Ok.. How the fuck do I stop this shit from constantly happening?
yeah man always spit on the last couple of wipes to clean dat hole.
>always use butt wipes and toilet paper
>always squeaky clean before leaving bathroom
>this still happens
>tfw trying to hide it from my girlfriend
>"no dear, I'll do all our laundry, don't worry about it"
>All these disgusting wipers
Do you guys seriously not clean your asses with soap and water every time you shit?
It feels good living in a place where hygiene is taught while you grow up.
What kind of fucking diet do you fags have that you leave skidmarks when you fart?
What the fuck I let one rip every other hour but I never have skidmarks like that.
Do you guys eat half a package of butter every day or what
You either got it or you don't. It ruined a guy at works life. We stopped calling him his name and would just shout " Hey Shit Stain", even the guy who filled the vending machines would call him "Shit Stain"
One to wipe one to shine my darling.
Also do give your behind particular care when showering. You know, get a handfull of soap and go to town on your crack. Wash it like the English queen will be drinking tea out of there later that day
Buy it at your local pharmacy. Pricey, but you just need a dab or two. Clean that butthole man.
Baby wipes are bad for our sewers faggots. Bidets don't get all the sticky/mud Poo of your butt (I know, I have one).
Vaseline also works. It picks up all the poop inside it's oily gooiness AND allows you to wipe like a beast without turning your asshole raw.
OP - use toilet paper and then a wet wipe. Or plan to shower after.
Oxygen bleach (dilute hydrogen peroxide) gets rid of stains like that well. Just soak your clothes in the wash for an hour or so and then do a cycle and it should come out clean.
>implying wet wipes work with that fucking hair on my anus
>implying I want my mom to see those literally shitty wipes in the bin since you can't flush them
>implying we can afford a toilet with a bidet
>Not adjusting when you shower to match when you shit
>Not spreading your asscheeks and letting a stream of hot water massage your anus
>Not doing this after edge fapping so that it causes you to cum
> gay anal sex
Okay anon :DDDD
So this means I can have my gf fuck me with her strap-on and this won't be an issue? :DDD Or put a finger or too up my boipussi? :DD
Seriously, learn about how sex fucking works, you turbo autist.
Wash your ass and stick a pinkie in your ass to clean the walls around exit, faggot. Not only will you have a clean asshole, but your ass won't smell and you won't have to worry about shit stains any more.
"Also, take psyllium fiber. I'll spare mefi the details, but suffice it to say regular intake of psyllium has rendered wiping almost a formality in my life.
I like the kind from Trader Joe's. I hear Metamucil is fine, but I don't need the added sugar in my diet. Whatever kind you get, give it a couple weeks before deciding it it helps. Also, drink lots of water with it."
How are your shits? I have hemoroids and I tried baby wipes and everything and would make sure my ass was squeaky clean after a shit, even shower 75% of the time then 2 hours later I'd have crazy itching scratch my ass and it'd smell like shit. I'd go to the bathroom and wipe and it'd be covered in shit somehow. Pretty sure I had leftover shit goo that wasn't coming out because I hadn't had a solid turd in around a year. I do 4 scoops of metamucil a day now and literally wiping is almost unnecessary, my poops are all great solid lofts and no more skid marks/hemroid itching.
OP, i've had this issue for awhile as well. I discovered that it's mainly dairy that gives me that. Also helped with my bloating. Funny thing is that despite me drinking strictly lactose free milk, I still had those issues.
Try drinking only water for a few days and see if it helps.
Mmm i love dirty discharge stained panties. How old are you OP? :)
>cleans ass once every 2+ days
>thinks his diet is the cause of his skidmarks
I honestly thought we were all joking when we're saying
>wash your ass and wipe properly you animal
But do people actually not wash their ass?
Get one of these
I got one of these as a 'gag' gift for xmas but goddamn senpai I don't think I can go back to shitting like a regular person again. You sit on there and crap basically falls out your butthole.
I have found that it also increases dingleberry production by at least 42%, so please wipe well.
Exactly. You can even push with the sphincter first to make sure there's none left in there. Push to open up, then relax for a greater spread. Use your other hand to pull on one cheek and bend over forward a little. Also, make sure to buy a second trimmer dedicated to shaving out your ass / pubic hair. I recommend Wahl. I was going to include this technique in my book.
Every time I shit, I go to the shower and I wash my ass, crotch and dick (I'm there, might as well wash other parts).
I take a bunch of shit and spread on your arms.
You wouldn't only give it a wipe and go to work.
You also wouldn't just use some water to clean your shit covered arm.
YOU WOULD USE WATER AND SOAP, AND WASH THAT SHIT OFF, you would be smelling your arms to see if there is as much as a little resemblance of the smell of shit.
Treat your asshole just like that, you won't be shitting your pants anyome, you disgusting fuck.
This just about covers everything I was going to say.