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Crush going to a yoga resort. What to expect?
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So got this girl, 28, working at her university and single, going to a yoga resort this weekend. What do they REALLY do? Has anyone had any kind of experience to a yoga resort?
Stop being insecure.
>got this girl
No, you don't and that's your problem. Make a move or kill yourself while she's fucked by other dudes.
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I hate to say it bruh but chicks only travel to get filled up with miles of strange, dark cock. Seriously, men travel to Thailand and pay to get laid, women just travel anywhere and get fucked like animals for free, any night they please.
This desu, OP's chick is getting pumped with yoga dick in about a dozen positions too flexible to achieve by the average man.

Getting cobra'd
She's gonna get fucked in a downward doggy position on the daily.
Seriously though don't invest so much energy on a fucking crush. That's middle school shit that doesn't' get you anywhere.
Are you fifteen or something? Forget about her if she still didn't suck your dick, because she will suck many there
shes gonna get fucked by lesbians with strap ons and flexible muscle daddies

shes gonna get pounded by lots of guys that are more ripped than you and have massive dicks
Yogi here, have travelled extensively to many different resorts.

If you have a traditional 'guru' he will most likely frown upon sexual relations.

But if you have one of the common teachers, it's very very normal for people to have orgies or otherwise hook up regularly. A mixture of the seemingly abundance of drugs, the fact that you see each other half naked all of the time stretching your body every which way, and a strange sense of 'closeness' makes the transition from doing an Asana together to fucking very easy.

She'll lie and deny it, perhaps claim she wouldn't do anything. But it happens almost every time, fit men and women who probably won't see each other again combined with what's mentioned above? They have intercourse, or as Lexi from Toronto said "Strengthen our root chakra simultaneously!"
She will come back pretentious and "spiritual" and will think that because someone taught her a few sanskrit words that she is the master of "life energy" and can connect with her true inner self. She might even be into astrology and will tell you about how her menstrual cycle is connected to an inner goddess. Then she will attempt to make you like her. She'll also be on a new fad diet (you may mistake it for an eating disorder at first, but you won't be in tune with your life energy like she is, so you won't understand) and will start wearing clothes that westerners designed to look like the garments of the eastern poor.
Where is the resort OP; I know a thing or two about the community and this is kind of important
pretty much my exgrill. find another one while she's gone and save yourself the trouble.
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mass orgy, your girl is gonna get bukkaked and have lots of cream pies. Sets of nuts are gonna be bouncing off of her clit as she's in the downward doggy position.

Greasy lips gonna be sucking and biting her tender titties.

Long tongues gonna be probing her sweet little butthole.

She gonna have all kinds of crazy bendy sex.

Man by the end of it, if she comes out pregnant the father could be any of dozens of guys.

Man her pussy is gonna be soo loose from all the beer bottle sized dicks and lesbian fists, she's not gonna know when you start thrusting until your nuts hit the anterior side of her pussy.

Dam son, I'm real sorry your girl is gonna be all used up she'll be like a chevy cavalier with 250k miles on her. Wow you might as well fuck her one last time and leave her, it can be your guys paris, like in that movie casa blacka (cause black guys gonna be fucking your girl).

>pic related

your girl gonna be pulling all kinds of faces like this when she is getting penetrated in the pussy and the asshole at the SAME time.
One more thing though, one benefit is that her skin will probably be really nice from all that moisturizing jizz that's gonna be piled on her face, piled on like building a sculpture out of used gum wads, except they gonna be wads of jizz on your girls face cause she gonna get that 100 guy bukkake challenge.
hey where this yoga retreat at anon?
She's going to do whatever she wants because she's single and you're just crushing on her while too effete to lock it down.
Back to >>>/pol/ with your cuck fantasies.
you just mad you aren't going to this yoga retreat to get a taste of that fine fine op's crush
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I saw some women on a hike chatting it up about being at a yoga retreat. We were all hiking up in Harper's Ferry, so it's a pretty gentle hike, but they wouldn't shut up, and it appeared that they were some sort of shallow imitation of real human beings.

I doubt your lady is doing anything crazy other than getting to know a bunch of women who have some very uninteresting lives, and are trying to 'spice' it up by hanging out and meeting like-minded individuals.

I don't think I ever wanted to hear that much about false fitness, men, or "OH MY GAWD, I LEIK TOTALLY LOVE OUR GURU, SHE'S THE BEST."
OP here,

Wow I did not expect so much replies so I guess I'll add more details. I am quite aware that women that love to travel often go for exotic cock. I do not claim she is an unicorn at all but from the hundreds of women I met in my life, she is the least degenerate and has the best personality from all of them.

>pic related, that's me
>5'8, 163lbs
>Bench: 225lbs x5
>Squat: Never really kept track of it but should be around 250/260lbs
>Dead lift: 300lbs x3 neutral grip
>Can reach level 12 in the shuttle test
>Can do FRAN in 6min
>inb4 DYEL

I know, those are not very good stats and no aesthetics but my focus is for my job. I started lifting seriously around 1 1/2 year ago and was borderline NEET so I don't think it's that bad.

Anyway, this is the whole story with me and this girl:

>be me
>21 y/o autistic kissless/handholdness virgin part-time baker/administrator/cashier at parent's bakery
>was a weak beta all my life, no real guidance (parents work almost 24/7), bad social circle (all arabs/muslims) and thought about suicide every day
>didn't want to kill me because my brother will be left alone and parents sure as hell don't deserve this

>meet cool black coach(35y/o) at a track and field club,
>trains high level athletes, including college football players, firemen, police officers and top 10 Canada track and field athletes
>literally become best friends with him, red pilled me on women, life, lifting, clothes, often goes out with me, helps me in every conceivable way
>he tried his best to teach me how to game women but often told me that I shouldn't focus too hard on it
She's gonna get gangbanged by a bunch of Chads at that "yoga resort"

So yeah you could expect that.
>chads at a yoga resort
Stopped reading at:

Kill yourself, manlet. That alone should tell you that she is going to fuck a 6'3" black man while she's gone
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>Girl in question comes at the gym
>26 y/o, 5'4 thick with long brown hair and green eyes, played high level softball and coaches a small team, works at her university as some kind of entrepreneurship teacher's aide, on her way to get her master, introverted, anxiety issues, hates clubbing/drinks/doesn't smoke/no tattoos/no piercings, lives with her roommate, a bit hippy, always willing to learn, loves bicycles, makes kombucha, loves to brunch
>didn't pay attention to her at first because started to read the red pill and kinda knew the basic concepts
>coach often pairs us together
>gradually, we start to talk to each other
>literally the first (and only) women to ever show me attention and interest

>one day while training, asks me what do I do in life
>panicked, I hesitated
>she quickly followed with: "You're kind, caring and in great shape. You must be a firemen or police officer"
>reply with "Y-yeah that's right! Mirin those gains? (lol)
>always thought going in the military/police/firefighter but did not want to disappoint parents (pressured me to go for an office job)
>coach saved my life and she gave me purpose
>she the one I lift for, as well as for my parents whom I'll take care of them when they get older and be a good role model for younger brother
>firefighter it is

>discover she has a bf but play it cool and continue to talk
>we brunch a few times together and have a good time over the course of 3months
>accepted into the firefighter academy
>did a beta mistake and bought her tickets for a WTA final, thinking it would get me closer to her

>months go by, we still text each other once a month
>February 2015, her bf leaves her
>another beta mistake, wanted to help, scheduled a date and the day of the date, she didn't feel right (was about to cancel)
>pushed a little further, starts to cry on phone and agrees
>go out to a nice quiet bar, talk and eyes watery and hug her because it was a shock for an autist like me
>get her home
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>don't really talk to her anymore
>we brunch even more rarely
>goes in a business trip trip to Israel

>August 2015
>invite her to eat sushi
>agrees and wants to eat all alone at her friends place (friend is in vacation)
>thought it was a sign
>had a great time, surprised me with a cake she made for my birthday
>try to make a move on her
>gently pushes me back, saying she doesn't let any kind of people enter her bubble
>drive her home

>few days later, ask her if she wants to know more about me and if not, how does she views me
>"you are a 2nd degree friend, meaning that I have childhood friends closer to me. You are smart and funny but I cannot open myself with you on other plans"
>don't reply
>she replies a few days later that she is sorry that she induced me in error and thought she made it obvious.
>reply sayin it was ok and prefer to leave it at a friendship level
>she says that she has a hard time getting over her ex and is focusing on turning the page

>go silent mode for 3 months
>she increasingly starts to like more of my stuff on facebook and tries to reach me
>am a bit more versed in red pill and make her chase me

>surprise text her
>literally answers in seconds/few minutes
>thought I built a good momentum
>invite her to eat out this weekend
>jokes a bit and replies me "Going to a yoga resort this weekend. In order to be more zen :) "
>reply with: ok. Tell me when you are freeing up your schedule. Until then

I don't know where she is going (am in Canada) but if it's for a weekend, should be pretty close

>pic related my car
Man up, move the fuck on.
She is going to get fucked. Hard.
>attaching the goosling in a beta cuck story
FFS op move on. Try to talk to other women jesus christ you made me sad reading that.
basically this

you're getting stuck in "the one" idea
She sounds autistic desu
Honestly this
>What to expect?
this guy
Do yoga i think not sure
>she's single
take her off the pedestal. It's for your own good.
TAKE 6 SCOOPS CMON>>35709596
Stopped reading this autismo. Just lift for den sick gains do do well in your job to make your parents proud. Get some bro friends and have a fuckken blastt
A girl who is not your gf is going on vacation and it bothers you? Get a life or get some pussy you big pussy. Over here going crazy over some chick out enjoying her life.

I can only assume you have been single for a really long time or probably never. Might even be a virgin obsessing over some bitch like this.
Thread replies: 38
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