How big do you have to be to become a bouncer?
What's it like?
doesn't matter how big you are when some coked up dosser comes at you with a knife
>>42062560
I used to work with a guy who was a bouncer, he was 5'6" and average build. He said it was mostly carrying drunk people out of the venues, and only once was there violence and he got stabbed in the knee. He didn't recommend that line of work.
>>42062582
The only way he can hurt you with an average knife is of he hits your neck. A bouncer worth his salt should be able to chicken wing the vulnerable side of his neck and btfo the fiend with his free fist. I assuming bouncers have a partner too?
How many jars of peanut butter do you go through every day?
Preferred brand?
Spoon, fork, or fingers?
enjoy your cysts faggot
This is my preferred PB, 91 grams of protein in one of these bad boys.
Carrots dipped in peanut butter. BEST SNACK EVER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQsli2jc-8Y
How is you summer body coming along femanons?
@42058607
Good so far ! Guys are annoying looking at my booty in the mirror when I'm squatting, don't really see why if I'm there to workout, but I messed up today and eat a slice of chocolate cake. Gonna have to work out EVEN HARDER (if possible) tomorrow in the gym to make up for it !!
i am a gril does anyone want to see my penis?
>>42058661
no mentally ill boys here pls, this thread is exclusively for biological females
Even fucking BOOGIE knows that ketogenic diets are the way to go.
What's your excuse for not being on a keto diet right now, /fit/?
I have only met fat people in real life who talk about keto.
>>42057378
I did keto to end a 6 month long cut, works really well to lose fat, but it ain't good for your health.
Ketosis produces ketonic bodies and your body doesn't like that
>>42057368
>no-carb diet
>leaves only protein and fats
>"I also replace the fats with proteins"
So boogie ate nothing but lmao20scoops per day?
Thread for all vegans and people interested in the vegan lifestyle.
Meat eaters NOT allowed!
Just imagine what a wonderful place a vegan world would be. No obesity epidemic, no diabetic children, no unnecessary torturing and murdering of animals, a happier, healthier and almost heart disease and cancer free society.
But I guess rotten corpses are too yummy for the braindead...
>Smug Cunt General
Ftfy
>>42057007
Salty chublet omnis BTFO please
>>42056976
How do I into veganism as a fat neet who doesn't buy his groceries?
Now that we’re about half way through the year, any predictions for anything that might make it into Sir’s New Year’s comic from the last few months?
I dont know. It's like year after year there are less epic threads or funny shit that happens on /fit/.
I can't name one funny thing to should be in the next comic that wasn't already used.
Boogie making a doritos and mountain dew protein shake
>>42056470
This is why I always mean to make a list but I never start because less and less shit happens
All I can think of is
>are you working out?
>boogies death
And that's about it
Lately I've been wondering what is even the point of lifting natty.
Pros:
>Not even bad for general health
>Making effortless gains
>Looking anabolic 24/7 rather than having to abuse lighting and pumps just to look decent as a natty
>Can be more loose on your diet and still maintain a lean physique due to nutrient partitioning
>Contrary to popular belief you actually KEEP most of your gains once you go off cycle
>Looking like a demi god
Cons:
>No real info on long term effects of use
>Needles
>Minimal side effects from irresponsible use and improper PCT
Seems like an easy choice to me anon.
>>42064488
>Looking like a vain cunt who only attracts other vain cunts.
Believe it or not but most girls think thats too much and you'll spend more time on yourself then her. Unless you gay then go ahead be a gay vain cunt with the other gay vain cunts.
>taking PEDs if you're not a top prospect in a sport
For what purpose?
>>42064525
Lifting for girls lol
Why do non lifters resent you so much? Especially fucking nerds?
I'm in my junior year of computer engineering and lots of guys seem to resent me and shit just because I'm muscular. These guys act like I'm a dumb meathead but I have a 3.7gpa.
Some pudgy, pompous nerd in a group project made a smug comment saying "haha there's no way to spend hours in the gym if you wanna be successful in this major"
I said "Instead of playing fucking league of legends 20 hours a week maybe you could use that time to not be a fag and go to the gym dude"
I completely took his bait and he made me look like a fucking idiot, he said "wow looks like the roids are getting to your head there, might wanna calm down anon!" and everyone laughed.
Fuck man
>>42060596
if comp eng. nerds actually punk you like this IRL you probably don't look as muscular as you think you do
post body
yeah just ignore it, and prove him wrong by doing better than him at your major
They're all jealous gains goblins. Don't let them get to you OP.
As we speak, there are people on this board RIGHT NOW that ACTUALLY make their protein shakes with water instead of milk
>not eating it off your gf
>>42053990
I hate milk.
>>42054000
>gf
yes please
>take shower
>scrub armpits like crazy with a loofah until they feel raw
>they still smell awful
am I destined to be a body odorlet?
change your diet you retard
Use soap don't just rub them idiot
>>42067166
all i eat is chicken, eggs and veggies
Can anyone explain why I look like shit?
>>42067024
You don't actually lift and you carry a bit of fat around the obliques like a lot of people do.
You can fix this by building your upper body, you're symmetrical so there should be no problem.
>>42067024
cos your shorts are 1-1 1/2 inches too low
>>42067024
You just look like a dude. Lift some more if you're really not happy with it though.
>mfw retards only care about muh macros
>completely disregarding the toxic preservatives/chemicals included in the food
>>42066569
Do you have a list of what to avoid?
>>42066805
conservatives are carcinogenic, anything with roundup or gmo's is also bad. Most additives are bad but some additives are just isolated natural additives made scary sounding. Avoiding simple carbs, going for mostly complex carbs. Avoiding added sugars or sugar replacements.
Just think of it like this way "was this food like this 300 years ago?" If no, then dont eat it.
The only good thing industrialization did to food was to allow more foreign and nutritionally packed food to enter your super markets, and isolating minerals and stuffs from rarer foods, and processing it in such a way that its more potent (like curcumin).
But those are the only two modern things that are good with food. The rest more or less are just greedy, fat ridden, cancer causing failures.
>>42066569
>IIFYM below paleo and keto
>Keto separate from atkins
Wrong
IIFYM is just below the "calibrating..." diet, keto and atkins are identical. IIFYM doesn't mean every meal has to be a cheeseburger.
>>42066805
Bacon, salami, fatty cheeses, cow milk, beef, pork, chicken, soy/pea protein "meat", isolates like corn syrup, sugar and whey/rice/soy/etc protein
>went drinking on friday night
>wake up sorta fucked up
>meh it's not so bad, ignore hangover and hit the gym
>first few sets feel really pathetic but get through my workout regardless
>feeling fine towards the end
>feeling so well I decide to go to the sauna
>20 minutes and chill and my heart starts racing
>head feels like its about to explode
>abort mission
>as I'm heading towards the showers I start to black out
>can't see shit captain.jpg
>finally stumble my way to the shower and blast cold stream
>recover after few minutes
Not today Zyzz, not like this !
there's a word for this heart-racing/almost-fainting thing, and could be indicative of underlying heart issues and should be checked out. maybe someone else here remembers what it's called.
>>42066529
Thats scary at least youre alright
Dont workout with alcohol in your system kids
>>42066551
Amen, never doing that again
When cutting, is it completely fine to have a 24h fast 2-3 days a week AS LONG as you reach the same weekly deficit?
Or will I lose more muscle this way somehow?
>>42066303
>>42066303
YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOU LOVE.
>>42066303
yeah but drink some coffee black or tea cause your gonna feel like shit. NO SUGAR OR FOOD. You will lose slight muscle but your body will be put into ketosis in about a day. You can either refill with carbs or keep feeding your body fat since it's being adapted to eat fat.
Five day water fast results. Just do it lad, feels great.
Hi /fit/ I'am a really weak cunt and wish to become as strong as possible as soon as possible. I go to BJJ about 5 times a week but my strength is so pathetic and I really feel its holding me back a lot (at least during training)
How much strength is reasonable to gain if I go for a normal beginner cycle testo? Haven't researched it too much yet but surely will if I decide to go for it.
These are my lifts (including bar)
40kg bench press
60kg squat
80kg deadlift
>takes steroids before youve even finished your noob gains
just get on starting strength, you should gain about 15 lbs on all your lifts per week
>>42065969
That sounds insane, is that seriously what the avg joe gets in strength gains?
>>42065955
>jumping right to the roids
For starters stop training 5 days a week like a dummy. Cut down to 2 or 3, and use the off days to do a strength routine. You'll probably just gonna hurt yourself on gear with weak ass lifts like that.