I need help /fit/.
First time posting, I'm a high functioning alcoholic but I drink every day. I smoke nearly a pack a day and I have no drive or motivation.
I'm skinny but not fit and I live in a filthy apartment.
I need help, what should I do?
Go to an AA meeting.
Ultimately you need to detox, get off the booze and the cigs, and on a 6 day/week lifting+cardio regimen, but we all know you don't have the willpower and discipline to keep at it for even a month.
Get your drinking and smoking in check. Trim your hair and your beard. Start walking daily. Once you've done those start looking at your diet and start lifting weights.
The only motivation you have is from within yourself. If you actually want to stop being a degenerate you will make it happen. Otherwise you will just half ass it, make no progress and wind up a fat sad 45 year old man with a failing liver and poor life.
You already know what you need to do. You're coming here because you don't want to just start doing it. That is why you will fail.
Get your shit together.
Because it's the truth you already know. Go to AA if you have to. They're gonna tell you that you need God to overcome this.
You are God. You control your actions and your life. You don't need to be saved by a higher power. You just need to commit to a goal. That means no going out to bars. Not hanging out with people that influence you to drink. You need to start taking the small steps to getting your life together.
>Go to an AA meeting.
dont do that. AA is thinly veiled christian recruiting.
Keep a spreadsheet, and keep track of the following:
>how many cigarettes
>approx time of first cigarette
>how many drinks
>approx time of first drink.
obviously try to get less cigarettes and less drinks everyday, and keep pushing the times as far back as you can.
its not even like the 16th most effective treatment program. one of the tennants is admit your powerlessness or something total betafag christian bullshit. no turn your own life around get good at guitar or something.
I'm also high functioning m8. got over my cocaine addiction with choice some advice
every time you think about a cigarette or alcohol, make fun of yourself in your head. Call yourself a faggot bitch and laugh at how pathetic you are for honestly listening to your BODY about putting this expensive poison in you
it got really easy to quit when I realized how much of a joke of a person I was
Everything starts with one choice. You made a choice to pick up your first drink, and you made a choice to light your first cigarette. Now, you need to make a similar choice to put down your last drink and put away your last pack of cigarettes. Don't fall for memes like AA, cold turkey is statistically just as effective and it's not a cult.
nah m8 you won't fail but just remember that you're literal human trash if you even think about alcohol on Friday, let alone drink it
you're done with that shit because you're intelligent enough to know it's shit
dude just find a guy that'll sell you weed and get a girl that'll smoke it with you
you're fucking forget about alcohol so quickly
just don't then get addicted to that new lifestyle
You will fail. You will fail many times in your life in many facets. You've got to want to improve your life.
Take small steps. Keep track of what you're consuming and taper it. If you've been drinking heavy for a long time daily just going cold turkey til Friday may not be the best way.
btw you piece of shit the point of bashing yourself for being a dick chugging bitch when you think about alcohol or cigarettes is to retrain the feedback loop in your brain that currently says vice=good
if you actively HATE yourself and ridicule yourself in those moments (because you're utterly useless) your brain learns quick that vice=bad
it REALLY helps to replace the feedback loop with a good feedback loop because you're a GREAT AND USEFUL AMAZING PERSON when you use your time for good stuff
I replaced cocaine with learning to sing and even though I'm mediocre, I used my time to do something constructive and set up goals (to give myself that positive dopamine rush when overcoming them)
nah m8 this is your first moment RIGHT now
You don't want to drink. Your mind is telling you that drinking is good but you just TOLD us drinking is bad. You KNOW it's bad. You're more intelligent than a dopaminergic feedback loop in your brain so tell it to fuck off and realize that you either have real goals and life or WANT real goals in life
You won't be able to drink because that feedback loop doesn't leave. The literature has already shown that it'll stay with you for decades. You can't touch alcohol again because you'll immediately slip back. You did the damage and now you gotta live with it.
I can never touch cocaine again and it honestly sometimes sucks because it really DID help with productivity, but I partied too hard with it and I know if I use it one more time then I'll use it two more times and three more times and I'll fuck my life all over again
since I quit cocaine I've sculpted my body into something I'm proud of, moved into a manager position at my job, and have held down a relationship with a great woman for longer than I could've imagined (longest relationship before was 3 weeks in college)
I know I'm not the same as other people and my goals don't fit the same as other people but I'm just so much HAPPIER knowing I'm accomplishing things I set out to do rather than systematically destroying my body and telling myself I liked it
Probably not. Most people that have it bad can't really do the whole drink on special occasion thing. It slips into things being more special than they are to excuse drinking. To I'll drink only on weekends. To I'll only have one beer a night. To waking up hungover and drinking a strong glass of vodka and oj while the coffee brews before you show up late to work again.
say it out loud right now anon
look in the mirror
"you're fucking useless"
then laugh at yourself
like legit laugh like the bullies laugh at the playground
but fucking force it and fucking sell it to yourself
if you want to drink, you're useless
you're fucking useless
I'm a recovering alcoholic myself, also fighting an addiction to weed and cigarettes. I've been clean for 2 weeks now, and already feeling much, MUCH better.
What should you do? Well, the answer is pretty fucking easy, you need to quit that shit.
Alcohol is fucking terrible... it affects both your body and your mind. I used to wake up in the morning hungover, feeling suicidal. Then I would fall back to sleep and remain in bed as long as possible. I quit because I was sick and tired... of being sick and tired. My appartment looked like shit and I never brought girls over because it was downright filthy.
You need to understand that you get drunk because you want to escape reality, or past memories. You need to realize that wherever you may be in your life right now, you are responsible for that. Your current situation is a result of your past choices and actions, and if you want to turn things over, you can't wait for something to happen, you need to act and set up a plan.
It's gonna sound cheesy, but motivational videos really helped me (and still do when I have cravings)
about quitting smoking
Good luck OP, I hope you find the strenght to change and improve yourself.
PS: cigarettes will be the hardes to quit. I suggest you fix your addiction to alcohol 1st. The first 3 evenings sobers are gonna suck, but after that the cravings go away quickly. Waking up fresh in the morning and feeling happier is good to nice, you won't want to drink anymore.
Also: join a gym. This will help with your addictions and overall well-being.
I would go to A.A.
even if it doesn't stick there is some good in there. mainly when you hear other people talk about how fucked up there lives are or have been....kinda puts it in perspective.
it did for me anyway. I'm 28 and have been sober for 2 months. it's not much but it's the longest I've gone since I was 16. I was high functioning for a long time until I just wasnt.
anyway you are still at a point where you can turn your life around. I finally stopped cause I knew I could be better then I am. maybe you can too.
also I know it's stupid and blah blah, but one day at a time
that was what I did too
I replaced my Friday/Saturday night partying with the gym
I made an obligation to be there EVERY Friday or Saturday except for legitimate other occasions eg Christmas
it really helps because lifting has its own addictive dopaminergic effect so you're not just trying to quit an addiction but replacing it
I stopped video games, too, because they weren't productive. Kind of sad because they were my identity from childhood until 25 and I still have a collection of almost 3000 games
You don't need to quit them because everyone needs relaxation time, but pick up other hobbies at the same time
yeah man I was the same, I remember being smug when a survey asked how much I played a week and the highest option was only 40+ hours
nothing wrong with video games but they really can go over the top
MMOs were my vice
Listen to this op. If you can't hold yourself accountable for your decisions find other people who will. At the end of the day you are the only one who has a say in what you do. Relying on a miraculous inner motivational discovery is the wrong way to approach this.
I half agree with this and half don't. Having other people to hold you responsible works for a little. Then it's a crush. He has to do this himself. Nobody can monitor him 24/7 to force him not to drink. And even if they did once they leave he will revert back. Getting support is important. But it all has to come from himself. There's nobody else. Anyone who says they cannot do it themselves alone truly does not believe in themselves and doesn't want it bad enough. Speaking as someone with a mental illness at the end of the day I have to want to do the things that improve my life. Sure the pills and the doctors can help give a push but they don't do shit if I do nothing to better my own life.
Take the reigns in your hand OP. My best friend is basically withering away due to alcohol and I've gotten to where we've almost physically fought due to it. I can't help him unless he wants to help himself. And sadly he doesn't. Don't be like that.
Stop letting a tiny part of your brain control your life. You've had the sapience to know you need to change, so accept that you're going to do it now before things get worse.
Think about what your ancestors had to do to get you here. They were, by necessity, successful. Thousands of years of warriors, conquerors, businessmen, and ladies' men put their entire livelihood towards you existing. They're looking down on you now and seeing a boy in his prime going down the opposite path. They're disgusted with what you're doing and who you've become. They're looking at you as another failed branch of their dwindling efforts. They've seen too many men continue on and get to the point of no return. Too many men who can't get back up.
You've taken a glimpse, today, at what you're life could be if you quit. The life that so many men died for. Don't take that for granted. They're depending on you to depend on yourself, so nut up and be a man your descendants will tell stories of.
I used to be an alcoholic. It is easy to quit. The problem is YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO. Once the actual decision is made and you know deep down it's the path you want to take, you will take it, and you will fo whatever it takes to get to where you want to be.
It's all up to you. So instead of coming to this place and whining about all your problems, figure out your shit, then DO IT.
You have the willpower, not the motivation.
Some other dude is boning your ex because you couldn't man up and take care of yourself. You have to do this or your life will always be shit.
throw away all alcohol, weed, and other drugs.
Get a gym membership.
Go do 6 100 yard sprints on your local grass field tonight.
Start going to the gym doing Starting Strength, or something like it.
Never buy cigarettes again.