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Cooking Cringe Thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /ck/ - Food & Cooking

Thread replies: 321
Thread images: 87
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Good ole /ck/ cringe thread?
Starting with an old favorite.
>>
>>7355329
>I don't want my food smelling like a touchdown
>>
the artwork and comedy style aside that's an ok, not particular great, chili recipe.

yes, everyone here can cobble something much nicer together but that '0guide' was made for no cooking skill, reddit fucks
>>
>>7355366
It was made several years before reddit was ever a thing
>>
>>7355329
>buying premade chilli spice mix just to throw it out
pourquoi?
>>
>>7355375
it feature a screenshot that came out 3 years after reddit became a thing. (i think thats fo3, but if NV make that 5)
>>
>>7355391
What? New Vegas came out afterwards. Bethesda had demonstrated they hadn't the slightest idea how to make a Fallout game and got some experts to do the best they could with their shitty engine.

Plus once a game is made it can be played at any time thereafter. I could make a Fallout 3 screenshot today if I had the will to load that piece of shit up again.
>>
>>7355401
I stated the screen shot made reddit atleast 3 y/o at the earliest, 5 y/o it was NV.

reddit was founded in 2005, fo3 came out in 08,NV 10. I should have put 'screenshot of a game' in my post but I think you should have been able to figure it out you fucking obsidian dick sucker
>>
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>>7355405
Of course I did. And I liked 1 over 2 and 2 over 3 and Tactics over 3 and BoS below everything in the world.
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>>7355419
>liking 1 over 2
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>>7355329
Jokes on you op, that dude has a pretty popular cookbook of that shit.
>>
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>>7355329
There are so many things wrong with the OP infographic but the one that really gets me is that he throws out the fucking McCormick prepackaged chili mix to replace with equally tasteless and dusty McCormick ingredients. Is this a joke?

Canned anything?
Green beans and fucking corn nigga?
Not browning your beef in chilies garlic and onion?
Why use fucking garlic powder when you have fresh garlic on hand?
Tomato sauce? Flour? Fucking coconut oil? wut.
I'm sure those "few healthy pinches of brown sugar" really added some flavor to the two goddamn gallons of tomato soup he made.
At least he used cracked pepper. Jesus Christ.
>>
>>7355490
>the one that really gets me is that he throws out the fucking McCormick prepackaged chili mix to replace with equally tasteless and dusty McCormick ingredients.
Same here, every time. Holy shit it gets to me. He doesn't even toast them, what the fuck.

>Is this a joke?
Unfortunately, no. He's got a bunch of these shitty recipes.
>>
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this was pretty recent
>>
>>7355472
Is that 'rach?
>>
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Anyone remember this old classic?
>>
>>7355595
Yeah. As does all the other boards, reddit, and tumblr
>>
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>>7355595
This shit is literally facebook tier now

Thanks reddit, and you wonder why we hate you
>>
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>>7355595
>>
>>7355721
I was there for that thread, fucking lol'd, bless whoever capped it
>>
>>7355726
We were all there. That shit was like 2 weeks ago
>>
>>7355726
shut the fuck up
>>
Saw this in another thread a while back

https://youtu.be/gcLTCvQ4ZuE
>>
>>7356504
>70
>36
>yah I can do that pretty fast

Before he was a fetus he belonged in the trash.
>>
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>>7355329
BUT WHAT DID HE CROSSOUT?!
>>
>>7355721
to be fair, deep-fried sushi can be really good if done properly
>>
>>7355405
>Implying anyone in their right mind liked Fo3 more than NV
>>
>>7356550

You can't deep fry sushi 'properly' you retardo.
>>
>>7356585
not him but lots of places will flash fry rolls, and, while a complete bastardization and insult to the very concept of sushi, its really fucking good.

pic related, my local place. left roll is the fried one
>>
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>keep it classy
>a PSP
>>
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>>7358008
there's nothing classier
>>
https://youtu.be/K-PKO2FrdPY

Flipipino style carbonara
>>
>>7358030
I like how Filipino it is. Those fucking hot dogs, kek.
>>
getting lunch from my local "nipponese" restaurant tomorrow; what kind of sushi roll should I order myself to partake in?
>>
>>7355329
>throw away well known brand premix chili
>mixes a spice blend from the same brand
>any beer you have at hand
>classy music
Well this shit got me
>>
>>7355490

It's probably more about getting the ratios right. I like more garlic and heat in mine than what comes in the packages.
>>
>>7356624

That would be great with eel, since they cook the eel anyway.

Also, eel sushi is best sushi.
>>
>>7356541
Something Haram. Didn't want to offend anyone.
>>
Why are y'all shitting on McCormick spices?
>>
>>7358043
Or chicken, it's your choice.
>>
>>7356624
>a complete bastardization and insult to the very concept of sushi

dear god, how pretentious and insufferable are you? Please enlighten us as to why, exactly, sushi "can't be fried" without being some kind of heretic crime against the genre?

you know what: fuck you and fuck your goddammed face. Sushi is simply a form of food, and ANYTHING that fits the form can be defined as sushi. I roll up refried beans, well done bits of steak, bananas, and ketchup in rice and wrap that in seaweed, guess what that's called: SUSHI.

now please kill yourself, Monica
>>
which one of you has the thread where anon made marie's authentic italian tomato sauce?
>>
>>7358185
NOT WILTED ENOUGH. Never saw it.
>>
>>7358177

he was defending it you door handle.
>>
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https://youtu.be/FbDHHbUbU-0
>>
>>7358177
>but muh traditions and culture
>>
>>7358185
I was there to see it. It was a hell of a coincidence too because it was the first time I came to /ck/ and the thread was just posted.
>>
>>7358412
fucking kek
>>
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>>
>>7358412

That is an affront to God
>>
>>7358177
Fuck off with your "it's a form". Sushi is fish, rice, seaweed, and occasionally a vegetable or egg. I want to slit my wrists when I read about your amerifat sushi burrito.
>>
Anyone have a link to the vid of a fat couple making spaghetti and the woman unleashes a massive wet fart while her husband doesn't react at all? Can never find it.
>>
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Presented without comment
>>
>>7358554
cringe how? looks like something a college kid would make or some drunk adults for novelty
>>
>>7358563
I figured if mediocre chili was cringeworthy then this particular altar of salt would at least be worth a "blech". My mistake, I guess.
>>
>>7358554
Sadly this is almost exactly what fastfood places are serving on their burgers and sandwiches
>>
>>7358030
non
>>
>>7355329
Such a faggot....

Won't use premade spice mix, but uses canned beans, tomatoes, corn, and green beans...

(Who the fuck puts green beans and corn in chill? Is that a regional thing?)
>>
>>7356541
A gun.
>>
>>7358602
Newfag, huh?
>>
>>7355388
>then mixing all seperate spices from the same brand.
>>
>>7355329
>drain the beef
>Bitches about cooking things live but adds canned food
Thanks OP it made me cringe on many levels.
>>
>>7358573
that guy probably knows his sandwich is total shit

The chili guy really thinks he is doing a good job.
>>
>>7358399
It looked like it had some potential until he just squirts in ketchup, yellow mustard, and sweet relish
>>
>>7358030
that is not filipino. it's just one bitch who can't cook.
>>
>>7358554
I unironically would eat and enjoy this if it was served to me.
>>
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>>7358900
>>
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>>7358900
>:25
>finger under knife
>slamming top of knife with rolling pin
>>
>>7356575
I only liked the guns like the chinese ones and the assault rifle
And the fact that you can fight chinese soldiers in that factory
>>
This still makes me cringe.
>>
>>7358900
My question is: How the dicks do you crack a coconut correctly?
>>
>>7355472
Install gentoo
>>
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>>7359023

Jesus fucking christ
>>
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>>7359023
>>
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>>7358535
upvote for interest
>>
>>7359053
well, in tropics they are fresh and shell is softer, so they just cut the top off with a machete

otherwise, the 3 little dimples are weak and can be pierced relatively easily or just use drill
once you drain it you use hacksaw or a mallet/hammer/tenderizer
>>
>>7359053

Pretend that the stem end and the point (where the 3 little dimples are) are the "poles". Using the back (blunt) side of a knife (or a hammer, or whatever else), tap around the "equator". You don't have to hit it hard. After several taps the coconut will naturally break in half along the "equator".
>>
https://youtu.be/MrcW5rqFUn0
>>
>>7358573
Also the sandwich is at least really cheap. I would have made that with my friends in undergrad. If it really feeds five (i'll say three), we could have a meal for a couple bucks a piece.
>>
>>7359128
That.
Or with a machete. Or with a hammer and nails (works great.) Or with a screwdriver.
Pretty much anything will work as long as you do not do it like in the video.
>>
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>>7359023
Nice and toasty.
>>
>>7355565
no cyka. that's just bad cooking blyat
>>
>>7359023
enjoy your salmonela
>>
>>7359023

I'm just sitting here thinking "please don't eat that please don't eat that please don't eat that"
>>
>>7358900

>women
>>
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>>7359332
just pop it into the microwave for a few seconds and it'll be fine!
>>
>>7359361
is there an album of these? they never fail to get me laughing
>>
>>7355721
Thanks to the based anon who capped this thing. Fuckin hilarious
>>
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>>7355405
Honestly don't see how anyone could like 3 over NV
>>
>>7359439
You guys are going to call me a pussy but whatever. A few years ago I bought Fallout 3 GotY edition on sale on steam. Played it for a while, then encountered the FUCKING GIANT ANTS THAT SPIT FIRE. Considering I have a horrible phobia for insects, it's been years since I've played that game.

Does New Vegas have giant insects? What about 4?
>>
>>7359463
Dunno about New Vegas, but 4 does. Giant roaches, mosquitoes, flies, and these things called Mirelurks which are really more of a crustacean than an insect but they might trigger you if you hate insects.
>>
>>7359463
Yes and yes
>>
>>7359463
New Vegas has giant roaches, scorpions, flies, mantes, ants and wasps. It's basically the same for FO4
>>
>>7359476
>>7359477
Mirelurks aren't that bad, but I guess the Fallout franchise is one I'll be avoiding.
>>
>>7355329
These drawings give me a headache. Am I too old for this?
>>
>>7358894
Really?
While I can't imagine taking a bite of that myself, I assume there are people who can.
But even then only with sausages fresh from the butchery, onion rings home-made out of fresh ingredients, better cheese.... I mean the fuck, all the the ingredients are trash!

Thinking about it, remove all the sausage, add plain normal beef patties and add something fresh like cucumber slices or lettuce.
Then it might actually become a good sandwich.
>>
>>7359463
NV has Cazadores, giant tarantula wasps
Skyrim has even bigger furry tarantulas that just drop from the fucking ceiling
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrm35u1be6o
>>
>>7358177
I've rarely seen this much wrong in one post. Well done, I guess.
>>
>>7359574
Why yes, if it was a totally different sandwich it would be much better. You're like the people who find a recipe for ice water and say "well I substituted bread for water and turkey for ice then added some cheese lettuce and tomato and this recipe really didn't quench my thirst at all."
>>
>>7355490
>Out of season tomatoes are better then canned
Kill yourself.
>>
>>7355405
NV>3>4
>>
>>7360142
Well, re-reading my post, I have to say, you're right. It would just be a completely different sandwich.
Conclusion: I'd hate that first sandwich and eat it only on the brink of starvation.
>>
>>7355405
Like any reasonable human being
>>
>>7359439
>Obsidian
>trustworthy
kek

Don't get me wrong, I love them, and they make good rpgs in concept, but I haven't played an Obsidian game that wasn't broken or glitched as fuck
>>
>>7355401
Jesus m8, read what he posted one more time
>>
>>7355329
What's edited out of the third panel?
>>
>>7360632

>>7356541
>>
>>7360641
But there's no serious answer there. Just someone asking the same question.
>>
>>7360157

I agree
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>>7355329
>>
>>7360665
Dohoho
I see what you did you clever little poster.
Has anyone ever told you that you should be a comedian?
I think you have what it takes.
>>
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>>7355329
>only one onion
>no hot peppers of any kind
>>
>>7358817
>just one bitch who can't cook

What do you think the majority of young flip girls are like? I work with a lot of flips, all their girlfriends are like that girl.
>>
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>>7358177

>sushi
>genre
>>
Anyone got the Irish soda bread faggot story?
>>
Irish stew guy? Anyone?

both of his posts would be appreciated
>>
>>7360817
>>7360830

heh
>>
>>7358399
>>7358810
>Cooking 2.5lbs of beef at once
>Cooking sweet relish
>four measly bags of ramen vs all that meat
Why
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>>7360894

i still can't believe how badly he fucked this up. i mean he'd clearly never experienced yorkies before, but if he'd done like 5 minutes of research he should've been able to tell that they're supposed to be completely different. let alone looked at pictures
>>
>>7358177
Points for being on topic.
>>
>>7360884
Play some footbaaaawwll.
>>
>>7358573
Thr chili being mediocre isn't what makes it cringe. It's the attitude and presentation that makes it cringe.
>>
>>7358516
>I want to slit my wrists when I read about your amerifat sushi burrito

well why haven't you then? It's not like anyone loves you, cares about you, or even know you exist outside of this board. Just fucking take a bath with a plugged-in toaster already.
>>
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>>7359092
If the spiral is what you're referring to that'd be Debian not Gentoo.
>>
>>7358516
btw, burritos are also a form. If I put gruyere, strawberries, fermented cabbage, 3 whole star anise, and bacon in a flour tortilla and roll that up, guess what it is: a fucking burrito.
>>
https://youtu.be/XqaV_4E37vo
>>
>>7358399
the dog knew it was a bad idea to add the relish and after the mustard it wished it was dead
>>
>>7359023
I audibly said "oh god that is disgusting"
>>
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>>7358399
>2.5lbs of beef
>beef flavor packets
>>
>>7359168
>6:23 Jack admits that he isn't likely to win bc most people agree that his food sucks
>>
>>7360957
u kno for sure that Jack Jr got a beating after this was filmed.
>>
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>>7359023
>>
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>>7359023

still horrifying even to this day
>>
>>7358048
Karifuonia roru, with extra kanikama.
>>
>>7360908
kek
>>
>>7355329
Gets me every goddamned time.
>>
>>7360955
I mean, in theory sure. But surely such a gastronomical horror would summon forth...ah, fuck it. You're right in that shit stuffed in a tortilla can be called a burrito. That's about it.
>>
>>7358441

this is the BDSM of food
>>
>>7358655
this
>>
>>7355401
reading comprehension is hard senpai
>>
>>7359053
i stab the eyes out, drain the water, and put it in the oven till it cracks

if i'm in a rush i put it in a bag and smack it against the wall
>>
>>7363366
>how hitler killed the jews
>>
>>7355490
Fresh tomatoes don't grow all year. Canned tomatoes taste better than "fresh" tomatoes in the supermarket on off-season. What is your aversion to canned goods?

I use low sodium canned beans because I just moved to a high altitude and even if you soak the beans it takes over 4-5 hours for them to become tender without a pressure cooker [which I don't have].

I sautee the onions, garlic, and chilis by themselves. I then remove them from the pan and add the ground beef. Then when the beef is browned I toss the spices/vegetables back in for a couple of minutes. I always find a few onions or random pieces of garlic won't cook evenly when I cook everything together from raw. Some garlic gets too burned, some chilis not cooked enough, etc.

Sugar is often added to soups and dishes containing tomatoes to balance acidity. Brown sugar works better with a beef brother than granulated.

All the other stuff I agree with, but some of it is just your opinion.
>>
>>7355721
I thought it was shitty, but semi-normal amateur sushi. That was, until the bacon was whipped out.

I've had americanized sushi with non-native ingredients, but at least they made sense. [Beef tataki roll. Has grilled rare sirloin, steamed asparagus, steamed carrots, and horseradish cream cheese]. That's the most American maki I've ever had, but it was pretty good because the flavors made sense.
>>
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>>7358412
>>
r8 my last "shit thrown together" """"chili""""

>chorizo sausage, out of casing, browned
>added diced onion to saute in sausage grease
>separate pan, dry roast jalapeno, bell pepper, and garlic cloves, dice
>to sausage and onion, add can of diced tomato, can of black beans
>add diced vegetables
>paprika, cumin, sriracha, hoisin sauce, soy sauce
>simmer for some time

idk it didn't taste bad and I had no plan. pretty cheap, got like 5 meals out of it.

>>7363410
the most Canadianized? sushi roll I've seen was the "Alberta Roll" where it was some slices of (cooked, not even tataki) albertan beef stuffed in a maki roll. kinda weird.
>>
>>7358399
I was hungry and now I'm not. Thanks
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>>7358900
Is she first time in the kitchen or what.
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>>7363472
>>7363488
What the fuck.
>>
>>7363488
This one is prime.
Isn't it from a show? (Always sunny I think?)
>>
>>7363490
All I got

>>7363492
Actually from the chan of four, but now that you mention it, yes. 'Milksteak', but can't find a clip.

http://imgur.com/gallery/izLKk7A
>>
>>7359463
did you ever consider to use that phobia and this games in your advantage? I mean, you could play on easy mode so you could kill them fast with no hassles and then as soon as you get used to it, you increase the difficulty level.
>>
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>>7363492
http://youtu.be/3tUX4tQ6m7U
>>
>>7363535
I was disappointed there was no actual milk steak in the clip
>>
>>7360954
its a meme you dip
>>
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>>7355329
>>
>>7359854
omg this guy sounds so beta i cant even

i'm just imagining him holding up a katana while wearing a trenchcoat
>>
>>7364088
To be fair it probably tastes great, just a mess of icing.
>>
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>>7364251
This is just sad.
>>
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>>7364258

I don't get it, some of that shit there looks tasty.
>>
"The man at the store said this would be the cheese you wanted. This is the one you wanted right?"
>>
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>>7364314
>60 of 70 calories are fat
>people think this is healthy because it doesn't have gluten or GMO
>>
>>7364277
Hmmmmm
>>
>>7364326
>fat is unhealthy u guise. trust me, i'm a food science person
>>
>>7359053
I like using a vice tool just squeeze till it cracks
>>
>>7358900
This makes me ill
>>
>>7364340
>eating slices of watered down soybean oil is healthy
>>
>>7355375
reddit faggot this came out ON reddit you dipshit, look at the "we're going live" meme plus the video game, you fucking retard cuck
>>
>>7358177
jesus dude who shit in this guys cereal?
>>
>>7363472

British_food.jpg
>>
>>7364263
>"Say 'yes' to"
Oh Lord no
>>
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>>7364277
after cooking
>>
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>>7363387
>>
>>7364326
>not reading that that is for the entire block
>not realizing how low cal each serving is
>>
>>7359023
>JOOOOOCY
>>
>>7365188
It's not though, there's 284 g of cheese and those nutritional facts are for only 28 g.
>>
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>>7365159
my fellow scholar!
>>
>>7364369
I agree with you, its not healthy, but its canola oil, not soybean oil you mong. you didn't even read what it was.
>>
>>7358030
>young fillipina
>Arabic writing on packages
>run-down surroundings

Poor thing has probably immigrated to the Arabian peninsula and is a maid to some Saudis.
>>
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>>7363488
>>
>>7366677
whelp

Now I feel bad.
>>
>>7364314
Cheddar's bad, mozz is very nice.
>>
>>7364369
it's not for health, it's to make stuff like vegan lasagna.
>>
>>7355418
Funny story
>me, in Starbucks
>wanted to know what the hype over "frappuccinos" was all about
>hi, can I have a frappuccino
>"vanilla or coffee?"
>both? (I thought it was vanilla flavoured coffee anyway)
>get frappuccino
>sipping tasteless white ice
>oh ffs
>its the blandest vanilla milkshake I've ever consumed
what even is a frappuccino
>>
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>>7364243
Dont talk shit about jello cake you fucking wastrel.
>>
>>7364374
It's from Funnyjunk originally
>>
>>7367207
ha ha ha
>>
>>7364258
i would be stoked to get that
>>
>>7355475
>Popular
>People buy into this guys bullshit
>Jokes on you op
Jokes on the idiots that bought the fucking books
>>
>>7358030
GOD HOW MUCH FUCKING GARLIC IS SHE USING
>>
>>7358554
C A N C E R
A
N
C
E
R
>>
>>7360894
HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS?
>>
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>>7358554
>reads top to bottom instead of left to right
>>
>>7359361
are there more of these
>>
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>>7358554
all that effort and you use FUCKING HOT DOGS AND AMERICAN CHEESE
>>
>>7368311

that was the first jack vid i ever saw

that, the pickles, party salad and poutine are all top quality


he's lost the magic recently
>>
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sharing with u guys a doner ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A93YUI6reM
>>
>>7358177
Coming up next: cheeseburger soup. No frying.
>>
>>7367486
I'm pretty sure I saw it on EbaumsWorld first, around '2000. Someone just shooped the screen, that used to be half-life.
>>
This comic is posted on the guys official webpage. It's not shop'd, it came out in August of 2011.
>>
>>7363488
What's wrong with milk steak?
>>
>>7368587

I FUCKING HATE THOSE CUNTS. Also who the fuck eats a doner with a fork. Also cunts need to close their mouths while eating.
>>
>>7368723
Milk steak and jelly beans, mother fucker.
>>
>>7358554
less than 10 dollars. 12 after tax...

Where the fuck do you live that you're paying more than 20% in sales tax on food?
>>
>>7364258
reverse cringe that looks fucking delicious
>>
>>7358066
Amen brother
>>
>>7358554
If you put some shredded lettuce, 2 slices of tomato and a sauce made of mixed mayo, ketchup and relish on top...you could sell that in most fast food joints for $20. There's about 4 servings there at $5 a pop
>>
>>7364270
I work with a guy who eats these every day
he doesn't know how I eat my lunch which is usually rice and veggies made the night before.
Tells me it's disgusting and he can only eat hot food hot

He's sat eating pasta covered in flavour dust
>>
>>7358399
what's with the comments on this video. apparently everyone loves it
>>
>>7363468
I would eat the shit out of that retarded kittza.
>>
>>7355366
>ok, not particular great, chili recipe.

>Do you have a McCormick Chili package?!
>Throw that away!
>Because we're going to use McCormick spices for chili!
>>
>>7355366
>made for no cooking skill, reddit fucks
It's chili. Decent recipes can be made for these people, it's fucking chili, it's easy as hell to make.
>>
>>7366677
>>7366748
probably been raped several times over
>>
>>7364314
You shut your mouth. Follow your heart is a well loved brand
>>
>>7364369
>expecting any cheese to be healthy
Why are you doing this
>>
>>7364251

=(
>>
>>7364251
don't bring these feels on me breh
>>
>>7356383

It was back last November, senpai.
>>
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>>7358399

>all those condiments
>>
I buy most of my spices at the dollar store.
>>
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>>7360894
>and when your mom is done carving the me you would suck up all the juices
>>
>>7370227
makes financial sense
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gk_wBDInQ8
>>
>>7358900
millenialcooking.webm
>>
>>7370797
why
>>
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>>7358412
First time I read this, I thought it was just your standard /ck/ "do literally everything wrong and pass it off as a master recipe" satire. Then I looked up the video.
https://youtu.be/c7Md4YR75qU
>>
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>>7370965
>>
>>7363428
Don't worry, my chili consists of throwing onions in a pan with oil, then the cheapest meat that i have on hand, browned and then tomatoes and whatever veg i have on hand, put whatever spice that smells good in, throw in """""""beans""""""" 30 minutes before i want to eat and bam.

Chili is supposed to be made with whatever you have at the time, people that need a recipe for chili need to learn to improvise.
>>
>>7371042
that's just 'something'. its NOT chili. chili is a very specific regional dish which consists solely of ground or finely chopped chuck, and peppers with spices. onion and garlic are debatable and not generally considered 'authentic' but are good anyways.

you don't get to just fucking combine things and give it a name thats already taken.
>>
>>7371093
Tell that to all the people out there who don't follow your specific instructions every time they cook "Chili"

You know what, just for you ill start putting "chili" in quotes so i don't trigger your 'tism..
>>
>>7371123

first of all, i didn't give instructions.

i stated a definition.

and its not MY definition, its about 300 years of mesoamerican tradition that has become part of southern americana, and even long before that the dish was quite simple: chop meat and boil with peppers.

your glib whim to call " stew including beef and tomatoes" chili doesn't make it chili. you described making "stew" or "goulash". its just a mystery pot. there is nothing wrong with it. but you can't call it spaghetti, or french onion soup, or hamburgers, or chili. because its not. and these nouns refer to specific categories of food objects.

sorry, bub, you're just wrong, and so is every 70 IQ housewife and slobby bob joe that makes up some hog slop food combination in their dirty kitchen to eat while watching some insulting trash on TV.

'I CAN CALL THINGS WHATEVER I WANT'

are you by any chance a tranny? or ponykin?

>>hurr being correct is autism, autism is when you call things by their proper name, if you're being wrong you're not autistic

lol
>>
>>7371143
Jesus christ, calm down, i've never dabbled in things like goulash, i didn't know, now i can call it goulash. I just called it chili because it was the closest thing i could think of.

Also are you seriosuly this mad about some stranger mis-naming something on the internet? Who gives a shit in the first place what i call it.

Why the fuck did you bring ponykin and tranny's into this, are you projecting? I was talking about what i call a "Chili" and you went full autist mode.
>>
>>7371162

i go hard in the motherfucking paint
>>
>>7371143
You know what, i retract my statement, fuck you, go look up chili on google and go yell at the millions of people who don't cook it in that direct way. I'll call my chili what i want to. It still has the base ingredients that a chili should be made up of.
>>
>>7371172

>>the fact that other people are wrong with me means that i'm right

>>if it has beef in it it is chili

wow

and you say i'm triggered...


"i don't give a fuck dude i'm gonna call it chili IM GONNA CALL IT CHILI I"M GONNA FUCKING CALL IT CHILI"

so you're going to call it chili. so what? i'm going to call you a faggot. being right is important. did you ever stop and consider that maybe success in life is about trying to do, think, and say, the right thing? and that everything you say and do and think is a self portrait? and that if you can't even apply the smallest effort to say the correct word when referring to an object, you're going to get shit in life, and be unhappy? did you stop and think that maybe i was trying to help you, and maybe people that aren't insecure faggots wouldn't break out in hives when told they're wrong, but would just thank the person informing them, and then alter their behavior? "it's just a cooking board on 4chan lol, i can be ignorant here". no. this is your fucking life. your willingness to be wrong so long as other people are wrong with you is alarmingly wicked and cowardly, or at least it would be if it wasn't as common as dirt. like you. fucking kill yourself and save someone else the trouble. "the beginning of wisdom is to call things by their proper name".
>>
>>7371193
Jesus, do you really think everyone is anal about correctly naming everything like you, you could serve my dish to literally anyone, and tell them it's my chili and they would say "nice chili". Not "Ohhh but that's not actually a chili, i'm a faggot and that's actually a -whaaawhaa booohooo. And what bullshit is this about "success in life", if you're implying that because i call my chili "chili", that i'm not going to succeed in life, you might be a little retarded. Success isn't based on getting everything right, success is getting things wrong and learning from your mistakes, but that wouldn't apply here, since chili has and can be adjusted to fit personal taste within reason. When i order chili at a restaurant, i expect something with some sort of meat, a tomato sauce and beans with vegetables, just like any other sane, rational human being. Just because you insist on chili only being "muh authentic chuck and peppers" Doesn't mean that anyone else does. Do you also think that anything besides a hamburger patty made with a specific grind of meat and specific buns isn't a hamburger anymore? Is a hamburger with pickles still a hamburger? What about lettuce? Does that make it a "meat patty with lettuce and pickles sandwiched between two pieces of bread". Just because chili technically means what you said, most people would still call what i make a chili. So why don't we just "chill" out about this whole "chili" deal.
>>
>>7371225
>>do you really think everyone is anal about correctly naming everything like you

no. again, you seem to think you have safety in numbers. but the truth is the truth and it will either destroy you or set you free.

society is going to burn, there is going to be anarchy, and i am going to fucking kill leftist scum like you.
>>
>>7368773
In Denmark we pay 25%
>>
>>7371236
>Leftist
Man someone's projecting hard today, since i am now convinced this is just you shitposting and being incredibly anal over something so minuscule as misusing the word chili, i'm going to bed. Goodnight chili guy, don't let the "leftist propaganda" goys bite.
>>
>>7364265
What's wrong? Babby's palette only like tendies?
>>
>>7371241
you don't use the word projecting right, either.

projecting is when you yourself are something, and accuse others of being it. a person can't 'project' being a lefitst. they are or they aren't. again, you are wrong and stupid. political ideologies can't be 'projected' like 'untrustworthiness' can be.

"miniscule"? nothing is miniscule. everything matters. if you fuck up in small matters you'll fuck up in big matters.
>>
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>Chilli shitposting
I love this board. Never change, /ck/
>>
>>7370797

This is amazing
>>
>>7371225
>>7371236
>>7371241

I'm mexican. if it has tomatoes we still call it chilli.

That is all.
>>
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>>7359416
>>7359438
I have quite a few. I'll post what I have.
>>
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>>7371342
>>
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>>7371343
>>
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>>7371342
>>7371343
>>7371344
you're a good man, anon
>>
does anyone have the guy who tried to cook a lobster for his gf while wearing cleats? starts off with "fuck you /ck/"
>>
>>7355688

>there's a lot of people laughing at it so I don't find it funny.
>>
>>7358554
Needs some ketchup.
>>
I have a friend who drowns everything he makes with a stick of butter and valveda cheese. He also uses leftover bacon grease to grease all his pans.
>>
>>7371377
>valveda

You dont get out much, do you anon?
>>
>>7355329
cringy for sure but the recipe is easy to follow and looks good. If he got ride of the edge and the little guy he'd have made a really good image
>>
>>7371093
>>7371143
>>7371193

i think the world has plenty of people with enough intellectual nuance to recognise the difference between historically authentic chili and things which are so named due to their general resemblance to chili. the name itself, after all, is hardly specific.
>>
>>7356624
Got a buddy who owns a sushi joint and he has half a dozen fried rolls on his menu. Shit is amazing. He is 100% 1st gen Japanese.

Butthurt "muh tradition" faggots: git rekt.
>>
I have the extreme urge to record myself cooking like a Marie , Ja/ck/, Chef John mashup right now
>>
>>7360957
Is it even legal in the USA/Jack's state to make an underage drink?
With all the carding stories I've read there, I doubt it.
>>
>>7364297
like Gordon?
>>
>>7355329
Besides the guy talking like a retard, I have issues with the recipe itself. Maybe I'm wrong but:
> chili powder
Isn't it already a mix ?
> onion and garlic powder
Why ? Also why so little onion compare to the meat but 4 cloves of garlic ?
> Everything in cans
No comment
> Putting corn right off the bat
Isn't it like 10 minutes before it's down max ?
> Using chopped meat and not diced
My main issue, I've always heard diced is better if you have good meat, just take longer to steer.
> Coconut oil
Why nobody here already killed that guy ?
> Beer
Because white wine doesn't exist anymore ?
> brown sugar and more sugar
why so diabetus ?
> floor in the mix
In case in diced mix, do you sometimes rub them in floor before sauté them ?

also
WHERE
IS
THE
SALT
>>
>>7371342
>>7371343
>>7371344
MOAR
>>
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>>7371344
>>
>>7371239
Wow. In America, my state at least, there zero tax on any food items.
>>
>>7359854
This voice... I can't even.
Did he voice the South Park episode where they caricature this tone?
Can he be more American than wanting all his food to be fat and spicy?

I think I cut myself on this video's edges.
>>
>>7370797
KWEFT MEEWEEKUL WEEP
>>
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>>7359854

>skipping around
>hear "savage as fuuuuck"
>turn it off immediately

Jesus Christ
>>
>>7360894
sauce on video?
>>
>>7364115
>>7371802
>>7371825

it's a funny video, when will you people stop being so judgy and unfun
>>
>>7358399
jesus fucking christ
>>
>>7358399
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_KiNR7ZSgE thsi guy commented on that very vid says good idea rick
>>
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>>7358441
>>
>>7368587
Isn't it amazing how every doner kebab around the world comes in the same wrapper?
>>
>>7368587
>ASMR

This isn't ASMR, her voice is all wrong, absolutely disgusting.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Xkg8FsVtY
my friend was telling me how he loved this stuff and eats it all the time.
>>
>>7372218
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVza_AnhQ3E
>>
>>7372218
>>7372225
good 'ol boys did it better
>>
>>7370797
>Eats miracle whip straight from the jar
>Only 7/10
>>
>>7358399
This entire channel is a goldmine.
>>
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>>7355329
Why the fuck would you make chili at 2am?
>>
>>7372324
while he's retarded, wouldn't 2am chili be perfect for a crockpot.
>>
>>7364314
>canola oil

Enjoy your block of rancid oily fake cheese. Throw your self in the garbage if you buy this shit.
>>
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>>7370797
>>
>>7355388
>then using premade chili spice mix same brand different container
>>
>>7370797
This is incredibly american.
>>
>>7355556
my dad actually tried to make risotto like this once
>>
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>>7364088
this is funny to me because just 2 days ago my girlfriend's grandmother sent us a king cake as well

here it is in all it's glory
>>
>>7364494
Usually I chop the head off first in order to kill the chicken but idk
It's good if the stuffing is tasty
>>
ITT: absolutely no cringe at all
>>
>>7372659
King's cake is fucking tasty though
Maybe not that moldy bit near the bottom left but at least the little baby made it through
>>
>>7355366
>was made for 0 cooking skill
Then why does it leave out basics like how to brown meat and how to saute? Why does it leave so much possibility for error? It's nowhere near idiot proof, and nowhere near relevant to a competent cook. It's completely useless.
>>
>>7372659
More like king flood diarrhea...
>>
>>7371372
>captcha asking me to indentify seafood
>>
>>7371763
Someone is going to have to explain this since I Dont drink coffee.
>>
I want to post this one cooking thread from another board but it breaks a global rule. Do it anyways?
>>
>>7370797
>Kwaft Meeweekew Weep
>>
>>7373104
Just link to it.

>>>/tv/65966958
>>
>>7373104
>>7373201

I'm guessing that anon wanted to post a screen cap of a thread. (Probably a thread from the pony containment board I'm guessing)
>>
>>7372910
thanks anon
>>
>>7373088

You see, anon, the image never states how salt and vinegar specifically play into the coffee's brewing process, therefore the instructions are open to an absurd and comical amount of interpretation.
>>
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>>7372910
it's truly amazing how one man can be so stupid
>>
>>7359854
His voice....I just want to punch him until whatever the fuck is wrong with him is fixed.
>>
>>7360830
What's Irish Stew Guy?
>>
>>7361014
We need to go beefer.
>>
>>7368587
Her smacking made me want to strangle her. Fuck that was annoying.
Thread replies: 321
Thread images: 87
Thread DB ID: 511010



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