Have you ever had any accidents at the gym? I'll share mine
>Crushed my ring finger putting a weight back on the rack
>Puked out my protein shake while on the stairmaster
>Activated the Lunk Alarm after I accidentally dropped weights
>Pooped a little while doing squats
>Was told by staff to calm down or leave after singing along to Silence Is Deafening by Napalm Death
>decide to incorporate some box jumps into my leg day because I'm fucking stupid
>fuck up jumping off the box and I scrap my shin against the box and tear off a chunk of skin
>limp up to the front desk and ask for a bandaid like a fucking dahhot
>Barbell got wedged between wall and machine.
>Try to pull it out.
>Smacked myself in the face with barbell.
>Ending up bleeding everywhere and almost passed out.
>Wore a bruise and stiches of shame across my forehead for an eternity afterwards.
>People in the gym now call me 'Smack head'
>All the newbies think I'm a fucking junkie.
>Doing dumbbell bench
>Didn't notice someone left one on the ground near my bench
>Tried to put down the weight
>Bloody and broken middle finger
This happened about 2 months ago. Wanna join the military, will they shit bricks over this?
Nigga if you haven't even started talking to a recruiter you're at minimum 6 months away from going to basic.
>currently enlisted in the US GAYVY
One time I joined a gym, hadn't done much physically in years. I started feeling ill so I sat down on the floor. Next thing I know, I'm coming to after having passed out and slumped forward onto my face.
I must not have been out for very long because nobody noticed.
Well golly god damn, I need to get on that
And cheeki breeki
Be sure to have a rate / MOS / job in mind before you go to the recruiters. And if you're a dumb ass, study for the easy as piss ASVAB so you can get a high score so all the jobs will be available to you.
Most of the branches websites have all of their rates / MOS's / jobs listed on there for potential recruits. Understand that recruiters have quotas to fill, and if you don't have any clue as to what you want to do than they will throw you in some shit job that the military big wigs say they need more of.
Keep exercising, do your cardio, do your push ups, sit ups, pull ups, and for fuck's sake if you can't swim start learning now.
And if anyone else wants joining the welfare queen services just ask, I'm going to be here for a bit.
>protein before working out
>standing calf raise in power rack
>walk it out
>too far forward
>bar crashes down
>thought it might break the rack
>it crushed my soul instead
are u a gril
are u army / usmc
if u are navy, did you join undes
Neat. Question though, why are there so many autists in the regular army ranks? I thought the marines were going to be full of them when I joined, but most of them are just dudebros. Army on the other hand, boy howdy, not to say I haven't met cool army folk, it's just a lot of em are autistically inclined
All soldiers are dumb Autistic mouthbreathers. Otherwise they would have gone to college and done something fruitful with their lives instead of bombing women and children with drones
>forgot i had boxers on and it was leg day
>ripped them from the crotch to the buttcrack, all the way down the middle
>went to do leg press after
>people walking by give weird looks
>realize they can see my balls
When I was 10 years old I knew I wanted to join the military. I put soldiers in a pedastol in my mind that they did no wrong, that they were the good guys.
Even in the initial training months my view was disrupted with reality. People I wouldn't trust to tie their boots without severely injuring themselves or bystanders were now wielding weaponry capable of destroying anything one could imagine. That was probably when I first learned that there are retards in all branches.
I don't mind the dumb ones, just the softies.
Nurse popping in again to say it depends on a bunch of stuff. We have to be relatively normal with patients every damn day, so, besides me, there's like two weirdos.
But this cryptolinguist drop out-turned-nurse I know describes a world of autism to me, a world he fled.
>accidentally up the weight too much on squat
>fail on 3rd rep, lose balance and initiate the dance of my people
>drop weights on lift side which bends the fuck out of the clip
>Barbell ricochets to the right
>Whole upper floor looks at me
>Coughed, lowered weight and did the rest of my sets
>be 18, fatasfatass, 325lbs
>No idea how to in to gym or lose weight
>Spend 3 hours every session wandering around different machines, achieving nothing
>qt personal trainer, about 20 years old, 8/10 always talking to me which is nice since I dont really spill spaghetti
>Shes trying to upsell her shit and offers me a free training session
>Sure why not, its free, whats the worst that can happen
>Few days later, have my free session with her
>15 minutes in to spin bike warm up and Im already struggling
>Dont want to mention anything because that would make me look like a faggot
>She designs a workout that is essential a circuit of machine weights, done with no break between each one
>Do first one, no problem, Do second one, no problem
>Start third machine - shoulder press. Do a few reps, have to move the weight down which was embarrassing
>Few more reps, have to stop
>Vision going blurry
>Try to stand up
>Come to, lying on the floor, with a group of people around me
Thats how I fainted in front of 8/10 qt as well as gym full of people after less than 20 minutes of moderate cardio.
>2 months of doing SS going great
>finished squatting going to do rows
>was taking the weight off(20kg plate) but for some reason I think it's far in the bar but is actually in the tip so gravity sets in and I don't have time to react
>hits my big toe
>hurts a bit
>try to finish workout but pain begins to settle in
>ask pt if its broke,says yes gets some ice and asks if I need an ambulance
>"nah" and just walk/jump 3 flights of stairs(forgot about the elevator)
>go to doctor, broken phalange or some shit and 8 weeks out
not fun at all to use crutches
>spicy meal last night
>barbell rows for a new PR, clenching dem abs like a motherfucker
>old dude is slowly making his way across the room behind me
>last rep and I clench to the max to make it, as the bar hits my chest I let rip the fart to end all farts - remnants of spice and anus blast forth from my sphyncter, and a cloud of noxious gas fills the air to the sound of Odin's thunderclap.
>pretend like nothing happened while the guy tries to pull himself off the back wall
Dropped a 45 pound plate on my bare foot. (1 year ago)
>Took 2 weeks off of the gym because exams
>Doing deadlifts in socks
>After 4th set of diddies my legs are shaking
>as I'm racking a metal 45 on 2nd rack my hand slips
>surprising it didn't hurt because I was in shock
>Guy next to me gave me a wierd look bc i was laughing at my own injury
>changing the leg machine from extensions to curls
>must have misaligned the pin
>go to lay down and the machine collapses
>smash face into machine
>finger gets pinched and smashed
>get up look around
>only 1 person there and he is an asshole which I dont care about his opinion
>get a little angry and rip machine back into place
>place the pin in
>do my sets
>next day find out machine is broken
>I ripped up on it so hard when I was angry I jammed it got stuck in leg curl mode.
It's pretty shitty that as your trainer, the whole incident was entirely her fault but because you were a fatty everyone just demeans you and says "well thats what you get for being fat!"
I stuck with her for about 6 months. Once she realised my level of fitness (or lack of) it was fine. But it was quite a horrible incident. More so the actual feeling of fainting than the embarrassment of it as well. It felt horribel.
Made some decent cardio progress with her but gave up on that shit once I learned a little on my own and realised she didnt know a thing about lifting.
Don't know how other militaries operate, but I'm a US army airborne fag; the recruiters cant legally access your private medical files, so they leave it up to the honor system. I had asthma for 18 years according to my medical history. When they asked me? nope. never brought it up again
shit bruh, you remind me. twice this happened. be doing over head press. vision goes black, muscles go weak and numb, about to faint. through sheer willpower, pull myself out of it and pretend nothing is wrong. fight through and pump out a couple reps so i dont look stupid having picked up weight just to drop it. think it was cuz as i was pumping myself up, i was hyperventilating and that does some shit or something
>first day ever at the gym
>super fat ass, 280lbs
>figure I'll start slow and begin with the bike
>10 minutes in my ass doesn't feel right
>shrug it off and do 20 more minutes
>go home and I'm in so much pain
>check my ass, huge hemroid sprouted right at the entrance
>on the verge of tears whenever I walk, sit, or shit for the next 1-2 weeks
Didn't discourage me, thankfully. I was safer and stuck with it, losing close to 100lbs.
>dumbbell Row, warmup with 50 lb dumbbell
>not paying attention, pull too hard
>dumbbell hits ribs
Really fucking stupid injury, but it put me out for a while. It hurt for weeks to breathe/sit up, let alone lift weights.