Hey effays, valentine's is right around the corner and want

Full rick

>>10946691
What?

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it makes my dick diamonds when cuties like my gf wear long sleeve turtlenecks

>>10946703
rick owens

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>>10946705
Something like this?

Anyone else?

Mine dressed like a school girl for me last week I recommend that

>>10946764
v creepy

>>10946686
MODS MODS MODS

>>10946719
should be skin tight for maximum hotness

>>10946705
>>10946719
try hard shit tier
we get it, you have a tumblr and carry books in your tote bags

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>>10946774
This?

>>10946776
ding ding ding

>>10946775
u mad bro???????????????? just wondering cause i dont like to bully others like u bb xx

>>10946686
Why has nobody commented on the fucking hexbug lol

>>10947242
Idk

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>>10946686

>getting sextoys for your girlfriend

In all honesty, you are a fucking cuck. You're a cuckold. You may as well get her a hung black dude for her next birthday since you apparently can't do the job. Do you think she just appreciates it and is thankful? Pretty sure she fakes excitement, they all feign excitement at gifts but it's what they think after that counts. Does it ever cross your mind that women might think - and they do - that you need sex toys because your penis doesn't provide enough excitement and pleasure? I've never had to buy a sex toy for my girlfriends, I just fuck them long and raw and hard and it's enough, because I have enough.

The only women who should have sex toys are single women and women in their old age who masturbate recreationally. No young girlfriend should ever have to own a sex toy. What the fuck is the boyfriend for then?

>hurr my extra fun durr

Shut up. You wouldn't need some plastic/material shit if you had enough man meat.

>>10947316
>check out this fag

>>10947316

did you realize how mad you were going?

>>10947316
This. Buying sex toys is highschool tier.

>>10947344
She is in high school

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>>10947316
get a load of this GUY, stay frosty my dude

>Vagina is too tight to fit anything
Oh lol. Ohh lol

>>10947316

had a girlfriend who told me she was glad I was thick enough because her ex had to do all kind of shit to get her off. the whole whip/clothes/dildo shit

they may seem like they want that kind of thing but they really prefer good, natural fucking, hence why you see women's sexual preference tends to lean towards "real" guys who don't do any of that weird shit

I'm just 7"x6.5" so i'm pretty average, you just don't have to be small

>>10947354

ayyyy

Buy her some nice stockings and maybe a garter belt if you and her like that. She can wear them in real life and feel sexy knowing that under her clothes there is a nice surprise and when she takes of her other clothes there is still that sexy thing.
Nice for you to look at and she will probably feel sexy, which makes any woman (or high school girl in your case) prettier.

>>10947423

>she will probably feel sexy, which makes any woman (or high school girl in your case) prettier.

This isn't true. Many women if not all, lose points when they are giving a blowjob and feeling sexy. You would know this after a while, and it's part of why men have hard time orgasming from blowjobs. A 9/10 becomes a 6/10 when giving a blowjob for some reason, and a 5/10 become a 2/10. That is why the lowest you should date is 3/10 because lower than 0/10 you may as well not get oral. It's mostly becomes most women have weak chins, so when they are opening their mouth like that it looks like a trout sucking for air.

But yes stockings help, the reason above is why when I get oral, I get a mirror and place it in front of me, that way I can see the back of her head bobbing up and down and her ass/thighs in stockings and that's hot af

>>10947332
>>10947333
>>10947358
>micro penis baby dicks detected

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>>10947445
>tfw 7"
>tfw baby dick

You win anon XD

>>10947438

Nice tan, Halberstram!

>>10947242
I was wondering this also haha, like this is a common occurrence or something

Just get something from Agent Provocateur, no need to reinvent the wheel.

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>>10946841
Go for a cashmere turtleneck instead.

Nothing like resting your face against a pair of cashmere boobies.

I want a highschool gf too

>>10946686
dont steal pics from out

>>10947372
>6.5" girth
>pretty average

yeah fuck right off

perfect white girl booty in op pic

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>>10947316
Did you ever once think that maybe they attend university states away from each other? Or leave for work trips weeks on end? Or that solo masturbation is a healthy thing to do anyway? Or you getting this mad is why it's so hard for you to get an intelligent & sexy woman? Who hurt you?

>>10947855

>long distance relationships

You sound like a whore who cheats on people. I could identify you as a whore because only a woman could come up with such a shitty twist on the typical "who hurt you" reply

>>10947948
who hurt u though

>>10946686
> her vagina is way too tight to fit anything in.

You know you have to turn her on first huh?

>>10947979
Hahaha she is

>>10946686 women's Undercover is really cool

>>10947948
not her but bet you get all the ladies. your autism is showing btw.

>>10947991

She might have vaginismus?

>>10947438

what the fugg are you on about

>>10947316

jesus christ

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>>10948053

I get enough and I don't need to buy toys to please her because I have enough where it matters. The most I've made a woman orgasm in a day is 5 times and guess what? You won't achieve that with your pencil dick, nor with that Hello Kitty vibrator that you use on your bitch. I took up advice on the internet and did kegel exercises and have been doing them for about 3 years now and not only has it increased my stamina bu also my girth, you better believe my woman won't need some shitty cucumber nor need to pretend she's some slave tied to a bed. I have all she would ever need in my pants because that's how it should be and that's how man has pleased woman since the dawn of time. Why do you think they always leave those weird tiny-dicked Mr. Grey wannabes for people like me.

Want to know how much I last? The longest I've lasted is close to 24 hours. We had a session for about 8 hours, went to sleep and the whole next day we had sex. This was the first time I ever slept with a woman too, I'm not one of those chumps who orgasmed in the first minute - the same kind to later go on to become cuckolds who buy black boyfriends for their girlfriends. Yeah you might think "wow this guy is too good to be true and it's on the internet so I know it's not true", but hear this, everything I say is exactly how it is. From you being a cuckold to my superior sexual drive. Yeah you can keep not believing but know that I'm the better man because I don't need toy shit

Pic related, it's how your girlfriend sees you if you buy a sex toy for her

>>10948199
Damn, epic meme bro! XD

I want to learn from you senpai :^

>>10948199
holy fuck this is pasta right?

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>>10948199

Holy shit, this guy is still at it?

8.5/10 for determination

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>>10947316

pls have sex.

>>10948199

where does this obsession with cuckolding come from?
you dont sound too good to be true, you sound like you're in the middle of a psychotic meltdown

>>10948266

It's not an obsession, that's why I said "to be honest, you're a cuck", because I don't use the insult often but it seems the case when you need to buy a sex toy for a girlfriend. Wouldn't you agree it renders the boyfriend useless?

>b-but it's more fun if the boyfriend uses toys hurrr derf

Anything the boyfriend can do with the toy the girl can do herself. If he's going to buy her a toy he may as well find her a new boyfriend

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>>10948199

maybe i need to lurk more because i've never seen this pasta before.

also

>have sex pls

>>10948261
>>10948277

Sounds to me like you're intimidated, that it couldn't possibly be true because you can't possibly imagine yourself being able to do that

I'd say I understand, but I don't

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>>10948286
>>10948274

This is gold. Gold, I tell ya!

pls keep posting

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>>10948286

that's just the thing, anon - you're just imagining yourself. i almost feel sorry for your crippling autism.

pls have sex.

How old is copy pasta anon?

Cause I feel any answer he gives is going to be a bad one.

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>>10948303

So you readily admit it's beyond the scope of what you consider possible. It's ok dicklet, but go ahead and post your dick size, I want to laugh at you. In case you haven't noticed, I samefagged, I am this guy:

>>10947372

And everything I typed there is true as well. I bet I've cucked a few men like yourself, weird fucks who buy dragon dildos for their girlfriends (because they can't do it) and then wonder why she leaves you. So compare yourself to me, because I'm obviously the bigger man here. Honestly though, I have typed no fantasy or "imagination", you can insist that I "have sex pls" but I have and do have sex. Perhaps you mean *your* kind of sex, a minute and a half of sluggish thrusts and then pulling out with an ugly grin on your face because you already dribbled out that smelly shit in your phallus. Then, because you are already pathetically finished, you fumble over the counter for that smelly shit-stained dildo and your girlfriend pretends to be happy.

Well she's not, I think we can reach a consensus that people who buy toys for their female partners are better off becoming gay. Why, you ask? Because chances are she has already joked about you to her friends, faggot. Oh and that you keep suggesting i'm a troll doesn't make this any less true, it's just you trying to invalidate what I say because it's too big for you

>>10948356

Did you write this >>10947438 too?

>>10947438
What the fuck are you talking about? Maybe you need a bj from a strong chinned man you fucking faggot.

>>10948364

No what the fuck is that shit

>>10946686
just pay her in cash like you normally do, champ

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>>10948404
Hahaha haven't paid her.

>>10948418
bro just begin one of ur legendary 24 hour fuck sessions at 11:59 pm february 13, then don't stop until president's day.

if u do it right she'll forget valentines day even happened

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>>10948356

>i make up stories and spew them out on the internet so people will think i am a manly pussy slaying stud
>if you don't believe me you have a small penis

nice try fagboy.

PLEASE have sex.

>>10948443

Minutelet detected

Send your gf over to me for Valentine's Day, she won't be your gf by the end of it but you'll know I speak truth

>>10948446

Perfectly logical, I have no reason to lie over the internet, you don't know who I am and never will. So what reason do I have to lie, pray tell

The only explanation is you think it's impossible for you. But that's where you fuck up, because I am not you.

Keep buying your pink dildos bro, got to keep that gf satisfied eh?

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My gf btw

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>>10948456

you're getting way too riled up, pham. your fedora must be too tight.

have sex pls.

>>10947459
Prove it

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>>10948457

>tattoo

>>10948457
dude your girlfriend is black

>>10948457

>putting pictures of your bitch on the internet

I told you that you were a cuckold, you probably get off on the thought that someone masturbates to your whore, right? Faggot?

Chances are that if you're posting pictures of her online you think she's disposable anyway, which therefore means you probably know she has already cheated on you.

>tattoo

Yep, she's cheated on you. You're a disaster if this post is true m8

>>10948469
http://imgur.com/wQedgmh.jpg

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>>10948475
She is XD

>>10947316
First of all, the toy he bought her was to stimulate her clit, right, do you know what that is? Then you realize it has nothing to do with penetration, which is the only thing a dick is good for, so you're saying she should never need something like that, so then I guess their boyfriend would have to eat them out all the time to get that feeling, because they only need their boyfriend for sex and not themselves? And could you not say the same thing about men never having to use porn if they had a girlfriend because they already have their gf (no extra fun allowed apparently) because they have someone to actually physically fuck? Also, you're retarded.

>>10948463

You never had a chance to win by the end of this thread, because by the end of it, you will still be the weirdo who buys dildos and strange sex toys to make up for what he lacks in manhood, whereas I will be the type of guy your gf leaves you for

>>10948478
Reported
Also you have a retard dick

>>10946686

who are these peen queens?

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>>10948487
Aww okay

>>10948487
links to porn aren't against the rules idiot

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>>10948482

You people accuse me of not having sex and then you have stupid posts like these. Well let me enlighten you since you haven't stepped foot in a bedroom: You'd have to be a complete virgin/incompetent to think the penis is solely for penetrating. Heck, you probably think sex is just in and out and in and out. You must be boring as fuck in bed. A good man learns how to stimulate his woman in a way that involves the clitoris whilst keeping a steady and hard fuck. Of course, this option isn't available if you have a pencil dick, but my girth is 6.5" so perhaps my realm of capability is bigger than yours. Or if you're a woman, certainly bigger than those twigs you've dated.

There are several good positions that I have used to make a woman orgasm, and they are effective too, you're a fucking idiot if you think you need a stupid toy.

And no, I don't pay attention to the pornography posted here by desperate dicklets like those ITT. That's why I have my gf. Besides, porn teaches people to be cuckolds because they are basically sitting pathetically in their chair watching two people have sex.

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>>10948483

>he still doesn't understand that a sex toy is just an accessory to spice things up, not a supplement for dick
>he's at least a good sport and continues to sperg out for our amusement

i found your v-card, anon. it's still in your pocket.

pls have sex.

>>10946686
Fucking mods

Jesus christ, these girls look like they're 13. Remove this shit

>>10948510

>he still doesn't understand that a sex toy is just an accessory to spice things up, not a supplement for dick

But this is exactly what I said earlier, and that's a bullshit reason. "Spice up the bedroom" translates to "my girlfriend doesn't find me exciting enough and pleasurable enough in the bedroom so maybe this will help stimulate by dead piece of shit sex life"

Lmao bro just know you'll be remembered as *that* weird loser once she gets with a real man who can actually fuck her good.

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>>10947372
>>10947438
>>10948199
>>10948274
>>10948286
>>10948356
>>10948450
>>10948456
>>10948457
>>10948483
>>10948504
>>10948518

>Moooooooooooods i'm getting BTFO please delete this thread

hahahahah dude you are truly the asperger king. i know no one on earth is actually this spergy and you're trolling, but this is really making my night.

also pls have sex.

anyone wanna send money to my paypal

>>10948510

>Your gf: "Hey anon I was thinking we might want to spice up our sex life :)"
>You: "Ok honey it's sorely needed h-hehe"
>Your gf: "I met this guy named Jamal today at work, what do you think about a threesome? I read online it helps spice up things"
>You: "U-um ok b-but let it b-b-b-b-b-b-bbb-e a one time th-thing ok"
>Your gf: "Thank you anon you're so great at spicing up our relationship with new things :)"
>Week later after you get cucked in front of you
>You: "W-where is my g-gf I did everything for her"
>Your gf: *hopping on Jamal's cock*

This is you right now.

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>>10946686
you use one of these on your girlfriend's clit???

haha bro what the fuck

>>10948519
dude have you ever had sex? answer honestly

>>10948518

>these girls look like they're 13
>look like

>>10948537

I've been honest up until now, faggot, do you honestly think you're above some shit? Like, floating above the ground over my experience because you resorted to pathetic sex toys? Because that's what you're implying

Go buy some anal beads bro, spice up that shit right?

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>>10948533

>all this projecting

You might need to cool it on the porn for a bit.

>>10948537

Honestly go buy her one of these:

>>10948534

Go get her a rainbow colored one faggot with a Hello Kitty print on it too

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>>10948551

oh god bros, someone needs to take over for me. my sides have officially left my body and i'm laughing too hard to type.

pls have sex, anon.

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>>10948199
>>10948274
>>10948286
>>10948356
>>10948450
>>10948456
>>10948457
>>10948483
>>10948504
>>10948518
>>10948519
>>10948533
>>10948551

Bro pls just have sex

>>10948528
DELETE THIS

what a fucking time to be alive

>>10948574

I'm not the one who posted that black whore, and don't worry, I'm aware sex to you is something lame as fuck and that's why you think I'm glorifying the act, because you can't perform well enough to please a woman. Heck, you probably even are the kind who finger them to orgasm. Guess what? She can finger herself to orgasm too

I honestly now feel bad for the women I've been with, chances are they won't ever be satisfied by average/below average performers like yourselves ever again, contrary to my hours long of fucking.

You're probably the kind of moron who uses "sex" in jokes like "doesn't matter, had sex xD". Jokers like you get left, and no amount of spongebob dildos will save you

>>10947316
>I'm a real manly man who does all of the sex
>look how manly I am
>guys
>guys you aren't looking, I am being so manly
>guys so what if I have never actually had sex, I'm still a manly man and not some pussy progressive intellectual
>guys why are you laughing?
>g-guys?

>>10948533
>he fell for the cuck meme
>he actually thinks that this is a normal occurrence and not just some small niche in the porn industry

It's probably time to cut yourself off from /r9k/

>>10946686
Fuck you. Fuck valentines day. Fuck all of you. That is all.

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>>10948649

>women i've been with

Dude give it up, no one believes you. You're projecting too hard

pls just have sex

>>10948687

You're an idiot if you think the internet hasn't already spilled onto real life. It's like saying height doesn't matter, being a manlet in denial like that. Likewise, you are a cuck in denial, because you are probably getting cheated on right now

Do you honestly think women get off from some skinnydick fucking them desperately with a shitty toy? Are you fucking serious right now? How can a woman ever see you in the light of a true man when you need a fucking toy to get her off? No, what's going to happen is she will see you as weak and she will leave you for a better man, like me

>>10948708

You say it as though your inferior way of thought has any effect on my reality. I'd have no reason to gesture on if what you say is the case, but it's clearly not

What is happening here is my performance is miles above yours, so much that you can't perceive it in your mind, it's impossible to you because you're just a 4" dicklet who orgasms in a minute

Projecting you say? I don't see how I'm projecting when I'm clearly against sex toys and you are for them (because you need them)

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>>10948711

>he thinks toys are a need, not just an added source of pleasure

have sex pls

>>10948726

Pic very much related, it's how your girlfriends friends look like when she tells them about your little dick and how you so desperately waggled your finger in her because you came so early

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>>10948721
>>10948731

>he still doesn't get it

have you ever had sex before, anon?

pls have sex

>>10948649
>>10948533
>>10948504
>>10948456
>>10948199
>>10947316

>not sure if bored and trolling or just massively autistic virgin

Whichever it is, please have sex.

>>10948760

How about you be honest? I already said too much about myself and all you're doing is trying to invalidate what I say

You'll be spending this Valentines Day munching pizza and watching Game of Thrones Season 3 on marathon won't you?

>>10948775
nah m8 we'll be having sex with our girlfriends while you still try to convince us that we're being cucked.

Speaking of sex, you should try it

>>10948274

You claim you're not obsessed, yet you're on 4chan's fashion board saying people are being "cucked" by sex toys.

..as for not using this "insult" often, you must've written it over 20 times in this thread alone, so yes, I'd say you've got some sort of hang up on the thought of someone else's partner being fucked. To use your own terms, you're second-hand "cucking" yourself.

In what fucking way would it render someone's partner useless? "Put that penis away Anon and give me my dildo!"?

The way you're talking about sex and even relationships in general really makes me question wether you've ever had a partner, on top of obviously not being sexually active.

For example, the fact that you seem to think women in relationships don't masturbate.

>There are several good positions that I have used to make a woman orgasm

Hahaha, oh wow, this is gold. This is just not how sex works, it's not a game where you button mash the right places until you get a FATALITY and win.

>>10948775

you don't sound like you've ever had sex before desu senpai

>>10948804

But I have, and I have described how it has been, so what's your point?

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>>10948775

Good guess. Walking dead. we'll probably have sex too if we're in the mood. if you weren't a virgin you'd know that sex isn't some big event that needs to happen all the time. Except it may be for you since you've clearly never had it.

pls have sex, anon

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>>10948799

Of course it's not a button mashing game you fat fucking virgin, nobody has implied that at any point

You fucking dicklets are pissing me off with all these (you)s, you're the butthurt ones who won't shut up because I obviously BTFO you for being toy-using pussies

>>10948807

Point being what you've described makes it painfully obvious you're lying? Not even the "performance"-part, because having sex in the evening and then - fasten your seatbelts - having sex AGAIN the day after!!! is actually a pretty common occurrence and not very impressive.

>>10948815

>not very impressive

I bet you don't even last an hour and that's why you're so butthurt about my claim

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>>10948813

maaaaaaaan if being an autistic virgin was effay you'd be dick ovens himself

have sex pls

>>10948813

I broke up with my partner of 5 years a month ago ya dunce, have slept with a lot of people since. The partner I had before this one owned a vibrator, but here's the shocker - we didn't use it while having sex, she used it while masturbating. Not saying we never tried it, but it got too intense and she'd come too fast. Jesus fucking christ dude.

>>10946771
Yeah?

>>10948836

Not your fault pham, he won't understand until he loses that v-card.

>>10948836
>>10948874

Think of it like this, dicklets, if your gf is masturbating while you are around and available to fuck her, be it in a few hours or after work, chances are she's not fucking thinking of you, she's thinking of a bigger, real man, fucking her raw, not some skinny white boy who literally practices his finger wagging dildo-shoving technique when he's by himself

That should make perfect logical sense, even to dense fucking limpdicks like yourself. Oh? What's that? You're now telling me it's OK if she thinks of other men while you "fuck" her? Well guess what, she will only ever remember you as *that* minute man. That is all you will ever be, that "sex xD" loser

And you haven't even posted your dick size even though I have, clearly you are a smaller man. It's ok guy, well not really, it's not going to be OK for you, you will never keep a woman. They have their dildo, why do they need you right? Oh that's right, you're her fucking wallet you wholesome sack of shit

>>10948831

Here you go again, trying to impress. An hour ain't shit, in fact, I'd love to be able to get off within an hour, because shit gets tedious.

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>>10948887

>guise pls make up your dick size on the internet like i did

anon, you are by far the most entertaining sperglord i've encountered here in awhile

pls have sex

>>10948887

You've got some serious insecurity issues and I suggest you work on that, if you ever want to have a functional love/sex life. Seriously, none of your insults get to me or the other people in this thread, because they're just your own fears and confidence issues projected wildly.

I just told you I've left a relationship that lasted 5 years, do you really think going for my ability to "keep" a partner would work? It doesn't make sense.

5 years ago you were, what, 11-13 years old?

are you seriously challenging me to a cock fight
jesus christ
why'd you even do that when you've said yourself you've got an average sized dick?

>>10948921
>>10948938

Post your fucking dick size you fucking faggot. Just post your fucking dick size so that I can know that by the end of this I'm still bigger than you

Fucking dicklets

>>10948953
>please, please validate that I've got an above average penis
>it's all I've got left

>>10948953

Have soms fucking dignity, dude. Salvage what you can after this trainwreck of a thread and be glad you're anonymous.

I haven't even got measuring tape, so I can't measure my girth even if I wanted to - which I don't, because I'm not a child.

seriously dude, take a break from the internet and work on your issues.

>>10948978

"mammo" means suck in Spanish, go mammo a bigger man to get him read for your girlfriend you piece of shit

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>>10948953

listen to

>>10948978

and pls have sex

>>10948983

>faggot
>cuck cuck cuck cuck jamal cuck
>bigger man
>manlets

seriously what happened to you, where did this strange fixation come from? did ya get scared by a big horse as a child or something?

A бaмпep тo чтo нaдa

>>10949041
Wut?

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I just woke up and went to see if the thread was still alive.

>mfw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVj0ZTS4WF4

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>>10949631
I genuinely love this song, its fun af

also the level of shitposting in this thread is next level. Overcompensating and lying about your sex life isn't /fa/ at all, neither is projecting :-)

just b happy with yourself or at least with your relationships

whats wrong with u guys? obviously getting trolled. get off 4chan normie scum.

>>10949662

I come here for these kind of quality threads.

>>10949631

nice meme

>>10948887
I'm 8x7, you?

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>>10948457
This is my gf.

I mean, just look at the filename which clearly proves that I took the picture with my phone!

>>10949740
just because you're a virgin doesn't mean everyone else on this board is as pathetic as you are

>>10949740
Nice, man!

What's her name?

>>10949751
Thanks bruh!

Her name's Jodie, she's really sweet and caring. I was thinking of buying her some anal beads or a huge butt plug for Valentine's. You know, to spice things up a bit.

>>10949750
>just because you're a virgin

Did I not just fucking prove I have a gf?!?!?!

GO TO HELL LOSER!

>>10949750
Fucken lay off him dude, you're just jealous you don't have a hot beach bitch like him

>>10949762
lmao virgin loser fuck off

>>10949647

I know. I actually play it in my car.

Most people on here are teenage virgins, so you really can't blame them.