Thread replies: 48
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Hey /d/ i need your help,
Earlier i was enjoying some arachnid doujins,
when suddenly i felt a tingling on my thigh, when i went to flick it away, i felt it now on my other thigh.
when I looked down it had jumped on to my shirtless chest. there was a huge brown recluse on me, so I panicked and tried to kill it while tring not to awaken anybody else in the house, but i couldnt get it.
TL:DR spider attacked while jerking off, and now i cant rest easy until its dead, and worse off, i was left blue balled.
I need a new temp fetish i can enjoy until I know this fucker is dead.
Please help a brother out.
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Relax man, its just spider bro
he wants to protect your home
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>>5667964
Brown recluse bites are pretty fucked up, though.
>>5667943
Go for that cum inflation.
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>>5667943
>not realizing that the spider had been watching you for years unnoticed
>it had spent all this time admiring you from afar
>discovers you have a thing for spidergirls, thinks it might have a chance with you
>tries to build enough confidence to actually interact with you but is incredibly shy
>today was the day though
>tries to seductively brush up against you initially, hoping that you would notice it
>however, all you do is try to brush her away
>no matter, it came this far, there was no point in turning back now
>it tries a more direct approach, tries to sexily pounce on your chest
>finally, your gaze comes across her
>"This is it! Anon has finally noticed me! Now it's time to make my feelings known..."
>she blushes for a moment and manages to say the words "Anon, I...."
>but before it can even finish the sentence you react in immediate horror
>you callously try to squish the one thing in life that's deeply and madly in love with you
>all it can do is attempt to dodge your flailing limbs as she pleads for you to stop, almost on the verge of tears
>sadly, it falls on deaf ears as you continue your uncaring actions with complete disregard to what she might feel
>soon it realizes that you'll never reciprocate her feelings
>it finally realizes her attempts were futile all along and finally leaves as to not bother you any longer
>even now you continue to search for it with murderous intentions
>now a broken shell of her former self, all it can do is quietly weep in the corner of your room
>”I was a fool for thinking anon would ever love something as ugly as me…. And how could they? I’m a monster in his eyes!”
>with her hopes of a romantic relationship dashed, it has nothing left to live for
You may think you haven’t accomplished your goal you’ve already succeeded in killing it. It may still be breathing, but you've done something far worse, you killed that spider’s spirit. The spider wasn’t the monster anon, it was you all along.
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>>5667994
I am on the verge of tears now. ;__;
How could you be so heartless, anon?
You were already fapping to spiders, why not accept her love for you?
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>>5667994
Christ, anon is a heartless, stone cold bastard....
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>>5667994
>this is literally the first thing in ages on 4chan to make me stop, read and give a fuck
>you may congratulate yourself anon
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>>5667994
I have not expected this feel on an Alternative Hentai board.
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Those feels..... worthy of a screencap....
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>>5668343
was gonna do it anyway but your one is ok.
Don't stop saving anon!
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>>5667994
By the gods, that is the best thing I've seen here in ages.
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>>5667994
God damn it /d/, stop making me feel things
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archive...mods...great thread...yeah.
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>>5667994
holy shit, OP here, your right anon how could i be so cold
i must go to her now
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>>5668742
Remember to bring her a gift. Female spides really like having something to munch on after sex.
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This thread is now bugs.
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>>5668819
Anyone have any pics of a guy fucking a spider? Might make OP more likely to stay with his spiderfu
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Starboy says fap to forced toothbrushing! The upside is that your mouth will always feel clean and spider-free!
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>>5667994
... On the other hand this guy's right. Go confront her and confess your feelings.
If it's a guy spider... Well... One hole or another, right?
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>>5667964
No, brown recluses exists to murder you and will do everything they can to kill you...better make sure you don't have a nest or you're fucked.
Other spider species tend to generally be bros, though.
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>>5669085
>implying a brown recluse waifu isn't just super tsundere for you
>"You jerk! I only bit you because I felt threatened!"
>"I-It's not like I like you or anything!"
>*you flailing on the floor screaming as the bite slowly necroses*
>yfw
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>>5669201
I think a yandere spider waifu would be cuter.
>"I-I saw you with your girlfriend..."
>"I just had to bite her..."
>"I don't like you being with other girls.... I-If I can't have you, then no one can~"
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OP, catch her and keep her.
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This thread has been a journey from start to finish
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consider yourself lucky.. at least you didn't walk face first into a web with the occupant still in it.
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>>5669051
Why the fuck isn't shaft drawing porn already?
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>>5667994
>>5668742
Op here again, thank you for making me come to my senses
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>>5669533
Dubs confirms that true love is yet possible.
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>>5669555
Trips agree.
>then stutemi
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>>5669555
Trips confirmed dubs
True love is bueatiful
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>>5669474
Who's the black giant dick
That draws sex machines for all all the chicks?
SHAFT!
Ya damn right!
Who is the man who draws dick necks
On shoulders, man?
SHAFT!
Can you fap to it?
Who's the catboy who won't cop out
When there's penis all about?
SHAFT!
Right On!
They say this cat Shaft is a bad MILF
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft.
THEN WE CAN FAP TO IT!
He's a hentai lover man
But no one understands his fetish cept his board.
JOHN SHAFT!
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the thought of brown recluse bites has now ruined my night. I'm just going to close 4chan, shut down my computer, throw it in the trash, and never fap again.
Thank you OP.
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>>5669573
Is this pasta? I swear I've seen it in one of the humor threads before. Either way, it's still pretty funny.
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>>5670108
That's so sad, I worked hard on that.
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>>5670426
It's probably just my bad memory though. It might not have even been a /d/ related thing
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The vast majority of brown recluse bites don't cause flesh-eating necrosis. It's just a possibility.
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>>5667994
well...shit
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>>5667994
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>>5671337
Honestly, I always prefer these screencaps without the reactions.
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>>5667994
You all have fallen for a spider poster. Do not believe their lies, they only want to kill you. They do not love, they only exist to bite and hospitalize.
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You're lucky the bitch didn't bite you in spite. I was going to post a wiki link, but apparently that constitutes "advertisement" under article 11 of the 4-chan rulebook.
Anyhow, you don't want to have a relationship with a brown recluse. No matter her advances, she is a femme fatalie. And though her bite might not always be fatal, this is the one relationship where you truly are better safe than sorry.
That said, I wish you best of luck in the restoration of the proper functionality of your boner, and happy fapping ;)
Thread posts: 48
Thread images: 21
Thread images: 21