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desperate /ck/ general
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You are currently reading a thread in /ck/ - Food & Cooking

Thread replies: 129
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>no $ until tuesday, already went to foodbank
>tfw you're so hungry you start eyeing the cat food

What's the most desperate meal you've ever eaten /ck/?
>>
If you have access to a microwave, sweet potatoes are cheap, easy, and will keep you going.
I've had sweet potato weeks, and came out alright.
>>
>>7367110
My most desperate was eating seasoning, last month I ate half a jar of lemon pepper
>>
post your fridge and pantry contents

probably chick peas directly from a can for me
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>>7367110
I've gone without food for a couple of days because my bank account was overdrawn by mistake and they couldn't sort it out at the time.

Post your fridge contents so I can see what you can pull. If you've eggs, potatoes and onions you can pull off a great, fullfilling Spanish omelette like pic related.
>>
a spoon with dave's insanity hot sauce on it and a cup of ice cubes
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>>7367110
a dry ramen brick and a handful of icecubes
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>>7367110
when I was homeless, dirt poor and hungry, fucking shoplifted a package of chicken legs, and a bottle of herdez salsa verde, went to the park collected some dead wood and used one of those stationary grills to grill up a feast of green chicken. had to turn that shit and take it off the grill with my bare hands, and nothing but the picnic table with bird shit on it to put the cooked chicken on
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>>7367117
"drank" a bottle of yellow mustard
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>>7367110
Dude just go to the deli at the grocery store get some chicken or something and throw the container out before you leave
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>>7367247
you don't even have to go that far dude, most places will let you "sample" a couple slices if you ask nicely
>>
I know a guy who survived off of ketchup packets and pepper packets from gas stations or restaurants for a while.
>>
I remember I was so broke at one point I stole extra ramen from the grocery store at the self checkout.
>>
Thank god im a legit crazy person and store extra food in case of emergency.
Ive legit ran out of money and normal food so I had some MREs stored up. Ate those for the first 2 days, but forgot to put some in my car. I stayed over at a girls house I was having casual sex with at the time and I said Id go to work tomorrow without having dinner or breakfast because i was so poor.
She bought me a papa johns pizza, chicken wings, and got me drunk. I took some pizza to work the next day.
That was one of the nicest things anyones ever done for me.
>>
Ate rice for two weeks inbetween jobs
>>
i would eat out the trash even during college i check the trash if theres good juice or a water bottle ill fill it up i used to live off the keyfood trash bring back mad food for the senpai #trashy
one time i ended up with shit on my hands and i cried
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>>7367234
story?
>>
>>7368681
I am curious as well.
>>
>Argentina
>Work in the culture ministry of Buenos Aires, just do office work and shit
>Stress is killing me, pay is enough to keep me alive but still not enough to have any extra
>Cash is cash
>Suddenly, the government starts to fire people because they supposedly aren't doing their jobs
>I don't work as a permanent staff, got the job too resently for that
>Shitting my pants because there is a big chance of getting my ass fired thanks to our new right-wing capitalist president
>Get a message saying I got fired a few days later, not gonna get on details as that's not the part I care about
>Get home, no job.
>Only food I got left are 1 piece of bread, 3 apples, 1 peach and a bunch of lemons
>Luckily got some coffee, but that won't feed me for shit
>Eat the piece of bread and an apple.
>Only 2 apples, 1 peach and a bunch of lemons left

I will die.

I will fucking end up living in the streets.

I'm nibbling on these apples trying to make them last enough for me to get either a new job or some money from the gov. I'm honestly contemplating suicide, as I barely got any money left. I got some condiments around the house, but they won't keep me alive enough.
>>
I've lived off of bread I baked for a week before. Sourdough.

All it takes is flour, water, olive oil and a little salt. You have to have a starter, but that's just flour and water. I started it when it became apparent that payday wasn't going to happen. (Company declared bankruptcy right when mortgage and a car payment were due)

After the first week I had made a few deals to do some contracting work with some advanced deposits, and sold off a guitar I was done with, and was able to start adding soups to go with the bread. Soup and bread are the best foods when you're cash strapped. Beans and Rice run a close second for frugal living.
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>>7368681
>>7368693
dad died, went slightly crazy, got in car and drove till fuck it I'm here, wherever here is, which ended up being around dallas, no job so live out of car, manage to get job doing day labor but shit only pays like thirty bucks a day, gas and food, no place to live, run out of gas one day, leave car to go work and make gas money, get back, car is towed no way in hell I'll ever afford to get it out of impound at this point so lost all my shit, so now homeless and carless, end up getting run over, not bad but enough to fuck up my leg for a few weeks, so no work for me, so homeless carless, jobless and broke with a bum leg, carry backpack with my few belongings and a change of clothes everywhere cause no place safe to leave it, know about the park cause I've used it before, go into grocery store to use bathroom, say fuck it and bold as day stand right there at the meat section and put a package of drumsticks in my bag, also grab salsa verde, walk out, no one says shit to me, probably just didn't care cause someone had to have seen me, anyways go down to park and proceed to cook on stationary grill and you know the rest
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>>7368945
>
oh god i am so sorry to hear that, how did u manage after that if u dont mind me asking
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>>7368960
eventually joined the army out of desperation, got hurt during boodcamp and finally went home
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>>7367110
Waited for little Caesars to close and go in the dumpster. Shit was still hot and good. Was in between jobs.
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>>7367130
If OP is eyeing up fucking cat food, what makes you think he has any of that shit?
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>>7367110
I downed a can of expired coconut milk for the calories(like 1200 calories a can), ended up with diarrhea. It was the only thing in the house.

It was the house I was sharing with my sister and she was always gone for long periods so I used to steal a couple $1 coins she had in a piggy bank to buy tortillas and cans of food.
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> had water and expired rice crackers for 13 days
now i have food stored for the next 6 months
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>>7368833
>>
What is your excuse for not buying dry beans(not soy, screw soy), brown rice, and oats in bulk?

Throw in some cheap veggies from the farmers market. Carrots, celery, onion, peas.

You can be eating well as a poor fag.
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Since I started cooking "hardcore" I noticed something.

Am I crazy or cooking frequent meals isn't fucking any cheaper than eating outside?
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>>7369553
Yeah. I spent $60 making a meal for two last weekend. Hey, at least you don't have to tip.
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>>7369550
> 6+ €/kg oats
> 4+ €/kg chicken
derp
>>
white rice and taco bell mild sauce
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>>7368945
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
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>>7367110
If you are going to the foodbank on a regular basis and you're hungry enough to even consider cat food you need to stop paying for internet access & other non-essential needs RIGHT NOW and seriously learn to re-evaluate how you're spending your money.
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>>7369585
ok mom, how do you know he's not posting from the library?
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>>7369637
Because he's dirt poor and dirt poor people are usually dumb as fucking rocks.
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>>7367234
you should have used some sticks as makeshift grill utensils
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Ant larvae. Fried. With rice side.

Gotta get ur protein, watever the cost.
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>>7367110
Go to markets, grocery stores and butchers, ask nicely if they got anything to throw out. 9/10 it just looks bad.
Hell i manage to feed my dog 1kg+ meat a day with 0 expense!
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>>7369573
Derp yourself when oats are dry and chicken is full of 4+ €/kg water.
Saves money on all the antibiotics and ormones tho, if ur into that shit!
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>>7369442
This is obviously one of the smarter things to do. hit up food joints after closing.
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>>7369442
>Shit was still hot and good.
>hot and good.
Don't you mean "hot n' ready?"
>>
>>7368833
Any form of homeless shelters, food banks or otherwise? Raid trashcans behind chain places like starbucks, pizza places and any other fast food near closing. They often dump bags of untouched, sometimes still packaged food.

You'll die if you choose to. Get up.
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>>7367110
I went dumpster diving and ate not-yet-spoiled food. Was kinda nice.
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>>7367110

Forage for food in the outdoors? There's tons of edible stuff growing all around you dingus.

Home invasion is also a great choice. Just steal other people's food.
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>>7367110
I make around 14 an hour, have had a serious drinking problem for a solid decade, go to school on a semi regular basis, pay car, health and renters insurance, pay my rent, buy groceries regurarly, have a social life, a phone etc and I drink an unholy amount of alcohol and I've got a couple grand in savings and live in an expensive city.

How the fuck are you this broke?
>>
>>7369553
well, if you're comparing meals cooked at home with quality ingredients to dollar menu shit, then yeah, you can eat cheaper getting mcdicks. but if you stick with cheaper cuts of meat and vegetables and you cook a decent amount so that you have leftovers, you can get your cost per meal down pretty low.
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>>7367110
Most desperate were probably icecubes with sugar....
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>>7368116
>I stayed over at a girls house I was having casual sex with

She look good?
>>
Why are poor people allowed here? Go get a job you fucking parasites.
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>>7367110
I had a salad dressing sandwich. It wasn't all that good but I had no margerine.
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>>7370335
Have some sympathy for a fellow human being
>>
I've eaten a whole can of Alpo before
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>>7370510
>human
>poor
pick one
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>>7370335
you can have a job and still be poor
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>>7370510
If you have a job I'll have some sympathy. But if you don't and you're waiting for your welfare check then you should go die in a gutter fucking parasite.
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I ate bread and ketchup for 3 weeks staight
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>>7369577
No lie that sounds really good. Hawaiian fag here, will eat rice till I die!
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>>7368833
fuck me i never knew this was possible
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>>7369500
>food stored for the next 6 months

I do that too after my dole money was stopped for 8 months. My flat ended up like a squat as the electricity was cut off and I could no longer wash clothes, sheets or towels, or vacuum the carpet. I pretty much gave up and spent all day surrounded by trash in a cold, dark, damp room.

With no hot water I could only take cold showers, even in winter (Yorkshire gets below freezing in winter). I ate by shoplifting (I only ever hit major chains, never the mom & pop), begging food from aquaintances, stealing milk from doorsteps (always left at least one bottle, never the same house twice) and on Friday and Saturday nights I'd stalk the streets at 3-4am looking for discarded takeaways. I called that "Fast Food Safari," and you'd be amazed how much food I found on the street. Half eaten doner kebabs, pizzas, garlic bread, and once found an untouched 2 chicken drumsticks and chips at a bus stop. It was hard to see fat drunks stagger down the street with a huge pizza when I hadn't eaten for 4 days, knowing I could knock them out with two punches and walk away with that hot, nourishing pizza. Lucky for them I never resorted to violence.

It's amazing I wasn't evicted for non-payment of rent but I think the landlord, who I was friendly with, knew I wouldn't survive if he kicked me out, and the state of the flat meant he'd have to spend about five grand renovating it before he could move someone else in.

After that experience I'm grateful for every mouthful of food, every time I flick a lightswitch or feel the warmth of a radiator. And like I said, I stockpile food in case of a similar situation. I'd last at least 5 months if SHTF.
>>
>>7371274
Any stories you'd like to share?
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>>7367115

how do you make sweet potatoes in the microwave? can you do it with JUST the potato and nothing else, i don't have paper towels or oil right now.
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>>7370639
It's your own greedy fault you chose to work a job you hate. You're not superior, just snooty.

Some people choose to spend their life doing what they love, which usually means getting less money (at least for a while), but more job satisfaction because they're creatively fulfilled or helping people.

These people almost always end up contributing a lot more to society than some corporate wage slave, shilling sweat-shop widgets for a CEO he'll never meet.
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>>7371283
There's not much to tell since all I did was read library books by candlelight and play blues on an acoustic guitar all day.

I went busking a few times. Made about £3 an hour, which was good, until someone literally spat on me. I lost my nerve and didn't play in public again until years later in a band.

9/11 happened while I was going through this, and since I had no TV or radio, I had no idea it was happening until a crazy guy I know came over and invited me round to his parents. On the way he mentioned something about a terrorist attack in New York. I didn't think much of it until we got to his folks house and the TV was on (muted) in the background.

He was casually chatting to his mother when the news showed one of the planes hitting the towers. They looked at me like I was crazy when I freaked out and demanded they turn it up and watch. My friend kept trying to turn the channel to VHM and MTV and got annoyed when all channels showed the attack.

I got a few beers and a sandwich from them though, so that was a good day for me.
>>
7 month expired mozarella cheese on a slice of white bread
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>>7371292
>>7371292
stab a few small holes in the potato with a fork, put in the microwave until it feels like its soft all the way through and then peel it (which at this point is really easy)
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>>7369006
That's what my MIL did.
>MFW she has been saying she is a 'disabled veteran' for 30+ years and demands discounts everywhere.
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I used to cook squirrel all the time in the dorms.

Everyone loved the smell, but were repulsed when I said what it was.
>>
Expired protein bar.
>>
One time, about a decade ago, I got so desperate I actually went and sliced my own bread and made a sandwhich.
Don't think I've ever been so depressed in my life.
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>>7368116
just go ahead and say prostitute
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>>7368833
godspeed you black argentinian
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>>7367110

My kryptonite is salmon.

So when I was dating this girl, I got invited to her parents for dinner. It was salmon. I ate some, and then proceeded to throw up in the sink in their kitchen.
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>>7371665
I think you missed the point of the thread.
>>
hamster treats. they were little yogurt based things.

i'm not sure if they actually tasted good, but i think they did. might have been the desperation though.
>>
>>7371675

Nah. Just been living an okay life I guess.
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>>7371688
No, you missed the point.
Nothing in your post says desperate. It just screams 'nonsensical'.
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>>7371522
Did you consider lying and saying another game meat? Like rabbit? Or just not care? It's cool that you were honest, but I can see how shit-talking spreads fast in dorms, since I was veg. when I was in Ag. School.

I guess that may not be much different to some people that consider Thumper too cute to eat or small game to be "poor people food" regardless. Growing up in Kentucky, with old parents, squirrel, calves' brains, possum, and the like aren't anything I ate, but, I'd never judge someone for eating them.

One of my earliest memories was watching my Dad dig shot out of a rabbit.
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>>7371647
Post-applecore?
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>>7371408

Thank you anon. But do you have to peel it? I like the skin
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>>7369553
The trick is quantity. As you do more cooking you'll have more and more staple ingredients sitting around. Same with spices. Usually, when I cook a nice meal, I'm just buying the meat and produce. Everything else is leftover ingredients from the pantry.
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>>7371975
no, but the skin can end up a little tough if you don't turn them a few times in the microwave.
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>>7371784
LMAO.

This was at Murray State. I only lasted a semester until those empty parking lots fueled my introverted depression and I transferred to UK.
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>>7367110
I ate porridge of oats and water with sugar for 2 weeks when I was at uni
>>
Story time:
>be me 14
>mom and dad were both hero addicted
>died from overdose
>older brother breaks down, does a lot of shit and got jailed for 5+ years
>no close family, left for my self
>fuck no I wouldn't get caught by the child care (idk American word)
>spent basically my whole childhood outside away from the house or at friends
>killed a lot of animals in my childhood, mostly for fun
Continue?
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>>7372862
No, I've seen the Jungle Book.
>>
>>7372862
Please do not.
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>>7367110
Rice with rice seasoning that must have been 3 years old
>>
I killed a duck and nabbed a pack of potatoes and some olive oil once. Probably the best I've eaten
>>
At work I'd go to the bathroom and walk by the break room, if there was no one in there, i would steal from lunch boxes. Felt bad but I had to to keep going until I saved enough to buy food.
>>
>>7372950
That was wrong. You should have starved before stealing. I categorize thieves on the same tier as child molesters - scum of the Earth.

I was dying from liver disease 10 years ago. I couldn't afford the medicine to keep me healthy. I had an opportunity to steal it but I did not. If I died, I died as my own man. I had my dignity and honor. I refuse to go out being labeled a shit bag.
>>
>>7372930
That duck had a wife and kids.
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>>7372967
Details?
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>>7372950
I spied a lone sandwich in the fridge at work once. No name or date, so I snagged out on my out - the only thing I ate that date.

Shitty bologna with mustard AND mayo. During the next afternoon, my cunty coworker declared someone had stoked her sandwich. I've never had to fight back my laughter that hard before.
>>
>>7372988
>with mustard AND mayo
I make sandwiches with mustard and mayo. It's a pretty nice combo. I actually had two turkey sandwiches today with sliced black olives, spinach, and mustard and mayo.

Another good sandwich is a mix of tuna, sliced celery, chopped lettuce, mayo, mustard and black pepper. I mix all that in the appropriate proportions and slap it between two slices of bread. Maybe with a few slices of cucumber.
>>
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What's wrong with eating cat food? I eat cat food all the time because it helps me sleep.
>>
salted roux thinned with water, honestly not bad for a few days
>>
>water
>cornmeal
>mix to paste like consistency

Low point during my "drink myself awake and then back to sleep" days

I literally only got out of bed long enough for more alcohol and more cornmeal mush. Then it was back to bed where I would drink until I passed out again.

Fun times.
>>
>>7373060
Your sandwiches sound like shit. But that's just my opinion.
>>
>>7370335
>have no job experience
>nobody wants to hire me

Nice suggestion dumbass
>>
I lived on dried anchovies and raw peanuts for about a week in a Kuala Lumpur capsule hotel.
>>
>>7372967
From the perspective of prehistoric man, the person who first fenced off a patch of land was depriving other people of it.
To own something means to deny it to other people; not just to reserve its use for yourself, but to reserve it completely, even if you do nothing with it.

In other words, property at its most basic level is deprivation. I don't see how you can get smug about honouring the thieves who were first in line over the latecomers.

That said, I don't care. I am a selfish person. But I'm also an honest person, so I try not to be a self-righteous liar like you. Might consider employing a farmhand or factory worker like you, though; delusion is great for work ethic.
>>
>>7374479
lol
>>
When I was coming off the brokest time of my life (post addiction) I had boxed breadcrumbs and melted margarine
>felt like total shit
>instant migraine
>>
>>7374480
I respect your opinion, and I admit there was an element of having to use up the turkey and spinach ASAP, but I found it legitimately delicious. I love every one of those ingredients and they didn't clash as far as I could tell.
>>
>>7370639
>implying you get a check for not working in every nation of the earth
I really wish you guys know what is a real struggle
>>
>>7367117
>>7367130
>>7367195
>>7367234
>>7367247
>>7369442
>>7369473
>>7369585
>>7369734
>>7369959
>>7369961
>>7369991
>>7370309
>>7370418
>>7371665
>>7372362
>>7372905

OP here.
Thanks for all the responses and sorry I disappeared after posting.. rough times right now.

For those saying how can I be so worthless/poor/etc and thus deserve this, I agree. I have ended up in a situation where I am not legally able to work [foreign country] and the work I had been doing under the table has ceased to exist lately due to weather/unforseen circumstances.

Before anyone gets going on a political/illegal rant - no, I am not in America. Yes, I am in a country without legal status and cannot work - however I have no choice in this situation. If I leave back to my country to work/save money for residency or work permit, my disabled husband will have no one to care for him.

We are living off a disability check for one person (800$ a month.. laughable when rent is $600/mo, no power included).

Thanks for all the suggestions - I have taken them all into consideration any may have to resort to some of the more extreme suggestions unfortunately.

I'm just glad my kitties have food still :3
>>
>>7367110
go get you some ephedrine boy
>>
>>7375842

I know this is /reddit/ but you can always post your story at /r/randomactsofpizza or some shit and hope some kind soul sends you some food.
>>
>>7374449
Are you a cat?
>>
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>>7376653
I'm the Dayman.
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>>7375842
Just eat your cats.
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>>7376667
I think he'd be better off eating his disabled husband. Does anyone have any good recipes for crippled faggot?
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>>7371975
Hell nah. Skins got fiber and nutritional value too. Some just peel it off for the same reason they'd peel an apple skin off - they just don't like the texture, I guess.
>>
>>7372950
Someone kept stealing my sandwiches at work so I left out some ham in the sum over the weekend, made a sandwich with it and left it in the fridge for the thief to eat.

My sandwiches were never touched again.
>>
>>7367110
i used to ration the post-christmas leftovers until they were bordering on rotten; then i'd eat the candy canes left over from the tree at my mom's house. after that i'd visit banks, convention centres, grocery stores etc for food samples and open coffee/tea tables. make a cup, pocket a couple tea bags an as many cream and sugars as possible and move to the next one the next day

when i was little we ate a lot of hard luck mystery patties. i once survived on the dog's milk bones. hard times man
>>
>>7372967

> I'd rather die than steal

You sound like an idiot.
>>
>>7377181
Maybe you should try a job.
>>
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>>7376691
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>>7377203
i was 11 and homeless. you try it and do better.
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>>7377228
How can I try to be 11, anon?
>>
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>>7377236
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>>7367110
Ketchup soup which was boiled water and a fuckton of ketchup packets stirred in.
>>
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>>7375842
>my husband is a citizen of the country we live in because he gets his free government money for being crippled
>I'm not allowed to work in said country
>>
In Australia we (jokingly) have thing called seagulling, you sit at or nearby a fast food place, cafe or restaurant and when someones gets up to leave without finishing their whole meal you strike.

That or dumpster dive
>>
>>7370335
Why wouldn't a poor person be allowed on 4chan? Threads like these make me feel thankful that I'm so fortunate as to never be hungry.
>>
>>7378108
fuck off sjw cunt
>>
>>7374492
Burger king will hire anyone you dont even need to speak english
Thread replies: 129
Thread images: 11
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