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Tell us about the worst eating experience...
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Tell us about the worst eating experience of your life.
One time I ate a McNugget
One time I ate a Mcdouble
One time I ate a mcchicken
One time I ate
Not the worst but when I was younger I stayed with my cousin and his family for a couple weeks. I guess they are one of those "no condiment" type families, since they rarely had mayo/ketchup/ranch available with anything, and when they did they would use a laughably small amount.
Probably my biggest pet peeve when people think using literally a thimble of mayo is enough. Anyways, I had to suffer through the weeks eating dry as fuck perogies with no ketchup, or burgers with little to no mayo/ranch, things like that. Even when they were available I would have to use an annoyingly small amount to not look like a freak. Shit sucked.
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>family raves about Red Robin
>decide to take me to it while I was on leave
>order the fried egg burger with cheddar instead of American because American is the butthole of cheeses
>burger comes with the fried egg being incredibly underdone to the point even the white is running
>waitress gives me attitude when I ask for it to be taken back and fixed
>a half hour later they bring it back to me and this time with American cheese on it
>so hungry and livid I want to choke the chef out
>have the waitress take it back and leave

Seriously fuck Red Robin

I know he put that American on there on purpose.
And as a side note I remember I ordered my burger medium rare and it came out well done. Grade A sign of a shit chef.
You sound like a huge fucking cry baby
You sound like the kind of idiot that tolerates bullshit. Congratulations please go fucking kill yourself.
No. He sounds like someone who wants to get what he paid for. You're probably too timid to speak up. I doubt you'd say "shit" if you had a mouth full of it.
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>be spending vacation on Camboriú, BR.
>stuffing my face errday at the buffet
>no poo in loo for a whole week
>8th day we dine at cristo luz, buffet of course
>stuff my face anyway, I'm paying for this
>btw hot, humid af hue night
>feel the urge to throw up, do it
>feel urge to shit
>wait till return at hotel
>could not get up off the bed for almost 2 days, except for shitting water
>run out of drinking water, too weak to come down and buy more. And in no way drinking hue tap water
>sudden recover the day after the trip back home (1800 km on fucking bus)
I thought I was gonna die of dehydration. Nice place though
I had tea at a old friens house.

he put the cup infront of me, an little white bits, of which i assume was sour milk, was floating on top.

i drank it anyway. it was terrible
it's a tie up between a hot dog with chocolate frosting and oreos with water instead of milk
Lard butt identified. People that eat condiments like you think anything under a quarter of a cup is "thimble" sized portion
>in elementary school
>we get assigned local special school
>assigned buddies, mine is downs girl
>forced to eat together in cafeteria
>lasagna day
>enjoying my lasagna
>make eye contact with my buddy's retard
>he doesn't like eye contact
>starts screaming, shoving lasagna in his mouth as fast as he can
>eventually starts throwing up gagging eating the puke and lasagna while 3 retard handlers are trying to control him to no avail
>my retard starts shreaking a loud alien sound and reaches over and starts eating retard 1's vomit
>I start gagging uncontrollably and puke
>other kids puke, just ends up being a massive shitshow
>parents throw a huge fit and we never had another retarded school meet-up

For nearly a decade afterwards I couldn't eat, look, or smell lasagna without gagging
I hope this is real btw your a huge pussy for vomiting
>mom decides to make new orleans style food for dinner one night
>my mom is generally a good cook
>but not that night
>makes some sort of cajun boil with corn
>corn is the saltiest thing i have ever tasted in my life
>still have nightmares
>waitress gives me attitude when I ask for it to be taken back and fixed
I get the feeling that you're leaving out the part where you screamed and cried about a bit of runny egg, threatened to report them, and embarrassed your family.
I once mixed milk with orange juice.
Projecting much? On the contrary if I've ever sent back a dish at any resteraunt I've always been polite about it because obviously it's not the waitress fault. I'm not so happy though when said waitress acts like she is inconvienced for doing her job. So yeah that's when I lose my patience. Maybe /ck/ is full of assholes but to think everyone is is a cynical way to look at it. Plus if you're paying for a meal you can't tell me you wouldn't want it the way you want it.
>go to conveyorbelt sushi place
>tuna clearly been frozen and thawed multiple times
>salmon drenched in water
>sea bream rotting on the plate

i nearly vomited on the table
Fucking this. I don't understand why people are so thin skinned and timid to say something is wrong. Anytime I've ever cooked I always encourage someone to tell me if something is unappealing instead of blowing smoke up my ass. This is what makes so many bad cooks and chefs is people too afraid to hurt his feelings to say what's wrong. You never improve without criticism.
Was this place in the US? If so I'm not surprised. How many places think refreezing fish multiple times is fine just boggles me.
Oh, of coourse it's all them.
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>it's impossible that a resteraunt has poor service and food

Your logic is hilarious.
Yep, yep, keep blaming only them, there's literally no way that you're an insufferable cunt.
First time I went to olive garden

Went the first 24 years of my life without ever going there

I was forced to go because my boss planned to take us all out to lunch.

>Amerifats and their shitty kids all over the place
>order the chicken parm breadstick sandwich
>"how bad could it be?"
>The chicken Patty had that gelatinous fatty texture similar to school lunch chicken sandwiches.
>shitty waiters that probably dropped out of highschool.
>breadsticks are ok, not nearly as good as they are hyped up to be.

I went back again for another work outing the other day. I ordered lasagna because there's no way it can be worse than frozen lasagna which is usually pretty decent for frozen food.
>it's worse than frozen lasagna
>replying to such obvious bait
>baiting so hard

Shame on the both of you.
>in Spain on holiday
>go to restaurant
>big group of us
>order several pizzas and some past dishes
>1:30hr later nothing except complimentary starter
>we start to leave
>chef demands we pay for starter
>tell him his definition of complimentary needs some work
>he starts screaming
>threatens to call the police
>picks up phone without dialling and says "hello? police?"
>we leave
>go across the street to another restaurant
>food comes in 20 min
>service is great
>we all laugh at the tard across the street while we enjoy our meal
are you some kind of poor food service person getting your little panties in a twist because you have to serve customers? holy shit haha, don't worry, your shift will be over soon and you can go blow a coworker in the parking lot just like ever night
I can't eat out with one of my friends because he touches his food to his chin before every bite. Always have to come up with an excuse every time I get an invitation from him.

why does he do that?
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Around 13 years ago...
>eats a pastry at the local bookstore
>has eaten there a hundred times before
>arrives home
>shits and vomits like in the exorcist, had to be careful to not choke on my own vomit while I slept, at one point only water comes out
>life is hell for one fucking week
>never ate there again
Its an OCD thing, I think
that sucks

still i can imagine it getting annoying af
Sounds like you caught a real bookworm.
Get it?
Alright this is gonna be a long one

> be 19, second year at uni
> live at parents home and commute instead of dorming
> always drive a car to train station and then catch the trains to get to campus
> after classes one day
> friends from chem lab asks if I want to grab some food one day
> (I'm usually a flake but decide since I don't get invites too much)
> "Sure, why not"
> they want to go to local Mexican/burrito shack
> looking at the menu
> tons of options and customizations
> kneesweakarmsspaghetti.wmv
> opt for their "deluxe nachos" since it's an easy no choice item
> "You want everything on it?"
> whydoyouseekmytears.png
> remember at the last second that I have food allergy to avocados
> opt for no Guacamole
> nachos are ready
> there's Guacamole on the Nachos
> too ashamed to go back and complain about my nachos
> tell friends about the Guacamole
> "Just don't eat it man, or get another order if it bothers you that much"
> end up eating around the Guacamole but of course some of it gets on pieces I'm eating
> mistakes were made
> reaction surprisingly isn't that bad
> finish eating
> friends and I go separate ways
> head over to catch the train
> suddenly feel sharp pains and gurgling in my stomach
> ruhroh.raggy
> too nervous and ashamed to go back to campus just to use a toilet and have shots
> try to catch a train and make it home
> each minute passing I can feel this shit storm brewing
> try to listen to music on my phone to take my mind off this shit
> phone is near dying
> I can feel the poosian armies making their way through my body raping and pillaging as they please
> want to hold out, get to my car, and go to a local McDonald's to use their bathroom
> check the stops
> reality sets in: I'm not making it
> second to last stop before my car
> i get off and start scrambling towards the street desperate to find a toilet
> go up the stairs and realize that I'm not in a commercial area
> look to the sky, close my eyes
> I shit my pants that day
one time I made a grilled cheese for a hangover
I fell asleep with it next to me in bed
While I was asleep I must have farted and it got trapped under my sack
I woke up and rolled over to eat the sandwich
The fart escaped and the whole room filled with the smell of sack and fart
Just as I took a bite
All the booze came up and I puked everywhere
Still can't eat grilled cheese
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>christmas break when I was in college
>at home with folks, chilling with my dad watching tv and having a couple beers
>Dominos advertisement comes on with their new sub sandwiches
>we order 4, 2 Italian sandwiches for my dad and I, and 2 chicken sandwiches for my mom and sister
>we eat the two Italian subs with a couple beers
>mother and sister fortunately do not eat theirs
>it's 7pm and I feel kinda jittery, say to my dad I'm gonna go to bed
>8:30 rolls around and I'm really nauseous
>welp, I need to vomit, throw up in toilet
>go back to my room and feel even worse
>have to shit 15 minutes later
>shit, then turn around and vomit into the shit toilet
>try to take down water, throw that up immediately
>constant intervals every 15 minutes of either trying to shit out nothing or vomit out nothing
>can hear my dad doing the exact same thing in the bathroom below me
>move a pillow and blanket into the bathroom next to the toilet
>get maybe 90 minutes of 'sleep' the whole night, every 15 minutes is punctuated with either painful dry heaves or a tucked-out butthole trying to shit out nothing
>at dawn, finally manage to be able sit in my computer chair without hurling, mom fucking yells at me for staying up all night (the cunt)
>able to take down a sports drink at 9am and get a bit of rest
>a whole week afterwards can only eat soup, fruit and bread

Man fuck Dominoes I will never eat at that shitty fucking restaurant again.
My mother was clinically insane.

Eventually child's services intervened but it made for some hilarious meals.

Thinks like whole okra pods covered in slices of American cheese and baked at lukewarm temperatures. And you had to eat it or you'd get rekt.

Or the time when we were served scrambled eggs with hot dog pieces and strawberry slices.

Or just moldy or rotten shit in general. Meals were times of intense dread.
The fuck? How fat are you?

>complaining about ordering something you don't like because of your inability to make decisions

/r9k/ pls go
>At a friend's house as a kid
>They always ate frozen food/takeout
>Never cooked
>One day, I found out why
>His mom decides to cook one day
>Makes some fucking nasty rice gelatin goop and pours like an entire bottle of hot sauce over that shit
>Literally just tasted like lukewarm, spicy cardboard goop
To this day, I will never know how she managed to achieve that slimy, gelatin texture with the rice
>sesame chicken
>cant eat sesame chicken for years
I could mention McDonalds but i have only eaten there 3 times in my life and all 3 times were horrible, ok fastfood made with shit ingredients cooked by underpayed greasy teenagers who couldn't care less - who could have guessed it would taste like shit :).

I rather have a hamburger meal at a bar with a real cook, my favorite right now a Celtic BBQ Burger from O'Learys - yum.

Otherwise the most horrible thing i ever tasted was takeout pizza from Mix Restaurant in Umea Sweden, god it was so awful that all 4 pizzas went into the trash.

Really why serve rotten food i don't get it, it's not like i will ever visit that place again and i have managed to get that Restaurant off the lunch tour at work.
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>lunch tour
That's sad man. What did child services do? Do you still have contact with your mom?
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>perogies with no ketchup

What the fuck am i reading....ketchup on perpgies why.....just why

>second year chemistry student
>would rather shit themselves than speak up when something is dangerously wrong
Fun fact: Olive Garden has no ovens in it's kitchen.
I agree. When things like this happen to me I just pay for my food while scowling meaningfully at the staff, and then leave without paying. They get the message without any unnecessary conflict.

Sometimes I throw the food in the bin as I leave.
We have a bunch like 50 people at work who eats out every lunch and we call it the lunch tour.

Myself i noticed i gained like 5kg after the 1st year of lunch touring so i went back to a homemade lunchbox.
You misspelled overpaid.
Worst food?

> Get asked to go cover for different store.
> Decide to eat at Chinese takeout joint in plaza for lunch break
> Order General Tso combo plate because impossible to fuck up...... until then.
> Chicken is microwaved S&S chicken. The outer layer was literally steaming
> General Tso's sauce just poured over it. Not even mixed up.
>Fried rice is literally just fried rice and it was undercooked
> Well, at least I have an eggroll..... nope. Shit was literally just cabbage inside.

Absolute worse meal I have encountered.
>bought a jar of the pretzels that are big
>like, the ones the size of your hands
>fast forward a month or two
>new years
>drunk as shit, can't figure out how to turn on the pan let alone cook the refrigerator
>see box of neglected pretzels on top of fridge
>grab a pretzel
>feels like it's vibrating
>chock it up to being drunk, fuck it, time to eat

>wake up after passing out
>the jar of pretzels took itself for a short walk off the fridge
>pretzels everywhere
>black dots everywhere
>white dots everywhere
>look closer
>it's little tiny beetles
>also maggots
>the beetles were vibrating the pretzel
I don't like pretzels anymore
Not my worst experience, but the fact that I hate my job magnified my misery.

>start new job in Twin Cities
>people in office are absolutely horrendous, all are either negative assholes, complete idiots, or some combination of the two
>Christmas Eve rolls around
>office decides they want to order pizza
>I agree, thinking they will probably order from some local place
>"You know if the Timberwolves win we can get a discount at Papa John's"
>mercifully the Timberwolves lose, no discount
>they decide on a local chain called Davanni's
>have never eaten there before, think it can't possibly be as bad as Papa John's
>pizza arrives
>salty as fuck, sauce like it came out of a tin, dough has the consistency and taste of three-day-old doughnut
>can barely finish the three slices I took, even though I'm starving

At least they cut their pizza correctly, instead of cutting it into inedible squares like the rest of this area is so obsessed with.
ass hurt McDonalds manager, huh?
I liked olives, I liked meatloaf. I thought to combine a bunch of olive varieties in my next meatloaf.

All I made was a disgusting meat brick with nasty olives that I reluctantly ate for the week.
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>medium rare burger from Red Robin
>medium rare burger at all from anywhere
>9 years old, NJ native
>visiting dads family in Idaho
>uncle takes us to an "italian" pizza restaurant
>walk in, it is kind of strange it, the waiters look okay enough but somethings off..
>turns out nobody there is italian
>we think they're german, but nobody really knows
>order two pies
>Examine the pizza
>upon examination the cheese seems to be a blend of american and cheddar, no mozzarella in sight
>the sauce tastes like ragu or some jarred sauce
>dough tastes like canned biscuit dough

I dont remember a whole lot about that trip, but I puked a lot of those nights. The scenery and nature stuff in Idaho is awesome, the food.... not so much.
>be on grade school field trip
>visiting local international food market, then university
>eat some beef lo mein
>find triple-chocolate ice cream
>description has some cheesy line about being twice the taste, half the calories
>don't think anything of it and wolf down a whole bowl
>start feeling horrible on the bus ride
>pounding headache and nausea, sunlight feels like a drill through both eyes
>throw up all over the university sidewalk
>turns out I'm allergic to artificial sweeteners
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It has to be
Had a few but one that stick in my mind
>at italian wine bar with the missus
>order fried zuchinni florets and chicken breast
>etating nice crunchy zucchini, mmm, thats a different crunch
>mfw ive eaten half a worm/maggot/larvae beast
>waitress these a worm in my zuchinni
>oh um yeh um oh sorry yeh um that must have fallen from the cealing
>fucking what did you just admit to an infestion problem?
>Boss at work is obsessed with going out to eat.
>Takes us to this shitty barbecue joint. Screams about how awesome it is. Food is not great, but at least edible.
>Take a bite of the deep fried potatoes.
>Mouth is filled with intense flavor of rotten potato. They didn't inspect their shit before just cutting it up. It has an extra dimension of nastiness when you taste it, you can't even imagine.
>Eyes tear up, ohmyfuckinggod I get up to go to the bathroom to spit it out
>Boss sees me, thinks I'm choking.
>Grabs my arm, starts slapping me on the back (is that really what you're supposed to do?)
>Mouth is full, can't tell him to fuck off
>Swallow the rotten shit potato because of the slapping
>They can see I'm not dying now
>Everyone has a good laugh
>Go to bathroom and throw up.
I refused from then on to go out to eat with them. Just started bringing my own food.
The smell of rotting potato is eerily simmilar to that of a rotting corpse
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>mum visits the apartment
>gives me some leftover fried fish she apparently got from some pot-luck dinner's leftovers
>the next day
>I heat it up and try to eat it
>It literally has the elasticity and flavor of a rubber band

I'm a cheap dirty Dutchman, and I can count the number of times I've thrown food away on one hand. But that was one such time.
Thats what you get for being fancy, stick to rolmops you dutch bastard
i went to a restaurant that has a really cheap breakfast after my night shift and only ordered water because i wanted to go home and go to bed so the bill was under $5

>hand server $20
>server hands me $15 and no change (keeping a lousy tip for herself, without my consent)
>planning to leave a $2 tip (+40%!) i try and hand her a 5 and ask for some change back
>server flips shit in front of everyone
>i slink out, mortified
>realize later she thought i was asking for the lousy tip she stiffed me

.. i've never gone back to that place

cheap breakfast isn't worth hostility when you're trying to leave a 40% tip

i'm glad i didn't tip her
I did not like this
Some greasy dinner place I ate at caused me to vomit intensely as a child. Still remember it to this day.
i was at a work camp and the kitchen did a xmas in july themed dinner
after dinner i told people how much i loved pumpkin pie and how i could probably eat a whole pumpkin pie even though i had just had a punch of plates of xmas dinner +pie

they handed me a pie and told me i'd get $20 if i could finish it

i did and it was the first and last time i've gotten physically ill from eating too much

not worth the $20
kneesweakarmsspaghetti.wmv and whydoyouseekmytears.png are both out of place emotions to have in your story. Also the other poster is right, dear god, speak up about stuff like this before it happens.
This made me feel so uncomfortable
Five Guys and some DD Munchkins on New Years' Day about three years ago. Got nasty Food Poisoning from one or the other. Discovered you can indeed shit and puke at the same time, one end over the toilet, one end over the tub. Barfing so hard I nearly passed out at one point. Got trippy audiovisual hallucinations. Went on for about two days. Finally kept down a smoothie, then a salad. Deemed myself back in action and celebrated with some BK breakfast and a canoeing trip. Rad ass trip. Call the cops I don't give a fuck.

Still eat at Five Guys, just not the specific one I got sick at. Never quite liked that one anyway. DD Powdered Cinnamon donuts are still a little rough though; that was all I could taste after each round of barfing.
can you explain how tuna looks when that has occured? also i'm pretty sure you're referring to Kula, yes?
>3 slices

wtf why did you eat them if it was bad? how fat are you?
Holy shit that's hysterical
I've never been fucked by food this badly before. I honestly think I came halfway to death from this experience

>be about 10-11
>celebrating a special occasion with family and friends
>at middle tier Japanese restaurant, in respectable community
>we all dig in, have about 7 plates that we largely share communally
>one plate was a platter of some sort of dumpling, dim sum esque dish. Each dumpling had a different filling, most were savory.
>had a few dumplings from the plate, all good tasting
>towards end of meal, take another dumpling
>instead of hot, on the inside, it's rancid. tastes like thawed rotting fish innards
>for some insane reason, I swallow (maybe I was trying to be polite?)
>soon came to realise this to be amongst the worst mistakes I have ever made in my life
>begin to feel a bit off in car ride after
>I very slowly descend, feeling sicker and sicker as the hours tick away
>have barely more than 2 bites of dinner, begin focusing on water
>the vomiting begins
>even after I've emptied my stomach completely by the 3rd go, I keep throwing up. vomiting water in 30 minute intervals
>I end up losing sleep for days over having to wake up at 4am to vomit
>I end up being sick for over a month
>it takes 3 weeks before I am able to keep down something more substantial than chicken broth (warm bread)
>even after I am able to return to school, still feel queasy on occasion for almost 3 months after the event
>overall, lost almost 20lb. my cheeks were narrow and gaunt by the time I was back in school

It was clearly beyond food poisoning. I've never even been remotely this sick in my life, and pray to never fall this ill again.
Note: No one else got sick from what I remember. It was just me. Just that single dumpling of death.
Fuck everything about this story, and your boss.

God what an insufferable cunt of a man.
Reminds me of all the times I would eat with my mouth open during lunch in elementary school and make the same queasy kid vomit.
>clock out at 6am from nightshift work and hungry as fuck
>only thing nearby open that early is steak and shake
>$4 for a burger, fries and shake
>fuck yeah cheap and tasty junk food i'll come here more often
>pay bill and head home to get some sleep
>wake up in a cold sweat, stomach feels like i ate razor blades
>spend 2 hours shitting and vomiting blood until i pass out
>house mate called 911, i wake up in the hospital
>tube in my nose, iv in my arm, nurses hovering over me
>nurse tells me i have Salmonellosis
>spend 2 weeks in the hospital, shitting and vomiting
>have the worst diarrhea for months
>read local news that 6 people also had it after eating at the same restaurant
>place is still open to this day

I had a similar experience, but it wasn't food related (pretty sure I was just going mental after a bad loss in my life). I'd wake up in the middle of the night and just puke my guts up until sunrise. Or alternatively spend all day puking and spend the night trying to re-hydrate. When I wasn't actively sick, I felt like I could be any second which made eating a very hard task. I lost thirty pounds that month, and to this day I sleep with a barf bucket beside my bed.

It was pretty much like being anorexic and bulimic all in one, except I wasn't doing it to myself. It did get me over my intense fear of vomiting, though. Silver lining! Still, I'd rather rip all of my nails from their beds before going through that again.

I underwent open heart surgery when I was 20. The hospital food was pathetic. Add to that the fact that I was in pain and that whatever I ate the first three or four days I threw back up making the pain worse, even if the only thing I ate was jello.

While not the best dining experience of my life, the night my parents smuggled in a hamburger from Whataburger to me was greaty appreciated.
>go to Mexico for family vacation at all-inclusive resort with three restaurants, private beach, fucking sailing lessons, etc.
>go to one of the restaurants, I think it was supposed to be Mayan food or something
>the dining area is on a porch-veranda area with a little bridge to the sidewalk
>halfway through appetizer I'm not feeling too hot, dizzy and a little nauseous
>Dad gets tired of my bitching about being sick and tells me to go back to the room
>I can do that
>Make it to the bridge and suddenly have the intense urge to vomit
>turn around and puke right into the bushes in front of like thirty people
>walk as fast as possible to the bathroom
>There are two sinks, both being blocked by some lady and her kid who was too old to be escorted into the restroom by mommy
>Say excuse me
>Puke into sink
>Less than before and not chunky so I rinse it out as best as I can as they watch
>Finally get back to my room, brush my teeth and watch DBZ in Spanish
>Parents come back like two hours later
>Ask if anyone saw me throw up the first time
>"Anon fucking everyone saw"

It was actually a nice vacation


Number 43. bitchtits.

My dad makes this Pierogi Casserole with Cream Cheese, Cheese, Sour Cream, Kielbasa, and some seasonings. It's fucking good.
>be on vacation in Morocco
>spend the day on the beach and stop at a fish place set ontop of a cliff for dinner
>get to pick my own fish
>takes twenty minutes for the food to be prepared, just sit there sipping water with friends overlooking the sea
>fish arrives
>fuckton of sides we didn't ask for but is apparaently standard, beautifully prepared fish, fresh as fuck
>end up spending 20 euro for three people, plus tip

I got distracted while thinking about my worst eating experiences and wrote down my best one instead.

It was really good.
>When I wasn't actively sick, I felt like I could be any second which made eating a very hard task.

Yes, this is exactly what it was like for me. Truly awful.
that sounds amazing desu
>live with parents during the summertime
>notice a couple bugs in one of the hallways in their house, they don't care
>over time they multiply until there's a whole bunch of them around their food pantry
>do an internet search and get some stuff to keep them away from my bedroom area
>parents don't put any effort in killing them aside from a couple bug baits placed in the hallway
>feel like making a banana smoothie one day, go to the pantry to grab the blender
>open the box to find a bunch of maggots writing around inside
>grabbed all my food from the pantry and kept it in my room until the bug issue was resolved
Food born illness is,a 24to 48 hour onset.

Noraovirus being the fastest onset will begin 12 hrs at its earliest
That's simply not true. Food poisoning can set in within an hour.
>went on a vacation to San Diego where I drove down the coast
>on the way back up decide to eat at a Chinese place in LA
>order clams in black bean sauce
>finish meal, continue drive up, stop in a beach town to sleep
>drive up to San Francisco to visit a friend and stay the night
>play a board game with him, feel sick and feverish and excuse myself to go to bed (brought a bucket with me)
>wake up at midnight
>vomit into bucket
>feel urge to shit
>rush to bathroom
>shoot out brown water that smells strongly of clams
>return to bed
>the scent permeates the bathroom, it has to be bleached to remove the smell
>feel feverish for the next few days
>the guy who I stayed with in San Francisco's cat dies of cancer a few weeks later
I learned that you should NEVER eat bivalves from a Chinese place
As a person who has smelled all kinds of dead things..no, it is not.
>I learned that you should NEVER eat bivalves from a Chinese place

most people don't need a life lesson to "learn" things like this, it's common sense..i mean really...clams from a chinese place?

theres a reason why you get chinese food fried up and down to fuck
I would have made her give me the change back. I always tip if the server does their job. If it comes with not change, I always make them give it back and leave no tip. Fuck thieves and fuck these entitled waitresses.
It was a terrible idea in retrospect, I definitely should have known, but those clams sounded so good.
>was somewhere between 8-10 years old
>had just had Spanish rice for the first time at a nice Mexican restaurant, loved that shit
>hungry one day at home
>decide to try and make myself some Spanish rice
>cook rice just fine but get stuck on what makes it orange like at the restaurant
>what about cheese? Cheese is orange
>put a kraft american single on plate of white rice, microwave that shit
>comes out smelling like hell
>doesn't matter, ate
>immediately feel nauseous, run to bathroom, vomit violently
>have a awful headache, feel dizzy and nauseous for the rest of the day
>have never touched kraft american cheese since
>not liking Davanni's

you obviously like pizza hut dont you faggot.
I used to go to this bar because they had $2 breakfasts and I could smoke while doing my homework. They stopped that special and smoking in bars was banned. I stopped going there after a while when the service and food went way downhill.
I stopped in for dinner with a friend. The waitress was bringing out a dish and dropped a vat of ranch dressing on me. I went to the bathroom to wash it off and I opened the bathroom door and saw a flood caused by an overflowing toilet of piss, shit and vomit. I went back and we tried to eat our food which was inedible. I never went back my friend went back once or twice afterwards but he stopped going because he could not handle it.
You fucking pleb. The only acceptable condiments for pierogi are vinegar (for meat ones) or sour cream (for everything else).
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>Indian restaurant
>wait a few minutes to be greeted
>get seated
>wait a few minutes for water
>wait a few minutes to order
>wait half an hour for appetizer
>Its ok vegetable Pakora for $9.00
>Wait half an hour for curry
>no plates
>wait five minutes, no plates.
>Walk into kitchen and grab two plates
>waiter is at the table
>"You just can not go into our kitchen like that."
>me "Fuck you, you didn't even give us plates!"
>start to get huge adrenaline rush
>"Well I hope the food is delicious."
>look around
>three out of sixteen tables are filled, its 8pm
>Keep eating
>no one refills our water
>wait fifteen minutes
>Adrenaline again
>get up
>"Are you going to give us the receipt?!"
>bartender walks up
>"You two need to pay and get out of here! Never come back!"
>Bill is ~$70
>throw three $20s as I leave
>Girlfriend is scared shitless the entire time and telling me to stop
How can one person be this huge of a pussy, or this full of shit?
But it does
>welfare baby complaining about something and acting like an entitled faggot
Nothing to see here move along.
>be 7
>eating at burger king with family
>just finished stuffing my face with burger and chips
>take a drink of my orange juice
>it's got pulp in it
>for some reason, i'm not sure why to this day, i fucking projectile vomit across the table upon swallowing the pulp juice
>thankfully it was an outside table and nobody was sat across from me
I can't even have juice with pulp in my mouth without feeling like throwing up now.
I can't eat BK burgers without feeling like throwing up either but that's not exactly a loss.

Why is pulp so shit-tier?
Well known eatery/restaurant. Burnt fries, burnt patty (and charred lettuce tips?!), half a fly in my glass.
Had a quiet word to the manager and my whole table ate free.

Got a call several months later about it and was thanked for the discretion, apparently there was a very upset employee who was just dismissed and forced into rehab as a result. Poor owner.

>people should complain if their food isn't 100% to their expectation

It sounds great in theory, but I'll bet you've become accustomed to the taste of spit in your food.
Proper pulp is fine, but most pulp is just shredded pith on top of watered down reconstituted OJ.

Otherwise it's like a glorious orange juice smoothie.
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>Be poor
>Mom left, brother and I live with dad
>All our food is rotten or almost rotten. Lots of moldy bits being cut off.
>Dad never cooks breakfast, too sad
Fast forward

>Wake up one morning
>Something smells good
>Dad is in the kitchen cooking
>He has made oatmeal
>He finally looks happy
>My brother and I are happy that he's finally doing better, we all sit at the table, the sunlight is coming in nicely, we have big bowls of oatmeal with milk and brown sugar.
>Nearly halfway through my bowl before I notice
>Half the oatmeal is pantry moth larva (pic related)
>I freak out internally but don't say anything because I know it will crush my dad
>little brother has no such qualms
>"THERE'S BUGS IN IT!" he screams and starts crying
>My dad looks into his bowl
>looks closer
>I could just see him break into pieces
>Dad cries into bowl of larva and oatmeal while my brother screams and starts puking


On the plus side, I've never had food poisoning. I think I'm immune by now.
Cereal moths are bastards.
I went out of town to visit my family for a week during which my partner received a partially eaten bag of cashews from a friend. My partner put the bag in the cupboard and left it there. The day after I return home I notice that there are a few sooty moths floating around the apartment, mostly the kitchen. I tear the entire kitchen apart looking for the source. The cashew bag was a fucking hive of moths and larvae and nearly every flour, nut, grain, or seed in my kitchen that wasn't sealed in hard plastic had to be thrown out. I have been hyper vigilant about sealing things in jars or plastics after that.

Fuck cereal moths.
One time I made sugar cookies, but instead of sugar I used salt. Boy was I surprised when I took a huge bite.
ya mommas puci

it's not timidity, it's affability you chumps. clearly you're going to be one of those very financially successful alienators who murder suicides their nanny and kids for soaking a juice ring into the coffee table.
Airline Shepard's pie. Can't even look at Shepard's pie without getting nauseous anymore.
>there is only one way for food to go bad and it's this way i am telling you right now despite evidence and proof that i am wrong
>Shepard's pie
Retardation is off the scale today, /ck/.
Liver stew in the army canteen.

Got food poisoning and vomited blood for a few days.
So tough, so edgy




Favourite "prank" that is going around work at the moment is to put salt in the sugar bowl. Cunts.
You are an extremely stupid person.

why are yuropoors so fucking obsessed with americans jesus christ it's unreal

we don't correct you on 'chips' or 'crisps' or what ever you want to call your semen sponges

you can't even speak PWOPUH ENGWISH half the time either INNIT

>we don't correct you on 'chips' or 'crisps' or what ever you want to call your semen sponges

because those are just other names for the same thing. 'shepard's pie' is not an article of dialect, it is not an idiom, it is not a regional adaptation of the language with respectable and proper origins, it is confusing the term for a man who herds sheep with a name that sounds similar to the term for a man who herds sheep. i accept your 'chips' even though they hardly resemble any of the other things you might call a 'chip' like a dent in a teacup or a roughly lozengal lump of wood. i even accept your 'biscuit' even though it's a flaky pastry that is baked only once and bears no resemblance to anything any europeans would call a biscuit. but i can't accept this. millions of your brutish, bible-bashing citizens probably say the word 'shepherd' about fifty times a day - why do they forget the existence of shepherds when they're referenced in a casserole dish?

>stargazy pie
>no stars in it
>here is a giant rant as to why yuropoors are retarded

that's you right now but with american obsession
You can be anything you want, but you choose to be an ass.

i bet you think you really showed me with that one, didn't you? you really think there's an equivalence there? well there isn't. it should be perfectly clear that i'm attacking your ability to grasp the figurative and folkloric meanings behind the historic names of things, and you try defend it by taking the 'star' out of 'stargazy pie' to triumphantly declaim the material existence of stars in the pie itself?

think about how terrible a disservice you're doing your country with that defence. just go to your room and think about what you've done. honestly i don't think saying anything more about it would even do you any good, just contemplate it in silence.
Thank you so fucking much for posting this. I'm going to make some ridiculous experimental pierogis tomorrow.
This sounds like something I would do. I'm too trusting. Very glad I read this.
You sound like a roided up cunt lmao
This is so sad it's ridiculous
I found a huge ass thing of lard in my beans at Chevy's. I vomited in the bathroom for like 10 minutes. Last time I ever ate at Chevy's. (this was about the time that their reputation really went in the gutter)

At another Mexican restaurant called La Frontera, I found another huge thing of lard in some of their shredded beef tacos that I had gotten for take out. Again, vomited. Again, last time I ever ate there.
You don't fucking realize that we are basically saying "a shepard's pie". We know what a fucking shepard is you retard.
Also this.
When I was younger went with my family to a seafood place & I ordered flounder. Nobody realized it wasn't deboned. I almost died choking on a pinbone.
Another time I was about 8 in disney with the senpai. Ordered some kind of fish, was puking in the streets of epcot all week
A few years ago I was working in a restaurant with this wacko armenian kid & it was his day to make family meal. Said he was going to make cappicola rice. Everyone's like "weird but wtf, we'll try it". Turns out we misunderstood him, he said Coca-Cola rice which was just rice, coke, some chicken scraps & raw chicken skin mixed together
>Coca-Cola rice which was just rice, coke, some chicken scraps & raw chicken skin mixed together
why the fuck would you eat this. I would have just told him "fuck no" and offered to teach him some non-shit rice dishes

but it is not 'a shepard's pie'. it is not the pie of a man named shepard. it is not the kind of pie you would readily assume was made for or by a man named shepard. it is a 'shepherd's pie'.
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>many years ago
>staying at aunt's place for a week
>everyone else done with breakfast by the time I wake up
>about 10 boxes of cereal in the kitchen
>decide I'll have some of that
>it's completely infested with weevils
>they need a minute to decide whether to throw it out
>Try another box, Anon.
>also infested with weevils
>lack a good option at this point
>try a box that hasn't been opened
>seems clear
>eat cereal
>find single dead weevil at the very end
>skip breakfast for the rest of the week
>In grade school many many years ago
>Decide to try the school lunch that day
>It's chicken nuggets mashed potatoes and carrots
>I'm ok with this
>Overhear cafeteria workers complaining about the food smelling funny
>They serve that shit anyways
>Turns out there was an ammonia spill on this shipment of food
>I ate everything
>Was completely fine
>Everyone around me throws up and starts curling up minutes later
>People going fucking nuts in the bathroom and passing out
>Ambulance comes not even 10 mins later
>Almost everyone ended up getting their stomachs pumped
Never ate a school lunch again since that day.
this post made me wonder, how much of a failure at life do you have to be to end up as a lunch lady? that shit is sub-janitorial.
I'm almost sure they served that shit in hopes that some kid died because they probably hated their life.
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Sortof related to your pic, but I forgot to take one, I dropped the deepfryer yesterday. Splatters up to 1m high on the cupboards.
You should try talking to the help more. You might learn that some people have really hard lives. You would also learn that, in the future, it is less awkward not to talk to the help. They are the help, they are not your special buddy. If you want to 'slum it' there are more appropriate ways, such as voluntourism.
>not having condiments is your worst food experience

Fatty detected
............ wat?
your post has next to nothing to do with what I said. cool blog post though, dumb shit.
>come home from camping
>starving, no food in house, legs hurt from climbing mountains
>want something fast
>cook four eggs with a tin of sardines (in mango sauce with peppercorn, aldi find) and put soy sauce on it
>salt and protein cravings for real
>eat it
>it's disgusting
>finish it anyway

>winter camping
>had packed english muffins for pb+j
>the muffins are frozen
>try eating one
>it's disgusting
>also had bananas
>bananas are frozen and black
>can't even peel them
>end up eating instant oatmeal with cold water, beef jerky, and trail mix all trip
she wasn't a bad server though

until the outburst.. i thought about explaining my intent but then nahhh.. fuck her
>went to local diner people won't shut up about
>order fish sandwich
>a dinner roll with one of those frozen prepackaged square breaded fish patties
>no sauce, no lettuce, nothing else
>just this breaded "fish" thing on a roll
>like being in elementary school again


>go to olive garden with friend
>get lemon chicken
>it's alright
>can't stop eating the salad

They put crack in the salad I think. So damn addicting. Between the two of us we finished two giant bowls of salad along with our meals.
>high school graduation, family take me to a seafood place
>I order a sampler plate, has every kind of seafood
>dad orders same
>everyone else gets random shit
>next day
>everyone except my dad and I got sick
>not sure how because our meal had literally everything in it
>place shut down a while later
>they'd been leaving unrefrigerated crates of seafood in the sun for hours on end

>visit dad
>hungry, breakfast, get cereal
>pour bowl
>pour milk
>pick up spoonfull
>writhing worms all over
>dad acts like it's normal, says the cereal has been there a few months
>throw whole bowl over fence
>he says to try a different cereal
>decline, eat shitty toaster waffle with shitty aunt jemimas pancake corn syrup
>eat two of those things and still hungry
>choose to stay hungry until I can go home

>this past summer
>cooked shitty frozen salmon
>still a bit cold in the middle
>too hungry to wait, just eat it
>probably gonna be fine right, they make sushi out this shit right
>you can eat tuna steak rare right, what's the difference between tuna and salmon right?
>liquid shits for a month
>half a year later, stomach is still off
>constant horribly loud gurgling, tons of gas, actually feel intestines move around
>used to have no-wipe shits
>now have to use baby wipes after every shit

I think I gave myself fish AIDS
jesus man thats pretty rough
>around age 8
>go to friend's house for sleepover
>cereal for dinner
>what a bonanza! Kid me is excited.
>open their closet pantry
>40 boxes of cereal, not even kidding you
>most of which are open
>occurs to me that this means, given the normal intake of cereal per person, that all this cereal must be old and stale
>try a very small bowl
>it's stale
>try a different kind
>also stale
>cereal was both dinner and breakfast the next day
>decide to stay hungry
>never look at friend the same way again


I guess. The noise is embarrassing. I also shit 2-3x a day now. My doctor is a cunt who never fixes anything, though, so I'm not going. That's also the only doctor my poverty insurance covers. It's not painful or anything and I haven't died yet, so it's probably fine.
>proving his point this hard

This is comedy gold.
I has a sad now :(
Okay, mom.
>In America
>Order an 'English Breakfast"
>Comes with foamy pancakes
>All the meats are oddly sweet
>Bacon has the consistency of a fried bank card, the salt content of an entire ocean and is covered in syrup
>Eggy bread is not only sweet itself but is covered in powdered sugar and cinnamon
>Hash browns are also sweet
>Orange juice tastes like undiluted concentrate

Seriously, there was probably more sugar in that breakfast than there is in a large bottle of Coca Cola. The bacon was the most shocking of all, I don't understand how America can have such an obsession with it when that's how bacon tastes over there.

>Post is entirely lacking in greentext
youre retarded
>Went to popular lil breakfast joint in my town
>crowded on Sunday
>wait 20 minutes to be seated
>bro and I order OJ
>30 minutes later we get our OJ and order our food
>40 minutes go by track down a waitress and ask
>she says it's really busy and our order is being made
>another 40 minutes fo by
>friend and I have to be some where soon
>ask again about our food
>says its cooking
>wait another 20 not even being asked to refill OJ
>friend and I just get up and leave
>regular there sees us do this and follows us
>proceeds to berate us for not paying and stealing
>says"this is what this restaurant is like on Sundays"
>I say yeah a piece of shit
>dude gets offended and starts to follow us to our car yelling we should pay.
>tell him to fuck off and to have fun waiting 2 hours for some bacon while we get in the car

I have never been back to this place. The food isn't even anything special it like 6/10 at best.
>Accuses others of being retarded
>Can't even use an apostrophe
>I could mention McDonalds but i have only eaten there 3 times in my life and all 3 times were horrible,

Are you me?

I've only eaten at McDonald's three times in my life. The first time was when I was 18 -- it gave me a serious diarrhea and I crapped my pants.

I've been there more than three times but the other times I was talking to someone else while they ate and then I went elsewhere to eat afterwards.
Not a near death but still pretty disgusting anyways

>starting to get interested in cooking
>learning about sauces and shit
>love fettuccine Alfredo when my family goes out for Italian
>decide to make my own
>start bechamel
>roux turns out alright
>add milk
>it thickens
>mind blown
>irrationally wonder if I can make it taste like something completely different than normal Alfredo
>throw some 50% dark in there
>with the heat on
>smells fine
>boil pasta
>take bite

Instant regret. Threw the entire fucking rest of it out and didn't eat anything else that night as punishment to myself for being such a fucking retard. Hilarious when I look back on it though.
At a sleepover my friends mom made "spaghetti pizza". nope.
I tried to get a job as one a few years ago but they required a year of food service experience and they paid $3.40 an hour.
>not liking Davanni's
>you obviously like pizza hut dont you faggot.

You're from the Midwest, aren't you? Allow me to explain: Davanni's is shit pizza, just a notch or two above Pizza Hut. The garbage I've seen people in the Cities try to pass off as authentic pizza is disgusting.
my dad dragged me to a strip club for dinner on my 19th birthday, I came out as a tranny because he tried to buy me a lap dance and he threw his beer in my face and drove home without me. One of the strippers gave me change for bus fare and when I got home the door was locked and I had to sleep on the porch
the wings sucked too they were obviously reheated frozen wings and the breading was soggy and they were cold inside

I actually macerate dead animals (let them rot in a tub of water during the summer) so I can collect and clean the bones and skulls. Opossum, turtle, otter, fox, snake, coyote, raccoon, mink, beaver, ground hog... I've smelled 'em all.

But yeah, they're a bit similar. That being said, the smell of a corpse is worse because fat from it makes the stench stick to you...
just made my husband read this.
he wanted me to add semisweet chocolate chips to his scrambled eggs this morning, because chocolate is good, and eggs are good, let's eat them together!
>mfw i married such a fag
The thread is about "worst dining experiences" not about "near-death experiences"
Believe it or not but not all of us have had a food related near-death experiences.
i used to really love those tricoloured halloween candy corns so i went to bulk barn and bought a great big bag around halloween

i ate a few and came down with norovirus and i haven't been able to eat candy corn since

>blessing in disguise
i make a chili with cocoa in it

it's god tier
........ here's your (You)
You probably have worms, friend. Don't underestimate how many parasites there are in fish. Google that shit yo
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I don't know why this is so funny but I woke my roommate up from a nap I laughed so hard

life was a lot better back in my teenage years when I remember doing stupid shit like that in the kitchen

>my husband

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thanks friendo
do you prefer "my life partner" or "dear hubby :3"?

it's a joke lmao

the greentext at the end of your post kinda gives it away
Which is exactly what I said, retard.
>this post made me wonder, how much of a failure at life do you have to be to end up as a lunch lady?

My mom used to be a lunch lady. This was back when my dad had cancer and couldn't work. My mom, who was already working full-time at a restaurant, took a part-time job as a lunch lady to help pay off his enormous medical bills.

Fuck you.
Shepard is a name. Shepherd is a job. They are different words.

Yes. And the former derived from the latter. Many names are based on professions: Smith, Cooper, etc.
Cool, but that doesn't mean they're the same. Do you also think it's acceptable to call someone who makes beer a breuer?
>picks up phone without dialling and says "hello? police?"



>Coca-Cola rice which was just rice, coke, some chicken scraps & raw chicken skin mixed together
I seriously hope you didn't eat that anon.
I'm currently eating the worst chili I've ever had, it has commercial bolognese sauce consistency and zero flavor. Pls send help.
>First time having sushi
>go to some generic sushi place in a city nowhere near an ocean
>it's an all you can eat deal
>with friends who have ate sushi before so let them order
>try a little bit of everything
>it all tasted pretty good, some it really good
>definitely ate more than I should have though
>most of it was fairly common fish
>the only exotic thing was eel
>later that night I feel stabbing pains in my gut
>I don't leave the bathroom for over an hour
>try to lay down
>stomach says fuck you and I'm back to the bathroom
>repeat this for the night
>finally feel like I can sleep around 8am
>Don't wake up until around 6pm

Still to this day I can not eat sushi or stand the taste of wasabi. It sucks because I remember it all tasting so good. Still not sure what caused it, maybe an allergic reaction to the eel because nobody else got sick.
trolled. robert does that from everybody loves raymond, newfag
mmmmmm curdled citrus flavoured milk. I've tried it, it reminds me of a big drink in japan called Calpis. It has a milky, citrus taste like orange and milk but much more refined in regards to lumpiness and curdling.
>really hate olives
>at research meeting with lab group
>lights are off because someone had a powerpoint up
>prof brought snacks
>look like grapes
>grab several and shove into mouth
>they're olives
>immediately gag and throw up into my mouth
>everyone looks at me
>pretend to be coughing
>continue chewing olives and swallow them along with the vomit

Ugh it still upsets my stomach just thinking about it. I don't know what it is but I absolutely cannot deal with olives. I have a hard time walking by the olive bars at safeway without gagging.
>Out with the family to my favorite local steakhouse
>They only have 1 person working the dining room.
>They stopped serving their house salsa and chips when you get there.
>Wait 30 minutes to order
>Wait another 40 minutes to get food
>Dinner is undercooked and slightly cold, but they don't even.
>There is another 40 minute after we're done eating before the bill comes
>Another 30 minutes before the bill is taken away.

And that's how the best steakhouse in the high desert became a bar.
i like your phrase "roughly lozengal lump of wood." that was really impressive, and i enjoyed reading your paragraph.
>not just walking out if they're taking forever with the bill

They'll bring it pretty fucking fast if they see you walking towards the door.
does anyone have that old /b/ post about the guy who ate like 15 pickles or the one that had pic related as the post pic?
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They didn't when I walked out. After a half hour of waiting and even walking back in the kitchen to holler, I couldn't find anyone. So, we left. Had two club sandwiches and a couple beers a piece on the house.
you are literally a nigger tier thief.
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>spend a moderate amount of time preparing marinade for chicken, home with my dad for the holidays
>12 breast pieces, 2 bowls
>do a batch of 6 myself on the grill, it's perfect
>my dad says it's moist, flavorful, perfect, everything
>he never did chicken this good
>I say that when you actually watch the chicken until it's ready and brush it with marinade, it's easy to do it right
>Let him do the next batch to boost his confidence, the next day
>when he says it's done, I ask him how often he brushed the marinade on it
>he says he didn't at all
>he comes in with it, it's fucking black
>"it's still good on the inside"
>I try eating a piece, the burnt part is too thick, the inside is a bit bland
>drown it in cucumber laban, right in front of him
>he drowns all of his food in whatever sauce is available all of the time, doesn't notice that this is a slight to him
>only manage to eat one piece, it's awful
>the next day, hungry
>feel like cold chicken
>look in the fridge
>he dumped the marinade on the leftover chicken
>the marinade that had raw chicken soaking in it for 2 days, so I had to microwave the chicken for it to be safe to eat
>it tastes just as bad as before, why
>mfw I got a lab job directly related to my major first semester of college
>mfw great grades
>mfw my dad can't fail to disappoint me as a fan of food for a single meal
>afraid of runny egg
>wants medium rare ground beef
Are you actually expected to wait for them to collect the bill, or is it that you used a card? I usually just put cash on the tray and leave.

I find the entire process awkward. I wish decent places would let you just walk up to the counter and pay there when you're ready to go, the way they do it at slummier places.
you sound like a pretentious turd
And it felt good. My lips never felt more swollen.
Only if you consider grilling chicken difficult at all.
I like how everyone is replying to this post in such a hostile manner. The dude ordered his food and the guy fucked it up multiple times in multiple ways. Nothing wrong with sending it back.

>OMG so disrespectful, he wanted good food and they sent him garbage and he had the NERVE to ask them to get it right
>larvae in oatmeal
>microwaved food
>chocolate in the pasta
>near death

Uh huh...

Yeah, and you'd be one of the kids on his hands and knees gobbling up lasagna chunder. Hard to believe but some people just don't like the taste.
Former Dominos here.
But, just how? Nearly everything we make is pre-cooked or pasteurised.
My theory if some asshole in the line didn't wash his hands.
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Seems like everyone in this thread is a bunch of pussies. I go out of my way to eat undercooked, unsanitary prepared food and just to expose myself to as many pathogens and bacteria as I possibly can. I haven't been sick from eating food since I got food poisoning in 3rd grade and never get any thing more severe than the common cold.

I'm like the real life Rambo or a fucking space marine.
Wow! Can I suckle your manly penis?
"Pizza" place in unnamed flyover state that used American cheese and cracker crust.
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>open heart surgery
>parents smuggle in a hamburger

jesus christ america. i'm sure they did it because they love you but there's a reason you don't get to eat shit like that in the hospital
you'd probably get an STD and die you pussy
>olive garden salad
Fuck i know that feel. It's a toss up between the dressing, the onions and the olives that make it so good for me.
If i'm paying someone to make my food for me, it better be fucking cooked right. Anyone who disagrees is a literal autist. Fuck whoever thinks this guy is in the wrong tee-bee-hache
>pay for my food
>leave without paying
Nigga what?
>be 10
>mommy takes me to taco bell after school
>get two supreme chalupas because I am big boned
>get home
>its four supreme soft tacos
>finish it all

Im from norcal so words like sick, bad, or worst actually mean the opposite :^)
Aw, damn it. I meant leave without eating it. My epic new meme is ruined.

But I do do that though.
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One time I was making a glass of chocolate milk, I make mine pretty chocolatey, but I used expired milk.

Drank about half the glass before I noticed.
I had a friend who was breast fed by his grandmother. It never affected him but he always bought expired milk.
I was just eating some peanuts when I found out that David Bowie died.

RIP. :(
Any of those generic American "Chinese" restaurants. they are all the same and they all taste like shit.
I work at one. yes they do... holy fuck you're stupid.
I think the bread sticks taste like paper, and I agree that the chicken sandwich is terrible.
did everyone start chanting "lardass, lardass"?
I didn't know. I just cried a little bit now.

At least he squeezed out that last album.
Those fucking merchant / saw-tooth grain beetles are a huge pain.
You must have had some bad experiences because the one by my house is the shit.

I suspect that they asked the doctor if it would be okay. The only concern would have been the high salt content. All in all, as little as I was eating of the hospital food, something that I would actually eat was probably not so bad.
I thought it was representing his inability to communicate and was put in a situation where he needed to.
>lots of choices, Lots of explaining
>gets asked again. more interaction.
You see where im going?
I have two stories that are connected. First the milder one
>5 years ago or so
>were at grandma's summer house
>been there with the family for a week
>Aunt come over
>We take all our leftovers from the grill the night before and cut it into really tiny pieces.
>people just grab whatever they want
>pretty decent lunch
>I ate before so i just grab a single 1x1x1 cm of chicken
>"huh.. tastes kinda rubbery.."
>one hour later
>Fever of the decade
>stomach pain of the century
>stumbles to the toilet
>only water
>scratch that
>only blood
>grandma reluctantly takes me to the hospital after a day
>"Wow, you are hours from dying!"
>pain, fever and blood gone in hours.

This is followed up by the worst ever.

>next year
>going to take the boat to grandma's summer house as usual
>hungry as fuck grab a ham sandwich in the store next to the terminal
>heat record that summer
>scarf down that bad boy
>go onto the boat
>I know this feel....
>same symptoms
>i went from fine to dying in 15 minutes
>spend the entire trip on the loo sacrificing my innards to some forgotten god.
>get picked up by grandma
>she isn't impressed
>for all the wrong reasons
>"you're not coming up here to spend that time on a hospital. Let's get home and see how you feel!"
>I put a mattress on the floor and try to sleep
>I sweat through it leaving a haunting stain that i will tell ghost stories about to my kids.
>I beg to get a ride to the hospital
>"At least call them and see what they say first.. it takes 45 minutes to go there after all.. but DON'T say that you have a fever AND stomach pain. they will just urge you to go to the hospital then!"
>bitch are you serious?
>"Hello, I have stomach pains, extremely high fever and i'm shitting blood!"
>Gave grandma a stone cold look as i said this
>They urge me to come over instantly.
>Grandma says "Oh.. i didn't know he had stomach pains!"
>I get admitted
>they won't give me antibiotics this time
>I have to soldier through
cont 1/2
>I know what he’s about to do
>Doc knows that I know
>silent acknowledgement
>I get fingered
>He basically says “so.. yeah..” and leaves
>I’m scared shitless
>ask my gf to hold me company over the phone that night
>she obviously agrees
>one text then I can’t get hold of her
>can’t get hold of her until I get out of the hospital a few days later
>she had been cheating on me that night.
>I get real mad
>she says that we can’t measure pains and that my fear of dying combined with enough pain to put me out of commission isn’t worse nor less than her shame for cheating.
>she begs me to take her back
>I do (I were in a bad spot and were incredibly lonely)
>she says she only said that to appear nicer and that she really didn’t want to get back together
>my friend explains the situation to all her friends and her family

Not THAT /ck/ related, but still
>Go to eat at girlfriends house, her mother is making a big salad
>I enjoy just eating salads so why not her mum is also a chef too
>food is prepared and served
>first bite is really salty
>every leaf just tastes of salt
>nobody is saying anything
>i continue to munch down on literally just salt
>the slower i eat the worse it gets
>decide to eat as fast as i can to get over this nasty salt taste
>finish my bowl of salt and gulp down my water
>"Oh god i put way too much salt" her mother says
>they have hardly touched their food
>"We can't eat this, let me go make something else"
>Literally just ate a whole fucking bowl of super over-salted salad and killed my mouth for 2 days straight and could have avoided it all if i just fucking waited for them to notice it was not edible.
There are too many bars and restaurants in Spain which causes problems like this.
Also the complementary dish is typically given "free" with a beer or before a meal, the problem is the price of that is thrown onto the price of the meal, they gave it expecting you to eat a meal and pay for it, because you would not pay for the meal giving you that free tapa was giving away food to a non customer.
If in a tourist destination you can always get free tapas or even leave without paying if you tell them you are in a big group of friends and you will be bringing your friends back to their business later on, most owners will give you free drinks and tapas excited at all the profit they will (wont) make later on.
once when I was a kid I made orange juice and the glass was filled with black dots, after closer inspection there were some small bugs in it, they came from the orange. Decided to drink it anyway, knew it wouldnt taste bad or make me sick so I said fuck it, would do the same today
>picks up phone without dialling and says "hello? police?"

>be kid
>go over friend's place to play video games
>halfway through our session his mom calls us for dinner
>we enter the kitchen
>windows are closed and covered in steam
>air is full of steam from cooking, immediately start sweating
>sit at the table
>its covered with oilcloth that's so dirty with fat and unidentified sticky substance whenever someone lifted a hand from it itd made a sound like velcro
>dinner is served
>its spaghetti
>apperantely their idea of a spaghetti is pasta with ketchup
>its not even the proper pasta, its the one with thin short pieces you pur in chicken soup
>the pasta is unbelieveably overcoocked
>you can no longer tell individual strains of pasta from each other
>if you stirred hard enough you could probably make a paste of unified consistency
>look to my right
>his father is putting """spaghetti""" on a piece of white bread and eating it like this
12 years later even thinking of this makes me gag
> i assume was sour milk


guess again.
it was probably mold then.
you are probably the last one who will

he probably thinks he finally found a friend in you that doesn't mind his severe handicap.

he was wrong.
>> too ashamed to go back and complain about my nachos
where they niggers?
fucking women
lard is delicious, you're just a picky eater faggot lmao
went to red robin for first time with friends family ( I was 12) Ordered our food and right as they finished bringing out orders for 8 people the kids weird probably hungover older brother threw up an insane amount of food all over the table and everyones food like the exorcist and then proceeded to try to take a bite out of the puke covered burger. We left without paying. Fucking gross.

>mfw I got a lab job directly related to my major first semester of college
>mfw great grades
>mfw my dad can't fail to disappoint me as a fan of food for a single meal

why the fuck did you think this part was necessary

your post is just like 'here's this legitimately rough-sounding experience oh by the way i'm a huge ungrateful cunt'
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>at a concert
>public really into it
>getting hungry
>i had a bat saved for dinner
>take the bat
>eat it alive
>not sure what I was expecting
It tasted and smelled fine.
I was an autistically picky eater as a kid and wouldn't touch anything I even thought was off.
>spring break trip to Normandy with mom in high school
>go to Mont Saint-Michel for a day
>uncle recommends getting an omelette there
>his word on food is very reliable usually
>look at menu, prices are fucking nuts
>we split the cheapest one because whatever, we put aside cash for it
>it comes around, with a lobster tail
>turns out they hid the option for an omelette sans lobster in small print at the back of the menu
>lobster is gross, mushy, and buttery in a bad way
>omelette is about 60% butter, shit texture and bland due to all the fucking butter and lack of spices
I'm not even gonna admit the price on the bill, but I recognize it was mostly our fault for acting dumb. I'm still pissed like six years later.
What the hell are you doing?
I'm too late >:^(
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Accidentally posting in the wrong thread and deleting the dupe
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>sleep over at friend's house
>pour cereal into bowl
>cockroaches pour into my bowl and skitter away under the table
My best friend growing up lived down the street. One of the last times I went to stay the night with them, the meal of the evening was a fifty gallon trash bag filled with stale theater popcorn infested with roaches.

This was just before they went bankrupt because her mom went into massive debt buying useless shit online. Their house was floor to ceiling of unopened boxes from eBay. The crazy bat had thousands of dollars in flamingo "collectibles"...
He's going to be the next to die, you know.

The more people post him, the sooner it will happen.
>Dad cries into bowl of larva and oatmeal while my brother screams and starts puking
This is like some sort of skit
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>get sick and vomit everywhere because you are hungover
>leave without paying

I hope your friend's family dies in a car crash
He'll be fine.
As a sever of multiple restaurants including Red Robin this is the average attitude of a stupid server that is new as fuck. You are a server. I mean don't be a ass hole to then but in the end it is a service industry. Any self respecting server(haha yeah self respect) would fucking be livid with the kitchen staff. Bastard used to over cook all my damn steaks at Texas Roadhouse and thankfully most guests understood it was not on me.
You can greentext multiple lines even without meme arrows? Woah


What did you eat the night before/that morning? Food poisoning doesn't take effect that quick.
No you didn't do it right.

I mean does no one else see this?
That second line is green without an >. Am I the only one who cares? I've been on this site for 3 years and have never seen this.
Went to a pho place and found a cockroach in my noodles.
I now hate viets.
>it is possible that you are also a moron, you should know that if you type out a long enough sentence, it will all be greentexted, while also being on seperate lines.
Yes, it can

Have been in emergency where doctors confirmed this
How is
>get sick and vomit everywhere because you are hungover
a long sentence?
its long if you post an image with your reply which cuts into the amount of room the post has
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>on vacation in japan
>go to fancy ass gourmet restaurant for japanese aunt's birthday
>had to eat sea urchin
>bird liver
>other shit i can't remember
>had to eat it all or dishonor my famry
>didn't have enough finesse to hide the fact i was washing it down with water per mouthful

Maybe I'm an uncultured swine for not enjoying the food, but I wasn't ready, man.
But where else have you ever seen that happen?
Same thing happened to me but at a burger chain from the UK called Byron's. This little beetle crawled over our table, little dude probably lived in the wood panneling.

Food was actually really nice and they have excellent courgette fries.

Got it for free, with the understanding that we would maybe keep the beetle incident hush hush.
Hey man, at least you tried it all, that's a hell of a lot more than a lot of people will do.
>ordering an egg burger medium rare at red robin who probably employ illegal mexicans as their cooks

Did you think you were at a real burger place and not some dive fast food joint?
Tried to buy some street food in India and a guy just straight up pooped in my hands.
>my favorite right now a Celtic BBQ Burger from O'Learys - yum.
Sometimes I forget that this place has a lot of women posting, then I see annoying posts like this.
>About 15
>Long road trip
>Late at night about 10ish
>Nowhere to eat but a shoney's
>Get the buffet
>Eat a bunch of foods
>Desert time
>Eat all the fruit
>The kiwi tasted a bit odd
>Back to the long road
>Vomit uncontrollably for the next 15 minutes on the side of the road
>We had to stop at a hotel for the night and i spent it in the bathroom the whole time
>Food poisoning yay

Can't look at a shoney's or even hear the name without feeling ill.
>have a concert in middle school (played the tuba)
>do pretty good
>mom takes me to red lobster
>have some shrimp and clams
>it's pretty good
>having a grand ol' time
>notice lots of phlegm in the back of my throat
>phlegm starts making it hard to breathe
>throat starts closing
>holy shit
>end up in hospital
And that's how I learnt I'm allergic to shellfish.
Tonight's dinner was pretty fucking bad senpais. It was one ball of mozzarella eaten straight out the packet.

To top it off it was near rancid, but not quite over the line so I did eat it all because I was starving hungry. Its amazing the things hunger will do to you
nigga you dont know shit about shit so dont ever let me catch you posting again
Sprakey pls
Why in the fuck would anyone thing all you can eat raw fish is a good idea?

Just spend the extra money and get some decent sushi.
>be me this past summer
>travel to Alabama to meet with family
>unable to shit after I travel
>must have some subconscious mind block because I want to shit but I never can when I travel
>been 4 days with no bowel movement in alabama
>say fuck this and go to Walmart to pick up laxatives
>take three times the dose of that pink liquid in the blue bottle
>drink a lot of extra strength coffee to try and speed up the process
>an hour later, nothing.
>time for dinner with the family
>we go out
>Mexican food
>an hour after we get back I get the worst pain in my intestines of all time, it felt like cinder blocks were trying to be moved throughout my bowels
>it eventually moves down to my colon
>run to the bathroom and I lay down what can only be described as an extra huge brown trout chocolate mud baby ogre shit
>smells like sweaty Mexican armpits, a sewage plant, and old eggs
>i am free!
>go back out to living room with a big grin on my face
>Oh it's not over...do a 180 before I even sit down
>the next shit is just brown spotty water with no odor
>the stream lasts for thirty seconds
>I go back out to the living room
>immediately turn around again
>more odorless brown water spraying out of me

I had to keep hitting the toilet. I was chugging water to avoid dehydration and after it was all over I felt like I had cleansed my body.

It seems like all the food I ate before the Mexican just vanished, because all I smelled was Mexican.
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>extra huge brown trout chocolate mud baby ogre shit
wrong. my mom has been in the school ktichen for the past 7 years now. Shes smart, college educated, and has 15 years of nursing under her belt. She chose this career because working the ER was too hectic after she had me and my brother. She says it is literally the best job shes had in her life. She loves working with children. The stories she has told me are really eye opening. She says the kids remind her to be thankful because she knows that-for quite a few of them- that might be the only meal they have for that day.

Don't let fuckers like >>7252872 let you think otherwise!

I'm in college now, but I still remember volunteering with lunch ladies/lunch dudes in middle school and they were some of the nicest people I met.

How was it?
Y'all motherfuckers need Pizza Luce or Cosetta's. GOAT TC Pizza.
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>be 13
>go to souper salad for with my dysfunctional mother and asshole stepdad and two sisters
>sit down and start getting a salad
>mother starts yelling at one of my sisters
>come back and ask my mom to quiet down because she's embarrassing me
>she starts screaming at me calling me an asshole
>turn pale white from embarrassment and quickly walk outside to the parking lot
>feel everyone's eyes on me as I go out the door


>be 10
>be at sea world San Diego with same family members
>at one of the buffet places in the park
>my sister said something that pissed my mom off (probably something very petty that wouldn't make the average mother get pissed)
>mom reaches across the table and pulls my sisters hair onto her plate and screams while doing so
>I walk away pretending I don't know them
>mom screams "where the fuck are you going asshole" while she still has my sisters hair in her hands


Thankfully my father got custody of me shortly after
find a different doctor, get some deworming chocolates/pills
damn dude no offense but your mom sounds like a heinous bitch
I actually laughed
>expecting people to have ranch and ketchup as a condiment at home
Is this an americunt thing?
>2012 and I'm living with my then girlfriend in a studio apartment. She has to visit her grandmother who is on her death bed, turns into a 4 month stay. She's in another country, so we can't just visit each other whenever we please.

Finally, she is coming back and we are both desperate for some lovin'

Pick her up at the airport and head home (about an hour from the airport). She's all over me but I would prefer not to die on the highway. By the time we get there we both realize we're starving.

Check out the new thai place literally next door from the apartment. Better recharge the battery before our adventure. Huh...egg tastes terrible this dish but we're rushing through the meal.

Back home we start having fun when sudden sharp pains begin in my stomach. I can feel gas building and churning within me. Cthulhu has woken from his deathless slumber!

Politely excuse myself while choking on bile and fighting back manly tears.

*scene missing*

12 hours later I crawl from the bathroom several pounds lighter. I look back at what I had created...study the ballistics and confirm that I was firing from both ends. Recall with shame that I took a shower at one point and vomited all over my feet...

My lady is fast asleep with headphones on...that's strange she doesn't usually sleep with headphones...oh right studio apartment. She was 5 feet away from a filthy man puking and shitting his brains out, probably not the best melody. Intense embarrassment made worse by 2 day abstinence recovery.

We're married now...but she never forgot my warm welcome.
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ate an organic gluten free free range hard boiled egg boiled in mineral water
>with freshly cracked long indian peppercorns smoked with hay from where the chicken was raised
>with freshly cracked salt crystals smoked with oak red wine barrels

and i only got 200 likes on instagram
>fucking disgusting
>couldnt make a butter sauce or cream sauce or milk sauce on the spot

you deserve that dirt dry perogey you fucking pleb
At least you welcomed her back from her trip with a rip.
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This thread was not a smooth ride, fellas.
>(played the tuba)
I'm so sorry, anon.
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>fat fuck sis
>cant cook or clean for shit
>borderline personality disorder, fucking terrible
>makes lentil soup


>mfw nothing added to the soup but lentils and water
u r cheeky 1
You guys don't keep ketchup at home? What do you stop your tendies in?
I grew up in a family like that. Tbh I always just sat there and quietly ate so I'd get something to eat. Got me less stares too, because then no one had to watch me leave; they just stared at my family as long as I didn't move.
You write like a literal moron.

Be a bigger fucking baby


Top kek


Lol that's fantastic


Fuck off Chad


Fucking Euronav probably


Tranny you should go kill yourself


Dine n dash if they're not gonna give you the bill nigga
She is.
Holy shit, anon. I think your clamshit scent gave your friend's cat cancer.

>mfw you guys are sperging out about cottage pie
Y'all niggas think any airline out there would serve lamb? Shit was beef, yo. Cottage. Not shepherd.
I love olives and think everyone who doesnt must be a queer or a commie BUT
Who the hell just puts olives on the table as a snack? As a side for mediterranean dishes or together with other antipasti k, but just olives as if they were crisps?
I snack on just olives, but not at home. It's more of a camping treat for me.
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