Self Improvement Thread

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I'll start bumping with some various tips until people ask me questions.
>The greatest thing that you can do is to learn about psychology. ALL theories of psychology; Freud, Jung, Wilson, Aristotle, etc. Learning about psychology helps you confront your inner demons, analyze why you do what you do, discover your deepest fears, uncover what dysfunctional defense mechanisms you employ, and do the same in others.

>Some might tell you that psychology is a frivolous pseudo-science, but they are fools. Yes, serious questions can be brought up pertaining to the veracity of psychology, however note how most people who dislike psychology aren't arguing from a spirit of genuine curiosity, but from some sort of a cynical, stubborn, bitterness towards it. They do not want to understand it, because they have been taught (most likely by an emotionally abusive parent) that their emotions are worthless and should not be expressed, therefore any pursuit to do so (psychology) angers these people.

Recommended reading for psychology:
>Prometheus Rising by Dr. Robert Anton Wilson
>Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious by Carl Jung
>The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
>Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
>Man's Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frankl
>On the Soul by Aristotle

How do I get a big booty bitch

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>>27099289

I could write an entire book on how to get (and keep) women.

Are you concerned with just hooking up or finding a good girl to settle down with?

>>27099402
Im concerned with getting an acutal gf, not just a ''hook up''

>>27099422
actual*

>>27099193
I'll add a book to that reading list.
>Emotions Revealed by Paul Ekman

>>27099001
anything for social anxiety?
inb4 "just be yourself"

>>27099443
http://raouldify.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/2011_1203-the-flinch.pdf

I just can't stop procrastinating. What do

Fucking OP left us

>>27099552
I'll tell you later

>>27099552
>modafinil
>go to a coffee shop to work
>set actual goals (tomorrow i'm working from this time to that time)
>listen to white noise not music

>>27099001
What failures did you have to endure? I wouldn't believe you if you said everything you wanted that made you better happened first try. So what are some times that you had to pick yourself up and attack again?

>>27099001
>You may ask me anything you like, and so long as it is reasonable, I shall answer.


what problems/struggles were you facing and how did you overcome them?

How to be more liked/popular?

>inb4 how to win friends & influence people

>>27099193
>>Some might tell you that psychology is a frivolous pseudo-science, but they are fools. Yes, serious questions can be brought up pertaining to the veracity of psychology, however note how most people who dislike psychology aren't arguing from a spirit of genuine curiosity, but from some sort of a cynical, stubborn, bitterness towards it. They do not want to understand it, because they have been taught (most likely by an emotionally abusive parent) that their emotions are worthless and should not be expressed, therefore any pursuit to do so (psychology) angers these people.
Can you teach me to not be so judgmental of people don't agree with it. I think the first step in self improvement is accepting that you are not perfect and that those around you are not perfect as well. I feel like a complete faggot because I believe in things that are utter nonsense, but when people have a different opinion from mine, I attack them. Then, to make myself feel better, I go on the internet and tell people how perfect I think I am, even though I feel like shit. Can you help OP?

>>27099728
Stop browsing 4chan

>>27099728
>to make myself feel better, I go on the internet and tell people how perfect I think I am, even though I feel like shit


90% of /pol/ and /fit/

>>27099193
>>The greatest thing that you can do is to learn about psychology. ALL theories of psychology; Freud, Jung, Wilson, Aristotle, etc. Learning about psychology helps you confront your inner demons, analyze why you do what you do, discover your deepest fears, uncover what dysfunctional defense mechanisms you employ

As a human being its your moral obligation to do this. The part about doing it to others though, not so much. Never try and change or help people who do not want it.

I been in to self improvement and reading psychology for a long time my self and what helped me the most has been watching Jordan B Peterson lectures on youtube. Can't recommend him enough. If you are a depressed fuck with no meaning in life, go watch his lectures! I think you'll really like him as well OP. Watch his Maps of Meaning course that the thought in Harvard and the Personality and its Transformations.

Probably the best psychology course there is.

>>27099563

I did not leave. I'm doing other shit, my life consists of more than this thread, bro.

>>27099422
Question is basically: "How to get a gf"

Start working on your fundamentals. Don't even try to get a gf if you haven't done this shit yet.

How to master the fundamentals:

Physical aspects
>I'm assuming you've already started working out, so keep at it. Strive for a waist to shoulder ratio of 1.616, this is the perfect ratio for a V taper. To calculate your ratio, measure the circumference of the thinnest part of your waist, usually just by the bellybutton. Then measure the circumference of your shoulders at their widest point. Divide the shoulder circumference by the waist circumference. Get this as close to 1.616 as possible. Also strive to get a six pack.
>Get good haircuts. I used to pay like $15 for a haircut, and it got the job done, but a concept you need to understand if you're going to improve yourself is quality. It's worth it to shell out $50 on a nice hair stylist, get some nice shampoo (from Whole Foods or Trader Joe's), and styling paste if need be. DO YOUR RESEARCH don't just by whatever shit looks good.
>Focus on style. This depends a lot on your age, so I'll leave it to you, but the basics are: Buy things that are high quality, buy things that fit well, and buy things that communicate status.
>Skincare: Use a natural Cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. These are the absolute basics. Getting nice ones are worth if if you can afford it. Get a membership to a tanning salon and go maybe 2-3x a week for 10 minutes.

Mental aspects
>Learn how to mimic confident body language. Do this ALL OF THE TIME, not just when a girl is near you.
>Learn how to decipher the emotional subtext of a conversation. Girls communicate mainly with emotions, and guys tend to use logic. If you can learn to understand her emotions and how you should respond, your life with women will become so much easier.

continued.

>>27099783
>I did not leave. I'm doing other shit, my life consists of more than this thread, bro.
For someone who thinks so highly of them self, you're a real fucking asshole. Stop giving advice , you still have lots of work to do on yourself

>>27099783
ok bro brah bruh breh

>>27099783
>starts thread
>offering advice
>''bro im doing other shit''

>>27099588
i do all of this except replace faggot ass coffee shop with library and modafinil with piracetam

>>27099783

Part 2.

Mental aspects (contd.)
>Have a personality. Become interesting. Travel, go do things, make friends, take up a martial art, learn to play an instrument. Make yourself interesting. Like I mentioned, girls run almost entirely on emotion. If you can make them interested in you, half of the work is done. This applies to guys as well. Think about it: Would you rather hang around some dude who does nothing, but mope around and watch TV all day? Or would you rather hang around a cool dude who's traveled all over the world, is a black belt, and a whiskey connoisseur?
>Be confident and dominant (eg an alpha male)

Something needs to be set straight about that last statement and I want EVERYONE TO LISTEN UP. /fit/ has this idiotic notion that being an "Alpha male" means being a complete dick to everyone and anyone. This is extremely beta behavior; it's your typical 5'5" overcompensating lunk who lifts 7 days a week and is loud as shit in an attempt to act intimidating. A TRUE ALPHA DOES NOT DO THIS SHIT. A true Alpha wins people over with charisma, isn't afraid to laugh at himself, and doesn't overreact. He WILL fight to protect his "tribe" so to speak, but the key here is to not overreact. This is something called the Law of Sprezzatura. The idea is basically that whoever gets the most social reward while putting in the least effort is the coolest.

think of anyone who you thought was extremely cool. Did they overreact a lot? Or were they just really REALLY calm and knew exactly what to say to get the maximum reaction?

>Learn to make strong eye contact. This is tricky, because too much and you're an intimidating psychopath, too little, and you're a beta. Keep in mind that it isn't just the contact that matters, it's the facial expression when you MAKE the contact.
>Cultivate empathy. Be aware of how far you can push people, what they want to talk about, what they don't, etc.

>>27099728
4chan has made me into a troll who hates everyones opinions in real life. everytime someone says anything i think of ways to discredit them and internally imagine this:

>implying

help me

>>27099443

Don't "just be yourself." This is the stupidest advice I've ever heard.

You're socially awkward BECAUSE YOU ARE YOURSELF. Thus you need to change it. It takes practice, dude. You need to cultivate empathy and get used to social interactions. If you focus on the things I listed in these posts

>>27099783
>>27099896

You should be fine.

>>27099193
>not knowing the difference between philosophy and psychology
You lost me immediately, OP. How the hell can I believe in your advice when you think Aristotle was a psychologist? How can I even believe that you've read them?

>>27099920
everything else he posted is psychology and sometimes philosophy dips into both

stop being an autist

>>27099945
Jung and Freud are considered much closer to philosophy than psychology by modern psychologists.
Psychology is the science of human behavior. Science. Testable hypotheses are important.
Jung and Freud are just a bunch of pet theories of human behavior, which produce no testable hypotheses. You might find them personally helpful and enlightening, but they're not psychology.

>>27099001

i know a lot of this shit, perhaps not too much substance but i know most of what these things always kind of say. but the thing where i'm stuck is at is how to love myself?

i know goals and gym and yadda yadda but i'm kind of stuck right now becuase im home from school, couldn't get a internship and am working as a cashier which was not part of my plan. other than gm i don't really do much, although i just finished reading a really great novel (oryx and crake).

how do i become more interesting? i'm assuming it'll be through books and cheap experiences (ish i could travel but i can't afford to)

i wanna be very confident in myself when the fall semester starts. i want to be more knowledgeable. i want people to see me and be like damn yo, anon had a cathartic summer. and of course, to keep it fitness related, i'm trying to permanently melt my muffin top and get a some decent volume by the end of august.

6-6'1 weight ~174


think i can cut down to at least around 160 and change my 5x5 to more muscle atrophy routine to get a better 'pumped' muscular look by end of august?

cutting is with the help of cigs and cardio, i wanna get creatine when i'm done cutting so i can look as muscular as possible when school starts

>>27099453
that's some solid shit right there
this + models = win

>>27099644

I had a lot of failures to endure. Here's one:

I hooked up with this girl who I didn't really know, but I thought she was fairly attractive. She was extremely into the whole thing and wouldn't stop yelling out complements and shit.

Then she started stalking me, and out of the blue 6 months later I got an email from my university saying that I was being investigated for sexual assault.

I had to pay a lawyer something like $350 to help get me off (which is a lot when you're a broke college kid).

In retrospect I should have seen that she was crazy, but because I was too focused on my own desires I neglected to see this.
Another example:

I was madly in love with a girl a while back. Things were going perfectly, but I messed it up, because I wasn't emotionally available (a lot of baggage from abusive parents). I ended up fucking it up, getting paranoid that she was cheating on me, and breaking up with her. We had a thing for the next 5 months or so, and near the end I got paranoid and demanded that she come meet me in the middle of the night. She did, and I accused her of cheating on me in Europe. We argued for a while, and she got mad and left.


I now realize that it was stupid to assume that she cheated on me when there was actually evidence to the contrary. My paranoia and insecurity fucked our relationship up and we haven't talked in a while. This was a major lesson for me; I have since focused on getting my emotions in check and not letting petty fears ruin a perfectly happy relationship.

>>27100034
models? enlighten me

>>27100041

A book by Mark Manson. It's extremely good

>>27100040
Fatass cutting here

As a fat guy nothing really botherd me, Direct insults never have but passive aggressive people drive me mad.

How can I get over this? It is like a conflict in my mind and when it happens I just smile and laugh at them but it is starting to bubble to the surface and is gona come out one of these days

>>27099917
You are so fucking retarded, it's unreal.

This isn't self-improvement.
This is just one large script for men to boost their ego, not their fucking confidence.

>>27100063
thanks, will check it out

glad you liked the flinch

>>27099660
This is pretty related to >>27099660


>>27099706
Don't listen to that book. There IS some wisdom to it, but it mainly advocates that we all become a bunch of cliche happy go lucky leave it to beaver fathers.

In order to be liked you must be LIKEABLE. So what do people like?
>People like feeling big. Take up a genuine interest in people. Ask them about their hobbies, passions, strengths...give them advice, show interest in their lives. Don't come off as a try-hard suck up, but try to make people have a fun time when they're around you.
>Offer value. There are different types of value, but the main 3 are conversational, implied, and offered. Conversational value is the most important. It's the things you say around others and how it makes them feel. Become a good conversationalist. Here is a great article on this: http://www.girlschase.com/content/conversationalist

Implied value is basically being interesting. If you do cool stuff, people will want to be around you, because they might get to do cool stuff then. Lastly is offered value. When you offer to invite people to parties, try to hook your bros up with a girl, etc. You offer value to their life. Master value.

>Becoming popular has a sort of snowball effect. The more popular you get, the more others will want to know you, and the more popular you'll become.

>>27100081
10/10 post

seriously

all that ''help'' was some serious broad sweeping vanilla less-than-RSD-tier shit. I liked the encouragement of psychology and behavior in >>27099193
this post but psych and the root of behavior was BARELY brought up again in the other pieces of advice

>>27099402
not him but i don't care i just want to hook up

>>27100126
Just download tinder, don't listen to this asshole

>Law of Sprezzatura
>Be a conversationalist

ok everyone ITT just go to girlschase and find articles. Thats literally what the ''advice thread'' has become

>>27099193
pretty baller book selection

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>>27099193
>tfw psych major

>>27099193
>>Some might tell you that psychology is a frivolous pseudo-science, but they are fools. Yes, serious questions can be brought up pertaining to the veracity of psychology, however note how most people who dislike psychology aren't arguing from a spirit of genuine curiosity, but from some sort of a cynical, stubborn, bitterness towards it. They do not want to understand it, because they have been taught (most likely by an emotionally abusive parent) that their emotions are worthless and should not be expressed, therefore any pursuit to do so (psychology) angers these people.

Ah yes, if somebody doesn't agree with you they must be fools who have been taught things in the wrong way.

Also,

>Aristotle
>Psychology

U avin a giggle mate?

Step off of your high horse you pretentious fucker, you aren't any better than the rest of us.

>>27099728

Yeah I used to do that a lot. Here's some advice...and it's going to be blunt. I'm not going to sugar coat it.

>You're probably very insecure and had a heavy 3rd circuit imprint. Did you possibly argue a lot with parents? This generally cultivates a deep desire to argue and prove oneself by doing so.
>Ask yourself: why judge? All it does is make you feel like crap and drain you emotionally.
>Try to see things from their perspective. I used to think that my beliefs were the only ones that were correct, but after years of learning and studying philosophy/changing my opinions I realize that it's very easy to get trapped into tunnel vision, and selectively ignore and notice evidence that either doesn't or does support your belief.
>Don't JUDGE, but don't forget either. For instance, if a girl and you are talking, and she tells you that she's cheated on her last 5 boyfriends, don't judge. She could have had sexually abusive parents, maybe she's an addict, maybe she's depressed, do you know what it's like to be a girl who could just fuck anyone they wanted ever? Realize that her experience is entirely different than yours. HOWEVER, don't forget. She told you something (or you discovered it, or w/e) and you should act accordingly. Don't expect her to be very trustworthy would be the lesson here.

And lastly keep in mind that although you shouldn't judge, some people ARE shitty people. The trap that a lot of liberals get trapped into with this whole "non judgment" thing is that they want so badly to believe that everyone is just a poor victim that can't control their actions. Some guy murdered and raped 40 little boys? Oh, :( don't judge he was probably depressed. Some girl manipulated a guy into marrying him, then fucked the mailman, divorced him, and now he lives in a hotel while she sleeps in his house? Oh :( she's really just lonely that's what it is...

The key is to realize that although you shouldn't judge, there IS objective "truth/morality."

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>>27100236
>there IS objective "truth/morality."
Go on to /lit/ with that.
I dare you.
I fucking dare you.

>>27099873
OP here.

This is my stack:

>100-200mg Modafinil
>1500mg Aniracetam (it's better than piracetam)
>500mg CDP-Choline

>>27100262
how do you get all that shit?

>>27100260
There are like four smart people on /lit/. Two of them are stan and rei lol. I doubt many there would be capable of arguing any position without falling all over themselves.

>>27100291
what is an internets

>>27099920
>>27099983

Listen to >>27099945

Stop being so autistic. I don't give a shit who "considers" Jung and Freud to be, there is still an enormous amount of wisdom and insight in their theories, and like it or not, their theories can still be used to understand human nature.


>>27100068
From what I've encountered, it could be one of two things:

Either
>You had someone close to you that was very passive aggressive
or
>You used to be/still are a bit passive aggressive.

Do you think that it's either of these?

>>27100262
Does that stack actually work? Also, isn't modafinil supposed to take away the need to sleep? I feel like this is dangerous.

thanks for trying to help people OP, even if some of your views are sophomoric as fuck

>The greatest thing that you can do is to learn about psychology

This is where I stopped reading

You are a fucking homo, end of discussion

>>27099001
This thread has potential for helping a lot of people on this stupid ass board, but y'all gonna turn this into

>how get grill?

>>27100345
I think the problem is the OP turned out to be an idiot

>>27100081
so much negativity on the internet. it's kind of sad.

It is self-improvement. Sometimes you have to start with the external and work your way in.

>>27100229
"If somebody doesn't agree with you they must be fools who have been taught things in the wrong way."
>implying that your statement doesn't apply to your thoughts as well? Implying that there isn't objective truth

You're the second fag to think that Aristotle isn't psychology. Jesus fuck man, you guys sit here and complain about things you're barely even familiar with. Aristotle was the founder of fucking science he established the scientific method and published books on philosophy, psychology, biology, anatomy, nature, optics, math, and like every other possible fucking subject.

And you know now that I think about it I'm kind of sad for you. All I'm trying to do is help some /fit/izens and all you can do is troll and argue about things that you know nothing about.

>>27100291
Get modafinil from a doctor, the other 2 you can order online.

>>27100345
I was thinking the same thing. All these guys want to do is argue to appear superior and fuck sluts.

>>27100300
I can be I do have a problem with expressing myself. alot better now but i say really fucked up stuff and I can get really passionate about stuff or defending someone else like a friend.

Dunno man think I just see myself as weak still

thanks anyway man part of me thinks just let it be I invite this stuff by saying fucked up shit but another part of me lately just wants to speak less and just respond when someones a cunt so i can justify it to myself.

I get really angry/uncomfortable when I Pick up on an uneven social dynamic like if someone gets bullied, Even if I watch game grumps or something I get pissed when they shit on one guy. People hurt even when they pretend it is a joke and part of me just wants to be honest with them without making it a joke.

how do i get over the feeling that i'm worthless and shouldn't even bother trying

i'm stuck in a loser mentality and got no confidence at all, it's a vicious circle that feeds off itself

>>27100389
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGp25fn25Cs

>>27100389
You need to earn it man. That emptyness will follow you until you get old. I was depressed for years til lI decided I was depressed for a reason. You gotta live it everyday, tell yourself you are worth it every time you try even if you fuck up. Happiness is not a right it is earned. Ying and yang and all that shit.

>>27100370
yeah man but Aristotle is about as relevant as Freud is to modern psychology. I think you have no idea about what you are talking about, seriously.

Also, my statement does not really apply to my thoughts.

>you are implying so much bullshit
>that
>you have got to be trolling

>>27100081
>>27100114
I was going to say the same shit...it's all general information that everyone has heard over and over again yet OP acts like it's the "KEY," To being successful.

>go get a 50$ haircut yeah that will get them bitches
>moisturize your face yeah that will get them bitches
>go out traveling! Yeah! It's not like you work just go and leave right now without planning shit!

Fucking Op is hilariously naive, he probably got off one of those PUA forums reading all this philosophy shit and is now "Enlightened."

>>27100262
Why modafinil and not adder all or Ritalin

>>27099588
What does white noise do? What should you do whilst listening to it? Study? Meditate?

>>27100557

The sad part is that none of his advice will give you true confidence

Its obvious he does not understand or know what that is

>>27100300
This might be a stupid question in your opinion but I have to ask. After going off modafinil for like a week or something, do you feel dumb? What I'm trying to ask is whether or not you retain the information you have acquired on the drug when you stop taking it. Also, noticed ANY side-effects?

>>27100586
Why not? I fail to see how getting your shit sorted out, taking pride in your appearance, having interesting life experiences etc wouldn't make someone more confident.

>>27099552
To change yourself you must change your surroundings.

I always had trouble studying/do coursework in my dorm room. I always go to the library, or literally almost anywhere else if possible, my room is the last resort.

I'm getting straight As now pretty much.

>>27100557
>I was going to say the same shit...it's all general information that everyone has heard over and over again yet OP acts like it's the "KEY," To being successful.
There's a difference between being aware of something and applying it. The shit is repeated over and over because it works.

not op btw

>>27100657

Because all those things fade over time

Your confidence should have nothing to do with external factors, or what you do or do not accomplish

>>27100262
Never tried any of these things - are they addictive? Will I feel down and energyless if I stopped using them suddenly? Also what would I say to a doctor to get Modafinil?

Awesome thread btw, and thanks in advance.

>>27099443

The whole idea behind 'just being yourself' is that you improve areas of your life but maintain the same values you always did. Some of the stuff posted in these threads is useful, but social interaction isn't simply a cheat code you can input to get people to like you. It may work on a superficial level in that it gets the desired reaction from people, but it won't be you, and subsequently your relationships won't be for you. Incorporate the useful advice but interpret it on your own terms; if you don't want to go and play an instrument then don't do it. If you think the popular guy is a cunt, don't hang out with him. Be genuine with yourself and you will have genuine relationships. Inb4 'you're a pussy'; I never go to bed feeling lonely.

Also, leave 4chan.

>>27100718
I agree with you but I think you're missing the point. If you have yourself sorted internally the external stuff will fall into line. If you don't, trying to accomplish things is a great way to learn the lessons that will let you sort yourself out internally, especially for a young man. Plus you need to accomplish things if you don't want to be a broke beta who eats shit for life.

>>27100370
modafinil from doctor in what country?

>>27100370
which country are you in for doctors prescription for modiflin?

>>27099001
OP, halp.
I'm talking to a girl that I've known for almost a year now. Spent awhile being her beta best friend who she knew was interested in her, but she was actually interested in me too (and she admitted that, I'm not assuming) but didnt want to risk our friendship in a relationship. Eventually we get to what she sees as a point of no return in attraction and we try being a thing, we fool around a bit, the relationship lasts like three days. Shock and awe though, we're still great friends two months later and I can still sense some attraction from her side.

Right now she is PMSing and I'm having trouble developing "safe" responses because shes on a biological rollercoaster of emotions, as expected. I need help with the mental aspect of girls you listed:
>Learn how to decipher the emotional subtext of a conversation. Girls communicate mainly with emotions, and guys tend to use logic. If you can learn to understand her emotions and how you should respond, your life with women will become so much easier.

She say's "I feel ugly. And friendless =(" because PMS and because it's summer at the moment, not a lot of people left on campus which is 2 hours away from me but she is there alone in an apartment. Honestly though she's kind of bad at keeping friends besides me. She gets a lot of attention from guys interested in her but she's VERY low on female friends.
I responded by consoling her, saying she isn't ugly, I care about her etc. etc. and she says "Thanks, but I don't feel that way"

What the fuck do I need to say to be supportive for this girl?

>>27100793
This is good advice.

My entire life I was kind of an outcast and I let every good opportunity pass me by.

But that is all slowly changing and turning around.

I have three different friend circles that I enjoy being a part of. I got my shit together in school and stopped getting Cs and Ds and have moved back up to As and Bs where I belong. I have started lifting, and stopped eating shit food and drinking soda.

For the first time in a very long time I really feel good about myself. I even mustered up the courage to ask out a few different girls, something that was unheard of for me for so many years.

I might never get jacked like I want to, but mark my words /fit/. I'm making it.

>>27100868
bump, accepting all opinions. Basically just need to know how to be "supportive" to girls. I feel like I am but I'm getting direct feedback that says contrary.

This girl tells me about a bunch of things that she's upset about but they're all essentially trivial (not) problems: I didn't work out today (she has a fantastic body without doing much and she started working out a lot in the past few weeks, havent seen her in 6 weeks but I can only assume she looks even better now), I have a genetics test tomorrow (she got the second highest grade in a class of several hundred last test and did better on a practice test than I did when I took the class last semester) etc. So all I really feel like I need to say is something like you know you've got it in the bag, dont stress out about it, you're going to do great. I can sort of tell that there's something wrong with saying all that, but I don't know what I should say otherwise to be "supportive." According to her all of that was not being supportive.

yuropoor here
About modafinil: where can you buy it online (without prescription)?
superdrugstoresaver.com, epharmacydrugstore.com or...?

>>27101245
>superdrugstoresaver.com
superdrugsaver.com (it has a bunch of downtime)

>>27100840
>prescription for modiflin?
I don't know in murica, but in yurop you usually need a prescription for it

>>27099582
top kek

>>27099917
Actually, "be yourself" is great advice, but it's a matter of knowing who yourself is. It's the simplest way to express a larger idea, but because of that it leaves out a lot of important details.

You're socially awkward because you're afraid to let people know what you think. You fear being ridiculed or teased, probably because this happened at some point in your childhood, and you never quite recovered. You're afraid you can't be loved.

You need to be the best you that you can be. "Be yourself" means don't try to be a different kind of person than you are. If you're quiet and introverted, don't try to be the life of the party, everyone will be able to tell it's fake and this will only reenforce your negative self perception. Do be open to talking to one or two people at a time, and don't shy away from your opinions or ignorance on something. Be honest. Intelligent people will respect your opinions even if they differ from theirs. And if someone gives you shit about it, they're not worth trying to befriend.

>>27101230
> Basically just need to know how to be "supportive" to girls. I feel like I am but I'm getting direct feedback that says contrary.

You are not supposed to be supportive(or at least not in the way you are) with chicks, that makes you their good little friend whom they can run to when their emotions are out of balance. It makes you that emotional little tampon they can hurl their shit at, it makes you the validation guy who they get all the validation they need from. It kills attraction but wins you friend points.

Its not your job to comfort her all the time and make her feel better and its not gonna get you laid man.

If you keep playing this role of emotional provider she will drop you. You are failing her tests big time.

When she comes up with this trivial bullshit, joke it away. Counter it with humor, it will make her feel better and even though you are not comforting her you are still making her feel better and once her feels are different she will drop this buuhuu i am so insecure.

>>27101822

You can pull off being the supportive guy if you're able to flat out tell her if she does something retarded.

>>27101920
>You can pull off being the supportive
but why the fuck would you be the supportive guy?

Its nothing wrong supporting each other and being nice and all that. But being the "supportive guy" is just stupid and beta

>>27101822
Thanks. That's something I definitely keep in mind when I'm talking to her. There was a point where I was definitely that validation friend, before we had our short fling: something bad happens, I'm the first person she calls but I've kind of gotten away from being that person, on my part at least. Like I said she doesn't have too many close friends to go to so she still tries to go to me for a lot of it so I try to brush it off or tell her straight up when she's causing her own problems rather than validating her reaction. I just need to get better at keeping a conversation going I think, knowing what to say, how to joke it away like you said.

>>27101956

>the guy people go to when shit gets real
>beta

Did you just not have a dad? The only way to be beta in this role is if you're an enabling doormat.

>>27102033
Sure no problem.

Why don't she got that many friends? And how often does something bad happen? sounds like she got mental problems. Red flags. Is she really worth the hassle? (Don't even answer just ask your self that)

Maybe this book can help you out
http://www.scribd.com/doc/28849140/Practical-Female-Psychology-for-the-Practical-Man

>>27102116


How you see yourself:
>the guy people go to when shit gets real

The reality:
>the guy people go to when they want to dump their baggage and no one else will put up with their bullshit.

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>>27099001
I tend to fall in love too easily with women. How do I just see women as friends and not as someone who I want to fuck or be with?

This is the curse I have
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

>>27103512
I think OP has left us friend.

>>27103646
Shit.
Well if you or anyone else has any advice I'm all ears.

>>27101230
As someone who has pulled this self-deprecating shit countless times, the best thing to do is listen, then calmly but firmly tell her it's nothing to worry about. Avoid heaping on praise and compliments as that always makes girls feels worse when they're already in the emotional shitter.
Basically, be logical, objective, and give her space without being condescending.

>>27103646

Is it purely a physical attraction?

>>27099783
What if you're bald?

>>27103512
I'll tell you how

Stop doing that

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>>27099193
Except Psychiatry and psychology are pseudoscience though OP.... Go ahead show me your scientific articles, prove me wrong that these aren't just schemes to sell you drugs and get people money.

>>27104072
If I could I would.
It's fucking hell in my mind when it comes with women.

>>27100559

Its considered that the dexanphetamines nootropic properties are that they increase actyl choline receptors, aneracitam does this without the crash, streamline concentration and hyperactivity that comes with the dex family. Furthermore modifinil works on the GAba receptors, another key aspect to thinking and alertness, but doesnt give that jittery pump that the dex famil does. and choline is for the supliment to help the aniracetam.

so what you get it
>wakefullness rather than a false sense of hyperactivity/alertness (imagine being wide awake naturally and having a cup of coffee vs taking a bunch of redbull)
>actylcholine stimulation to help think, form ideas, concentrate without the other shit that goes with the dex

im not the guy who recommends this stack, he might have different reasoning. i would prefer piracetam for study, and oxyracetam for socialising.

>>27100725

2 ways

stressful shift work and require it to stay awake during the hours of night,

and

narcolepsy

>>27101230


i swear to god that girls dont want you to fix their problems they just want to vent.

ive literally lost friendships over giving advice to them.

why doesnt she talk to me any more? she is being such a bitch! i want my friend back!
>maybe if you call her you'll find out what's wrong
Why do i have to call her , you always take other people's side
>you cant tell me you want to be friends with her and not make any effort to do so
you dont understand!

this has happened more than once, now i just agree with a combination of adjectives

>>27104842

>i swear to god that girls dont want you to fix their problems they just want to vent.

You should read Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus

>>27099001
Threads like this really shit me off. This guy thinks he is better than the rest because he read a few books. Top lel faggot we don't need your "knowledge" or "help"

>>27104951

The world isn't out to get you.

Stop being a bitch.

For such an interesting and confident man OP sure is quick to run at the first sign of criticism.

did Eliot Hulse make a thread?

>>27105213

Not enough rambling.

OP sounds like every other "guru" or PUA guy. I guess after spending 5 years studying self-improvement he probably believes the bullshit he is spouting. Not all of his advice is bad, to be fair, however, his attitude simply reeks of arrogance and attention-seeking.

Firstly, OP has no fucking clue about psychology.

>The greatest thing that you can do is to learn about psychology. ALL theories of psychology

Complete, unadulterated bullshit. All ideas are not created equal. While Freud and Jung may be historically important to psychology, their main works and ideas have been discredited for decades. The archetypes and MBTI were made up whole cloth. There is no validity to it, and it saddens me each time I see a thread about it.

Aristotle writing about psychology is a stretch. He didn't have access to modern knowledge, so while he might have had some good ideas, and even valid ones, it wasn't due to the fact that he had some rigorous understanding. Even if his conclusions were correct he didn't have full access to the process, which is pretty much philosophy. Not his fault.

You know what psychologists read? They read scientific studies. Why? Because that is where the actual data is. This is especially important with things like self-improvement because people who are into that sort of thing have a vested interest in what they are doing. Books are often written in whatever flavor one wants to project. The data however (unless fabricated) does not lie.

>>27099896
>Travel, go do things, make friends, take up a martial art, learn to play an instrument
I'm too poor for all of this. What do ?

´>ITT: Idiots despising the idea of self development
You're never gonna make it

holy shit OP, this is some of the stupidest 'advice' ive heard. and can you make it any more vague like
>become interesting
no shit, any retards will be able to tell you that, that's not advice/knowledge, that's just listing a thing, and the format of the rest of the posts are a massive clusterfuck. id recommend something you still need to improve is your writing/communication skills.

seriously, im also on a self improvement year at the moment, and everything you listed is shit that people will figure out in the first month (or retarded shit with way too high work to reward ratio).

>>27105427
Cont.

PUAs and gurus go for the low hanging fruit with this stuff. It is very easy to read a book and pretend to be an expert on a subject. Psychology is one of the easy ones to abuse because it is both a soft and hard science. People who actually understand psychology know its limitations, and the most respect goes to the harder end of experimental psychology. Applied psychology is important and has its place, but much of it relies on informed opinion. Even diagnosable disorders are often expert consensus. Popular psychology and many of the books on personality/self-confidence are on the softest part of the soft end of psych. Many of these amount to nothing more than opinion, backed up by scant, if any real evidence.

So, please stop abusing psychology. You never see this shit with chemistry because one cannot hide behind buzzwords, "expert" opinions, or sophistry.

Also, for fuck's sake you do not need to understand psychology to understand yourself. This drivel desires nothing but derision and scorn.

People have "made it" before modern psychology was conceived. In fact, for people in /fit/ reading this shit would likely make things worse, because it would waste the time that they could be actually improving themselves. You cannot turn life into an RPG. There is no 10 step program to success. Maybe you should have spent those 5 years of intensive study getting an engineering, RN, or real psych degree. That would have gotten you a lot farther.

>>27105517
doing something like that isnt really going to make you interesting, that's a mistake I made at first. When are you going to be able to bring those things up ina conversation without sounding like a douchbag? sometimes you will be able to, but if your goal it to be interesting to a lot of people then its way to much work for being able to mention it once or twice. most people are poor and still have interesting stuff to talk to each other with, the most basic thing you can do it to start watching and playing sport, 80% of people find that interesting (based on my sample size of 5 people). also, no one on the internet can really tell you how to be interesting since it depends on your community what people will find interesting.

also
>make friends
>I'm too poor
wat

>>27104842
>>27104842
grill here, can confirm.
when i am complaining, i am complaining just to get it off my chest. the complaining itself makes me feel better. i want to vent and i want the person i am talking too to just agree "hm yeh, sounds bad. i understand how you feel, that sucks."

i do not want problem solving. if i want advice, i will ask for it.

when someone starts offering me ideas on how to fix something or says something to minimize the problem like: "oh that's not so bad it happens to everyone! just the other day i blah blah blah just like you" it exasperates me and pisses me off.

when i am listening to men, i offer solutions and advice. when i am listening to women i try not to do this, i just commiserate instead.

>>27105702
Sports cost money though. Some are more affordable I guess.

>also
>>make friends
>>I'm too poor
>wat
I had friends, I used to go out with them until a couple of months ago, I'm broke now. I can't afford to go out and I don't want to tell them it's a matter of money. So now they think I'm avoiding them because I don't like them anymore, or because I'm too good for them or some shit like that.

>>27103512
Get laid regularly.
And that's a story for another day.

>>27105735
>Sports cost money
its like $5 for a ball, and the whole group only needs one.

>>27105910
I was thinking of sports clubs.

>>27105709
Surely you realise how selfish and ridiculous what you just said is?

You literally just want someone to stand there and listen to your bullshit and then are going to get mad if they listen and formulate suggestions?

I'm glad you are honest but if you can indentify your behaviour why not change it?

I hope OP is better at self-improvement than he is at communication, 4chan or not being an arse.

>>27106195
why should i change my behavior? if i want to rant, i'll fucking rant. there is nothing "selfish" nad "ridiculous" about it.
there are many people like this, especially women, it is a common phenomenon. venting is perfectly valid behavior.
why should i be grateful for unsolicited advice? like i said, i am capable of changing my listening technique depending on who i'm listening too and what they want. why shouldn't others do the same for me?

it's not like i yell at people for suggesting things. it just gets me agitated. because yes, i have thought about the problem and if you're going to suggest that solution than i am going to tell you why i can't do that and then we start going back and forth and i end up more annoyed than before.

there is more than one acceptable method of communication, and everyone has different needs.
but since you're calling venting "bullshit" i'm guessing that you're pretty ignorant on the subject as well as too arrogant to accept that idea.

>>27099898
Quit 4chan, bro.

If you use firefox, use
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/leechblock/

if you use chrome, use
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/block-site/eiimnmioipafcokbfikbljfdeojpcgbh?hl=en

Seriously. This place is toxic.

>>27106463
Any ideas how to block it in mobile?

>>27106392
You seriously can't see how its selfish? Noone wants to hear your bullshit, learn how to be a functioning human and deal with problems internally rather than being dependent on other people suffering your bullshit.

>>27106392

a classic example of how men and women are completely fucking different

women enjoy their pain but also seek group sympathy

men seek to fix things that pain them and don't want the group to know

this is why men are leaders and women are followers

>>27106528

men don't want to hear her bullshit. she probably thinks we do because so many fucking betas have put up iwth it thinking they'll get in her pants

women crave drama and want to hear that bullshit

>>27106492
Nope

Depends what kind of phone you have, do some googling. Sorry I can't give any better advice.

But some time away from this place can make a big difference. Use that time to do something constructive, like read or practice a skill or school. Make sure you get some socializing though.

After you get through that month, then you can go back. But RESPONSIBLY. So 10-30 minutes a day maximum.

Honestly, browsing on the internet has never, in the history of the world, made anyone happy. Look how unhappy everyone is here.

>>27099001
>try
Nothing will happen if you just "try," faggot

>>27099453
That was a good read, thanks!

How do I develop an unbreakable fighting spirit, I've always been weak and give up too easy.

I plan on giving up everything and everybody and just focus for a given numbers of years on strength training and reading and writing, to become one of the best of all time in both world. I do not give a fuck about anybody, I hate them all and I can't take not being as strong and intelligent as I imagine myself. I am willing to sacrifice anything, never even have a gf or any friends, because all they do is stab you in the back and play around in your brain : every seconds on this earth improving myself period. And I can already do pull ups with one arm, just imagine how far I will get. No one will stop me, no one will even get to talk with me, with their little weak and uneducated faces, fuck off.

>>27100718
cool story bro

>>27107241
Man, you sound like Travis from taxi driver.

Humans are made to have relationships: so are you. Ultimately, very few people can be happy without human relationships - those few are literally autistic/psychopathic.

You won't feel better by just improving yourself 24/7. That life is as empty. You will grow old and weak and die and every second would be meaningless. Go travel and make friends (real ones) and make some memories.

> because all they do is stab you in the back and play around in your brain

That is retarded. I'm sorry if you have had some bad experiences, but no way that everyone is out to hurt you. That is some paranoid schizo shit. If you exist - who doesn't want to do that - why can't there be others?

Don't reject other people. It's worth all the efforts to find some real friends and a gf you loves you (it doesn't even matter if she's ugly!)
Don't rely on them for fulfillment, but they can be an addition to a very happy life.

tldr:
>Not all ppl are bad, try and find the good ones.
>Your life is a balance between self improvement and other things
>go out and make memories
>get off 4chan, obviously you have got some toxic ideas from this shithole

excellent self improvement book. Seems like PUA shit, but there is a lot of genuine merit.

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/book_of_pook.pdf

>>27107451
My level of maditude is too high

>>27107844
Well, suit yourself. I just think it's a bad choice bro.