Good or bad any feel is welcome
>give people impression of self confidence
>genuinely witty and funny in social situations
>have lots of people interested in me
>been told my advice and perspective on things has helped someone through some hard shit
In private, I constantly feel like shit. Its so bad sometimes I actually start hyperventilating. I wish I could narrow it down to something but its always everything at once.
so yea right now i am going through the most insanely crippling state of depression which is hanging off of what i only assume is depersonalization on a level so intense it's fucking with my entire perspective of why i'm even alive and why i haven't already killed myself. honestly in between trying to look as good as bad as i feel i just want to talk to someone who wants to talk for the sake of talking. nothing more.
captcha of grass, which was greener
>i fell for the manlet meme so hard i am willing to pay doctors $85k to break my legs for nine months
it's already known to work successfully but youre still paying an extortionate amount of money for cosmetic surgery you dont need because you spent too much time on 4chan, not to mention that it places you in agonising pain for weeks and will most likely cause arthritis later on in life
i used to feel this feel so hard senpai, really the only way through it is just kind of forcing an epiphany.
realize that if everyone sees you for greater than you see yourself, theres no real reason for you to deem yourself as lesser, and its irrational, not that you meed to base your self worth on the judgement of others but this is a good starting point
I want to be able to wear high tops without looking like shit, I want to buy pants without them getting them to a tailor. What women think or 4chan to a lesser extent is irrelevant to me, but the fact that clothes were made for average height
>tfw short w/ athletic build
I hate this, lads. I just want to be tall and thin.
>the fact that clothes were made for average height
you literally ARE the average height you fucktard
im 4 inches shorter than you and i hardly ever have these problems
not joking when i say this you literally need to stop using 4chan until you stop being so insecure
Supposed to be studying for my exam tomorrow but just sitting in front of the fireplace vegging because I just broke with the GF of 2-1/2 years. I'm pretty convinced she has BPD due to years of parental abuse, and looking back over the past few years of abusive behaviors towards me and whatnot it all makes a lot more sense now.
Kinda started to realize I needed to split when I started dissociating and doubting my realities, when in fact she was just projecting warped perceptions onto me if ya feel. I can move on, I know I'll have no trouble finding someone else. I hate to say it though, but I'm still worried sick about her and probably will still love her for a long time.
And the question of,
Why couldn't I save her?
im so pathetic that i obsess for days over what im going to wear on my 30 minute trip to the grocery store. its pretty much the only time i go anywhere. its my only chance to wear sick fits and impress ppl.
>Need to stay slim and toned to have good proportions when in pictures
>tfw I have to buy full priced small sized clothing and can't cop pieces I like when they're on sale when they're not in my size.
I wish I could get the LL surgery to gain 3 more inches but there's no way I could dedicate the time and money for it. I just really like clothes
>tfw dads mexican with spanish heritage and both grandparents are light skinned + non shit eye color
>tfw mom is mixed with german and shit tier south american indian genes
>tfw dark skinned, ugly, big nosed and big ears.
Seriously? why do white genes have to be preeminent to every other race?
>Post in the Cop or Not, someone google image searched what a posted and coped it, they then posted "Thanks for the cop"
It was smoke damaged so looked pretty dope.
Seller cut the price in half because of it. 30$
>tfw no reason to get my /fa/ on because I'm either working or sitting in the house watching boxsets with the wife.
>tfw friends all have different days off so cant even go to the pub.
>tfw 5k worth of clothes in my cupboard and no where to go.
>tfw wearing 300 quid outfits to asda.
Staying up late at night
>no redeeming features
>endless sobbing crying
>I want to end it
>don't really know how
I'd rather go out in a way those who haven't give up on me yet can say goodbye properly instead of scraping my remains of the train/road. Perhaps the way Heath Ledger went.
I'm turning 23 in a couple of months and I still haven't achieved anything. Don't have a job to repay my debts, don't have a great personality making up for the fact that I'm a poor slob. I just don't see the tide turn anytime soon and I've dragged down the people around me far enough
>Have a circle of good friends
>Hate my job but hey, I got one (fun coworkers)
>Renovating my wardrobe is fun, taking it one fit at a time
>Still in touch with my family; complement me on my new style
>Being more open on jew medias
>Own room since moving out of parents house, fun to work on it
>Bought a fake supreme once (didn't get a refund)
>Wish my hair would grow faster
>Wear a beanie almost religiously
>Probably a 5/10
>always spending money (not just clothes)
I try this, I really do. A few years back I made a promise to myself that I'm allowed to feel bad but i'm never allowed to give in to it.
One of the hardest things though is that I can't talk to people I know about this shit. My family has had a chronic case of bad luck for the last 15 years and i'm treated as the keystone keeping everyone together. It'd destroy them if I turn around and just unleash this crap.
I did speak to a friend about this but despite just listening to me, he pretended afterwards like I didn't fucking tell him anything. It was just kind of forgotten.
>tfw bored of a 3 year relationship w/ a girl that loves me more than anything and buys me jawns
>tfw almost 22 and just wanna go out and experience being young but don't want to break her heart
privileged feels but fuck idk what to do
>Parents Pay for schooling and housing
>Live close to uni and groceries a 3 min walk
>Close friends who care about me
>Discovering my style
>Enjoying fashion more and more and glad I have a creative interest since I've never been good at making art
>solid 7-8/10 5'11" 140
>Got into a show that ended up one of the most popular plays put on this year
>constantly feel inadequate as a person
>Smoke and having a hard time quitting
>Not doing well in Stats
>Drink way too much because friends give me alcohol
>Still a total sperg in most social situations
>Easily distracted from schoolwork
Life is pretty good, just need to get off my ass and do shit.
The emptiness you're trying to fill all the sex with all the girls in the world won't fill that gap. Only someone who actually cares about you can. I wouldn't do it but hey I'm just another anon :^)
Recommend seeing a psychiatrist desu. Maybe anti anxiety meds are the way to go, both my siblings had pretty serious mental health issues (bipolar, and depression respectively) and they are both doing great now.
You do really need someone you can open up to tho, you can't bear the weight of this on your own I was exactly the same as you last year, I failed all my uni papers and hide in my room all day while pretending I was ok to my friends. Eventually I opened up to a friend and then my Mum and honestly it's the support of others and just basic human contact that gets you through these rough patches.
Keep your head up anon and remember you don't have to have your entire life planned out. Take things as they come and try to keep things in perspective.
Also Tfw you had to fucking drop out of uni like a tard
don't cheat. if there is another girl you love more out there and if your girl is ugly or has some serious problems, break up or something. >>10920766 >>10920775 he's right
honestly bro, one of the reasons i'm tired of my relationship is because of the way she acts sometimes since she's been cheated on before by literally every one of her boyfriends.
i've been bsing with girls online but not like getting nudes or anything but its still not cool and she'd lose it if she found out..
but regardless. depending on how she is u might break her personality bro. i rly wouldnt cheat on her for real.
Thanks dude. I feel for you on having to drop out of uni. I wanted to so much but I was still doing okay despite everything and I didn't want anyone knowing what was up. Out on uni now and in an okay job so theres that.
I think I will take the plunge on a psychiatrist though. I actually picked up a business card for one I met a while back.
yours. man up.
if she's been cheated on by every one of her boyfriends, you should take pride in being the first one not to cheat. you'd still remain in her memory as the best boyfriend she had if you break up nicely.
you're right and thats why i feel terrible about it. but im just not having fun anymore. she came over yesterday and was literally all over me and i just laid there and watched tv. maybe im just super lethargic but i dont know. i dont want to be single at 27 and be like "shit i wish i was 22 and still alright looking"
the repercussions are deeper than you realize brother. at least in my case. she gets really jealous and paranoid. if i even like, jokingly mention having sex with other girls, she'll break down crying. its difficult man.
I got a new bike today. riding helped me avoid a depressive episode that I could feel coming on yesterday. so I feel alright
tfw social anxiety tfw adhd tfw depression
tfw u want to go to school but the pressure and inability to get anything done drives you away
currently at home for over half a year with minimal social interaction with anyone
At least I can fill the void in my soul by spending money on clothes right guys
ask her what do you think about our future or something fuck man idk tell her what you think man... not the "i wanna fck bitches" but just that "i'm not sure if you can keep your 1st relationship for that long," part. not in a breaking up way... yet i guess
>me and a friend from uni have had our eyes in each other for months now
>finally hook up on Monday
>lie in bed for hours chatting and cuddling
>realise how much I actually like this girl and how good we'd be together
>pretty sure she only wants to be friends with benefits
>I'm incapable of having sex without catching feelings
feelio when academia is dead and university is now just a process to get people jobs rather than a place of learning
>have a nice flat in downtown
>go to the best private uni in the state
>good loks and body
>moved away from my hometown due to college
>broke up with my cool gf because of the distance
>only girls that are interested in me are in my hometown
Basically feel like shit because I know very few people in this new city,hope it changes
alright /fa/ i have been single all of my life now and up till now i've been just fine not being in a relationship but nowadays i have a lingering feeling of wanting to get a gal just so i know what it feels like being in a relationship
i always have a crush on this girl but she's showing me mixed signals and it's been a while since i talked to her,now i'm getting more desperate and starting to spill some of my spaghetti
should i stay with the status quo,or should i make a move?
>spent shitloads on clothing
>have literally no friends
>never go out because theres no one to invite me
>im so fucking insecure i spend money to provide a good impression to literally no one
>developed my own personal style
>dont flex on niggas anymore
>genuinely interested in people now
Once you develop your own taste, you dont gotta deal with these insecure highschoolers. Plus /fa/ is soooo garbage now nobody with any steez lurks anymore
Being in your early 20s is far more stressful than you think it will be when you are a kid. Just relax, find a job, slowly figure things out, etc.
In a few years you'll look back and this will all seem silly
I'm so lonely /fa/ I have no friends and all I do is facetime with this one girl who doesn't even talk to me when I see her in real life and cucks me all the time. Feel like I will never have a connection with another human being.
wish I could still be this delusional
>see an adidas piece i really like
>about to cop but then realise how much adidas i own
>suck dick at school, friends do not
>they enroll on a science programm at one school, i go to an electrician programm at another school where there you're preparing for work after school
>change to social studies at their school
>get to see them and hang out with them for two years
>gonna have to spend a whole year with people I dont really like, ride the buss seeing the same scenery i've seen for years, go through the winter once again while they're out there living
Also they've all got gfs. So is falling behind in life a /fa/ feeling?
>tfw developed social anxiety out of no where
>tfw SA is gone when i'm at parties (idk why just feel more comfortable)
>tfw hanging out less and less with your party friends
>tfw no longer get invited to parties
i'm a shell of my former self and want to die
tfw its one of those times when u check the mirror and love the way you look
regular anxiety means i get panic attacks any time i take recreational. unless u mean prescribed? which i kinda think is a scam anyway. i'm doing lots of exercise, it's reduced my reg anxiety , i'm hoping it will do the same to my SA
>start lurking /fa/ early last year and find examples of how I want to dress and present myself
>tfw poor and wardrobe is still in awkward transition of decent stuff I've been slowly buying and shitty stuff I wore in high school