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Thread images: 63
Anonymous
Choose your own superpower adventure thread thing 2014-12-07 20:46:34 Post No. 67804149
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Choose your own superpower adventure thread thing 2014-12-07 20:46:34 Post No. 67804149
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Choose your own superpower adventure thread thing
Anonymous
2014-12-07 20:46:34
Post No. 67804149
[Report]
This is you.
You are a pretty average person with no overwhelmingly notable attributes or anything that makes you exceedingly special.
That is about to change.
>>
One day you were out on a jog, because that is a thing you do.
Then you fell into the city's local toxic waste dump, because those are things that absolutely exist, and you're also sort of an idiot.
>>
You miraculously didn't die or even get injured from the 50 foot fall, and didn't end up with any immediately obvious deformities to your person!
Success!
Also you got super powers.
Post ending in 7 decides what powers.
>>
Ability to communicate with midgets telepathically
>>
I want the abilty to stop time atvwill. Think saved by tje bell but on a grander scale
>>
The power to incredibly more average than anyone has ever been.
>>
>>67804195
The ability to cure cancer
>>
The ability to summon the EPA at will
>>
>>67804247
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
>>
The ability to control pastries
>>
>>67804247
well fuck.
>>
>>67804247
Holy shit look at you go.
You are being supernaturally average.
This is the most spectacular moment of your life.
Post ending in 7 decides what you do with your newfound incredible power.
>>
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>>67804247
>The power to incredibly more average than anyone has ever been
>>
>>67804315
Enter a talent show
>>
attempt to make a sidekick out of a feral opossum.
>>
>>67804315
Get a modeling job
>>
>>67804315
Get an average looking girlfriend.
Not ugly, but not too hot either.
>>
You decide to go to the white house and demand that you become president
>>
>>67804315
I go on /r9k/ and feel insecure about my height and dick size.
>>
>>67804315
Get a job
>>
>>67804315
Become person man, the most boring superhero in history
>>
You fuck her right in the pussy
>>
assault the mailman
>>
>>67804364
Have you been paying attention? He has totally average height an dick. He's not proud per say but not enough to stress over either.
>>
>>67804315
star comiting crimes, you are so average they are never going to found you
>>
>>67804377
Heh.
>>
>>67804377
i like where this is going.
>>
>>67804377
Jesus christ this dude is boring
I love it
>>
>>67804377
I think I see where this is going
>>
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>>67804377
I have a neutral feeling about this thread.
>>
>>67804377
Golly-gee your life is going places, that's for damn sure.
You take up the mantle of Person Man.
Look at how happy you are about this. Man you are psyched.
Suddenly, you hear about a crime on a nearby radio with your completely average hearing.
Post ending in 7 decides the crime.
>>
You ma,e sonic 06 look great
>>
>>67804315
Get cancer.
>>
>>67804494
Someone is hitting people on the head with a frying pan.
>>
>>67804494
Jaywalking!
>>
>>67804494
Women in a brothel are starving because no men have come in to pay them for sex so they can't buy bread.
Your penis is perfectly average and perfect for them.
>>
>>67804494
Hit on the head with a frying pan
>>
>>67804494
Tax evasion.
>>
>>67804494
Rape
>>
>>67804494
grab a gun like an average guy
>>
>>67804494
Stepping on grass when the sign clearly says not to.
>>
decide to get taco bell this is what the police are here for.
>>
>>67804494
Jaywalking
>>
>>67804394
that's the point, anon. /r9k/ hypes that shit so hard, even the average feel inadequate.
I'd include the screencap of a thread where a guy bought shoes with lifts even though he's 6 feet tall, but the archive is down.
>>
>>67804494
Angry moderators on an image board asking you to stop even though this is /co/ related is somewhat illegal.
>>
>>67804494
Illegally downloading music.
>>
>>67804494
Call someone better qualified. Then lock your door and go spend the rest of the day on the internet.
>>
>>67804494
Someone kidnapped Jontron
>>
>>67804494
Clown rape
>>
>>67804494
what are you waiting? go for itat average speed
>>
>>67804494
Welfare fraud.
>>
>>67804494
Public Intoxication
>>
>>67804494
>>67804607
That's not a crime wtf
>>
>>67804607
What's the crime??
>>
>>67804494
What they call music nowadays, that's the crime!
>>
>>67804494
Someone is shitposting on the internet
>>
>>67804494
Tweet about the crime telling how someone should do something
>>
Cyber bullying
>>
>>67804607
>>67804617
Huehuehue
>>
>>67804494
Not getting 7s
>>67804637
>>67804637
>>67804637
>>
>>67804494
Illegal Parking.
>>
>>67804637
THIS ISN'T ILLEGAL.
>>
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>>67804637
YES!
>>
>>67804637
An average insignificant crime for an average insignificant hero...
God damn now I want a person man comic to be a thing.
>>
>>67804664
It is in the UK
>>
>>67804664
What are you talking about? Cyber bullying is literally rape.
>>
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>>67804494
Get barman
>>
>>67804671
They Might Be Giants may sue.
May, depends on how average Person man is.
>>
>>67804669
I was about to go to sleep, but now I will have to stay here until this ends. Fuck you OP
>>
>>67804607
Well, looks like your completely average hearing kept you from completely hearing about the crime in progress.
But you heard the location! So you start to job there at a completely average pace.
You are quick as lightning. Average lightning. That's really slow. Whoosh.
I'm sure you'll figure out the crime when you get to the scene of it.
The crime scene is about a mile away. Post ending in 7 says what you find when you get there in roughly 8 minutes.
>>
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>>67804710
>>
>>67804671
>the most average, mundane comic about the most average mundane person doing the most average mundane thingsso you can feel better at being a complete fuck up in life. At least, you'll think, that your life is better but in reality, he's doing more than you'd ever do in a lifetime.
>>
>>67804494
inner city youth loitering about.
>>
>>67804195
spawning clones
>>
>>67804607
>>67804637
both these at the same time
>>
>>67804732
Rolling again for welfare fraud.Being committed by bears.
>>
>>67804732
theres no crime, they are gone
>>
>>67804732
14 year old boy on 4chan.
>>
IT WAS MEEEEEEE ALLL ALONG BARRYYYYYY!!!!!!!
REVERSE FLASH THREAD!
YOU CANT STOP THE HYPE
>>
>>67804737
>I got the get but I didn't post the quote
well fuck.
This post doesn't count.
>>
>>67804732
a dead body
>>67804747
ignore this, was responding to previous choice
>>
>>67804778
It's your nemesis, ManPerson!
>>
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>>67804732
Angry neckbeard harassing SJWs on twitter
>>
>>67804732
Some dude shitpostng on an imageboard.
>>
>>67804737
This is what you find when you get to the crime.
>>
brits having unlawful sex
>>
>>67804732
I giant Man Sized Fedora.
>>
>>67804757
That's too out there for this grounded story.
>>
>>67804757
STFU randumb, the crime is cyberbullying
>>
>>67804817
Damn, so close!
>>
>>67804827
Fuck you and your boring ass meme.
>>
>>67804847
That's why it's perfect.
>>
So, is bizarro person man going to be the most interesting guy ever?
>>
>>67804870
There's nothing opposite of something in the middle.
>>
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>>67804732
>>
>>67804870
bizarro person man is a black, female reboot
>>
>>67804915
So is bizarro interesting but also boring?
Like, he wears fur made out of dragons, but the dragons are grey and dull?
>>
>>67804757
Wow got it in the first response.
Looks like you guys had to make up for taking so long last time.
You finally arrive and find a nondescript nightclub.
You'd never heard of this one before, but you're sure this is the place!
Post 7 decides how you enter to confront your new-found system cheating nemisiseseseseses.
>>
>>67804997
Call the IRS.
>>
>>67804997
You try to kick down the door but realize the door is actually pretty solid so you just open it and walk in.
>>
>>67804997
Kindly tell them to stop
>>
>>67805017
Oh dang, 2 in a row. I'll stop making suggestions now...
>>
>>67805017
ding ding ding, we have a winner
>>
>>67805017
You fucker
>>
>>67805073
Yeah, get outta here.
>>
>>67805017
And thus we discover one of person man's powers, the power to make phone calls!
>>
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>>67805017
God dammit
>>
>>67805017
The god of numbers have a really good sense of humor
>>
>>67805017
Ever the responsible citizen, you call into the IRS tip line on your reasonably prices and average smart phone with a completely acceptable data limit.
They inform you that they already know about the bears commiting fraud, and will take care of it.
You use your average detective skills to figure out that that makes sense since you heard about it on the radio.
Mission success! You sure pulled that off.
What do you do next? Post 7 decides.
>>
>>67805210
Get a job.
>>
>>67805210
Go to normal work.
>>
>>67805210
Find bitches and whores
>>
>>67805237
KILL YOURSELF OH MY FUCKING GODDD I AM SO ANGRYYYYYYY >::::::::::::(((((((((((((((
>>
>>67805237
What the fuck is with the sevens now
>>
>>67805210
You go get averagely drunk off of mouth wash which in turn gives you powers of being minty fresh
>>
>>67805210
>Don't even get to see the bears
Wonderful.
>>
>>67805210
The hero Gotham deserves
>>
>>67805210
Post about it on your average social media site
>>
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>>67805237
>>
Why is something about an average man living an average life with absolutely nothing interesting happening to him or around him so entertaining?
>>
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>>67805282
>>
>>67805333Because it's more than you'd ever do in your life, Anon.
>>
>>67805237
What kind of sorcery is this thread ?
>>
>>67805237
Wow. You pick up a newspaper from the nearby newspaper stand disperser thing whatever those are called.
You flip through it to the classified sections. Lotts really EXCITING options!
Sure is good you keep your resume on you at all times.
Post ending in 7 decides what job you apply for first.
>>
>>67805437
Brothel's Sex Tester.
>>
>>67805437
Janitor
>>
>>67805437
The box factory
>>
>>67805437
fast food joint janitor
>>
>>67805437
4chan Mod
>>
>>67805437
Cashier.
>>
>>67805437
Super powered crime fighter.
>>
>>67805437
professional wrestler.
use tons of steroids to be qualified.
>>
>>67805437
Conflict resolution specialist
>>
Anal cow
>>
>>
>>67805437
Animator.
>>
>>67805507
What in the flying fuck is an anal cow?
>>
>>67805497
But anon,that's far too interesting and exciting for person man
>>
>>67805437
Accountant for Dick Van Dyke's.
>>
>>67805497
C-C-Combo breakerbut seriously, this is not fun, i want to see more boring shit
>>
>>67805497
You Fool! No matter how many steroids he uses he will always seem average!
>>
>>67805497
Hoooy
>>
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>>67805538
>google anal cow
>find this
Alright.
>>
>>67805497
Come on anon, that ain't average!
And his Power is to be average for god sake, steroids don't do shit!
>>
>>67805601
>uses steroids
>becomes averagely muscular
>loses in every fight
alright
>>
>>67805622
>losing every fight
>not winning an average number of fights for a person with his measurements and past experience
>>
This is fucking golden
>>
>>67805622
That...could actually work. Hope OP is still here.
>>
>>67805662
Clearly he would do as well as the average person not the average wrestler
>>
>>67805662
God damn, what have we done.
His powers literally contradicts everything. Maybe he has an average lifespan of all animals on the planet. Average intellect of all the creatures in the universe. He is the average man of literally everything.
>>
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>>67805577
>>
>>67805497
You respond to the classified in the normal way, and call them up.
You tell them about your actual real super powers, and how you would absolutely bring in some rock solid average ratings for their company.
They ask you to e-mail your resume, which you do.
Wow how exciting. Maybe you should bulk up with some steroids before they ask for an interview.
What's the best way to get steroids? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67805737
Ask at a local pharmacy
>>
>>67805497
>Nobody gets the reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsAiCs66l40
>>
>>67805737
buy them off craigslist
>>
>>67805737
Having sex with a hobo
>>
>>67805737
Ask an average not suspicious looking drug dealer,
>>
>>67805737
Selling your body on the blackmarket as a prostitute.
>>
>>67805737
Find some girl scouts and tell them you want steroids with your cookies.
>>
>>67805737
make them yourself
>>
>>67805737
Ask your doctor if steroids is right for you
>>
>>67805737
Drug Store.
>>
>>67805737
Ask your mother
>>
>>67805737
Before people were able to create HGH in labs they would steal bodies from graveyards to take it out of them with a syringe. Do this.
>>
>>67805827
That's very average of you, anon. Thanks :3
>>
>>67805737
Find the closest muscular person and ask where they got their steroids.
>>
>>67805839
Fuck, this is creepy as fuck.
Can anyone confirm it?
>>
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>>67805827
This is...okay
>>
>>67805827
That's boring and predictable
Good job anon
>>
>>67805868
yes
>>
>>67805827
Well the drug store sounds like the best place to get some steroids.
Luckily, it's still early enough in the evening, that the drug store should still be open, and it's not too far from here.
How do you go about getting there? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67806055
Tell the cashier that you are a superhero and need the steroids for the greater good of humanity.
>>
>>67806055
Walk.
>>
>>67806055
Ask your neighbor if they could drive you there
>>
>>67806055
Take your honda civic
>>
>>67806077
How
>>
>>67806055
Walk, and remember to invest in a bicycle later.
>>
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>>67806077
Oh wait GET their...I'm a retard.
>>
>>67806055
Take a nice brisk hog
>>
>>67806055
walk
>>
>>67806077
HOW you get there, not what you do when you do.
Still, double 7.
>>
>>67806055
Ford Pinto
>>
>>67806055
Bicycle that's been decorated to fit your super persona.
>>
>>67806055
Ask a friend for a lift. You'll pay for the gas.
>>
>>67806055
Take the bus
>>
>>67806055
walk
>>
>>67806055
Car.
>>
>>67806055
Run.
>>
>>67806055
speed walk
>>
>>67806055
With North Korean jaeger.
>>
>>67806055
Bus it
>>
>>67806055
Speed Walk. The most average speed.
>>
>>67806055
In the Personmobile, your trusty Pontiac Aztek.
>>
>>67806055
Get your parents to drive you
>>
This story is gold
>>
>>67806055
Carried there by a horde of rabid guinea pigs.
>>
>>67806237
Like every normal person!
>>
>>67806237
How... Abnormal
>>
Violently throw yourself down a hill and trust that physics will take you to the correct destination.
>>
>>67806077
Double 7 means we skip the last action, and jump RIGHT to the action.
You inform the cashier how real your super powers are, and that you need steroids to be a better super hero.
She tells you steroids are illegal and asks you to leave the store.
You insist that it's for the good of humanity! You're a real life super hero with real life super powers!
She again asks you to leave the store before she calls the cops.
What do you do? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67806261
Demonstrate how incredibly average you are by whipping out your incredibly average penis
>>
>>67806261
>Ask for performance enhancers
>>
>>67806261
Throw her to the horde of rabid guinea pigs.
>>
>>67806261
Act super (averagely) passive-aggressive and leave the store
>>
>>67806261
Get naked, they can't arrest you if you are naked, that's the law
>>
>>67806237
I fear that Person Man's powers may be fading... leaving behind a man who is anything but average.
>>
>>67806261
Averagely take the steroids with or without her permission
>>
>>67806261
rape
>>
>>67806261
Pocket Sand, then steal they drugs.
>>
>>67806317
SHIT'S GOING DOWN
>>
>>67806261
Rape her.
Normally.
>>
>>67806261
ALLAH AKBAR!
>>
>>67806317
We'll need to reboot the thread now if you give us a game over.
>>
>>67806317
Dear god...
>>
>>67806317
going to dark places man dark places
>>
>>67806317
This took a dark turn.
>>
>>67806261
Demonstrate how average you are on the coin-operated weight machine.
>>
>>67806317
Shit.
>>67806357
I honestly did not think I'd get this get.
>>
>>67806317
>the average man is a rapist
thanks tumblr
>>
>>67806317
i guess Person-man takes place in Australia..
>>
>>67806317
Like an average person would
>>
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>>67806317
>Tries to rape the woman
>She screams for help
>gets arrested
>>
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>>67806413
Yes, this is good.
>>
>>67806413
Of course they arrest the woman.
>>
>>67806413
I look forward for the story development in prison.
>>
>>67806379
>I honestly did not think I'd get this
Where do you think you are, anon?
>>
>>67806379
Let this be a lesson about the consequences of you choices.
>>
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>>67806317
>mfw he fails
>mfw he goes to jail
>mfw rest of story will be about prison justice
>more rape
>>
wait..if you are average at everything wouldn't that make you extraordinary thus negating your average powers?
>>
>>67806317
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN RAPEMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU, SISTER?
>>
>>67806317
Well this was inevitable.
Your first thought is to rape the cashier for being so unhelpful.
Then something buzzes in your brain. Is this an average response? Is the average man a rapist? Was tumblr right all along?
You start to rethink this whole raping deal. Maybe it'd lead to some dark places, and sex is really hard to draw.
Do you go through with it? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67806524
NO.
>>
>>67806524
No, apologize for wasting her time.
>>
>>67806524
You decide to just buy some ice cream and head home to watch Netflix.
>>
>>67806524
Pull a sick wrestling move and pin her down to the ground.
And yell this >>67806516
>>
>>67806524
Who cares, just do it.
IF THERE'S A HOLE IT'S A MAN'S JOB TO THRUST INTO IT.
>>
>>67806524
>Is the average man a rapist? Was tumblr right all along?
fucking lol
>>
>>67806524
Spend the rest of the day have philosophical thoughts of the average nature on man.
>>
>>67806524
Yes
Rape her
In the butt
>>
>>67806524
you go home and play minecraft
>>
>>67806524
NO. YOU ASK HER OUT ON A DATE WITH YOUR AVERAGE PERSUASION.
>>
>>67806524
Do it anyway
>>
>>67806524
No, and then force your brain to apologize for such an abnormal thought.
>>
>>67806524
BUTTFUCK HER IN THE PUSSY
>>
>>67806524
No, throw her to the rabid guinea pigs and let them do it.
My hands are clean!
>>
>>67806524
Get naked and while your distracting her with your average body type, grab the steroids and run
>>
>>67806524
Who cares what anyone else thinks.
This is your destiny, and yours alone. JUST GO FOR IT.
>>
>>67806524
Do it fagget
>>
>>67806524
No, throw Pocket Sand and bail.
>>
>>67806524
ask her out
>>
>>67806524
No, but ask her out on a date and sneak the steroids from behind her back
>>
>>67806524
You rape her to death
>>
>>67806524
Realize you can't rape a woman
Because you are gay
>>
>>67806524
Masturbate instead.
>>
>>67806524
Go home and get the filthy thoughts out of your head by fapping to extremely boring vanilla porn
>>
>>67806524
rape her figuratively instead by asserting you're the dominant person in this conversation
>>
>>67806524
ask her to rape you instead
>>
>>67806524
Ask her for a date instead
>>
>>67806524
No, wrestle her for the drugs.
>>
>>67806524
No, I just shoot her.
>>
>>67806524
ask her on a date, for some vanilla ice cream
>>
>>67806524
go home and masturbate
>>
>>67806524
Tell her you were thinking about it, but the fact that you didn't is concrete evidence that you are, in fact, a super hero.
>>
>>67806524
Flash your cock, maybe that will make her realize how average you are.
>>
>>67806524
Knock her out, gag her, tie her up, wake her up, and rape her while she watches in horror.
>>
>>67806524
No, instead you just imagine what she looks like naked and go home for a short wank like the average man.
>>
>>67806524
Can you rape without a penis anyway? Cut it off.
>>
>>67806524
Go home and fap while thinking about raping her.
>>
>>67806524
Date her with your average talking skills and steal the steroids from behind her back.
>>
>>67806651
This
>>
>>67806524
Ask her if she is single instead
>>
>>67806678
re rolling this
>>
>>67806524
Threaten to rape her, but don't actually do it. She'll fall for the bluff.
>>
>>67806524
Find a different woman rape. You know, just to show the cashier what will happen to her if she doesn't get you steroids.
>>
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>no one has gotten a 7 yet
>>
>>67806524
Rape isn't the answer. Murder is.
>>
>>67806524
How the fuck has no one gotten a 7 yet?
>>
>>67806524
Ask if she'll peg you.
>>
>>67806524
Call her hot, that's just like rape.
>>
>>67806524
Kill yourself
>>
>>67806524
Ask her out on a date, romatically.
And then steal the steroids without her knowing.
>>
>>67806721
It was meant to happen
You can't fight destiny
>>
>>67806524
No.
Look up how to make steroids on the internet.
>>
Openly weep about the unexplained urge to rape you just had.
>>
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>>67806727
>>
>>67806727
winRAR
>>
>>67806727
Goddammit.
>>
>>67806727
Well then.
>>
>>67806727
Good job.
>>
>>67806524
Hit her with a brick just in case you change your mind.
>>
>>67806727
welp
>>
>>67806524
No, perform suplex of her.
>>
>>67806727
That's not funny.
>>
>>67806651
this x 2 double refill
>>
>>67806727
What the hell.
>>
>>67806727
Well OP tried but the gods of RNG and 4chan have spoken
>>
>>67806524
No. However check to see if you're completely average sized penis gives any reaction to the thought of rape. If so, rethink your decision.
>>
>>67806727
And thus person man loses his powers of being incredible average.
>>
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>>67806727
Welp
>>
>>67806727
Well shit
>>
>>67806727
gg no re
>>
>>67806524
It's REBOOT TIME :3
>>
>>67806795
They were only temporary. He's going through average withdraw, causing him to be abnormal.
>>
>>67806727
IT WAS ALL A DREAM
just an average dream
>>
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>>67806795
Maybe it's a philosophical thing and how all humans need of violence to control themselves or something.
>>
>>67806860
That's the bloodiest stupidest thing I have ever heard, Karl.
>>
>>67806859
>turning into a superhero with no powers just to get steroids and become a wrestler after telling the IRS to get rid of some bears doing illegal things that you haven't even seen and was probably just a false accusation before going to the drug store to ask the cashier for drugs before thinking about raping her and then murdering her is an average dream
What
>>
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>>67806860
That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.
>>
>>67806909
Actually those are pretty average dreams
Dream's are weird, an abnormal dream would be a dream that made sense.
>>
>>67806524
OP are you Person man
are you going to prison for rape/murder
>>
>>67806727
Oh that's a much more level-headed and average response.
BANG. You shoot her square in the head. Of course you carry a gun. All average men carry guns in this city.
So you guess that solves that problem. What was the problem again? You can't remember.
Where do you stash the murder weapon? P:ost ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67806974
My dreams are usually easy to understand. I'm playing a game and if I'm touched by humans, they'd break my neck and rape my bum.
>>
>>67806991
Panic over the fact you killed an innocent civilian.
>>
>>67806991
Rape the corpse. You're not going to walk away from this that easily.
>>
>>67806991
In the body
>>
>>67806991
In her stomach.
>>
>>67806991
Her Hand.
>>
>>67806991
Eat it.
>>
>>67806991
up her ass
>>
>>67806991
In your penis
>>
>>67806991
Shoot yourself
>>
>>67806991
eat it
>>
>>67806991
Her vagoo :3
>>
>>67806991
Don't bother stashing the weapon; as an ordinary law-abiding superhero citizen you can just reason with the police.
>>
>>67806991
Up your butt.
>>
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>>67806991
Get hit on the head with a frying pan.
>>
>>67806991
inside your ass
>>
>>67806991
In a ziploc bag that you turn in to the police.
>>
>>67806991
average cover up skills, put gun in her, then take her home
>>
>>67806991
Eat it.
>>
>>67806991
At Moot's.
>>
>>67806991
up ur ass
>>
>>67806991
They can't find the weapon if it's inside you.
>>
>>67807045
rolling for this
>>
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>>67806991
Open up her chest, put it in there. They won't find any traces of your DNA on it because hers will be all over it.
>>
>>67807037
oh god damnit.
>>
>>67806991
In the police officers pocket.
>>
>>67806991
up da butt
>>
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>>67807037
>>
>>67807037
GUN IN VAG CONFIRMED.
NOW DRAW THAT DELICIOUS PIXELATED CUNNY.
>>
>>67807037
I'm starting to fall in love with this.
>>
>>67807037
winrar
>>
>>67807021
This.
She was weird and you are average. The cops will never know
>>
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>>67807037
>>
>>67807037
God damnit /co/ you had one job!
>>
>>67807141
I feel as though all my gets were the weirdest. I was the rape anon.
Now let's see that pixel kitty, OP.
>>
>>67806991
in her body where no one will look
>>
>>67807158
most average person in this thread
>>
>>67807037
Your completely average intelligence is not at all coming into question with these recent actions.
Her vagina! Perfect! No one would ever think to look there for a murder weapon!
What could go wrong?
Post ending in 7 decides what immediately goes wrong.
>>
>>67807220
There's already a gun there/
>>
>>67807220
Batman
>>
>>67807220
It was all a dream.
>>
>>67807220
She's still alive
>>
>>67807220
you take a dark turn for the worst and leave to become a super villain
>>
>>67807220
babby comes out
>>
>>67807220
Napalm
>>
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>>67807220
Your arch rival, Man Person, appears from inside of the woman's body. He's called the cops already.
>>
>>67807220
She's still alive.
>>
>>67807220
There is a dildo inside her pussy
>>
>>67807220
The gun misfires and strikes you.
>>
>>67807220
How am I going to decide what goes wrong? I should only have power over my own actions, not over the whole adventure.
If 7 you shoot yourself and die
>>
>>67807220
You put the gun in with the barrel facing forward. The gun goes off
>>
>>67807267
Top kek
>>
>>67807220
You get raped
>>
>>
>>67807220
The IRS wake you up, turns out you were knocked out by the criminal bears and you were dreaming the whole thing
>>
>>67807267
Ha!
>>
>>67807267
This, put the blame on a group of black people when you were there buying headache pills.
>>
>>67807220
hand gets stuck
>>
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>>67807267
Whelp. Time for a Reboot, OP.
Thank god he was an average American man with a gun.
>>
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>>67807267
>>
>>67807220
IT WAS MAN PERSON ALLL ALONG!!!!!!!
You're still walking to the drug store
>>
>Thread ruined by "lol raep xD"
I shouldn't be surprised, given were we are, but I don't understand why it took so long.
>>
>>67807267
Are we ded now?'
>>
>>67807220
I cannot imagine that cashier's thoughts in heaven right now.
Some crazy man walks in, acts like he's a superhero, asks for illegal drugs, rape-stares at her, then shoots her before shoving a gun up her cunt.
I almost feel sorry for her.
>>
>>67807346
At least she didn't get actually raped, just killed, which is not as morally wrong
>>
>>67807391
stop
>>
>>67807267
BANG.
Oh god the gun went off again how did that happen oh god.
It ricochets off of the cashiers rock-hard vagina.
You feel an immense amount of pain. Clearly the bullet managed to hit you.
But you can't tell where it hurts--It just hurts all over.
Where did the bullet hit you? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67807427
Your penis.
>>
>>67807391
How so? The only reason we have such an aversion to rape(over murder) is because it's much less common in media.
>>
>>67807427
dickhole
>>
>>67807427
Eyeball. It doesn't kill you though. Now you have a cool eyepatch.
>>
>>67807427
Your womb
>>
>>67807427
Your brain, you are dead.
>>
>>67807427
Your left testicle
>>
>>67807427
You stop the bullet with your incredibly average heart.
>>
>>67807427
Turns out it was just a rat on your face, you wake up in the garbage can you live in
>>
>>67807427
In your vagina
>>
>>67807427
In your superpower
>>
>>67807427
somewhere in the brain, it seems to have fucked up something important
>>
>>67807427
Right in the continuity.
>>
>>67807427
It was all a dream, and you woke up right when the gun went off. You can't die in a dream.
>>
>>67807427
The fucking heart. Reboot already.
>>
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>>67807442
>>
>>67807427
Your left testicle.
>>
>>67807427
Head.
>>
>>67807477
We ded, game over
>>
>>67807477
How normal.
>>
>>67807427
See>>67807272
Rolling for head
>>
>>67807477
>he becomes the most average superhero, wrestler, murderer to have ever turned into a vegetable
>>
>>67807477
not the average cortex!
>>
>>67807427
It ricocheted off a tooth and back into her vagina.
>>
>>67807477
If singles, he survives
>>
>>67807477
Oh shit we're going to be retarded now.
>>
>>67807427
It goes through your chest, but somehow misses anything vital. Bystanders watch in horror, you have instill fear like no other. You are chosen by a yellow lantern ring.
>>
>>67807542
>now
>>
>>67807477
Is this turning into a story warning children not to become pro wrestlers?
>>
Is Personman from Hub city? That would explain a lot.
>>
>>67807508well I was hoping for something more like
>>67807522to happen, not death
>>
>>67807477
rip in pieces Person Man
>>
>>67807569
Now he need a brain prosthetic. He's a cyborg now.
>>
>>67807477
OH lawd in hea'ben, what is we gonna do now?
>>
>>67807569
it hit the part of our brain that keeps us average. We are now ManPerson, pyscho.
Plot twist.
>>
>>67807557
I mean clinically.
>>
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>>67807425
No
>>
>>67807542
anon our first thought under pressure was to rape, then changed our minds to murder and decided to hide the weapons in the dead girls vagina. We were always retarded.
>>
>>67807614
>We are now ManPerson, pyscho.
>We are now pyscho.
>now pyscho.
>now
>>
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>>67807622
>>
>>67807477
Your head feels really fuzzy again. But not in the good way.
Oh god the bullet his your head. You can feel your super powers slowly draining out of your body.
Bullets! One of your many many weaknesses!
How did the cashier KNOW? Something feels off. Very off.
Oh god. Are you dying? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
Gas a furry convention
>>
>>67807670
Yes. You become Zombieman
>>
>>67807670
You are reaching a state of enlightenment only possible when you lose a piece of your brain.
Your true super powers are now becoming unlocked.
>>
>>67807670
No. You get brain prosthetic and become cyborg.
>>
>>67807670
NO! You turn into ManPerson, a not-so-average superVILLAIN (with average powers regardless)
>>
>>67807670
Yes, you dead, start over.
>>
>>67807670
Yes
>>
>>67807670
You awakened your PERSONA
>>
>>67807670
You dead son.
>>
>>67807670
Become a black lantern.
>>
>>67807687
Why not
>>
>>67807670
No. The buller contained the mind of the cashier clerk, she is becoming the Superior Average Wo-Man!
>>
>>67807670
No, but your powers seem to be changing. They're no longer average, they feel... off.
>>
>>67807670
you die like a bitch, game over man. Reload a save or something.
>>
>>67807727
Whelp time to start over.
>>
>>67807727
rip in peace ;_;7
>>
>>67807670
T>>67807727
FYCJ YOU FUCK YOU I ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT THIS FICITIONALY LITTLE TWERP AND YOU WENT A RUINED IT I HOPE YOU BURN IN HEL IM AOSOOO ANGRY IM GONNA RAARAAAAAAAGEEE
>>
>>67807670
The cashier is not actually dead. She springs to life, revealing she is in fact a telepathic snake woman. That's how she knew your weakness.
>>
>>67807670
Naw, you just need an aspirin. Pop one o' dem bad boys and you'll be right as rain.
>>
>>67807670
You died.
>>
>>67807743
This
>>
>>67807727
rip in pieces
unless OP decides to do this >>67807687
>>
>>67807727
It has been decided. RIP Average Person Man, who wasn't very average at all.
>>
>>67807670
through a completely average turn of events you live, however you can no longer walk
>>
>>67807670
Oh no... HOW OLD AM I? WHAT'S THE AVERAGE LIFESPAN OF AN AMERICAN MALE?!
>>
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>>67807727
>>
>>67807727
Now begins the adventures of Corpse Man as he battles his arch nemesis, Decomposition.
>>
Have you ever spaghetti'd so hard you killed a woman before dying on accident while shoving a gun up her cunt?
>>
>>67807727
If I get dubs 7s or higher you die, but are reborn with all your memories.
>>
This is great OP, I hope you start over if MC is dead
>>
>>67807777
quads confirm RIP in peace
>>
Maybe a zombie average man can gas a furry convention.
>>
>>67807755
>caring about an average person who wasnt even that average
>>
>>67807777
Quads confirms
>>
>>67807777
quads delivered the epitaph
>>
I hope the next guy we roll is just a normal guy who is on fire
>>
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>>67807777
quads puts the final nail in the completely average coffin
>>
>>67807777
Well he was.
He had average stupid goals. Like being a wrestler.
Wanted the easy way out. Steroids.
Went the easiest way to get them, drug store.
Took the dumbest choices when he freaked out.
Finally he made a fatal mistake trying to cover his crime.
Would any of us have done more? Would any of us have done less?
>>
>>67807670
what if the story wasn't about him, but an epic to his son's story arch
>>
>>67807889
#trupottery
>>
>>67807873
I hope his funeral is mediocre.
>>
>>67807889
but anon, the point of his powers is that EVERYONE would have done either more or less. He's the exact average.
>>
>>67807923
no, it'll be average
>>
>>67807727
You collapse on top of the cashier. You died.
Whoops.
That's too bad.
What do you do next? Post ending in 7 decides.
>>
>>67807939
average for a murderer at least
>>
Did the IRS ever win?
>>
>>67807951
Lie there dead.
>>
>>67807951
lay there for a while
>>
>>67807951
Start over/Respawn.
>>
>>67807951
rot, I suppose
>>
>>67807951
Like every superhero you've gone through a dark age and died. Now you need to return to life a-
>>67807967
Fuck
>>
>>67807967
It's good to know he's completely average, even in death.
>>
>>67807957
>Personman's last thoughts as he fades from this world.
>>
>>67807951
It was all a dream.
>>
>>67807951
average skeleton man now
>>
>>67807951
We are reborn in a new body. This body has sideburns. Nobody knows of what happened other than us. We are very average.
>>
>>67807951
restart from choosing a job
>>
>>67807951
Become a grey lantern
>>
>>67807967
Fuck.
>>
>>67807951
You're so average, your soul is average. Not knowing whether to go to heaven or hell, it lingers on earth as a ghost
>>
>>67807967
There was hope! Then you fucked it. You fucking monster!
>>
>>67807951
Become the most average soul ever.
>>
>>67807951
You live.
>>
>>67807987
>>67807990
I'm so sorry anons, I didn't know my post would end in 7.
I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW!
>>
>>67807777
>>67807967
Game over.
You have died.
>>
>>67807951
Walk it off.
>>
>>67808000
OP trips?
>>
>>67807937
Holy shit you guys, what if his powers don't make him average at all? What if his powers make everything he does completely average for all of society? What if everyone else is now murder gun raping themselves to death?
>>
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>>67807967
>>
>>67808000
too bad trips mean nothing
>>
>>67807951
>murderer in a superhero costume found dead while shoving gun up a cashier's unmentionables, Tallahassee, FL
>camera records a man walking up to the cashier and asking for illegal drugs. When faced with denial, he pauses before brutally shooting the cashier to death. Attempting to hide the murderweapon up the cashier's privates, it misfires and fatally kills him. Police may have suspected him to be mentally insane for he recently called the IRS about bears committing crime and was wearing a makeshift superhero costume at the time of the murder. More news at 6
>>
RESTART OP!pls
>>
>>67808048
HOLY SHIT
>>
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>>67808036
god why
>>
>>67808036
Reset.
>>
>>67808036
7 FOR NEW GAME
>>
>>67808036
Can I insert a coin?
>>
>>67808085
YES
NO RAPE PLEASE
JUST SWEET SWEATY LOVING.
>>
>>67808107
>>67808107
>>67808107
Whoop whoop
>>
>>67808107
bears committing sexual fraud. It was them all along!
>>
>>67808048
>>67808063
But he's more average than everyone else.
Meaning half the people are doing worse than murder suicide.
>>
>>67808107
7 CONFIRMS
OP MUST DELIVER
>>
>>67808048
Well it could be interpreted in several ways. Perhaps he could keep up a perfectly constant average speed for the exactly average amount of time based on age, gender, and socioeconomic status. Or perhaps he truly is average now, since the majority of all people who have ever lived are dead.
>>
>>67808062
Maybe that was it anon. Maybe by trying to be totally average was his way to feel special. Yet what we see as his failure he managed to achieve what he truly wanted. He managed to live on in the hearts of us all, that maybe he wasn't just average at all. But a fucking weirdo.
>>
>>67808036
I haven't been this disappointed since the second season of LOK.
>>
can we have an average multiverse and follow the advenures of alternate Person man?
>>
>>67808194
it was a pre-chosen destiny, OP cheated
>>
>>67808205
Damn it, Peter, now's not the time to cutaway
>>
>>67808214
Well, um, yeah. Everyone who's born is destined to die.
>>
>>67808194
Aren't there more people on the planet alive than dead now though?
>>
This was a damn great thread from beginning to end. Thanks, OP, hope you do other CYOA thread.
>>
>>67808036
rolling 7 for Average-Verse
>>
If 7, we retcon the story and this was a malfunctioning clone, and real Person Man is being held in Man Person's lab.
>>
>>67808249
Fuck you, Lois, I do what I want!
>>
>>67808290
The lab explodes.
>>
Hey guys OP here.
So that happened. That was a thing that happened.
Great job all around. I guess. Yeah yay go team.
So should we start a new thing? I think we should start a new thing.
Post ending in 5 decides the new super power.
How could this idea possibly backfire?
>>
>>67808344
The power to be extraordinary in a mary sue fashion
>>
>>67808337
>>67808259
>>67808194
doesn't matter what universe, doesn't matter what timeline, doesn't matter the situation.
He always dies
>>
>>67808344
Smoke powers!
>>
>>67808344
sharp objects
>>
>>67808344
Unlimited cishet white male privilege
>>
>>67808344
You're able to slice cheese perfectly.
>>
>>67808344
>>67808365
Holy shit.
>>
>>67808365
Here we go.
>>
>>67808344
His superpower is able to remember every incarnation he was before death. Like Average Person Man or being a Malaysian Hooker.
>>
>>67808344
>over 500 posts
New thread for the next power, when it's decided.
>>67808365
Well, huh.
>>
>>67808344
You are Shrek
>>
>>67808365
We should start this in a new thread
>>
>>67808365
Ignore this please, we already did that.
>>
>>67808365
>Hey guys OP here.
I like it
>>
>>67808344
>>67808365
perfect
>>
>>67808423
>Not wanting a immortal vampire with the power of 10000 suns who's married to jeff the killer and makes hot yaois every day
What are you? Some sort of faggot?
>>
>>67808365
Mother fuck...how the hell is this even possible?!
Also, are we gonna have a new thread?
>>
>>67808344
OP i gotta be honest and say that was some serious bullshit.
>>
>>67808365
This might be difficult. Would a perfect mary sue rape?
>>
>>67808475
We're the ones who wrote most of the important parts of the story so it's our fault, really.
>>67808480
No, his depressing backstory would prevent him from doing bad unless it's doing bad to bad.
>>
>>67808480
all sexual acts committed by said mary sue cannot be construed as rape unless the victim wanted rape in teh first place
>>
>>67808480
Maybe the Mary Sue of a super edgy setting.
If Coldsteel is better at being edgy than everybody else, wouldn't it make him Mary Sueish?
>>
>>67808553
>>67808553
>>67808553
>>67808553
>>67808553
New thread, folks.
>>
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>>67807267
Thread posts: 542
Thread images: 63
Thread images: 63