Right? It was so depressing....yet I was the creator of my isolation. I was the only person to blame for my situation.
Also doesn't help I was coming off of opiates, so my dopamine levels where wack as fuck.
After those 3 depressing ass months I decided fuck that shit and I am going to change my life trajectory. Finally got up off my ass and got enrolled again and got a job. Doing waaaaaay better now. I'm even clean off opiates now.
Even though it sucked dick I wouldn't change it for the world cause it made me who I am today and I went through some really crazy existential thoughts that I am happy to have dealt with.
If you live in an Urban Area >force yourself to go to art shows, concerts, museums, walks, parks. Really just go out and have fun even if you have no one to go with embrace introversion. If you live in a rural environment >hikes, walks, go to stores and make yourself talk to people, bars if you're old enough
>live in a house with other students and and retired landlords >wake up today, saturday, around 1 pm >hear her say 'bye, have a nice day' to 2 or 3 students >realize they all go out and I wont again >one more weekend spent in my room, going out to sushi place and seven eleven and that's it
Something somewhere went terribly wrong. I dont have any friends or a gf, nobody to do shit with or call me somewhere. Also so anxious because of my acne, which I half-succesfully mask with makeup. Started accutane a month and a half ago tho, so should be clearing up soon.
i am sorry for you bros who cannot enjoy being by themselves. I was NEET for like a year. dropped out of HS, didnt leave house etc. was amazing. i watched tons of movies n shit (got into arthouse). but I still enjoy going outside and school, so college is 1000x better than HS because I can say fuck off to everyone and never talk, no standing around in the lunch room and having people forcibly talk to me. I just dislike being around people, I dont get anxiety or anything, and I communicate fine, I just get 0 enjoyment out of other people. i dont believe introvert/extrovert bullshit. and being shy is different than being asocial, and asocial is different from being antisocial.
>>8900117 going to concerts alone is great. just walk up to the front before the bands come out and enjoy the music, no worrying about friends being near you or enjoying it, nothing to think about but purely what you're experiencing at that moment.
that 2 months I mentioned felt like an eternity. When I think back on it now I'm like "shit I could have sworn it was at least 6"
also I realized being alone for that long will make you literally go crazy and think of weird fucked up shit all day. I had an existential crisis and that was really when depression sank in for the first time.
I'm doing much better now though. Much like what you said I learned a very important lesson about life, apathy, and being alone. no one else could ever teach me what I experienced and was thinking at the time.
I never went back to school and still don't exactly know where my life is going but I have a job that puts food on the table and lets me live comfortably.
>>8900117 >>force yourself to go to art shows, concerts, museums, walks, parks. Really just go out and have fun even if you have no one to go with embrace introversion. >If you live in a rural environment >>hikes, walks, go to stores and make yourself talk to people, bars if you're old enough
Problem is I can't do anything on my own. I want to be with somebody and talk shit and stuff for everywere I go. I can't force myself to just go alone to some concert or museum?
Especially a museum. With whom I am to have discussions and stuff?
>>8902333 >>8902333 Maybe it's just my personality, but when I go to Art Museums with friends or family I almost always end up walking around by myself. I just find it much more thought provoking and less stressful if I'm by myself. I don't have to speed up because people are bored and I don't have to deal with shitty close minded comments. It's definitely not for everyone but I like it. Maybe if you're uncomfortable with being by yourself but have no one to go with just strike up conversations with people while you're there. Meet new people and don't give a fuck because if they don't want to talk to you you're never going to see them again anyways. Otherwise I love late night walks by myself. If you are in an Urban environment even a rural one would work you might want to pick up photography or running maybe even cycling they're hobbies that force you to get out and you'll probably end up talking to people while you're doing it. As a bonus you also won't seem as much of a loner for being by yourself if you're doing one of these. I'd really just experiment and push yourself out of your comfort zone otherwise you'll just continue to revert to what you're used to.
/fa/ is it stupid of me to have this fear and disposition towards drinking and partying?
I've never really drank before (and I'm 20) and I've just always thought of it as something extremely unhealthy and stupid but the double edge is I usually don't get invited to parties anymore just on that matter.
My gf has been going out to parties a lot more, and it always bugs me and makes me think a little less of her when she says she did something stupid when she was drunk, and she only stops temporary when something REALLY stupid happens.
Is it something I should just get the fuck over, or is there any truth to my dispophobia?
Well, if you have tried alcohol and you genuinely don't like it, then you genuinely don't like it.
But (and this might sound silly), you might just not have found a good-tasting drink or developed a taste for it. As with many things, beer, wine, cocktails, etc. are very much about acquired tastes. I hated beer in college but am now very fond of it with the right meal or might just be in the mood for one.
If you feel like not enjoying alcohol is inhibiting your social life, though, you might want to use this old trick: just nurse a drink all night. Take a few sips and just hold on to it. People do feel a little awkward if they're all drinking and you're the one hold out—it's a natural thing—and this is just a nice way to keep things comfortable in a social setting.
If your issue is with drunkenness (and in your significant other), then that's a whole other matter and one that deserves to be discussed honestly. If you feel that your partner isn't able to imbibe responsibly (or at least own up to her own silliness when drunk), then that's probably a point of serious friction that isn't going to go away and worth talking about in an honest way.
>>8903879 Joke's on you, we are actually on and off right now >>8903876 >>8903864 These are both really good suggestions. Nursing a drink isn't that bad, I could probably do it.
A lot of it comes from culture + health I think. I was raised in one of those "Don't do all these things" type of family, where my mom was into it and jesus I did not want to be like my mom, who is constantly bedridden now and drank all the time. The culture part is just how a lot of people grow up with the stigma that "drinking is bad" and you'll die if you do it even a bit, rather than just raising people to know that "drinking is fine like anything in moderation." Anyways, I'll try these things, thanks anon.
>>8903894 Yeah, I've really only had a total of maybe a beer collectively my whole life. I just kinda hate how stupid people get on it, but yeah a change in social group might be a better thing as well.
Also, there's a difference between a shitty Bud Light and a small batch craft beer. Or even just a non-shitty large scale brewery like an Anchor Steam or Stella Artois. Given your age, I wouldn't be surprised if your friends are just guzzling swill, but that comes with the territory of being young and wanting the most booze for your buck.
>>8903928 Makes sense. They had an open bar at a jazz gig I was playing at recently and tried some of my friend's drinks and thought they were pretty good. The White Russian I had was pretty good, even though it seemed a bit girly. Guess it is definitely a thing of personal taste. I'll probably find out a lot more about it when I'm 21.
>>8903853 I used get really depressed when drinking on a night out often, also drank WAY too much on many occassions, feeling like shit the whole day after that. People act really weird when partying and drinking, it's like they try to live out everything they lack during the whole week, and seeing them do so, groups of young and old people doing nothing useful or even fun, made me really depressed about humanity. Now I still drink a lot but only to meals or with a small group of close friends in a pub or at home. It feels good and is fun, so I guess it's the atmosphere that matters. Alcohol raises your feels so it's important to be in an eviroment that makes you feel good, otherwise the bad feeling you can repress while sober will get to you.
You should just cut off connections to people who don't give you good vibes, maybe even your gf, and get more friends that share your interests.
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