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/diy/nosaurs, I'm looking for an indoor house plant that

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Thread replies: 44
Thread images: 9

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/diy/nosaurs, I'm looking for an indoor house plant that is very hardy and quick to use liquid. I play a lot of online poker and keep knocking my Gatorade bottles over during long sessions. I cant just get up to piss. I've got to keep playing or lose my stack. I'm looking for a plant I can set next to my battlestation and use as a urinal. It does not need to handle excrement. Only urine. "Piss plant" in google only brings up batshit crazy claim for a hybrid coleus that's suppose to repel cats/ dogs from gardens. I need an indoor human urine variety.

tl:dr: I'm looking for a natural, indoor DIY urinal.
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>>930310
... how about you just put the lid on your piss bottles you filthy fucking animal?

Even if you get a plant or plants to use up the liquid, theyll quickly die off from the soil getting to hot and too salty.

There's a surprising amount of nitrogen and salt in your piss and that will build up to intolerable levels rapidly in a small plant pot.

P.s. you're fucking disgusting.
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How about instead of a plant you have a tube which pumps your urine to a toilet.
Bonus points for building one which can handle solid waste.
Never leave your desk again.
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OP here.
>>930311
This is not a solution. This is the current problem.

>>930312
A tube to the toilet is great, but I live in a basement. Having to run a hose up steps and around the corner will be problematic. That's why I need a hardy plant. The only real light down here illuminates from my monitor.
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>>930310
Just piss into your mouth. It's recycling!
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>>930325
can't you keep a good sized bucket on the floor
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>>930310
>this is bait
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This is probably bait, but just grasses of any type are very hardy. However, I don't see why you need a plant, just get a large bucket.
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>>930310
Grow a spirulina culture in a baking soda solution in an aquarium or a gallon jug under a grow light. You could do it in a window, but at that point you might as well just pee out the window. The cyannobacteria will grow rapidly on a steady diet of dilute urine and light, and is especially tolerant of salt water.
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I pissed on the same spot every day for 2 years once, ended up killing part of a nearby ash tree.
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>>930310
play on toilet?
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>>930325
Since you live in a basement, you probably have a drain somewhere down there, piss in a tube and pump it there
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>>930310
What about installing a urinal next to your battle station?

Also plants intake water very slowly. Not sure you could have one that would soak up your piss quick enough before it would stink up the place.
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>>930325
>I live in a basement.
No shitting? I'd have never thought the person starting this thread lives in a basement. Well, i hope you figure this out, or your mom's gonna freak out and you'll be living in the shed, and your slimy, fedora adorned, neckbearded friends won't want to come over and get greasy cheetos dust on your cards. Because cold, outside, bugs, and all the other silly shit guys like that complain about even tho they're content being disgusting germ ridden smelly slobs playing cards on a table full of spilling piss bottles with someone that just pisses in bottles right there in their seat.
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>>930325
You literally have no other choice than moving out unless you go to the bathroom once in a while.
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>>930327
that'll be disgusting, I don't like the smell or the taste of piss, is not an option anymore.
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>>930325
If you're in a basement you most likely have access to the house's drain system. Condensation overflows for an HVAC system typically pump a small line to a drain pipe in the basement's ceiling. You could mount a urinal that pumps in this manner.
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Small amounts of diluted urine is good for a plant, but pissing on any plant regularly will kill it. What you can do is fill a bucket with kitty litter and change it every so often, which is fitting. Enjoy your piss litter, you dirty animal.
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Get a remote access app on a phone/tablet so you can use your computer while you're sitting on the toilet?
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Anything that isn't a toilet is going to stink like dry piss after a while.

You need this.
>>
No small plant could absorb a daily supply of urine. A willow tree would be optimal (they're actually how a lot of pre-septic tank people handled their waste leach fields), but I don't think that will get enough light in your basement.
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>>930310
wear diapers or catheters

recommend abena diapers
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>>930310
Can't be that good at online poker if you can't afford adult diapers.
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OP here. SOrry about the delay in replys.

>>930770
I know this line well. Our old one was copper, I replaced it w/ PVC. I'd rented a 2 stroke concrete saw to make the cuts.

Amateur Tip: Dont use gas tools in a basement. I knew fume extraction was going to be important. So I tapped a box to the back of a fan, then ran a large duct pipe thru the glassblock window to a hold in the box, the other end I kept near the tool. Needless to say, it worked but not well enough. Fortunately my Mom was at work and Dad was working at Jiffy Lube so I blamed the smell on his work clothes when she got home.


tl:dr- I'm really needing a plant.
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>>931702
I'm mostly playing SNGs. I multi table 10x-16x in the evenings. Tourneys are the other problem, in later stages, even with a break you cant just get up. Piss bottles spill and I've on occasion mistaken my piss bottle for my dip bottle. Luckily I drink alot of water. I wouldnt even be opposed to using multiple hearty plants. Especially if they where air purifying. Our house isnt old but it's definitely not new. And the basement seems to draw in more dust then the rest of the house. Supposedly basements leech radon. So a plant that can breath radon and turn into oxygen while processing piss would be an added bonus.
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>>931029
The way the VPN has to be setup to play in the States makes using a cell phone next to impossible. If I was near the border this is definitely an option.
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Contact a local university to see if you can get your hands on a sample of urease. Mix it in a bucket with your piss, and it'll catalyze the urea into ammonia. Keep the bucket near your 'fume extraction system' as the ammonia gas escapes, but it should only stink a little bit.
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Way over OP'S disgusting basement dwelling diaper wearing piss smelling head.
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>>933413
>a plant that can breath radon and turn into oxygen
That's not possible senpai. Chemicals, like carbon monoxide can be turned into oxygen, because they already contain the element oxygen, you just have to break the chemical bonds. Radon, on the other hand, is an element, and it cannot be turned into another element solely through chemical means.
Radon decays into other elements on its own btw, however, wikipedia says that those elements are carcinogenic.
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>>933406
>Amateur Tip: Dont use gas tools in a basement.

Should have gotten a plant. The plant would have converted the exhaust from the gas motor into delicious oxygen.
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>>930310
I would imagine some tropical rain forest type could work but the urea might harm the plant in high doses over time and over nitrify the soil or give the plant ammonia burns. The real worry is the smell.

If I were you I would get a 5 gallon orange bucket and just piss in that and dump it in the toilet when you're done. Use "the works" bowl cleaner to clean the bucket.

Way easier.
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>>934736
I just found "good luck" shrub thing. It's Native to Hawaii. Only thing, my source says it needs lots of light. The basement has the opposite of that.
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Plants don't like salt. No matter what you do the salt will continue to increase because it has nowhere to go. Any plant in a sealed container you continue to piss on will die, that's a fact.
>>934287
I think radon itself is not dangerous (it's a noble gas) it is the decaying process that releases radiation and does damage. In theory a plant could capture the radon and store it within itself so it would be less dangerous. This isn't so different from co2, the plant uses the carbon to build itself and releases the oxygen as waste. I doubt any existing plants capture radon but one could probably be genetically engineered.
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Just piss into a bucket
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>>935155
Like you said, Rn is a noble gas.

That by definition means it is very unreactive.
Good luck getting it to react with something and form a solid compound.
Also, it will rapidly decay into polonium, then either lead or astatine, then bismuth and then even more elements before finally becoming lead-206 after decades.

There is absolutely no way you can contain it chemically.

The only thing that's up to the job is a pressurized vessel.
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>>935141
Solution: Make some sort of urine-powered lighting system.
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>>935163
>>935155
AIUI, Radon gathers in basements because it's denser than air, and in the absence of forced-air ventilation it'll fall down into the basement and then can't fall up back out.

So if you want rid of it, just use a vent fan.
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>>930310
If you perfect your plant solution, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation would like to hear from you.

http://www.gatesfoundation.org/What-We-Do/Global-Development/Reinvent-the-Toilet-Challenge
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>>930310
No plant can't take piss like you need it too. To much nitrogen in piss it kills plant fairly fast. I know bc I pissed in a play at my moms for like 3 days and it died lol it was pretty hardy
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look up aquaponics op I think it might be your best bet
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>>935157
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>>930310
I remember peeing on a potted plant because I was too anxious to ask where the bathroom was. Way beyond the age i should have known better too. When did you guys realize you were different?
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>>930310
horticulturist here... You can use piss, but you need to dilute it, 10 parts water 1 part piss. My professor said this.
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>>935178
Actually could use urine as an electrolyte for a battery...
Thread posts: 44
Thread images: 9


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