/bdsmg/ -- BDSM & D/s General No. 243
BDSM discussion, stories, questions, random fantasies, just keep it polite and civil.
Fetlife Group -> https://fetlife.com/groups/66560
irc channel: irc.irchighway.net , #bdsmg
Old Thread: >>5942088
Starter Question: How do you like to "mark" your partner during a BDSM scene?
I'm partial to the classic methods of biting and long scratches over their back and along their thighs. My partner should remember they are Mine for several days after a scene.
because it depends on how you define the terms. sadism that has room for empathy, for care between the participants as well as painplay, generally isn't. Just wanting to hurt someone without caring about the difference between painplay and doing harm is called abuse.
Is it fairly common to have a bit of interest in both sides of painplay, yet be absolutely shitfuck terrified of it because you're scared your brain will take it a horrible way and make you crash, or that you'll have massive crashspirals from hurting people you care about?
I think in a lot of the BDSM community there is a focus on keeping submissives safe. As well as many Dom's struggling to reconcile their sadism with their desire to protect someone. Because of that, I think people within the community can sometimes have some complicated feelings about sadism. Especially when it comes to Doms and other Doms?
But that's just an educated guess?
Dying to be hurt, of course!
The world would be a whoooole lot less fun without sadists <3.
Sounds pretty normal for a switch. Doms have complicated feelings like that too. Doms needing cuddles and love after a scene to not crash is a pretty common thing. Aftercare is for everybody!
Aftercare brings more love to the world! <3
Well, I can't give you direct links, but I have noticed that discussions of domming situations have been met with a lot of backlash, even for nearly vanilla stuff like brushing someone's teeth. If not a sense of being unwell, there's a sense that I'm pussy whipped or something for wanting to clean her myself.
Then I hear all sorts of threads about this or that girl being their mistress, and I say anything about taking lead suddenly I'm the one dragging the conversation down sexually. I don't really see why the two arrive at different conclusions, except with >>5946552 in mind. True, I suppose some of my fantasies can get more abusive in execution, but there's a clear divide between what I want to fap/ERP/cuddle and talk about, and what I want to actually try out. How come masochism gets that sort of divide assumed and mine don't?
I'm... honestly not even sure if aftercare would take care of it. I've only really had one proper crash, and that had me damn-near suicidal for about 3 days, and that was off small stuff.
Oh, one thing I forgot. I like to give hypnosis marks. It hasn't come up too often, but I once marked a sub with a 01 on the outside of their shoulders and upper thighs, and a bar code on the back of their neck.
Thanks for the explanation. Honestly, I'm not sure I get their reactions. I want to say they shouldn't worry so much about us subs since we -love- this stuff, but...I suppose, as Chloe spoke about in the last thread, some of us can be naive and get taken advantage of.
I do think people jump the gun sometimes--especially over the tooth brushing thing, which I think I'd adorable--but I suppose they're just trying to look out for us in their own ways.
Don't worry, Anon, we subs appreciate your sadistic ways! <3
No, math *in another language* while spanking is evil...
There was this ultra qt pet boy at a party I went to in Germany, and we had a policy at our rope parties where if you tied someone up, they were 'yours' until you untied them. So I was bored and had fashioned a cat out of rope, and he was like PLS, and his top said we were good to go, so we did a thing. We bent him over a chair with his head in her lap, and he had to count every hit in English, with suitable punishment for mistakes. That was fun.
I don't know where you're seeing it but I usually see it in /gfd/ and tbh I just chalk that one down to misogyny. Women doing something that isn't exactly what my dick wants? Shit! Time for moral panic!
I'm with the "I'm pretty sure that's not true" crowd on this one, though you could be thinking that's the case because sadism is about hurting somebody else instead of being hurt, and /bdsmg/ in particular is huge on safety. If you mean outside this thread, fuck if I know
Though I'm not that big on sadists myself, that's because I'm a lot more into humiliation/control-types of things than actual pain.
>Though I'm not that big on sadists myself, that's because I'm a lot more into humiliation/control-types of things than actual pain.
I might be wrong, but doesn't the definition of sadist cover deriving sexual pleasure from humiliating someone?
I'd say so, and I know some others would, but I've heard it used to refer strictly to physical pain enough to think that most people think of it that way.
>not reciting Hartmann von der Aue in Middle High German with proper metre
That guy needs to step his game up.
That's certainly where i was roughly a year ago? i knew i would be into painplay, but i also knew i'd be way too prone to seeking it as self-harm, rather than mutual pleasure. and had no idea to know whether i'd made progress there or not. sometimes the only way to find out is just try.
emotional momentum is a thing. think of it like diving out of a plane onto a frozen lake. With a good parachute, you have an exhilirating ride, pull your chute, and glide safely down to being a little shaky but almost entirely happy with the experience. Without the chute, you smash into the ice, and if you survive the impact, you probably went through the ice, and are now freezing to death as you claw your way back towards a rapidly diminishing opening that's your only way to avoid freezing to death.
Aftercare is the parachute in this metaphor, just to be clear.
Hang out here, we have cookies served on wriggling living platters seasoning them slightly with lust-sweat.
I've always figured that the origin of the word, which isn't exactly 100% physical, is what tends to color it. Then again, I definitely do think physical first, even if I really should revise "dominant/masochist" when specifying about switchiness. Yay, wordfuckery.
>Why is sexual sadism regarded with much more animosity than sexual masochism, even here?
I personally haven't seen any animosity in my kink circles. Nothing in the Cleveland, Youngstown, Akron, or any online groups I've been a part of had a stigma against sadists. You figure if you're going to have a pain play scene then you're going to need someone inflicting pain.
You can have abusive doms just as often as abusive subs. I've ran into more than a few subs who are hare trigger explodium who latch onto the highest ranking person they can find. Then exploit that relationship so they can explode without much consequence.
From what I can tell there is nothing wrong with you. When being told that there is something wrong with you, first consider if you are surrounded by assholes. Taking control can come in countless forms. So long as what you do is between consenting adults, then you can rock on. In terms of fantasy the sky is the limit. Practically everything is safe when take strictly in a fapping or ERP setting.
Forgot porn and how to spell things properly.
>Fuck, add another fetish to the list
Shall I go on? Or would you rather keep that list right where it is?
>What are you taking about, Ghost? Keep going and never stop!
Well, I've never gotten a chance to expand the barcode mark, but there's some functionality to add.
What I had in mind was to get a sound clip of a bar code scanner and add it to my phone. That way I could stand behind the sub and act like I'm scanning them when I hit the play button. The iconic "BEEP* would be a hypnotic trance on command trigger that would send them down into a mindless sleep.
There would have to be some solid safeties put into play. The trigger would have to be locked to just me and only when the sub has seen my phone for no less than 10 seconds before the trigger can arm. Though thinking about it, with that safety it would develop a strong association with my phone and hypnotic control. I could only imagine what kind of anticipation would go through a sub's mind every time I take out my phone for a call or text.
>There isn't any of the venom and vitriol that you would expect
I don't know what you heard but Czechs and Slovaks get along just fine. We may have split into different states and have some old open wounds but we have more than a friendly relationship. We are basically like "sibling states"
>The problem with having family that's Czech and German is that most of my tastebuds recognize American brews as pisswater
Yeah.... I can imagine
>If the relationship is genuinely caring and loving then I call it a win
True, although when it comes to porn or at least doujins you don't really come across those very often, unfortunately
I've seen it mentioned as the "next step" several times so i had to ask. Glad it's not really considered like that. I would probably never be able to do something like that, only if the sub really and i mean REALLY wanted to do it. Although just "play" with others when i wouldn't be available sounds reasonable, but i'd still wouldn't be very up for it.
I never, ever, not in my wildest dreams, imagined seeing The Good Soldier Švejk on a BDSM thread on 4chan
>You should go out one of these days and meet us! :3
Yeah, I really should.
>Most events seem to happen in central locations indeed
I figured. Well, it's like that with everything here. If you're not from Prague or Brno then fuck you
>like brushing someone's teeth
I've developed quite a thing for that but honestly i don't see why would somebody have overly negative reaction to that. They may surely think it's weird but that should be about it, really
Probably the best description of Sadomasochim i ever saw
Isn't the definition something like "Term used for people who draw pleasure from the suffering of others" Physical pain is one thing, sure. But mental torture is so much more effective and horrifying (Or delicious, depends on the circumstances)
Quick translation from the site: She's glad that he knows how she likes her tooth brushing. She noticed her clothes are all soaked. "Heey won't you make me change them?", "I won't resist at all", "Make me change just the way you like it", "If you can, do it in a way that's even more cruel, okay?"
Ahh, my heart flutters with joy
>Isn't the definition something like "Term used for people who draw pleasure from the suffering of others" Physical pain is one thing, sure. But mental torture is so much more effective and horrifying (Or delicious, depends on the circumstances)
Like I said, it should be. And here, it obviously is.
And yeah, having never experienced it myself I subscribe to delicious for mental torture.
Does anyone have any suggestions for some /very/ long term gags that won't get too uncomfortable? I'd really like something like that.
The issue is, the gags that we have all have to be /super/ tight to not pop right out if I try. Which means, after an hour or so they've dug in deep and will leave marks on my skin and be kind of uncomfortable.
But, I'd really like a solution I could wear like... all day, without difficulty?
I think in kink circles using kink equipment it's well-accepted, but outside with just your hands? Not as much. And more sexist-ly.
For example, it's fine for a girl to like rough sex, spanking, or an arm on the throat. I've had ALL of those come up in "normal" or at least not-officially-kinky conversation. Everyone has a set of handcuffs these days too.
But a guy who likes to hit girls during sex, choke them, and rough them up a bit is regarded with MUCH more suspicion. In my experience anyway.
And people deal with stereotypical "kink" stuff aka leather, spandex, whips and chains, more easily than basic physical sadism.
Hell, I don't watch porn so I didn't have any opinions on sex stuff until I started having it. I had to work through so much mental BS to convince myself that my bf wasn't violent and abusive, and didn't *really* think I was a "fucking bitch" just because he called me one during sex. And I LIKED it. (bondage is more my thing, but I can definitely roll with the sadism) Fully consensual. I still had a really hard time mentally unpacking the societal stigma and getting over it. I spent a lot of time worrying over thoughts like "WHY does he enjoy my pain so much?"
And people even in this thread have reacted with worry and alarm when I mention that he gets off on slapping my face and calling me a whore, bruising me etc. It's natural for people to worry about it, because of the idea that these desires somehow indicate something dangerous in his personality. Whereas whipping or wax play etc is so far removed from what we think of when someone says "domestic abuse" that it doesn't enter people's minds.
Bite marks and bruises are my jam.
Can't speak for anyone else, but I feel like my humiliation and control kink is very closely related to my sadism.
A lot of young people set themselves to "silly" locations or ages son as not to be hit on.
A chewy silicone bit gag, maybe?
My Master is working on a gag which does not use a strap at all. I don't think he'd like me to go into detail here because it's still in the prototype stage, but when he's got a finished product I'll show you c: It's pretty comfortable, doesn't suppress stuff like screams too well but definitely stops you from talking, but it does kinda leave you to drool everywhere.
Ahh, yeah, our Mage one-shot basically centered around my character being hunted down for being a wild caster that was on-record, even though I was just trying to live a normal life.
The mechanics were pretty simple, yet fairly open. The magic tracks (Life, Forces, Time being my character's main three) determine the range of capabilities one has. IE you need at least one orb on the life track to affect living beings such as yourself with spells, but much more for complicated healing tasks. So while the tracks determine how much you can implement or affect those elements of reality, what you actually use them for is completely and entirely open. Combining Life + Forces to double the kinetic impact of a punch for example is something my character did. And what happens as a result of magic is equally open to the DM. The general rule is basically that of magic in the DC Comic universe--reality doesn't like having its rules broken. There's few limits to what you can do with magic, but reality always bites back and demands a price as it tries to correct the error. So overt magics that defy reality and have lots of witness tend to invoke the worst payback. While subtle magics that go entirely undetected are less likely to piss reality off.
So my punch actually served as a nice "trick" to the magic when I would use it. Or something like shooting a kinetic blast with Forces from an unloaded gun might go unpunished. While in contrast, our other player's attempt to fuse a sewer beam with an enemy's calf caused quite a bite-back.
It depends. I would be pretty scared, worried, and upset if they shared me with someone I didn't know. Temporarily shared to someone we've both played with? That could be a fun scene. It's nice when your dom/me wants to keep you to themselves, though.
Ah, Kingmaker is a 6-book Adventure Path in Pathfinder. What really sets it apart is that it's very sandboxy and has all kinds of rules for creating, growing, and ruling your own kingdom. Down from the construction of towns to expansion of territory, generation of market items, and so forth. It's like combining Sid Mier's Civ with DnD.
See, the scary part is when you realize the party made 8-Bit Theater Fighter the Grand General of their Kingdom's Armies because he had the highest STR stat. Oh, and since they had seduced the Kobold tribe leader after rescuing them from the cult-leader, the Kingdom's Warden was a Kobold cheiftan, and Kobolds patrolled the kingdom borders.
I love personal marks. Biting nails, anything that comes from me or my partner. Marks from implements are nice too, but the personal touch is so nice.
Sounds pretty normal. I definitely face all of that if I get into the topping side of it.
I've recently been reading a story where one sub has a tramp stamp that shares a taste of their Mistress' emotions with them on tactile contact. The idea of a mark like that is all kinds of great.
As someone who translates and understands Japanese well enough to enjoy radio dramas and audio files in the language... Holy shit does Japanese do things for me. Like, I know "Mistress" is the common term used in English, but お姉様 in the yuri-submissive schoolgirl looking up to her senior for sexual guidance and fulfillment context is way hotter than it really should be for me. Amongst other terms.
So uh, I missed posting in the last couple threads regarding gaming, but I'm absolutely willing to join/run a /d/ and/or /bdsmg/ campaign. I've got plenty of gaming experience (no ERP aside from one on ones though), and I've been told I'm decent at making things fun for my players. Is this an actual thing that is happening, and is there a place it's being organized?
Hello, my fellow kinksters! I'm back! Sorry it's been so long, but I've been enjoying down time before classes start up again, and that isn't even to mention the Holidays!
In any case, thought I'd drop by to say Mistress did another one! The Star!
On New Year's, since The Star represents free-flowing love, trust, and peace of mind, we did some petplay. She actually laid it on especially thick, to the point where I was legitimately scared of what she had in mind.
She belittled me, pointing out how I was buck-ass naked and shaking like a leaf, saying (not wrongly) that I felt especially vulnerable.
Then she said the most impossibly adorable thing:
"But you know it's okay to be vulnerable. That's why you do this."
Calmed me right down.
She later punished me for doubting her, but I asked for it, so...
Mistress usually traces over the welts on my back with a marker at the end of a session. She even once wrote "kutya" (Hungarian for "dog," she's of Hungarian descent) on my abs. She wants to constantly remind me that I'm her bitch and I love it. Which I do, otherwise, why would I be here?
Not an unusual feeling. It's easy to overcome: Just make sure both sides remember that they both want it, that they've set limits, and that the fact they're worried means that they can't truly hurt each-other except by accident, in which case, nobody's to blame.
Those are probably people who are outward about it. Most kinksters become kinksters at or around 20, but society demands they withhold that aspect of themselves, which is bullshit. In other words, there's probably more, but you need to search harder than normal for them.
I've found that DIY cleavegags and panelgags made with towels or other cloths don't usually get too uncomfortable, but, that's me.
I hope you find the time to attend a local munch or meetup. Seeing some other kinksters in the flesh would do you good. You already have one other /d/eviant you can met.
>True, although when it comes to porn or at least doujins you don't really come across those very often, unfortunately
In the absence of existing porn you can always make your own.
>Both your comments on giving marks made me shiver. I dont neeeed more kinks damn it.
You may not need more kinks, but it sounds like you enjoy finding them.
You sound perfectly fine to me. Many societies place shame and stigma on sex which can take a lot of time and energy. No one is born knowing how sex changes relationships. BDSM and kink add more layers which can each carry their own baggage of shame. You have baggage to overcome when thinking about a kink, how a loved one will take it, and what the people around you would think. Learning how to take time just for yourself and what you want is a whole art onto itself.
Take your time when it comes to owning your pleasure. Try to set aside the baggage you bring into the bedroom and see the truth before you. The two of you enjoy rough play, enjoy the pleasure and thrill it gives you, and you both affirm this is what you want. Try to hold onto this solid and observable truth when your shame and self doubt creep up on you. Being comfortable in your own skin takes time.
Dare I say it, you actually sound happy as of late.
Welcome back Tarot! Good to see you!
Sh-shush you. Don't be observantly pointing out true things like that!
>Sh-shush you. Don't be observantly pointing out true things like that!
Why would I shush? If I did that I couldn't possibly talk about phantom pet ears that gave a lingering suggestion of how good it would feel when they are petted and scratched. Nor could I discuss implanting a trigger that activated when the tips of these ears where pinched and tugged, letting you feel a tight rope harness bind your arms in place and hug into your body.
Damn it Ghost! Nicki already does part of that and it's so damn distraaaaaaaaaacting. M-mean!
Distracting would be having the visual suggestion of several fluttering butterflies softly fluttering on the edge of your vision. The longer you resisted the closer they would flutter to the center of your vision. Even if you closed your eyes, curiosity would slowly build until you peeked open just a bit.
The longer you hold out, the more potent trance hits you when your eyes meet a butterfly. Eventually you'd resurface and wonder just how much time you lost. Good luck, because all clocks would be blurred from your vision.
Bluh. I haven't gotten to do really any hypno, and it's things like this that make it so incredibly appealing. Not fair to tease like that!
I fucking hate you and wish death to all of you, especially the namefags.
I swear if i saw you on the street or anywhere elso I'd not hesitate to bash your fucking skulls open no matter the cost.
Get a load of those extremely perverted sadists.
Masochism all right you like to take it up the ass and some even ruin their life. Pity.
But for sadists i have no compassion what so ever. You guys really blow it up. If i could ever get to know your real names I'd for sure hunt you down you jackasses.
I had some time reading this perverted bullshit. there is even one fucking military guy who seems to torture and manipulate people for fun in his freetime
and those idiots not knowing better and being slave to their penis or vagina don't even realize how extreme and selfrighteous his behavior is.
My blood is fucking boiling! You have to be kidding me!
THE PEST TO YOU
I wish a horrible death to you from the very fucking bottom of my fucking soul
I wish I could make this a little bit more believable to you by actually having you stand in front of me you sick assholes.
0/10 points for trolling. Your technique is bad and you should feel bad.
I'm screencapping this because it's fucking hilarious.
Aaaaww. I love you too, sweety. <3
Let's get together for a circlejerk later tonight!
You bring the lotion.
This art is Dmitry's, right? Because straight up, I cannot stand his art. It doesn't click with me. Except for this one character here, who does things to my dick.
(Of course, if it's not his and just looks like it, I get to feel dumb. But I'm pretty sure it is)
Yeah, it's his.
And I don't understand the commonplace Dmitry-hate beyond the excessively repetitive subject matter.
I think his artwork is great on a purely technical level.
Eh. I'm pretty confident in saying it's just a style thing, as far as I go. Just doesn't work for me. Best I can describe it is everything feels really really shiny in his art even though, from what I've seen, he uses a lot of darker backgrounds. Feels off to me.
I can see that.
The latest stuff has been a bit overworked.
The early junk was much more simple.
More easy for the eye to take in.
hi guys. I assume this is a safe place to start.
i've found bondage through "natural" methods.. e.g. when i lost my virginity I was really rough and aggressive although it was my first time. it went on to it become me again "naturally" finding a (ex) partner into this.
Id see myself on the side of the spectrum that likes "ownership"/"control", like seeing someone as property, theyre apart of me that I own.
now ive got some questions
How fucked up is this?
Am I a "broken" person?
Why am I "like" this?
Why am I not "normal"?
neither of my partners are like this. I feel like in high school (i was once ugly/ungroomed when i was 12.. now I look very good because i take care of my appearance/genetics started changing my face a lot) i got bullied a lot by females etc. and that made me devalue them e.g. see them as shallow as they "judge a book by a cover" which eventually led to me having zero respect for them as I grew older (currently 21).
Any insight would be good. I don't understand this but I feel magnetically attracted to these types of "activities".
Yes, this place is supersafe for these conversations, amazing trollspasms aside.
Most everyone here using a name knows their stuff. You can trust them.
I take it you're best described as a dominant sadist?
And what did you want to learn? The "whys" of it all?
That's going to take some explaining...
Well, people with an urge to Dominate is normal in S/m.
I'm guessing you kinda knew that already but wanted to hear/read some sort of actual validation.
Rough sex is just rough sex, there's plenty of "normal"/vanilla people who enjoy that and don't identify as or relate to sadomasochists.
After reading enough of these threads you will learn that there are sadomasochist couples who can and do have "tender" sex every now and again, of course this is after more rigorous foreplay.
(1) Very fucked up, but that can be a good thing with a willing partner.
(2) Likely so, I am. Someone else will soon admit to it too. It is what it is.
(3) This question ends up being psychobabble and personal theory... so: ?
(4) Everyone has a weird side, everyone has a dark side, everyone thinks they aren't normal enough. Run from the people who don't.
Now, about that possible misogynistic tendency you alluded to...
You had best get past that kind of thinking fast if you want to get along in these S/m threads. There's a huge backlash in most BDSM communities to the stereotype that this is all misogyny-motivated. Plus the whole comparison to rape thing is touchy.
It'll fly if it's your particular kink fantasy but beyond that everyone here knows that women (even sub-women) are to be valued.
Other people are going to say this far more eloquently and completely than I am, but for the sake of responding while this is obviously still fresh in your mind, I'll attempt an answer to what I can.
Are you a broken person? Hell no. Regardless of whatever trauma you may or may not have experienced in the past, there's nothing wrong with the base dominant/submissive desires. Now it's possible to abuse people while pursuing those desires, but that's another topic entirely. As long as you can find a willing individual(s) who will consent to acting out those desires with you, there's no problem pursuing those desires.
Why are you like this? No clue. Top men are trying to figure it out though. Top. Men. But in all seriousness, I'm not aware of any research into why some people are dominant and others submissive. Although you'll find a number of people here and in life who have gone through abuse, have severe mental issues, or have some whole other thing going on with them, that in and of itself doesn't mean anything regarding "You have to be fucked up to be into this" or "Only damaged goods find this attractive." Plenty of.... I hesitate to say normal as I feel that trivializes people, but I'm sure you'll understand my colloquial meaning... people are also into this as well.
Why are you not "Normal?" Fuck if I know, but if you can show me one completely "normal" person who's the absolute paragon of normalcy as paraded by the media and society, I'll show you an impossible contradiction. "Normal" is average, and nobody is 100% statistically average in everything.
May I assume you are male and wondering exactly how much of a bad person these desires make you? That would allow me to tailor my advice a little based on my own experience.
Golly, I hope we don't end up fighting because our answers were so different.
You really don't think the terms "fucked up" and "broken" apply to sadomasochism?
Even if one disconnects them from society's negative implications regarding those words?
For the sake (and safety of anon) I will say abuse has entered into this. the abused turn into abusers quite easily as it restores power once lost, it turns uncontrollable situations into controllable situations. Although this came into play before i even knew what BDSM is.
I see "normal" as a word to describe someone within society that does activities that have no secondary intent. I see normal as someone whos intellect features no "grand perspective" thinking patterns e.g. primarily first person/auto-pilot rather than opposed to the abnormal objectified/3rd person perception on life. Why I think this is "normal" is because its common, hence, normal. I'm not asking for an argument, this is merely my logical perception on this.
Re-assumptions; male yeah. The reason this came into play was when I was very young and innocent a predator tried convincing me "good" and "evil" don't exist, demoralized me, left me dazed, confused, angry, wanting control, needing something to call my own.
Due to that individual harming me I've since had a desire to endure through thin and thick, this left me with the belief others are "inferior" to me as they do not have the same strength as me. I know this might sound fucked up but this is honesty and i cant really sugar coat (my) reality.
This goes into the cycle of "sadism", I'm "superior" to you, I "own" you. I have a negative view of people and they don't meet my own personal "standards". I'm almost wondering if it's best to try and change myself into someone else or simply go with the "flow".
Thanks for the time to reply regardless.
Yes, we're going to fight. One of us is wrong, and we must now settle this on the field of honor. Choose your weapon. But seriously, that kind of different perspective is a good and vital thing in discussions. I may not agree with you, but I welcome you saying it.
I'd argue that "Fucked up" and "Broken" applies to any sexual activity or preference solely as a result of society. After all, how long ago was it that homosexual relationships were viewed as "Fucked up" activities undertaken by "Broken" men who hadn't been hugged enough, or been hugged too much by their mother? Hell, how long ago was it that interracial relationships were inherently "broken" match ups perpetrated by "Fucked up" people who should just settle down with a nice white/black girl?
So tell me how it is that a D/S relationship, between two consenting individuals, is morally or universally "Broken" or "Fucked up" without using any societal implications.
As regarding the anon we responded to and his mild misogyny, you raised points that I should have, and I applaud you for that. Yeah, "All women are shallow whores" isn't an attitude that will get you far and you need to work your way out of that.
Oooooh... shit. Ok, I don't have anywhere near the background in abuse other people in this thread do, and lack the psychological understanding to peel back personal issues on the individual level like this. However, based on what little understanding I possess, I believe you are in abusive territory, rather than what I was thinking of with your original questions. Which, yes, is an actual problem. You are however, aware of this, and seem to be trying to fix it (Why else would you ask?) So good on you for that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what the best advice for you is, or the best path may be, so I'm going to shut up and wait for someone more knowledgeable than me to respond. Still though, if you're even wondering whether you should change yourself to avoid hurting others, you're already many steps ahead of other people.
First: That anon named-up. That's "Heart" and it is an odd name choice for someone with such admitted negative tendencies.
Second: Victory shall be mine! Cartoon mallets at dawn! But be gentle, I've never thrown a punch in my life.
Third: It's not that I don't believe sadomasochism is a natural/instinctual human phenomina but that I believe that it is an inherently dysfuctional/fucked-up development of one's psychological development due to being "broken" by past trauma.
No need to protect this anon, I'm good. But that instict to protect is important for a dominant partner, you will want to nurture the development of that.
Thank you for sharing your personal history to such an extent, you will find many others on these S/m threads that know exactly what it's like to go through that. You are not alone in facing these issues, or in having them relate to your sexuality so.
As for changing who you are, oddly enough that is a regular occurance to sadomasochists. You will eventually find out that many subs are strongwilled in day-to-day life and it's farely common for sadists to be downright meek in non-sexual situations.
There's this sort of mood/energy/mentality that overtakes you... it's a good thing. <3
You sound like my opposite. I went through guy after guy, getting to the point of making out or a bit more... and I was just bored. They weren't responding the way I wanted them to. I'd bite and they wouldn't bite back, basically. I'd push and they'd fall over, when I wanted them to push me in return. I wasn't getting anything from it because they couldn't hear me screaming to be owned. Every relationship would fail when we got to that point. But they simply weren't right for me. For a while it haunted me, thinking I'd never find a partner, but it's possible. We are out there.
I'm not going to bullshit. It'll be harder to find a partner who clicks with you on all levels PLUS this. People say you can convert normals... I don't believe it. But there are other people like you waiting, searching, being bored out of their fucking skulls by vanilla lovers. And you'll find that person, and what you have together will be even more special because you can't get it from any $50 prostitute on Craigslist.
You've found partners who love in spite of your self-proclaimed flaws. Do you not respect them? Have they not helped you?
The sexually non-normal are more likely to be abused, because predators sense they have something to hide and are less likely to report. I don't know how old you were when you were abused, but if you were already growing into your sexuality (12-14) it's more likely that the abuser chose you because you were anxious about your sexuality, not that you developed oddly due to being abused.
First: ...I'm not sure how I forgot that name. Welp, I'm an ass. I agree with you on the odd name choice. But hey, there's a hidden side to everyone.
Second: Cartoon mallets? An odd choice, but if you lack any martial training, I'll surely carry the day! We shall only go to first blood to preserve your honor.
On your third point though, I do have to argue with you. I'm not contesting the fact that there are people with some intense issues into this stuff. I was with one for awhile. But I've met a fair few people who have none of that either, and are sociable, well adjusted adults holding down stable jobs with nary a hint of trauma. My own experience and lack of past trauma tell me that there must be others like me, and that said trauma isn't a prerequisite for kink. I mean, if the "trauma" I experienced through bullying and divorce at a young age were enough to make me want to hit and be hit, then a whole HELL of a lot more people should be into kink, or otherwise suitably "fucked up."
Lord... all these other anons...
I've soooo gotta name-up one day before I get lost in the crowd.
Careful there, don't push the newb to talk about all the painful stuff on night #1.
Save something for the weekend.
Sorry, you can't just find any information you want to know about on the internet.
What kind of crazy science fiction world do you think this is?
First: Yep, I think it's either an ironic name or one designed to invite this conversation so as to make friends.
Second: First Blood!? HARD LIMIT, I expected a loud "Boing" noise at most.
Third: It's gotta be abuse related at a time of psychosexual development. It just is the only way it makes sense. And as for taming vanillas - that's just some Pavlovian conditioning that can't compare to how the real kinksters play. I call posers.
Finally, as for how commonplace kink tendencies are, maybe it's just a question of kink inclination intensity and exposure to concepts? If it was zero-sum then -yeah- that'd be the cincher to this debate but it's not all or nothing.
I'd recommend you read that before trying anything, it's a pretty good 101- only thing I think it does badly is diameter, 6mm is way too thin for anything that's going to bear any serious strain. As far as actual ties, here's an absolute goldmine:
Also, John Shaw's 'The Directory of Knots' is a great source of pretty knots, it's about knots as compared to tying people up but the instructionals in there are great. Just make sure to check that any new knots you tie aren't going to tighten up over time and make everything else you've done slack, and don't fuck around with suspension- if you mess up the weight distribution there there're a whole lot of things that can go awry.
Remember to seal the ends after you cut your rope; you can simply melt nylon, but you're going to have to use glue/nail polish/tape/splice it into itself/etc for cotton, it burns instead of melting. You don't want to burn nylon inside, the fumes are pretty bad for you.
>Hurr durr I forgot about treating rope
Hemp rope definitely benefits from treatment; Google loves you. Cotton and nylon are fine as is. Regardless of material, it could probably do with a wash after you buy it if only out of courtesy; nylon doesn't really change with washing unless you put the wrong kind of detergent in there; I stick with hand-washing it with soap, and hang it up (out of the sun, UV exposure is bad for nylon) to dry. Cotton doesn't mind detergents or sunlight, but it does get softer with each wash.
i posted in here like, a few days ago inquiring about subspace/petspace.
recently, ive been craving the submission again... since my transition is making progress once again, my mind is able to focus on things beyond that.
i guess, what im looking for this post is to feel validated that im not crazy and that i have a chance to live my dream.
not productive in the slightest, but gives me peace of mind. (i have a fear of being crazy, to the point where i question everything around me)
>21 in a few weeks
>submissive, domming makes me super uncomfortable
>really into pet play
all i want to do is live as someones pet. a partner, another couple, anything as long as it feels right. and i dont have a huge sex drive. like, close to non existant, and find it hard to find things arousing even. so im really only in it for the lifestyle of living as a pet, not so much anythnig sexual with it. which, i know isnt mutually exclusive and stuff idk. ramble.
anyway. i love browsing this thread. i always have the most recent one saved on the 4chan thread watcher.
i usually just browse the pictures though, and save the ones that makes me feel happy in my heart. i wish i could like, read along and keep up with the flow of things, but i for some reason cant without getting anxious.
when i do look at actual posts, some of the things you all talk about just resonate with me so well.... like, to the point where it brings tears to my eyes. that there are actually people out there that complete the picture. that i may have hope to really find the right place in this world.
i feel really weird, and i probably am, but like. this eats at me every day.
im going to try to get to a local munch whenever i can. maybe it will put me on the right track.
anyway. thanks for anyone who reads or replies, and thanks to everyone for pictures and conversation that is really helpful.
Okay well I'm glad you're transparent. I am in the abusive territory but I guess that's what a sadist is..? It's hard for me to understand certain boundaries.
B-bitch nigga I named the f-fuck up. I chose heart because I believe everyone has one, even if it's in a closet. It's an old quote.
Well that's the lonely existence many face. In reality suffering only makes an individuals character stronger so i'm not to down about it. You can convert "normals" but it'd be through destruction and remoulding of them.
The name is so I can not be completely "anon", I want my questions answered and not confused with another poster.
It went hilarious.
Onee-sama is just the best title ever.
The 40s woman I met up with last week, and will be meeting again later this month was there in attendance with 20yr old MtF sub into puppy play. The two of them have been play partners for quite a while, apparently, though I don't know how much or little the sub tops. Sex is completely and entirely off the table between them (at the subs request), so they only do kinky play with each other. (The top goes to swinger parties and such as well on her own.)
So none of those things mean you can't find someone.
Remember to take care of yourself too, though. Every single one of the 24/7 slaves that show up at my local munch all have jobs, and lives of their own too.
indeed i do and i have. more converts on the magic of handfeeding? hehe.
probably those ten seconds counting down in their head very very loudly. that's what i'd imagine, anyway.
harness trainer, possibly? you could distribute the tension all around the head so the individual straps aren't super omega tight, but that ball ain't movin. in theory anyway.
count me in on wanting to know more about this!
As long as you're capable of respecting someone as a person and caring about them at the same time you own and control them
> How fucked up is this?
Negligibly. Consentual fun times are consentual fun times, and i'll guarantee that there's plenty of people who can only feel happy in a relationship where they feel owned and controlled.
>Am i a "broken" person?
Maybe? But it isn't liking the SM or BDSM that makes you broken, if you are.
>the other questions
no clue i'm afraid, but that's a journey everyone's on. respect yourself, respect those you get close to, and have fun with it!
it's definitely easy for the abused to become the abusers. there's a rush of euphoria that comes with the thought of 'if i'm the one doing it, then someone else can't do it to me again.' it's a lie, though, and while it's the much harder path to fight against those thoughts, it worthwhile.
The feeling of being able to look at your memories of the abuse and say "you don't control me anymore. you don't influence how i make my choices." is a beautiful feeling. Or, at least, i assume the wholeform is awesome based on how managing bits and pieces of it feel pretty damn good.
Also, it's totally possible to engage in and enjoy BDSM despite a past of abuse.
i can vouch for what >>5947497 said, given i've enjoyed watching them go from 'shoudl i really go to this munch?' to 'whee! i'm gonna suspend someone today!'
you can do it. everyone here knows what it is to be scared and alone and afraid that's gonna be permanent. Yes, stepping up and putting yourself out there entails the risk of being hurt, but it's the only way.
>submissive, domming makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing unusual here! You're certainly not crazy, at least. If reading and posting in this thread helps ease your mind--which I can definitely understand--then please, do join in and make yourself at home!
I feel like we have a lot in common, honestly. I haven't been a poster for very long, but it's put me in a really good mood. It's been a long time since I've felt like I could really be myself with people, and even though I still have a way to go, I feel like I can move forward a bit.
>i feel really weird, and i probably am, but like. this eats at me every day.
I know what you mean. I still have a lot of concerns, and maybe some regrets. If I'd felt the way I do now six or more years ago, I might have made very different choices and be living a very different life right now. I feel like I'm past a point of no return for a few things, but like you, I'm going to think about getting to a munch, hopefully making some new friends, and seeing where I can go from there.
Let's both do our best!
>It was a rather nice day, too with just a light but crisp layer of snow on the steets.
>It would make the nicest of sounds when stepped upon.
Sounds delightful, Anon!
How about some snow bondage?
...... Damn, you're good.
lmao, the funny part is who you're talking about is one of the kindest people how there. Hypocrisy at it's best, assuming your always right and ignoring the truth, then calling other people extreme and self righteous. 1/10, made me respond due to laughter.
I have a better bdsm related version of bait photo. pic related.
Being interested in it is fine, but the last part of not valuing females because bullying is really fucked up, and yes, broken. I'd recommend some serious counseling before you get into a relationship if you're heterosexual.
Yeah, get some major help man. Especially considering some of us have survived just as much, if not more. You really do need help, and I don't mean it in a patronizing manner, but as in a serious you need help one.
There's nothing wrong with needing help, but you need to sort through your feelings, not to mention it'll help you live a happier life as well. I've been through similar and used to be like you.
wrong image, shit. forgot I already attached it, then attached a different one due to memory. here ya go
I've been listening to a lot of Mussorgsky lately, ever experienced him?
Sure, we're perverted. The rest? Naw. I'm just not seeing it.
Woah, woah, woah. A sadist DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND CERTAIN BOUNDARIES. Please get help. Don't get into play until you do. You are dangerous. Seriously. NEVER play unless you can understand and respect boundaries. Sadist means you like causing pain, not whether you respect boundaries, and any respectable one will respect boundaries and follow through. That is the difference between bdsm and abuse. You are on the abusive side. for the love of god, get help.
That's an interesting reply, I like how you're blunt dude I appreciate it but doesn't mean I won't question it.
I'm not playing victim in the slightest dude, I live in a 1st world country, I have it easy, people in the 3rd world survive on peanuts, I'm not asking for sympathy.
What makes you think I need help? Why do I need help? What is wrong with me?
To be straight forward without playing games I can't really see my issues. I don't see myself as a bad person, I just see myself as self-centered and personally, I do not see that as a major flaw.
I'm currently in psychotherapy and i've been told i'm reasonably fine, I just have issues with I guess as you put it, my feelings. I have been getting better at understanding my emotions and see that I have strong deflection emotions so my "wall" does not break. I'm being as transparent as I possibly can be man.
You need to calm down.
oh, thats really interesting. id probably get too emotionally attached, but idk. im sure i could find an arrangement that would be good for me, with an owner that would be compatible.
and yea.... getting a life of my own is something ill have to work on... i definitely need to take care of myself better.
Both the trans community, and the bdsm community have both allowed me to really feel like myself, and comfortable with who i am, maybe getting more involved here will give me the courage and motivation to get out of the house and involved with the real world again.
Sounds good, ill do my best for sure, i owe myself that much ^.^
Welcome to the thread! *noseboop* You seem perfectly fine to me. Human beings are diverse creatures. Look at how many shapes, colors, sizes, details we come in. Our sexuality and socialization is no exception. you enjoy being bound. Rock on! You found a group of people who enjoy that kink as well and enjoy talking about it.
No need to feel ashamed when you can be awesome.
I was bullied a lot as a kid as well. The best advice I can give is to talk to people. See that not everyone is a bullying asshole. This will take time though. The crux of this change will be changing how you see yourself. You're not 12 anymore. Stop paying dues for shit that hurt you in the past.
>Oh joy added baggage that BDSM is evil.
BDSM get's it's share of crazy people. This will set up back a bit, but that means more dungeon and munch organizers need to be a public face to show we're all just human.
>This goes into the cycle of "sadism", I'm "superior" to you, I "own" you. I have a negative view of people and they don't meet my own personal "standards". I'm almost wondering if it's best to try and change myself into someone else or simply go with the "flow".
I had this reaction to trauma. You're not alone Heart. The question is how do you WANT to be? You have people hurt you and take from you. You didn't deserve any of it. Wounds like yours take time to heal, but they can. I found healing took a strong desire not to repeat what happened to, and wanting to regain what was taken from me.
Abuse carved some pretty deep grooves into my sexuality. Pain play, control, and humiliation can all be done from a safe headspace if you are willing to learn.
You resemble me in my younger years, to an extent. You need to deal with your trauma, and the fact that you can;t understand boundaries shows a lack of empathy. If you can not manage empathy, there is something very wrong. Even your wordings show a certain emotional deadness. IT's not what is wrong with you, it's the fact you need to heal. And most people call everyone reasonably fine, that doesn't mean shit. Even when I was suicidal and dealing with fucking abusive parents and was depressed to the point of wanting to kill myself, plenty of therapists and psychologists said I was fine.
And the simple fact that you say because you live in a first world country and have it easy says a lot. I never said you were playing the victim or asking for sympathy, and you don't have to. Fucking get over yourself, just because you want to play the I'm so strong card doesn't mean I can't see your emotional shit. Stop pretending. Just because you are in a first world country doesn't mean you can't have issues.
and if all else? You have been through shit. You need to heal from said shit. This is true for all victims of abuse.
And no, I don't need to calm down. You already claimed to be in abusive territory and said you can't understand certain boundaries and then said oh well I'm a sadist as an attempt to justify it.
I'm literally scared of you hurting someone. That's what is fucking wrong with you. Even if you refuse to do it for yourself, for the love of god do it so you don't hurt anyone else. And no, I won't calm down when you are an obvious threat. That would be irrational.
Guy's right, even if you do have valid points you need to chill the fuck out. From where I'm standing it just looks like you're shouting at him.
(In response to all your posts, not just that one)
I feel that dating/having sex with/doing BDSM with someone you don't feel at least respect for is a very bad idea. It's definitely a good thing that you see your lack of respect for women as a problem; I'd recommend trying to spend more time with women as friends, believe it or not they're pretty similar to us guys on average once you manage to cut through societal norms and the like. There are certainly some horrible people out there, men and women, but don't let that stop you finding the ones that aren't awful. Everyone has flaws, the only difference is how we identify and deal with them (or not).
>Question: Any beginner level rope tying instructions online for BDSM?
The youtube channel "Two Knotty Boys" is a popular one for beginners who like instructional videos.
>Any good BDSM CYOAs or games?
None that came to mind. That's why I started writing my own.
Glad we can help anon. Transitioning is one of the hardest things a person can go through and I'm proud of you for doing what you can to take care of yourself. We have several trans kinksters here on the thread. Every munch is different, but I've found most kink circles provide safe spaces for those transitioning to be themselves.
I've known a couple people in your situation. Petplay is really popular in the trans community. Your sex drive is what it is. I'm sure there are people out there who will love on you just the way you are.
>Needs more frolicking in the snow. And Cowbell.
>...... Damn, you're good.
Why thank you.
>Oooh yeah, tell me more about how you'd like to hurt me.
You're awesome djehuty. Never change.
>Haha, am I that much of a miserable cunt normally?
More that you've been more able to open up and be vulnerable.
>I'm currently in psychotherapy and i've been told i'm reasonably fine, I just have issues with I guess as you put it, my feelings. I have been getting better at understanding my emotions and see that I have strong deflection emotions so my "wall" does not break. I'm being as transparent as I possibly can be man.
You sound like you're on the right track to making the changes you want to make. You chose the name Heart for a reason. You should be fine to play with people so long as you have a personal limit on safewording when you feel your control is slipping. I have to do this on occasion. Doms can have limits and safe words too.
youre just the most recent one to have responded to me, is tripcode circle jerking really that looked down upon? i dont see why people would flame it so much. but because of that it makes me nervous. im going to just put a name in for now, if i feel like i dont wanna use it anymore ill stop i guess :3
>Transitioning is one of the hardest things a person can go through and I'm proud of you for doing what you can to take care of yourself. We have several trans kinksters here on the thread.
Mmm, question for everyone I've been wanting to ask: is it even fair for me to describe myself as "trans"? I don't know if I'm insulting people who are doing or have done more about it than I have--that is, I know how I feel inside, and I want to express and explore it, but maybe something like "crossdresser" would be more honest...?
I don't think I have a fraction of the courage people who've transitioned have, and ever since the age I heard it was even an option, I've believed I never would have such courage.
Boy, you'd think deciding you were born the wrong sex would be the end of the gender confusion, huh? Guess I do still have a way to go...!
>Any good BDSM CYOAs or games?
"Cover your own ass games"?
>is tripcode circle jerking really that looked down upon? i dont see why people would flame it so much.
Some see it as "against board culture". Anonymity means that what someone says is taken as it is, and not who it's coming from. Basically, someone can think someone is right based on their name and reputation, even if they don't mean to.
However, I think these people are probably taking that idea to an almost religious extreme. There is a time and place for names, and that's why the board allows them. It's easier to keep track of your responses if you use a name, so don't be afraid to whilst it serves such a purpose!
SO far there are about three camps on names. People ahve their own unique opinions, but here are the major ones.
People use names as a means of persistent conversation.
People who are anon because of the relative safety of anonymity, or who feel posting anon is more in line with how they see 4chan culture should be.
Trolls that would hate on everything, even the sky for being blue.
We keep the trolls at bay, but most people here find names useful for ongoing conversation.
>Mmm, question for everyone I've been wanting to ask: is it even fair for me to describe myself as "trans"?
Feel free to describe yourself in whatever terms help you feel most comfortable. This thread isn't about a "how suffers more" pissing contest. Pursue whatever you feel would make you happiest with living in your own skin.
>"Cover your own ass games"?
Chose your own adventure. Instead of a linear novel, there are branching story paths to read.
I hate to spam posts but I feel like this is going to get buried in the drama otherwise
Have a pic for your trouble.
Also, another question is the tongue thing used in the pic. Is it just chopsticks and elastic bands?
What is the point of it, and does it work in reality or just my japanese animes?
also does anyone know any Guile safejump/frame trap setups?
>This thread isn't about a "how suffers more" pissing contest.
True. Sorry if it came out that way...! I probably shouldn't worry about labels so much, but I have issues about misrepresenting myself, and the definitions still confuse me sometimes.
Like I said above, this thread has definitely let me feel comfortable in my own skin!
It's basically a way of using your own tongue as a gag, if that makes any sense. Lots of drooling and garbled words. I've heard it works, but I've never tried it, and apparently it can be tough on the tongue.
>reality always bites back
You mentioned this several times but never really said how. Is there like a physical backfire through your body or some "in-game" penalties?
Oh, right, it's Pathfinder. Now that you mentioned it i do actually remember seeing something like that in it
>In the absence of existing porn you can always make your own.
Text only, sure. Something like a doujin/with pics, no. I tried drawing and damn how much i wish i'd have a talent for it but no i don't. I really really don't
Is this supposed to be sarcasm? I really hope so, for anon-kun's sake
I may not have asked for any of this myself but thanks. I was in a need of something like this too
At least there is some nice music taste
>I want to gut you and dispose of your corpses in the sewer.
Meh, there much more interesting ways to kill someone you hate... DAMMIT, now you got me thinking about all those beautiful torture techniques and devices
I think that mouse is about to have a wonderful afternoon
Not related directly to trans since i'm not one but i can understand how you feel. In some things/cases you always fear that you are just a "poser" and if it's okay to call yourself this and that
I'd also like to know if that's usable in RL, since it seems like a really nice idea to me
Now, since there has been some talk about sadism in general i'd like to mention one extremely funny thing about it. The gender differences. You have your femdoms - dominatrixes which are more widely known to "normal" people and they are somewhat more accepted it. Same goes for when some women hits a man. That's okay, she stood up to that brute. But when a man would say that he loves to tie down, choke and spank his girlfriend/wife then OOO SHIT, GOTTA SKIN THAT FUCKER ALIVE. Even when you rule out BDSM and just go with an abuse scenario. Almost nobody would believe a guy who would say he's being abused by some women, especially if it would be sexual or physical abuse. They would most likely say that he just wants attention or wants to blacken her name, i mean she has a vagina for Christ's sake, how could she do something like that.
And to make things clear, this is not meant as an attack on women. Sorry if i offended any females here but this is just how it is.
Ah, so it is usable.
If you meant clothespins then i'd say yes. I tried that on myself and it does work but only to an extent. I'd suggest waiting for a response from someone more experienced with them
>In some things/cases you always fear that you are just a "poser" and if it's okay to call yourself this and that
Mmm! That's the worry exactly! I couldn't quite find the right words--but it is 4:30 in the morning and I'm posting from my phone in bed...
I have my doubts it would work. Wouldn't they be able to force it off with their mouth and/or swallow it?
>Chose your own adventure. Instead of a linear novel, there are branching story paths to read.
I seeeeee. ತ ⌔̫ ತ; Don't I feel silly.
>You mentioned this several times but never really said how. Is there like a physical backfire through your body or some "in-game" penalties?
One form of pushback is a Paradox. This is when someone who doesn't believe in magic witnesses what happened. You can shoot a lighting bolt into a man's chest, but if you do it in a crowded market you may open a hole in reality and let out a bunch of hungry demons. Ways around this would be to have a believable excuse on hand. Such as shocking someone near a subway so the electrified rail accidentally arcing could explain electrocution. One of my favorites was a mage keeping retainers who would follow him with video cameras shouting "we're making a movie!"
Gag looks uncomfortable but should work, good luck talking with your tongue more or less disabled. As far as self-chastity the combo lock thing could work, depending on the lock- a standard 4-digit lock has 10000 combinations, so you're going to be around for a while trying all them. There exist 4-digit locks with 1-6 as valid digits, that's 1296 (6^4, forgive my arithmetic if it's shoddy) combinations; that may be a more reasonable number to start with. Freezing the key in ice or 'accidentally' leaving the key (taped inside a book or something like) at a friend's are the other ideas that spring to mind, freezing has the advantage of a quick escape mechanism should you need it but otherwise a combo lock seems like a better idea apart from having to get a new lock each time.
Ouch! The tongue's pretty sensitive, you know... it'd probably go numb after a while (for better or worse...)!
i can agree, there there is a double standard. im even guilty of it myself. (im a little biased though because daddy issues and stuff) but i definitely notice that i think differently of men sadists than i do women sadists. probably something i should probably break
Looking for some ideas from my fellow /d/eviants - challenges I can give my sub. Something she's enjoyed recently is having me play with her pussy while not being allowed to make a noise - if she moans, I stop and don't let her cum. Any other ideas for similar challenges/games I can play with her?
Yup. When I broke up with one of my exes, she tried to attack me in public (I wasn't planning to break up with her in public; it's a dumb move in general, but she pushed me to it); I literally did nothing apart from deflect her attacks and try to calm her down until some stranger swings full-force at me from the side, shouting about me abusing her. Thanks to him being so loud about it, I had plenty of warning so managed to avoid getting hit. I think my ex gave up on trying to attack me around now, but he kept coming at me; I more or less continued as before, doing nothing beyond keeping my distance and trying to talk him down. After landing a few glancing blows on me, he got bored, gave up and disappeared. I went into a nearby pub to use the bathroom to clean myself up, came back out of the bathroom to a couple of police officers at the bar asking after me. I turned myself in (I didn't do anything wrong, right?), spent the afternoon in the police station explaining myself. I don't know if anything ever came of it for the other guy or my ex, but I managed to avoid charges; I pretty much told the police I didn't want anything to do with it if I could avoid it, and that was the last I heard of it.
I was asleep, but would have responded to you too! Unfortunately, especially during an influx of troll-y shenanigans it's easy for people to miss a post.
No such thing as "not trans enough". Regardless of your progress or plans for transition, as long as you know who you are on the inside, you're free to present yourself as yourself. Besides, there's a huge spectrum of gender presentations out there, and there's no single correct way to be.
Thank you all for the gag suggestions. Yesterday was quite a day, but I will bring them up.
I think if we went with a cloth gag, we'd use bondage tape to secure it rather than another cloth.
It hurts a lot. Depending on the strength of the clothespins, it can be very painful on the tongue.
Whether that is a good or a bad thing is up to you. It does make if very difficult to speak, and does increase drooling.
Never keep clothespins on any sensitive area for more than 10-15 minutes, as they cut off blood flow and can potentially do permanent damage.
Besides, removing them after they've sat for a while is the most painful part. So, it's good fun for a sadist to take them off and let blood flow return to that area, only to put them back on a slightly different location, or wait for recovery and put them right back on.
>is it just chopsticks and rubber bands?
>would it work
depends on the 'wearer's oral dexterity, and willingness to have a lot of pain pulling their tongue through it and back into their mouth. the less 'roudned' the edges of the chopsticks are, the harder and hurtier this will be.
Glad you got through it okay.
That pictures really hot.
It's modern day feminism and a combination of guys in the generation of Y/X putting pussy on a pedestal. This can come from (western) society being less about morals and more so into pleasure, resulting in guys wanting to be the hero for* the pussy resulting in pleasure (rather than the whole moral of it), of course just an opinion.
How old are you ghost?
I'm sorta curious, but do you do hypno with people? I feel like it'd be pretty rude to kinda just come up to you and ask to get hypnotised, but you keep posting and it's sorta got me more than a bit curious.
>How old are you ghost?
How old do you think I am?
>I'm sorta curious, but do you do hypno with people? I feel like it'd be pretty rude to kinda just come up to you and ask to get hypnotised, but you keep posting and it's sorta got me more than a bit curious.
Over skype and text for the most part. I have a little bit of experience with voice based inductions.
If you're curious then make sure the hypnotists in question agrees to whatever you need for your safety. If they try to talk you down from things you need for safety, like a friend present, or stated limits, then they aren't the hypnotist for you.
Okay, a few thoughts... just to introduce these positions into the conversations:
First, we shouldn't forget that Heart is a newb to not just the thread but also to sadism. He probably hasn't even learned about SafeSaneConsentual yet. Plus I can remember how confusing it was to figure out my own sadistic sexuality without any sources of accurate information so he might even be confusing dominant sexual feelings as what we would otherwise see as misogyny or sociopathy. For him there's a lot up in the air right now so we shouldn't judge too harshly too soon.
Next, to Tabris (>>5947682 ) I say you're "trans" nomatter where in that umbrella term you do land. The kink stuff still bluring these lines for you? Just permit yourself to live a good-faith lie if that's what it ends up being.
To >>5947636 I say "Welcome." and feel free to post here as much as you need to. We all learn from one another, so you'll be useful to us. TeeHeeHee...
And on the gender treatment/sexism debate I would point out that because the societies that we live in have made this a class issue that it by default means that our rules have to reflect in some way that reality. So sexism in S/m is just going to continue in one way or another so long as it exists in our world.
>The kink stuff still bluring these lines for you? Just permit yourself to live a good-faith lie if that's what it ends up being.
A good-faith lie, huh? Hmm... Sounds sorta like the "be kind to yourself" philosophy I try to keep in mind. Well, thanks for taking the time to reply--I really appreciate your input!
>I didn't really mean in hypnosis in general, I more specifically meant you. I've done a bit with a few people and it's been good.
I'll talk to someone for a long while to get a feel for them. What a person's goals are, getting a feel for their capacity for good judgement, personal boundaries, values, and empathy. If getting close to this person is likely to bring distress to one or both parties, then I don't do a session.
From there I'll start getting a feel for what kind of suggestions work well for the subject, Direct/implied, sensory information. What kind of emotions, speed, tempo, and expectations at work with hypnosis. A lot of this is interspersed in friendly conversation. That's just how I get to know people.
Once I get a warm fuzzy feeling on the subject then I'll negotiate an introductory scene. This will involve talking every aspect of a 30 minute session in exhausting detail. We'll talk about limits, relationships, boundaries, personal history, etc.
I skipped this process only once and it resulted in a messy shitstorm. Never again.
The 30 minute session goes according to script. If there is an unexpected complication from a manic attack or hitting a landmine of trauma then I'll wake up the subject and administer aftercare.
If someone wanted to talk to you and maybe get to know you, not really even directly for getting hypnotised but just as a general "Hey you seem like a pretty chill person, and it might be cool to talk shop about hypno occasionally" thing, what would be the best way to do that?
I'd go with 30ish. I say that because I don't believe many in there 20s can understand hypno as the brain is still developing/still changing/hormones.
Yeah dude I am a newb. I've explored this very lightly in the past although. That's why I'm here, to learn, to gain self-awareness, see if this is worth it and see the pros/cons.
Misogyny towards women which have no philosophical depth, yet that's balanced towards towards how I see males as well.
Sociopathy is definitely no, I'd be in a gang or be a serious drug user. I wouldn't be exploring this and try to gain a safe understanding if I was.
I'll throw out a question anyway.
Theirs this girl I know. I want to lightly tie her hands up with her panties and fuck her from behind. Zero knowledge if shes into BDSM, I highly doubt it. What do you guys think of this?
This is a good good move. I've only tried hypnosis with two people, and while the first I had a little less closeness and trust with, I still have a large amount of trust and background with both of them at this point.
Always have trust with the people you work with. Always negotiate. Always feel each other out.
To all the people, never just do it because you wanna see with reckless abandon. If you wouldn't let some random person bind you and entrap you, why would you give someone control over your mind?
>I say that because I don't believe many in there 20s can understand hypno as the brain is still developing/still changing/hormones.
I am 20 and was never able to experience hypnosis. I remember some people trying doing it to me in a non kinky way, but no chance. It actually makes me sad, because I'm a total masochist and would love to have someone take control of my mind.
Then again sometimes I think this might be a sign of solid willpower, but I probably just try to make up for it.
Yeah, that's entirely wrong. Modern day feminists are radical feminists. The vast majority of them, even.
There ARE people out there that want equality, but that's no longer what feminism actually is for most people.
>If someone wanted to talk to you and maybe get to know you, not really even directly for getting hypnotised but just as a general "Hey you seem like a pretty chill person, and it might be cool to talk shop about hypno occasionally" thing, what would be the best way to do that?
I'm not the most social person outside the thread. Usually when I try to get to know people outside the thread, it explodes. Meeting people from the thread would be nice, and you would think making new friends would improve my lot in life, but it always ends badly.
>I'd go with 30ish.
Not too far off.
How do you know your not very easy to trance, and every hypnotists has capitalized on a natural habit to forget? Like how you want up from a dream and you rationalize anything out of place by just feeling sleepy.
There are a lot of different ones on TFGamesSite. There were several good quests running on /d/ prior to Christmas too. Some have migrated to anonkun, which has some interesting smut quests?
Well, it's okay to get somewhat attached. Most I've spoken to enjoy at least some connection with their play partners. Just be honest. You can probably be upfront about attachment concerns too, really.
And yeah, the safety of the scene is something I've really, really come to love about it.
Welcome to the thread!
Like Strange said, it doesn't matter. You're free to express yourself as however you'd like to be here.
I know I myself have started using "GQ" on Fetlife in this past year, since it's closer to where I find myself wanting to be.It's amazing how much one can fret and puzzle over a simple drop-drown menu change. I find it can often be a relief when people ask about what the term means to me, since it gives me a chance to give a bit more elaborate explanation.
As someone who has had clothespins on the tongue before... OOOOOOOWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwww ahhhmmm*drool*
And yeah, chopsticks rubber banded around, well, anything, be it tongue or nipple, makes for a fairly cheap clamp. Tighten band for more pain.
So, I have this book called 拘束少女絵巻 which features all kinds of cute girls bound in various restraints and torture devices next to text detailing the history of said devices. Pic related is one image from it...
Predicament bondage? Such as tying a knotted rope from one hard point to another and making her walk the length with it between her legs in order to reach you and whatever reward you plan for her making it. With the rope getting higher, and the knots thicker as she nears the goal, of course.
Let me get this straight...
If today I decide to identify as a feminist on the basis of my longstanding belief that society's rules should apply equally to men and women in every regard that means...
What? That I as a modern age (ie: now) feminist am a "radical feminist" by default?
And so what does "radical feminism" mean and how does it differ from the old definition of feminism? Or for that matter, to my long-held beliefs?
You can go ahead and believe whatever you want and practice it however you want.
But the fact is that nowadays, for the majority of people, feminism no longer means equality, it means tumblr-tier hatred for men and sexism disguised as equality, and that anything opposing it is the patriarchy keeping women down.
>How do you know your not very easy to trance, and every hypnotists has capitalized on a natural habit to forget?
I see what you did there.
It's a nice and kinky fantasy though.
>You're still pretty Young
I'm sad I couldn't do kinky stuff earlier. I experience the urge since I was around 13.
well, feminism literally means the advancment of women toward equal standing of men. it advocates for gender equality. that just the definition.
> for the majority of people, feminism no longer means equality
thats like saying "for the majortity of religious folks, all they want to do is kill those who dont believe what they believe" which we all know not to be true.. its only the most crazy fringe people that have to speak the loudest to be heard. you may feel like you /see/ more radical feminists than not, but thats because theyre radical, and are trying to bring their ideals to the front of everything.
>Yeah, that's entirely wrong
>There ARE people out there that want equality
just thought that was funny to point out. probably needlessly nit picky and pedantic, but it is what it is.
>my first day here and im already in a heated conversation
i probably should have layed low .-.
Nah, you're fine, it's just that the whole feminism thing is annoying because I've seen far too many people claim to be feminists while basically holding an axe behind their back ready to strike out at someone.
Are you sure of that?
You say I can practice and believe whatever I want but my politics are being openly misrepresented and I am being vilified for identifying with the dictionary definition of feminist. As someone proclaiming that all or most modern feminism is morally wrong how would you feel if your own position was redefined as support for rape or the outright non-consentual enslavement of all women? Wouldn't being continuously confronted with those claims about your politics negate any statement you might make to the contrary? Thus denying your right to hold and promote your political positon?
Oh, "and the fact is that nowadays, for the majority of people" sadomasochism is considered sexual abuse.
If the majority of people believe it... well...
...it's such a good arguement that something is true.
Cause while mine hasn't been the best, you are all classy folks who make the day better.
>You say I can practice and believe whatever I want but my politics are being openly misrepresented and I am being vilified for identifying with the dictionary definition of feminist.
Nice. Love to read.
Opinions loose value if you say:
"You are entitled to your opinion, but I don't give a fuck about it."
>It's amazing how much one can fret and puzzle over a simple drop-drown menu change.
Exactly! I even tried to clarify what it means to me in the rest of the profile, but I still wasn't totally sure. I feel more secure in my choice now thanks to everyone's comments!
First, you're talking to two seperate people.
Second, I'm not saying that /you/ are not an actual feminist, or at least I wasn't.
I am saying that, in general, most people that call themselves feminists today are not normal feminists. They are radical feminists that go around with the disguise of being normal feminists and use it as an excuse to push abusive, harmful ideas, and to hide from all opposition by being able to immediately cry 'muh sexism'.
Buuut then you decided to actually ignore what I was saying, take it as a personal attack, and not actually read at all.
I'm having a day so if you want to do this I'm up for it.
If you want to claim that my post in response to you was not relevent to your message then you're going to have to think of a message for your post to actually have said.
It seemed to be simplistic undefined babble in opposition to any point other than what the poster of >>5948853 wanted to spout.
If it wasn't then explain to everyone here what you did intend to say.
You say I thought you and that anon were the same person but what in my post actually says such a thing? Nothing? f it's nothing then aren't you ... wrong? ... ?
And as long as we're claiming to know what other's think when they post then why don't I claim that you simply don't.
Now hurry up and respond so we can start this.
I'm more amazed that there would be 55,763 other submissives that like to control sluts.
How did I never notice this population before?
Well, in the very first BDSM thread Ghost was found abandoned on the thread's doorstep and so was taken in and raised within the thread's inner circle for his whole life.
Meanwhile I'm still a pledge for inner circle membership after 50 years.
how much did you trust the people who tried? different things work for different people, and if you're having trouble, your first trance is going to be your hardest.
it's a learned skill. the headspace of "i'm playing this slut as a musical instrument for the pleasure of the Tops around" is a useful one for that.
also, i feel like i have made the thread worse. ill post a pic and shush for a while till i have something relevant to say~
I don't usually have a problem trusting people. Whether I trust someone I decide within the first few seconds of contact.
It's their voice, look and eyes.
I'm afraid of loosing control, because when I do shit get's messy.
When I'm unaware of myself I do the stupidest shit.
Last time I got drunk with my friends I ran around telling I was part of the mafia and even punched one in the face pretty hard.
They just lol'd the next day but my mother was shocked.
I'm afraid I'll say something wrong and shameful when in trance.
It's not an insult.
I used that name on a TG board for several years.
And the word is a euphemism for depressing.
And I was a real downer back then.
You have been warned.
d-do you think i might be able to receive a nosebooping?
>d-do you think i might be able to receive a nosebooping?
Yes you may. *noseboop*
oh, yay ^.^ thankies
and damn, i need to get material to pull from other than just wallpapers ive saved from /w/
One great example is drafting women into WW3. Equal rights. Really want that? If not I expect no double standards since I have the risk of premature death and I ask for a better weekly pay check so I can enjoy my (shorter) existence on this earth.
Feminism walks into many arenas such as political and economical.
For example, economics is like a science such as chemistry. If X + Y = Z, that's how it is. It lacks morals. It simply is numbers. You putting morals into numbers doesn't make much sense.
<3 this pic from an earlier thread
>Higher paycheck to account for a shorter life
You get out what you put in. If you want to work the tough jobs and put in the work, then you'll get paid appropriately. If you don't want to put in the effort, then you deal with what you recieve.
There is demonstratable evidence that the supposed wage-gap doesn't exist, so don't try that shit.
For someone who is just starting to get interested in BDSM and petplay things, what would be some suggestions for non-lewd things that a pair of people could do to eachother? Both switches to some degree. Nothing... super intense, just slowly testing the waters.
A friend and I are interested, but kinda... suddenly just hit a wall of "Wait this is possible now, but what can we actually start with to build up stuff"
Jesus fuck. I know this isn't hentai but I need to say it.
Whatever kind anon around here told me about these Skyrim mods, I love you. I haven't fapped this many times in one night since I was a teenager.
holy shit these threads are up above 200 now? I remember when they were in the 20s!
>For someone who is just starting to get interested in BDSM and petplay things, what would be some suggestions for non-lewd things that a pair of people could do to eachother?
Take turns hand feeding each other. Have one person be the pet and the other be the Owner doing the hand feeding.
Seems my post led to feminism. I think i'll refrain for commenting on it since the discussion looks to be over and because this theme could easily fuck up the thread
>Wouldn't they be able to force it off with their mouth and/or swallow it?
Hmm, couldn't that be used as another type of dominance and submission? Dom would simply say no, you can't take it off. The sub would know that it's in hers/his possibilities to easily remove the thing that causes pain, hampers speaking, makes her/him drool all over the place but at the same time he/she would know that he/she can't. He/she simply and plainly can't. Even though he/she's very well capable of doing it. It probably wouldn't have a big impact just with this but it could be used with something "bigger"
So that's how it is. That's a nice concept. Something like this makes playing a mage character even more interesting
Just googling it almost made me drool. Now i just need to find some nonexistent english version of it.... Or maybe i could finally learn japanese. The hard part is finding a teacher
Veeery nice pic but as a former DoTA player i just had to laugh when i saw the "kunkka" under it
>You bully! I hate you!
When i hear that from somebody i'm doing horrible -wonderful- things to then i can safely say i can die happy
Hahah, nice. I remember seeing one when if you lost a battle all enemies of the opposite sex would take turns on you and then kill you. The only way to escape was when they were switching. Some guy on YT played with that mod on the hardest difficulty, 'twas hilarious.
>Just googling it almost made me drool. Now i just need to find some nonexistent english version of it.... Or maybe i could finally learn japanese. The hard part is finding a teacher
https://www.nihongomaster.com/ I quite like this website for getting started. Makes it easy to get a little practice in every day and you choose how fast you want to move through it.
For consentual hypnosis to work in any significant way, you have to be willing to trust the hypnotist with your loss of control. One way of thinking of it is you're not losing control, but putting the control in their hands.
Things can suddenly and unexpectedly go very very wrong with hypnosis. And if you don't trust the person you're working with to do their best to get you back safely if that happens, then you don't trust them enough to be doing it.
they have a tutorial now? Don't suppose it includes how to get Turbosnowy's stuff going as well? tried ages ago and gave up in frustration.
That's always good to hear! I hope others reading the thread might feel the same.
Man... Kuroko is just delectable in all kinds of ways... masochistic, submissive, loyal, devoted, blatantly open about her sexual yearnings... and yet as evidence by her on-the-clock and other behaviors, quite much more than just those things too.
Hmm, what if you top enjoys hearing such things? I've seen more than a few people say some silly stuff when tranced, and it often is a ploy on stage hypnosis too, and usually it's quite fun and entertaining?
It can do a lot if you find a way to feel safe when going into it too. Maybe talk to your top about your concerns, find out what they think?
The fact that it's a -series- is just delicious. I own a few. The history pages basically amount to stuff you can learn on wiki or by googling, and the pictures are delectable.
I studied Japanese in college myself. We used the JSL texbook series which is fairly good for learning the grammar, though it teaches from a very linguistic perspective, which may or may not be good for some.
If you would like to talk to somebody about the issue of distinguishing between consensual sadism and abuse, I think I could probably be quite helpful. I came to kink through being the bad kind of sadist and also have a history of venomous misandry, so I think I probably understand the difficulties that have come up ITT. If you wanna message me I'm Hex_Feldragonne on FL.
I have a big issue with this argument. No feminist will define what a radfem is. Any dodgy belief commonly peddled by feminists will be instantly met with a cry of 'NAFALT! Only radfems think that!' But that doesn't really hold water when these are mainstream feminist beliefs being propagated by the majority. So go on, humour me. What is a radfem?
Are you that same Enforcer from /r9k/ by any chance?
>So how's your day been /d/?
Eh. Found out the girl who I'd been trying a poly relationship with has, after much soul searching, decided it wasn't for her. She decided to back out gracefully instead of trying to 'steal' me, which is much appreciated. We left on good terms and shall remain friends for the forseeable future.
well, im only trying to go by what the definition of feminism is, and then what people label feminism as when its really not. screaming patriarchy, is pretty radfem to me. acknowledging that there is a a difference in how women are treated in the work place isnt radfem. saying that all men harass women is rad fem. saying men never get harassed is rad fem.
just a few examples. sure, some people may scream 'not all feminists are like that!' but you cant dismiss everyone who tries to explain they dont believe the same things.
i go back to religion. you can easily say muslims are all terrorists, but that would be incorrect, not all muslims are terrorists. its only the radical extremists. thats simply a fact. just like all the christians that bomb abortion clinics, are the fringe radicals. not typical of the group as a whole.
i hope i got my thoughts down correctly. very likely i didnt, in which case, please forgive me. just trying to explain my opinions and such. not saying im 100% right
Okay, so we seem to have a similar understanding of what it is to be a radical feminist. However, I can definitely say that the majority of feminists I run into do the 'screaming patriarchy' thing and also the #Notallmen thing, which I would argue falls under 'men never get harassed'. If a 'radical' belief becomes mainstream, how can you call it radical? You certainly can't assign it to a fringe group and so absolve the majority, at any rate.
well, thats the thing, i dont really think the radfem beliefs are indicators of what a majority of feminists (definition wise) really believe. the craziest people yell the loudest. just because you see a lot more radfems screaming 'patriachy' and shit, doesnt mean there arent more people who arent screaming, who still believe in gender equality.
to be fair, i dont have exact numbers for what percentage of feminists are radical, but i would bet money that more are rational than radical. just only see the crazies, because crazies make good stories.
but if i am wrong, and there are more radfems than rational, then im fine admittiing that most feminits would be crazy. but it doesnt take away from the fact that the main goal of feminism should be gender equality. if a radfem isnt in favor of this across the board, theyre not a true feminist in the end anyway
I come across a lot of feminists simply because I hang out with a lot of women due to my hobbies. They're not any kind of group preselected to be more radical, they are just a bunch of women from different ethnic, cultural and economic backgrounds. And 90% of the ones who identify as feminists are fucking unbearable as soon as they get onto the topic. Like, if you're a sane feminist, then good! Great! Keep doing the thing! But if you don't acknowledge that most feminists are not like you, it will affect how seriously people take you. Whether that bothers you or not is your call.
I know what you mean. Most feminists I meet, As soon as you mention anything to do with feminism, or if you give them an excuse to shoot off, a perfectly normal woman can turn into a screaming feminist banshee.
This looks promising, thanks
Ah a series. That's why i saw it multiple times with different covers. They do look like something i'd love to own. Guess i know what to look for if i ever visit Japan/learn the damn language
I only know a few words and phrases myself but i really wanted to learn it for a while now. If i ever get a chance to study it i definitely will. I should actually have it a little bit easier since most of their letters are read the same in Czech
I was wondering on the other thread; anyone have the source of this pic?
For curiosities sake, I would love to read a survey of self-proclaimed feminists about specific, controversial issues. Kayt's point about vocal minorities jives with everything I know about people and confirmation bias, but it really is hard to overcome the feeling that feminists are just generally batshit crazy when that's almost all you ever deal with in person.