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Performance anxiety and one night stands
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness

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This is really fucking with my mind, I think I suffer from performance anxiety induced ED..

I pretty much always had a problem getting an erection the first time I try to fuck a new girl.

So here's what happened (sorry this is gonna be long)
>be me 28 year old turbo manlet, not the greatest confidence, bretty gud looking though
>recently lost some weight, have always been muscular
>decide to go to dat german karneval party
>on the way there I meet this girl I've known for 10 years and her friends
>she hasen't seen me since becoming /fit/
>she's dressed as a sexy fox, tail and everything - tells me shes going to another party
>We say our goodbyes and I head to my intended party when suddenly she and her friends are standing next to me in the cue
>don't think much of it, we have a great time together and get pretty drunk
>next thing I know she literally attacks me and we're making out like crazy (caveman style), don't even know how that fucking happened but feels fucking great since I haven't seen any action whatsoever since my gf broke up with me half a year ago
>party for another couple hours (big mistake, kept getting drunker and drunker..)
>head to her place
>strip out of clothes and get into bed together.. feels fucking great but I'm already anxious since I know whats coming
>Have my fingers in her pussy, she's fondling my balls and stroking my cock but I only get a semi
>I don't even escalate any further because I know I won't get it up properly to put on a condom even though she is also pretty /fit/ and fucking hot.. small tits but a great fucking ass and legs
>lick her pussy for a bit

so here is where my autism really kicks in
>>
>since I know I won't be able to perform I make the fucking excuse that it's somehwat weird because I've known her this long and she was the best friend of one of my exes (which was fucking 8 years ago)
>she says not it isn't (of course it isn't, I'm just a fucking retard) but this pretty much kills the mood
>we cuddle and I spend the night, but I can feel that the attraction is gone
>wake up in the morning and still try to fucking cuddle with her, maybe thinking we can try again but of course it leads nowhere
>finally pick up the hint that it's time to leave
>she later texts me that she's sorry for basically kicking me out but that as she got sober she realized that this wasn't such a good idea even though she really fucking wanted it while being drunk
>I act all nonchalantly like this was all no big deal and she shouldn't worry about it
>been really crushed since then and I know it will all happen again with the next girl (but I'm most depressed about not being able to turn her into a fwb just because my fucking dick didn't work..)

What can I do /fit/? Am I doomed to forever go the boyfriend route and never just have fun ONS?

To keep it fit & health related, are there some exercises to train my dick to become hard whenever I want to? What about kegels?
>>
>>35944417
How is this fitness related ?
>>
>>35944420
sexual fitness & health, you didn't read the last part where I specifically asked for penor exercises?
>>
>>35944418
Kegels, yes to stay erect and push out semen.

Yes, you also probably should stay the boyfriend route with your boyfriend.
>>
>>35944420
They might have taken health out of the title but they will never take it out of the board.
>>
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Starting this. Take all in one sitting or spread it out the whole day?

T-this won't kill me right?
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>>35944418
Less drink, less porn, no smoke if you do and do more foreplay and let her do more as well if you do a lot, this'll help you relax
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>>35944420

Evolutionary fitness bruh
>>
>>35944417
Just buy some generic viagra. You only need a little bit and it'll work a treat. Take like a third of a pill if you think you're gonna get lucky. You'll need about 30 mins and then you're good to go. You'll love it.
>>
>>35944418
>>35944417
Try not to sweat it too much. I suffer from the same problem, and I'm pretty sure it's from being the kind of person that gets anxious and overthinks everything.

Check your T levels. Anxiety may be caused by relatively low levels of testosterone-if it is, either use lifestyle change or synthetic products to bring it up to optimal levels.

In the meantime, go to one of the steroid sites over in /fraud/ and grab some cheap cialis. Use it the first couple times you fuck a girl, and by the 3-4th time you should be comfortable enough with her that you won't need it. I'm 25 and this has happened to me with every new girl I've fucked since highschool, and that number is hovering above 20 right now. I've found that if I concentrate on pleasuring her for a while, I can relax myself enough that I can get hard if she blows me for a little.

The cialis does a lot for easing the anxiety in your mind that's causing the ED. Until you find ways of managing that anxiety, I think it's a good, safe way of medically dealing with the problem that you have.
>>
>>35944418
>>35944417
Are you me, OP?

I'm not full autismo though and just tell the truth: I'm drunk and probably not gonna get hard.

Last few years have been brutal, I'm 26 and can't keep hard when I'm drunk and going to put on a condom. It's hard to finish too.

I can't nofap or noporn either because I lack willpower. The thing is, I'm pretty good looking and social - I get laid easily, I just can't actually have sex without a lot of things going my way.

Terrible.
>>
>>35944534
>>35944533

That's it man. The anxiety is the worst part, and every subsequent time it hasn't work gets more and more intense.

Links to good cialis/viagra sites?
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>>35944546
Just google 'generic viagra' or 'kamagra'. Buy 10 x 100mg pills and just take a third like I said. I'm in the UK, I think you're in USA so don't know any links but there are hundreds, maybe thousands of sites to choose from. I pay £10 (about $15) for 10 and it lasts ages. Because you know you've taken it it also alleviates your anxiety.

BTW, it's nothing to do with testosterone if it's mental anxiety.
>>
>>35944535
Rather self-defeating to just diagnose yourself with a lack of willpower and not want to try and change that.
It's not like having cancer, you can make yourself have willpower. Just by not fapping when you want to. Sounds easy, but really it is.

If you accompany nofap with regular exercise it also gets much easier
>>
>>35944418
B T F O
T
F
O
>>
>>35944417
>>35944418


I'm 33 y-o and have had shitty boners for as long as I can remember. Stories like yours... I probably have 10 of them.

Anyway, just get some cialis and that's it, problem fixed. Go see your doctor, there is no shame. You'll also get a confidence boost / more escalating since you know you'll have a diamond boner when it's smash time
>>
>>35944574
I'm in the UK now though. Help.

I'm sure it's not test and is just anxiety. MFW I blew it with THREE girls in ONE week because of my shitty dick.

>>35944578
I really want to cut it out, but ~12 years of porn use has done a number on me. I've reduced my fapping considerably, and I get so little out of it but... idle hands are the devil's playthings and I'm a master's student with not much to do sometimes.

No excuses though, I know.
>>
>>35944578
This is naive. He has mental anxiety, no amount of not fapping or exercise will fix that.
>>
>>35944465
But will kegels help if I'm not even able to get a good erection in the first place?

>>35944493
wouldn't mind testing this, but I don't think that it will help me get my dick hard in the first place :/

>>35944513
You're right.. I really need to cut back on the drinking.. I should have just left with her as soon as we we're making out..

Also no porn - yeah probably.. since this happened I probably jerked of 9 times because I've been so fucking horny

>>35944533
This actually seems like a good idea, it seems not easy to get it here in germany and is kinda expensive but I guess thats still loads better than not being able to perform and feeling like shit afterwards, thanks!

>>35944534
Thank you!
I wanted to get my T levels checked anyways.. and the cialis also sounds pretty good.
It's really all in my fucking head, as soon as I'm not anxious around a girl I'm able to perform pretty well.. but these kind of experiences really hurt your confidence and it seems to get worse every time..

>>35944535
Fuck man, I know what it feels like.. when I think of all the missed opportunities where I just was too afraid pull the trigger because I was already knew I wouldn't be able to perform... fuck.

But yes you're totally right, I should have just told the truth.. I will definitely see her again at some parties, but by telling her this shit I fucked it up for good I think

>>35944546
I feel ya..

>>35944574
Would you happen to have a reliable UK source that ships in the EU though?

>>35944579
Yep.

>>35944626
Talking to a doctor would be possible I guess.. but I'd much rather prefer an online pharmacy though.. but thanks, good adivce
>>
>>35944626
how much do you, personally, have to pay for yours?
>>
>>35944648

I've bought form this product from this company before - https://direct-kamagra.eu/product/superblue-generic-viagra/

They ship worldwide.
>>
Similar boat as you OP.

I really don't want to use drugs to get hard but I'm thinking about it.

Before I try to put a condom on with my girlfriend I feel how nervous I am. Not sure if nervousness causes the erection to fall, or if the falling erection causes the nervousness.

I think I'm afraid to pull the trigger on generic viagra because if it doesn't work I will feel worse.
>>
>>35944417

I have had similar experiences

>Be me, pretty smooth talking, pretty swole, six feet
>Aka generally attractive
>Went to community college and cacooned and never fucked
>Finally get out after a couple years, live with my friend at his frat house
>First girl I bring back, I actually jizz in my pants while she strokes the outside
>Second girl my cock is too floppy to fuck
>Third begs and works to get me hard, finally does, hops on me, I cum inside her no rubber after 15 seconds (she was/still is a friend, so not as terrible as spunking in a random)
>4th I actually get wood, don't wrap up (whatever, we're both white), and have a legit nice fuck
>3rd comes back again, have an okay fuck. Cum pretty fast again

So, most of my fucks are complete failures. Feels bad man.

>Hook up with girl in friend group I had sexual tension with forever
>Bust in fifteen seconds
>She gives it another chance
>Bust in thirty
>She fucks me again cuz now we're fucking sober and she might as well see if I can improve
>Get better and better
>Become a master wood layer (seriously)
>Make her my gf
>Bondage
>Rough, raw fucks
>We just had a threesome with a random tinder slut the other night

So, my advice: Try your best to get a fuck buddy. Be honest with chicks. Tell them you get nervous and that it'll get better if you can relax. It sucks not being able to be the man, and it sucks thinking about her telling people you're a pussy, but its better than being a weird fucker who makes stupid excuses. Get some practice anon. Fuck it, get some practice on some less attractive chicks. Just fuck a lot and you'll get good at laying wood.
>>
>>35944755

Also, just saw the boner pills posts above. I also recommend using them to get momentum. I did when I first starting hooking up with my girl. Pop one in before you leave the party/bar, diamonds 40 minutes later
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>>35944725
It'll work, believe me. It works for old guys with physical problems, it'll certainly work for young guys with a mental block. I've used it for years because of anxiety. It's great for one night stands and when you're drunk - you can go like a stud.

The good thing is that when you are comfortable with someone the anxiety eases off and you don't need it really.
>>
>>35944684
Thank you my negro!

>>35944725
I know that feel.
All of my girlfriends were on the pill though so I really didn't have to use much condoms at all (I think maybe 10-15 times in all).

Don't really have advice apart from viagra/cialis though.. I mean how do you train for this shit? I don't think jerking off with a condom would help and it's not like I can pull fresh pussy everyday.. frustrating.

>>35944755
Thanks anon! I've had fwbs though and it's always just the first and maybe second time I'm not able to perform.. I don't know why.. but this really fucking sucks because every girl seems to think I'm boyfriend material but I really just want to get some ONS..

>>35944774
>>35944780

Thats what I hope.. don't know what fucking happens when I get searched at a club and they find stuff like this in my wallet though
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>>35944809
>Thats what I hope.. don't know what fucking happens when I get searched at a club and they find stuff like this in my wallet though

Almost every club will know not to say anything when they see the blue pill. Believe me.
>>
>>35944849
That's good to hear.. I'll definitely place an order.. I think this could really solve my problem
>>
>>35944809
Just don't take a whole pill - it'll blow your head off! Experiment, take a third of a 100mg pill and wait 30 mins. Watch some porn and you'll feel the difference. If you feel a little red and hot in the face, that's a sign it's working. It'll last for about 4 hours but I still feel the effects the next morning sometimes.
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>>35944574
Low T is a big cause of sexual anxiety, though, which Is why I recommended getting it checked. It doesn't hurt, in any case.
>>35944546
>>35944648

I know it's not popular, here, but seeing a therapist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy and anxiety will give you a lot of good tools to manage your anxiety, even if you're just anxious during sexual situations. That mounting anxiety feeds itself, and finding ways of managing and eliminating that snowballing effect can not only increase your quality of life, but also solve your problem entirely if you stick with it. If you want a non-Rx means of solving your problem, it's a good way of doing it.

Also, if given a choice, always go for Cialis instead of Viagra. It lasts longer and is much more pleasant in my experience.
>>
>>35944897
>Also, if given a choice, always go for Cialis instead of Viagra. It lasts longer and is much more pleasant in my experience.

Why/how? 20mg seems like a lot.
>>
>>35944933
I typically get the 10mg and bite off half. Works well for me.
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>>35944897
I actually already see a therapist, in fact I have an appointment tomorrow.. not a pleasant topic but I think I'm gonna bring this up, thank you
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>>35945012
Make sure they have a specialization in CBT. It really is the most effective psychological treatment out right now.

If they don't, you may want to find one that has that specialization. It works wonders.
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>>35944417

It could be all the alchohol that you had in your blood breh. When I get shitfaced, I can't get hard too.
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>>35944417
Dont drink as much you miserable cunt
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>>35945098
this was a fun sentence to read
>>
What's the difference between the effects of Cialis and Viagra
>>
>>35944897
Everything I read said that for recreational usage ONS situations Viagra or its generic is the safer bet.
>>
>>35944417

US Sources for Cialis? Bonus for very fast or overnight shipping.
>>
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>Tongue fuck booty
>Choke her with your dick
>Slap her face
>Pull her hair
>Choke her throat
>Chuck her around a bit

That is how you treat women in the bedroom.
>>
>>35945146
Thats actually what sex with my ex-gf was like + some face-sitting.. god I miss that.. but good luck trying all of that with a ONS
>>
>>35945136
Safer? How so? Can you elaborate?
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>>35945145
/fraud/. Most of the gear sites have cialis or viagra for PCT.
>>
That fuckin whiskey dick killed a fuckin fuck-relationship with a 9/10 for me. Stopped smoking and drinking hard after that. Could still beat the shit out of myself for being such a faggot back then. Thinking of having a emergency viagra in my pocket.
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>>35945205
Cialis is a much stronger drug that works 36 hours, taking that when you don't really need it seems iffy to me.
>>
>>35944417
>>35944418
>>35945214
Really fucking sucks man.. I hope I will get some motivation to better myself from this as well.. really need to cut back on the drinking.

She just texted me that all is good but I'm not really her type.. right.. after pretty much jumping on my cock.. fuck this, I hate this feeling.. why do girls have to be so mean? Hold me /fit/, no amount of curls have prepared me for this
>>
>>35945282
It's finde brah. We are all gonna make it.
>>
>>35945282
You are insecure if you're letting some random bitch's opinion of you shake you up so much.

Look up abundance mentality, start transitioning your thinking towards that end. It's not the end of the world, there are 4 billion women on god's green earth and the opinion of one should have no bearing on you as a man.

it's just a temporary setback, and what you have to do now is work towards treating yourself. In the short term, it's boner pills. In the long term, finding ways to manage your anxiety, become more secure in yourself and being able to let go should be your goals.
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>>35945282
dont feel bad, shes just looking to cover up for the fact in her head that by not getting a boner you didnt find her attractive.
its a self defense mechanism.
youll make it
>>
>>35945282
>>35945381
Also she is being extremely nice to you, man, letting you down very easily. She could be straight up bitching you out about your having a damaged dick and trying to make you feel like dirt. She's giving you both an avenue of escape from a shitty situation.
>>
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>>35945282
Can't hold it against the grill, senpai. I've done almost exactly like you when it happened to me, with the same results.

Look at it from her perspective, and it shouldn't be a surprise that she's unsure about you. Feeling wanted is insanely important for a grill when she's with a guy. Not getting it up is bad on its own, because she will feel partly responsible.
>Am I not hot enough to get him hard?
It gets even worse if you start with bullshit excuses, makes you look weak on top of it all. If you had been honest and told her about being nervous it might've ended differently, because she could relax with the knowledge that she's not to blame (lel), while still respecting you for being straight anout it.

Get some emergancy viagra you'll never have to worry about it happening again. Just knowing that even if you get a whiskey dick, you can fix it, will put your mind at ease.

Also what >>35945408 is saying. If she wanted to, she could be a real bitch about it.
>>
>>35945295
>>35945381
>>35945390
Thank you guys.. yeah I know I'm pretty insecure and this really shouldn't affect me as much as it does.. I'll definitely look up abundance mentality but I've honestly already read a lot of pick up stuff and it's pretty hard to really get this mindset into my head.. guess I'll have to keep trying though.

>>35945408
She is.. she's actually a really cool girl, thats why it bothers me all the more.. but I guess whats done is done.. I'll try to learn from this mistake and move on.

>>35945425
Fuck man you're absolutely right.. I really don't hold it against her, it was just my autism but it still makes me pretty sad


Thank you though /fit/, you guys are really a great community, didn't think I would get this many encouraging replies
>>
>>35944535
29 yr old here, best advice i can give you is stop focusing on bein good in bed or gettin it up, instead focus on the feel of the girl or guy (no homo) and focus on gettin your nut on. Fuck on focusing on the other person getting theres, if they want to get off they'll try like you are. Remember, you aint in a relationship with these one nighters so why care about them getting off. Most of the time chicks wont get off all white girl wasted like. If shit moves into a relationship then start givin a fuck, hopefully by then you'll get over your stage fright. Godspeed anons
>>
SAME BRO

brought an 8/10 nigress back to my apartment on saturday. Couldnt get it up. She mustve sucked my flaccid dick for a good 20 minutes before we finally gave up

I LOVE black girls. But every time i get one in bed this happens. Then the second she leaves my dick shoots right up

Was fuckin embarassing cause im a grower and its like 2inches while flaccid but over 6 when erect. Shes probly tellin all her friends ive got a microdick AS WE SPEAK
>>
>>35944493

I do this exact stack down to the dose once a month for about 3-4 days. I nofap during this period of time but I either edge myself or have my wife give me a long blow job (not to completion) every day. I drink an extra liter of water per day above my usual intake, and eat 2 servings of celery and pineapple per day. I also do 5x5second kegels 3 times per day year round, and I stop my stream once for a slow count of 5 whenever I pee unless I'm in a rush. On the end of the three or four day wait, I take a stack of yohimbe, Korean ginseng, and maca with even more pineapple. About 4-5 hours after that, my wife gives me a long sloppy blowjob wearing whatever I tell her to (sometimes we have sex for this, but bj works better). When I'm about to finish, she gets herself into position and I finish all over her tits, neck, and face. She then proceeds to lick me clean, wipe my cum off of herself with her fingers, and eat it. The load is porn-star tier in volume, whiteness, and velocity, with multilple ropes. Overall, I'd rate the stack as pretty good, and I attribute some of my volume to it.
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>>35945548
Shit man, black girls are hard to come by in germany but it's one of my fetishes.. I know what you mean.. after getting home I jerked it 5 times in a row but couldn't get hard when it mattered... how fucked up is that?
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>>35945390
truth

>>35945408
also truth

>>35945543
I'm good in bed bruh, real active and confident. It's just getting hard and slipping into that rubber that sucks. Also, I'm a cursed cutfag which is another setback.
>>
>>35945601
>>35945548
stop. jerking. off.
stop. looking. at. porn.

I'm saying this to myself as well, desu senpai
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>>35945601
> GERMANY
> YES
>>
Sounds like you got whiskey dick man, it happens to the best of us. Either drink less or invest in some viagra if its that bad.
>>
>>35945621
I understand noporn but I really don't get nofap.
I mean getting off by using your imagination should actually help you getting hard when in my situation?
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>>35945470
>I'll definitely look up abundance mentality but I've honestly already read a lot of pick up stuff and it's pretty hard to really get this mindset into my head
As for abundance mentality, just don't put all your eggs in the same basket. Spread the risk. It happens naturally when you're talking with several girls at the same time. If it breaks down with one, you won't lose your shit because you have 4 more lined up.

>>35945543
I can only speak for myself, but seeing the girl squirm is what I like the most about sex. If they have a good time, they'll come back for more later as well.
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>>35945641
I think the theory is that you're still using pornographic-type imagery in your imagination after years of porn.

nofap is supposed to be a reset, I guess.
>>
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>>35944417
>get pretty drunk
if that is a common denominator to most of your stories than the issue is most likely the booze friend.
>>
>>35945621
>>35945659
If you're trying to last longer, doing no fap wouldn't help.
You have to practice edging and all that crap to teach your dick not to spurt in seconds.

I think the idea of nofap was to cure porn addiction and make redditers feel good about themselves.
>>
>>35945659
that actually makes sense, thank you

>>35945687
It is, but even sober I encountered this problem

By the way guys another question... what do you think about getting a hooker after I get the cialis?
I've never been to one but it's legal and I live like 10 mins from a brothel.

I would be very fucking anxious to go, but if that works any ons should work too right?
>>
>>35945610
Open your condom during the foreplay leading up to you sliding in, take your time if you need to, im forever cut fag too, those trojan ultra sensitive pleasure condoms are good feel, try magnums as well, you dont need to be an 8x6 bruh just gotta have a bit of girth. You might just be depriving your dick of blood flow with your condoms. Have the chick tickle your gooch, that will keep you diamond.
>>
>>35945641
with nofap your test does increase over each day. the most efficient way is to fap once every 7 days.
more test in your body= harder dick.
>>
>>35945697
I think most of this thread has the other problem - they can't get hard or stay hard. Forget shooting too soon.

We're all porn addicted. If you don't believe me, go 4 days without porn.
>>
>chick I barely know booty calls me
>im buzzed, she's hot, why not
>get over there
>we don't even talk and just start fooling around
>i have literally zero emotion for this girl, like less than plenty of chick i've never talked to
>she'd hot but I can't keep it up

It's like without the thrill of the chase or the comfort of familiarity I don't even want to have sex. Am I low T?
>>
>>35945723
It should work but sex with a hooker is mechanical at best. At worst: they don't kiss, they're disengaged, they don't like you (or they act like it but you know it's all an act), etc.

With a ONS or a GF or a fuccbuddy you're at least with someone who wants to be with you.
>>
>>35945762
No, just normal. Lol
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>>35945729
Actually I'm between a magnum man and not. I felt like my box of magnums was cursed so I went down to ultrathin trojans, they work sometimes/often. Some random durex ones were so small and tight they constricted my dick, ugh those sucked.
>>
>>35944513
This, you just fool around all night until you sober up some and shes practically begging for it and then just fuck her
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>>35944418
V I A G R A
I
A
G
R
A
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>>35945470
Fake it till you make it. You successfully got a girl in bed, you will be able to do it again. She's not going to be the last, not even close, and so the disappointing her will not translate to any real future repercussions.

Spinning plates theory nigga. Never become invested in one woman in any meaningful way unless she has proven herself worthy of that investment.
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>>35945756
>We're all porn addicted. If you don't believe me, go 4 days without porn.
I'm not arguing that. I know I'm addicted.
I was giving my input as to why people nofap. The reddit remark was just a jab at reddit.

Also feel bad for you guys that can't get it up. Just go in it with the mindset that the woman you're with is probably just as nervous as you are about preforming well.
>>
>>35945782
Durex=never again, trojan used to make some non latex poly blend condoms that were god tier back in the early 2000s but i havent seen them again.
>>
>>35945771
Get an extra $200 in $5 bills if you got extra cash to blow, hookers will work extra hard if you throw more money at them during sex. Foreplay with a hooker=more $$$
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>>35945786
Honestly I feel there is a point where fooling around without escalating further doesn't work anymore.. at least not if the girl isn't SUPER into you

>>35945795
Thank you man. Even if I currently don't believe it, it's still good to hear it. I logically know that there could be others girls but somehow there's always this nagging fear.. all these replies so far made it better though

>>35945842
A hooker here is more like 30€/33$

I know this is not the best solution and I would much rather prefer a ONS or FWB sure.. but who knows when that's gonna happen. So far I've not fucked a girl since half a year... I probably should lower my standards a bit though.. but then again für 50 bucks I get a hooker thats way out of my league looks-wise.. damn I don't know
>>
>>35944417

OLD fart answering... You have to change your thoughts to get over the anxiety. I had the same problem many years ago, sexy as hell (9/10) woman but NO dick response.... After the third no action bed romp I was getting scared that I would never bang her... Hit up an old flame (6/10 but always lots of action)... on forth bed romp with 9/10 I knew this was it and just thought of her as a cheap easy fuck with no future... BANG I was a rock and from them on fucked her many times with ease... stop putting too much into it... most guys can easily fuck a 5-6/10 skank but freeze up on 9/10... just do not put her on a mental pedestal.. just think of her as you would a 6/10 slut... fuck because it is fun... use her and use her well... fuck her to satisfy yourself (just don't be a complete dick, she needs to get off a few times)... she will love you for it.
>>
>>35945887
Im sure you have at least one girl lookin at you, just take that for a spin to get over your dry spell, who cares what she looks like (to an extent)
>>
>>35945897
Thanks I appreciate the advice! Problem is I don't have this abundance in girls.. I'm 28 and have fucked 8 girls and all of them were ltrs or fuckbuddies.. in fact this was my first ons.. if you can even call it that.. so it's really hard to get into this mindset. I know what you say is true but it's just hard to internalize if you dont have that many options... god I sound like a whiney sad cunt
>>
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How do people just 'have' women make out with them out of nowhere

this never happens to me

this is now a swole-autist feels thread. you don fucked up OP.
>>
>>35945887
>Even if I currently don't believe it, it's still good to hear it. I logically know that there could be others girls but somehow there's always this nagging fear.. all these replies so far made it better though

You're catastrophizing after this stressful even. It's easy to recognize in somebody else because I do it often myself. Anxiety is a hell of a thing. As I said earlier in the thread, cognitive behavioral therapy is #1 you can do for yourself to alleviate anxiety symptoms.
>>
>>35944417
I kinda suffer from the same thing. I take half a viagra first time with somone new and from then on i dont have to drug it.
But if u wanna do it drug free just make sure ure attracted ie she gotta be really hot.
>>
>>35945984
Honestly, in my experience its a charisma, body language at the time and empathy connection, not too deep or too shallow of a conversation you have with the other person.
>>
>>35944417
Dude this always happens to guys when they're drunk. Alcohol makes it impossible to keep a good boner.
>>
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>>35946019

> charisma
> empathy connection

eh?

i'm autistic btw, at least my shrink says I am

I honestly think i'm going to go on elliot rodgers style rampage if this shit doesn't change I watch his videos for literally hours every day
>>
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>>35945984

If I only knew breh, sometimes it just happens.
>>
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>>35946045
>>
>>35946045
I mean it usually happens when you and the girl are drunk.
>>35944417
It's pretty normal if you are wasted man, its whiskey dick lol.

If it happens when you are sober, then communicate with the girl. Tell the fucking girl, just be like yo i get really anxious and its making it really hard to get an erection, then just eat her out so she leaves satisfied and usually she will let you try again and eventually you'll get over it.
>>
>cumming on your girlfriend

gross
>>
>>35945984
>How do people just 'have' women make out with them out of nowhere

I have had it happen several times... it is truly freaky... I am at a concert with my housemate and this 7/10 friend. I see a girl a few people over with some guy... we make eye contact... she leaves him I follow... she buy a drink at the bar I walk up to he rand say hi... she says laughs and says hi... we walk together to quite location next to wall talk and them start making out... we make out like crazy... concert ends and friend find me and her making out.. we swap numbers and become lover for the rest of that semester
>>
>>35944469
health is still in the board description in the rules
>>
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Senpaitachi!

>Match with thai tinder grill, literally my fetish
>Ask her out tomorrow with my thai speaking skills
>She says yes, what are we doing?
>mfw I have no idea what to say

What do? Haven't had any success when I just take grills out for coffee, so some kind of activity would be great.

>Coffee -> go play pool
GOOD ENOUGH?
>>
>>35945984
You know whats sad? 5 out of 6 girlfriends I had happened like this.. and I don't say this with pride because its not a good thing. Sure it's nice to be wanted but it basically means I'm just a fucking sissy who can't make a move.

>>35945985
Sorry I didn't reply, you're right and I tend to do that a lot. I'm currently halfway through behavioural therapy but my therapist doesn't strictly follow CBT I think.. but it's honestly still good, a lot of the stuff he tells me is actually pretty related to some pick up stuff, was kind of weird realizing that.
I will do some research on CBT on my own though, thank you!

>>35946014
I'll definitely give that a try, just placed an order for 10 cialis tabs to test it. This being on of the hottest girls I've been with this wasn't the issue though.. I feel like I wouldn't have been as nervous if the wasn't as hot.. oh well.

>>35946019
Also the girl being pretty drunk seems to help

>>35946044
I know, I know.. but some people actually don't seem to have that problem somehow.. while I even have it when I'm not drinking

>>35946086
Yeah I really should have don that.. god I feel like an Idiot for making a perfectly innocent situation into something awkward by coming up with a stupid lie.. but whats done is done, not gonna tell her now after she already told me I'm not her type.. that would just be weird

>>35946103
You actually followed her and said hi though, thats good.. I'm too autist to do even that with random girls

>>35946135
If she's attracted to you it shouldn't really matter what you do, sounds like a good plan though
>>
>>35946286
Ended up saying we're going to an aquarium to pet sharks. If she's not into that, she can go burn in hell for all I care. Aquariums are the shit.
>>
Heavy, wet kissing really helps me btw op
>>
>>35944418

Viagra

Or

Calm the fuck down and just enjoy sex. Get out of your head and into your boner.
>>
>>35946360
thats actually a fucking good idea for a date, nice dude

>>35946362
Yeah really turns me on too and we did plenty of that

>>35946440
yeah.. I'll try cialis and maybe the latter will follow.. I know that it really isn't something you should be anxious about but what can you do..
>>
>>35946360
Good call. If she doesn't like marine biology then she's not worth it.
>>
>>35944418

>talking about your ex
>not blaming the fucking alcohol

A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M
>>
>>35946461
I know.. how stupid can you be right? Don't even know why I thought that was a good idea
>>
You really sound exactly like me.
I'm always overthinking everything and extremely tense and nervous, it took me 3 months until I could properly get it up with my last gf.
I don't really have any solution but it's good to hear that I'm not the only one.
>>
>>35946459
real talk, every /fit/izen should keep this in mind.
>>
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>all these stories about girls going after guys

>cant relate

must be nice to be wanted

guess i'll just keep lifting
>>
>>35947154
>>all these stories about girls going after guys
>>cant relate

So start with a 5/10 girl... give her attention and time and she will chase after your bone.
>>
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>>35947154
Im here for you bro
>>
>>35947154
You need to get your shit together.

But you won't.

And that's why you fail.

Read books, be interested in thing, do something with your pathetic life. Not getting girls isn't the problem, it's the symptom.

Sorry anon, I'm just not in a good mood.
>>
>>35944417
Casual sex sucks anyway.
>>
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>>35947672
>Not getting girls isn't the problem, it's the symptom.
Legit wisdom, senpai.
>>
>gf of 3 years cheats on me
>she had an amazing body and I always felt relaxed around her
>her cheating and the ensuing conversations completely ruin me. she has apologized to death and said it wasn't my fault but that doesn't change shit.
>go out on the pull for the next few months after
>3 different girls and I can't get it up for any of them
>twice I was drunk, and the other I'd been awake for 24 hours.
>I have never had ed in my entire life and I think anxiety/depression has hit me on that
>tried viagra once on the 24 hour awake thing and it didn't do shit.

I've spoken to a mate that had the same thing happen to him, and he said it's just about getting comfortable with going on one night stands. Kinda sucks.

Just know that this shit is completely normal and a bunch of different dudes deal with it, once you're with someone that you are relaxed and comfortable with it won't be a problem.
>>
>>35947672

>Sorry anon, I'm just not in a good mood.

Don't apologize for things like this. Also, don't use your "bad mood" as an excuse. These are unattractive, beta "male" qualities.
>>
>>35947762
I'm not sorry I said those things, I'm sorry for not sugar coating it for your betacucks.
>>
Any supplements for horniness like the volume stack posted above?
>>
>>35947672

im fucking trying

maybe when my bodyfat gets low i'll look better to people, I know I can improve so im trying, not giving up yet.
>>
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>>35944417
>tfw broken dick

My cock is physically broken - yours is stress induced. Count your blessings cunt.
>>
This thread makes me wanna kill myself.
Thanks.
>>
>>35949793
Why would it do that
>>
>>35945788
>THIS
I keep one in my wallet at all times. If I'm ever about to bang a new girl, I pop it and fuck them like a pornstar. I get reputation sex fairly often because of it too.
>>
>>35946360
I honestly can't decide if that's mildly autistic or the best date idea of all time
>>
>>35952104
>>35946360
actually, I take that back, that's 100% rad. I need to find a place near me where I can do that. Thanks for the idea, anon
>>
OP try this:

- Change your psychological health, study how to become less anxious. I would recommen reading into mindfulness and meditation.
- Masturbate only to your imagination and less frequently. Avoid porn and boredome masturbation.
- When engaging in sex, stop thinking about your dick you egomaniac. Think about the body of the girl and how to please it and also tell her or show her how she can please you.
- If your dick doesnt work, dont bother. Just tell her its weird and you have no idea "maybe you can suck it to help me out". Seriously, girls will usually asume its their fault.
- Eat, sleep and exercise better.

Best of luck. And most importantely, believe you can get better and start noticing the postitive changes instead of thinking it will always be this way.
>>
>>35944465
How do I go kegels?
>>
>>35950181

Wait.... those are drag queens, right?
>>
>>35952584
They're not drag queens. They're full blown trannies.
>>
>>35945588
This reads like a parody of American Psycho
>>
any really general/quick tips on how to effectively eat pussy
>>
>>35944493
i take half of those. usually all in one sitting. but the numbers are pretty high. i take about half the dosages, and usually every other day.
be careful with zinc, over dosage on zinc can lead to brain issues

>>35945788
>>35944533
i've always been told that cialis is better. also that either one you take, drinking booze with it, like in a situation OP described, would lead to insane hangovers, just because of the way the drug works.

>>35945588
i've always wanted to try kegels, but never really committed to it. but every article out there says they are great.

i'd recommend for supplements:
l-arginine == bigger loads, increase feeling during sex
l-cartinine == lower refactor time, get hard quicker after cumming
zinc == increase test in body if body is at a deficit of zinc
ginseng == increase arousal, been told this takes several weeks to work though
iron == increase blood flow, iron deficit can lead to low energy leading to not getting hard

not going to give dosages because you should look that shit up for yourself just so you know what you are taking. don't need another vit K overdosing. also, try to work kegels into stretching or something..
>>
>>35953161
>be careful with zinc, over dosage on zinc can lead to brain issues

I take one zinc tablet a day. Once I finish my bottle, when should I stop so I don't get brain damage?
>>
>>35953235
just take them every other day if your actually worried.
>>
>>35944534

Link please?

I am you
>>
> I haven't seen any action whatsoever since my gf broke up with me half a year ago

awwww you poor baby, 27 year old KV reporting, get on my level faggot
>>
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>>35944534
I'm sorry maybe I'm too new where is the link for this?

US 27 year old male here and I have the same exact problem with a new girl.

Where is the link for cheap cialis?
>>
Ok guys, when I'm fucking I can last pretty long(45 mins+)

But I get really fucking tired of thrusting. And her being on top doesn't do much for me.


It sucks when I'm hitting her g spot and she's telling me don't stop and my muscles are fucking seizing

What exercises in particular will help with this?
>>
>>35953335
Not eally man but you made me worry so that's why I'm asking.
>>
>>35953409
mate if you have gone 27 years being a KV then it's nobody's fault but yourself

also, it's not too late
>>
>>35953496
i never said it was anybody else's fault
>>
>>35953505
I know, I'm just stating it so maybe there's a chance it clicks in your head that you need to make a chance asap
>>
stop watching porn you fucking loser

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHHyt6z0osA
>>
>>35954452
thanks, I'll definitely watch that!

Small update, talked to my therapist today and he basically said I shouldn't give such a big fuck about this. Up until the point where I told him I couldn't get hard he basically replied like 5 times "nice dude" - real cool guy.

I should view this as something positive and not as negative.. and he ordered me to approach women to lose my anxiety and get comfortable.. don't know if I'm that far yet though. Shit.
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