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>meet cute grill while running
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness

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>meet cute grill while running
>she was hanging around her yard and watched me go by so on my way back I somehow start a conversation without being autistic
>cute face, typical female who doesnt work out body, maybe a little chubby
>says she thinks running looks cool and wants to start
>get her number and I run with her twice, runs very slow but she's cool and it's fun to hang out with her

and here's the spaghetti
>ran
>text her one night that my work schedule is weird this week and I wouldn't be around til after 7
>says that she doesn't really want to go after dark
>I say what? afraid I'll rape you or something haha?"
>gets worse
>"because obviously I wouldn't do anything like that"
>still no reply
>try to salvage it with more "humor"
>"but I guess I'd say that if I was a rapist as well"
>still no reply this entire time
>realize what I've done
>mfw I really was just trying to make a joke at first
what the fuck do I do here guys? I think I'm gunna just give her a couple days to see if she replies, otherwise send her apology after letting her process my retardation. Thing is, I have to run past her house either way.

also why the fuck can't you make these kinds of jokes to like any women? just once I'd like to meet one with a sense of humor. I know I freaked her out and all and I wanna fix it but I feel like this shouldn't have been a problem in the first place.
>>
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>>29212025
fucking hell.
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>>29212025
Is this for real? You best screen shot your phone
>>
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this is no where near salvageable OP. Try again next time, without mentioning rape you fucking autist
>>
She doesn't share your sense of humor. move on if she can't brush that shit off she's worthless anyways. not even making this up my mother would not go out dancing with my dad back in the 70's. He asked her out like 3 times and on the third time when she said no, he said "what? just come dance it's not like I'm going to rape you" she laughed and went dancing and they've been married for 30 years. Fuck her and her low bar for offense taking.

If, for some reason, you want to salvage it. leave her be for 2-3 weeks. don't change your routine just run by and if you see her just nod or wave as you jog. do not stop unless she flags you down. don't say another word. she'll start to wonder if she is in the wrong if you act like you didn't do anything wrong, which you didnt. A risky joke, but not creepy.
>>
>>29212025
Alright man look

Imagine you're in prison.
Imagine Jerome wants to go play b-ball with you alone.
Imagine after you say no he says "cmon mayne i aint gonna rape you dawg"
What the fuck would you do?

>saying she has no sense of humor when you made a perceived rape threat
>>
Just send her a text that says you were obviously joking because no one would rape a fat girl anyways. that should do it.
>>
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>>29212116
that might work
>>
>>29212090
see I thought she was that type of girl who would laugh. it's been about 8 hours though an no answer
>>
Shes slowing down your running gains anyway
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>>29212025
>>
>>29212202
I ran alone on my normal schedule, then with her a couple times. Once during the day before my real run (personally I prefer at night) and once on an off day. It wasn't very strenuous for me so the extra running didn't make a difference
>>
>tfw afraid to run during the day because people will watch you
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If she can take a dick she can take a joke
>>
>>29212025
Dumbass
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>>29212235
first of all it's superior at night anyways. second, most people are clueless about running. If you're thin and they see you running at any speed they'll just assume youre going very far or something and probably be impressed. if fat, they'll say good for you for exercising while they sit on their ass
>>
You should know someone a bit more before you make rape jokes OP. Or add a lol at the end. Shit OP you're mentally retarded.
>>
>>29212314
I did say haha to show i was joking
>>
I like to imagine Op sitting in his room at night only his face visible by his phone, as he types up these text messages to this poor girl.

"Affraid I'll rape you or something haha?" He traps, a slight grin begins to crease itself across his blue illuminated face. "Hmm no reply" His grin begins to turn upwards. "she must be too busy laughing at my clever ruse." He reaches down and adjusts his growing erection. "Better send her one more to make sure she knows my intentions." Pat pat his thumbs finding the keys at blazing speed. "Obviously I wouldn't do that. But I guess I'd say that if I was a rapist as well." His grin splits open and a deep cackle erupts from within him. He knows she must be soaking wet, overcome by his impressive comedic prowess. "I'll leave her be for the night." He unbuttons his pants fully. "I'm sure she'll be begging for me tomorrow."
>>
>>29212328
Haha and lol are completely different... Haha is psycho shit.
>>
Might as well send her a "pls respond" to complete the autist ritual. It isn't like it can get any worse anyway
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>>29212377
haha nice dubs
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>>29212220
So your basically being her personal trainer for free? What a beta, next time ask her to pay you in sex. Absolutely disgraceful, you beta autist. Tell her I said that.
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>>29212444
not training her at all. just accompanying her for runs. obviously I'd get nothing out of it for exercise but it was fun
>>
You don't say rape. Most people don't find rape funny. Try the word 'kidnap' next time. It's more obvious that it's joking.
>>
I made a tentacle rape joke to a group of girls this weekend and they thought it was hilarious. They actually understood what I said
>>
Here's what you do. Send her this
"I'm so sorry, I make some shitty jokes. Why don't you want to go after dark anyway? I've got some reflective tape if your afraid we won't be seen or something."
Boom op, problem solved.
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>>29212486
what did you say
>>
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>>29212025
GEEZZUSS
>>
>>29212497
Betamax
>>
Just say you've got tourettes, problem solved
>>
i always make rape jokes, if bitches dont like this type of humor its not for me
i like awful jokes
you cracked me up op, just be confident with the shit you say, 0 fucks given
>>
I suggest you rape her, so she knows you weren't joking.

That way she will know you are serious about fitness and running, and that you're serious about committed relationships.

In summary, rape leads to qt gf.
>>
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>>29212363
why
>>
Tell her if she doesn't come for a run you'll kill her family, then she'll know your joking
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>>29212040
hehe :)
>>
>>29212025
Ughh, why would you put this online. This memory should be encased in concrete and stored away with nuclear waste in Nevada.
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>>29212025
you can get away with this sort of thing whilst you're face to face with a grill, but not through text (unless they know you well)

you fucked up OP. anything you say from here on in will do more harm than good. wait until you next see her face to face to invite her out, or wait until she contacts you.
it's difficult to see from her point of view, but you creepd her the fuck out. you must regain her trust by chatting with her.

>autism, not even once
>>
>what? Afraid ill rape you or something >:)
>>
>>29212499
I was pretty drunk. I think they invited me back to their hotel room and I said I'll bring the octopus so we can have some real fun. Something along those lines, they ate it up.
>>
this was a learning experience for all of us OP. Today you were truly an autist martyr
>>
>>29212568
> >:)
>>
Go to her house at night and look through her windows then she calls the police say it was all an epic ruse. She will be laughing so hard after that, trust me.
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>>29212092
I'd know that Jerome was just being a goofy nigger. I'd love to shoot some hoops.
>>
DO NOT send her another text. Even though your messages were intensely autistic there is a high possibility she has not been able to reply or something along those lines. I've done this before not at this scale but the best thing is to wait it out see if she replies. I'd give it about 2 days before you know she 100% won't reply to it. The next step if she doesn't reply is to 1. Ask her to come for a run again and pretend nothing happened, don't make this one awkward just pretend you didn't care if she didn't find it funny and move on. Or 2. Forget about her if you think she's lame for not getting your humor then find another grill that will.
>>
Reminds of the time my friend wanted to borrow my pen and kept specifically mentioning he wouldn't shove it up his bum. I had to get a new pen after that.
>>
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>>29212363
kek
>>
>using "haha" or "lol"

Step your game up, brotato.

Don't text her again. She probably isn't able to get to her phone right away. I know a few bitties like this. Take a chill pill. You should be talking to more than one girl at a time.
>>
>>29212025
run past her house after dark a few times and shout to her
>>
>>29212025

Never text her again, and change your running route.

It's the only way to save what's left of your dignity.
>>
>>29212025
most women have rape fantasies so once you said you weren't a rapist she was instantly turned off. Next time, don't tell them that you aren't a rapist.
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>>29212243

He seems kinda into it at first
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>>29212195
OH GOD 8 WHOLE HOURS?! OH DAMN OP THAT'S ALMOST 9 HOURS.....AND 9 HOURS IS ALMOST 3 DAYS?1!

Holy god. it's been 8 hours. give her a break and act uninterested. surprise her by NOT trying to dig yourself out of a hole that you don't even belong in. It makes you seem desperate. If she doesn't talk to you in a week or two, then text some simple thing like hey whatsup or other bullshit. you are a man. women are attracted to confidence, so be confident in what you said.
>>
>>29213106

This.
>>
>>29212025
Poe's Law
Sorry OP, better you learn it now though. You can only joke like that in person so they see the humor on your face
>>
>>29212523
so edgy and funny :^) u shur /fit/ rite in to 4chan. le ebin rape jokes 4tw!!!
>>
just explain the situation, if she's not interested move on with your life

why did you need to debrief with 4 chan over this.
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>>29212025
>"but I guess I'd say that if I was a rapist as well"
lel

At this point she should've just known you were being autistic and harmless. I guess she's not into that kind of thing. Tough luck dude
>>
Saving this OP. Thanks for the kek and sorry for your loss.
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>>29213106

ayyy lmao
>>
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>you will never feel your best mates cock in your mouth
>>
>>29212663
This.
I'd still be edgy as fuck though for awhile, especially in prison and all.
Real life aint prison though. Chances of a girl getting raped in the real world are much less than anyone getting raped in jail

But ya, Jerome sounds cool I guess
>>
There is no way out of this one. Just move on, OP. Thanks for the laugh, btw.
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>>29212025
Was still salvagable after the 2nd phrase, unsalvagable after the 3rd phrase.

Just got to hope she enjoys dark humor OP
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I like to go to the park near my house and take pictures of the girls running there where I also run sometimes once I know their schedule so I can talk to them
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>>29212614
>:) >:)
>>
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>>29212025
>>29212078
>>29212092
>>29212182
This is why I keep coming back to /fit/

top fucking kek
>>
>>29212025

>just once I'd like to meet one with a sense of humor.
>implying

PSA: What you said was not funny at all. And I'm not saying that because I think it was inappropriate, I laugh at some really fucked up jokes, it just wasn't funny. It wasn't clever, and it was highly predictable.

Also, consider the (very real) possibility that she has actually been raped in the past, in which case she would likely never find any rape joke funny at all.

>why am i posting serious responses on /fit/
>>
>>29212410

pls do this and post screens
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>>29212521

actual autism
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>>29212363
That's exactly how it was.
>>
I shall only marry a woman who understands rape jokes. Thats mymain and only demand.
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>>29212471
This.

I've used a similar kidnap line before with a girl, and it was successful. I think I even typed the word rape before deleting it and typing kidnap because I'm not autistic, and I realize rape isn't something to joke about with a girl, even if it's fine to use in a joking manner when you're talking to your bros.
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>>29213126
Hahaha my seids
>>
>>29213508
Bahahahaha can you post more.

I want so badly to believe you're a sick fucking individual.
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>>29213508
why is everyone not laughing their asses off at this, this is gold
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>>29212523
Top vote
>>
>>29213508
Is this real? I think I'm having a panic attack
>>
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>>29213508
Anon pls.
>>
Fucking wow. I wouldn't have the courage to type that out. That's just terrible.
>>
If this gets sceencapped I can say I was in this thread!
>>
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>>29212025
>I say what? afraid I'll rape you or something haha?"
>>
>>29213508
you can't post just one
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>being this autist
Cringe worthy
Its already a gamble for a girl to hang with a guy so for you to say that rape "joke" is just.... Don't text her ever again
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>>29214155
Because you're samefagging and its pathetic and weird. I wouldnt want some shit taking pics of me
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>>29213229
... No.
>>
>>29214913
i'll shit on you
>>
Tell her you have autismo and just wanted to make a joke..
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>>29212090
... Fuck you it IS creepy
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>>29212523

+1
>>
>>29213700

Its her fault for getting raped and she should get over it. Did you get raped?
>>
>>29212090
>doesn't share sense of humour

Man you shouldn't make rape jokes around women you just met. That shit is in the back of their mind pretty much most of the time.
>>
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>>29212025
gg no re OP

move on cuz this one ain't gonna work
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>>29213508

Please. Please let this be real.
>>
>>29212025
>what do I do
You dig a hole in your backyard and niet your memories of this ever happening. After that youre going to pick a new running route

If flirting is anything like sailing a boat then this Exchange was about as bad as the concordia disaster
>>
Just gonna have to say, I've talked to a LOT of women, and I've only found like 3-4 who are genuinely funny/unique, not just cookie cutter funny or noisy funny

So I mean, it doesn't pay to ever think a girl will have a sense of humor (albeit, rape jokes are not really the best, especially via text) because like, 99999 chances out of 10000 shes a boring bitch

>Tfw all the funny girls have long-term bfs
>>
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>>29214102 I don't understand
>>29214155
>>29214356 She is the newest girl I have met at the park. I have just been saying hi to her each time she goes past. Taking things slow. Some of the other girls don't come to the park anymore I guess they foundboyfriends
>>29214365 ?
>>29214955 Her name is Angela
>>
>>29212025
Oh my god. My sides.

You played it fine mate.
>>
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>>29212025
just shrug it off and go pound on her door tmr like it ain't no big dealio
>>
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>>29215431
Keep going
Post pics of other girls
>>
if you wouldve changed rape to kill she might have found it funny and this wouldnt have happened. what one word can do.
>>
>>29212025
Wtf's wrong with you, here's what a normal person would've written:
>alright, some other time then.
>>
>>29212025
You're gonna have to fail a lot before it starts working

Think of this as your first day at the gym or whatever
>>
>>29215475

guy wearing a chingchong hat in the background

kek
>>
>"hehe don't worry i'll protect you i promise!"
was the correct response. holy fuck how autistic do you have to be to reference rape to a girl
>>
>>29215475
>If you don't like it, leave

Fuck ye what a woman
>>
>Wait a few days. A day or 2 minimum
>Then send her a text saying you're sorry, and that you've been under a lot of pressure with work and family issues (invent something minor, like your sister being sad or some shot)
>Tell her you know you were creepy, and that you are sorry you were like that, but the stress is getting to you
>"Running seems to be the only thing keeping me sane lately"
>"Anyway, I'm rambling. If you wanna go running again some time, hit me up. Bye"
>>
>>29212243
WTF I JUST WATCHED
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>>29215553
>>
>>29215502

didnt even notice this lel

>mfw he has a gf and you dont
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>>29212025

just go full Doom, op
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>>29212025
at least you won't have to slow down waiting for her fat ass to keep up anymore
>>
>>29212025
Jeez that's intense.

Should have said:
>Don't worry, I'll protect you
Actually said:
>I'm gunna rape you
>>
>>29215553
This is just going to make it worse.

The only way this would have responded with something calling you stupid or telling you not to say something like that again.
>>
>>29215475

i can't even tell who is the unhappiest in this photo

>tfw you realize you're nothing but a face and body and nobody is even the slightest bit interested in what goes on in your mind
>>
>>29212025

>>why the fuck can't you make rape jokes to like any women?

You are the dumbest mother fucker on 4chan I've seen in months, and that's going some. Enjoy your autism.
>>
all you can really do is move on and accept that you lost her
Don't stop running tho, just sprint past her place
>>
>>29215607
kek
>>
>>29212092

Read this OP and realise how fucking creepy you are.
>>
>>29215475
It maybe could have been salvaged, if you went far enough for her to know it was definitely a joke.

>what? afraid I'll rape you or something haha
>Then maybe stab you and have sex with the stab wound?
>And make a {insert name here} suit out of your skin, and wear the skin while having dirty sex with Albanian prostitutes?
>>
>>29213123
Gotta play to win
>>
>>29212328

>Rape jokes as part of your flirting strategy? It's more autistic than you think.
>>
>>29212025
Jeezus op. Whatever you do, do not text her. Let her start the conversation, you're just freaking her out more and more. Besides what's the rush? You said you live close to her so you'll probably meet by chance again and you can say hi and if she's interested she'll keep up the conversation.
>>
you could have said
>yeah thats reasonable, i've almost eaten shit a couple times because of running in the dark

thats it
but you had to say the dumbest shit
everyone she knows is going to know
every time her friends are over she'll point you out
they'll just look at you with disgust and fear

Fuck
you know she might have said
>maybe you should come over and hang out instead of running

you could have lead the conversation to that
you could have fucked her
>>
>>29215672
>>
>>29215553
>I'm sorry for being crazy but I have legitimate reasons for being crazy then and even now. If we don't go running I can't say what will happen. Anyway, I'm rambling. If you wanna go running again some time, hit me up. Bye
>>
>>29215667
Sticking what's left of your mangled dick back into the meat grinder ain't gonna bring it back.

Cut your losses and run, OP. Realise that you're socially maladjusted and learn from the experience.
>>
>>29215742
THIS.

Send it, OP, and fix the relationship. She'll admire your confident but casual approach and laugh it off with you.
>>
>>29215651
LOL, awesome
>>
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>>29213508
>>
>>29215553

ITT: autists counselling autists.

This should end well.
>>
>>29212523
It is known
>>
>>29215742
>>I'm sorry for being crazy but I have legitimate reasons for being crazy then and even now.

>Threaten to rape girl
>Let her know it's okay, because you're mentally unstable.

Don't do this. Just stop texting and try to say hi in a non-creepy way if you see her again.
>>
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>>29212090
>low bar

high bar squat masterrace
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>>29212328
saying haha is autistic as fuck. Haha.
>>
>>29212363
fucking jej.
>>
>>29216067
haha
>>
>>29216076
heh
>>
Send her a text saying the following:

"IMMA RAPE YOU FAT SLUT WHORE IMMA RAPE YOU FAT SLUT WHORE IMMA RAPE YOU FAT SLUT WHORE IMMA RAPE YOU FAT SLUT WHORE IMMA RAAAAPPPEE YOU RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE"
>>
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>>29212025
This is some next level spaghettism.

Wait a few hours without saying anything, ask her if she wants to go running some time as though nothing happened
>>
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>>29212025
That's hilarious. Sadly, if she never responded, she is the type to get offended easily - which means you would have been incompadible anyway.

The beta tries to make the "right" moves, the Alpha doesn't care what the right moves are, because he already believes he is right. Have some confidence man, be happy with who you are, take pride in your sense of humour.

Reminds me of this time at work where I made some minor suicide joke and a girl flipped her shit at me, said she didn't find it funny and refused to even stand close to me anymore. I didn't give a fuck, fuck that slut.

Take pride in who you are, even if you are some autistic shit cunt. If you be yourself instead of wording things the other ways people want to hear, and you act with confidence, eventually you will find somebody who likes those qualities in you.

In short; you aren't the problem, she is.
>>
>>29212025
How to avoid sex 101
>>
>>29213508

wow. issues man youve got them
>>
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>>29213508
>her face

fucking kek
>>
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>>29215553
>>29212025
>Actually apologising for a fucking joke text
God forbid that you make her feel uncomfortable eh? Just treat her like a princess who should be apologised to whenever you say the wrong thing that doesnt please her. That'll sure make her respect you.
Just move on and cut your losses. If she likes you she wont give a fuck about the text because she wont see you as a threat anyway, if she doesnt like you apologising and trying to please her will make you seem both pathetic and creepy rather than just creepy.
>>
>>29212025
really?? LMFAO
>>
>>29212663
Jerome would like to shoot your hoop.
>>
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>>29215607
>>
>>29212025
This is my worst fear
>new grill from work starts conversations with me out of nowhere
>I'm not prepared for this, I'll spill spagettos anytime so I talk the minimum possible

How do you avoid this kind of autism?, I don't wanna lose any chance to smash her booty, and give a good use to my gains
>>
oh cmon guys, if girl can't take jokes like this, shes raging feminists anyway and should be avoided at all cost
>>
>>29217987
did you read the book of pook? mah nigga
>>
>>29215431
>Some of the other girls don't come to the park anymore I guess they foundboyfriends
>>
File: spaghetti-header.gif (103 KB, 615x386) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>29212025
>>
File: why I browse fit.png (246 KB, 1618x1304) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>29212025
OP I hope you know this is officially pasta
>>
>>29215871
Too close to home, anon.
>go to class
>lift
>come home
>start homework, but end up on /fit/
>go to sleep
Rinse and repeat.
>>
>>29212116
10/10 would spew unexpected laughter spit onto my monitor again.
>>
>>29212025
I had a gf with a sense of humour, but as the relationship started to get serious she lost it all :(
>>
>>29219499
at least do it properly you retarded piece of shit
>>
>>29212363
Topkek
>>
File: 1413563301350.jpg (47 KB, 666x555) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>29219746
Thread replies: 163
Thread images: 36
Thread DB ID: 17766



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