>tfw I'm DYEL by /fit/ AND IRL standards, but I act like

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>>35512427
Fuck you guys I got this

>>35512427
>shat my pants

AHA WHAT THE FUG

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>>35512668
Never mind ;(

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>>35512668
Fuck you too then, senpai

>>35512690
She just can't handle the bants

>>35512697
>schildpad.jpg

ga je nog tillen vanavond?

>>35512690

rekt

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Who would've guessed that initiating a conversation with a girl by telling her you shat your pants wouldn't end in sex

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No more tinder for me.

>>35512690

Thats what happens when you tell slashfit to fuck off you pleb. Next time be gracious enough to accept our help and maybe youll make some gains in the pussy dept.

>>35512769
Total fag if you don't want to fuck that.

>>35512779
>>35512700
>>35512697
Please forgive me senpais
How do I reply to this QT?

>>35512769
>tfw transgenders are becoming indistinguishable from actual women
>tfw afraid i might fuck a man someday without even knowing it

feels weird man

>>35512798
Stop being such a faggot. You know you want that boipucci.

>>35512798
Trans pussy looks pretty fucking bad

>>35512806
no thanks senpai
>>35512808
it might now, but what if that can also be fixed?

>>35512782
Stellar reading comprehension, m80

>>35512827
>it might now, but what if that can also be fixed?
I honestly don't get how they could manage to replicate natural vaginal lubrication. Fake pussies always require lube because they're basically healed open wounds.

>>35512808
desu I wouldn't mind fucking a dickchick if she was hot, but those are rare. what I get drunk and bring some ugly girl home only to find out her dick is bigger than mine
I'm >>35512798 btw. no homo

>>35512808
Its just a dry inverted dick

>>35512827
If a tranny is indistinguishable from a woman in every way, is it still a tranny?

>>35512828
>I'm completely unfamiliar with the concept of sarcasm
It's okay m8. No need to be upset.

>>35512769
>Canadian

There's always a dealbreaker

>>35512844

Only until she tells you her testicles are in a jar in her glove box

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>>35512842
nah, im that guy, the thought that the person you are about to fuck was once a man is vomit inducing for me

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What is this thing?

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>>35512867
DUDE

>>35512939
Probably just an ugly girl desu. No man's that short.

>>35512939
jesus fuck, remind me to never go to hamilton

>>35512867

I chuckled.

>>35512905
lolol, like anyone can't just modify the css and put a (You) next to my post. Nice try

>>35512949
>tfw 5'4"

>>35512975
aight senpai, fucking trannies still isn't my cup of tea, no hate if its yours tho desu

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Her bio said something like "My man has 2 jobs."

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>>35513004
>wanna fuck?

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>>35512975
>but why try this hard in a moldovan prohibition board

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>>35513004

>>35512867
Scared of little fur are ya bud?

>>35513004
>depends. what you offering?

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Is something wrong with me brehs?

I've gotten plenty of matches on tinder and I know I can chat these girls up and definitely lead it somewhere. But for whatever reason, I just pussy out and don't end up meeting them. I either unmatch or just make up an excuse and stop talking to them. Before anyone asks, no I'm not a virgin, I was in a relationship for the better half of last year and had a shit load of sex.

It's annoying because I see girls on the street and I want to have sex with them. But then again there's a something in the back of my head telling me not to have sex with random people. Am I fucked up? Am I really this insecure or is this a normal thing?

>pic unrelated (high-test queen)

>>35513123
It's millenia of genetic programing telling you not to fuck sloots off tinder.

>>35513123
You're just a pussy, anon.

>>35513029
> half asses things in order to have an excuse when things don't work out as expected
> thinks that's a good strategy in life

Okay champ, (you) win.

>>35513123
>tfw i've fucked 5 women from okc 2 years ago in one week

i deleted my account and cut contact with all of them, scheduled an STD test and came out clean.

never am i doing such a thing again, it felt really weird once i realized what i was doing.

i haven't had sex in months now and kinda wanna make a tinder account now but holy shit man i'm terrified as fuck, probably have the same mindset as you have now regarding this subject

>>35513123
Did you have trouble getting out of seeing your ex again? In my experience, this is what stopped me before, them being clingy and hard to get rid of with no hard feelings.

>>35513134
Alright
>>35513167
When you think about it, am I really? Is it really a good idea to have sex with a girl you really DON'T know.

>>35513188
>When you think about it, am I really? Is it really a good idea to have sex with a girl you really DON'T know.
Yep, definite pussy.

>>35512939
A girl that frequently posts on soc lmao

>>35513184
The break up wasn't bad actually. But she was a clinger, actually, and I cut off all contact when we did break up.

>>35513188
Best stick with family

>>35513193
Have fun getting STDs

>>35513201
Probably it, girls get really attached quickly in my experience.

>>35513213
Have fun not having fun.

>>35513215
Yeah, that's happened to one of my best friends multiple times, he made it clear he doesn't want a relationship or anything like that with the girls he was hooking up with and they agreed, but later on they still got salty about it and shit hit the fan.

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>>35512794
OP here
Pic related is the QT, how do I reply pls

man I wish tinder was a thing when I was younger

at 30 I dont see the point, regardless how fit or young I look. feels bad, man.

>>35513258
k

>>35513258
You don't. You move on.

>>35513258
That conversation is as dead as your chance of banging her.
Move on.

>>35513258
>you're hot. #?

>>35513258

"so are we fucking or what"

>>35513258
I want to rape you

>>35513258
I want to cut your head off

>>35513260
I guess. I'm 29 and had a gf for 9 years. Kind of glad I don't have to deal with any of that shit desu. Back in the day if I wanted to get laid i just went to a club and got drunk.

>>35513537

I look way younger but still, girls my age im trying to avoid cause they all want to get married.

I just want to have some fun, is that so much to ask?

>>35513258
Burn it to the ground. Hail Mary.

Its not over til she calls the cops.

>>35513123
Holy shit are you me?
>break it off with gf of 2 years.
>single for about a year.
>only have hookups when friends and their gfs play the whole matchmaking bullshit.
>have tinder, chat easily with babes on there, some of them blatantly want the D.
>for some reason never actually commit to meeting them irl.

Idk, maybe it's cause of the fact that I've never been a one night stand kind of guy, always find it more intimate when you really know the person you're fuggin. Or maybe it's cause my standards are way to high and I'm afraid I'll be disappointed when I actually meet them.

>>35513258
my dick just died, u mind if i bury it in ur ass?

>>35513644
>>only have hookups when friends
So what you're saying is you fucked your guy friends?

>>35512427

Not to be one of those wankers, but how is it physically possible that you can't squat 80kg for one rep? Do you mean for reps?

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>>35512745
Ik ga je moeder van me bed tillen vriend.

>>35513659
I wish. Its more of like they set me up with chicks they know or their girlfriends try to set me up with their friends, most of them female....although I have been fooled before...n-no homo.

>>35512427
>shat my pants

Keep going...

>>35513668
Obviously
I can squat 80 if I quarter squat it for reps

>>35512690
Fucking girls can't get into humor. This is exactly the reason I quit tinder. At least OkCupid chicks are smart enough to take the bantz.

>>35512745
>'s avonds tillen

>>35513766
Nah man, you got to dumb it down a lot. Theyre just not into advanced humor until they know what you are like normally.

Shit is too unpredictable for them when you first meet them

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>>35513791
This desu
Pic related

>>35513582
You can date girls as young as 21 at that age, I'm 24 and am not interested in marriage or kids

>>35513862
>^_^

fuck man kill yourself

>>35513883
Its being used ironically you autist

Pls have sex

>>35513258
Y-you too

>>35513862
>I'm bad at sex

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PAY TEN BUCKS FOR UNLIMITED SWIPES
SHIT DOESNT WORK ASKS ME TO GET A SUB EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY HAVE ONE
ASK TINDER SUPPORT FOR HELP
THEY STOP RESPONDING
STILL HAVENT GOTTEN NY TEN BUCKS BACK OR UNLIMITED SWIPED

>>35513791

This. Girls get humour. They have to. That's part of why men are so much funnier to begin with.

If she's not getting your jokes you don't get your audience.

>>35513258
When she shorts you, you gotta short her back. Reply with a single emoji of your choice. If she keeps talking then your in, if not it's all ogre.

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>>35513862
>I'm shit in bed but I own it haha

>>35513862

>using smileys

You are a bitch.

>>35513862
have you ever fucked a virgin? its fuckin horrible man

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>>35512939

>>35514043
Lol I know. It was within 11 km of me.

>>35512939
I'd go for it desu. Low self esteem is the bomb.

>>35513862
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude I don't even have enough trilby wearing images on my hard drive to signify just how fucking beta you just went

>haha I'm a stupid beta cuck who cant please a woman! Isn't that funny? p-Pls keep talking to me

>>35513862

Jeez that was so pathetic that it lowered my test levels

>>35513668
Hey faggot today im gonna squat 80 kg in a machine, never squated that weight again. Is it hard?

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This is how you do it senpai

>>35513123

I don't go fucking everything that walks because I don't want herpes or worse. Statistics have it that 1 out of 6 people has herpes.

Typically nightclub capacity is 1,000 people - think about that for a second. In a packed nightclub you're looking at 100 people having the herps in the same vicinity as you.

I found out my ex-gf was a stripper. Always had crotch itch after fucking her. Broke up with her psycho ass immediately. Washed my dick with Listerine and was tested every month for 6 months afterwards before accepting that I'm clean and it was cool to move on.

Fuck. That. Shit. Not worth it.

im a beta robot autistic lvl 999
where do i get classes for being an alpha? srs

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>>35514411

>>35514411
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/
http://lookism.net/index.php
http://illimitablemen.com/
https://www.reddit.com/r/The48LawsOfPower/comments/3tetjg/the_ultimate_dark_triad_reading_list/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeCV-XNeZIoHiCGfNYCLh9Q

>>35514461
>https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/
Simply epic, man.

>>35512769
You are married now?

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OP here
Round 2
>>35514326
>>35514249
>>35514181
>>35513951
>>35513910
>what is self deprecating humour

>>35514523
>what is self deprecating humour
Something people usually grow out of by the time they're 20.

>>35514539
Citation needed.

What is wrong to sarcastically make jokes about your performance in bed? I'm secure in myself m8

>>35514563
>I'm secure in myself m8
People who are don't make self-deprecating comments. The only ones who make them are doing it preemptively as a defense mechanism.

>>35514461
You forgot
Artofmanliness.com and
Returnofkings.com

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>>35514348
OH HELL YES

I was once so horny I decided to just swipe anybody and push up on the first person that I matched with for the night. Ended up being some ham planet that you could tell was fat but couldn't really be sure exactly how bad it is due to those stupid Facebook angles. She initiated conversation pretty quick and made comments about how she wants my large arms *el oh el they're only 16 inches* wrapped around her while she falls asleep on my chest. Asks me if I'm ok with the fact that she's a big girl, and tell her that I can probably still throw her around like a ragdoll. Says she doubts it but I push on , telling her I have a 360lb 5rm squat and I lift heavier things than her on a daily basis. She then sends me a frightened emoji and tells me I need to add a few more lbs to it to get it done. I abort mission. It appears the real joke was my 1rm the whole time. Not even good enough to fuck a fat chick.

>>35514649
This is a great post.

>>35514649
kek

>>35514400
>what is a condom

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>>35513188
Statistically, yes, but only without a condom. Due to people mostly living in the same community most of their life, a stranger is more likely to be from farther away thus potentially offering a higher genetic diversity for the offspring. You should fuck sloots on tinder for the sake of human evolution!

Or go back to pic related.

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Lmao ayy

>breaking out of skelly mode
>muscles aren't big enough to brag
>body fat not low enough for clearly defined abs
>face only pics haven't worked for me thus far

Is there any way to show off on tinder and give myself a better chance? I ain't even bothered for the lay, just a few right swipes that aren't bots. Is shirtless w/ jeans selfie too tryhard?

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>>35515000
>sees profile
>reads this

What are the odds that she has an STD by now?

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>>35515012
Went from 100 to 0 real quick

>>35514539
>self defecating humour

>>35515024
Last post of the conversation. Before someone calls me autistic because
>profitable sex
There was an earlier message saying that she's tired of having "meaningless sex", even though it feels good. I also had no intentions of fucking this one because daddy issues.

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>>35515050
Forgot pic, whoops

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>>35515000
>talk to me about game of thrones

>>35515024
That was never 100 lmfao

>>35514649
got me

>>35514649
Holy fuck that's good

>live in bumfuck nowhere central Florida
>only match with fat rednecks

>on family vacation in Panama city Beach
>in the span of 3 days have 4 girls down to fuck
>literally down to fuck, no questions asked
>had no car or way to get away from family

Tinder is 90% where you live

>>35514649
ayy

l
m
a
o

>>35515058
omfgomfgomfgomfg you are so gay

>>35513123

Because it's akward as fuck, meeting strangers with the sole intention of fucking...

I just act around them, as if they were my girlfriend, while being somewhat vocal about the nature of our relationship... It's nice.

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>>35512427

>>35515857
>omfg

Underagedb&

>>35514472
that's the best site that he linked faggot

enjoy your alimony

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>>35512427
WHAT'S HER SUPER HERO NAME /FIT??

>>35514649
Fug that was good

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>>35515867
>Polyamorous-Pansexual
>Coffeesexual

What the fuck is this world I live in? I don't even understand this fucked up shit what the fuck man.

>>35514649
If I wanted humor I'd read this post

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>>35515867
>I'm just here to chat

>>35513258
How about I give you the old lickaroo

>>35512798
How many girls have you had sex with?

You could have banged a post-op tranny without even knowing it.

I hope you haven't had any dark encounters where the "girl" suggested just doing anal.

>>35516226
>"girl" suggested just doing anal
You'd have to be pretty stupid not to suspect something right there and then.

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I love these tinder threads. Keep em cumming boys

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>>35514649

>>35512427
You were doing fine here, she invited you in her pants but then
>>35512668
you revealed you're a homo/you want to be the little girl and
>>35512690
you insisted like a turbo autist.

Learn to listen, rainman.

>>35515000
>Hannibal Lector
>Don't bring up my tits, see profile pic of just tits.

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>>35516710
>let's have an actual conversation

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This one gets good

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>>35516913
Part 2

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>>35516938

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>>35516949
I showed her didn't I /fit/? ... D-didn't I??

>>35512867
Hi Australia

>>35512427
How the fuck can telling a girl you shit your pants not turn her off?
WTF is wrong with women, seriously?
I handsome man can do or say literally anything & they'll still practically beg for his attention.

>>35516957
Sounds like you got BTFO hard and I ain't even joking.

>>35516980
You can't win em all and she was no prize either, just looked easy.

>>35517004
She looks fine desu senpai, so stop fronting.

>>35515909
Captain Planet

>>35516957
you got blown out bro

>>35516957
>>35516980
It seems he got technically BTFO to me too, but 2bh she looked like a turbo autist - on fucking tinder. It's like gettting BTFO by rainman arguing on the number of follicles in a human body whilst you were actually trying to have fun
So I'm not sure that it really counts as BTFO in the real non-autismal world

The final answer by him is the epitome of being butt-hurt anyway.. just stop replying, you're not going to win anything, only lose something more

>>35517019
Erin pls go and stay go

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>>35517019
On the left. She looks fine? Paper bag that please only good use for her is doggy style.

>>35516957
You got crushed like the frail little faggot you are

>>35516957
she fucking rekt you m8

>>35517064

>22

christ, she looks 50

>>35517064
She looks fine, but she also looks like she'll burn your possessions if you break up with her. She has crazy-eyes.

>>35517064
Well, if you're asking if she's a 10, she's not, but she looks fine. She didn't lie on the profile either, and while I don't care much about Kenny Chesney or Jason Aldean, she did show a bit of sass and smart ass while blowing you the fuck out so props to her for being honest I guess. As for you, I suggest you apply some ointment to your anus and move on :^)

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>>35517025
holy fukken

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>>35517098
>>35517096
>>35517080
>>35517073
>>35517067
>>35517062
>>35517055
>>35517019
>>35516980

>>35514348
H-ha ha rape jokes mirite?

>>35517149
>>>/t/umblr

>>35516957
[] checked
[x] wrecked

>>35517025
hahaha fuck i am way to tired to handle this

>>35514249
Top kek

>>35516957
My dear god, you had her good and then you absolutely RUINED yourself. I would say don't procreate but you got that covered, goddamn

>>35517213
savage

>>35517157
>>35517213
See>>35517132

>>35516226

Here in Salt Lake, UT this happens all the time. Silly mormon girls.

>>35517327
>fucking religious nutbags
A clear and resounding, "No."

>>35517149
wasn't really a rape joke

>>35514348
You didn't sex though.

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fucking paola pls

ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE HOMOEROTIC TINDER THREADS WHERE THE FILIPINO MONG WOULD POP UP AND WE'D CALL HIM UGLY REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35517542
anybody else love it when girls play hard to get when they know damn well they want to fuck. and when they do give it up; oh man is it glorious.