Fast Food Autism Thread...

these threads are only fun when they seem real

>>7359137
i should have saved the receipt to shove it down your throat.

>>7359137
>these threads are only fun when they seem real

these threads seem only fun when they seem real on /r9k/ in 2005

FTFY

>>7359141
I'm purty sure /r9k/ didn't exist in 2005, but yeah the internet as a whole was more fun before post-ironic cynicism was the norm.

My most autistic moment lately was the manager of a burger place I go to shamefully often taking my order directly while the guy ahead of me tied up their only register. I paniced and mumbled something about one of their promotions and ended up with something completely different. It was about the same price, so I bought it anyway. This was weeks ago - the cookie I didn't want but paid for is still in my car.

>>7359135

I work in a restaurant (similar to Chipotle in price and style of service except without the e coli or norovirus) and I can honest to god promise you they did not give two fucks how much food you want to shove in your gullet. If they were laughing while cleaning the dining room, it was probably about some dipshit thing someone else in the kitchen said.

>>7359375
Freebirds?

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>hadn't eaten in over 24 hours
>girl I'm trying to bone wants to go out and eat something
>decide to go to steak&shake
>order two triple steakburgers, large fry, large onion ring and a red velvet shake
>devour every last bite like the fat retard I am
>she "wasn't feeling it"

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>walk into SmashBurger
>give my order to sperg blob cashier
>asks for my name
>its Dave
>dive?
>no, Dave, D-A-V-E
>mumbles "oh, d-i-v-e..."
>order ready, calls out for "DIVE"
>receipt reads "DIVE"

how socially retarded do you have to be to not recognize common names, replace them with fucking nonsense, in the context of ASKING FOR A NAME?

>>7359135

If you're not a fat slob they won't make fun of your order, hammy.

my autistic fastfood moment
>17
>moved out
>BK slave to pay rent
>order a fully customized Italian Chicken with employee discount for lunch everyday
>literally listing off like 6 mods to the cashier I work with

I didn't realize for a long time what a tool I must have looked like to the hispanics on the food line making them work extra for my silly ass lunch

>>7359404

>forcing your employees to order their food rather than just make it themselves

That must suck.

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>wendy’s drive thru
>speaker not working, have to order at the window.
>give my order to a cute mexican teen girl
>she asks “will that be for here, or to go?”
>i pause for a minute, at the DRIVE-THRU, ”.....to…..go?”
>she realized her mistake, gets flustered


she was cute, so instead of being angry, i was turned on and wanted to fuck her through the window

>>7359422
>instead of being angry, i was turned on and wanted to fuck
tfw

>>7359422
I'm a cashier and sometimes when we are busy, I accidentally say hi after a transaction.

>>7359432

When I work a register I have a patter I've developed because I have to ask the same fucking dumb questions to people 300 times a day. Sometimes things like "for here or to go?" will slip out of my mouth before I realize it doesn't matter, like if they're just ordering a soda.

>>7359422
>not clearly stating you want your order to go when you arrive at the drive through

>>7359422
>Not suavely turning it around and saying you'll enjoy your meal right there at the window

>>7359422
I hope you didn't tip her.

>at wendys for that excellent 4 for $4 meal deal
>old lady takes my order and its completed
>can I have a name to call you for when its ready
I don't really like my name to be called out, nor do i like my name
>oh they call me 'jay dubya'
>sir? you said JW?
>y-yes..

I get my ketchup and napkins and she calls out the name
>JAY DOUBLE YOU, YOUR ORDER IS READY

I felt like a retard because nobody calls me that and it just sounded so stupid without a thick southern accent. Why did I do that?

>>7359552
>Not comparing it to George Dubayah Bush's name

Come on man, you have to know how to use your name.

>>7359395
You would be surprised how many people in america don't know how to spell Daniel.

>>7359437
It happens to me too.

I once wrote what i wanted on a note and handed it to the cashier at McDonalds. So i didnt have to talk

>>7359395
>giving your real name
I always give a fake (but believable) name. Recently I have been using Robert.

>go through McDicks drive thru
>order a Big Mac and when they ask if I want the meal I say "just the burger"
>open up the Big Mac, it's just the bun and the patties

I am not the autist

>>7359375
Izzos?

>>7359877
Next time write your phone number on the back, and when you hand it over wink and say "you can keep that."

>>7359472
You said that in your head before posting it and thought it was suave.

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>>7359522
>tipping
>at a wendys

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>>7359448
>He doesn't order at the drive-thru then go inside to eat

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>>7359375
Wrong. I love pushing fatsos buttons. Am I blowing your cover? The more they know they're a joke the more they'll sweat at the register.

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>>7360219
Something like this happened to me when I was a kid.

>Be with aunt for the day
>We get some McDonalds
>Say that I want a burger but only want cheese on it.
I do not like ketchup, mustard, etc
>We take the meal to go and I begin to eat it in the car
>There is only cheese between two buns
>No meat at all

>>7360875

>order pizza with extra sauce
>receive pizza
>contains no sauce whatsoever

this has happened to me at like 3 different pizza places

>>7359422
oh m8

>at whole foods looking for nutritional yeast
>ask the nearest employee, who was a kind of cute chick
>chatting about wtf is nutritional yeast as she's helping me
>she's saying something, when all of a sudden she starts drooling
>she looked ultra embarrassed
>all I could think was how cute that was
should've asked her out right there tbhcam

>>7360953
>started drooling
I thought the story was about to take a dark turn as she slipped into a seizure and had to be carried off by medics.

>>7360953
>starts drooling
what, did she suddenly get a brains slug attatched?

>>7360996
It was just in the course of talking. I guess too much saliva had built up.

Whatever, everyone's drooled when they were talking at some point.

>>7359949
Ok, /g/.

>>7360875
I assume they knew exactly what they were doing and I find it hilarious.

>>7359949
>not telling them you go by The Todster, todzilla, sir tods a lot, todinstein, todasaurus rex, count todula, etc...
if your gonna use a fake name, may as well have some fun with it

>>7359395
Christ at least my name is both hard to spell and (apparently) unpronounceable
>Michaeline
I know it's my order because the person behind the counter stares at the ticket for too long, or they just announce what my order is.

>>7361061
I'd pronounce it michelin, like the tire company, am I even close

>>7361061
You're a 3 Michaelin Star poster :^)

>>7361102
that's the same company, the more u know!

>out running errands
>it's cold out, decide to hit the starbucks drive thru before heading home
>pull up to the speaker, voice says "thank you for choosing dominos how can I help you"
>confused, can't think of something to say
>the voice makes a sound like a laugh, but it's more of a genuine sob than anything

I was speaking to a broken man that day

>taco bell
>taco 12 pack
>drivethru guy asks "is this all for you?"
>I dread this question every time
>"no i give my step mum a few"
>I dont give her any

I buy a Mooyah burger with cheddar cheese, jalapenos, tomato, lettuce, and bacon. I sometimes add avacado and Cholula sauce

>>7361061
>Michaeline
Does it sound like the Bush song, "Glycerine"?

>>7359949
I do this to. My go to name is Rogero. Pronounced "Ro-jeer-oh". I'm a white guy with blue eyes and blonde hair so it always fucks them up

>be me
>girl I'm trying to bone wants to go out and eat something
>asks for my name
>order a fully customized Italian Chicken with employee discount for lunch everyday
>i pause for a minute, at the DRIVE-THRU, ”.....to…..go?”
>y-yes..
>go through McDicks drive thru
>We get some McDonalds
>contains no sauce whatsoever
>she's saying something, when all of a sudden she starts drooling
>the voice makes a sound like a laugh, but it's more of a genuine sob than anything
>I dont give her any

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Back when I still went to Taco Bell, before they did away with baja sauce.

>pull up to the drive-thru
>order
>pay
>get home
>no food
>call tb "ummm... did I kind forget to actually get my food?"
>"yeah, we still have it"
>mfw I got back to pick it up

>>7361171
lol'd for some reason

>>7361102
>>7361129
These are the most common ways to mispronounce it
>>7361201
Is correct

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Heres a screen cap of some robot who used to manage a mcdonalds.

Always gives me a chuckle

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>>7361187
Dude no one ever asks is this all for you when you order take out or drive through you autismo and if they do you should call up the manager after you leave and demand the employee be fired.

Or at the very least slap the tacos meat side down flat onto all the employee cars in the parking lot and then go back in and order some more tacos.

>>7361371

Autismo probably misheard "Is that all?" as in "is that your complete order?" as "are you going to eat all that yourself, fatty mcfatso macfatington the 3rd?" Projecting insecurities onto other people.

>>7359135
>drive thru at Hardees
>they hand me a milkshake
>huh is this free or something?
>hand me a big bag when i just ordered 1 burger
>dont even look inside and drive off
>make it to the right turn exiting the parking lot
>I can hear a "Sir!" behind me but pretend not to notice
>Got home and opened it up to 2 burgers 2 sides and a milkshake instead of 1 cheap burger and a soda
Didn't go back for months though

>>7361171
I can confirm this ALMOST happened to me, except I worked as frontdesk clerk at an hotel.

>>7361381
Dude fuck them its their fault.
Id go back there the next day and pretend like nothing was out of the ordinary.

I dont get how they can be "Oh sorry we fucked up your order" when they mess up and they even get upset with you like its your fault. Like I had to come back to the resteraunt to fix something thats so easy a godamn child could do it better. Youre literally looking at a fucking screen and putting the correct items in the bag.

But when they accidentally fuck up your order and make it better they chase you down through the parking lot.

I screamed "can you cunts shut the fuck up?" at a group of teenage girls at a taco bell. They were talking loudly about fucking dudes and getting their vaginas pierced and hadn't actually ordered any food, in my defence. I had also already asked the manager to do something, but he never did. The really autistic part was that I was there with my mom and we left because I was embarrassed when they just stared at me silently.

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>>7361216
Underrated post

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>>7359395
>ask for no to-mah-toes
>no... what?

>go to BK and order buffalo wings
>they give me hot wings instead
>have to argue with the retarded spic cashier for fifteen minutes
>walk out without even eating my food or getting a refund

I used an expired coupon at KFC and have been riding that High for about a week.
Anyone else got coupon stories?

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>>7361171
I've done this over the phone about a month or so after switching jobs.

Caught myself halfway through the restaurant's name, then quickly gave out the correct name.

>>7361531
That's totally unacceptable. They should have given you a replacement as well as a refund.

>>7359140

did you eat that too?

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>>7361216
cheeki

>>7361531
Did they try to explain it actually WAS buffalo? Zozzle.

I moved to a big city and I try to stick to the more local smaller places.
The atmosphere on how it feels to eat alone in a (usually) empty restaurant is a pretty big deal. Either the owners are chill and get to know you to some extent or theyre just uncomfortable with the fact you're there...

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>>7361640
>tfw "ay, Tomas!" every time I walk into Marco's

>>7361216
Well done

>>7361171
>>7361171
Kek. Dude had a long day. I hope he recovered.

>>7361216
Cheers

>>7359432

I've said "Love you" before after a transaction. I had been sort of daydreaming and gone on auto-pilot and I guess I decided to say that instead of "Have a good day!". I don't think the customer heard me, but I was at attention for sure afterwards.. Heart pounding out of my chest.

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>>7359135
or just stop eating 10,000 calories in one sitting and do some exercise.

>>7359135
You made the exact same post on r9k fuck off robot

>>7361363
Amazing

>>7361531
well meme'd

>>7361363
kek