how do I get mired like in pic related?
> mirin stories
>tfw you have a mirin story but you're not sure if the person who mired you also uses /fit/
>tfw you mired someone who might browse /fit/ and you are waiting to see their mirin story on here
>Go to NYE party
>everyone on /fit/ would call me a DYEL
>I'm like a small otter so I was the most muscular guy at party
>all kinds of girls mirin
>probably has more to do with being handsome, well dressed, and a cool guy tho
>make out with some random chick
>she tells me I have a girlfriend
>>Oh shit, you're right
>tell my gf
>too drunk to care
>go chill with some more people
>bros want me to funnel a beer
>just FYI I can chug a beer faster than a Veyron does 0-60
>same girl I made out with walks in front of me while im sitting on couch
>pull her onto my lap
>she feels my chubby erection
>sits next to someone else
>I rub her vagina through her pants
>go drink some more
>gf passes out on couch
>I go sit by her so no guys try to rape her
>the girl who I groped keeps laying her head on my shoulder and her sister keeps pulling her away
>she keeps coming back like a stray who got fed
>finally push her away by giving her a palm strike to the face
>gtfo you're like a 7/10
>some guy gets buck with me
>I pull his pants down and shove him
>he asks me if we can be cool and I say yea
>smoke some weed and go to sleep
>manage to score an uber right before my phone dies with no charger
>get back to my gf's grandparents house where we were staying
>gf's 15 year old little bro snuck a 14 year old JB in
>tfw she's hot as hell and he banged her
>kinda jelly but at the same time mirin
>gf forgot the convo we had about me cheating on her last night
>until her friend texts her
>we fight about it
>awkward 8 hour car ride home
>med student interning at hospital
>been following a patient's case for the last two weeks
>middle aged widow, mother of 3
>caught her mirin a few times
>get a call from a nurse
>hey anon, it's patient's birthday today
>she invited you to her "party"
>think it's some prank
>mfw they're serious
>I don't live far away from the hospital so I go there
>she is so happy because I'm attending her little hospital get together
>I joke and say I'm sorry I didn't bring you any presents
>she says I could give her one right now
>asks me to take a picture with her so she will remember me when she gets discharged
>get ready for the picture
>she asks me to take off my shirt for the pic
>I take my shirt off (qt nurse is mirin)
>for that second she looked like the happiest woman on earth
I'll contribute. As with most people on /fit/ I'm dyel by /fit/ standards, but still look pretty decent compared to the average dadbod faggot.
>be at party with big titty chick, wouldn't say cute, but big titties
>party quiets down
>tits invites me and her friend who I hooked up with two years ago up to her room
>she tried to make us feel awkward but I am too drunk and it doesn't work
>my buddy shows up
>we all drink some more
>tits goes into her closet and come out with a flashlight thing
>I investigate what she's talking about
>she invites me into the closet
>some bull shit flashlight with planets on it
>we make out, knocking all clothes to ground
>clothes come off
>Myron Pecs M.D. (my d**k)
>"Are you like some kind of personal trainer?"
>no I just have ten scoops of peanut butter before bedtime
>violent make out and I try to escalate
>we move from closet to bed (the others have since left the room)
>more clothes come off
>I start fingering her
>look up and she's passed out
I bail after I get a call from the friend, weird night.
when is it my turn to get mires like this
Sure it's not the first time I'm posting it, but it was my most memorable mire. Pretty much every other instance is about being hit on by sloots. And everytime I post that there are some anons who haven't read it so why the fuck not.
Besides, these threads are filled with pasta anyway.
Maybe jelly would help you bring out those veins a little. Bitch.
Yeah, because definition with the veinage of a fat munchkin kid looks great. Fuck off, retard. You know you have no veins either. You fucking worthless subhuman. You fucking cocksucker. I'd fucking smack you in the face in front of your girlfriend's fucking family. Do you understand? Fuck. Off.
can we have spaghetti stories too?
>doing the diddlylifts in corner of gym
>I do it there because it's away from everyone like a normal human being would instead of doing it in the middle of the fucking free weights
>alone most of the time
>girl in grey leggings comes in with her tank top on acting like hot shit because she has an ass and notices everyone alreeady looking at her
>whatevs just keep doing deads
>notice her between sets looking my way , can't tell if mirin
>go to get a drink and notice she's pretty close to the bar I'm using
>don't really think of it
>start setting up for a set
>set up, bend down, look up...
>she's literally placed herself right in my face like to the point I can't lift the bar without bumping into her
>she's completely oblivious that my face is basically near her ass
>instead of standing back up like a normal human I let go of the bar still in stance, tap her on the hip and tell her if she can move forward a little
>she freaks out not realizing how close she was and apologizes and moves forward
>she begins doing good mornings
>we are literally staring at each other now through the mirror
Everybody pack it up and go home.
>Forever mirin m8
clearly never had to cut weight before
After dehydrating yourself for so long you lose considerable amounts of fat and muscle. You can hardly call a weight you have to cut to "optimal"
>Be at Army gym
>taking nasty dfac shit right now as I type
>on bike earlier for those knee cartilage and cardio gains
>qt army chick in yoga pants walks in before me with like 10 dudes and another girl
>qt comes and sits right next to me on bike after checking me out as she walked by at first
>she's playing with her hair and all of that
>I'm in no fap this year
>primal urge at maximal must implant my seed in qt whores with fat white high test asses
>don't say a word y-yy-o-u tooo in my non neurotypiCal mind
>have a long term gf at home.... and there goes my excitement
>go to main area doing decline weighted crunches because lol pt test
>qt still mirin
>goes to her dumb beaner guy friend who's by me flailing around trying to do dips
>he's beta as fuck
<Mfw she wants a coach and she has her juicy pawg ass practically over me as I do my crunches
>muh dick muh homeland muh fertile seed fuckkkk
>she continues to wander around nervously at the gym looking for exercise help
My sweet qt army daddy issue nymphet is still out there brehs
I could be teaching her atg low bar squat with all of the dumb beaners and negus watching as larry byrd the great white hope spots her going deep.
But no, I have a gf and my ass hole is on fire as I type.
Will I ever make it? Why do I have a moral compass?
>tfw fat fuck, 220lbs, down from a fuck ton more
>older (30 something, i'm 22) but still qt coworker with big ol titties working with me
>mentioned my muscles like 4 times today
>bum a smoke from her, she kinda shit talks me while we're out alone together
>for example, mention that we have the same lighter(that has orange/blue design on it), she calls me gay
>shrug and say that I don't care what my lighter looks like, because 99% of the time I use it is when I'm smoking weed at my house
>she sees me snapchatting
>takes my phone and adds me
>talking to another girl, telling her about a shitty customer
>olderqt is in the area, just out of earshot, says "what?", tell her not to worry about it cause I don't feel like repeating the story
>she playfully smacks my stomach with the back of her hand
b r e h s
this is completely new territory for me, I've been a fat fuck and a kv my whole life
I would call her a womanchild, but women are children I guess
>at a hotel lounge with a friend and two of his friends (one was staying in the hotel) in ny
>typical pack of dudes but at a slightly higher end place
>two chicks come in, a brunette and a blonde 8/10+ each
>start flirting with the DJ and his friend
>"yea DJs always get the attention" - friend
>watch them talk to the guys
>make accidental eye contact with brunette
>nervously look away, autism in full flight at this point
>talk to friends, all rambling on about how the DJs are so lucky
>glance back over
>brunette waves, I wave back
>comes over to my group and asks me to go to the bar
>get her a drink, get her phone number, makeout with her
>she asks to go back to my place
>had been visiting family so I didn't actually have a place to go
>leave without her
i fucked up, but it felt good. could have just gotten a hotel.
I'm on my phone so I don't have pics or webm so I can't post his current body but that dude was on copious amounts of steroids and since UFC cut down on performance enhancing drugs he's lost SO MUCH muscle. Can't remember if he won or not in UFC194 but I do remember his fight being really dull and boring. Legit 2 minutes without a punch thrown.
26yrs old 6'2 been lifting since 17 but was very active before that
>be black ameribreh otterfag vising family in England
>large group of middleschoolers enter the gym with a chaperone
>every time I walk by an underage girl they literally don't stop staring at my body
>caught a few out with their mouths open while staring at me as I walked toward them
It was ok I guess.
Have you trained all those years with determination or had some lazy phases there? I have lifted for over three years now and feel like all my lifting has become routine and no progress is seen.
I have an actual mire story
>invite friends over to celebrate in jacuzzi
>friends are pretty out of shape
>get a text from crush, asks if she can come over with some friends to my place
>3AM drunk as fuck so ofcourse I tell them to come over
>tell them to text me when they arrive
>hear voices outside my house a lot earlier than I expected, they don't know where i'm at
>jump out of the hottub
>around 8 people, 5 of which are girls and my crush
>tfw she didn't know I was ripped
>see her and her friends and the guys miring
>all her guy friends are manlets
>tell them to grab a drink while I get dressed
>overhear them in my kitchen when i'm upstairs
>talking about my abs
>her friend gets really sick and basically prematurely ruins the evening
>atleast she knows know
I was never a hardcore lifter. I trained mostly for sports. I've had pretty much the same body type for what, 4 years now I suppose. I don't plan on getting bigger just maintaining now. If you're not happy with where you are right now you should probably check your diet and routine.
>been seeing a girl for 6 months now
>she hot as fuark, competes as well
>when we go to bed she is usually in first and watches me undress
>gets excited every time she sees my abs and tells me how sexy I am
>usually sexy time ensues
Feels fucking great
>my uncle told me i'm starting to get really big
This may be a solid mix between cringe and mirin'. Just bear with me.
>Go to a small, conservative Christian uni
>It's alright I guess, we could do with fewer wack-job homeschoolers, but everyone's got a few
>My society (basically a frat, just not named a frat) has our dating outing coming up with our sister society
>We're the two largest groups, each society 100+
>My society is Alpha Theta Pi, I literally joined them only because of /fit/ and giggling when I said I was Alpha
>The dating outing is at a local park we reserved for the day
>Bros are cooking hot dogs, burgers, a few steaks
>Girls are setting out all the fixin's, drinks, etc
>Some guys want to start a football game, since we're literally on the edge of a football field
>One of the girls says, "You should do shirts and skins!" ;)
>Other girls whistle, etc and agree
>We start picking teams, we flip a sandal to see who gets shirts/skins, and I end up skins
>We play a fun game, no injuries, lots of fun, someone even had a little boombox pumping jams for the whole party
>We eat hamburgers, hotdogs, and steaks while flirting with the girls
>(The whole point of the "dating outing" is to talk to girls and get some dates from it)
>I get a few numbers, everyone had a good time, and the guys are left to pack it all up and clean
>Our president, who didn't play football because he was on the phone/cooking/etc comes to me
>Hey, Anon, how many numbers did you get?
>Like X, why?
>All the girls were talking about how jacked you were, and how much better you were than the other guys playing football
>Th-thanks, y-you too!
So I didn't actually get mired directly, but I was informed.
she prob pretended to be passed out so she didnt have to say no. if you had fucked her you could very well be in prison right now!
>high quality bait
>girls magically turn from completely asexual to hot when they turn 18
If you're so scared of being labeled a pedo that you won't acknowledge some 14 y/o might develop womanly features (therefore becoming hot), then you probably are one.
Can't you understand English, retard?
>she's hot as hell
>might develop womanly features
I don't even live in murrica, the age of consent here is 15... and no I still wouldn't because I prefer women, not children!
plz pic related
Whenever someone tells a story that involves excessive amounts of alcohol, passing out, rape, vomiting and other regrettable alcoholic actions I just don't understand why people chose to live their lives like that. I mean, who would even want a gf that drinks until she passes out right in front of you? I honestly would never gf a slag like that. Maybe I somehow grew up among a different subspecies of humans, but every gf I ever had was maybe drinking one or two beer per evening, if at all. It's so immediately unattractive to me to see a girl drink in excess. I socially drink a few beers sometimes, but the few experiences with passing out I had were enough for me to see that it has no benefits.
>inb4 tips fedora
Reminds me of an old mire from the summer
>travelling for job training to another state
>staying in temporary boss' apartment
>she throws a little get together on the weekend for co-workers and some other friends so I can get to know people and not be bored
>I was on permacut down to 200 from about 220 (6'1)
>at around %12 bf
>get out of hot tub to grab a beer
>"anyone got an opener?"
>gay friend of boss says "why don't you just open it with your abs
>open bottle with my teeth
>get back in hot tub feeling wonderful
Later in the week I had an opportunity to fuck the boss chick but on top of being my boss, I had a gf at home, so I chickened out. I also lost my abs since then.
It was UFC on Fox 17 mang.
I would like to see you get into a brawl with Junior Dos Santos and get knocked the fuck out.
Sounds like you don't now shit about this sport, how good a boxer Dos Santos is and how easy it is to getting knocked out in that division.
>be 6'4 250lbs with ponytail
>go to some NYE party at a girl's (we'll say she's A) house with my muslim friend (He's B)
>they come to pick me up in A's car
>on the way there A offers me a sip from a bottle of vodka
>chug some of it
>get to her place and some people are on the front porch
>exit car and walk into the house
>as I walk by some drunk short 6/10 compliments my hair
>dat pantene sheen
>say thanks and continue to kitchen and begin to stand around awkwardly doing nothing
>A walks up to me and asks if I want a drink
>she hands me a drink
>tastes like nothing but alcohol
>down it in 10 seconds
>begin to feel drunk
>decide to take a breather outside
>starting to get friendly
>proceed to walk around for no reason
>B comes out and asks where I'm going
>proceed back into house
>immediately begin chatting up every single living thing in the house
>think I might have even got into an argument with their dog
>"Hey anon have you met C?"
>"oh how's it going man? I love you"
>stumble into living room
>begin making loud noises
>people start laughing
>B comes in and asks if I'm ok handing me glasses of water
>tell him I love him no homo tho
>grab him and make him sit on my lap
>this feels right
>A comes in and takes him up to the bedroom
>let them know that I am fully supportive of what will partake and bless their coitus in the name of Satan
>walk into kitchen
>girl from earlier comes in
>I challenge her to an armwrestling match
>we arm wrestle about 20 times because she rematched me and told me to actually try
>mfw I was trying hard as fuck
>or was I?
>she starts jumping up and down
>girl: "omg my titties are bouncing up and down can you see them?"
>"no dude I'm too drunk I can't see shit"
>she hugs me like 3 times and tell me I look sexy as fuck
>B comes to me and tells me the girl wants to bang
>"I can't man my penis is too small and I'm too tall"
>continue rest of night sperging about metal music with 4 other retards
Christ, this story is complete autism. You made me squirm in my chair with cringe, if I saw you at a party i'd punch your little goblin face
just start socializing bro.
Go to parties,be cool,chill out,mire girls hard and if they mire back then go approach. It should be easy then. Get her a drink and just be cool
There are so many sluts out there you wouldn't even believe desu
but how do you know they are interested?
I feel like approaching random people is going to just weird them out, I need an obvious tell that they are interested otherwise I dont act on it
when I go to the mall for example I dont know any of the girls there so why would I approach any?
You don't go to a mall to pick up girls
You hit them up on parties and shit
Btw you know they are interested when they are miring you hard and smile and shit like that. Also you lack self confidence,brah.Work on it a bit
>all these newfags responding
Holy fucking shit, just fuck my board up senpai
its new years bruh. this place is absolute complete shit right now. Plus 99 percent of people that browse this board werent even here when zyzz was around.
>decide to get in shape
>it's 2016 after all
>new year new me
>spend almost $45 on gym clothes
>go to planet fitness
>run on treadmill for at leat 5 minutes
>have a slice of pizza to recharge
>take a pic of myself and post on Facebook
>Mfw I got almost 13 likes.
>dress up in a cat costume for halloween >complete with my mother's yoga pants
>playing beer pong contracting my abs as hard as humanly possible
>girl watching says god damn
>I use this as an excuse to disrobe and take off my top
>turn around and tell her to look at my ass
>she pokes it
>tell her to give it a slap
>she does and I tighten my glutes
> standing there shirtless in yoga pants and a cat mask
>tells me its too bad im gay and leaves
>can't reply because focusing on flexing my entire body to look ripped
>lose beer pong game
>he doesn't know Angie Verona
How new to the Internet are you?
>get to gym a little before 5pm
>it's not packed yet
>grab bar and start deadlifting
>my eye catches this young girl easy freshmen in HS squatting
>I don't know why but I can't take eyes off her
>with okish form she actually squats 1 plate
>forget about her
>feel tap on shoulder..it's the girl
>"can you show me how to do that?"
>show her once for form, she's literally right behind me with her hands on her side like cheerleaders do
>she starts trying it out while I give her pointers
>for some reason she can't figure out how to activate her hams by bending down with a straight back keeps on rounding on the way down
>completely forget this is a stranger and put hand on her back and tell her to drop down slowly..finally gets it
>she does well
>she gets behind me and says she feels weird near her traps and puts her hands on my traps to show me
>completely go stiff as I feel her small hands on my back
>laugh like an idiot and move away from her
>she kinda follows me around afterwards or "checks in," with me if she goes to do another exercise
>when her parents pick her up realize what the hell just happened and now wonder if anyone is looking at me weird
Hot off the press lads....
>at local fitness and aquatic centre yesterday
>finish my workout, head to the sauna to wait for my mate to finish his laps
>sauna has a wall of glass, on the other side is the spa
>see qt in red bikini come out of changerooms and put her stuff in the top locker, watch her stand on her tip toes and tighten dat 9/10 ass
>she walks toward the spa and sauna
>makes eye contact with me through the glass about 1m from the spa
>holds my gaze as she steps into the bubbles
>her face and body relax the further she goes in, keeping eye contact with me the whole time
>I realise she has two male friends in the spa waiting for her to come in, one of them possibly her bf, they're both staring at her
>one of them starts to touch her when she's fully in the spa, but she shrugs the cunt off like he's nothing
>she comes closer to the glass wall and looks at me again, this time resting her arms on the ledge and parking her boobs in full view
>im fucking having a seizure, never been mired this hard all my life and this chick is legit bangin'
>her male buddies in the spa keep trying to get her attention, she ignores them completely
>i start laughing at how cucked those lads are
>she sees me smiling and smiles back
>my mate finishes his laps
>I get out of the sauna, walk slowly around the spa toward the showers 5 m away
>shower in full view in front of her, she's still mirin
>now the guys are looking back and forth between her and me, making weird faces
>I pack my shit and leave
Quality session. If i didn't have a gf i probably would have got into the spa just to see what would happen.
>at music fest
>see group of people talking to some friends
>gril is there
>ask our names
>jake and anon
>girl says " oh we have a jake and anon to"
>gril grabs my arm
>"y-y- your ri- , anons ripped just like you"
>dont know what to say and make some weird playful sigh
>she turns around
Might aswell post my most recent /mire/ before I put all the weight back on. Miss those days.
>Went out to buy some food.
>A place selling indian food.
>Just in line about to buy the food
>Four young girls in their 18's/early 20's in the background behind the stall
>All giggling after they see me
>Take turns looking at me
>One girl who originally saw me nudges her friend to look at me
>Same girl takes out her phone, and very badly feigns using it as she points it at me
>Clearly takes a pic of me
Just to let you know, back then I wasn't even jacked, just lean AS FUCK. I am also 6 ft 4.
Proof that as long as you have a handsome face and are lean, you will get mired.
Getting jacked is cool for yourself, but girls will mire you as long as you aren't fat.
could be a mistake by the doctors but who knows
>be me in hospital
>need to talk about a surgery im going to have so i sit in the waiting room
>unattractive kid with autism or smth sits next to me
>asked him what he has
>apparently has same thing as me
>after a while 2 doctor woman come out
>1 cute maybe 22 years old, the other old and fat
>they talk about who takes who and the cute one told me to follow her
>shes asking me basic surgery questions and tells me when not to eat etc.
>she also suddenly asks random questions that had nothing to do with the surgery
>at the end she told me to take my shirt of to check my lungs
>a few mins later i walk out and see autism kid again
>asked him what they did to him
>mfw they didnt ask him to take off shirt