Meanwhile, in ye olde /fit/...
>hath hoisted many o'year
>still have not aquired a fair maiden
Hold me bretheren
>late 1098, sieging city of Maarat
>Cold as fuark
>No food, ate horses two weeks ago
>Eat pagans for mad gains
Spring of 1099, thousands of swole-saders push through heathen ranks in stylized armor with 5% decorating helms and shields. Gainz increase with victories, as the dead are eaten for protien.
Do not be such despaired cunts brethren, for Ye Olde Scoobius Maximus is always watching
>tfw born into royal blood
>tfw my body fat complements my vast wealth
>tfw arranged to be married to a 9/10 qt3.14 virgin girl
>tfw my favourite uncle is taking me to the fields to pelt toiling manlets with rocks tomorrow
> year of our lord, Charles VII, 1453
> take the hand of a buxom wench in holy matrimony
> return from the Battle of Castillion to seek solace from defeat in the comforts of home
> blindsided to find that my maiden thought I had perished
> taken up with the tavern keep
> has given the bastard 2 sons
Yesterday I was high on lsd and pulled out my $50 Pakistani steel one handed shit sword and sharpened and started swinging it around. Found new, underdeveloped muscles. Proceeded to swing sword and jab for like 6 hours. Am now going to start lifting for battle effectiveness.