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Gym-tism Stories
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness

Thread replies: 44
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Autistic shit you've done/seen at the gym. I bet this was one of you fuccbois so I'll start.

>be me
>be getting changed in the locker room before workout after a stressful work day.
>patience for bullshit at an all time low.
>enter level 6 autist.
>looks like he still listens to sum41
>says "bro when I was walking in I didn't know if that was a man or woman."
>"yeah I didn't know if it was a man or woman so I said thanks man when they said enjoy your workout.
>"yeah you can never tell these days..."
>I'm probably giving him a weird look at this point.
>he proceeds to tell the shitty excuse of a story AGAIN. he goes so far as explaining that if she was a woman she'd probably be pissed he said man.
>I say "she probably didn't care that much don't worry about it"
>now this is when the autism reaches critical levels.
>feel puzzle pieces falling from the ceiling.
>autismo looks around, and loudly comments "there's an awful lot of dicks in here"
>let that sink in. We're in the men's locker room.
>there's an awful lot of dicks in here
>lot of dicks in here
>dicks in here.
>"it's the men's locker room. You're gonna see dicks. Just don't look. Like pissing in a urinal pick a spot on the wall.
>"oh I know, I just wish (voice raises) THERE WERE LESS DICKS!"
>entire locker room goes silent.
>you autism premates the air like a protein fart, making it hard to breathe.
>lock my shit up and walk away from that autistic mess of a human being.

So fit, what level of autism have you witnessed at the gym this year?
Uh I uh, almost missed the j-hooks when I was re-racking my squat. Hurt my shoulder a bit, I then just sat down on the floor for a few minutes before going upstairs to get some food.

Yeee haw, homegym master race
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>obese powerlifter masterrace
>going to pull 675 from blocks
>get psyched up and take a hit of ammonia
>really fucking angry
>throw ammonia bottle at the ground
>literally explodes everywhere
>nearby grills start gagging on the smell and getting tears in their eyes
>people literally run away
>the gym evacuates the area like some kind of biohazard
>get membership cancelled

Fml desu senpai.

Also at a PL meet recently some guy got himself so worked up he was screaming and slapping the giant bowl of chalk. Caused a giant fucking chalk storm and covered the whole warmup area and everyone nearby in white powder.
>about to do incline bench on Smith machine
>I'm not 5'11 manlet so the bar is up face level when I'm standing loading up weights
>grab a 45lb pl8
>secure it on the bar
>it's not secure on the bar
>falls straight down, untouched, directly on my toe
>wearing triathlon shoes
>literally no laces, can see right through entire shoe, just threads on toe
>grunt loudly, skip around for a few steps
>fall to my knees and lay on ground trying not to scream
>bicep bro next to me staring at me like I just killed his dog
>took him about 30 seconds to gather the courage to ask
>a-a-are you ok man?
>yeah its fine
>on floor for about 3 minutes, get up and try to walk around to walk it off
>stand by the Smith machine rubbing my face
>finish workout and go home
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You have my sympathies anon.
Shit happens bro. I'm about to go make some sick gains for you though.
N no homo btw
listen, you sound like a stupid fuck, op and let me tell you why. you go on 4chan's fit board to talk shit about some autist who you'll probsbly see tomorrow and won't have the balls to say anything while he's actually pummeling your sister. you stupid fuck? did you think you could post on the internet for epic attention memes? if you were on campus, i'd slap the shit out of you. i'd slap you so hard you'd stop and pause before you bawl your eyes out. you hear me, you fuck? i'd fucking crush your skull like peanut brittle. i'd fucking humilate you like some waiter in lederhosen? i'd fucking mock you.
"muh apeman strong"
There's some dude that's always messing with his hair at the gym. Like, he'll get done with some barbell rows, look at himself in the mirror, and fix his hair. Every fucking set.
Nothing wrong with a man wanting to look good. He's always ready for some poon. I understand that you notice this because your a cocksucking goat fucker sympathizing liberal faggot.
Always ready for poon after every set? He comes off as extremely narcissistic/insecure.
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Happened just today
>Old guy doing squatz
>more or less same weight as i wanted to do
>Ask him how many sets he's got left
>Says just one
>Say cool, just leave the weight on, i'll lump in after you
>He snaps "NO!" does his set, puts all his weights back on the rack across the gym, and glares at me the entire time he's there
Did I do something /fit/?
Oh the ironing.
i think you're on the spectrum new friend
You sound like a fat women complaining about skinny bitches.
That shit gets in my face and it's annoying senpai

Are you in socal? I fuck with my hair all the time when im in the gym and the only other two dudes in there today look like they shitpost on /fit/
I dunno about insecure but being narcissistic seems to coincide with getting poon
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>he's insecure

>it make's me uncomfortable when people pay attention to themselves

Whateva bitch
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>be me
>walk in to gym
> tie up my chuck taylors extra tight
>do up my belt on my jeans extra tight
> put on my workout denim shirt.
>qt3.14 from a few feet away notices.
>"you're not working out in that are you?"
>clearly never seen a real man work out.
>kinda embarrassed. whatever, still cruisin
>put phone in my pocket, accidently unhook headphones
>https://youtu.be/Y8HOfcYWZoo?t=74 starts blasting full volume.

I've never gone back to that gym, never will in my life.
>omg he's so insecure why doesn't he just stick to his lifts and not pay attention to what other people are doing

You're on the spectrum. Go get screened.
Nah oklahoma
5/10 I replied
Kudos for not screaming "BITCHFUCKINGNIGGERSHITFUCKER" like l did when l dropped a 10 on my foot
roids + autism = thermonuclear sperg attack

you didnt do anything wrong.
where are you? I do this constantly

Why were you playing incorrect music to begin with?
I get out a 2.5 lb plate and a yoga ball when l do deadlifts and heavy carries

I like to sit on the yoga ball and the coockie helps me load/unload the bar with 45s

Did you happen to fail year 8 english?

Do you not know how to string a legible story together you faggot?

The only autistic one here is you cunt.
don't be stupid
Doesn't like every phone pause playback after you unplug the headphones?
Yeah ok, i guess this counts
>getting back into lifting after exams/break
>go straight to deadlifts
>warming up with lmao1plaet
>do 3 sets of 5,8,12
>feeling good, lets try something heavier
>feeling woozy
>feeling breathless
>sit down for like 2 minutes looking at my phone
>realise im ridiculously out of shape and cant lift any more today or ill faint
>dont wanna just leave cause people will see i was only here for like 15 mins
>go sit on the toilet for like 15 mins more, then go back downstairs and grab my jacket and shit and leave
>hopefully anybody that saw me just thought i was in the other weights room

am i gonna make it guys?
Deadlift blackouts are common in high rep sets
Thus the yoga ball
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yoga ball?
Yum-yum new pasta
Nobody gives a shit you neckbeard
>high reps deadlift
Well that's your problem bud
Thread replies: 44
Thread images: 7
Thread DB ID: 446349

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