this man should not be allowed to cook chicken
or to go anywhere near chicken
the real horror begins at 5:26
>hey guys I made some pink chicken again for you /ck/!
I think it's time you guys stop making fun of this man. He is clearly not all there mentally. Imagine how you would feel if someone said terrible things about you online everyday. Wouldn't feel good now would it?
you can see the fajita is leaking/peeing fat and salsa juice (wtf is up with the super watery salsa?) when he takes a bite... and then does that fucking annoying girly mouth covering right after
Are we posting rare Ja/ck/s?
Was literally just thinking about that, will do.
jack does it again and again
claims that he even uses a meat thermometer for the chicken in his latest posted chicken fuck up (op post)
he's too dumb and proud to actually fully cook the chicken despite everyone telling him that he is simply wrong and it's not fully cooked
I watched this vid the other day when it came out and decided that jack is just trolling. There is no way that a man that is sold nationwide could cook so poorly.
I just recently realized that my parents used to buy jack's salsa...I thought it was just bad costco salsa...turns out it is bad costco salsa FROM JACK.
I really wanted to see him lose a finger to that multitasker he was leaning on.
For three goddamn potatoes too. Anyone with half a brain would have just grabbed a goddamn knife.
God, he makes me angry. Not just because he's the least skilled cook I have ever seen but because he stands there week after week for fucking years and pretends to teach others.
>"Just pop it in the microwave for a minute."
Things you haven't paid enough attention to because you kept looking at where he points with his fork:
>fork leaves red marks where he holds the meat
>the place where he cut fills up with red liquid literally by itself
>leg on the right is literally pink
He didn't say "this turned out wrong. I blame the product."
He said "Look how beautiful and moist this is! There's blood coming out here, so I'm not going to eat that part, just the part a quarter inch away from it that's also oozing fluid. If this is too pink for you a minute in a microwave oven will magically fix that."
That's the real problem with this lardball; every goddamn video with chicken is full of comments about how he fucked it up and he's too much of a proud manchild to learn from it.
If someone served him this in a restaurant he'd probably throw it through a window.
since he does it wrong (leaves it semi-raw and pink) repeatedly despite being told it's undercooked, he is doing it out of pride - he thinks he knows better when he clearly doesn't
he is a seriously arrogant "regular joe"
"business associates and personal friends."
So this is the guy, eh?
You mean how long until it happens again? I dunno, how long until he wakes up?
I can't stop looking at this picture.
I saw it before I went to bed last night and it made me have a dream.
I was a Zebra in the Savannah eating a patch of grass. A delicious patch of grass with a few heaping tablespoons of mud. I am the king of the Zebra and I feel fantastic, life couldn't be better.
Something moves in the trees
I look over and see nothing. The trees are scary though.. something about the trees today. As though they would choke me out if I disobeyed them before shunning me from their lives.
I think nothing of it.
I go back to eating grass with my chums.
The next thing I know my friends are scrambling for cover around me
I look back to the trees
One of them is charging towards me.
The words 'Jack on the Hunt' are floating in the air behind him.
He stops for breath and I try to escape but it is too late, I am within range of The Best Crossbow You'll Ever Use and the next thing I know I am on the floor bleeding out.
Jack approaches my corpse and I hear him say 'yeah that crossbow works much better than the store brands' as he takes a bite out of my hide.
'the African sun already cooked this, the juices are flowing'
Those will be the last words I ever hear.
I wake up in a cold salsa sweat.
Cooking With Jack Show 11 hours ago
+noviceprepper53 I honestly enjoyed them more than lettuce. They taste like lettuce that is double thick. Kind of cool.
or you know.. "twice as thick".. who the fuck says double thick
But it was just a seasoning packet....how would that help this fucking retard to learn how to cook chicken thoroughly?
REMINDER THAT JACK'S EXCUSE FOR RAW MEAT (let alone undercooked meat) IS THAT HE CHECKS THE TEMP BEFORE HE EATS IT, AND ALSO HIS CAMERA SETTINGS MAKE HIS MEAT LOOK PINKER THAN IT IS IRL.
The seasoning packet instructions aside, when I saw the size/cut of his chicken I instantly knew it would need to be cooked longer.
Mostly because I can cook, and he's weirdly stubborn when he sees instructions (well the ones he reads).
I don't actually think he can read.
The only problem with Jacks food is how he presents it as being of a very high standard.
If Jack opened up a fast food chain he would have plenty of success, and I am sure he would become a millionaire very easily. Lets examine Jacks cooking and compare it to the most successful fast food chain, McDonalds
McDonalds has a very low, thin meat quality that it impossible to undercook. If Jack opened a fast food restaurant then the meat wouldn't be thick enough to undercook so it wouldn't be a problem. Besides when people buy fast food they don't care if it is a little undercooked
Jacks food isn't healthy but nobody expects health from a fast food place. His bean salad is a great example of something that could be a success in a fast food place
Jack is very friendly and loveable. He is quite similar to Colonel Sanders in many ways. I can easily foresee a future in which people discuss Pastor Jack and his secret blend of salsa and cream cheese
>Ease to make
Any untrained fool can make Jacks recipes, he is just an inventor, not a chef. He is like Willy Wonka but with tins of onion instead of chocolate and experimental cooking equipment from Amazon instead of umpa lumpas
Jack has a staggering amoutn of food. He makes breakfast, cookies, main meals. Plenty for an entire fast food menu. I would love to see Jack creating regional dishes for example in France he could sell Cool Whip Croissants and in Italy they could prepare Lazy Mans Spaghetti and Frozen pizza meatballs
The only thing he needs is a name. Jackdonalds? Scalfanizza Hut? Palestinian children must Dieminos?
First time I've ever heard of this guy. How does this butterball have so many subscribers? He's terrible at cooking, isn't attractive, and isn't a super eloquent speaker or anything. Are people really that dumb that they think this guy deserves my sub
Scalfani's: The best food poisoning you'll ever taste
SnakAttak: Raw. Simple. Beautiful
Myrna's Salad Bar: It's always a party
Jack's World Kitchen: When in Rome, re-do as the Roman's do
It's this a joke? That rubbery shoulder isn't cooked.
This I don't get out. Maybe everyone watches it to see what afuck up he is and he thinks we are actually watching it because it's good? Or do people comment saying don't listen to the haters, they b mad cuz they gotta eat shit while watching you cow on gourmet food.
>'the African sun already cooked this, the juices are flowing'
I lost my shit at this. 10/10 I'm crying.
I hate how he closes the comments like a massive pussy on his first fuck up videos. If you suck so bad you can't review your own recipes before you upload them, then at least learn to embrace the hate.
>Any untrained fool can make Jacks recipes, he is just an inventor, not a chef. He is like Willy Wonka but with tins of onion instead of chocolate and experimental cooking equipment from Amazon instead of umpa lumpas
this guy is like the perfect example of american men he's like the family guy dad. fat, loud, rude, obnoxious, ignorant, greasy, eats like a fucking pig hahaha
haha I'm actually laughing how can one man be so repulsive?
Behold as Jack gets super butthurt about some chili because these plebs just don't understand his refined cookery.
I wish I could have been there to shove his fat hypocritical head into one of those pots until he stopped resisting. Goddamn.
Right? He's so fucking bitter before the voting has even started. Around the 6 minutes or so.
He's just a fat child with a beard. And he was trash talking so hard while he made that shit too, despite it just being a bunch of canned crap and a piece of meat he kept in the freezer for a year.
>too much shit
>cooked on high heat for 1-2 hours instead of 3+ hours on lower heat to bring out all the flavor
>could have left the beer out
he did so much wrong and it's somehow upsetting for him that his shitty bean and corn stew did not win, truly a moron
Does this guy make real money on his "cooking" show? He is clueless, a bad cook, the things he makes looks disgusting, and the production og his videos are shit tier, even for a food youtuber. On literally every video of him, I get far superior videos of the same dish in the related section. They look more tasty, more healthy and the production value is higher.
I hate him.
>Does this guy make real money on his "cooking" show? He is clueless, a bad cook, the things he makes looks disgusting, and the production og his videos are shit tier, even for a food youtuber. On literally every video of him, I get far superior videos of the same dish in the related section. They look more tasty, more healthy and the production value is higher.
>I hate him.
He makes money, but not much. He typically gets 10k views per video, 3 videos per week. He might make $0.80 per 1000 views, so $24 a week. Rough estimate, maybe I'm off by a factor of 2 or 3, but he's not getting rich.
He lives in Tennessee somewhere now. Moved there from Cali. because the schools there wanted to teach his son about genitals and gays and not about how Christ is the Way.
I am not making this up.
His inability to complete even the simplest of tasks is like water for my parched soul
him being unable to read would explain him picking up turkey instead of chicken in the salad video. "I didn't know they did turkey in these packs" he says, as the word turkey is written in large bold letters across the packet, his friend/bull covering for the broken man.
> the real horror begins at 5:26
> >hey guys I made some pink chicken again for you /ck/!
uhhhhhh what? Is this some sort NSA experiment to see how far people will be convinced by the pressure of consensus? I'm not seeing any pink chicken there.
God damnit his videos make me irrationally fucking rage. I don't get it on so many fucking levels. Does he not realize he fucks up everything he does? Do the people who sub/watch him not realize he's fuckign retarded!
God fucking damnit!
I'm really scared that I know that I live near him now
he hates you too
Every time he calls himself a regular person or average joe I feel offended on behalf of the millions of people who can't tie their own shoes but are still smarter than this fat arrogant manchild bigot.
No, fucker, even The Average Joe knows better than to sip the blood from a raw chickenleg. Fuck you!
He doesn't even know how to eat like a human. He sticks his tongue out like a fucking cow when he takes bites because god forbid he doesn't fill every little bit of his void like mouth with food every time he's forced to exert the energy to open it.
He reminds me of my obese fast-food loving coworker. I hate eating with him because he makes those noises, and also he whines any time we don't go to one of those hamplanet restaurants where they overfill your plate with shitfood instead of just giving you a reasonable quantity of something good.
he boils his omelettes in plastic bags
that smile as his cheeks turn red.
that twinkle in his right eye saying i wish life was just this simple
hes a happy man
at least he cooks for himself he is already better than most people
>YOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HO...HOODEEDOODEEDOOOO
>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.
>Head to the local Kroger to gather my bountiful canned ingredients. Nobody else understands that THIS IS WHAT I DO, if you're going to criticize me on canned items, you're in the wrong place friend.
>The judges will never see my secret ingredient coming
>I've been saving a year old brisket coated in coffee grounds for this purpose, my Christ has commanded it
>Pour every bit of 26 minutes into assembling my chili masterpiece, no one else at the cook off will have dedicated their day as I have
>Tammy finally wakes up and removes her C-PAP mask and gets ready for the chili bowl cook off
>We head over to the football field, Jack is there with his melanin enhanced friends. One of them is giving me dirty looks; I think he's dealing marijuana cigarettes
>I hand my masterpiece to the lovely woman governing this event and she explains that all of the folks present will taste and judge. This will provide fair results as everyone tasting gets a voice (so she tells me).
>Christ bellows into my ears "BLASPHEMY!"
>Why aren't 3 neutral judges allowed at this event? I don't trust the opinion of these homely people with their heretic taste buds. They probably don't even support napalming Palestine.
>I urge Jack Jr and Tammy to vote for what they feel is the best chili, I WILL NOT stoop to the level of telling family and friends to vote for my chili.
>No one has the palate to appreciate freezer aged brisket
>No one here understands the complexity of canned beans and sauce
>This ruse of a contest has been a farce from the start
>I know in my enlarged heart that I am the true winner, and that my chili can bring warring nations together. The love is in the freezer burn.
>Jesus has told me I must infiltrate a high school chili cook off the following week to exact my vengeance via passive aggressive insults to children.
>These people think recipes off the Internet are good? BLASPHEMY!
>Where are the award winners? WHERE ARE THEY?
>I end up leaving extremely disappointed. I await Jesus' command to lead me to my next location for the next highly awaited episode of Jack on the Go.
>Such is the life of a Youtube cooking god
would you do a compilation of this video like webm related please?
>couldn't last 5 days on a weight loss venture
That's my Ja/ck/
>the Scalfani Toad anxiously waiting and looking around to get even a glimpse of its main prey, the common American Burger, as its hunger grows
>once the Scalfani Toad spots the burger, it will extend his enormous starchy tongue at great force and speed towards its prey in an attempt grab it in its greedy toad mouth in one big and vicious bite attack; it's not rare to see the Scalfani Toad eat its prey whole
I want to hear this narrated by David Attenborough over slowmotion clips of Ja/ck/ catching a burger in his mouth with his tongue
>post nice comment
>have ja/ck/ like it
>edit in the picture