Horror Stories from eating out with friends/family

>be at dinner with family
>at outback steakhouse
>dad hates when the restaurants uses the title of the restaurant in any way
>waiter is walking over
>dad's fists are white
>"Welcome to the outback"

We didn't even get our waters yet.

>>7239368
I think your dad is autistic.

>>7239325
what steakhouse

150$ a plate sounds ridiculous

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>>7239368
Wait, what?
That's pretty autistic.

I'll share a story with my dad
>be in shitty roadside restaurant
>guy is wiping the tables by spraying them with windex
>dad starts talking to me about it in earshot of the waiter
>waiter gets more and more pissed but keeps working
>now using a flashlight to look for shit under tables
>accidentally shines briefly in dad's eyes
>dad says something to the effect of "watch what you're doing boy"
>mfw waiter gets up in his face, screaming match ensues
>dad says he didn't say shit to waiter, guy gets fired
>meal not even comped

>>7239325
Tell us more about your dad.

Has he always done this?
I'm genuinely curious

>>7239388

kek, he wasn't cut out for the business anyway if he can't take something like that without going off. Was he black or something what with the "boy" thing?

>>7239388
Was the waiter black? For some reason blacks hate being called boy.

>>7239368
To be fair, I find it odd that they do this in the US (and probably other places, idk about that). I mean, I know where the fuck I am, it's not like people are like "welcome to Maple Street 432B" when you come and visit them. Servers don't do this in my country though, which is why I found it odd in the US.

>>7239404
>>7239405
Surprisingly enough, dude was white

Albeit the white trash, works in a side of the interstate shit hole cleaning tables in the middle of fucking nowhere kinda white.

>>7239413
I notice this the most with anything that is franchised or some poor business that is trying to push their brand hard. I just chalk it up to the ultra capitalism of my country.

>dinner with parents
>nice seafood restaurant
>mom orders ahi tuna
>says she wants it "well done"
>waiter says, "Christ, lady, why not just get ^canned^ tuna?"

>>7239325
> FIL only likes going to shitty chain restaurants
> goes to Outback, orders crab legs
> goes to Red Lobster, orders steak
> asks me if I want to try some if his meal
> "I'm fine, thank you."
> "I didn't ask how you are, I asked if you wanted any!"

Our town is full of wonderful restaurants that aren't expensive. I hate paying good money for microwaved slop.

>we tip with a rip

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>>7239413
How does the interaction go?

Does your dad just stand up and walk out while the waitress politely welcomes you to their establishment?

Or is it a confrontation
>welcome to Outback Steakhouse sir, the specials are–
>"what the fuck did you just say?"
>we-welcome to Outback Steakho–
>"I know where the fuck I am, I don't tell you my address when you come to my house!"
>bu-but sir....
>get your coat son, we're leaving....
>oh, okay dad...
Your face when you still haven't had the bloomin' onion

>>7239452

I'm not that guy, lad, I just said I found it odd when I visited the US. It didn't bother me at all, just something I was surprised by.

>>7239434

Based waiter.


My father ordered ahi tuna tacos once. He did not know they they came rare. Freaked out when they were put in front of him and he saw the tuna.

He is a "steak well done and slathered in ketchup, A1, ranch, spicy mustard, and hotsauce" kind of guy (yes, all this bullshit at once).

>>7239464
Sorry m8

>>7239452
Meant for
>>7239368

Please tell us more

>>7239465
Fucking nasty

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>>7239446
>goes to Outback, orders crab legs
>goes to Red Lobster, orders steak
your father-in-law could at least have the common courtesy to not do things ass-backwards

>Take cousins to pretty good Chinese place down the street
>They want hamburgers and hot dogs
>Complain that the Chinese place near them has hamburgers and hot dogs.

i take my grandparent's out to nice steak dinners all the time
steak and potatoes is my gran's favorite meal
they both always order everything extra well done
it's cringe but i love them so we cool

>>7239509
Aren't those essentially just the same restaurant with different themes?

>>7239518
grandparents are excusable, they grew up in a time when undercooked meat could make you very sick

>>7239526
Considering the themes I'd imagine there would be at least some focus on the appropriate one or the other.
But chain places are chain places.

>>7239446
>"I didn't ask how you are, I asked if you wanted any!"
>"I didn't ask how you are"

Oh fucking stab this man in the face for me please. My grandparents, and my mother all used to say this when I'd say "I'm fine" as if it was some bit that they think Carlin would have said.

Also fuck this new captcha thing (unless this is some weird glitch going on).

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>>7239451

I got you family

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>>7239446
My mom does the same thing anon

>go to one of the best steakhouses in the area when I was visiting in Cali
>everyone gets a steak
>mom orders fish
>even the waitress thought she was joking
>mfw

>at restaurant with friends and acquaintances
>one girl with ridiculously long hair finishes her pasta then fishes out a long-ass hair from her plate
>complains to waitress and demands her meal be comped
>chef is bald

i mean come on

>>7239518
Nice.

>>7239325
>be my last birthday
>go out with sisters and their husbands
>stress to both that I'd really prefer it if was just the adults (I don't eat out much, so when I do I do like it to be somewhat special)
>middle sister completely fine with that, older sis has a 18 month that she just cannot part with
For the record, I love my niece and nephews
>go to very nice japanese restaurant that is obviously pricey
>babbling toddler
>screaming
>"No kids menu?"
>In line at bathroom and guy politely, but very firmly lets me know that it's his wife and his 10th anniversary
>dirty looks from basically the entire restaurant
>even the waitress couldn't hide her disdain for our group

She eventually got the picture and took her daughter out to the car, but the damage was done. I don't mind kids in public, generally, but this was not a place for a young child and we all knew it.

The only other shitty thing I can think of is when my dad tried to send back the steak that I had ordered blue rare and he told the server that it wasn't safe to eat and to bring it back medium. I hated to have to do this, but I told my father that I'm a grown man and I can have a steak how I want it, not to mention I was paying for it.

>>7239689
Way to go anon, you can have your tendies any way you want when you're spending your own big boy points

>>7239689
You did nothing wrong.

>>7239768
This

>be me
>dads a vegetarian
>tells people in 2 seconds
>not to much of a big deal
>orders what he can
>ALWAYS asks for everything st the same time
>Starters, mains all come together

I hate this, I want my starter first not with the main course!!

>>7239368
I hate when everything on the menu has some cute name so you can't just order food like a normal person

>good day sir, can I take your order?
>ah yes, I'll have two Hottentot Hot Shots™ and a Cumguzzler Party Platter with the A-Mama Mia, It'sa Me-A Italian(o) (Brick)-Layer Caesar salad on the side
>very good sir, and to drink?
>water

sometimes you can get away with saying the number but these days if I'm forced to I'll just point on the menu. Fuck that

>>7239982
I just order the thing by what it is, the wait staff isn't robotic & neither are you

>>7239620
what steakhouse

>>7239620
My mother tends to do this.

>Steakhouse, special occasion.
>"Get the filet anon, it's the best!"
>8oz filet, 22.95
>22oz Ribeye 22.95
>Everyone orders their filets well-done. Hide my cringe with a polite smile
>My steak comes out medium-rare, perfectly cooked.
>"Anon your steak looks so good!"
>Everyone else struggles to cut through their well-done 'tender' filets
>Everyone looks sad and hungry still
>I have leftover steak for steak'n eggs

I eventually gave in and asked why everyone wanted medium to well-done, apparently everyone in my family is deathly afraid of food poison, almost irrationally.

>>7239465
I once made a dish called retard steak, based off some friend's family recipe. You take a steak, cut a pocket in the middle, and fill it with ketchup, mustard, and mayo. Sear until blue rare, blend it, and stuff that in another steak. Stuff that mixture in another steak, and sear until medium rare.

Was actually p gud tbqh

>>7240083
I seriously don't know why people order well done. It's like ordering old boots. Medium rare is best.

>>7240054
I'll be honest I can't remember the name of the place since this was years ago. It was in near Fresno I know that.

>>7239325
>>Be at very nice steakhouse ($150/plate) w/ in-laws
Should have had a good chef then.
>>MIL orders Prime Grade Prime Rib
>>Complains that it is "very fatty, gross and not lean"
Prime should be well-marbled, dispersed well like a web, not wide ribbons or any noticeable fat. This is not a ribeye, but a roast, correct?
>>Asks for Heinz 57 and slathers Prime Rib in it
So what. It's the only steaksauce that has a nice kick of horseradish and hot mustard.
>>FIL orders "Extra well done" NY Strip
>>Comes out as charred leather
>>Complains it is "dry and chewy"
Good chef should have been able to make it well done and not dry, both. It's NY Strip which has great marbling if truly prime.

It's really, your assertions that kind of suck. Did you recommend the place or something, and then felt embarassed or did you think they ordered/dined wrongly somehow? If I ordered a very well done uhh filet mignon, I'd immediately expect a waiter to suggest if it can be butterflied. But, for the two cuts above? No worries. If any chef delivers tough or dry food, the quality is shit. Stuff was deep frozen, placed on the grill at a poor temperature or the chef did it out of meanness. And any chef who finds it stupid to have anything but rare has no clue about doing things right (which is harder), or about health reasons to do so.

>>7239982
>ordering water at a restaurant

Are you so poor you can't afford a coke? Next time someone does this I will order them a iced tea.

>>7240168
Because I don't drink sugar water unless there's booze in it.

>>7240158
I guess someone has to be the faggot. Nice work. You sound perfectly suited for that role

>>7240158
That was some very well crafted b8 m8. I'm highly impressed...you almost got me.

>>7240168
>Are you so poor you can't afford a coke?
Amerifat detected

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>little sister insisted on dating scrawny emo boi who wouldn't eat anything other than french fries, chicken tenders or hot dogs.
>She'd drag him to every expensive restaurant and he'd always ordered the same fucking things.
>they break up and years later he's this fat piece of fuck
>I kek'd.

>>7240233
Whose that grill on the right, she an hb10 ready for da bidness; I'd love to make fuck fuck with her

>>7240083
>apparently everyone in my family is deathly afraid of food poison, almost irrationally
I was 18 before I learned that meat wasn't supposed to be grey. I was terrified of anything even remotely pink.

>>7239982
>>7239990
They would most probably even respond with
"So, that's the Hot Shots, the party platter and the caesar salad".
Did you never notice?

>>7240124
maybe they think it means done well

>>7239689
>this Anon seems pretty cool
>likes blue rare steak
110% based. Never change.

>>7240254
I feel you anon

>>7240262
But the point is you don't have to say the stupid shit

>>7239956
>Starters, mains all come together
This is the fault of the server

>>7241289
Not if the server is told by a customer that he wants that. Then it's the customer's fault.

>>7240158
This, what kind of a shitty steakhouse charges $150 per plate but can't make a decent well done steak. You know the meat isn't SUPPOSED to taste worse the more you cook it right? The options are there because different people like different things and some people like their meat more well done. I hope you didn't pick this restaurant.

>>7240168
>Drinking Corn Water

>>7241301
I didn't get the impression that asking for everything at the same time meant asking that it all be served at the same time.

>>7241341
That's the impression I got from the post, but I didn't post it, you'd have to ask him. My grand-uncle does the same thing.

>>7240110
how would you go about stuffing a steak?

younger brother who was like maybe 8 at the time threw up in applebees once. that was pretty annoying

>>7239368
I laughed more than I should have.

>>7239446
Outback is ok I think. It's not fine dining but it's only slightly overpriced decent steak that comes with bomb-ass appateasers (bloomin' onions). Hell, I could probably order those to eat as my entree if the thought didn't fill me with shame.

>>7239566
I haven't been on /ck/ that long but I remember when that was posted for what I assume from the timestamp on that screenshot was the first time. Made me cry laughing when I read it the first time.

>>7241360
Butterfly it, then stuff, fold over and tie with string, high heat on both sides for 2 minutes, finish in hot oven for another 2-3 minutes, depending on stuffing. Drink a corresponding beer with it. Guinness for a hearty filling, Pils with a veggie filling, plain water with lemon for a herb filling.

My mom can be super embarrassing sometimes. I remember we went to a steak place (probably Outback) as a family and when the server asked my mom how she would like to have it done my mom said "as rare as you can". The server then goes into the spiel that I think is either required by state law or company policy about how foodborne illness etc etc under medium doneness and my mom cuts her off and starts regaling her with how she lived in France (her junior year abroad) and how she would eat steak bleu all the time and that's what she actually prefers but she knows they wont do it and the rest of the family was slowly sinking under the table in embarassment as the server nodded her head along pretending to give a damn about what she was saying.

However, my mom is pretty reliably good when it comes to food, either finding good places to eat (Outback was my dad's suggestion) and cooking herself, so I let her social awkwardness slide.

>>7239689
What type of pansy faggot feels bad for telling his dad what-for? Some of yall are so limp wristed that I'm not sure how you tie your shoes.

>>7240083
This. Why do people not understand that you can't get food poisoning or get sick from any raw meat except chicken and bird meat? Seriously....

>>7241701
alice springs chicken is my guilty pleasure. cheese, mushrooms, bacon and honey mustard mmmm.

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>>7239405
>for some reason

>>7240158
>>7241330
so much this

i love raw meat as much as the next person.. but if i'm out of town camping or something and can only find a walmart or some garbage like that i'm going to cook the piss out of those steaks and it's going to taste fucking good

>mechanical tenderizers ruin meat

>>7240168
Some of us don't want diabetes

>>7241384
i barfed all over the table when i was 6 or 7

on mother's day

at a restaurant my aunt worked at

felt good though

My family loves to go those Japanese steakhouse where they cook in front of you. Every fucking time, when the cook starts cooking the veggies, my sister ask the cook if she can only get onions. She's 25 and overweight; eating more veggies wouldn't be a bad idea.

Another thing, every time we get our salads, almost everyone in my family ask for extra dressing; even if the salads have enough dressing.

>>7239325
Is it bad that I actually like steak dipped in a bit of ketchup?

>>7242177
Yes, yes it is.

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>>7242177

>>7239368
This is an incorrect use of the word "waters"

>>7242381
Maybe he ordered some oceans, faggot, you don't know

>>7242387
I do know

>>7240110
Let me see if I have this correct...

Recipe: Retard Steak
Ingredients:
- 3 steaks
- Ketchup
- Mustard
- Mayonaisse

Directions:
- Slice a pocket into one of the steaks (e.g. turn it into a pita bread) and fill with ketchup, mustard and mayonaisse
- Sear this steak until blue rare
- Place steak into a food processor, turning it into a paste
- Cut a pocket into the second steak and fill with the meat/ketchup/mustard/mayonaisse paste from the food processor
- Cut a pocket into a third steak and fill with the hit mess from tje previous step.
- Sear the third steak until medium rare


Is that correct? Can we submit this to allrecipes.com?

>>7242200
>>7242377
What's so wrong with it? You probably haven't even tried it.

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>>7242391

I sort of did someothing like this two weeks ago.

Ingredients:
Miracle Whip (not mayo, and off brand)
Cheesy Melt (off brand velveeta)
A1
Catsup (not pictured)
Filet Mignon Steak

Pic related :)
Anyone wanna see the rest of the pic recipe

>>7240168
t. Fat Shit

>>7240168
club soda masterrace

>>7242459
Step 2:

Put the Filet Mignon in a Microwave Safe bowl and slather in Miracle Whip, Velveeta and A1

MUST BE MICROWAVE SAFE, this is important for later

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>>7242469
PIc

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>>7242474
Goodness, I forgot to add the Catsup

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>>7242476
Next we microwave in high for 12 min to get that well done temperature

>>7242478
And plated:

Microwaved Well Done Filet Mignon in Velveeta/Miracle Whip/A1/Ketchup Sauce

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>>7242480

my grandma (bless her heart) cooked me a filet minion for my birthday

.. in the oven for an hour

>>7242500

would be fine if the oven was at 70c and she was reverse searing it.

i'm guessing she didn't do that.

>>7242483
Why?

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>>7242483

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

>just kidding, no one gives a shit

>you fucking retard

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>>7242483
Please go on, been lurking this thread for a while to see the outcome.

>>7242483
>>7242571

samefag

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>>7242578
what now nigger

>>7242581

lel i trol you

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>>7242520
i'd say probaby around 200

and it was closer to an hour and a half

>>7242581
Nice photoshop

>>7242578
im the other not samefag faggot; dont talk shit abuot my fine filet eigher

>>7242177

yes

>>7242483

this supposed to be funny? its like all the lame board memes turned into one disgusting pile of lameness

ugh

good job wasting decent meat you faggot, no one even smirked

>>7239620
I was on the gulf one time at a seafood restaurant and ordered fried catfish (pleb I know) and my grandad gave me shit for ordering fresh water fish on the gulf.

Never felt like more of a casual in my life. It was p good though.

>>7242177
If your steak is
>unseasoned
>way overcooked
>tough as shit
Then send it back.

>>7239446
>I didn't ask how you are
No you didn't, but I'm saying "I'mm fine" and implying "without eating your nasty ass steak father" so shut up and continue eating you microwaved shoe sole

>>7239368
Does autism run in your family?

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>>7241334
>corn water

>>7240168
>paying $3.50 for something you can buy at home

This is why I skip out on zerts wherever I go; absolute crime to pay $12 for a piece of cake they didn't even make. I can pay double that to buy the entire goddamn thing from the bakery 4 blocks away.

>>7242483
See that? Uh, it's hot.
Just let me put this plate down. Listen guys:
IF you do this, make sure to use oven mitts. You don't want to have your hand burned like I
just did!
I can't wait to cut into it. I wish you could smell this! Beautiful!
See that juicyness coming out? It's dripping. It's perfectly cooked. Now, before I dig into this, I will add 2 heaping spoons of my own Salsa. Don't mind the water. Mmmh! My Mouth's watering. OK. You're ready? Mmmh! Mh Mh Mh! I nailed it! Wow.

(you read this in King Ja/ck/s voice)

>>7241701
it used to be reasonably priced and the interior was comfy af.

THEN they did that weird rebranding shit where they presented themselves as some upscale pseudo-fine dining establishment, gutted all of the traditional outback livery that gave the place its atmosphere, and jacked the prices up 30%

>>7239325
>years and years ago
>grandparents take us all out to a chinese buffet
>grandma is 350+ pounds and always in a wheelchair because fat
>grandpa is half deaf
>the bill comes
>it takes 10 minutes of them yelling loud enough so the workers will magically understand english
I'm still mortified

>>7241711
I'll bet you don't even call your dad "sir".

>>7243233
I guess the prices never mattered to me because I've only eaten there either with my family wherein they pay or in Hong Kong where every western restaurant is so overpriced I can't tell the difference.

>>7239386
Are you poor? Have you ever been to a restaurant?

>>7239689
>be my last birthday
What's wrong anon? Tell me what's upsetting you. Suicide is never the answer, you can talk to us.

>>7239982
I'll take a fat faggot treat with hot cum

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> 5yrs ago
> brother and i live in a different city, same state as our parents
> brother drives home to visit mom and dad one weekend
> they go to chili's one of the nights for dinner and drinks with some family/friends
> dad pays for everyones tab
> brother leaves by himself to his car
> cop knocks on his window in parking lot as he starts his car
> cop says waitress said he dined and dashed
> bro is pissed, goes w/the cop back inside
> waitress says to the cop, "who is that?"
> brother has eternal hate for any chili's location now
> mfw when he told my wife and i the story of what happened to him

>>7239703
kek

>>7242391
I have a feeling he didn't mean to convey there being a third steak. It's probably that meat/sauce combo stuffed into a second steak and then seared with no third steak involved.

>>7243933
Jesus, his family sounds like a nightmare.

my mom likes to pan fry raviolis

she also likes to make arugula salad. just arugula, no other leafy greens with a vinaigrette and dried cranberries

she doesn't know how to cook any fish other than salmon and always cooks salmon the same exact way, cover it in cayenne pepper then bake it until it's bone dry.

she must have close to 30 cook books but literally never uses them

>>7244322
>my mom likes to pan fry raviolis

There's nothing wrong with this.

>>7243933
So this is what hell is like.

>>7240110
damn people still use my OC, this was forever ago

>>7239990
I do this, but half the time they look confused and ask "uh, you mean the super gurgle chocko shake?"

>>7243412
Not to a steakhouse that charged more than $50 for a plate, no. Not unless you count the "too big for a reasonable human to eat in one sitting, but if you manage it you get it free" deal.

>>7244340
she seasons them with some cheap seasoning salt and let's the edges burn just a little

>>7244392
Eh. I would probably try it, doesn't sound inherently disgusting.

>>7243933
jesus tap dancing christ what a fucking nightmare

>>7244366
>has never been to a fine dining establishment
>cu/ck/

Christmas dinner with my mother in Jew York City was $500 with the wine pairing for each course
>shit was cash

>>7244600
Waste hard earned money on white trash in laws. Yeah, your fucking classy OP.

not sure if this is a horror story... well i guess for the guy involved.

>co-worker always going on and on about how he only eats blue rare steak
>tell him to prove it. there's a ruth's chris in town and if he orders a steak blue-rare, and eats the entire thing, i'll buy his dinner
>time to order
>his turn
>i-ill just have the tendies
>NO YOU WONT! you will order a blue rare steak like you promised otherwise you can foot that $200 bill you racked up in drinks alone and you can walk the fuck home because i sure as shit wont let you in my car

he walked home.

>>7244686
why would he take that stupid lie so far?

also ruth's chris is fucking gold.. with that bluue cheese crust.. dam sun

>>7244620
In law?

I said my mother
No fucking way would I take an in law anywhere that nice
Lrn2reed

>>7244718
He was referring to OP which he thought you were. It's an easy mistake considering you're both faggots.

>>7244686
I think your co-worker browses /ck/.

>>7239325
Huh...Dinner with others. I remember those occasions.

I remember in high school how I acted around my gf's parents. Every word and movement was careful choreographed. It took a lot of energy. I was constantly on edge.

>>7241711
Some of us still love and respect our parents anon. Not saying you don't, just saying that yelling at his dad might have been that anon's way of showing disrespect or lack of appreciation. I for one would really hate to have to yell at my parents.

>>7241215
Yes that's the point the anon you responded is trying to make to you my friend.

>>7242177
Do you man, honestly nobody should ever give you shit for what you personally like to eat.

>Go to pizza place with friends after an ICP concert
>Face paint still smeared all over from faygo and sweat
>It's late on a weekend, only people in there are young people anyway
>Other drunk customers ask if we are ICP
>Friend yells FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MATHAFACKO
>Loudly starts chanting ICP lyrics while standing on the booth
>Staff tell us to be quiet or we have to go

>>7244357
Thank you anon, that was a damn good steak.

>>7243984
Yeah, should've proofread. one steak mixture in another steak, no third.

>>7244898
Love and respect are fine, but if a parent insults and embarrasses you, you're allowed to tell them. You don't have to tell at them. Do you know how healthy relationships work?

>be years ago
>decide stomach is too loud and needs food
>go with friend to TGIF for food and waitress trying to nail
>friend gets the plainest shit no matter where we go
"I'll have the (insert burger special of the season with tons of extra crap on it). And dry, please? Just the mustard."
>didyougofullretard.jpg
"Why even order the damn thing? Just ask for a burger with mustard. If you're going to order it you get everything."
>friend afraid of new things
>finally convince him to get everything with the burger on the side
>watch him attempt trial and error with tastes for two hours
>no luck with waitress

>>7242160
Maybe you should tell her that. She's on the highway to heart disease

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>>7244686
Why do people make such dumb lies?
>>7244970
I had a friend like this. Annoying to go anywhere with him and his baby tastes

Husbands mum and aunt think they are "foodies". I swear they only go to nice places to eat to act superior to the staff, like being a maneger by telling them all their mistakes and giving them suggestions. Will loudly complain about unavoidable things like waiting in line to order but its new years eve and the place is packed. Backfires sometimes though. Like when husbands aunt summoned the waitress to complain about there being no prawns on her prawn pizza. There were tons but she hardly glanced at it. Jumped the gun looking to complain. Mumbled that the prawns werent very big. Waitress catches my glance of "Im so sorry!" and was still super nice to me so thats a plus.

>>7244991
>Why do people make such dumb lies?
They think it impresses people. Just screams of a lack of confidence and self-loathing; absolutely pathetic past middle-school.

>>7244686
I'm responding to your post and therefor giving you attention on the internet. Are you satisfied? If not, call your dad.

>>7244991
im pretty sure hamburger is the one thing you DONT want to eat rare.

>>7243933
That's what you get for being a disappointment to your family.

>>7245072
You can if you order a fresh new cut from a reputable and clean butcher and then grind it yourself. If you want to be extra safe, sear it first before grinding.

>>7245072
it shouldn't be "bleeding" but a little pink is fine

>>7245139
>sear it first

what would this do? the meat inside would still be well within the "danger zone" if it was before and if it wasn't the temperature may have been raised enough for it to be.

>>7244932
who's going chicken hunting?

>>7245168
it's not the inside that you need to worry about, ecoli is a contaminate of the butchering process, thus whole muscle meats only have it on the outside which is why searing then eating nearly raw is fine, but when ground up, any ecoli present gets mixed throughout the product and thus needs to be cooked to a higher temp, unless you kill the ecoli by searing before grinding

>>7240168
how can you drink sugary things with savory plates and pretend it doesnt change the taste and the perception of food?

>>7244600
Peter luger in ny doesnt even cost 150 a steak, i can be wrong since last time i went i was around 70ish a head

Is failing to cook meat well done without ruining it an american meme?

>>7243933
I must know how he cut the cake

>>7245180
For hamburger, all sides are the outside, including the inside.

>>7244600
A fine dining establishment does not refer to itself as a steakhouse.

>>7245309
ya that's why you sear BEFORE grinding

>>7245180
This is why I always wash meat before cooking it

>>7245314
This is what I do but I know most people don't.

>>7245319
never have a burger anything but well done unless you ground it. higher end places grind their own but who goes high end for a burger?

>>7245314
Guess I wasn't reading properly. Oh well. Maybe I'll be less of a failure tomorrow.

>>7245326
don't be so hard on yourself anon, everyone makes mistakes


like your parents when they had you

>>7245329
Shrekt

>>7239405
>For some reason
Really? You couldn't fathom why that is?

>>7241341
>>ALWAYS asks for everything st the same time

>>7242177
>put ketchup on burger
nothing to see here
>put ketchup on steak
literally the holocaust

just do what you want. My mother cooked the shit out of meat and wouldn't let me cover it up with A1 and I resented her for it, but if you're at a restaurant then it's a bad move because it should have been cooked and seasoned properly

>>7239388
It was used as a word to put black males in their place for most of their time in the US. Commonly used through the 1950s, and still used occasionally.

>expensive steak house
>with parents, grandparents, gf
>grandpa gets ribs
>"they cant mess these up"
>grandma gets top sirloin
>food comes
>grandma cuts into baked potato
>hard and shitty
>grandpa pissed off
>waitress comes
>grandpa grabs grandmas steak
>"we guna need another one of these"
>holding it in air waving it around
>everybody embarassed
>grandpa gives no fucks

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>>7245787

>>7245787
old people can teach us so much

>>7243933
I think I'd have killed myself that night.

>>7245139
why would you buy a cut of meat and make it into burgers?

>>7239689
>ordering a steak blue-rare

God, you are such a faggot.

>>7245807
After I killed all of them, yes.

>>7245299
Yes. Well Done is inferior, but if you cannot cook it and make it moist then you are a bad chef. Also, well done isn't as cooked as a lot of people seem to think it is.

>>7239689
if a nice restaurant can't deal with a 18 month old, it isn't worth going to. How is a waiter not skilled enough to keep a toddler happy supposed to keep me happy? You keep the kid filled up with bread, and run across the street to buy a cookie for desert if the restaurant does not have any. If the kid doesn't like a course, you replace it with more bread.

Heck, this is how you keep me happy too. Only replace bread with alcohol.

>>7243933
>i hate being the center of attention
>nobody talks to me during the meal despite the occasion ostenibly being my birthday

>rest of the restaurant all look around and some tables join in, looking at me singing

this fucking anon is both fucking autistic and narcissistic whats wrong with you people

>>7239325
Not exactly eating out, but

>stop by McDonalds for some fries with dad
>I'm driving
>order food, pull up to the window
>fat employee with slightly odd facial aesthetics and I think piercings comes up to tell us the bill
>he starts talking, he has an extremely high voice with a lisp
>he's very clearly and flamboyantly homosexual
>dad caught off guard by his voice, completely bursts out laughing
>I turn to look at him, he looks away trying to hide his laughter
>now I'm trying hard not to laugh because of him, but I'm failing
>I turn back to the employee, he's just staring
>quickly give him the money
>he goes away to get change
>dad still laughing hard
>he comes back, I'm trying to hide a smile
>he starts talking again to tell me my change, dad starts laughing even harder
>I take the money and speed off

What makes it fucking worse is that the very next time we stopped by about a month later, the same fucking employee showed up at the window and the entire process began again, except this time my dad was already laughing before we got to the window because he remembered what happened last time.

>these stories
So glad I'm not an amerifat living in flyover land sponsored by The Olive Garden

>>7246357
le flyoer maymay

>>7239646
shit this is like a scene in a sitcom

>>7239446
>>7239535
>>7242838

you people sound absolutely poisonous.

>>7241720
>Why do people not understand that you can't get food poisoning or get sick from any raw meat except chicken and bird meat? Seriously....
*cough*pork*cough*

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>>7245072
It's ok, Ja/ck/ has 200lbs of gut fat filled with tapeworms that can handle it.

>>7247079
Popo isn't as bad as it used to be tbf. Can't eat that shit raw, but the temp req'd be lower.

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>>7246164

Dads are the fucking best.

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>>7246164

>>7246164
Somewhere on the other side of the internet,a fat rainbow-haired tumblrite is crying about the very same incident

>>7245826
Purely because you can? I mean, I guess it might be fun to try that for once.

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>>7244951
>if a parent insults and embarrasses you, you're allowed to tell them.
Like hell you are. You aren't even allowed to correct them if they invent "facts" to use when berating you. Correcting them on their lies just sparks yet another mini-rant about how you always have to get the last word.

>>7246076
Yeah, it's not like there's any middle ground.

>>7247246
people who don't have any social anxiety don't understand it

ITT: Chain restaurant waiters who apparently forget their one and only job is to fetch and carry shit for paying customers.

>>7247097
germans eat raw pork on a daily basis. it's called mett. and it's good.

My parents like to eat steak with mayonnaise as the 'steak sauce'. They are first generation Asian-American immigrants. I really don't understand how it's possible.

>>7247423

Because it tastes good and they enjoy it?

>>7247449
He said mayonnaise, not white bbq sauce.

>>7247527
I think they saw people eating steak with horseradish sauce and mistook it for mayonnaise

>>7245180
that makes sense
>>7245318
doesn't that a) not work and b) just spread the e coli around because water splashes?

>>7247552
I really don't understand the reasoning behind washing meat to clean it, do you wash it with anti-bacterial soap or something?

See grill truck
Everyone is ordering so I decide to join them
Request chicken sandwich w fries
sit w bros all having a good time
bit into sandwich, taste horrible
Open bun, its not well done FMD
FMD FMD
The truck guy is middle eastern, since when do those fucks eat their meats raw.......

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>>7239434
>>7239465
>My family took me to P.F. Changs for my 13th birthday 6 years ago
>I ordered a seared tuna steak and green tea soba noodles
>my mom reacts and say "NO NO THAT'S UNCOOKED SEND IT BACK"
>the waitress says that it's supposed to look that way and lies through her teeth and says it's fully cooked
>I get to eat in peace

Based waitress. She probably dealt with Jamaicans who act like that all the time.

>>7239982
>>ah yes, I'll have two Hottentot Hot Shots™

kek, nice reference.

>>7243236
Pretty good for four bucks.

>>7245826
So you can have rare burgers?

>>7239325
>>7239325
At outback's steak's house
Daddy wants beef cutlet served "roadhouse style"
Explains to waiter but waiter said they caint do it cause not sanitary
Orders regular style instead
Daddy takes cutlet into toilet when food arrives
Comes back with wet cutlet and toilet paper roll
Says he dipped cutlet in2 toilet and then wraps in toilet paper 2 dry it down with
Says this almost as good as roadhouse style
Manager asks us 2 leave.
I was very embarrassed since several girls from my class that I have sexual crushes on were there also and watched the whole episode
Now I don't know what to do at all
Please help me with advice!?

>>7247558
I think it's an old wives' tale from back when they thought water was intrinsically clean

>>7245318
>This is why I always wash meat before cooking it

This not only doesn't kill germs, it actually spreads the bacteria around your kitchen via splashing. Unless you're rinsing your meat in boiling water, you're not sanitizing shit.

>>7239646
This happens a lot actually. I work in a kitchen where everybody with hair at the collar is in a hairnet and everyone with short hair is wearing a hat anyway. Servers/managers come tell us if anything is wrong with food. If there is a hair , we can quickly tell who it was, and usually, it happens to be about the same length and same color as the customers.

>>7247423
Truly they have assimilated

>>7247794
Murder suicide

>>7246076
For someone who's trying to describe someone else's mental characteristics, you sure haven't even bothered trying to put yourself in his position at all.

>>7247552
>>7247558
>>7247798
Not the Anon you're replying to, but the basic idea is similar to how you might scoop the scum off of the surface of a pot of boiling beans. The water rinses off the gunk on the surface that might have been left over as part of the processing, or that might have been left as an evaporite deposit as the surface slowly dried out a little bit in the package.

My grandfather once threw a tantrum over a medium steak. In his defense it was well done, so I understand his complaint.

Every time I eat out with some friends, we have to go to places that either do huge meals so they can get some kind of 'value' out of it. For example I go to a friends birthday at an argentinian restaurant, everyone who went basically ordered a pizza when they got there. No one orders the meat dishes or argentinian food. Suddenly they see our meat dishes and there jaws drop because they end up with tiny pizzas that they paid $30 for while we paid an extra $5 or $10 for the meat dishes that were about 400g of meat each (cooked weight).

I'm sick of friends who are stinges when eating out, so every time I go out to eat, I just pick places that they have to say no to because it is too expensive or they can't find something of 'value' there.

>>7242129
>>7241330
>>7240158
These. I love my steaks medium well and when I cook them they are mostly tender and really fucking good. I've actually stopped ordering steaks at restaurants because it's tough most of the time. If I order a medium, it ends up being gummy like rare. Fuck that.

>>7243412
Fuck off. "Have you ever been to a restaurant?" $150 for a plate is beyond exorbitant, regardless of whether it's within your means.

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>>7246063
jesus you're serious aren't you?

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>>7246063
>I have never met a child before: the post

>>7245299
Yes. The over-cautious american parent way to make well-done meat is to scorch all moisture from it

>>7239982
>Hottentot Hot Shots™

Would order that shit in a second.

Sounds like some thickass, black as Africa espresso.

Went out with mom and grandmother to help carry things when they went shopping.
After we're done shopping we go to eat,we order our stuff waitress come out trips plate flys and smashes me in the face

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>>7246063
is this nigger seriously trying to explain that the parents, when eating out, are absolved of all responsibility they have to the child and upon entrance, responsibility of the child is transferred to the establishment?

>>7247794
What is roadhouse style?

>>7244932
whats wrong with you, son?

>>7239620
Don't nice steakhouses commonly have a really good salmon or fish of the day dish?

>>7239689
>his birthday dinner
>paying for his own meal
>doesn't get to decide who is invited
Jesus Chris dude.

>>7239325

>$150 a plate
>steakhouse

Calling bullshit on this one. I just ate at one of Batali's places and 3 courses with drinks cost about $60 a person.

>>7250670
>3 courses with drinks cost about $60 a person
You can't even get that at Boston Pizza in my city. I know food is stupidly cheap in Burgerstand, but in Canada, $150/plate sounds about right for high end fine dining.

>>7250670
>3 courses with drinks cost about $60 a person

I hope you enjoyed your Applebees or O'Charleys

I don't even like eating out with my friends anymore. Most of them are unwilling to try new things and always want to go somewhere where they get a shit quality meal but get 'value' from the huge portion size.

>went out to eat with family at a japanese restaurant in town
>my family is the epitome of white
>i like asian food because of my autismo gf
>mother, father, brother and his wife, their child, and me
>i order seared ahi tuna while everyone orders safe sushi
>tuna arrives, family gives me weird looks and comments on how its undercooked
>mother takes a bite of one, recoils and spits it out, only time I've been upset at my mom about anything
>i eat the rest of my tuna because its fucking good senpai
>brothers kid is an infant, starts crying and everyone in the restaurant is staring at us
>my family does not give a fuck in the slightest
>brother begrudgingly takes kid outside after 10 minutes of a non stop shit fit from his baby

it was fucking weird but the tuna was great

>>7239368
>>7239388
>based Don dubs
>>7239413
>>7239421
>>7239452

To be fair the waitstaff of most chains are trained to do that. And they never know if a "plant" from the chain is in their section. Don't like it? Don't eat at a chain restaurant unless you eat at the bar.

>>7250670
Ruth Chris or Flemmings around here can easily be 100+ a person as most "steakhouses" are a la carte. Aged filet is about 60-80 alone for a 10 Oz portion. Side of potatoes, 15-20, veg another 15. Drinks 15-20 each for liquor.

>>7250670
Saying "I ate a celebrity X's place" these days might as well imply a chain restaurant.

>>7250745
Well, yeah. But the reason chains have a shit reputation is that most chains are shit. I'd still rather eat at a Batali joint or a USQ Hospitality spot or Yet Another Jean Georges than Ruth's Chris or Legal Seafood or whatever other passes for a 'nice' chain. Let alone some independent hole in the wall that still buys 3/4 of its stuff from Aramark or Sysco but I'm supposed to love because of the fedora-approved ownership structure.

Not the guy you're replying to btw. And yes I drink Goose Island products, now more than ever. Judging a food or drink by its owner, and not by its taste, is for people without a functioning set of taste buds.

>>7246164
Horror? This is comedy gold!

>>7243636
Kek

>>7242483
what the fuck man

>Every time we go out with my grand parents lately my grandpa will find something to complain about. Only once has he actually had a reason to.
>Orders a steak and its always under cooked and sends it back. Then its over cooked. Then they replace it and comp his meal.
>He then brags about his meal being free and tries to get a free dessert.
>It's gotten so bad that the last time my meal was messed up I just ate it and pretended everything was fine so he wouldn't make a bigger deal.
Embarrasses the whole family

>>7240168
Not everyone wants stupid coke? Or shit iced tea

>>7250792
Trust me, I agree with you. I was just making the point that OP's claim of 150$ a person wasn't as unrealistic as a lot of the people replying seem to believe.

>in the carribeans in a nice restaurant
>3 of the inlaws order grilled tuna steak
>it's raw in the middle as should be expected
>brother in law: "omg they didn't cook it"
>mother and father in law: "me too let's ask them to return it and change plate"

I told them it was ok but they wouldn't hear it. A huge waste of perfectly cooked tuna

>>7246063
I don't have words.

>>7239325
Bought my relative aged ny steak 30 dollars a pound. Bitch complains that I cooked it medium rare perfection . She was expecting leather. I'm never giving her anything but dog scraps again. Stupid lard ball

>>7239465
Rare tacos sounds disgusting.

>>7239529
Wait what? What? What?? Think about that statement again. Try again
>cow in the 60s was more dangerous than cow in the 21st century

>>7241720
Actually you can get food poisoning on anything with the cooks shit smeared on it

>mfw converting my family from well-done to medium-rare

I eat mine cold rare but now my family can't eat anything above medium rare

>>7247162
>not being able to outplay your parents

>>7241711
>Some of yall are so limp wristed that I'm not sure how you tie your shoes.
This reads in my head with the thickest Texan accent.

>>7245791
>the nails of this old chap

>>7242387
hahah thanks for the laugh mate.

>>7251665
Have you even seen terminator m8?

I can't take my dad out without him complaining about chinamen. And no, its not just at chinese restaurants. I actually can't go with him anywhere because he's very loud and he will not shut the fuck up about everyone.

>"look at that fat ass"
>"that child looks like a whore"
>"you think its just the sandniggers but it was the chinamen first"
>"fuck this steak, next time i'll kill the cow myself"

>>7239325
I know about me personally but in my own case (just my opinion) I could eat a well done steak with ketchup if I wanted to. What if it sounds good once in a while? Does the cow think it can talk me down? Her four brains couldn't keep up with my human one.

>>7239689
Jesus. I fucking hate people who bring their babies to places they don't belong. Babies should be banned from restaurants dinner service and airplanes, when they grow to take a human form the little people are more than welcome. Of course rents should get out otherwise they will become crazy with the screaming shit sack, but then you go for lunch, not for dinner.

>>7240124
doesn't happen in euroland, it's not even an option.

>>7242391
FUKIN LOL. Sounds disgusting.

>>7245072
You have heard of steak tartar right..? You just need proper meat idiot. Medium+ is perfect for a burger.

>>7245826
You do realize that all burger meat is grinded from cuts of meat. Just all of us don't want to eat the grinded leftover and anal cavities of a mutant hormone cow like you.

>>7252148
>"that child looks like a whore"
I'd hang out with your dad if you know what I mean

>>7252186
>tartar
I'm not taking advice from someone who is illiterate.
Sorry.

>>7251665
>>7251665
confirmed underage
>grandparents
>1960s

Also, it has nothing to do with the cows, but the lack of refrigeration and proper food handling education in the 1920s-50s.

>>7240245
She looks like a ferret.
Stick to food.

>>7241341
>>7241347
Well is he ordering it all at the same time or asking for it to be served at the same time?

>celebrating new job
>invite friends out to eat
>Suggest family run swedish hussman restaurant
>order us ragmunk
>we recieve our order
>friend makes a face
>scrapes the lingonberries off of his plate
>large red stain forms on table cloth
>friend asks for ketchup
>his meal is now covered in heinz
>he keeps talking about how it just tastes like normal american food
>leave large tip and note, saying that i am sorry i ever brought him

That was the story about the only time i ever brought him to a place even slightly classier than a diner

>>7244600
Michelin 3 star restaurants are only $150-$200 / plate. Michelin 1 star restaurants are $60-$80 /plate.

You're getting ripped off, friend.

>>7246063
>waiters should be babysitters
>waiters should drop everything to go shopping for your toddler

>>7250736
You're joking right?

http://ruthschris.net/menus/dinner-menu-3/

A steak and sides is like 60 bucks a plate.

>>7243412
Not everyone is retarded enough to get scammed for $150 at a steakhouse. Enjoy lower middle class life though fuccboi.

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>>7246063

Consider suicide.

>order medium rare steak
>the cook will not do that
>she will do medium
>ask for it anyway
>no

>>7252614
>medium rare
>the cook will not do that
Why?

>>7252614
>she
There's your problem.

>>7250792
Fucking Sysco man. I used to work (and run the kitchen) at a place just like you mentioned.

>Owners sunk almost 1 mil into what was gonna be a fancy ass steak and sea place located in a poorer, rural area (retarded)
>Owners were elderly substance abusers and the husband regularly got into violent confrontations with patrons.
>Put me in charge of kitchen with 2 other guys. Forced to use Sysco shit for a while
>Glorious "chef" Dan from Shitco comes to do a promotional night. Showcasing their products, and helping drum up business for us.
>Dickhead comes in and totally rekts our entire kitchen. Food on ceiling, behind appliances, and his own tools just thrown about everywhere
>8 o clock rolls around and chef dick says "seeya guys, I'll be back for my stuff next week!"
>Forced to clean his disaster for the next 3 days
>Fuck Sysco ever since

The restaurant closed about 3 years later.

>>7252148
Nobody actually says Chinamen anymore.

>>7252787
>3 years

Surprised it lasted that long

>Go to dinner with sister and her boyfriend
>Her boyfriend is one of those sovereign citizen nut cases, and she's basically down to date anyone that treats her normal
>Get to outback and begin to order food
>They don't serve Queensland Chicken and Shrimp at this place anymore so I order ribs
>Sisters bf gets pissed and wants to know why
>He doesn't just ask he literally starts yelling about wanting to know
>Eventually he loses his cool with the waitress and heads to the kitchen
>Cop that is driving by gets waved down and comes inside
>In this time sisters bf got pissed for whatever reason and headbutted a cook
>Gets tasered and arrested
>Cop asks us if we know this man
>Sister says just some nut job and we leave

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>>7252862

>>7252880
what the fuck
is your sisters (I suppose now ex-)bf some tumblrina that gets triggered by ribs or something?

>>7252880
so, how fat is your sister and how many little half nigglets are in tow behind her?

>>7252868
It actually went 4!!! I bailed after 3. Doge if you even knew the sheer retardacity of that place. It got to the point where we had no ventilation system (so essentially 115F heat and smoke so thick you'd think you were at a Phish concert) and our freezer blew up because retards and so we stored all our frozen stuff like apps at an ice cream place a mile up the road. And honestly, those were mild complaints at that point compared to the other shit that was allowed to go on.

>>7252906
Dude is a fucking retard. No idea what he is doing now, probably getting his ass pounded in prison

>>7252918
She was 5'7 and weighed 115. Most she had weighed since I can remember. Got gangraped on at a birthday party and then had multiple boyfriends that would pimp her out. Thankfully she never had kids.

>>7252862
I know, right? I mean, c'mon! It's [current year], for crying out loud!!!

>>7252944
Sorry about your sister. Is she doing okay now, at least? And yea thank goodness no children, that only messes everything up even worse.

>>7252959
She died back in August. That story happened a couple years ago.

>>7252965
Shit I'm sorry about your loss.

>>7252965
lol

>>7252965
rip in piss little lady, life was unfair for ye

>>7247794
Wat

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>>7239703
>bread served at nippon restaurant
>autist

>>7252965
so uhhh, not to be insensitive but as a paramedic i always get curious about these things, how did she die?

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>>7253046
Just when I thought this thread was going back to food, you had to waltz up in here with your parafuccboi ass and bring it back to the poor kid's dead sister. Shame shall come to you and everyone you love.

>>7252965
Drug OD? Drug OD.

>>7247162
>my dad hates black people
>also very confrontational and immature
>classic "has to have the last word" mentality, will literally shout "fuck you" over and over to get the last word
>look him dead in the eye and tell him he's acting like a nigger
>shuts right the fuck up and gets this sour look on his face

>>7247095
>onion goggles

>>7246422
stupid, dumb flyover scum

>>7240168
Stop trying to force this shitty meme. It wasn't funny when you started the ten threads with this statement, and its not funny now.

>>7240245
> da bidness
>make fuck fuck
Do you talk like a retard in real life, or is that just you trying to be funny on the internet?

>>7246063
If you're trolling, you're doing a damn fine job.

If you're not trolling, consider reflecting on your selfishness and unwillingness to take responsibility for your kids. Then commit sudoku.

Why do so many people like dry, burnt food? Are they really that scared they're going to get sick?

>>7252148
Your dad just says what we're all thinking.

>>7253194
Thanks man. I've had the flu and this post really brightened my day and made me laugh.

>>7253238
Yes. They grew up terrified, thinking that any redness at all means food poisoning. It screwed me up a lot, took a lot of effort and work to be comfortable and confident in cooking meat on the rarer side and not bitching out and letting it cook for a few more minutes.

finally this fag thread reached bump limit and I wont see it anymore

>>7251018
Boogers and cum.

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This story didn't happen to me, but my dad:

>lunch break
>be at hibachi grill with coworkers
>having a good time until these two strangers are seated with them because there's just two of them and you don't fire up a hibachi grill for two people
>one of these ladies is allergic to fish
>whatthefuckareyoudoinghere.exe
>allergy lady gives everyone dirty looks as people around the table starts ordering fish because it's a damn hibachi grill
>all the steaks and fish are brought out on one plate
>allergy lady starts throwing a bitch fit and demands her food be cooked separately
>her friend tries to calm her down while my dad and his coworkers glare at her for her utter stupidity
>allergy lady and sensible friend eventually leave and everyone eats in peace

>>7243412

I'm not sure what you're smoking but my family could be considering upper middle class, possibly upper class in terms of money and I have dined at some of the most expensive restaurants in my city. The most expensive plate of food I've ever had was about $50. $150 for a steak is beyond ridiculous. $150 is believable for a tasting menu in a very fine restaurant, but for 1 plate? That is atrocious and only people who have a very skewed perception of the upper class will brag about spending $150 on a plate of food.

>>7239689
Oh man I remember when my kid was an 18 month old and we tried to take her to hibachi, she freaked the fuck out the second she saw the chef. Me and my lady were so embarrassed, we got everything served immediately into a to-go box and got the fuck out of there.

haven't been back since.

>>7253546
>The most expensive plate of food I've ever had was about $50
> I have dined at some of the most expensive restaurants in my city

Appetizer 15-30 (average of 20)
Decent steak at a nice restaurant: 50-70 (average of 60)
2 Sides (15-30) (average of 20)
Glass of Wine (15-30) (average of 20)

120*1.2(ameriTip) = 145

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>>7242581
Oops.

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>>7254696
Reported for hacking.

My FIL always brings a stack of one's, places it in the middle of the table as we're seated, and removes one everyone the waiter does something wrong or is too slow. It's so fucking embarrassing. Sometimes he has these little smug grins when he does it. The waiter normally ignores it.

>>7254711
0/10

Tabs are uninspired and too obvious. If you're going to make it obvious, at least don't use stale jokes.

>>7254711
>those tabs
Whatever happened to the classics, like 'big hard horse cocks'?

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>>7254727
Dunno, this is just a pic I saved. I have a couple others, but they're pretty much the same.

>>7254711
>>7254732
>no changing the address bar to https://tips.fbi.gov/thank-you-for-your-tip-with-a-rip
>not thank-you-for-your-maximum-overtip
>not a single tipping joke
Fuck all of you.