Too poor for school
Too poor for a shrink because I want to kill myself
Too poor to buy DNP to speed up my cut
Too poor to afford to kill myself(No place to hang myself, too poor for a gun, too poor and social anxiety riddled to find drug dealer to buy drugs from to kill myself with, too poor for a helium tank)
Too poor for my own cell phone to apply for jobs with,
Too poor for new clothes to go any job interview with.
Too poor to go to a gym and lift with free weights rather than the machines I've been using.
What the fuck do I do?
I don't want to endanger other people, that's wrong.
I used to apply a lot but I gave up because I realized no one he is gong to hiring human garbage like me.
I wish I could get welfare or neet bucks
That's because of my mother, who takes care of me.
Rude, I just can't stop my brain from being wired wrong. Try to understand me please.
Do you have any suggestions?
Not in my apartment, trust me.
listen up you little bitch, i don't know if you're trolling or genuinely just a little bitch but seeing as you wrote this on channel four forums you have SOME access to the internet and perhaps even a laptop, also seeing as you wrote this in proper english why aren't you doing ghostwriting or random freelance writing to make SOME cash, it doesn't take long, it's not hard, it just takes dedication.
Now listen, bitch, stop looking for excuses and start making a portfolio (plenty of sites to do that for free), nobody will ask you to do video convos or anything, you get info - you compile that shit into an article or an e-book whatever they want.
if you're too stupid/whatever to do that you take your best jacket, your best shoes, patch that shit up, wash that shit up and go from house to house from company to company asking to do ANY work, dig trenches, rake leaves, do anything. Once you have some capital you can invest into your looks and look for an actual job.
of course if you've got confidence you can go just look for a job, i know people that look like they rape goats daily and never wash and still got jobs, no excuses.
>I don't want to endanger other people, that's wrong.
me again, jump off a secluded building or a high bridge into water, no people around. stop making excuses not to do it and admit you arent actually suicidal at all.
You expect to drive into the city, go to tall building that's some how empty and security guard less, to magically unlocked top floor and roof and jump off?
Come on dude, give me a realistic way please.
>Not in my apartment, trust me.
Go out, find a tree. Jump out of the window if you live high enough. Go to a railway, wait for a train and jump in. Cut your wrists open along the veins from elbow to the wrist.
Just a few first that come to my mind. Literally endless possibilities
bridge. a big one. alternatvly jump in front of a train, it wont harm anyone on board it. i also refuse to believe you dont have a belt or and rope to hang yourself with and have no means of getting them when you are currently posting on the internet. i'm more and more convinced this is some retarded attempt at a bait thread where no one is the target for triggering and we all sorta post here awkwardly until it 404s
what books do you read?
Id suggest you read some books first, get your head out of 4chan wiring and into something intelligible and useful.
Some stoicism and Think And Grow Rich would be a good start. Even the Bible if you feel that lost, or some ancient epics to really get you inspired.
You need to freak out whenever you want to waste time on here.
You need to freak out that there's so many possibilities but sitting and crying is your easiest choice.
You need to freak out whenever you're not making movements away from this shitty time in your life.
Stop reading the internet. Read a good fucking book.
It will transform your life.
Yeah, books will totally help if your brain chemistry is fucked.
And reading those ancient epics about heroes doing cool stuff while your only options are getting a job flipping burgers or getting a job working in a warehouse will only make you feel more shitty.
putting a more scientific approach to this, you want to kill yourself, do you not have ambition to see what the world will be like in ten or twenty years?
I was somewhat considering suicide but damn, twenty years ago nobody could even guess what's coming, my personal ambition driver was curiosity, I wanted to see what was about to come, the good, the bad, the lulz.
Now if you're truly depressed that may be caused by your malnourishment, as you say you have no money, how do you feed yourself?just curious.
Of course it can be a proper chemical imbalance depression but fuck, when I was living in public spaces and eating six times a week three years ago i felt my brain fucking up, not only I was thinking only about food I couldn't muster any processing power my brain had even six months ago.
Even if that's the case humans have great control of their brain, I am not sure if that is what I did but I consciously told myself that the only way to end the hunger was to get money, and to do that I had to be effective and I was not effective when not motivated.
Can you get hyped over nothing?
If you can't practice it, you can force that dopamine to be made.
Of course my story was a bit different, I got the cash for my first rent via dangerous means, would not suggest, but hey I was starving and risk was worth the reward.
Don't surrender, find what motivates you and seek it. I don't want to sound naive here but every person is a hero in their own story. Ending it in a suicide would be anticlimatic.
I'm not OP but I live in a brazilian slum and work 10 hours a day in a shitty job, I am at it right now. I don't earn half what Americans call minimum wage. I need government welfare to afford food so yeah some people have it bad and calling other people a loser or faggot on the internet first make you tough I'm fact you sound like spoiled brats who had it all from the start. You never had to count pennies for food, you always had daddy and momma pay your.bills as a kid and so on. You never had genetic disorders etc. So yeah. Ignore those incomprehensible barbarians, OP. What really matters is that we believe in Christ
Personally recommending Moby Dick, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and The Art Of War.
But feel free to look for anything that you want.
As I said, I definitely think you should read Think And Grow Rich and some type of epic.
Now get to fucking work, because this universe owes you nothing and your mission is to work with that.
You'll get NOTHING until you go and take it. So go.
>Yeah, books will totally help if your brain chemistry is fucked
Yes, actually. If your chemistry is fucked then the internet is the last place you need to be, it is the antithesis to stability patience and focus.
Books change wiring thus chemicals. Go fuck yourself you depressive whiner.
>tfw already a millionaire by inheritance
feels good mang
>I can't stop my brain from being wired wrong
Except you absolutely can. The brain is 100% capable of rewiring you fucking idiot. Stop being such a whiny bitch who plays the victim card
>I'm helpless boo hoo
Shut the fuck up there are solutions for every problem you have and they are very easily identifiable as plenty of other anons have already pointed out but you just want a circle jerk of people reinforcing your pathetic mindset. Get off your ass faggot.
How do books change wiring?
Have you ever read a book in your life?
Are you literally a 5 year old?
Sit your ADD-riddled ass down and read a book for 30 minutes, come back and report results.
After that, find Google and do your own research.
I know people say this every generation, but fuck, the next generation is actually going to be a total wreck.
Before things went south I was living in a university dorm, it was cheap and of course I was not attending any lectures or seminars so It was only a matter of time until I was kicked out.
Of course i knew that but I played vidyagames 15+ hours a day. Got some money off of my parents but that only fueled my tobacco and alcohol habits. Weed was priority over food. Stealing food from the dorm was the norm. Since i spent nearly three years there I knew when everybody went to their respective lectures, how to pillage their fridges and of course I never took everything.
My roommates were onto me, seeing only booze, bread and yoghurt in the fridge but ti was okay. This part of the story is important because I kept changing dealers to get better prices.
Later when I got kicked out I crashed with my friend's mum for a month and all I did was look for a cheap appartment, but everything was above my budget.
Now that I think about ti even then I had sort of a plan, certain playgrounds that are half abandoned with places to stay, covered by trees, kindergarten playgrounds were the best, neat and tidy, just had to wake up at 6:30 am so the teachers wouldn't notice me.
This was the start of summer 2013 and all I had was an inflatable pillow, three sets of clothes, laptop, a sleeping bag and some rations I got for free.
Money ran out, looking for a job was hard but winters here are harsh and I knew I had three months top, so the deadline always breathed onto my back.
Then I contacted the weed dealers and started doing shady stuff for them, at first it was just delivery stuff, and all I asked for was a bit of bud. I didn't smoke that shit though, I stacked it up, selling it made me some very needed cash but that was not enough too, I learned to (somewhat) drive in two with two different cars: one was left unlocked by a drunk guy the other was my ex-coursemates (scared shitless basically stealing a car on the first one).
M8 I read a lot, but just don't find it particularly useful or helpful. It's just entertainment.
Sure if someone has problems focusing this might be somewhat useful, but not every depressed person suffers from ADD.
Then, without proper skills, or a licence I delivered weed to the outskirts of the town and picked it up from the smugglers/growers.
Which were gypsies. If you non-europeans are not aware they are the super-niggers of europe. They were always haggling with me, while brandishing guns, it was scary and dangerous but eventually (in three weeks) i made enough for my first rent. I continued that work for two more weeks then stopped. I had around 100 dollars worth of extra money and used that to buy worn but tidy looking clothes and found a job until autumn came.
A lot of stuff happened since, but had I lost hope or my cool at any point there I would be dead. I guess getting shot by gypsie drug dealers would have been a funny way to end a life but when faced with the prospect of actually dieing it doesn't look "as appealing".
fun fact: you can shave yourself in the bathrooms of malls as long as you have a pair of scissors you disassemble and sharpen the blade on the pavements, use the soap and are careful enough.
I guess i had more resources than the usual bum, as in contacts and such, but starving is not fun.
Become an artist on the edge of sanity. Start doing street performances until people start filming you. Once you start living for the idea of becoming a famous actor, you'll be able to get a job.
You're not like OP then. Dude is fat but says he's too poor to get clothes for an interview. He's on 4chan but says he can't educate himself.
He needs to focus his energies, desperately. He wants an easy way to do this, but he needs to understand there is no easy way to do it, and he just has to accept and embrace the pain.
Books will be the segway between the internet and real life, then he can go and tackle real life and use the books as his respite. No more internet. Not now.
Will he do it?
Only he can DECIDE.
Why don't you attempt to make some money rather than complaining on an anonymous asian caligraphy inspired forum?
It's getting to be winter, so depending where you live shoveling snow, pulling ice from rooftops, etc will all be available for quick cash without a major commitment.
Also too poor to suicide is extremely dumb. There are literally bridges and sharp corners everywhere, and anything can be a noose. Also killing yourself is retarded, why not just go try hard at anything possible to better yourself first? Sounds like you're just doing nothing and asking other people to solve your problems for you.
Yeah, I'm not as tragic as OP (who's only attention whoring desu). I'm not even suicidal, just go through mild depressive episodes every now and then. But I can honestly say I enjoy life, even when at my shittest.
OP, if you can't see a psychologist, look into mindfulness and other cognitive and behavioral therapies. In particular, I think you will benefit from cognitive restructuring. I would strongly encourage seeking out a competent clinician, as that would yield the greatest treatment gains.
I think it will also be very important for you to be aware of the many reifications that are clearly having an influence on you. Strongly consider this notion of making it, and what it actually means to you. What is making it, and why do you have to make it?
I also suggest reading some existential literature. If you mature enough to consider such things, even when you are uncomfortabledoing so, I'm sure you'll have a more accepting perspective and have an easier time finding meaning in your life.
I see this kind of tread every day. It's always some guy whining about some stupid shit and when /fit/ gives him advice he says he is human garbage, worthless and that his brain is wired wrong. Probably /r9k/ spillover.
Thanks guys, I want to get better and since you guys are so honest here's my pics:
Should I cut or start trying to bulk or recomp or etc? Be as harsh as you need to be, I know my body is terrible tier. Should I also post this in the CBT?
Also my ass sags. The trifecta, any advice please.
If you have access to a computer you can apply for jobs, and you have some clothes that's not disgusting. If you're actually as poor as you say, take advantage of the many social programs specifically designed for people like you to find employment in sanitation or some shit like that. Otherwise, this just sounds like somebody with social anxiety making excuses.
You need a job.
Which means you need to take a good look at what you need in order to get one.
Write one, and write it well. There are tons of forms and advice to get free on the web - which you seem to be able to afford. Don't be afraid to make a thing or two up while writing it, I sure as hell would if I was in your situation.
This means the way you dress and act. Read up on the ques of body language and the art of nailing an interview and just find the best thing you can wear with the money you have. Get a haircut or have a friend fucking buzz it if the alternative is unkempt pleb.
I saw the pics. Shit son. You did well by coming here atleast, I'll let the sticky and the rest of the anons handle it but DO NOT BULK. Eat less and do bodyweight training if you are too poor for the gym.
Start hating yourself and use the anger and loathing to propel yourself forward in tough situations. Works for some of us, for a short period of time. May cause you to become a facist once you suceed and gradually heighten your standards.
Stop with the sob shit dude my goodness....
There are many ways to help yourself. Fight against your brain. Snap out of this crap. You wasted all this time here you could've been squatting to get an ass.
I'm manic depressive but haven't let my cloudy days pull me to the bottom of the sorry pit. Stop it.
There's help everywhere if you need it, you just have to get your whiny depressed ass together and go look for it.
>boohoo im poor everything is expensive
1. Beg/Hitchhike to a rural ass state with no food/clothing tax
2. Work as a farmhand for several years and save up money
3. try the city again if you want to have another go at making it big
Too stupid to realize you're saying "too poor" to every problem in your life rather than taking some fucking responsibility like a man. Get a fucking job you piece of shit if it's such a huge problem. No not having a phone or "new clothes" is not an excuse. Are you fucking homeless or something? No? Then shut the fuck up and get a job.
>Too poor for school
Well you obviously have access to the entire library of human knowledge that is the internet in order to be able to shitpost here, so that's irrelevant.
>Too poor for a shrink because I want to kill myself
You're too much of a pussy to do it either way so that's irrelevant too.
>Too poor to buy DNP to speed up my cut
Oh you're too poor to cut but not too poor to overeat huh.
>Too poor to afford to kill myself
>Too poor for my own cell phone to apply for jobs with,
We both know you wouldn't be applying for dick no matter what your resources were.
>Too poor for new clothes to go any job interview with.
>Too poor to go to a gym and lift with free weights rather than the machines I've been using.
Lift a fucking rock. They do it in Africa.
>What the fuck do I do?
Stop wasting my time trying to pretend any of this is valid. Sort your shit out or jump off a building.
make a t handle kettlebell
sprints/hill sprints/weighted sprints
make a military sand bag
-50lb bag of sand 4 bucks
-military duffelbag 20 bucks or less
Step One: Get job
Step Two: Save money
Step Three: Buy in bulk on a budget (Go to Costco or Sam's Club, buy HIGH CALORIE DENSE foods in bulk and EAT them
Step Three and a half: Sign up at a gym, find the cheapest one you can and lift
Step Four: Repeat steps until jacked and strong
Step Five: Get a job promotion or find a better job
Step Six: Save up more money
Step Seven: Buy essentials (smartphone, better clothes, etc)
Step Eight: Get semi decent office job
Step Nine: Save up MORE money
Step Ten: Find a flexible education program that fits your schedule, even if it's fucking community college and you get an associates degree, just GET EDUCATED
From here on out, keep saving your money, hitting the gym, educating yourself and work your way up the ladder. You can do it, anon
And then, when you have a lot on your account and reached the top of the ladder (or near top) you have my permission to die.
Literally life of a drone. Better find some purpose and goal, because saving money and focusing on work sucks dick.
Actually it's better to earn just enough to satisfy your needs and actually have a life instead of being obsessed with saving and getting promoted. Also, it's very unlikely to actually become rich when being employed and not running a business.