itt: autistic shit you do in the kitchen
>heat up canned soup on the stovetop
I once mentioned to someone that adding a salt packet to her Ramen was pointless given that half of the flavor satchel was already salt. She gave me the filthiest look anybody has ever given me and proceeded to ignore me.
>eat bowls of siracha with little spoon
>eat raw meats
>cannot eat apple without cutting it up, preferably covered in cinnamon
>weigh all food before eating or else get really anxious
>broccoli dipped in ketchup
>go into pantry and read nutrition labels for half an hour
Stay outside kitchen as much as possible while cooking out of fear that the oven will explode. Shit's old.
People complain I leave the stove unnatended, I tell them to suck cocks.
THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE CANNED SOUP
>slop that shit in a nonstick pot
>put your seasonings in (black pepper, red pepper flake, onion powder, garlic powder, etc. you could also get "fancy" with it)
>put on low for at least an hour
>stir it up to get rid of that soup skin
>put in bowl
>put in/on garnish
Seriously, it's like night and day difference. Even without the gay shit like seasoning or garnish, just putting it on low for an hour transforms it into non-shit.
Microwaved grilled cheese
Licking melted butter from frying pan
Eating soup straight from can cold
Drinking pickle juice
Thawing McCain mini pizzas and eating them room temperature
Never ever drinking water
>Licking melted butter from frying pan.
How do you not your entire face?
Who the fuck eating canned soup is willing to invest an entire HOUR into heating it up, holy shit.
If I'm eating canned soup for the night, I'll pretty much just roll with it.
I'm sure it's much better tho
>Microwaved grilled cheese
Although I don't make that specifically, I often put cheese (real cheese, not American) on top of toast with garlic powder and Parmesan in the microwave. It's god tier running-low-on-supplies food.
When I deep fry something, I MUST time it to the very second, it has to be perfect timing or ill be really flustered.
I also read nutrition labels on cheap foods to find the "best" one. Store brands seem to be the best contenders.
I put hot sauce on almost anything.
When I clean a bowl to use it, it has to be completly dry until Ill use it. I refuse to use a bowl if it has even one drop of water in or on it.
Canned stew is actually not bad. The whole point of stew is food cooked together for several hours, so that all the flavors combine and develop together. Canned stew is this effect taken up to eleven. It's cheap as fuck, filling and healthy. I usually fry some carrots and onions, cook rice in the juices and some broth, season it up and pour a whole can of pea or lentil stew over it. Best poverty meal out there.
I boil my hotdogs in a pot of water instead of hearing them in the microwave. I feel like they come out more juicy and plump, and you can't really over cook them, they just get better the longer they're cooking.
i am heating up some frozen lasangna on the heating as we speak, i also eat raw sausages (pic related) i like to punish myself with food.
>sprinkling dried, minced onions on everything even when i have actual onions laying around
>mixing french mustard with normal mustard/hot sauce to make it kick
>ejaculating into personal meals
>microwaving entire bags of chopped vegetables (usually inside weak plastic container)
>using nacho cheese for everything (even pizzas)
>never microwaving water
I get pretty autistically mad over people touching the food I am preparing
Even if they're just rearranging things I hate it when people touch my shit
I once even got mad and didn't eat dinner because my mom disturbed my plating
I am terrified of food borne illness and whenever I work with meat I freak the fuck out.
When my hands touch raw chicken breasts I feel like my hands are covered in poison so any surface I touch thereafter needs to be cleaned immediately before I forget. I constantly wash my hands when prepping chicken. It's becoming a problem because of how much time I waste running to the sink.
Not really the kitchen but I lose my mind when I order a burger and they don't make it plain and dry. I have to slowly tell them "meat, cheese, bacon, bun, nothing else...meat, cheese, bacon, bun, nothing else" and then when they still put other shit on it I have to contain my rage while I go back up to the window. even thought I know it's just food it opens up some primal rage in me if I don't get my burger plain and dry.
It's canned soup. It's already cooked, you're just heating it up. Now, if you're adding extra ingredients and cooking those, sure. Cook it properly. Otherwise, the microwave is easier and gives the same result - warm soup.
That shit is valid if you've worked in a kitchen and the chucklefucks haven't. Don't touch my goddamn temperatures or timers, don't re-arrange my mis en place, and don't fucking stand there jerkin' it in San Francisco when I'm coming through hot.
Sometimes there's a deal on where you get too much pizza to eat right now. Order two different pizzas, eat half of each and throw the rest straight in the fridge for breakfast. It's god's way.
I cook batches of chicken thighs in the oven and then store them in the freezer to use them later... but I don't like freezing them with the bone still on them, so as soon as they're done cooking I use my hands and mouth to break all the chicken off from the bone and then put it into containers to go in the freezer... I don't even care about getting my own mouth germs on it because I'm the only one eating it.
love cold pizza and milk..
you need a cupful of apple seeds to die of cyanide poisoning
the seeds need to be crushed, otherwise they will just pass through you
if you don't die from the poisoning, you basically killed your brain, enjoy being a burden of a vegetable to your family
Whenever I'm cooking, I occasionally have to put my hand over the fire to feel the heat. I do this every time, especially with charcoal grills.
>turn gas over/stovetop on
>is today the day I'm going to die?
I refuse to eat anything with onions in it no matter how finely they are chopped or crushed.
Green/Red/Yellow peppers all taste the same; like shit.
Mushrooms are tasteless sponges with the texture of something alien.
This is very autistic of me but whenever I cook dinner for me and my gf, I have her suck my dick while I'm cooking. It helps me relax. I can't really cook unless she's sucking my dick. I find it one of the best parts about cooking.
i'm autistic about materials.. i can't eat with/from anything plastic, styrofoam, aluminum etc.
one time my dad's ex-wife served me food on a melamine plate and got all uptight when i switched to a ceramic one
>who the fuck uses plastic plates when ceramic ones are just as easily available??
i don't get takeout that comes in styrofoam
i avoid restaurants that serve drinks in plastic cups
..that sort of bullshit