>bald skinny white guy sporting an underarmor hoodie. Always makes sure to use the heaviest weight possible with the shittiest form.
>black guy who looks egyptian. Always doing incredibly slow reps on bench and mumbles about time under tension.
>that guy who is always occupying a mirror for an inappropriate amount of time
>he's been coming to the gym for 3 years yet still jas no idea what he's doing. Always asking questions and just seems eternally lost
>Murder of yoga Crows
Massive groupof yoga pant clad women that flock in at 5pm for yoga. They are always chattering random nonsense and laughing hysterically at nothing in particular. Like 75% of them are fatties
>The dyel team
Me and my friends
Really tall chick with a tonne of muscle. Also super long red hair
Wears a purple tank top. He's fucking massive, and looks kinda like a scaled down version of Bjorsson
A bunch of curlbros who are essentially the same people
Similar to the curlbros, but incredibly annoying and douchey
A group of teen girls who are skinny as fuck and keep whining about how they aren't "buff" yet
>Middle aged crew
A group of middle aged people who talk and hog equipment more than exercise
>Wanna be buff girls
Similar to the anorexic girls, but in their 20's. Managed to put on some amount of mass, and every 2nd one is actually hot
>That annoying couple that makes out by the entrance
My friend and her boyfriend. She lifts more than him
In my gym, only I and my brother really know what we are doing and we are still both dyels working for only a few months.
Then there's a group of teens, ages 13-16, who go to the gym daily if possible, are on a split and their form is terrible in most of the lifts. When benching their feet are often not even on the ground, which makes them fly from one side of the bench to the another, squat half-way down with relaxed core, their front-delt exercise with barbells is basically huge hip thrust with which they get the weight up and then it falls down without them ever using a single bit of muscle thoughout the whole movement.
They also do this amazing exercise, it's like deadlift but the barbell is BEHIND you. Yes, behind you, I don't know either, don't ask me. So now listento this: They get it up in a wobbly way, usually one side of their body being higher than the other and then, listen, THEN they fucking drop the weight like it's a mike and they just roasted someone's mum.
I don't think a regular gym would be able to take it or even allow it, so listen to this: the gym is located in local castle, building many centuries old, the room, or the castle itself, is in no way built for such activity and the town's mayor says that when someone drops the weight like that, the furniture in his room shakes a bit. Not only that, they are dropping it on this: wooden plank (with 2mm of rug on top) on a rug on a linoleum on a parquet block floor under which is some sort of concrete or just stone. So by the time they are done there're splitters EVERYWHERE and when I go to squat, I usually stab at least one to my foot. I have to always clean up a bit before squatting.
These retards also have some sort of fights there I imagine. One of them told me that two of them were cleaning up some space because they wanted to fight or what.
tl;dr: retards everywhere
Wow, almost forgot:
I asked one of the teens why they go to the gym daily (I mean, how much do you think someone can grow with 45kg benchpress?) and said that most beginner routines focus on strength and you go every other day.
He said 'Yeah, but I've been lifting for more than two months now...'
He literally meant that beginner's routine would not apply to him anymore.
My gym is pretty good. Many natty bodybuilders, a couple of juiced bodybuilders and a bunch of young guys (18-21) trying to get big without much of a base or knowledge but who aren't afraid to ask for (or take) advice from the more experienced guys. Besides the young guys there are a few middle aged men who are either ex bodybuilders or ex athletes, they're in varying degrees of good shape, but none of them are "fat old men" and a couple of them are jacked and shredded. There are also some 14-16 year olds doing sport specific training from time to time, which is cool to see (mostly hockey training where I live). Besides that, a few hot girls who compete in bikini, which is nice, and they're not really stuck up at all either.
The only annoying guys are the few rugby players who come in. They're all fat as fuck, lift with shitty form geared up the gills, they're loud, they take up a lot of the benches in the dressing room, they make messes and don't rerack their weights. Thankfully they don't train that frequently, fucking fatass pieces of shit, so we don't have to deal with them much.
All in all, good gym, great group of people.
DYELs might mistake a hack squat for a "Deadlift with the bar behind them", especially if done by clueless teenagers with poor form. Not a bad exercise for a quad pump though, don't discount it entirely just because some clueless kids are doing it.
Regulars that I hardly see together, mostly I go in and it's just one or two of these peeps.
3 dyels that I see all the time, once the fat one was on his own, without his crew and was flexing in the mirror shirtless when I came in. He put his shirt on and left immediately afterwards.
Guy who does a million variations of tricep exercises, close grip bench, bench dips, skullcrushers, tricep pulldowns, tricep kickbacks, tricep pushups. Never see him training anything else. He has a bald spot on the back of his head, in a spot that makes me always wonder if he knows if he's balding or not.
6'5"ish and 6'8"ish skeletal dudes messing around always doing shrugs and bent over rows, the other day one was mirin' when I failed a highbar squat, said he would offer to spot me, but he can't lift that kinda weight anyway
>Don't rape me
There's elusive azn and blonde chick that only appear when the gym is completely empty, and work out on their own with headphones on, I've never seen the two of them together. As soon as I go through the door they pack up and leave.
>Don't go, bls... I just want someone to mire my lifts
I go to the gym at 12-1am usually.
Huge natty powerlifter, like 240+ pounds. Always wears Animal shirts. Have seen him perform a 1500lb total in the gym, none of which were singles.
Guy's name is Eddie, and he sweats like a monster. Pretty big guy, will literally leave puddles of sweat behind as he works out.
Girl who's always there when I go hours that are unusual for myself. She has a smoking hot body, but is a total butterface. I think she may be lesbian or bi.
Another powerlifter, this guys is about 5'7, but is a 205. He's middle aged, strong as fuck and nice as fuck, and will talk your ear off if you let him.
I may have a girlfriend but this one makes me question my morals. She's about 5'6" brunette, and has a tattoo down her side you can see because she wears cutoffs. Also I know she works in medicine because I watched her come in wearing scrubs one day.
Old guy, maintenance guy at where I work, also one of my coworker's dad. Knows everybody, yells across the gym at people to shutup. Every day is chest and arms day. Always see him do the incline bench hammer strength machine and load up 4+ plates.
>the guy who's been doing body weight exercises for the past 3 months
>the 250 pound black woman that walks slower than a slug on the treadmill
>that woman who always takes 10 minute rests between sets texting her friends
>that guy who brings fitness magazines to the gym and reads it while he's working out
>that guy in jeans, a hoodie and baseball cap who does nothing but curls
Why do i feel a need to masturbate to those images, not out of hornyness, but because they're too good( i mean, look a those thighs)? Should i masturbate? Once again, i'm not horny, but this woman is too hot. Is this healthy?
One of these is me. Probably won't be hard to guess.
>Spandex Steve and his Shithead Circus
Over 50 trainer at the gym. Uses low to no weight. Comes in with his own yoga mat, resistance straps, bosu ball, etc (all of which the gym supplies anyway). Does circuits of bodyweight contraption crap. Refuses to spot anyone (which led me to deliberately doing the roll of shame onto him one time).
>Curlbros and their leader, Marshmallow man.
Some curlbros. Their pack leader is a 5'6" marshmallow that insists on slamming all his baby weight lifts.
>Panthro and his pack
Super jacked black dude and two others. Total bro. One of the few reliable spotters and super knowledgeable.
Super jacked hispanic dude that starts well, then starts half repping at his limits. Pretty smart, good spotter, I'd call him on his form, but I get the funny feeling he don't care, just wants to be big.
Name is because no one is sure if he's gay or straight. Ripped mode, wears short shorts (I think they're Marine skivvies) and lip syncs/dances between sets, but I've caught him staring at cardio bunny ass. I'd laugh, but he's the heaviest lifter in the gym.
Greasy nerd guy who lifts in dress shoes and socks (I assume he's lifting on his lunch break). Making gains and I'm secretly rooting for him.
>Oh look, another female who thinks that only ass is important.
Some black girl who comes in and does only bodyweight exercises (takes up a bench and rack space for it) and leaves. I think I scared her off by dropping a 110 lb dumbbell when she felt the need to do her exercises between the benches and the weight rack.
>that guy who is obese as fuck but still does 90lb weighted dips
>that small skinny middle aged guy who talks to himself and squats 3pl8
>that greasy pt woman who takes the barbells to do hip thrusts on the floor
>that black guy wearing the red headphones that just sits in front of the mirror all day never seen him do anything but he is big as fuck
>the old black owner who is an ex power lifter, at closing time he has all his friends over and they play trombone in the lobby
>the other guy who works there, in his 40's, balding and has monster traps. you know when he is working out because he changes the music to death metal
>the boxing coach, little old irish man who jokes with everyone, hits hard as fuck tho and keeps asking me to fight him.
>that guy who wears a trapper hat and a jumper whilst working out with his girlfriend and gym bro, he is in there for hours every day and is pushing his girlfriend to the limits, he made her leg press 16pl8 yesterday
that guy is me
Screams and squeals doing OHP and bench, in a completely unnecessary way.
>"The minor league baseball team"
A group of guys who stand around while two guys do an exercise. One guy is on a decline sit up bench, and the other guy is throwing a medicine ball as fast as he can to the other guy, who is catching it on his way up.
God I hate these people.
Manlet Spaz: the spazziest manlet in existence. Any presence of ovaries puts him in the most autistic case of sporadic excitement, you just really have to sit back and take it in. Picks heavy weights to do poor form and slam down in hopes of attracting attention. It works, but not the type he wants. Ping pongs to different stations, never cleans up after himself. Nearly hung himself upside down trying to do chin ups with bands.
We also get this older woman who comes in in a full velour suit, completely zipped up, with lifting gloves and does curls with 5lb weights. Not hating, but the suit + gloves is a bit funny.
6' 5 behemoth who grunts and throws around heavy weights making as much noise as possible to get folks to look at him
Motherfucker is strong as shit but has a problem with needing attention
>>that woman who always takes 10 minute rests between sets texting her friends
1. they are five minute rests, faggot. i tried resting for 3, failed on too many lifts.. now i rest 5.. shit takes forever, so i keep my phone out so i can keep an eye on the clock
2. i am most likely shitposting here...
3. stop staring at me creep
My gym isn't a dungeon or anything. It's some 24-hour most-days-of-the-week kinda place that old people and hot girls go to. Anyway, there's:
Mohawked tatted guy who quarter reps everything, isn't even big.
Likely highschool dude who's pretty cool, pretty much only does bicep workouts.
Etc. But I cant complain. I sing in the gym on the reg.
Old brick-shithouse looking guy. Wears boots and track pants. Rack pulls 5 plates, no shit.
Shortarse guy with a shaved head and a big beard. Looks kinda crossfitty, but strong as hell.
Youngster. Brags about getting to the gym at 4 in the morning (still there when I'm there at 7). I don't understand a single thing he does, but he's decently built
Dignified, fit, middle aged gentleman. Listens to Cap'n Murricunt bitch about stuff.
>The Smoke Show
Goddammit slap yo momma hory sheet FUARK. If I took a creepshot you fucks would lose your minds. Finishes every workout with pathetically terrible kickboxing on the heavy bag.
Is everyone in this thread that new?
Suddenly 5pl8 rack pulls are 'no shit' and 240 guys are huge...
In random order
A guy who manages to be a giant and a manlet at the same time. 5'8 tops, always weighs in, always is 139.5 kg.
Doesn't warm up, just slaps himself with Bengay before he benches. Warms up with bar x50 and adds plates untill he adds them all.
Seen him bench 280kg after warming up with shit like 140kg x10, 180kg x8 and 220kg x5.
Has a cute pre-school daughter who wears pink, has blond pig tails, plays with dolls next to the power cage and cheers on her daddy when he does hit 1RMs.
Young guys, started two years ago, on the younger ones 18th birthsday. Now are big. Older one reps out 150kg, younger one is taller.
Complete manlet. Deadlifts close to 2xbw, hates squats and has failed at 150kg at least three times. Has a dedicated biceps day.
30-something called that to his by the brothers. Can't squat (at all, can't go below a quarter squat with no weight), yells out like's he's giving birth while benching 90kg. Whines about his non-existant gyno he got from FA supps, about his non-existant bicep tear, about his non-existant injuries and about his non-existant gains. BFF with dadbod
>Nolegs biker and son
Stopped doing legs when he started biking to the gym. Wears compression shorts. Looks like he has polio. Cool guy, first one to bring his son to the gym
>Veteran and son
Veteran is an old school powerlifter, around 160-180. Coaches his highschool son.
>The firewood brigade
There's always an interchangable bunch of sticks that train in threes, do like 20 sets of biceps with babbyweight, don't take the owners advice and have no gains. I think this new year's stick crew is like the 8th we've had here in the last 3 years.
>the false big guy and his wife
They look like they're collage sweethears in their mid 20s, actually married for 10 years now. The guy looks huge, is as strong as Goofy, but squats
Native American guy that smells like he just came out of a bar
Teenage guy that only works his chest and has the legs of an African orphan
>The quiet one
>Rock em Sock em retard
Buff dude that hits the heavy punching bag like aforementioned toy. Also uses the wrong gloves.
>Has a cute pre-school daughter who wears pink, has blond pig tails, plays with dolls next to the power cage and cheers on her daddy when he does hit 1RMs.
both are 6'7 and look identical. they're also hyooge and always lift together
>giant SWAT bro (German SEK)
he's 6'9 and weighs 275lbs with a sixpack
A 5 plate pull for a guy in his 60's isn't bad.
Believe it or not, Smoke Show actually doesn't show that much skin. Just about 2 inches round her midsection and some cheeky cleavage.
O'course... her clothes are painted on. Like, damn, I can see your goosebumps through your shirt.
High wasted tights and crop top zipper hoodie. Always color-coordinated.
She always (always) wears those cutesy leg warmers, big headphones and some kind of hat, either a beanie or a flatbill (grr, imma tuff chick lol!)
The bod? Bruh...
Ridiculous tits. Wasp waist, thick juicy ass. Slim little legs. Silhouette similar to, say, Christy Mack without the tats (just off the top of my head).
Very good chance she's got a damn good surgeon.
And yes, her face is cute. Striking, really. She looks really young (out of high school, but not by much). Might have some Persian/Arab/Mediterranean thing going on. Thick black wavy hair, keeps it pulled back.
All in all, she comes in early, works hard and keeps to herself.
But... Dayum, son.
A collage kid, who's got the whole package - narrow shoulders, long-ass arms, legs one-width all the way down, nerd-glasses, unkempt hair of undefined length, works out in a baggy while t-shit and shorts.
Good kid, tries hard, takes advice, isn't afraid to ask and joke around a bit.
>The wanna be thug
Friend of the Brothers, Looked strong 2 years ago. Is the same now. Invisible lat syndrome.
Has bragged he 'actually read a book'. Mostly comes in for the MMA classes now.
Outside of her 'vegan power' t-shirt and her penchant for using the chalk to scribble vegan slogans on the walls, she's actually a cool gal. Has no tits.
>The kindergarden teacher
Powerlifter, tiny little thing that reps out 120kg deadlifts. Wants a kid of her own, doesn't take up the offers from the gymgoers. Wants a piece of
>The Deadlift casanova
Has fucked or at least made out with almost every girl in the gym. Has a horrible tattoo on his left leg, whole calf, whole thigh, up to in left hip.
Deadlifts 5pl8 for 3 at 170lbs.
>The most obvious roider
Blond guy with giant, capped shoulders, which are covered in blond bodyhair. His V-taper has a v-taper - I'm convinced his shoulder-to-hip ratio is close to 2.
Very nice guy. Is on test+deca.
Giant dude, 6', ~240 at 6-8%. Owns a confectionary. Is a bodybuilder for a hobby. Buys his gear from the owner, leaves needles in the locker room trash. Reps out 200kg on the bench, never seen him squat more than 120kg for a set of 14.
>The random lifters
Interchangeble dudes with no actual features that set them apart from each other. All lift, all can't deadlift for shit and do so in those horrible bodybuilding belts. I'm pretty sure they're just the same 2-3 guys who reincarnate every few months.
Former bodybuilder, former powerlifter, current Master's bench-only guy. Takes payment only in cash, sells preworkout, Yohimbe and Geranium right at the counter, can get you almost anything.
Extremely cool bro, offten offers to PT people for free, because he loves the gym.
Sadly most sticks don't take him up on it. Has a Goofy radar, always senses when he'll come bitching about something irrevelant.
>The First Couple
Guy brought his gf to the gym and they've been coming non-stop ever since. They married, she's been lifting while pregnant and outbenched the firewood brigade, now they're coming in with their baby. Had the owner make their baby a onesie with the gym logo.
The girl lifting started the avalanche of guys bringing in theri girls to lift with them. The baby started a trend of girls bringing their friends to lift, just to see the 'gym toddler'.
This is me and my wife.
This is all I can remember about my gym.
real bro of a PT, lifts heavy is really good for advice and does flexibilty work regularly
only speak to women, never enter the free weight area
has a big total natty (i'm guessing natty with his bf/only working out 3 times a week) and talks to literally everyone about random stuff. keeps on talking to me about cricket because he knows I used to play for a professional clubs 2nd team. he knows literally nothing about it
>oly lifts guy
speaks to no-one but the powerlifter, does oly lifts with solid form and lots of cardio on the rowing machine. also lots of shrugs.
>roided up monster
walks in, uses the machines and leaves. Is 6'5 260lbs at 50. My dad used to play cricket with him and reckoned he could have gone pro if he hadn't jumped on the juice at 15 and couldn't run due to the amount of mass he had. Used to compete in amateur events
>random old dudes
Never speak, the powerlifter always tries to speak to them. They seem scared of him
Don't have a clue what their doing, the bro PT tries to help them. Powerlifter refuses to speak to them, god knows why. They are always searching for things to curl, I swear I saw one try to curl a bench one, but I was drunk so I'm not sure
>That one guy I used to go to school with
We acknowledge each other with nods. Had to shout at him to help me once when I was stuck under a bench and was panicking so hard I forget to roll of shame. Awkward conversation ensued afterwards. Is ginger.
>milf cardio bunnies
Stare at anyone doing any big compounds (OHP, Squats, DL's)
>That one girl that was being shown around and saw me doing OHP and ran away
Her name kinda sums her up. I saw her in the cardio area once and she nearly ran again. I think she's like 15. Not sure what's going on here.
I talk to the powerlifter, roided up monster and the bro PT and no-one else.
Literally had a highschool kid come in yesterday with his backpack on and in full winter gear come to dumbbell rack and do nothing but curls, then wander around aimlessly, only to come back and do curls.
I am dyel myself, but at least I was progressing on my bench.
he squats a lot and hes not afraid to show his gains. he keeps pulling his loose shorts up and tucks them so everyone can forcibly mire his legs. n-no homo
no idea if thats his name, but he looks like a jerome. massive bruva, but he makes so much grunting noise
jerome's competitor, all he does is back work and it fucking shows.
I'm in college and this is what I see at the college gym:
> both rare and extremely strong
> I've only seen him once, did sets of 4pl8 + 35 squats and 6pl8 deadlifts
> has a notebook, wears modest clothing and a cap
> moderately strong (at least he looks big)
> homemade muscle shirt
> every exercise he does needs to be in front of the mirror I guess
> walks around like he owns the place
> never seen him do anything with barbells, so I've never had to interact with him
> pretty weak I think, kinda fat
> homemade muscle shirt
> yelled at his friend for using clips (I guess he doesn't like the .75lbs gains)
> generally comes off as a dick even though I've never interacted with him
> pretty big kid who is always teaching girls how to lift
> asked him to check my deadlift form and he gave good pointers
> pretty much constantly talking to someone in the gym, good guy though
> this kid looks fucking ridiculous
> his arms are like the size of his head and everything else is tiny
> I am pretty sure he only curls/tricep push downs
> never seen him do anything else
jacked w/o trying
> extremely well defined muscles, always wears a tank
> never seems to be working out, always see him at the gym
> really nice kid, no idea how he does it
> not drunk, her face is just plastered in makeup
> kinda weird looking
> this one kid that simply can't be natty
> he's huge but basically only does bodyweight pullups and 2pl8 deadlifts
> really short so that might be it
> only upper body exercises from what I've seen
> makes a ton of noise
the duo (two people, probably the most ridiculous at the gym)
> make even more noise than superman
> bring invisible watermelons to the gym
> pretty weak, but walk with an unjustified air of confidence
> count reps out loud for each other
> spot each other on free weight lifts
tubby whitetrash guy with a faded tattoo sleeve, dude's got a belly like a dangerously pregnant woman that only ever see doing lat pulldowns, he'll put the whole stack on and do 2 inch behind the head pulls
crazy looking jacked guy, constantly stricken with rage-face and wide eyes, though he's a good 6'4 and huge
>Retired Niko Bellic
late 40's dude who wears the exact same tracksuit to the gym every single time i see him, does a fuckton of weight on every exercise with half decent form
tall as fuck front desk receptionist who spends all night zipping around on a rolling chair, watching UFC highlights, doing handstands, and doing kicks on the bag
>Chunkaru and His Faithful Manleturai
5'6 tubby asian manlet and his two friends who are also manlets, only ever do squats/deadlifts
6'3 black dude, probably late 20's, his calves are a little slender but he's got really herculean shoulders and arms, can do hanging windshield wipers for fucking ever
another tall ass black dude, always wears a hoodie and headphones, will do absolutely anything to not have to workout near Black Jesus, no clue why
>D.U.F.F., Gains Goblin, and the Mighty Manbaby
a doughy late 30's manlet who is best friends with a pretty muscular giant autist of a guy, they are always with this tiny, ugly woman who has actually gotten worse looking as i've been at the gym, she literally looks like a fucking goblin with her big ass bug eyes and pointy nose
>Pajeet Jr. and Pajeeta Jr.
a tubby little indian kid that i swear is actually 12, he and his sister wander around the gym like literal lost children and fuck around with the back machines
dad and his teen son, the dad has huge as fuck arms but a pretty big gut, the son is growing like crazy though from the glances i catch every now and then, he towers over his dad at like 6'4 and has gotten atleast twice as big as when i first saw him maybe 6 months ago
>gym requires short sleeves or longer, no tanks (university gym)
>guy walks over to curls and pull-downs
>rolls up sleeves all the way to shoulder
>looks in mirror while doing them slowly
Dat ass girl
>spends 30+ minutes on the Smith machine doing weird variations of squats
>not normal variations either, like things I've never seen before
>her ass is average
He meant ancient egyptian obviously.
>african americans(africans from the kong/coast
>egyptians in north africa who were a mixture of people
Idiots in general ITT
Great stories so far, keep em up.
Combination of Uni and apartment gym go-ers
5' 8", 300lbs, tomato red face even before working out. Only leg presses(like 50lbs) and his sets last 5+ minutes where he goes around trying to talk about DC comics
5' 7" azian dude, long hair and glasses, sometimes brings roommate/gf. Just chest/shoulders,uses both db's/cables to do bench, flyes, shrugs, and standing chest presses. Tiny legs.
5' 3", 95lbs, azian. Sometimes comes in with chestbrah, have see her run on the treadmill once for a half mile a ~5mph. On phone and talking with chestbrah other times.
5' 7", 200lbs, black girl. I only saw her a few times, but once of those times she benched 1plate for reps. Her feet were up on the bench however.
5' 6", 130lbs, does a brosplit but with glute focus. Does 1 legged hip bridges and cable kickbacks with like 30lbs. Slightly above average ass.
>Eastern European looking kids
Blast Kali Muscle YouTube videos during their workouts and try to use the heaviest dumbbells to do their 4 rep sets
Run on treadmill or use elliptical for an hour and a half until the gym floor is flooded with sweat
>Mark ripptoe and his girlfriend
Doing some sort of SS routine, looks like a tall lanky Mark ripptoe with long hippie hair
>squat rack benched
Uses the squat rack to bench, but has the bar racked outside the squat rack instead of just using the bench press 10 feet away
>ab machine dyels
Do like 20 sets on the seated ab machines and leave. Still have huge stomach
>Clean bulk Carl
Always talking about he's going to put some quality mass without getting fat, he has a nice physique, but it hasn't changed a single bit in months and as far as i know all his lifts are stalling, form is god-tier though.
always doing arms, sometimes shoulders, asks me pointers on how to grow a better chest and then proceeds to never follow them.
Fucking shredded cunt, also pretty big, never saw him doing anything except 4pl8 deadlifts and lat pulldowns with the whole stack for reps.
He's actually a cool guy, into nerdy shit so we get to talk about it when he has a little bit of time (He shared my hype for MGSV back in the day) which is close to never, since he does everything supersetted with everything else, never saw him in the gym for more than 35 minutes, never saw him resting too.
>Queen Amazon and her shield maiden
Two Dana Linn Bailey-esque women, super chill to talk with, despite the appearance, but super serious when it's time to train.
>actually nice old dude
What it says on the tin, spotted him on bench a lot of times, he could do much more, but always stops when he has like 5 more reps in the tank at least, he has crazy mobility and sometimes gives me advice on stretching
Powerlifter, absolutely godlike bench, really bad squat and his deadlift form is fucking awful
Local lifting fascist, would look great if he cuts and he knows it, but says cutting is not worth the sacrifices of a caloric deficit, took it better than expected when discovered i was a leftie "at least you take care of your body unlike your "comrades" who smoke weed all day"
Could name more since i know pretty much everyone in that gym since sometimes i train in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon and sometimes in the evening
Bald Bill-older 50's guy who spends more time walking around naked in the locker room than he does lifting.
Lon-Tay -Asian guy who laughs at everything, even when he's in mid lift. He told me his name was Ronte' once but he said it with the good ol Asian "L".
Peru and Peru Jr.- Peru is 6'3, early 20s, jacked as fuck, everyone's best friend, and long long long ponytail. He keeps himself buff because LI and behold he's a jiggalo (he's told me this himself). Peru Jr is not as tall, not as ripped, definently by as likeable, and if I had to speculate, probably not as successful in the jiggalo business.
The Mos- A group of 8-10 middle Eastern guys, late 20s, early 30s. Hard to tell if they're gay or just Persian. Average shape at best. Spend most of the time looking at themselves in the mirror and come to the gym in khakis and dress shoes (not kidding).
DeBreenan-no idea why I call him that, I think his name is Kevin or something, but he's the obvious roid head. Doesn't talk a lot but will ask strangers if they're okay. When they look at him puzzled, he smiles, winks at them and says "yeah you know what I mean".
Gwalt- his name is Walt but he has a weird stutter. He has a full sleeve tattoo on one arm, so he only ever works out arms to keep his tattoo proportional.
Sarge-almost looks like Guile when he turns 50. Wears fatigues, combat boots and an old Marine cap. Doea nothing but chest. Still, he's pretty jacked, considering.
Tank Fatbott- 5'5 Manley, thinks he's huge, looks like Tank Abbott if Tank was an alcoholic. Has the fat old man complex.
Florida-blonde now in her 50s. Easily slept with a good 10% of the gym. Her better days are behind her though. Her ass is in good shape but that's on its way out now too.
Jester- power lifter who wears the same pants every day; yoga pants with vertical stripes . Also dons multicolored bandanas. Thankfully he changes those out. He can lift, don't get me wrong but it's hard to take him seriously.
Some white skinny fat kid that is always wearing a dbz shirt. Once when the gym was empty he went for a 2plate squat for 5reps and each exhale a KA (Rep1) Ma (Rep 2) Ha (Rep 3) Ma (Rep 4) HAAAAAA! (Exposive as fuck rep 5) and the threw the weight behind him, jumped over the bar and tried to give a high five to a guy who was in the leg press beside him.
She doesn't have the most athletic body but you always find your self staring at her because she looks like she is 14 (I think she is older though).
Some old Italian guy who comes in with a thick gold chain on all the time and is so tanned that his skin might actually be the same consistency as leather.
Some chubby girl that comes in and only works on her ass but is always wearing a sweater with the hood up and way too much make up
>The curltastic 4
A group of 4 teens who curl in sync and count their reps in a sequence with each other
>squat for 5reps and each exhale a KA (Rep1) Ma (Rep 2) Ha (Rep 3) Ma (Rep 4) HAAAAAA! (Exposive as fuck rep 5)
>doing this out loud
to be honest I really want a dbz shirt just to have one
pretty chill dude, benching around 300, 4+35pl8 diddlylift. I think he likes twinks. Used to roid back in the day, is now trying to cut all the extra weight.
5'5 with 18 inch arms. Curl god. Calves are almost non existent. He's a nice guy, I think he's gay though due to the fact he was openly flirting with me. Benches around 300.
group of dedicated lifters in the off season. went to school with most of them, but they're younger them me by a couple years. 6'7" ginger defensive end, buff as fuck. 6'2" linebacker, equally as buff, 405 diddlylift. His gf is an Amazonian Goddess and I would let her dominate me. Assortment of DYELS as follows.
General non-sociable assholes. Dislike my brother and I for no apparent reason. Won't look me in the fucking eyes and it pisses me off. I really dislike this man.
5'8"ish, huge as fuck. Forearms the size of 2 liters. Used to be cut as fuck back in the day, huge too. Won shit tons of competitions. Taught my brother and I proper lifting form.
Brother and I are basically the same person. He's more cut then I am, but I have more muscle mass. We're both 5'8", have good bodies, friends with pretty much everyone at the gym. Both roman grecco wrestlers and amatuer MMA fighters for fun.
Bald dude who looks skinny but is actually buff as fuck. I think he's hung like a horse due to the fact that he's ugly with a 10/10 smoking cardio bunny. Her ass is the reason I lift weights.
>mfw when she's on the treadmill
>tattoo down her side you can see because she wears cutoffs
Motherfucker that shit does me in. When you can only see part of it but you really gotta see the rest of it? That's the kind of shit that makes you lose your mind and drill a hole in the locker room wall like Porky's.
>those fags that wear tshirts
>guy who uses squat rack to do curls
>uses smith machine to do squats
i cant fucking stand this guy
Sloots that come in wearing tight yoga pants and a sports bra. All they do is butt exercises. Smith machine curtsy lunges, stepups, light squats, leg press, hamstring curls, etc.
>Diet Ronnie Coleman
Big bald black dude who looks sort of like Ronnie Coleman at least in size
>Diet Ronnie Coleman's Entourage
Can't really describe these guys other than one of them has like an almost skullet and wears cargo shorts to the gym
Picture a more methhead version of Mac from It's Always In Sunny in Philadelphia's Dad
Wears a gold chain and benches in the smith machine wearing gloves
There's a lot more but I'm drawing a blank on how to describe a lot of them
>Asian photo shooters
Two guys always come and work out during prime time. They will stand in the mirror with a camera filming and taking photos of each other.
>The fake natty crew
Come in all together to train together. None of them do compound lifts and then hang around for the next hour discussing their cycles. Suddenly their dealer rocks up to the gym where they proceed to the back of the carpark to buy/sell/shoot up
Two huge titted and huge ass girls that look enough a like to be sisters. One is a dime and the other a little chubby. Hottest girls in the gym.
Bald guy that always wears a cap, always working his upper body, ripped as fuck tho
A blonde dime and her bf that dont workout together but its obvious theyre together. The blonde like to mire my lifts and doesnt hide it when hes around
Wears a military hat and headphones. Not the biggest guy but defiantly the strongest. Really cool
Tall girl with a nice ass always doing glutes or using the treadmill
Group of annoying black teenagers that wont shut the fuck up. No idea what theyre doing.
These guys still lift even tho theyre all over 60. Short guys with decent muscle, you can tell he lifts
This guy didnt think i could squat more. I squatted more. He mired that shit.
>Freckle tits milf
No ass but has a nice rack and face. She likes to flaunt it to everyone.
Peeps i went to highschool with. Come once or twice but I never see them again
>Curlbro suave PT that flirts with literally every bitch in the gym, probably swims in pussy
>ex-fatass who is scared as fuck of becoming fat again so he keeps training with very low weights and probably doesn't eat a lot of food, he now resembles a fucking skeleton.
I literally saw this guy during his whole transformation, props to him for losing all that weight but he should stop being a little bitch and bulk up a bit, he also does like 40 minutes of pure cardio after every workout
>old nationalist as fuck guy who's always training in some sort of national attire clothing (IE shirts with the flag on it and shit like that)
He's a cool dude though
>1/4 rom messifag curlbro, pretty chill guy but he trains like shit and knows little about dieting and/or training
no matter how many times how it's fucking meaningless how much weight he can lift when his form is crap he never ever listens, we have became friends and usually talk about gym related stuff but the man just outright refuses to listen to advise, his dad has the fucking perfect strongman physique, his calves are probably 45cm each if not more
>ultra skeletor guy who is very sensitive about his skely-ness
one time I joked about his lack of weight and he panicked, I literally had to tell him I was joking and that I actually think his bigger (100% bullshit)
>gay4pay fag who always goes to the gym in short shorts wearing skimpy tanktops that barely cover his nipples
>tfw college gym
>kids spend $120 on crosstrainers to squat 25lb plates
>I have to shovel $4 worth of beans into my mouth everyday to keep with my deficit
Shit is so unfair. I remember that one time some douche posted on reddit about the insane gains he made over a two year period while he was in college. He said he ate only chipotle everyday. Basically, mommy and daddy paid for his expenses while he got to do all the fun bits, which are eat and lift. Fuck that kid.
>fat 17 year old who thinga he's massive. Walks in, does 3-4 chin-ups, tucking his knees to his chest for momentum, flexes in the mirror? then does like 6 sets of assisted pull-ups before moving on to something else.
>Montoya and Juan
>Two of the strongest fucks in the gym, both are well past the 1000 club. Benching 315 for reps, squating 8 pl8s. Always mirin.
>Gronk the Bearded
>Single strongest dude in the gym, jooicy as fuck, long ass beard, 6ft2. Truly master race
>Otter mode faget with a smug look plastered on his face, constantly doing ab work or hypertension with a lollipop in his mouth.
>Some dude who does mostly body weight shit and sometimes uses minor weights for aerobic exercises. Usually seen in a sleeveless hoodie near the punching bag, will dance around the gym between sets for cardio.
I have more.
literally looks like paul sr from motercycle show. huge as fuck, like a lifetime of lifting + now enjoying those sweet sweet trt gains
5'3 man that does the most nonsensical exercise orders I've ever seen, makes no gains what-so-ever, in his early 50's always wears lifting gloves
2 half Mexican looking brothers that are pretty jacked that around late 20's seem like total bro's
6'4 full blooded Mexican that looks like he is from the heart Mexico. Literally the tallest mex I've ever seen. Does all power lifting type stuff, covered in what I'll assume are gang tattoos from head to toe. Always comes to gym in manual labor work cloths. Cool dude that will let you work in.
>black mail man
Always in his post office blues, complete with sleeveless PO t-shirt. He must have the easiest route because he is in the gym by noon some days.
should I continue?
>Cocoa Golem of Life Advice
Big older black dude that's definitely not lifting for aesthetics. Likes to give life advice to other black dudes for way too long in locker room, probably used to drink too much
Middle aged white lady doing low level machine exercises, always audibly mumbling the words to whatever song she's listening to
>The White Ninja
Some annoying faggot that does shitty Crouching Tiger attacks to the punching bag, makes the rest of the Functional Strength structure shake when he does it
> Chad Chaddington
DYEL faggot that has his hair gelled up when he's fucking working out.
>at closing time he has all his friends over and they play trombone in the lobby
I think the first couple were accurate fitness stereotypes but then you sort of ventured off into fictional creatures you wish hung out at your gym.
Huge turbomanlet ex-bodybuilding champion, strong as fuck, always grunting on heavy reps and looks like he could kill a crush a baby in his fist, but is really bro-tier and gives sound advice to people who ask him
Dyel asian kid doing an unending superset of rear delt standing backwards flyes with 5 kgs dumbbells for 150 reps followed by 150 burpees and 150 kneeling overhead triceps kipping curls. Leaves gym after taking selfie
Clueless PT that mostly chats people up, rarely has any clients but is pretty bro-tier. Has little lifting experience other than a few exercises on machines and dumbbells, but knows he doesn't know shit about oly and powerlifting so he doesn't bother us.
Captain upperbody who only does ONLY pull-ups (i shit you not,i did like 5 sets snatch pulls, 5 sets of squats, 5 sets of push press and some assistance work and he still wasn't done). Last time i checked he did over 40 minutes of pull ups. All wide grip.
Does 2 sets of x exercise and smells worse than a wet dog that hasn't been washed in a month.
Women that sweat on the cardio machines with face full of powder.
A retard who wears unnecessary extra clothes while working out.
>small gym oldfags
Start bickering about you with their friends about you doing x workout x way while being smaller than any women working out.
Pretty friendly, doesn't talk though, but you can tell he's friendly since he's extra chatty and super nice with the staff people outside/when he's done working out and talks to people at the lobby.
>i dont lift but i work at a gym to get chicks
Literally all he does is stand around and pretend to help chicks just to fondle them and try to make moves.
Quote me if you relate with any of the above.
That's me. Too alpha to care.
I go in, do what I have to do, and leave. All while racking/stripping the plates and wiping things down when necessary.
Occasionally I'll spot someone, or ask someone to spot me. If this isn't what you want in your peer gym users, what is? Most everyone is wearing headphones, anyway.
I don't need to go to the gym with an entourage b/c I'm insecure.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, great bait mate.
As an asian I feel bad whenever these threads come up because the general consensus is that most Asians don't know what the fuck they're doing
I always get stares when I'm doing a 2.5 plate bench for reps or 3 plate pullup but it's nothing compared to my korean friend
> 150 lbs
> Chem e phd
> dips 5 to 6 plate
> maxed out 390 for bench
>go to my gym
>want to bench
>some silly asian kid is using it
>ask him how many sets
>tell me he just started
>tell him i'll take turns
>he can barely do 1 plate
>do 1 plate just to fuck with him
>he does 1.5 plates now
>do 1.5 plates to fuck with him
>he tries doing 2 plates and can barely finish 1 rep and pass me the bench
>do 12 reps with 2 plates
>he tries doing 2.25 plates and had the bar almost crush his teeth, but luckily it for him
>do 5 plates with 2 reps as max he just walks to the locker room
Just a normal day at the gym with an asian guy.
>implying chinks are doctors because they like it
>not because of the status that comes with
and this nigga talks about unhealthy egos
Uh, because they think the only viable job are those that people talk the most and will bring the most honor to their family?
How is that not the same thing as trying to pretend being better at benching than a guy who's been lifting for years, it's literally a sign that they want to overcompensate for their small dicks by trying to take such majors.
Guy who always come in the exact time when the gym opens. Probably to have the whole gym to himself.
Really short guy that looks really buff because of it. Always does half reps but he actually doesn't care. Thinks pushing 200kg on leg press is big deal.
In his 40ies, realized he has to lose weight, so he comes every third day and walks in the threadmill for an hour. He'll most probably make it one day
Tall, bearmode guy with a tough face and beard, competing kickboxer. His routine consists of skipping the rope, doing some impressive gymnastics shit and doing my 1RM's for 12 reps. He's probably the strongest guy around.
Long haired king of manlets who always comes with earbuds. You can hear Meshuggah and Hatebreed blasting from feet away of him. He's pretty ripped tho.
>the nice guy
Tall guy who is nice to everyone and always smiles and tries to cheer up people. Was a rapper as a teenager so he spills some rhymes when he's in the mood
Last name is Gaskin. We used to go to the same school, and all the kids use to make fun of him because he's on the 'tism spectrum and is fat. Is on the treadmill and row machine a lot, but never loses weight. I feel bad because I want to apologise if I ever made fun of him, but I feel like he just doesn't want anything to do with me, and I can understand that. Feels bad, man.
>"I was the raddest guy of 1991"
PT who specialises in bodybuilding. He's in his late 40s and still acts like he's 23. Perpetual midlife crisis, tries to buddy up with the guys in their mid 20s and talk about women, sports, cars etc. Actually like a really nice, but seems quite insecure.
Strongest guy in the gym. Roughly 193cm tall. Comes in throughout the week at 7pm sharp, and does some sort of PPL without the L. Always wears boots and black or camo jeans. Grunts and moans throughout every set and then growls like a beast (hence the name) after the sets. Snacks on slices of oranges throughout his sessions. Doesn't ever use the area in which to keep bags, walkets, etc - he puts his bag and evian bottle in the corner of the freeweights section. I've never talked to him, but apparently he's a really nice guy.
>Helga and friend
Butch lanklette training like a man. She's about 185cm tall and is always accompanied by an un-noteworthy guy. I think she secretely dispises me, dunno why though.
My uni's gym has clearly defined sections I took the liberty of labeling yesterday
>long row of treadmills
>looooong row of ellipticals
>NYRfags and chubby chicks here
>machines, machines everywhere
>"I work out"
>3 power racks
>"This is the only place I can bench press"
>upper level of cardio machines
>"No Boys Allowed"
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . .that is if you can handle it...
Ton of people in my uni gym only a few stand out
>the black buck
Big black guy brushed up against him one time on the way to the gym he yells "watch where you're going" my friend and I yell back "what did you say!?" Then he says when we see each other again in the gym "I said watch where you're going cause you bumped into him" I smile and say "oh" nigga is always staring at me since then
Roided up black guy who deadlifts two plates but is bigger than prime Arnold, guy is massive but brings out the straps and shit for two fucking plates
White chick with a massive ass usually there with her dyel bf
Massive natty black guy looks like Tiger from back in the day
Friend of mine rail thin always in the gym repping out the 15lb Dumbbells
Guy is like 5'4 but has ridiculous mass and rows three plates