are there any non-slip shoes that aren't awfully ugly?
>not wanting to be effay 24/7 even when sleeping
Depends on your tastes. Red Wing makes some decent-looking non-slip boots. Personally, I think my Super Birkis look fine.
You could also have a cobbler slap a pair of Vibram Newporter soles on a pair of flat-soled shoes.
They have a ton of different designs.