itt: autistic shit you do in the kitchen >heat up canned

That's... That's how your supposed to cook it? What the fuck would you do? Microwave it?

what about seasoning canned soup to save it from its crippling blandness, is that wasted effort too

>>7293871
Clean constantly.

>>7293871
>>heat up canned soup on the stovetop
that's not autistic, it's literally in the directions m8.

What I do is heat it directly on the stovetop, puncturing a small hole in it beforehand so the can won't explode.

>>7293871
If I really have to piss I just do it on the dishwasher.

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wash onions

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>>7293891
Yes

I wash my can opener. I go through several a year.

>>7293871
I bring my water all the way to the boil when making black tea.

>>7293918
>adding salt to canned food

>>7294184
Like...the appliance? And if it isn't the appliance, why does washing a manual can opener result in you "going through" them?

>>7294215
Manual. I don't drain them properly before putting them in the drawer, so they end up rusting.

>>7294221
Rust yes but it usually just stays in the draining board.

>>7294200
>be American
>salt Ramen

I seriously do this.

>>7294242
I once mentioned to someone that adding a salt packet to her Ramen was pointless given that half of the flavor satchel was already salt. She gave me the filthiest look anybody has ever given me and proceeded to ignore me.

>>7294254
I would behave in a similar manner.

If I'm cooking at home, I'll clean up everything (including the pans) prior to eating a meal. Helps me relax knowing that there isn't a mess waiting for me.

>>7294254
Hamplanet gonna planet

That's not autistic. You don't know what autistic means. It's time to stop using that word.

>>7294200
there are other seasonings besides salt

Take a mug, one egg,1 spoonful of oil, chocolate flavoring, sugar, and flour.
Enjoy my personal quick biscuit

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>eat bowls of siracha with little spoon
>eat raw meats
>cannot eat apple without cutting it up, preferably covered in cinnamon
>weigh all food before eating or else get really anxious
>broccoli dipped in ketchup
>go into pantry and read nutrition labels for half an hour

>>7293871
>>7293891
>>7293930
if theyre autistic what they probably are trying to communicate is they set the can on the element and wait for it to heat up.

>>7293936
I put mine on the radiator for a few hours. Gives a little pop when I open it, nothing scary.

>>7294990
more

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Stay outside kitchen as much as possible while cooking out of fear that the oven will explode. Shit's old.

People complain I leave the stove unnatended, I tell them to suck cocks.

>>7293871

How is that autistic?

Anything cooked on the stovetop will always taste better than microwaved shit.

>>7294990
>>go into pantry and read nutrition labels for half an hour
good god

>>7295073
>Being so autistic that you think you can taste a difference
No different from panicking when your carrots touch your peas on the plate.

THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE CANNED SOUP
>slop that shit in a nonstick pot
>put your seasonings in (black pepper, red pepper flake, onion powder, garlic powder, etc. you could also get "fancy" with it)
>put on low for at least an hour
>stir it up to get rid of that soup skin
>put in bowl
>put in/on garnish
>done

Seriously, it's like night and day difference. Even without the gay shit like seasoning or garnish, just putting it on low for an hour transforms it into non-shit.

>will not eat anything with sauce, makes me want to get sick

>blend a mix of at least 80% vegetables, fruit, spices and water together and drink it

>wash hands like a surgeon

>>7295039
Not much else, besides eating seasonings, eating garlic cloves, mixing coffee with soda,and using small utensils and plates.

But those aren't really that autistic

Microwaved grilled cheese
Licking melted butter from frying pan
Eating soup straight from can cold
Drinking pickle juice
Thawing McCain mini pizzas and eating them room temperature
Never ever drinking water

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>>7295124
>Licking melted butter from frying pan.

How do you not your entire face?

>>7295124
>Drinking pickle juice
my nigga

>>7294269
Except the plate you're eating on.
Just don't eat m8, then there's no mess, trrrrustmmedaddy

>>7295089
Who the fuck eating canned soup is willing to invest an entire HOUR into heating it up, holy shit.
If I'm eating canned soup for the night, I'll pretty much just roll with it.

I'm sure it's much better tho

>>7295411
You put it on and forget about it for an hour.

Go jack off and drink a beer or something while you're waiting.

>>7295415
fair play, my time management is just a joke

>>7295124
>Microwaved grilled cheese
Although I don't make that specifically, I often put cheese (real cheese, not American) on top of toast with garlic powder and Parmesan in the microwave. It's god tier running-low-on-supplies food.

When I deep fry something, I MUST time it to the very second, it has to be perfect timing or ill be really flustered.

I also read nutrition labels on cheap foods to find the "best" one. Store brands seem to be the best contenders.

I put hot sauce on almost anything.

When I clean a bowl to use it, it has to be completly dry until Ill use it. I refuse to use a bowl if it has even one drop of water in or on it.

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>>7294990

>>7293871
I bake bread.

>>7295019
well that's not very good considering the internal plastic lining of tin cans.

>>7295722
Gross.

And this is coming from someone who cans sauerkraut.

>>7293871
autistic? why in gods name would you microwave something while not at work?

>>7293928
sounds more OCD

>>7293943
That literally made me laugh out loud.

>>7294340

You win the thread, this is the most autistic thing here. Disagreeing with me only deepens your hole.

throw dat ass back hoe.

>>7296238
>le master ruseman

>>7294254
She wanted the D

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>>7293871
>>7295089
Canned stew is actually not bad. The whole point of stew is food cooked together for several hours, so that all the flavors combine and develop together. Canned stew is this effect taken up to eleven. It's cheap as fuck, filling and healthy. I usually fry some carrots and onions, cook rice in the juices and some broth, season it up and pour a whole can of pea or lentil stew over it. Best poverty meal out there.

>>7295476
>I put hot sauce on almost anything

my nigga

>>7296450
i do something similiar with cream of mushroom soup. Kind of imitates curry and is very, very filling/cheap.

I boil my hotdogs in a pot of water instead of hearing them in the microwave. I feel like they come out more juicy and plump, and you can't really over cook them, they just get better the longer they're cooking.

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i am heating up some frozen lasangna on the heating as we speak, i also eat raw sausages (pic related) i like to punish myself with food.

When there's 2 items of a foodstuff and I eat one, I feel bad for leaving the other one alone.

>>7293871
I suppose it's more lazy than anything else but sometimes I'll skewer a sausage and hold it over the burner to cook it.

>sprinkling dried, minced onions on everything even when i have actual onions laying around
>mixing french mustard with normal mustard/hot sauce to make it kick
>ejaculating into personal meals
>microwaving entire bags of chopped vegetables (usually inside weak plastic container)
>using nacho cheese for everything (even pizzas)
>never microwaving water

>>7295086
>Doesn't even understand the novelty of a fucking microwave
It's time to stop posting.

>>7294184
Why the fuck dont they make titanium can openers the standard?

>>7297024
Do you spin it around like a miniature spit roast?

>>7297228
titanium is not just hard, it's also brittle, its probably difficult for them to make one that doesn't chip

>>7294200
What>>7294407 said.
I like to throw in some black pepper and cayenne pepper to a lot of canned food to kinda nullify the taste of all that salt

I get pretty autistically mad over people touching the food I am preparing
Even if they're just rearranging things I hate it when people touch my shit
I once even got mad and didn't eat dinner because my mom disturbed my plating

I am terrified of food borne illness and whenever I work with meat I freak the fuck out.
When my hands touch raw chicken breasts I feel like my hands are covered in poison so any surface I touch thereafter needs to be cleaned immediately before I forget. I constantly wash my hands when prepping chicken. It's becoming a problem because of how much time I waste running to the sink.

>>7298526
Im>>7294990

We ought to have dinner sometime

>>7294990
what's wierd about the apple thing?

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Not really the kitchen but I lose my mind when I order a burger and they don't make it plain and dry. I have to slowly tell them "meat, cheese, bacon, bun, nothing else...meat, cheese, bacon, bun, nothing else" and then when they still put other shit on it I have to contain my rage while I go back up to the window. even thought I know it's just food it opens up some primal rage in me if I don't get my burger plain and dry.

my kitchen has room for ONE fucking person and people think they can help when really they are just getting in my fucking way

>>7293871
Order pizza
Put in fridge
Eat cold

>>7299111
I hate fucking people in my kitchen. I consider it unhygienic.

>>7299108

That's called literal autism m80

>>7295073
>cooked
It's canned soup. It's already cooked, you're just heating it up. Now, if you're adding extra ingredients and cooking those, sure. Cook it properly. Otherwise, the microwave is easier and gives the same result - warm soup.

>>7293955
retard

>>7299256
That shit is valid if you've worked in a kitchen and the chucklefucks haven't. Don't touch my goddamn temperatures or timers, don't re-arrange my mis en place, and don't fucking stand there jerkin' it in San Francisco when I'm coming through hot.

>>7299254
You are a monster.

>>7300183
Sometimes there's a deal on where you get too much pizza to eat right now. Order two different pizzas, eat half of each and throw the rest straight in the fridge for breakfast. It's god's way.

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>>7300153
>using a microwave
>ever

I cook batches of chicken thighs in the oven and then store them in the freezer to use them later... but I don't like freezing them with the bone still on them, so as soon as they're done cooking I use my hands and mouth to break all the chicken off from the bone and then put it into containers to go in the freezer... I don't even care about getting my own mouth germs on it because I'm the only one eating it.

>>7296983

>on the heating

>>7299108
thats not what plain and dry means, fuckwad

>>7300188
I like you

>>7293871
I eat apple cores

>>7296964
How does it imitate curry tho?

>>7297064
>>never microwaving water
People microwave water? I mean, this disurbs me more than
>ejaculating into personal meals

>>7300870
You guys don't have kettles in America. Are you really going to wait 20 minutes for your water to boil in a pan?

>>7298526
the vegan life awaits you child

>>7300879
most sane people have electric kettles, especially if they're tea-drinkers

>>7301143
>tea-drinkers
this i fucking 'murica u pussy we drink coke

>>7301155
>drinking coke

>>7295093
>mixing coffee with soda
U wot?

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>>7293871
I dont eat my crusts.

>>7296983
du sau.

my kitchen habbits are more ocd-related than anything else.

>>7293871
Use a shitload of hand sanitize every time I touch meat

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>>7299256

Stop having sex in the kitchen

>>7296977
Me too. If I'm making chili dogs I just empty the water and dump the can of chili straight over them. So awful but good.

>>7299082
It's a date

>>7299082
I will poison myself 1000 times before I even consider doing that.

>>7302977
Whoops second reply meant for >>7301142

>>7299108
Plain and dry would just be meat and bun.

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>>7299254
love cold pizza and milk..

>>7300161
enjoy your bt toxin

>>7300812
How's the cyanide treating you?

>>7294269
Not autistic but organized
Good for you

>>7295378
Ye boiii

>>7304320
you need a cupful of apple seeds to die of cyanide poisoning
the seeds need to be crushed, otherwise they will just pass through you
if you don't die from the poisoning, you basically killed your brain, enjoy being a burden of a vegetable to your family

I enjoy pouring Italien dressing in a bowl and eating it like soup

Whenever I'm cooking, I occasionally have to put my hand over the fire to feel the heat. I do this every time, especially with charcoal grills.

Also,
>turn gas over/stovetop on
>is today the day I'm going to die?

I refuse to eat anything with onions in it no matter how finely they are chopped or crushed.

Green/Red/Yellow peppers all taste the same; like shit.

Mushrooms are tasteless sponges with the texture of something alien.

This is very autistic of me but whenever I cook dinner for me and my gf, I have her suck my dick while I'm cooking. It helps me relax. I can't really cook unless she's sucking my dick. I find it one of the best parts about cooking.

>>7296983

Holy shit I used to buy those all the time when I lived in Germany

>>7304395
Are you 12? What made you think this post would be funny?

i'm autistic about materials.. i can't eat with/from anything plastic, styrofoam, aluminum etc.

one time my dad's ex-wife served me food on a melamine plate and got all uptight when i switched to a ceramic one

>who the fuck uses plastic plates when ceramic ones are just as easily available??

i don't get takeout that comes in styrofoam

i avoid restaurants that serve drinks in plastic cups

..that sort of bullshit

>>7304395
>lying on 4chan

>>7293871
10/10 pie. wud fuk

>>7304710
>>7304757

I'm not trying to be funny. It's a fetish of mine. Deal with it.

>>7293871
That's a big pizza.