This just happened to me.
>be at gym
>doing 5k run on treadmill
>qt takes treadmill next to mine
>half way through
>slow down and wait for it to go away
>pain in abdomen intensifies
>think I can pass it off as a fart
>feel liquid coming out
>run for the bathroom
>cover the toilet bowl in diarrhea
>water looks like the fields of Verdun
>takes three flushes to get rid of evidence
>go straight home
>tfw incomplete cardio day
go on back extension machine
go behind the part i'm meant to lean back on and wrap my arms around it
proceed to do this movement for like 2 sets until someone came up to me to tell me i was doing it wrong
>Be at the loocker room
>Changing my clothes, im only on boxers
>Some random dude I don't know comes near me
>Im trying to set my autism aside, so I greet him
>He looks at me, says "...hi" and goes far away
>I get sad, and I wonder why this happened
>Later I realized that my dick was half outside the fly of my boxers
Socialize is hard
The earlier you start the better. Free weights needs a lot of coordination and this shit builds up with time. Just look at different exercises for chest/shoulders.
In no time you'll feel the absolute orgasm about doing OHP
Several years ago when I was a skeleton I didn't know proper squat form at all and was routinely squatting like 300lbs to 1/4 RM. One day I loaded up the weight and began squatting; on one rep I actually went full atg.
Then my legs failed. I didn't properly set the safety rack on so I just slammed down onto the floor. Luckily the plates on the bar were large enough so that my fucking neck wasn't snapped by the bar.
I crawled out from underneath it with stars in my eyes and then just waltzed out of the gym trying not to make eye contact with anyone.
>third time coming to the gym, broke so can only go with a bro on Wednesdays
>start doing squats
>tfw you start and all you can squat is the bar
>do 5x5 on the bar
>last rep I almost lose feeling in one leg and nearly slip and fall over
>tfw you get up and walk around after doing squats tho
>decide to deadlift with hex bar for the first time
>take hex bar off its stand
>wow this is quite heavy
>deadlift using no weights
>don't even try to put it back on the rack because I'll embarrass myself
>leave the hex bar on the floor and walk away to do other exercises
>leave the gym guilty about leaving shit lying around
>feels bad man
I'm still learning how to do power cleans, and today I did ten pounds as warm up on the bar to get my form down. My grip kind of sucked and it was light so I pulled too hard and caught the damn thing with my fucking throat. Hurt like a bitch and felt pretty embarrassed. Lucky hang nobody really goes at 6 AM.
yesterday qt looks at me and ask for help
>hey nobody else was watching me so..
>i explain the movement
>she says ok ok and can feel her disgust by my autism
>later i need to use that machine. ask her if i can join
>yes, and she left the machine to talk to the PT. even saw her pointing at me by the mirror and the pt looking
i dont even know, its my smell or body language or my sight
i dont want to lift on this planet anymore
>Tfw you lift late at night, and any potential spaghetti will only be spilled where nobody is watching
Only real gym full retard moment when doing the roll of shame after getting the bar hooked back on the left side but not the right. I still don't know why it never occurred to me to use my other hand on the right side rather than rolling, but I do know that I looked like an absolute tit doing so.