Meanwhile, in ye olde /fit/... >hath hoisted many o'year

>>35659896
>2016
>lifting for fuck pigs

Despair not, my bretheren. For we shall upon a time come, wherein we all have it made.

>>35659896
>Starting Sword and Gallon Of Ale A Day

>Searching for a maiden
>Not realizing that the sun is the truest maiden of them all

Praise it

>>35660712
Maidens cometh and go with great frequency. The sun will rise and fall for eternity. Praise.

>>35659896
>late 1098, sieging city of Maarat
>Cold as fuark
>No food, ate horses two weeks ago
>Eat pagans for mad gains

Spring of 1099, thousands of swole-saders push through heathen ranks in stylized armor with 5% decorating helms and shields. Gainz increase with victories, as the dead are eaten for protien.

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>>35659896
Do not be such despaired cunts brethren, for Ye Olde Scoobius Maximus is always watching

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>tfw born into royal blood
>tfw my body fat complements my vast wealth
>tfw arranged to be married to a 9/10 qt3.14 virgin girl
>tfw my favourite uncle is taking me to the fields to pelt toiling manlets with rocks tomorrow

>>35660787
>ITT: Tales from gentry who bare false witness

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>>35659896
> year of our lord, Charles VII, 1453
> take the hand of a buxom wench in holy matrimony
> return from the Battle of Castillion to seek solace from defeat in the comforts of home
> blindsided to find that my maiden thought I had perished
> taken up with the tavern keep
> has given the bastard 2 sons
> mfw

>>35660712
420 praise it

>my brothers and my kin
>be wary of the ways of witch and saracen
>for if your natty card you turn in
>you will follow the path of zyzz and be lost to the world of men

>>35659896
Yesterday I was high on lsd and pulled out my $50 Pakistani steel one handed shit sword and sharpened and started swinging it around. Found new, underdeveloped muscles. Proceeded to swing sword and jab for like 6 hours. Am now going to start lifting for battle effectiveness.