I'm having a hard time stopping cold turkey
I'm still getting off to the fact that my ex-gf cheated on me and fucked my ex-roommate in my old bed. I'm still getting off to small penis humiliation and can only get off during intercourse if I am being humiliated in some way.
I have an obsessive streak and these thoughts are starting to consume my everyday life.
I never made her cum and she wasn't a girlfriend, just a really close friend. But I ended up falling in love with her.
The first night I met her I basically told her that I loved her and also told her that I wanted her to have sex with my friend in front of me.
That turned her on to me even more believe it or not.
Then I had to move to a new school and she banged him in my old bed.
I was in love and she tore my fragile heart.
Part of me still can't stop thinking of her getting pounded by my roommate. It was real love.
So it's not small for you to feel ashamed of it.
Maybe what turned you on about your girlfriend having sex with your roommate is the thought that maybe he could please her better than you?
Again, you haven't answer the question if you like yourself or not
I like myself sometimes, I have a lot of moods and they change often. My suicidal ideation has increased lately as well as my masturbation habits.
I generally like my quirk self but have never had many close male friends.
But girls love me either as a friend or as something else.
It's pretty easy for me to get laid if I wanted to. But that hasn't happened since I'm not currently in the environment that suits that type of behavior.
I always wanted to be famous but that likely will never happen. So realizing that I'm a piece of shit who's born to be a nobody has lowered my self-confidence.