Drawfags and writtefags welcomed.
TG thread on /aco/
I am pretty sure that there were more of this one.
Does it have a continuation?
Look up [DATE] Residence on sadpanda. There's a number of stories in the same universe. I can't find a direct continuation of that particular story, though.
>That mindbreak/personality death/dress up combo
by the way, what kind of face does the android body have?
Personally, I'm a fan of a blank screen with stylized expressions
TG, no identity death
First full story in ages. I don't know much Spanish so I probably fucked something up somewhere. Let me know what you think, what I can improve, etc.
I've gotten some feedback already, so I'll be going back to make some changes later.
It makes sense if you're writing the full story out before publishing it. Stories on pastebin are usually in rougher condition editing wise. Plus this gives you more leeway to completely edit and change around the story if people don't like where it's going or you come up with something new for the beginning.
>Implying it's not tomboy titty monster.
I don't think you fucked up the Spanish at all. For a short story of this length, I think it was really well done. You did a good job with characterizations, motivations, and the TF. The ending is kind of abrupt though. Like, if you were reading a book and right after a major scene you just skipped straight to the "happily ever after". I feel that nothing ever came of the curse, which was supposed to make the girl 10x hornier than normal and only get release from having sex, so the character got off really lightly and managed to live an unusually normal life for someone who was supposedly cursed to be a 24/7 sex addict.
IIRC, I think you were the same person who wrote that Yang Xiao-Long TG story a while back, and that one was even worse in that regard. In that story, you had this amazing transformation scene, masturbation scene, and even a good clothes shopping scene, and you even foreshadowed identity death when the character used female pronouns a few times, but then it just skips to "He likes wearing girls' clothes a lot" and "She goes to the beach and really likes her new body". I'm guessing that one was still a work in progress, though, and if so, I really look forward to seeing it finished. Do you have any other stories planned or in progress?
Thanks for the feedback. I'd definitely say that one of my weakest points as a writer is finishing up a story and making sure little details added at the end don't conflict with the story. I added that 10x lust thing right at the end and it really doesn't fit with the calm ending
My problem right out the gate is with the prose. It feels too much like sweeping summarization, everything about this guy being told to us right out the gate rather than shown. It just left me feeling detached.
I get the instinct to go right to the good part, but since so much of transformation is based on character (How does this person react? Do they try and fight, do they like it, etc.?) it's really important to get us steeped in the character first and foremost.
Waiting patiently for TheMightFenek shows last girl, hoping for shy gaming nerd.
Otherwise, Chelsea is best girl.
Also, if you are reading this TheMightFenek, if you need any ideas or dialogue, post here and I'll shoot you some ideas.
Amusingly, I feel you made the cardinal sin of a making a side character far more interesting then the protagonist.
Protag is a shit. exists solely for the TG erotica. not even a great character study, as you went with the, "oh, totes upped your libido, so you are going to suck all the cocks instantly" which, different strokes for different folks. is fine.
the issue is, you gave character, and wistful backstory to the witch. sold her soul.. devil? holds it in collateral for something.. shes working with knights templar. part with her taking his soul for a moment.. etc. SHE is far more interesting then the protagonist..