>friend want's to get big but stay natty
>secretly sprinkle creatine over his broccoli
>friend wants to join gym
>misdirect him to isis boot camp
Probably could of hung himself on pullup bar with an inch of rope since he couldn't save himself even if he tried lel
>friend gets swole
>tell him to cut his hair to look more masculine
>cuts off his golden locks and takes it all off
>looks like a veiny penis when squats
>female friend makes me an alternative to a protein shake
>asks if its good
>smile and say yes
>its actually terrible
>3 years ago
>manlet NYR friend wants workout advice
>put him on soy bean/estrogen
>put him on SS
>direct him to /fit/ as source of 'wonderful advice'
>fast forward a year, his tortured body is deformed with a massive ass from all the squats, swollen gyno tits, and fits of emotional instability and crying from the estrogen, his anus has been expanded through use of squatting plugs (kek thx /fit/)
>in a moment of his emotional weakness tell him I love him and will protect him, and that maybe he's unhappy because he was "born a woman"
>he eventually agrees and undergoes full HRT, growing an even juicier tits and ass for daddy
>Already I tire of him though, debating fostering another NYR neophyte for my stable
>friend wants to destroy his spine and turn his cartilage to dust
>tell him not to do deadlifts
>friend wants to build muscles
>find him a gf so he would fuck off
>guy in squat rack
>been there for ages
>want to do my squats
>ask how many sets left
>have protein ass
>stand close to the rack and silently drop ass constantly
>dude is visibly upset
>leaves after 2 sets
>Walking down the gym..
>Asian guy is curling in the power rack.
>He smiles at me and offers a timid 'hello'.
>Smile back and give him a small nod.
>Jokes on him, I was really demonstrating the ancient hate-nod of Babylon, and I was actually wishing death on his family.
Stupid fucking asians don't even know about the hate-nod.