>friend want's to get big but stay natty >secretly

>friend wants to only eat incomplete meals

>secretly sprinkle bcaas over his snacks

>friend want to get /fit/

>start him on gomad

>friend wants to get big

>tell him to buy whey isolate

>friend wanted to meet girls

>told him to visit /fit/

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>>35665561
DEVILISH

>friend new to working out, anxious about embarrassing himself at gym

>tell him it's okay to yawn between sets

>>35665561

kek

>friend never been a gym before

>tell him its OK to train barefoot

>friend asks how to get abs
>tell him to eat healthy, lots of fruits, nuts and avocado.

>Friend is depressed
>Told him to do chin ups
>Couldn't even do one rep and now he killed himself

>friend sticks with training for one week

>invite him home for sauna and chill

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>friend wants to join gym

>misdirect him to isis boot camp

>>35665669
Kek

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>>35665662
Probably could of hung himself on pullup bar with an inch of rope since he couldn't save himself even if he tried lel

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>friend gets swole

>tell him to cut his hair to look more masculine

>cuts off his golden locks and takes it all off

>looks like a veiny penis when squats

>friend asks advice on protein powder

>tell him to buy the shit made out of soy beans for extra estrogen

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>female friend makes me an alternative to a protein shake
>asks if its good
>smile and say yes
>its actually terrible

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>>35665749
>3 years ago
>manlet NYR friend wants workout advice
>put him on soy bean/estrogen
>put him on SS
>direct him to /fit/ as source of 'wonderful advice'
>fast forward a year, his tortured body is deformed with a massive ass from all the squats, swollen gyno tits, and fits of emotional instability and crying from the estrogen, his anus has been expanded through use of squatting plugs (kek thx /fit/)
>in a moment of his emotional weakness tell him I love him and will protect him, and that maybe he's unhappy because he was "born a woman"
>he eventually agrees and undergoes full HRT, growing an even juicier tits and ass for daddy
>Already I tire of him though, debating fostering another NYR neophyte for my stable

>>35665844
DEVILISH~

>friend tells me hes begun to do weights

>does 100 reps of curls with 5lb dumbbells over a course of a day

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>friend wants to destroy his spine and turn his cartilage to dust

>tell him not to do deadlifts

>>35665901
link him rich's arm workout vids

>>35665917
This, don't be a gains goblin.

>friend does squats
>1/4 of ROM
>asks me how they look
>tell him thye look good

>>35665709
>being such a manlet that your head doesn't go above the pullup bar

You're right, he should've killed hinself

>friend tries to get in shape

>dont hear from him ever again

>someone asking for legit advice about lifting

>TIME FOR MISCHIEF

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>friend wants to build muscles

>find him a gf so he would fuck off

>>35666179
>willingly inflicting your friend with a gains goblin

too far m8

>guy in squat rack
>been there for ages
>want to do my squats
>ask how many sets left
>8
>have protein ass
>stand close to the rack and silently drop ass constantly
>dude is visibly upset
>leaves after 2 sets

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>friend is fit

>tell him to do ss+gomad

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>friend is scooby

>tell him to film without shirt

>Walking down the gym..
>Asian guy is curling in the power rack.
>He smiles at me and offers a timid 'hello'.
>Smile back and give him a small nod.
>Part ways.

>Jokes on him, I was really demonstrating the ancient hate-nod of Babylon, and I was actually wishing death on his family.

Stupid fucking asians don't even know about the hate-nod.

>>35665811
how did you know that your Cum is terrible?

>>35666308
leave immediately