Art's shit. Might look better if it weren't done by pencil.
Needs to work on timing, brevity is the soul of wit yadda yadda, you get the point. OP's comic could've been pulled off in maybe 6 or 7 panels, not 4 pages.
Had a little chuckle, the pieces are there but he/she needs some more work on putting them together.
This is really interesting and I like how it looks.
Tell him to make more.