>some people on /fit/ still think they could take on a gorilla
>b-but muh 3pl8 bench
Marquess of Queensberry rules & I take a gorilla by lopsided decision. Possibly late rounds tko.
>well you would think they could, like, spray them or something
They tested young chimps in captivity and they could squat like 400 lbs or something absolutely ridiculous. Chimps and Gorillas have different kinds of muscle structure and ridiculous amounts of test that even roid bros can't get close to. Our muscles allow us to do micro movements like hold a pencil and write letters, type in a keyboard etc. Their muscles are all designed around composite pulls and big huge motions and they also have a lot more leverage.
Between Gorillas and chimps though I would fight a gorilla 10 out of 10 times. Gorillas are ridiculous strong and could ragdoll a linebacker easily and have long ass teeth that could kill you but they'll just smash your body and then leave you so you might recover. Chimpanzees are the nastiest fighters of any animal on planet earth, they'll go straight for your balls, eyes, nose and ears and eat them fast as hell, then they'll just start eating your face like it's kobiyashi.
The bear is a kodiak, the gorilla is a silverback
This is something I've often contemplated. I think the gorilla would be the better wrestler and would get a dominant position even though he weighs less but I think the bear would win in the end because he has more weapons and thicker skin/fur/blubber to protect him from the gorillas teeth which are the only way it's going to kill the bear other than hammerfisting it's face to pieces.
Hi guys, Jason Blaha here. I would fuck that gorilla up. The CIA taught me secret take down tactics that can be applied to this said confrontation. Once you killed a man with your bare hands it changes you mentally.
They come to the zoo to view how animals "live".
But when they fight for dominance a zookeeper should stop them.
Why the fuck do we always need to interfere with animals?
Also what is a zookeeper going to do apart from getting killed in this situation?
There are a bunch of old studies that gave apes dynamometers to pull and US highschool football players or whatever couldn't match it by a long way.
The main issue I have with this is even with top dynamometers today it's usually possible to crank it and get an abnormally large reading. It's p likely this happened with the apes. Still wouldn't want to ever be attacked by one but the gap in strength is exaggerated
This is how a fight with a gorilla would be
Hint: The machine is the gorilla
>oh no! Where's the zoo keeper?
>I knew that was coming!
Are Americans legit this retarded? Why do they have to speak in that fucking air-headed voice and say such dumb things?
Also a Gorilla would absolutely demolish any bear, no question about it, and a polar bear would rek a Kodiak bear.
>Are Americans legit this retarded? Why do they have to speak in that fucking air-headed voice and say such dumb things?
Yeah, when I was in thailand for 3 months the americans were always the loudest, the most annoying but also this....american chicks are fucking ugly
I thought it was a collection of spinning razor blades just ploughing through the chickens and killing them, then I realised they were being moved...but...
M-Maybe it's time to be vegan ;_;
Well since the gorilla is a vegan, he's probably into crossfit too. So he would the logically bore the bear to death with his bragging about the two, because we all know that vegans don't fight physically they fight auditorily.
Dude, gorillas looking fucking retarded while they fight. This shit has me laughing.
>muh gorilla versus human fights
A lot of fucking wild animals will kill a human in unarmed combat, anyone who fails to see this is fucking retarded. Humans use spears, traps, bladed weapon and other assorted shit to pull the rug from underneath bigger predators and kill them as sneakily and cowardly as possible.
This too, I think most of these fuckers muscle density is 4 or 8 times higher than a human. They'd their your fucking arm off. Unarmed we stand a very small chances of defeating them.
.... Wellll.... I'd say ALMOST... Any human.
I am going to assume that you do not know who Hafthor is, and that you are new to both this world and /fit/. A 98 lb Latina bitch, would literally be like crushing a plastic bottle, to Hafthor the unstoppable.
I realize this, dude. I posted it in ironic fashion...
I mean... Of course a Gorilla could out sprint Hafthor in the 100 meter dash, But we both know that he would out-lift those bitch-rilla's anyday, right?
Obviously you don't realize what Latina means, you spastic cunt. Latin decent. Latina. Use your uneducated brain.
Obviously you've never seen what someone with actual physical strength can do to just about anyone. The only time I would Bet against Hafthor in a street brawl is if he was up against maybe Fedor Emelianenko or Frank Mir or fucking Brock Lesnar, Someone of that Size, Strength and Skill level.
A 220kg adult male bengal tiger would easily BTFO one of those furry monkeys even if it didn't sneak up on them. Those arm strikes hardly even look lethal and tigers are extremely good at protecting their face from claws while fighting. Not to mention the gorillas whole head could easily fit inside the tigers jaws.
Although any gorilla would surely flee because they are also fucking terrifying when they get aggressive.
Are the Irish the same as Russians? Are Japanese the same as Chinese? Negroes the same as Africans? Your level of autism is deafening, is that you Blaha?
Go call a Puerto Rican girl a Latina to her face and see what happens.
>women want a zoo keeper to stop the gorillas from doing what gorillas do
>wants to spray them or something
M U R I C A N S
Autism alert. And unless you can load, aim and shoot it in the eyes or brain first shot while it's moving at 30mph and before it pulls your arms off you've got no chance, don't be delusional
Bear wins in terms of strength, weight, size and any other significant measure. Bears historically have always won every fight against any other animal in the Roman arenas. Bear, every time.
Don't be retarded, tigers struggle with taking down large humans never mind gorillas. The Romans also put tigers and lions against plenty of animals in the arenas and they lost often. Tigers aren't even the strongest nor deadliest of the cats, this is a nonsense.
No chance, he got fucked up pretty bad in just that last 10 seconds and you can see there was no chance he could overpower the monkeys grip. If that monkey had went full on he'd be dead or mangled in 30 seconds. Someone with really good grip strength might stand a better chance, but it's hard to fight when you have no skin or balls, and chimps are great at taking those away real quick.
>needing to load your gun
>not just keeping it loaded
>taking that long to aim
>thinking you need to shoot it in the "eyes or brain"
>They'd their your fucking arm off
wouldn't want them to their my arm off.
>Don't be retarded, tigers struggle with taking down large humans never mind gorillas.
You've got to be trolling me.
What you said about tigers is actually completely incorrect. I've studied history and its common knowledge that bengal tigers were always triumphant over adult lions and every other animals they made them fight in rome. Top kek if you actually believe they struggle with killing hominids.
>Bears historically have always won every fight against any other animal in the Roman arenas. Bear, every time.
Complete misinformation. You have literally no idea what you are talking about.
This guy would beat 99% of /fit/ in a 1 on 1 fight. No need to bother a gorilla bro
>Yeah, damned history and fact getting in the way of your opinions
> getting in the way of your opinions
> your opinions
You mean *my opinions
There's this little something called a tranquilizer.
But I agree with you, human should fuck off and stop bothering nature more than they already are in the zoo.
There gorillas were probably having some fun or a bro-rivality, they didn't even do much damage To each other.
>tfw you will never have some fun which would pulverise any person's skeleton with your bro
Full auto firearms take care of most reaction issues and it's no accident poachers use them in Africa.
Physical combat is what's left over when you fucked up and lost the advantage of surprise and firepower. Natural selection removes your dumb ass, then superior men with weapons kill what they like.
Strength is best used to carry weapons and ammo and equipment. That's why SF aren't naked roidmonkeys.
>Autism alert. And unless you can load, aim and shoot it in the eyes or brain first shot while it's moving at 30mph and before it pulls your arms off you've got no chance, don't be delusional
Why do we not get to already have the gun loaded and ready if the gorilla is, already in your scenario, sprinting at full speed.
Basically you set up any scenario that suits your needs for winning a pointless argument.
>he can't even snatch 2t0n
>video of man knocking out kangaroo
Also the chinese or some backwater country should have human vs animal fights. I'm surprised they don't already. Man vs chimp. Man vs orangutang. 10 chinese men vs gorilla.
It's like /k/ doesn't know that everyone thinks you're a bitch if you need a high powered, loaded, automatic weapon to solve every problem - even hypothetical situations. The bitch mentality they have is ridiculous.
> /K/ confirmed for never making it
You're all fucking retarded if you think a chimp handles a full grown man. Most attacks involve women, children, and the elderly. Oh and a lot of the time it's a gang of chimps that mutilate people. https://youtu.be/udGAapx7Gok
>the only feat for the gorilla is slap fighting another gorilla
Gorillas are the most hyped up and overrated animals on the planet. They showed an elephant carrying a tree and a bear flipping boulders but all the gorilla has to do is slsp another gorilla
What about pic related?
It's not about the muscles it's about how the muscles are connected, they have so much more leverage strength than humans.
They could rip your fucking arm off without breaking a sweat.
Nope, it is about the muscles. Gorillas have much, much denser muscle tissue than humans, additionally they lack motor control as fine as ours, resulting in a more 'retard strength' kind of deal as they can't use a specific amount of strength for each situation.
Ok here's why I could take a gorrila
I make a spear or trap, I kill the gorrila with my spear or trap.
Gorrilaboos blown the fuck out eternally
Also chimps aren't stronger
And gorrilas only maybe bench press one thousand pounds which at 450+ pounds isn't above human performance.
this is irrelevant but a bunch of 4th year dentistry students at my university were THIS CLOSE to getting expelled because, in a private facebook chat, they talked about wanting to hatefuck a girl in their class. there were literally protests and calls for them to be criminally charged.
The chimps looked like they were playing, and the guy didn't do anything drastic not to provoke them. Not sure what this video is supposed to prove.
What I'm wondering about, is wheather martial arts would help in such a fight. If you could put a lever on a chimp, would it work?
anyone who thinks a human would stand a chance against a chimp is an absolute fool. they have been known to fight and kill some big cats.
as soon as they got a hold of you they'd be tearing tendons and snapping ligaments. once you are inevitably on the ground they'll rip at your face and balls with their hands and teeth. even strong humans are still incredibly weak animals. and no martial arts will not help much, unless you can point out a martial art that focuses on fighting chimps.
fuck, it must be so fucking traumatic to be attacked by one of those insane little animals. they look like fucking demons or some shit especially without hair.
THE MOST EXXXXXXXTREME
SOME ARE MORE EXXXXTREME THEN OTHER
LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN GORILLA HE IS SO FUCKING STRONG
THINK YOU CAN TAKE HIM? WELL THINK FUCKING AGAIN
DONT WORRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION, WE MADE A MOTHERFUCKING TOP 10 LIST
there was a fight in cambodia in which 52 midget wrestlers took on a lion, the fight was stopped in 10 minutes after over half of the midgets were declared dead
get this: the government allowed it on the basis that they received a cut of the profit made on ticket sales
that's cause everyone knows how badass gorillas are so slapping one is proof enough. imagine of a gym buddy came up to you and said he slapped a gorilla. you'd know he can bench at least 4 plate.
>chimps don't know about defending their head and organs
this is wired into pretty much every animal ever
>chimps don't know about grapples
if you think a choke hold or a leg lock is going to even be possible against a jumping chimp, never mind actually be effective once applied, you are retarded.
face the facts. humans' resources vs chimps' resources in a fight like this just doesn't compare. yes, maybe the exceptionally coordinated, calmest, zen-est motherfuckers on the planet could manage to apply his human against human martial arts techniques against a ranging pile of muscle much stronger than himself, but these just aren't feasible fights. i can guarantee you that 999 times out of 1000, the chimp will win because it's much stronger, it is used to fighting, it doesn't feel fear in the way that humans do and its mechanisms used for self defense, physical and mental, haven't been robbed from it by mother nature, as is the case for humans.
stop being a retard now
>Lions attack at night
>Can't see shit
2/10 apply yourself
>protecting their head is wired into pretty much every animal ever
Not true. Look at OP's video, they charge literally head first, all offense 0 defense. Prime Mike Tyson would BTFO any gorilla.
Jesus you guys are retarded, that was playful aggression, he didn't even try to bite him. If that had been an actual chimp attack he would have bit his fingers off and gone right after his face.
This so much
I don't know why it makes me so mad
It's like a once in a lifetime event to see two powerful fucking things like that clash
Like ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED you stupid soccer mom bitch fuuugg >:DDD
fucking pisses me off seeing these magnificently built beasts locked in such a shitty enclosure, having weak little shits they could tear into pieces taunting and staring at them all day behind the safety of the glass
what, midgets are insanely weak, and they probably didn't have a battle strategy that was worth anything. what are you saying, of course the lion would win, its like asking whether a human could beat 52 mice. not that i'd ever want to do that, as i like mice and don't want to kill any mice, but you see what i mean.
Their jaws and head are huge and again structured differently, you land that one punch and then it bites into your neck and you're dead.
>chimps don't know how to grapple
They grow up play wrestling and also their natural body is IDEAL for grappling. Their arms get more leverage and their muscles are vastly different from a humans, they have enough strength to just ragdoll you dumb ass.
pits aren't particularly strong either other than pound for pound. just feels like they should be able to easily win if the midgets had no fear bu at least stalemate the lion cause neither one wants to attack.
you don't fucking understand humor you autist
LISTEN UP WEAKLING!!!!!!
I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT THESE FUCKING LIONS CAN SEE AT NIGHT!!!!! I FUCKING TOLD YOU!!!!!! HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU TO NOT BELIEVE EVERY FUCKING THING ON A FUCKING ANONYMOUS FITNESS BOARD!!!!! WHY SHOULD I LIE TO YOU RETARD!!!! FUCKING LIONS HAVE FUCKING LASER EYES AT NIGHT!!!!! AFTER THESE FUCKING FIGHT, SUNS ASSHOLE WOULD BE WIDER THEN THE FUCKING ANDROMEDA GALAXY!!!! THEY WOULD RIP A FUCKING BLACK HOLE IN SUNS BUTT!!!!!
AND NOW SHUT UP AND CRAWL BACK INTO THE BASEMENT YOU FUCKING CAME FROM!!!!!!!!!!!
nigga pleaze bork laser would fuck em up
I heard somewhere that a gorilla has the raw power to bench a car, but lack the correct bone structure to press that way so by ratio of mass to functional strength humans would out bench a gorilla proportionally. Does anyone know if this is actually true? or did someone cuck my mind?
Unlike slow ass heavyweights, Mountain Gorillas can actually dodge and not be taken down by a 130 pound bjj black belt. Not to mention they have incredible bite strength.
Pic related: Ufc heavyweight
get rekt faggots. tell me when a gorilla f5's a shark