ive been involved in (irl) communities and stuff. Meet countless people. Endless friendly acquaintances, but never friends. Of the few friends i do pull, none last more than 5 years before we just never talk, and ive never had a close friend the way i see some people have where each person is super important to each other and theyre really close.
i dont often think about it because i dont know what im missing really, but since i lost my job over the summer and my wife is at work all day, i havent been around all the friendly acquaintances that kept me from realizing how alone i am.
>>10815378 anyways my tip is just to go out i guess to social places even if you don't have friends just go talk to the person behind the counter or talk to your parents just talk don't be picky don't waste your youth
>>10815380 actually that's not exactly right either because when i was doing that i was pulling people that just used me etc. the point is to know yourself and find people who you enjoy being around, and most importantly who love being around you. and learn and grow as a person i guess like if there's something you do to make people hate you that can be discarded, let it go
>>10815407 yeah get a boring haircut that will make you look like every other person on earth who knows nothing about fashion great idea >b-b-but muh masculinity if you are that insecure about your manhood then you might aswell not be on this board, because you will never be fashionable
yeah, get an 'interesting' haircut that makes you look like an edgy 14 year old girl who has daddy issues and listens to shit music like every other edgy faggot in the world who gets bullied for good reason
great idea >b-b-but muh originality if you are that insecure about yourself then you might as well not be on this planet because you will never be functional
>>10815435 not saying theres nothing wrong with that haircut, im saying that your an idiot for thinking there is anything wrong with going to a salon to get a haircut you want that isnt masculine or functional since when the fuck has fashion ever been about function, if you want function then you might aswell go buy walmart clothes and save your money, but dont come and post about it on this board because it isnt and never will be fashionable
>>10815449 >never be fashionable Daniel Craig is literally one of the world's biggest fashion icons and the fictional character of James Bond is probably THE most fashionable and stylish man of all time.
>>10815514 barbers cater exclusively to men you fucking tard, the only reason i go to a salon is because they do a better job than any of the barbers around my place, you literally could not get anymore insecure about having to portray to everyone that you are a man, no one gives a fuck where you get your hair cut anyway
>>10815438 dude, i go to a chain barbershop in a town with a population of 100k in finland and that shit costs 30 euros. and it's not a salon either, everything is just really expensive here. the only way to get a haircut here for under 20 euros is to have friend do it for you.
>live in a small uninteresting town >dont have a lot of money >lost both my gf and best friend this summer >all my friends are un/fa/ and boring >they only drink and do drugs >i only hang out with them so im not alone all the time
>NEET >friend keeps messaging me on phone and facebook >don't want to respond because he has his shit together and i literally have no clue what to do with my life >have to read messages he posts in a whatsapp group we are both in >"what happened to anon, i tried to reach him and he's not responding on any channels" >"maybe he's dead"
>>10816268 Just tell them. They obv care about you. Just tell them that even though you're happy for them and their success, you kind feel likenshit because you're not really where tou want to be in life.
>>10816223 Hahaha this is actually me wtf, I've made some new friends but they're all kinda lame and have a way different style(if any style at all) than me. They're fun to hang with but I can help but think there's way better people I could be spending my time with
>4 friends that always wanna play games and do nothing else >2 of them trying to be /fa/ but not trying hard enough >Don't wanna hang out with them that often because they get boring >Best friend is in school and we're slowly drifting away from each other >Have an older group of friends that only wanna drink and get high
I hang out with them once in a while but it doesn't feel so good in the end.
>be 16 yr old me best friend meets Russian immigrant gf slowly lose contact cause she is possessive >become NEET >be 18 yr old me chasing girl >ends up going out with one of my only friends >ok.jpg >2 yrs later things start getting sour girl is always hanging with me >breaks up with her cause suspects her cheating >Spill spaghetti admitting my love >Friendzoned >previous friend now hates me >Become NEET for 4 years >be 22 yr old me >grow a pair of balls start trying to meet grills again >date 3.14 cutie, she knows me better than I know myself, happiest I've ever been in my life > She's been living 6 months at my place we spend all of our free time together >Lose Job >Breaks up with me >Spiral of depression >Meet old Oneitis from 5 years ago >She's gotten fat >Only friend I have
>>10817790 I'm actually in a very similar situation. My good friends from "back in the day" are now in their fucking late 20s and still doing the "game all day" thing.
The guys have not changed in the last 10 years at ALL. Most are still living with their parents, drinking a lot, getting obsessive over video games, and just not improving their life situation beyond what they did in highschool. I've offered to pay for them to take certification tests to get into IT work in their area - they don't even bother fucking studying and complain I didn't help them make a study schedule for them. Some have girlfriends who just sit in their room and futz around on video games with them, very little sex. A few live in literal fucking shacks or tents just so they can spend more money on video games. None have any solid job prospects (or, in most cases, a job at all), and every single one of them has given me shit for not spending 5+ hours playing goddamn MMOs with them. I can't stand doing that, even though I sometimes have the time on weekends - it's goddamn boring.
I'm now in this weird position where they think I'm gonna be hanging out with them like this for another 10 years, but they also expect me to bail them out when they do dumb shit like get a bunch of credit card debt. It's real weird to be buddies with someone who owes you two grand but who just blew a bunch of money on goddamn anime figurines.
>>10818676 Holy fuck Bateman, this is exactly the path I a large group of my old friends(in the town where I grew up) are heading off in. Down to the complete stagnancy since highschool and the lack of effort towards anything.
Do you have any advice for someone that doesn't want his friends to fuck it up like that. I mean, I'm not affected by it in any material or social way, but I'd like to see the people I grew up with succeed at not ruining their life somewhere down the line. I do care about them.
>>10818860 >Do you have any advice for someone that doesn't want his friends to fuck it up like that. I mean, I'm not affected by it in any material or social way, but I'd like to see the people I grew up with succeed at not ruining their life somewhere down the line. I do care about them. I'm gonna be honest here and say that I have no good answers.
I've tried a lot of shit that didn't work. You can't domineer over them and make them do stuff because they'll resent you, halfass it, and eventually quit. You can't try to encourage them with the idea of money/girls/etc. because instantaneous gratification is going to trump that. You can't get parents involved because they're mostly to blame in the first place. The only time it DID work was when I just did everything for them - I literally did every bit of schoolwork for a while just to keep their GPA afloat enough for highschool graduation.
Don't get me wrong, if your friends are like mine, they're gonna talk a big game and promise a lot. The effort is just not gonna be there. I've bought people shit to kickstart them in various ways, it's never done anything but languish after one or two days of feigned effort.
Not trying to be flippant about it, I promise. I've been in a bad mood about this shit all week. I hung out with my old buddies for NYE and realized how fucked the situation is with their lives and how big the difference is now. It's fucked that some of these guys literally have $12 to their name and their game plan for survival is waiting on goddamn unemployment from their shitty summer temp jobs.
The correct answer for us is to distance ourselves, the problem is that in my case I'd lose all my close friends. I'm hoping that's not the case for you.
>>10819005 Damn. Thing is, my inner circle of friends is actually in the same boat as I am, they're actively working on their lives but feel a little lost.
It's the folks that fall just outside of that radius that seem to be unable to keep anything going for longer than two weeks of slacking and weak-willed attempts. Sometimes it feels like the only thing that separates me from them is that I've decided to move to another city, because the atmosphere seemed too unhealthy.
It's just disappointing to see loved ones waste their potential and their opportunities in favour of the short-term stuff.
Man, I wish you good luck. You're one of the few trips that's worth keeping around.
>>10819005 Unrelated but do you mind me asking what you do for a living? You said you've helped people out financially and stuff. I'm 18 years old and graduating from high school in May and I'm terrified about going to college and not being able to find the right major or not making friends because I don't trust people for the same reason you and the other anon are talking about. I feel like nobody that I'm around has any real goals and I'm starting to fall into that same path. I don't put effort into things like I should, I'm always disappointed in myself, and I hate that about myself.
Go to a really good college and things will begin to fall into place. Trust me, there's no hard requirement that you know what you want to do now, but you should prioritize moving upward and opening doors. The whole point of Freshman curricula is to expose you to things you might be interested in studying and then subsequently pursuing as a career.
>>10818676 It's mostly one friend who just wants to play video games exclusively, and sorta trying to be more /fa/, the other two just wanna play games when we hang out but they're always out an about and it annoys me that they never wanna go out and just chill with me. And I just wanna get them to get out more instead of playing games every time but it isn't working as much.
I don't mind keeping the friends and helping them through shit. Like I want them to change their ways instead of just playing games, but making new friends is kinda difficult for me. I can socialize perfectly fine except I can never initiate the conversation.
>>10819170 I go to oregon state university, a mediocre state school. What can I do to ensure my success? I am a freshman studying business and math and I have a really good relationship with my business teacher who is a dope lady that's been in business forever and has ton of connections. I don't really know what to do though.
I know it's hella random but I'm in an introspective mood thanks to kanye.
>>10819259 Ah, I gotcha. Maybe pull them to some sort of event or something? I've had success getting some of my more normal friends to join a social club I'm a member of, you might be able to do something equivalent.
1) Oregon State isn't mediocre. No school is as long as you push yourself. The only real exception are fake schools like DeVry. People on here trying to show off the name of their school are usually 17 year olds holding acceptance letters, nothing more.
2) Math is a solid major, Business maybe slightly less so, but the combination is solid if you want to go work as a quant or something. Don't obsess over that too much, particularly if you are talented at both - you should be studying what you're good at.
3) What you SHOULD do is load up on solid/useful extracurriculars. Get involved with local startups - there are bound to be some, and it's good business experience. Go grab a bunch of other students and start an investments club. Go do at least one thing athletic, both for your health and to show you're well-rounded.
You're a lot more on the right path than you think, but I understand the concern.
>>10819847 We're talking stuff like the CompTIA tests, MSCEs, and the CSCS. Not too expensive or fancy.
>>10820302 go to things that relate to your hobbies/interests and just try to get to know people there. i finish college soon and head off to uni and honestly i'm so close with my group of friends atm that i don't think i've made a genuine new friend in well over 5 years, i've no idea how to become friends with new people anymore
Friendships are comprised of two things it can be both:
A mutual perspective, outlook, or taste -- an all encompassing vibe.
A mutual situation, lifestyle, or social ecosystem.
But boy oh boy do I have news for you, you happen to be a few introductions away from people that very likely have a similar lifestyle and very OBVIOUSLY have similar tastes and outlooks as you.
Seriously guys, mods aren't going to burn to at the stake for dropping a tinychat url in every once in a while if you'd like to talk in real time... So long as you aren't flooding the board with impertinent shit. In fact setting up rooms is preferable to this.
>>10817839 >>10817299 I tip my barber mainly because we're a small town and it's 3 generations and they don't get a lot of revenue. They're really good and I feel like since they're not exactly packed all the time and exist in a farther out part of region of town I like to just give them a small tip the off-times I go there.
>>10820533 I'm still trying to figure and expand what my hobbies and interest are but other than that its mainly gaymes -.-
>>10822613 >yfw when you feel the f.o.m.o. (fear of missing out)
>fucking senior yr, pls tell me it gets better in college In same boat as you, just finished H.S., waiting for my offers in uni some people say it gets better, some people say it'll be the same as high school cos most people from uni/college still have that high school mentality going on, some people went to uni during their course not making friends and are struggling to make or contact friends
Whatever, I love loneliness as much as much as many of us do, if anything it's more comforting than having people, but you should always push yourself to have companionship, it's as healthy as water and foot, it keeps you sane.
>tfw only friend is all the way in butt fuck Boston >still shaking off effects of amphetamine induced psychosis from three years prior >lost 5 pounds in the last week from taking antibiotics for Lyme disease >ankles popping like Snapple caps and the right side of my face has finally stopped sagging like rap people's pants from the Bell's palsy >get hospitalized for panic attack related to antibiotics, psychiatrist tells me to look for another doctor who would prescribe medication for anxiety because he doesn't want to >first day of physical therapy tomorrow
And there are people on this board who are going through things ten times worse than what I'm going through. Don't relish and romanticize your self perceived aloofness and distant from people. That shit isn't attractive. You always have the choice to make a positive change in your life. The shittier it feels to do the right thing and be a decent person, the happier you'll be if you keep doing it. If some of you faggots love broken people so much, learn to love yourselves. And none of that vain attribute worship shit. Fuck.
>struggling to connect with people on any meaningful level >consider suicide from time to time >only reason i don't really go through it is because of how much of hassle it will be for my parents to clean up after my shit >at times think that they won't really give a fuck either
>>10822954 >>10822613 It gets better. Probably depends a lot on which university you go to, but even where I go (small public uni filled with highschool-minded people) with a little willpower and effort it got a LOT better for me.
>>10813737 >tfw you start to dress well to impress people >tfw it doesn't automatically casted gf into your bed and friends into your living room >tfw you began to dress just for the sake of it blowing all the money into something which didn't really improved your life
>>10828546 >Thought being alone is a bless since I can watch my movies and read >Became depressed after an half a year >Now I just lie around and do nothing most of the time or sleep I don't even know how to start enjoy things again.
>>10829160 I was kind of like you at one point, clothes make the man and all. But I realized pretty quickly that you should only really focus on dressing nicely for yourself. Girls want to fuck your personality, not your clothes.
>girls like me >have a couple friends >do drugs >getting into skydiving in the summer >just got my motorcycle license so buying a bike too >still depressed as shit >slowly losing the will to live >doing all these things in hope that I find something worth living for
I know it probably won't work, I always do this, first it was when I spent 3k on a gaming pc then 3k on guitar gear. I'm never happy, fuck I want to kill myself.
>>10835182 i live off thrifting and will probably buy something new for myself every 3 or so months so per month, id say around $18 ? Depends where I go, what they have As for the compliments, literally every time i have class or hangout with friends I havent seen in awhile I get complimented
still sad tho
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