Jack's newest video is really cringy.
He still has absolutely no clue about food. Don't you remember that canning video he posted very recently? What about the numerous Jack on the Go episodes where he explains the seasoning is good but goes into no detail what so ever as to why? I almost get that he offers retard cooking advice to retards but I have no idea why he thinks he can review food. The only detail he ever goes into is the subjective good/bad, which means nothing to anyone since we don't know how his tastes compare to ours.
>I have to throw away MILK cause it's now room temperature
>All these hucksters claiming they'd keep room temperature milk for later consumption in the year 2016
Jack once again shows the holes in the product's system. You need a scale in addition to the scale to actually use this piece of garbage to full effect
facebook post by some slag who thinks she is the lord of can town. I do not know how valid her criticism is, but it preceding Ja/ck/'s removal of the video
beautiful moist chicken, so tender and delicious.
Have I ever told you about my sauces? they're not just oversalted viscous crap, they're also undercooked, BAM I even made a shitty teriyaki sauce, BAM THERE IT IS.
Now back to the cooking with ja/ck/ show.
YOODIE HOODIE YOO, DOO YOODIE HOODIE
if you shave off that extra botulism purging time, that's money in your pocket. Penny wise pound foolish
I don't understand why he isn't even trying to turn it over. At the 8 second mark he sort of turns it over but then drops it back down again and gives up before any touches the top.
What a salty little bitch.
Trying so goddamn hard to blame the product for every little thing.
And when I comment on his videos to point out actually dangerous flaws in his "cooking" I'm a troll. Starting to actually hope this fat fuck gets food poisoning.
This is what happens when you try and do a home abortion. Now we have to wait for natural selection to finish the job.
Look at that...
They suck. Washing them is not very comfortable and they have like 4 moving parts and 2 seperate parts, so you have to clean up a whole lot of stuff for just chopped onion. you will get triangles and some mouse au onion, as the mechanism is rotating so you will have very fine chopped onion in the middle and bigger triangles elsewhere. even a fries press would do better.
will never use again. 2/10
That's a good ja/ck/ image
don't thumbs down his vids, Jack takes his feedback very seriously. Do not want him to get discouraged when the quality of the video is actually pretty decent
>eat burgers like tacos
>eat tacos like burgers
His technique is literally through all the trash in house in a pot
This madness must end
As much as I hate to say it, I have to agree with his final review of the product. He fucked up a bit while using it, but measuring your own ingredients without the use of a wifi scale and an app just seems like less of a hassle. Also, $50 for 3 plastic bowls and a scale - fuck dat
I'm betting the reason he cut straight to the butter is because he notices that it said "at room temperature". Realizing this he might of nuked his butter in the microwave for a few seconds and then threw in his bowl.
Also I haven't baked in awhile but isn't the reason lumpy is because he didn't creamed the room temp butter with the sugar, then combine the rest?
if you want to fuck jack, email bitstrips, he is using BitStrips in videos that are monetized and selling aprons with BitStrips on them
safe money is just him dying of obesity. This guy eats like a garbage disposal and has diabetes and is a stroke survivor. If you don't change your life you will die, and he does not seem to be changing his lifestyle.
Gotta put that sauce on somepin'
I may be being optimistic, but Ja\ck\ is a business man, worked in Radio... I'm sure he legally OK'd using bitstrips before making it his emblem.
Look at all the crazy free kitchen shit he reviews, and all the local businesses he constantly plugs. He probably talked to their office and is paying them in The Best Sauce You'll Ever Taste ~~ Hot BBQ desu.
>Makes a big fuss over little things
>Doesn't know that ml = g
>That milk fiasco that I literally still don't understand at all
>Trying to "trick" the software/product
>/ck/-tier autism about amounts (What does about three eggs mean?) when it literally digitally informs you how much you need anyway
>Talks shit the whole time then at the end metions "it's beautiful" and looks better than Jack's usual baked goods
If he thought the product was shitty and a waste of time then why even bother recording it? Oh yeah, views and shills.
Anyways I'd never buy that but I'm sure he just didn't use it correctly then blamed it.
>He hates chopping onions
Nigga, why haven't you got your goggles yet?
>Even the viewers weren’t safe from Scalfani’s twisted vision.
"One time I commented 'raw' and Jack replied and said 'what if someone just stood in the middle of my kitchen and yelled raw? Maybe the viewers would forget their trained routine of sending recipes' My jaw hit the floor and it never really came back up. That's when I thought, is he getting in character to be a food poisoner, or is it something that's been in him all along?"
"Sometimes I would go to look at the videos, and I noticed Jack had put annotations on the side. It was stuff like 'What if I overcook my meat? Would you buy The Best Sauce You’ll Ever Taste?' and 'Moist. Juicy. Chicken.' I had to ask him to stop because I was getting salmonella."
Because so many middle aged desperate bitches are sucking his virtual cock non stop.
The only critics of his videos are legitimate cooks, chefs, and /ck/ (and we critique him and his habits as much as his food)
>Why the fuck doesn't he edit out his dumbassery?
Because he thinks the "appeal" of the show is that he's an average Joe who's a clumsy chef. The only thing is, he doesn't realize that the average Joe isn't actually brain dead like he is.
Well you see, anon, this is a REAL show, like nothing else on youtube. He's just an average joe, cooking normal food (Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad for example). It's like you and him, hanging out in the kitchen.
If you watch his reaction when he eats it with sound, there's amoment where there's silence and he's chewing and he realises what he's done before letting out the fakest "mmmm" ever.
>Uses a knife to cut the onion
>Instead of just continuing to use the knife he uses the slap chop
What's even the point then?
Also I feel like Jack's knife tutorial with that chick is equally kek and doesn't get enough love on here.
When it comes to milk yeah, you can pretty much say that. Milk, juice, whatever, approximately it's the same. Truth, it's way more accuarte to mesure it appropiately but as a very good approximation it is enough to do so with most liquids in baking.
That fucking arm thing he does after he takes a bite. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh it enrages me.
here's his sub /r/cookingwithjack
if you disable the style you can post links
I think we should spam it with memes as the moderators aren't really around
For the sake of a rough estimate on milk, yes.
What was it? 225 g? I'd have poured, without measuring, about a quarter of a carton, which contains a liter. If I'm a little bit off I'll either add a tiny amount of cold milk or drink a tiny amount of room temp. milk.
This useless asshole has no excuse for creating these issues to make the product look bad. Especially when you consider how fucking sloppy he is in every other video he's ever posted.
Hell, I'd settle for him admitting he's shit at it.
What really gets me is that some of the shit he's teaching is downright dangerous and he refuses to accept criticism on it. Jack can legit end up causing somebody's death.
>when he gets all emotional defending his channel
I like his videos. He's just a normal dude with severe lack of knowledge in some areas of cooking and he shows his failures and mistakes unlike other YouTube cooks who just show a perfect end result.
it's weird how a devoted subreddit has less discussion about ja/ck/ than any of the threads on /ck/ at any given time.
Redditors apparently homosexual and unable to tolerate food borne illness.
theres no time for real chicken or chopping tomatos ok, this is lazy mans recipes
>you will never fuck Tammy's soft, gelatinous, sex-deprived body till she's in tears of pain while Jack watches from a distance shyly sipping his disgusting, splenda-sweeted Starbucks venti latte
>tfw you serve you beloved bread winner and cool dude son beautiful, juicy chicken breasts with a side of zesty mayonnaise and bean salad. Our god is a loving god
>Interests: going to church, bowling, computers
This dude is a culinary broadcaster and doesn't even have one food related item highlighted in his publicly accessible facebook page.
That's when I started to wonder... was cooking and food even important to Ja/ck/ at all?
Lol what do you think? His show is for attention, nothing more nothing less. He gets a little money from views and he has an outlet to shill his sauce. Jack Jr even confirmed they always eat out and he only cooks for that show.
I think that borders on blasphemy, but I dunno. If you were not exposed to WWJD bracelets, then I envy you.
Also he has Top Chef in his interests, so I guess I missed that item while laying into him for being casual as hell.
He only makes these videos to promote his sauces and for youtube money. I thought everyone knew this already...
Jack Jr even admitted that Jack only cooks for his youtube shows.
>tfw Tammy will never force jack to his knees and have him dip your cock in the Best Sauce You'll Ever Taste,™ then suck it clean, then dip it again and suck, repeatedly, until he either finishes the whole jar or dies from excessive blood sugar
>I don't have time to cook chicken breast
Seriously, go to fuck yourself Jack.
Aunt Myrna is an eternal trans-dimensional abomination, please do not directly engage.
what a piece of shit. he's a food fetishist. he insists on documenting every bite he takes in some pornographic fashion and always uses words like "moist" and "juicy" to describe his foods, as if he was describing a vagina. fuck you jack.
are you trying to say that "Beautiful" is a verbal crutch that an experienced broadcaster should ideally know enough not to rely upon?
>Takes an entire year to do a viewer requested video
>Can't even use real chicken because "He doesn't have time"
Fuck, I would rather he didn't touch my recipe then to present it with such a half-assed attitude.
I'd like to lie on my side on a wooden beam suspended from the ceiling in front of Jack (who is standing), such that our mouths are parallel, and lick his mouth like I'm eating out a pussy.
for some reason fat men eating restaurant food on camera is a commodity people are interested in
>So everything has teh same density as water?
A pint is a pound of water, butter, milk, or eggs.
Ja/ck/ has a P90X update at the beginning of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHZRy1dljYE
What a fucking knob
>Too Much Sugar in Diet
>Finally has stroke
>Gets "Wake Up Call from God"
What does Jack do?
>Cuts out Caffeine
>"Healthiest in four years"
>Eats Chicken Alfredo a few days later
This guy was posted on /v/ and I had to find out if it was real
Who the hell is this abomination? Where did he come from? Why is everything he makes so undercooked? How has he not been made ill by these things that he makes? Who out there thinks that the way he cooks, especially meat, is acceptable?
I have so many questions
Ja/ck/ plays vidya too, his PSN id is jakatak69
>Who the hell is this abomination?
Jack Scalfani aka jakatak69, Youtube "celebrity" and terrible cook.
>Where did he come from?
California. Then he decided that he'd had enough of California schools teaching his children that everyone had to be gay (or some such nonsense), so he packed up his shit show and moved to Tennessee to be closer to a pastor who murdered a lady and thinks we should napalm Palestine.
>Why is everything he makes so undercooked?
It's not unercooked, it's JUICY.
>How has he not been made ill by these things that he makes?
Because the FDA and the meat industry actually a pretty good good of keeping our food from not being contaminated. But with all his health problems, I'd be surprised if he noticed an extra case of salmonella.
>Who out there thinks that the way he cooks, especially meat, is acceptable?
No one who knows what they are doing. I can only assume that his fanbase primarily consists of facebooking flyover state housewives and shut-ins.
Very good sum up
But I recall him talking about the napalming palestine, but never heard that same pastor murdered a lady?
I do not want to play videogames with this man. I was perfectly content not knowing this man existed, but here I am
>It's not undercooked, it's JUICY.
I am not a chef. I can cook with a lot of help from a cookbook and even then I sometimes get it wrong. But even I know there is a difference between a chicken thigh being juicy and whatever the fuck >>7322035 is. No one with all their mental faculties intact would look at that and think "I want to put that in my mouth"
Also his BBQ sauce looks like garbage, and given he lives in Tennessee he needs to be run out of town on a rail for that shit
>if by any means what has happened to me can help you guys... do not drink caffeine, don't work 8 hour days
Yeah, way to spread health awareness Jack, at no point should you mention that you're 5'7" and 280 lbs, it was probably the coffees. Godjesus be praised
I get that you were being facetious, but this guy must actually believe that, or else he would cook his food through. Not eating raw chicken is essentially instinctual at this point, and he's willing to toe that line for what exactly?
It's not just being a bad cook, that's being willfully stupid and I just can't understand
It's good to have friends to share "food and cooking" with
it's like a woman's retreat, but everybody is walking away with sticky buns (if you understand what I mean, but really I think it is probably some church related fellowship thing~~ kind of a social group for people who already go out of their way to socialize with each other)
>I don't like pancakes, it's just starch with sugar poured on top
Yeah, it'd probably be better if you poured three different kinds of Campbell's soup into it, layered two fucking pounds of salsa and shredded cheese on top and mixed it all in a pot of boiling whipped cream, you diabetic freak.
>This guy was posted on /v/
I've heard he was posted on /tv/ before as well. Has Jack memetic status increased to the point other boards are becoming aware of the madness?
I have no idea if this good or bad.
I learned about Jack through a myg0t clan member uploading Jack videos to his YouTUbe page.
I knew about Jack before though. I was unfortunately enough to discover and watch his videos for a little while when they were only getting a couple hundred views each. Brought a huge smile to my face when I saw he became a lolcow like eight years later.
>Connie Scalfani, Jack's mother featured on the video died back in August 24, 2011. I want to express my heartfelt condolences to the Scalfani family. For those who didn't know that, I'm sorry to bring you this news. RIP Connie Scalfani.
Nobody has brought up how *Jack believes in the fucking illuminati" yet, so
*Jack believes in the fucking illuminati*
I'm sure he blames all of this problems in life on them, too: Stroke, youtube trolls, choking his kid.
>ready made pancake mix
Why? Just why?
I mean I can understand that you get readymade soup stock or stuff like that, because that takes a lot of time and stuff to make, but pancake mix? How dumb can one be to need that shit?
also, that product is retarted, because every time you flip it, you essentially start anew, in a cold pan...
I think it is, weirdly, and it even is a dish that he always says he is totally ovewhelmed with!
(Probably because it requires more than just 5 ingredients, he even says its the most ingredients intense he has ever done (see screenshot) and because it requires other techniques than opening cans and putting cheese on top of the cans contents).
I can count at least 16 things in the screenshot alone, so that is even more things than he has fingers, so it is quite easy to get overwhelmed.
Plus, a lot of the things requires some form of cleaning, cutting and other preparation, so that is actually quite the challenge! Normally, only 5 star chefs at fancy places can do such elaborate things, but here's an everyday normal guy showing how it's done!
The more of his lazy man's videos I watch the more autistic he gets
>doesn't know how to fillet
>complains about the salsa looking nasty
the fucker buys the most disgusting looking chunky (yet some how piss watered) salsa, and he complains about a fresh fucking salsa being nasty?
this fucking goy
The only way him and his cronies are ever able to describe food on Jack on the Go videos is by saying that "it's got good seasoning" or "it's fresh". It's like they honestly aren't even trying to improve
>in which jack exerts too much tard rage, breaks the product a bit then complains
But in this case, you can't really blame him. Those TV things never work, and you can just see from looking at the device that it is utter crap.
here's some more rare jack:
I'd love to have jack Jr eat peanut butter and drink milk and breathe in my face all day. Id just lie in a lounge chair sniffing deeply as he ate scoops of peanut butter, drank milk, and breathed in my face.
Jack Jr learning the ways of the Big Boy Bite
A wise man once told me of a farmer that used cow manure to fertilize his crops. One year the farmer lost half of his herd and did not have enough fertilizer for his fields. So, the farmer, needing to fertilize, used what he had and spread it thin.
Mean anything to you country bro? Cause I have no idea what his point is
fair enough, I would see it as under-fertilizing all your crop, which could potentially bankrupt the guy, depending on the crop, but maybe that's just splitting hairs. Doesn't really have enough details to tell either way