You go back in time to the day before your first time at the

>>35806647
Wow anon great thread

>>35806647
For the love of god don't get involved with Melissa!....oh and learn proper form too.

>>35806647
Stop doing that meme ppl from the bb forums and do SL5x5

>>35806647
>What do you tell your past self?
Don't go to /fit/

don't ignore her, you'll regret not taking advantage of the opprotunity

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>>35806647
Go to the fucking gym as soon as you get into highschool. You'll be more confident, look better, and won't become degenerate.

Please don't fuck that whore though. I know we don't, but don't give into her.

SS + GOMAD

It's gonna rain tomorrow.

do SS. read the book. do dips and curls
read this http://www.barbellmedicine.com/potpourri/584/

To all the guys recommending your past self to do SS, face it, you still wouldn't do it. No one wanting to look better is going to do a program that won't make him look better for months just because it's the most efficient way in the long run.

Squats. No oats.

>>35806647
1 hit of meth before a work out session is cheaper then one hit of coke before each lift. Save some cash man

READ SS YOU IGNORANT, ARROGANT, WEAK, FAGET

Man I wish I could tell my old self that

>>35806647
"You don't actually get that sore every time, it's just because you're not used to it. Keep at it"

>>35808221
dyel

>months
3 to 5 months mostly

>>35808396
So yeah that thing you really want to do, just do something else for half a year, ok? I mean it's easy as fuck for me to say because I'm past that and just reaping the gains now :) Enjoy being miserable fucko

>>35808476
Honestly a prosplit is most likely the best way to start a beginner off. They're gonna get gains anyway and at least they are gonna enjoy it enough to actually get into working out. A shitty routine you stick to is better than a great routine you fuck up every time.

I didn't do squats or deadlifts for like 6 months after I started working out because I didn't care about lower back and anything more heavy than the bar would hurt my shoulders squatting. Yeah my gains were sub-optimal but if someone forced me to do SS from day one I'd quit after a month.

>>35808567
dont say others shouldnt start with ss because you didnt like it. still the best beginner program.

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Always, always warm-up. Don't jump into your heavy weight sets to "conserve energy" or whatever other bullshit. (yes, I used to do this, and it led to many strains/snaps)

Don't move too quickly in weight with squats, observe absolutely strict form.

Don't let your muscles get unbalanced or grow asymmetrically.

Also, fuck Kalie and don't obsess over her for the next 3 years you moron.

>>35806647
Dont go past 4 scoops

>>35806647
Not to poison my body with carcinogens and antinutrients from meat, fish and dairy.

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>>35808618
Literally nobody likes SS tho. Its great if you can stomach it but goddamn its one of the most dull and repetitive programs out there.

I'd say to keep eating a lot.
Keep fukken eating, pay the bills for it, cut out on other shit

Stop barbell benching and use dumbbells. Barbell is shit for building actual pecs

>>35808745
>dumbbells
not gonna make it

>>35808745

I always go out of my way to tell the newbs that working incline dumbbell press into their routine is essential for aesthetic pex

also, fuck decline, don't touch that shit

>>35808116
Are you me?

>>35808759
I could bench 3pl8 but my chest was shit. I used barbell because of football. But since graduating I use mainly dumbbell and my chest is twice as big now

>>35808767

incline grows pecs because retards cant bench properly(bar starts over eye sight and descends to sternum). They just go straight down and up and not diagonal.

If you replicate that movement with db's on an incline, or even an empty bar, you will see whats going on and activating pecs.

My only advice would be to stay off fit. you guys are truly cancer, but it made me a great lifter and skeptic at least.

>>35806647
dont stop going. nine years from now you're going to finally start going and seeing some nice gains, and you're going to regret your constant NYR cycle for the past near decade.

>>35808476
>that thing you really want to do

Don't give me that bullshit. Any beginner starting on brosplits don't have a clue about what they "want to do". They just want a beach body. Mostly end up training arms every time and doing 6 types of curls.
After a year they all look the same: some lats, some triceps, some chest and overdeveloped guns. No back thickness, no traps, no big delts, no lower body.
And no lower back so they fuck up their shit anytime IRL have to lift something actually heavy cause most times trying to lift it with arms power.

Been there dude, I was 18 a shit tons of years ago too.

>>35806647
"stop eating like shit you faggot youre just wasting your time"

>>35806647

Do not despair, you're going to make it.

>>35808802

I really don't understand what you're trying to imply here

You think you can replicate an incline press 1:1 on a flat bench?

>>35807820
Actually this

grow, grow, GROW!

>>35806647
Just kill yourself now, being shredded doesn't kill off the deep deep depression.

>>35806647
lol do you even lift?

>>35808802
You fucking idiot, if you were supposed to do that you wouldn't be flat benching in the first place, you'd be inclining.

There is a reason lifts are performed in the direction of gravity.

>>35806647
one day you may

>>35806647
>Read SS
>do only barbell compounds
>learn the oly lifts
>learn proper nutrition

Oh anon so the internet is not there yet? Well fuck you then. Enjoy your machines brosplit as no info is available.

>>35808846
This. One of the main benefits of SS (if you read the book) is that it gives you some basic knowledge on lifting weights and helps you understand what you really want

>>35808759
Actually, Rippitoe says dumbbell chest work is Godly in the book

>>35806647
Work on your shoulders most of all
Avoid Sarah
Slav girls really aren't anything special

>>35809864
Oh, and you ship off to Parris Island on Sept. 19, 2016, two years from now, so better get /fit/
also, stop going to /b/ and start going to /fit/

>lauren is fucking multiple other dudes, break up with her and rail all those girls you want to rail.
>lift legs and shoulders more
>eat way fucking more.
>dont stop lifting for months at a time you dumbfuck.

I would say

> lower faggot

>>35806647
Hello Anon, there's a thing called Bitcoins.

BITCOINS

Buy them. For all your money. Get a job, and buy Bitcoins with every paycheck. Start selling when it reaches 1000 $ per coin, it will peak at 1600. Don't trust MtGox

All you others are scrubs who don't know how to make it.

I know you didn't lift for her, but she is the greatest thing that will happen to you in your near future. Don't let her go, you will be much happier with her in your life.

stop wasting your time with these absurdly heavy weights. you don't have the genetics for power lifting, or olympic weight lifting.

focus on endurance training.

Powerball numbers

>>35810361
>>35810311
There we go

>>35806647
>don't bother, become a tranny instead

I tell myself to diagnose zyzz his heart condition and save his life

>>35810390
Cmon, this was a shit thread from the start, and you know it.

>>35810780
No arguments there

>>35806647
Kill yourself right away, lifting won't change shit

>>35806647
Gym trainers don't know shit, don't waste 9 months on a brosplit

>>35806647
Don't do a hundred reps you fucking retard.

>>35811272
pretty much

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>>35808648
>next 3 years
>3
>years

ouch

Don't touch vidya.

NEVER EVER QUIT WORKING OUT.

Treat your mother like a goddess, you'll have so many regrets.

Weather out the hard times ahead. Nothing can stop them. Just keep that head up and push through it.

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>>35808723
>Getting a bigger Deadlift, Bench, Squat and OHP every day you hit the gym is boring.

What kind of faggot are you? Everytime I go in to Deadlift or Bench I'm super fucking hyped to break PRs. How is doing fucking bicep curls more fun than smashing PRs and see milestones come closer and closer after every workout?

Keep your wallet on yourself at all times.

>>35806647
How to fucking squat properly. Spent 6 months not squatting because I had a mixture of shit form and bad knees (Lifting + fixing the former fixed the latter anyway) and stupidly listened to some faggot that the leg press was an acceptable alternative to squats. Finally just started squatting, the muscles feel so much different. But my progress is slow as fuck, I can't even squat with 40kg on the bar. I think it could be because I'm going too low, but I honestly don't know.

I have to find that out before I go tell him.

Ditch the girl

Do a different uni degree at a different uni

Give myself a routine

>>35806647
get on dutasteride right now

>>35806647
Eat you fucking pleb

Don't buy those weights off craigslist.

>started 1 year ago
>my first huge fuck up happened 4 years ago, followed by another huge one 2 years ago
Whatever man.

>>35806647
For me that was two days ago.
I would tell myself not to drink so much vodka last night or I'll be up vomiting on my bed for hours.

>>35806647
Spend every penny you own on milk, invest in milk stocks, buy fridges to put the milk in, buy a cow

>>35806647
Don't fall for the korean girls meme, she's not worth it. Also when your friends suggests a Chinese cartoons image board say no

>>35808237
i can confirm this

Drop the weight and fix your fucking form. I had shit form on diddys and squats for almost a whole year and wondering why I couldn't progress in weight.

>>35806647
Read the fucking sticky

>>35808116
RETARD THE OP'S HYPOTHESIS IS THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO YOUR FORMER SELF THE DAY BEFORE YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE GYM YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR FORMER SELF TO GO TO THE GYM SOONER BY DEFINITION MY FUCKING GOD

>>35806647
kill yourself

>>35806647
there are swaths of girls in highschool that would totally gobble your goo. keep working out and be a little more outgoing to faggot.

>>35818962
oh and if a girl suggest you watch porn together she doesn't mean so for fun - that means she most likely wants to fuck you; you fucking autistic sperglord.