Why aren't you a real life superhero?

>>78765013
if your haystack has enough needles in it that you can randomly plunge in your hand and grab one, it's not the kind of needle-riddled haystack you want to be anywhere near.. It's probably just a fucking pile of needles. You probably need to burn it to the ground and pick up the needles with an electromagnet

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>>78765013
What's /co/nrad doing in there?

>>78765374
and where's that one guy? the one I should recognize?

>>78765013
Who is the semen demon on the left?

>>78765390
What that Phoenix dude who got stabbed?

>>78765390

the drunkard master legend?

>>78765013
Because I can't walk
So I just lurk 4chan all day until cyborg technology exists

>>78765565
yeah that sounds right
i didnt know he got stabbed. that's what happens. there's a reason it takes an entire interconected police force to handle a city. A superhero is like an immune system composed of just one big leukocyte.

>>78765013
I'm pretty sure if you try this you have a good chance of either getting killed, or being forced to suck a drug dealer's dick at gunpoint.

I am. I can manipulate the quantum probability field around my body to ascape certain death
Me:13
The Reaper:0

suck on that

>>78765670
Mostly people who do this just do charity work and neighborhood watch. If they see anything really bad, they alert the police immediately. Unless it's Phoenix Jones.

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>>78765627
A mild mannered MMA fighter who goes by Beware the Flattop by day, but by night he is Phoenix Jones! ... And has been stabbed, shot and got his nose broken over his superheroing carreer.

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>tfw not NYI master race

>>78765814
any vids or pics of this?

>that one asshole who wears a cape
>he trips over it and then gets shot

>>78765013
>only one woman in the group, costume shows off her tits.

Oh you know she's just doing it for the attention.

>>78765013

Who says I am not?

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>>78766341

Quiet nightbug

But how would a real superhero operate... and to what end?

You could just about believe the Punisher could be real and not even for very long...

>>78765930

No shit, so are the dudes.

>>78765013
>all those edgy designs
They're doing it wrong

>>78766361
>Oakland
Holy shit! How is he ali
>keep reading
Okay that makes sense

>>78765013
>not being a villain
https://vimeo.com/4637741

>>78765814
didn't he taze a pregnant girl a couple of years ago? Or pepper spray her?

>>78766437
the baby was guilty by association

>"Super Vaclav" is a promotional figure for a Czech webhosting company. He purports to combat antisocial behavior of Prague citizens, by pouring buckets of water on individuals smoking near public transport stops. He also assaults dog owners with their own animal's excrement if it is left behind on a lawn.

Oh boy...

Are there any actual masked vigilantes? I'm not talking about these idiots who wanna be on TV promoting helping drunk chicks get to their cars. I'm talking about somebody crazy, tough, and lucky enough to actually have survived, at least for awhile, actual costumed crimefighting.

>>78766539
I could imagine it happening in older days, but I don't think anyone has ever done it successfully and lived.

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>>78766539

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real-life_superhero

It's all kind of tragic.

Heroes dont do anything without villains and reality doesn't have villains. Unless you live near actual organized crime there's no point. And even then you would have to train all your fucking life to actually accomplish anything.

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>>78766614

>>78766539
if anyone capable actually tried vigilantism(like a cop or soldier) they probably wouldn't dress up in a costume and advertise their behavior

>>78766658
>Unless you live near actual organized crime there's no point

so any major city in the world? jeez bro are you from minnesota or something?

>>78766732
I'd imagine a lot of batmans and punishers out there just keeping quiet.

>>78766809
Or just using their skills to make money instead.

>>78765013
second from the right on the first row is a pretty hardcore dude, does a lot of work helping crack heads get there lives back together and shutting down crack dens, not afraid to get shot to say the least. Can't remember what he goes by though

>>78766809
No there isn't you fucking retard.

>>78766861
Well yeah, the sane ones.

>>78766437
i dont know about that, but IIRC he quit and un-masked after he beat the crap out of a group of dancers who he thought were a street gang or something.

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>>78765013
I like more being a real life villain

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>>78766732
Maybe they would to avoid accidents where witnesses would see too much, just not over the top shit superheroes wear.

>>78766658
Well, some US states permit two people to consent to engage in "mutual combat", so some real life superheroes just wander around at night looking for bro dudes being rowdy and coax them into accepting to fight, all videotape for proof of consent, of course.

>>78766900
We're onto you.

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>>78766962

>>78766969
I've always wanted to be a big crime boss and dress in a super villain costume.
sounds fun.

>>78766900
dude of all the yakuza ninjas in japan for example at some point one of them had to have gone rogue. maybe he was the best there is at what he does.

>>78766993
That's not being a hero. That's being a thrillchasing weirdo.

>>78766900
Micro? How's Frank?

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>>78766732
Dark body armor would probably be more fitting. Something that could limit visibility and keep you from getting stabbed.

Misfits was about right.

>>78767035
>big crime boss and dress in a super villain costume.

Criminal empires run on machismo, once everyone knows you wear a faggy little costume you're as good as whacked.

>>78765013
I thought about becoming one when I went to Uni because of all the time I had, but ended up posting on 4chan and watching anime instead

>>78767081
>Misfits
Fuck, I need to watch this. I've put it off for a year

>>78767089
On that note here's a challenge.
Find me a superhero who isn't in a costume that would make somebody look faggy.
The catch is, no jackets or traditional hats. Has to be something not normally worn in public.

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>>78766969
>real life Joker

>>78767089
This, sadly
No matter how big and powerful a crime boss may be everyone will laugh at him if one day he goes to a meeting dressed a chicken and demanding to be called "The Cock"

>>78767089
depends what kind of racket you're running i imagine, and where.
I imagine in certain markets would be game for it as long as you weren't full silver age about it.

>>78767168
spider-man's back in black costume. basically a ninja with a creepy spider on the chest

>>78767137
I dropped it after the first few seconds.
When I tried it again, I regretted dropping it the first time.

That said, there will be a dip in quality by season 4, but season 3 was a good enough stopping point for the series for me not to really care.

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>>78767035
I've been stealing cars since I was 15, probably my record is around 200 or more, I guess I will need a supervillain name at this point

>>78767089
In Russian mob you can get a catchy (if you're lucky) nickname. That's the closest you get.

>>78767089

>Implying i wouldn't wear the head of a tiger i bought and killed myself in one on one combat

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>>78765013
>>78766969


because i'd be a supervillain....duh.

>>78767184
nah the crime boss couldn't but the head henchman/the dragon could. everybody would be too scared to mock him

>>78767255
>Wheels
>Auto
>AAA
>Overdrive
>Tyrone

>>78767255
>Bragging about stealing cars

>>78767255
are you black by any chance?

>>78767298
I second AAA.

>>78767247
Alright thanks

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>>78766539
He's not masked and I'm pretty sure a lot of folks here have heard about this, but Rodrigo Duterte was the mayor of Davao City in the Philippines and was known to regularly patrol the streets with a motorcycle and an M16, enforcing the law. He may or may not have killed a shit ton of criminals, but he once made a tourist swallow a cigarette when he refused to put it out. So he's kinda like Mike Haggar meets The Punsiher. He's currently running for president.

>>78767233
It would work if you were triad or yakuza I guess.
I don't think the Italian or Jewish mafias would be that impressed, though.

>>78767353
based

>>78767089
You could get close if you're in the yakuza or russian mob, with all the tattoos. Make it a tattoo-suit and just take care of business nude to be exude extra machismo.

You'd have to be a hulking motherfucker to pull that off, though.

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>>78767298
I like wheels, now I need a legman

>>78767305
well, I cant brag about my Yale Med School Diploma

>>78766969
I was a villain in high-school.
Hey, if Silver Age Prankster counts as a supervillain, why can't I?

>>78767089
Actually on second thought if Ronnie Kray could bring his boyfriend to gang meetings you could probably get away with wearing a costume.

>>78766539
There was a dude in Brazil that wore a skull mask, rode a bike and shot gas station robbers
Don't know what happened to him tho

>>78767089
>crime syndicate has a dice/chance motif
>if you fuck up, no matter how large or small the head henchman put a revolver to your head
>the first time it only has one bullet, so you have a decent chance of walking away
>every further mistake adds a bullet
If it was approached like that it could work, since it seems more like a tradition or culture thing.

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>>78767370
for the jewish mafia you just wear a money suit

>>78767444
Aids

>>78767444
>wore a skull mask, rode a bike and shot gas station robbers

Why gas station robbers specifically? Also, when you're dealing with gas-station robbers it seems like a real bad idea to wear a skull mask and ride a bike. You're fucking begging them to pour gas on your head and light it on fire.

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>>78767353
I'd vote for him.

Buford Pusser should also be mentioned on a list of real life Punishers. He inspired a multimedia franchise for a reason.

the only way to properly do it is with firearms and lethal force.

You'll need to be in a state with good self defense laws, like stand your ground. you'll also need money for a lawyer.

lastly, you'll need a plausible reason to be out and have got into a situation requiring you to shoot someone. you can never let anyone even think you were out looking for trouble on purpose.

>>78767444
Neat.

>>78767527
>not having a secret identity
>getting caught by police
its like you're not even trying.

>>78767475
>if you fuck up, no matter how large or small the head henchman put a revolver to your head
>implying any criminal empire survives by killing off its henchmen

The only times they actually kill a henchman is if they're talking to the cops, in which case being suspected of murder is better than the henchman turning in evidence for murder, or if the henchman has fucked up so badly it cost you millions or something. Anything lower than that and it's most definitely not worth the risk of getting caught getting rid of the body.

>>78766539

http://www.cracked.com/article_16612_6-real-life-vigilantes-crazier-than-batman.html

Because i'm not retarded
The only way you can really do some diference is like >>78767527 is saying, and it would still be fucking retarded
If powers were a thing, sure i'd be one, but since we live in boring real life, no

I remember reading a thread on 4chan years ago about this guy who was supposedly a vigilante for a few years. He had some interesting stories.

Although considering this website, he was more than likely a lying neckbeard.

>>78767527
>you'll need a plausible reason to be out and have got into a situation requiring you to shoot someone

Frequent a bar. Easy.

>>78767613
it's why i liked alphas, it had "powers" you could almost believe can be real.
http://alphas.wikia.com/wiki/Hyperadrenal
http://alphas.wikia.com/wiki/Hyperkinetic

>>78765490

That's Nyx. Pretty much the only really hot RLSH. Heard Terrifica was hot but she retired. So Nyx is as close as it gets to Batgirl if you consider Terrifica more of the Wondy.

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>>78765814
>BJJ-fags getting rekt IRL

Typical. Sucker should've picked up some Judo and Savate

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>>78767600
>cracked.com
I ain't touching that shit

>>78765013


Would get drunk and 420 blaze it with Master Legend.

>>78767754
It's worth it

>>78767754
Old cracked was good once.
Why do you think it gets so much hate now?
It's fucking awful now.
I miss that place.

>>78767985
I swear to god now it's like 90% ads and shit instead of articles

>>78767749

I get why UFC has so much BJJ it's great one on one. But as far as superheroics and fighting several people you really need to know another style other than BJJ. Judo, Karate, Greco Wrestling and Boxing would all be based.

>>78768120
anything with kicks except muay thai(because of the knees) is completely useless in real world situations.

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>>78765013

I was thinking about this the other day. Watched the documentary about RLSH abit ago too, kind of sad, funny and inspiring at times.

>I just moved to a new city. Got a high paying job. Have nights free. Kind of want to get jacked. A bunch of dojos all over.

>Go online and see these guys already operate in my city. Maybe I should work alone or become evil for shits?

>>78768221

>real world situations

Being fit and knowing any martial arts is a huge advantage IRL. Most people have no idea how to fight and just throw haymakers or go for a tackle.

No gadgets, no training, no money and no suit.

>>78768223
>just stealing someone else's costume

goddammit kick-ass

>>78768221
>being useless if you lose your arms

>>78768223
>Frenchie
>The Tipper
>Commando Bear
>Copyright Infringement Man

Truly they make evil fear the night.

>>78768284
you need proper fighting distance to throw a kick. most untrained people would just immediately rush you and start grappling

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>>78768312

Yeah I feel like it's an unwritten rule to come up with your own alter ego. Kids like this sort of trigger me. You don't see the big guys pulling this shit.

>haha skyman go back to /tv/

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What level on the spectrum do you have to be for this to be a good idea?

>>78768372

>Short range kicks exist kid. Also you are probably striking with fists, palms, knees and elbows to set up the kick anyway. Attacks don't exist in a vacuum like a video game.

>>78768439
SkyMan is the hero we deserve.

>>78768566
high end means you're almost normal right>

>>78768566
meh, they're just having fun and hanging out. these people are like bendis avengers, they spend more time fucking around the house than they do out "fighting crime"

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>>78768439

A couple of RLSH waifus.

Is this the best case scenario for a /co/mrade?

>I'd slide my dick into her puss

What do their parents think about this?

>>78768439

Golden Tits, Purple Tits and Mary Jane seem legit. Phoenix Jones still looks like a douche. Kind of like Kendo man and Skyman actually. I'd read a comic about those two.

>>78768883
You know she's been passed around HQ a few times.

This only makes my dick harder.

>>78769106
>mary jane

you mean oracle?

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>>78768806

Kendoman could easily beat Skyman one on one random encounter no Skyman prep time.

>>78768883
I can't stop staring at her tits and thighs.

>>78765013
I don't have powers and I'm slightly overweight if that answers your question.

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>>78769192
Mine too

>>78766614
Punisher-tier justice.

Just a reminder, there were under 3,500 lynchings in all of recorded American history, not much more than a thousand of them at the hands of the Klan, and some of them were white.
The majority* of these people were likely guilty of the terrible crimes that got them hanged.

>>78768883
No. my gf isn't a "superhero" but she's got a cosplay fetish. don't get me wrong, the zatanna costume is great and all, but i'm so fucking sick of dressing up as nightwing, it's giving my ass a rash. really gets old after a while, just find a normal girl

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>>78765013
>This thread again
Because I'm not an attention whoring faggot.

>>78767255
If I caught you stealing a car, not even just mine, I would split your skull.
If I saw someone like you caught in the act, I would not call you an ambulance when someone else did the same.
It would be justified.

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>>78769322

I'm in the same boat however once I have more money and work out this year I might meet up with my local RLSH. Probably convince my friend to do it too. Need a Robin.

>>78769439

when was the last thread there wanna be janitor?

>>78769429

Do you have the ass to be Nightwing?

>>78769429

Would it be better or worse if she went out at night and beat people up?

>>78769480
Is that the goth chick from NCIS?

>>78769554
yes

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>>78768883

Tsaf would kick Nyx's ass.

>>78769429
kek

>>78768284
>pulls gun

>>78769554

Yeah she hangs with RLSH bro.

>>78769632
I bet it wouldn't even cost all that much to gather some of these people and have them beat each other up while in costumes for a show.

>>78769680
This is optimum for the average Joe (or anyone with common sense).

I've always lived with homicidal tendencies, before getting treatment I was learning to make home made explosives and mines, also got really good at shooting. Was going to use that in my school, but was found, went to several professionals, got sedated on pills, but the desire to kill people was still there.
One particular person I met, who was also pretty fucked up, convinced me to use that for "good", focus on dirty politicians, low evangelist preachers that rob the ignorant, rapists and other that were not punished by the pathetic laws of my country.
We made a deal that if all our attempts to be normal productive members of society we would go on a spree of cleaning the country.
I know /co/ is filled with moralfags, but I think that would be the closest thing I could ever got to heroism.

Yes, yes, I'm so edgy shadowthehedgehog darklord. I'm only telling this because it's relevant to the discussion. Fuck off

>>78769680

In some states I would imagine RLSH are packing heat.

>>78769493
i'm probably in better shape than most people here just because i'm a swimmer since i was a kid, but no. no one has the ass to be nightwing
>>78769546
dude she's like a pixie girl, if she tried to beat up a 13-year-old she'd get killed

>>78769712

Lex go home.

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>>78769735

Sounds like you are underestimating her potential anon.

>>78765013

Is this team the Outsiders/Defenders, if the HBO Doc group is the JL/Avengers?

>>78769726
>CRAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIN MMMMMYY SKIIIIIN
Good luck with being normal though, and if that does not work, good luck with the killing

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>>78769726
Will you at least be dubbed by Jon St. John?

There are no such things as "superheroes." None of these people have any "super" powers.

There's just cosplay with occasional violence.

>>78769967
>Batman isnt a superhero

>>78765013
because there is no such thing

>>78769712
>they announce a big fighting tournament between the RLSHs
>advertise it as the event of the century
>it's literally just them sitting around playing Injustice for hours while an overenthusiastic cameraman snapzooms every three seconds and public domain superhero music plays in the background

>>78769998
he's a vigilante at best

We need real life villains

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>>78769967

>Doesn't know what a Superhero is.

>>78769459

Kind of want this guy to be my arch nemesis and catch his ass.

>Is Mr. Extreme and Citizen Prime seem like a Rorshach and Nighowl duo? One is crazy and effective and the other is old and kind of tired of it all?

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>>78770127

They are real. We need heroes!

>>78770127
We had Zodiac Killer

>>78769726
>if all our attempts to be normal productive members of society fails

Fix.

>>78769726
My name is not important...

what's important is what I'm gonna do......

pshhhhh.............. kid

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>>78770201
costume needs work

>>78769726
Just make sure to study who you're gonna kill. Don't just go off killing a politician who was only the victim of a smear campaign or one of the preachers who really are trying to make the world better.

It's easy to jump at an accusation. Be careful.

>>78766962
Shit did he wander into West Side Story?

>>78770201
I mean more like people who mess with with the heroes

>>78770187
>rotgut shit probably brewed in Texas

Come on, Superman, at least let him drink with some dignity.

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>>78765013

Just the best RLSH rolling through. Join up! Drink a beer!

>>78769735
You dissapoint me, anon. You're not making justice to the role.

>>78765268
...What?

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>>78770285
10/10

>>78770299
>>78766424
join us

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>>78770285

>>78770325
well really, who can?

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>>78765013

That episode of the RLSH Animated series were Death Head's Moth goes crazy and neutralizes everyone?

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>>78770285

>>78770299
>being a villain just to fuck with some autists

This is why I hate these threads. People here try to discuss larping and vigilantism at the same time.

Zodiac was basically the actual Riddler. You're just wanting an opposing larp club.

>>78770487
So you want to actually go around killing?

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>>78770487

Yeah those kids do need a good beating from a man or women in spandex I imagine.

I kind of want to be Zetaman's Robin for some reason.

>>78770299
Im pretty good at raising insects
I could just throw jars of Velvet ants in their meetings and run away
Throw some fire ant queens in their yards
introduce termites to their homes
>I am 'The Pest'

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>>78770201
>>78770260

Or the Axeman.

>>78770487
>Zodiac was basically the actual Riddler
That made me wonder, who's the supervillain equivalent of H.H Holmes? Arcade?

I can become invisible, but only when no one is looking at me

>>78770487
IIRC most of them just do charity type stuff, the costumes are just to make it more fun for them.
I think it could be fun and good for all as long as nobody takes it too seriously

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>>78770322

I would drink a free bottle of Whiskey from Superman. Especially if I was Sixpack who probably should have been arrested instead.

>>78770591
No. I just like hearing stories, anon, and larping doesn't really have the same oomph as some nut in a supervillain costume killing people.

>>78765593
>oracle

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>>78770086

STAND defeats everyone because she brings a PET and RANGED to the fight.

>>78765756
so basically like responsible concealed carry. okay

>>78770619

Honestly, there's quite a few here who could probably fit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Unidentified_serial_killers

Honorable Mention: http://www.crimezzz.net/serialkillers/C/CALIFORNIA_ASTROLOGY_murders.php

Why the fuck is Zoom there?

>>78765814
yeah that's the one
man you'd think with his nose-protecting costume (weird mouth hole shape that he could have armored his nose

>>78770458

Love the episode where Geist cucks DC Guardian and beats the shit out of Master Legend in front of everyone.

Reminder that there was a real life Supervillain to stand up against Phoneix Jones.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivkzosgyx-U

I'm a RLSH and some nights a vigilante. I operate out of Sydney, Australia. Guns are much less common here. Ask me anything.

>>78770619
>That night all of New Orleans' dance halls were filled to capacity, and professional and amateur bands played jazz at parties at hundreds of houses around town. There were no murders that night.[5]

Just imagine being out on that night, man. Fear of dying keeping you amped, while the whole town is jazzing it up. Best night out ever.

Also kind of makes me think the letter was just written by some jazz-band wanting a gig.

>>78770765
Eh, that's not really the same is it?
It's not like I could realistically hack into a mob boss's computer to make it explode in his face

>>78770922

Do you work alone or with a group?
What crimes have you stopped?
Post a picture of your uniform/costume?
Have you ever fought/eaten a Roo?

>>78765490
SHE'S TAKEN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPTCJqPAhFc

>You will never be a chubster superhero
>You will never whiteknight online for a qt superheroine
>You'll never fucking marry her

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>>78767749
>>78768120
1. BJJ is a top tier MA

2. When it comes to fighting crime using what police use is best. Guns, baton, taser, pepper spray ect. Only an idiot would fight possibly armed criminals with their bare hands, especially if you're out numbered.

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>>78770798
>>78769632

Nyx would destroy them.

>in bed

>>78765627
Vigilantism is more of a one-crime-at-a-time business.
A mugging here, an attempted rape there.
Jones actually managed to pull it off without dying, and has some pretty dank scars to show for it. He even hung up his cape fucking up some gay-ass street dancers. Gotta respect that.

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>>78770922
Are you this guy?

>>78770922
Shit are you that purple-dressed guy I've heard rumors about? The guy who'd beat the fuck out of people?

>>78770962
You just need to get really good at searching Wikipedia and then team up with some muscle.

>>78771081
>helmet wings aren't shaped like boomerangs

GOD DAMN IT WOULD BE PERFECT

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>>78771081

I'd have a beer with Cap Australia.

>>78770968
Alone. There's no real groups here just a few individuals.

My outfit is just a set of black clothes with extra padding on the arms and chest to protect from knives/bottles.

My nights consist of hanging outside bars and clubs and near train stations. Drunken assault leading to murder is common, so is rape. Breaking up fights, chasing off predators, getting the shit kicked out of me by 3 huge black guys. Typical.

We eat kangaroo all the time.

>>78770922
When do you think somebody is going to get tired of your shit and just beat the ever loving fuck out of you?

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>>78770885

I bet even the Viper has done more good than that loud mouth Phoenix Jones.

>>78771136
I don't like depending of other people

>>78770922
Any notable or memorable wins? Losses?

>>78770938

>Just imagine being out on that night, man. Fear of dying keeping you amped, while the whole town is jazzing it up. Best night out ever.

Axeman just wanted everyone to get out of the funk of WWI.

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>>78771201

That's cool. I think having a partner/buddy system would be good. I would get more armor to protect yourself man! Sounds like you have done alot of good. What does Roo taste like? Does anyone know your a RLSH or is it very Hush Hush? Do people know about you/who you are?

>Black Arrow Reporting IN

>>78771201
There are black people in Australia?

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>>78771381

>>78771381

Aborigines you pleb

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>Walk out of Bar
>Had a good night, met lotsa nice people
>Some guy in a Costume shows up as I'm trying to find the key to my car
>Asks if I've been drinking
>"No, I've take medication that will fuck my shit up if I drink an-"
>Costumed mad man slams my fucking skull into my goddamn car
>He tells me cursing is against the law
>Starts beating the shit out of me
>Barley dial 911 in time
>Cops come while he's trying to commandeer my car for his whateverhisstuidnameis-mobile
>Tells them to back off or he'll use his heat vision to kill them all
>He gets tazed
>Paramedics told me that I'm his 4th victim in 2 years
>Inform the police I do plan on pressing charges
>All while Costumed man is screaming that I'm using my psychic powers to turn them all against him

>>78771202
Man drinks alcohol. Man feels slighted. Man grabs bottle. Man smashes bottle over man who slighted him. Fighting ensues. Police are called. ETA 10-20 minutes. One or both of these men can die in this timeframe. I'm outside, I deescalate the situation with or without force. Men live another day.

I've been beaten up, smashed with bottles and bats, broken bones. It sucks. But its worth it in my opinion.

>>78771043

Holy shit she his hotter than Black Widow and does Black Widow shit in real life?

>>78770922
How many roos have you fought?

>>78765013
Because I'm fat, lazy, live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, and would rather shitpost on 4chan.

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>>78771493

Cum move to the big city anon so I can find you and beat the shit out of you!

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>>78771433
kek

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>>78771460
>With out me bouncers would just do their fucking jobs
>LOOK AT ME
>IM THE HERO LOOK AT ME
Wow, what a faggot.

>>78766614
OMG, GHOSTS, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

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>>78771433

mfw i do have psychic powers and put the "hero" away for years

>>78771372
How do you even protect your identity in that?

Not one got shot or stabbed? What have they done that doesn't amount to helping grandmas cross the street? Why not become a cop? Or fireman. Or even a doctor...

>>78771372
My mother knows. She's not keen on the idea. I have a friend I can call to pick me up if I'm dying in the street, he knows too. That's all though. I try not to attract attention because once the media gets ahold of me the word gets out and people just WANT to fuck with you / beat the shit out of you. Kangaroo tastes like gamey meat, a lot of people dislike it. I'm with you all on these autsitic attention seeking fucks, bless their well meaning hearts. They're not stopping any real crime. If I can save a few lives a week, I'm happy. Even if its not quantifiable.

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>>78771008

>TAKEN

FedoraLord bangs Nyx. Jesus christ.

>>78771713
>Why not become a cop? Or fireman. Or even a doctor...

Those need actual degrees.

>>78771641
I AM a bouncer, that's how I got started with this shit. Our ability to stop drunken idiots from killing each other ends at the door to the club. Someone across the street getting beaten to death? Better not get involved, just shut the door and call the police. Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. I'm not a hero, just a frustrated guy sick of watching young men get killed when its preventable. What kind of man would I be if I could prevent it but didn't out of fear?

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>>78771729

If I lived in Ausland I'd join up with you man. It sucks doing shit alone. Be safer with some back up find a Partner!

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>>78771729

Stay safe hero. The fight is thankless and never-ending but never stop believing in hope and capacity for good in mankind.

>>78771201
>My outfit is just a set of black clothes with extra padding on the arms and chest
Huh. I wonder if I've ever seen you.

Would you say the lockout laws have made things better or worse?

People who dress up and pretend to be superheroes are the most narcissistic douchebags I can imagine. If you really want to good for the community, you'd be a cop, a firefighter, a social worker, or a doctor. You wouldn't peacock around in a colorful costume for attention.

>>78771811
>With great power comes great responsibility

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>>78771844
I like you

you're not batman...you'll never be batman. do something constructive with your life

>>78771844
Shit, anon, sounds like you've got it down. You stick to your area and deescalate shit.

Have you gotten into any legal trouble?

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>>78771433
>Six Months later
>Another Long day working, but ready to go hom
>Get to parkinglot
>Ohshitit'sthecostomedman
>pull out my phone and dial 911
>Costumed man slaps phone from my hand
>Grabs me by the lapels and tells me he needs my help
>Follow him to his... Costumed Man-Mobile...
>Pulls out a stripper who he's obviously beat
>Tells me he needs me to use my psychic powers to get in her head so that he can find the location of her hideout
>About to ask him what the fuck he's done
>Punches my shit
>Touch hand to forehead and start making 'whooo'ing sounds like I'm psychic
>He seems calmer
>Tell him that her mental defenses are almost impenetrable... almost
>Tell him to give me 15 minutes max
>He nods
>7 minutes pass
>Cops show up because my phone got to 911 but no one responded
>thankyousweetgps
>Costumed man tries to use me as a shield
>Both of us get tazed
>Police are trying to get him in the car while I'm recovering
>He's screaming "Save me Psychic Man!" the entire time.

>>78771844
Alright, you won me over.

How long have you been at this, and has it gotten easier over time?

Anybody have the screencap about the one-eyed musketeer?
That guy was fuckin based.

>>78772072
Go to bed Frank Miller

>>78769883
They get the guy on the left to dress and act like a flaming faggot and intervene when people try to beat him up

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>>78772258

>>78771201
That's great, Superanon.

Remember that the life of a superhero might be a lonely one, filled with hardship and danger. The few who answer the call must leave comfort, safety, and often sanity behind. Someone's gotta stand the heat and stay in the kitchen. Someone's gotta don the oven mitts of all that's right and strangle the red-hot throat of all that's wrong.

Where can I find a hot super heroine so I can rap... I mean... shoot her in the spine?

>>78771713

It's not even that. Those are all jobs. The point isn't to stand in for a cop, fireman, or doctor, it's to be active in the community and help out.

>>78765814
he has an enlightening anecdote about the time he got shot
>on patrol
>see thug trying to break into a car
>walk up to him in costume and tell him hes under a citizens arrest
>bad guy pulls out a revolver
>our hero dives behind cover
>bad guy fires six shots at the car hes hiding behind
>pheonix realizes the bad guy is out of ammo
>runs out of cover and charges at him
>bad guy shoots him in the chest twice
>"and that was the day that I learned that some revolvers can hold 8 bullets"

>>78771844
>I AM a bouncer
> I'm not a hero
Yes. That shit's tight.

>>78770922
>I'm a RLSH
No. That shit's gay.

>>78771844
what do you do while you wait for crime to happen?
do you bring cards or something?

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>>78771844

Underrated post.

>>78772469
He sounds like more of a superhero than the faggots in OP.

Why did they take the name "Real Life Supehero"? Gives the actual vigilantes who stop shit that the cops can't get to a bad name.

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>>78772592

Honestly half of the guys in OPs pic are legit. The other half are little whiny bitches. Kind of like fictional heroes if you think about it. Watch the Hbo doc if you haven't seen it.

>>78772686
I'll give it a look.
I just assumed that they were all just charity people who did small shit while costumed.

Would plow the everloving shit out of Nyx.

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>>78772453
>"and that was the day that I learned that some revolvers can hold 8 bullets"

>>78770458

Love the episode where DC Guardian reveals he is CIA and turns everyone in to the government.

>>78766539

There's a chick in Juarez, Mexico (complete shithole city run by the cartels where hundreds of women get murdered every year) who got tired of bus drivers raping women so puts on a ski-mask and just walks onto busses and executes a driver she's heard has been raping passengers. She left a note saying either the police can stop the rapes or she will. Of course the police put undercover agents on buses to try and catch her and don't give a shit about the violence against women epidemic in the city.

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>>78772730

A good portion have stopped violent crimes, know martial arts and wear somewhat functional uniforms. All of them do charity stuff but the shitty ones are often crazy and sad. The community is pretty half and half. That aussie hero seems legit btw

>>78766962

That went to court and it was proven on camera they were fighting.

He also didn't quit. He's gotten into a few fights on camera, but he stopped being a media thing and just became some dude doing whatever it is he does.

>>78770299

That's actually a real thing, they are basically anti-fans who harass RLSHs on facebook and call the cops on them and shit, it's kind of funny.

Although there was a guy who took the bants too far and called himself firebug and actually did burn down an empty building, unsurprisingly in real life if you run around committing crimes in a bright red costume you get arrested quite fast.

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>>78772758
>take s off his costume
>this underneath

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>>78772258
>After incident, need to go to therapy.
>It's been two years since the stripper incident
>Starting to get over my fear of people in costumes
>Able to go through Halloween without freaking out.
>Therapist says I made a lot of progress and that after one more session, I'll have the coping skills to live with all this.
>Leave Thearpist's office
>Get into Car
>Gun to head
>"Drive Psychic Man"
>ohshitthatvoice
>Takes me to his... secret base
>His mom's house
>Mom bakes excellent Brownies
>Takes me to the basement
>Shows me a dead nun
>Start to freak out before he holds the gun to my head again
>Tells me that he's going to have me whip people's memory of the nun and erase her existence
>okaymanilldowhatever
>Drives to the local cathedral
>Wednesday mass
>Do the 'whooo' thing
>Notice that parking is awful here
>Point out to him that she might have some traffic tickets, and if they find that, they might figure out she existed and is now dead
>Says that's stupid
>10 minutes later, regurgitates it back to me
>oh yes sir, that sounds like a wonderful idea
>Tells me to make him seem invisible with my powers
>Taps his... helmet?
>Tells me that he's got alluminium foil and that my tricks won't work on him.
>Walk straight into police station
>12 seconds later, Mexican stand off
>Shitting pants
>Costumed man tells me he's going to kill my shit for betraying him
>His phone rings
>It's his mom, he's got to take this
>During the brief moment his gun's not pointed at me, police open fire
>Still take one to the shoulder
>He's gurgling blood
>Says I'm a worthy adversary and straight up dies.

>>78770127
Floridaman.

>>78772885
how the fuck is anybody suppose to take these people seriously when they look like this?

>>78772885
Kind of sad that the shitty ones are also fucking up the good ones' reputations.

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>>78772964

>>78770127
you have Trump, Rupert Murdoch, the Daesh, Tony Abbott, Jim Jong-Un, and Putin is sort of a Namor figure.

>>78772982

It is actually useful since it simply defuses most aggressive situations by being so weird and funny. It's like what Darren Brown (british stage hypnotist) says is the most useful thing to say when being assaulted is something completely unrelated and bizarre like "my garden fence is 4 feet tall!" because there's a high chance it'll cause your attacker to have to stop to think about it and end up just being confused and switch him out of feeling aggressive.

>>78765013
>You're not allowed to assault people

Then what's the point? I wanna assault thugs, get accused of racial profiling and make people scared for their safttey like Batman and Spider-Man

>>78773156
>Putin
>Not a Dr Doom figure

He'll turn the world into utopia.

>>78771113
Glad to see someone else remembers Damage.

>>78769726
Wow you're a real live faggot.

>>78773428
Haven't looked him up in a long time. Whatever happened to him?

>>78773462
>tripfag
>calling anyone a faggot
>ever

>>78773175
yeah you trying to justify the absolute ridiculous attire that these people CHOOSE to wear while "crime fighting" doesn't make them any more likely to accomplish anything other than be a minor annoyance. These people want attention, period.

>>78773503
he's not wrong though

>>78773511

You're generalizing. At least come up with a valid argument if you're gonna post.

For a first-year creative non-fiction class, we had to write an essay on something we hate. I wrote about real-life superheroes. Fuck those guys.

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>>78773622

Hating people who stop crimes and do charity work.

Le edgy university student meme

>Die

>>78773503
He's using his faggotdar.

>>78773622
That's actually a really good way to get kids interested in their subject. I could write for days about things I hate.

>>78773693
>no
>has literally taken dick and enjoyed it

You're not fooling anybody, John.

>>78773693
>stop crimes
lol no. Like 3 of them could even beat someone in a fight.
>charity work
I have nothing against this. I have a problem with people who HAVE to do it in costume to ensure that they get recognition for it. It kind of defeats the purpose of doing something good.

>>78773779
It defeats the purpose of the motivation behind doing something good. The good deed still happens.

Apparently I missed the event when Phoenix Jones and Purple Reign broke up. Why did it happen though? Storytime please.

>>78773156
>Trump
>Not the hero America needs

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>>78766962
He beat up the lolicatgirl guys?

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>>78772956

CIA's kid bro FBI shows up and pretends to be him for a year that takes place in one day. God love this cartoon.

>>78773820
>abloo

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>>78771008
>Fucking Fedora Lord lands hot bitch
>I'm still here jacking off to 2d porn
what is this bullshit, you fuckers lied to me

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>>78773836
>The Trump will never have to fight The Clitinator on top of Trump Tower on the Eve of the Election.
I'd give my last remaining good ball to see this happen...

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>>78773857

Is there anything Mr. Extreme and Master Legend can't do? Fuck DC Guardian though he ruins most episodes with his PSA Afterschool Special BS!

>>78773761
Just because you're bi it doesn't mean you're a faggot, faggot.

>>78773899
Fucking weird. I bought an official Indiana Jones fedora and got laid.
Stopped wearing it and haven't had sex since.

>>78773857
>there will never be a well drawn RLSH comic book

>>78773914
>Trump holds the battered and broken Shrillary above his head
>Hillary... you're fired
>Trump throws her into the dark abyss below
Me too anon, me too

>>78773511

I'm getting this from an interview with Phoenix Jones, he says that's what happens, aggressive people see the silly costume approaching and are just left bewildered. If you were wearing plainclothes or SWAT armor or whatever you would be much more likely to alarm them and get attacked. These guys aren't wanting to fight since they know they might get killed irl, they'd rather just calm a street fight down or get a crowd of scumbags to disperse peacefully.

>>78773958
Keep telling yourself that, faggot.

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>>78773977

Never say never anon.

>>78773608
generalizing? nobody that does this does it for the reasons they should be doing it for...none of them. If they did, they wouldn't even have a superhero name or their shitty flashy costumes...fuck we wouldn't even know anything about them.

Instead, they go to message boards and talk about themselves and what they do. What their name is. It's just one big jerk circle. And i'm suppose to take these people with some kind of credibility for playing dress-up and pretend? Fuck off.

>>78773914
>>78773997
Yakuza 6: Erection Day

>>78774009
Then they need to stop calling themselves superheroes...there's already a title for people like that. They're called clowns.

>>78769726

You'd have to be really careful on who your victims are, since there's so much propaganda against politicians, actual criminals framing other people for their financial crimes, false accusations from people with a grudge, ect.

What I would do is go after people who were 1. individuals since realistically you are not going to be able to kill members of organized crime or governments since they have good physical and operational security 2. are indefensibly evil and killed people just for fun so you never think twice about if they deserve to die 3. people who have already been found guilty in a court of law so the judgement and evidence gathering is not all depending on you 4. got released over some bullshit technicality so they never faced even mainstream justice.

People like Issei Sagawa or Karla Homolka, find fuckers like that and go full Frank Castle on them and maybe it'll make the next would-be serial killer or incompetent judge think twice.

>>78774018
Oh I'm a faggot, but I'm straight.

Being a faggot simply isn't about sexual preferences. It's about a state of being a little faggot.

>>78773156
>Trump
>Villain
Choose one

>>78774113

Clowns don't usually stop crimes.

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>>78774113
>>78774045

Lex go home.

>>78774045
>nobody that does this does it for the reasons they should be doing it for
>none of them

That's literally a generalization. I'll grant you that a lot of these people are just doing it for attention, but I'd have to be a complete fucking idiot to assume that this applied to every single person, without even one exception, who does this shit.

>>78774154
and super heroes normally have super powers

>>78766900
Frank Castle/Bruce Wayne pls go

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>>78774151

>MFW Trump makes a reality show where 3 Superheroes compete in business and martial arts to get a shot at a million doll hairs and a shot at Trump's Daughter in the ring.

>The ring of her ass hole

>>78767353
Truly the sons of Spain

Lies he's a fucking 1984 fascist openly condoning lynching and executing drug users

>>78774221

Like half do.

>Half of the RLSH are shit and the other Half are actual badasses. Hmm

Well, there is such a thing as citizen's arrest - basically, if you see someone performing a major crime (no misdemeanors) then you can legally and physically detain them. I've seen people knock down and sit on a shoplifter until the cops arrived - to prevent them from running further.

Also, if the criminal uses any type of weapon or attempts to assault - then you can legally defend yourself (others too) and legally beat the shit out of them.

So really, there is no need for costumed vigilantism. All you need to be is a decent human being
>#notallheroeswearcaps

>>78773779
>I have a problem with people who HAVE to do it in costume to ensure that they get recognition for it.
>in costume
>recognition
They're in costume, they're not getting recognition for it, only their fake alter ego is.
You're a special kind of retarded.

>>78774221
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_superheroes_and_villains_without_superpowers

This meme needs to stop.

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>>78773977

That comic where DC Guardian and Blade fight off Vampires that want to drink CIA's blood.

>>78774406
Yeah? and all those fictional characters all live in world where nobody really dies, magic exists, and intergalactic travel can happen instantaneously...what's your point?

>>78774485
So you deny that non-powered superheroes are common in comics?
Because you'd be wrong.

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>>78773899

>MFW becoming a Superhero is a legit way to get laid.

>>78774607
Time to get swole and beat up drunk assholes.

>>78774576
I deny what defies a super hero in the real world...not in comic books when ordinary people can do anything.

But you're right anon...let's say somebody here decides to pretend they're batman and jump rooftop to rooftop with nothing but a grappling hook. Surely they would NEVER fall to their death or anything would they?

>>78766539

Abu Azrael.

>>78774652

I would go with a female Robin or maybe my best friend Bucky type situation. Probably America theme or Space hero. Not into noir/fedora or Animal theme heroes too much.

>>78774665
You seem to be changing the subject in order to win an argument I'm not even having.

I was just pointing out that non-powered superheroes are incredibly common even in medium that spawned the genre.

In response to the argument you're doing a shit job at making, I'll have to point out that you're also putting things to unnecessary extremes. Not one RLSH who's been in a fight in an attempt to deescalate a situation has ever had the need to jump from rooftop to rooftop in order to do so, at least not to my knowledge. Street crime typically happens on the streets.

>>78773958

John fucked a few dudes in the 80s.

Thats being a bi. Thats being being a 20 something on drugs.

Its also how you get aids

>>78773899
You just need to know that's some pretty weird people out there anon.

I personally love weird people.

>>78774799
Considering what Fedoralord got I wouldn't entirely go against fedora/noir, but that's just my desperation talking.

>>78770330
He was trying to be deep and clever, but his reddit took over.

>>78765268
Gary Busey on RLSH's.

>>78767089
The Knights Templar disagree

>>78774838
It's not an argument, it's somebody calling somebody else out on their bullshit when they say real life superheroes exist when they really don't. Regardless of circumstances.

I made the rooftop to rooftop jumping comment to make my point. That list of comic book characters that was posted? They can be considered super heroes because they are fictional characters that can literally do anything if it's written they can. In the real world? They can't. So calling them super heroes is absurd.

>>78767172
now with 300% more kid touching!