Morning Routines

>wake up
>turn alarm off
>lie in bed checking the clock every 30 seconds until I really need to leave
>get dressed
>pee
>drive to work

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>>35724377
Is that hair on his leg? He has all this shit he does, but he only shaves his upper body. Pleb detected.

>>35724377

i thought about making this thread a few times but i was always too lazy to greentext the bateman routine

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>>35725014

Does Bateman go to a gym? Or is the shit he does in the morning the only thing?

>>35724377
>being awake in the morning
Wageslave detected

>>35724377
>itt: /fit/ still can't get laid

>>35725068
you could probably just google it bruh

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>phone alarm goes off
>try to convince myself not to masturbate
>masturbate
>get up & make breakfast
>check my ongoing chess games on the computer to make moves while eating breakfast

>>35725099
Congratz for being autistic, and living paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't live with that little of pay, and I actually like going to work and hanging out with people.

>>35725113

i didnt know greentext versions of the routine exist

i always only found the full normal transcritped one

>>35725133

you like it like dogs like getting treats , you like pointless things like that because of pointless praise gets your ego built up. wage slaves btfo

>>35724377
Kek, what is this faggotry?
>phone alarm goes off
>browse /fit/ for 20 mins until i get both of my eyes open
>take a shit
>pee
>brush teeth
>quick fap in bathroom
>eat pizza or whatever

>>35725145
lmao thats what i meant, that would take 30 seconds bruh.

>>35725122
If G-d didn't want you to masturbate He wouldn't have invented morning wood.

>>35725150
no, i like traveling, eating good food, drinking, nice cars, and a nice house. This shit costs money. I'm living life how i dreamed it would be.

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>>35725183

i said i was just too lazy to greentext it

30 seconds lmao .. you think i have time for this in between my shit posts?

>>35725208
Lmao, understandable

>>35724377

Nix the exfoliating body scrub, body wash, and aftershave. They are doing more harm then good.

Source: I work in dermatology

>>35725190
Jew detected


PROTIP: Most observant jews do the fucking stupid G-d thing.

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>>35725177
>doesnt recognize the bateman routine
get out

>wake up between 4 and 6 am to fap
>go back to sleep
>wake up at 8 am
>make coffee and browse memes for 15 minutes
>brush teeth and shave
>go to class
>come back and eat breakfast

>>35725068
>>35725091
>>35725145
>>35725208
>>35725263
This isnt actually the bateman routine, this is my personal routine. I have implemented some of his into mine, but I find this works better for me. As I added pushups and squats and removed his weird mint facemask thing.

>>35725099
>>35725150
Its called being a decent member of soceity, not some Neet who thrives of being a disgusting selfish autist.

>>35725229
Why should I remove those? Honestly asking as I feel the body scrub and wash do wonders for my skin. They arent axe or old spice brand. I use aveeno and dove to make sure its safe as I have very sensitive skin. Im curious to know.

>>35725109
I get laid regularly from women at my college, and through tinder and hot or not. If I was worried about getting laid I would have asked what to do to get girls to like me. That isnt the case. this is simply for my own personal health, hygiene, and state of mind of being at my best to attack the day.

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>wake up at 6
>overwhelming urge to kill self
>sleep until 6:40
>make coffee
>shitpost on /v/
>overwhelming urge to kill self
>listen to music to soothe my anxiety
>leave

shit desu senpai.

>>35726149
If you have sensitive skin then you really need to stop it. Exfoliation just means you're scrubbing layers of your skin off, layers that help protect your skin.
You do not need soap anywhere besides where you make smelly oil, like your feet, groin, and underarms. The rest of your body is good with just water and your hands cleaning it.
You stop that stuff your skin wont be as sensitive or as dry. Aftershave... aftershave doesn't do anything besides dry your face out and smell good. It serves no real purpose.

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>wake up at 6
>overwhelming urge TO GET BIG
>take 6 SCOOPS
>make ALLDAYUMAY preworkout
>eat some REALFOOD
> arm workout until 7
> 4 more scoops
> eat 5 more tubs of REALFOOD blended with 12 sacks of MUTANT MASS
that's how I start my day guys
any tips

>>35725014
>>35725122
>>35725177
>>35725306
>>35726186
Its never to late. Even just the smallest changes to your hygiene routine will make you look and smell at your brsy. And that confidence will radiate into everything you do. I believe in you. You are all going to make it.

>>35726196
I have allergies and eczema, so i mainly try to clear up my acne and keep my skin smooth. desu im gonna drop aftershave and simply apply a thin lotion. Thank you for this info senpai.

>>35726234
*best. mah bad

>>35726233
youre my god damn hero. Maybe add in a synthol cleanser and a CMON facial scrub. Finishing your routine with a blend of 51/50 and killit lotion to your dick...which OBVIOUSLY hangs lower than your balls

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>>35726234
anon please tell me fastest way to combat/prevent water retention above/under eyes. Eyebags, swollen eyelids, whatever man, I fucking hate looking like a 6/10 after eating a couple slices of pizza, what's worse is that if I eat clen one day and have no water retention (9/10) I get a ton of girls mirin, but some tacobell later and next day no girls mirin
HELP
E
L
P

>>35726234
Yeah, allergies, eczema, and acne. No fucking scrubbing either. Get yourself a lotion that is thick; something out of a tube or jar, if it can pump out of a pump bottle, it isn't good enough for you bro.

Less soap helps eczema a lot too. Plus you will spend less money. Your routine costs a lot more money then it needs to.

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>>35726255
How do you sleep? I constantly try to lay on my back, but I always find myself rolling over onto my face. Blood pools in there the same was as if you just got a massage or you were hanging upside down.

I find the following to help with have a tight firm face with no bags; Fruits high in vitamin C, 8 glasses of water a day, frequent trips to the sauna, cold showers or even warm showers over hot. And if you wake up with a puffy face, an ice pack mask or just any old ice pack for 10 or so mins will bring swelling down. I also use an eye roller twice a day to nourish under my eyelids to remove bags. Pic related

Godspeed senpai, godspeed

>>35726267
I only scrub when Ive been working a long day or feel too dirty or oily or sweaty. Il be sure to cut down and stop. I use body butters and creams over lotions, although i find they take a while to dry and if im rushing to work, it almost stains my clothes. I use lotion in the morning and creams and body butters at night.

>>35726282
I sleep on my side because if I sleep on my back I get sleep paralysis and I'm not looking forward to having the ghost of zyzz haunt me while scooby laughs at me. No sauna so would lots of cardio help? It's literally just my eye area (upper eyelid and eyebag) that get puffy from sodium. Thanks for the vitamins tho, definitely getting me some more orange juice

That's a nice routine you got going there OP.
Can I ask what time do you go to sleep? cos I need at least 8 hours of sleep to feel awake the next day, and I have a bad habit of staying up late, which basically means I don't have much of a morning routine.

>>35726317
Most gyms or even public pools have a sauna. Swimming is great cardio, but the chlorine might have an effect on your skin. I recommend going at least once or twice a week. I personally go as muc has I can (after every gym session) when im cutting. Once again keep sucking back that water as much as you can and get that sodium out of your system.

Even a brief facial massage done by yourself can help. But definitely avoid sodium. People dont give it too much credit, but its one of the worst things for your body.

>>35724377
>so many products
literally why

just use strong handwash for your face like a man

>>35725044
Idk where you're from but here shaving legs is a girls thing

>>35726340
On nights where I have 8am classes the next day or work in the morning, I try to be in bed for 10, and asleep by 11. Giving me roughly 7-8 hours of sleep, and if im lucky il throw in a nap here or there.

Personally my sleep routine involves a night shake, and a little fruit punch mixture i make (about a glass) of aminos, creatine, and Arnold Iron Dreams. Yes im aware its a meme supplement, but in my personal experience that shit works and its cheap as fuck.

I have a bad habit of watching BBTD or Lets Plays as I fall asleep so be sure to download the program f.lux. It adjusts your screen to give off better lighting to promote sleep, as bright intense white light can keep you up. Its helped me achieve greater sleep and i even feel more recovery due to the deeper sleep.

Thats all I have to say about that. Simply take the time to turn yourself off (perhaps guided meditation or reading) and commit to falling asleep and you will do just fine

>>35726375
Meh, ive grown up with terrible genetics of having to take allergy medication, eczema creams and more growing up so im used to it. For some just splashing water works. But ive become addicted to achieving perfection when it comes to my skin and hygiene. Whatever works for you might not work for some.

>>35724377
Is it okay to exercise after not eating for 7 hours?
I always thought you should eat breakfast and wait at least 30 mins - 1 hour

>>35726416
Its light exercise. All bodyweight movements and it should only take you about 10-15 minutes tops. Its a great way to kick off your metabolism in the morning and start the day awake and ready. It wont kill gainz or anything like that. Thick of it as fasted cardio as you performing this exercises at a good speed. Obvii keep form in check tho.

>wAke up, time varies depending on class
>grab newspaper from front lawn
>whip up coffee, eat breakfast and read paper
>shit after breakfast
>study school work or read philosophy before class

>alarm rings
>don't wake up

>>35724377
>start some oats
>drink coffee/tea
>check my email
>have a poop
>eat
>gym
>work

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>wake up around 5am
>throw on gym clothes, drink a bunch of water, take BCAAs and carnitine
>do fasted cardio or weight lifting
>come home and chill out before work, have a moderate breakfast or shake

other times i do the same thing ill just have a small snack before i work out haha

i really enjoy my routine. i work from 11-4 so i like going to the gym and then working and having all the chores out of the way so i can relax the rest of the day. weekend sill sleep in a lil but still go to the gym within a few hours of waking up. :)

>>35726392
GL shaving half of your body.

>>35726566
I cant find the energy to hit weights in the morning, but sounds like a solid routine anon. Good on you for getting all that out of the way

>>35726584
hahahahahah
XDDD

>In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches.
>I can do 1000 now.
>After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion.
>In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub.
>Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.
>I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.
>Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

literal girls itt

stop being pussies and stop using bs products

>wake up
>drink bottle of water
>eat belvita biscuits and smash a 250ml V while driving
>go swimming for an hour
>come home
>shower
>go to work

>>35724377
you use way too many products and waste way too much time on completely retarded things such as triming your eyebrows.

on the plus side it's good you get up early to get your day in order.

>>35725207
):

>>35724377
>Get up roughly two hours before I need to leave the house
>Shower, deodorant, clean ears, shave
>Make coffee and three scrambled eggs
>Drink coffee and eat scrambled eggs while wasting time on the internet
>Get dressed, do hair, brush teeth
>Leave the house

>>35726441
>metabolism

>wake at 3pm
>read the news while eating breakfast for 30 minutes
>spend 15 minutes in shower, getting dressed, brushing teeth
>start the day

It's a hard life. I should start looking after my skin more though as I will look like a ghoul in 3 years time from too much partying.

>alarm goes off
>get up from bed
>plank for a couple minutes
>shower eat breakfast get out of house


I'm pretty lazy with ab exercises and have found this method good.

>>35724377
>wake up
>splash face with cold water
>brush teeth

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>>35724377
So no one is gonna point out that Bateman post got dubs?

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>wake up at 7
>first thoughts are of suicide
>get angry and go lift
>shower
>shake, oats, bacon, eggs
>browse /fit/ during breakfast
>deodorant, shave, cologne, brush teeth
>growing hair back out, so nothing to do with that, other than put a hat on over it
>go to work

>wake up
>drink anything with caffeine
>smoke
>go to gym
>have breakfast
>shitpost on /lit/

>>35725091
In the book he goes to the gym all the time. He does some ridiculous 2h sessions.

>>35724377
Wake up at 4 AM, masturbate,shower, get dressed, walk dog protein shake, play chess until 5:50, drive to the office

>>35725150
I like being able to fly across country for the weekend just to eat at a restaurant I wanted to try

Anyone else here get a dry scalp? I don't have a lot of hair (keep it short, but I've good hair) and there are always some flakes on the surface of my scalp. It isn't dandruff and it isn't extremely bad, just enough to make me feel as if I should 'fix' it.

Also my scalp itches when I sweat.

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>>35724377
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg, It ruins the fantasy.

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>>35729776

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>>35725099
Shouldn't you be picking up your government-issued NEET cheque or do they deliver it through direct deposit for you now?

Get the fuck out of here.

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>>35729776

> alarm goes off at 6:30 AM
> start the coffee
> check Google AdSense earnings while taking shit
> breakfast: 3 eggs + 3 egg whites and 1 cup of oatmeal
> throw 2 scoop protein into shaker cup, make a tuna, chicken, or steak sandwich with tons of veggies, plus a yogurt and other shit for my lunch
> fuck around for half hour
> grab steel toe boots, hard hat, and vest
> jump in the truck and drive to work
> get to work at 8am

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>>35729776
Damn, been a while since I've seen that pasta

>>35724377

>wake up around 5 am
>see the coffee that was made at 3 am, it's now cold as room temp
>pour 4 servings into a mug
>guzzle it, gag at how disgusting it is, but now ive got my caffeine dose over with
>take a piss
>drink half a litre of water
>lift if its not an off day
>guzzle some whey shittein and eat a small meal
>shower and shave to get ready for work if its a work day

>>35730001
Why do you hate life, anon?

wake up
turn on my bright ass light therapy light to help me not get depressed
sit under it and shitpost on 4chan and get depressed anyway