite the opposite really.
>>Addictive
Quite the opposite really.
>>Tastes awful
Stop drinking that Folger shit.

Why not have an apple to "wash down" the coffee anon. Best of both worlds.
>>35995326
What the fuck dude I know like 6 people who never finish their coffees cause its pure cream. Holy christ I gagged. Giving up the creamer was one of best decisions Ive ever made in my life.

>>35996553
Poke fun if you want but a good percentage of people can't fathom drinking coffee black. It can make for a conversation piece.

>>35994569
I had liquid brimstone as a breakfast beverage once. Needless to say, my flatulence smelled like eggs throughout the day.

>>35994584
pretty much bang on

although it does irritate the stomach (mainly when drank black)

Wrong.
ACtually if you are a real man you drink coffe in the morning.

Also a green apple gives you more SUGAR than a cup of coffe.

Just take cocaine if you want energy

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>tfw used to be a manager for coffee shop
>ridiculous amount of pretentious customers
>Head office were even worse
>Went to annual convention/meeting
>Met the taster
>Itailian DYEL with glasses and linen shirt
>Tongue is insured for a million
>His husband was a 5/10 at best

I sort of wanted him to taste my cum, being insured for that much he should be able to taste which supplements I'm using.

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>>35995957
1 cringe at you

>>35996668
"You drink your coffee black"?

"Yeah, I like it black."

"Oh, cool"


Some fucking conversation peice

>>35994551
>fresh green apple is PROVEN to give more energy than a cup of coffee
[citation needed]

>>35994645
I have that too

Google candida

>>35997430
how the fuck does someone even go about insuring their tongue?

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>>35994551

>tastes awful

Why don't you add some cream and sugar in it, honey?

>>35997430
fucking kek

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>>35994551
>Tastes awful
>being 16
>drinking instant

>>35994662
It makes me feel warm when it turns out there are people out there like you anon.

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>>35997430

>ciao anon
>a wonderful load, bravissimo
>Quattro scoops mi amore
>c'mone darling
>leggera bambino

>>35997558
I don't know the process, but it actually isn't that unheard of. Heidi Klum's legs are insured for millions, and one is actually worth less because she has a scar. There are a bunch of people with insured body parts, Google it if you want a bizarre read.

>>35995138
some people are more predisposed to coffee shits

it doesn't change

>>35994551
>green apple is proven to give more energy than a cup of coffee
Are you retarded? Of course apples give you more energy, calories are are measures of energy and coffee has negligible calories. I love the taste of coffee, it wakes me up, and it helps curb my hunger.

>>35994603
r e k t
e k t
k t
t

>>35994551
>addictive

That's a bad thing? I just figured it made it easier to see who lacks willpower.