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What is the rudest or grossest thing a dinner...
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You are currently reading a thread in /ck/ - Food & Cooking

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What is the rudest or grossest thing a dinner guest has ever done?

>pic unrelated
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>>7222164

probably something involving feces
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>>7222164
I caught a guest of mine eating an eclair out of the trash.
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>>7222515
Was it sitting on top or was it underneath other trash?
>>
One of my guests upset my nana by saying he hated anyone who grew up with a pony
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>food and cooking board
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>>7223707
>>7222515
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>>7223707
Sounds like sour grapes to me. Who wouldn't want a pony?
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Once a fire alarm went off, and this guy panicked and shoved everyone out of the way, including an old lady.
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>>7223774
To be fair she's gonna expire first
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>>7222164
One of my guests ate way more then his fair share of shrimp. When I pointed this out he said that he had sex with my wife... my wife is in a coma.
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>>7223774
I saw a guy eat an eclair out of the garbage once
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I was once at a post-funeral party for my mom's boyfriends dad. It was at an American Legion, place was rented for family and friends. Boyfriend's friend is a chef, and he made a ton of food for the gathering. Went out and bought a ton of shit for it. Anyway, people were pretty upset and not so worried about eating. Everyone except for the boyfriends cousin who came with her whole fucking family and ate up. When it was all over, bitch left with like half the food. She was just right over there packing things up in containers talking about how she had meals for the while weak now. Took all the lunch meat and a whole fucking bag of rolls. I just thought that was like the rudest thing.
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>>7223838
white trash
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>>7223838
Some people just are unable to feel shame
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This thread went in a much different turn than I'd expected from just a scrolling glance.
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>>7223799
what a piece of shit. did you shove a spatula up his ass after he said that?

also checked
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This fucking thread is gold, anons. GOLD!

My uncle's friend came over for Thanksgiving one year. The whole meal he talked about about how disgusting it was that humans felt entitled to eat other living things, and continually asked my mom how she hadn't been fired from her waitressing job because she was so fat. Was pretty funny to be honest, family
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>>7223799
you can't slip a seinfeld reference past me, buddy
>>
I invited my parents over for barbecue, and they brought Tex-Mex because they "weren't in the mood for barbecue".

Naturally, one might think I'm a terrible cook, but if that's the case, then don't knowingly let someone spend money on groceries.

It's been 7 years of bliss without them in my life. Good riddance.
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>>7225611
Is that the only one which didn't slip past you?
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>>7222164
>Adult outing touring a nice place
>Time for dinner
>Hosts have already picked out a place to eat and has been waiting for
>One person whos not even that close a friend refuses to eat there, picky
>Host tries to appease but no and doesnt want to split up the group
>End up getting generic pho to cater to that person
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>>7222164
had my best friend over once and he ended up fucking my mom
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>>7225663
That's hot.
I bet she still glistens up thinking about it.
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>>7223799
>One of my guests ate way more then his fair share of shrimp

The ocean called, they're out of shrimp Costanza
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>>7222164

I walked in on a girl in the bathroom once. The dinner party was in a studio apartment so everyone saw me do it and got a look to. I ate quickly and left and was never invited back.
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>>7225663
If true, this HAS to be elaborated on
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>>7225622
There's no reason to be an ass, man
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One time, I was having dinner with my then girlfriend's family. She didn't prep me as to with what their family did during dinner. Common courtesy, etc, etc. I'm a slant-eye so we just dig right in during dinner.

Well, the food is served and I start digging in. And then her mom asks her sister to say grace. Whoops. I felt really bad about that.
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>>7225676
Did you see her snatch?

Was she taking a dump?
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>>7223799
you should have grabbed him by the collar and thrown him out with a kick in the ass
>>
someone post the greentext of that dude at his colleague's dinner party
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I once had some guests turn up late, shove wine and a babka into my hands, and immediately leave.
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>>7222164
One time I had bought a big salad for a friend and my girlfriend took the credit as my friend thanked her instead of me.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqzbCk1LjfA
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>>7225837
Was it good at least?

I hear the chocolate kind is to die for.
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>>7225668
>>7225687

>Made god tier bone-in pork chops
>Roasted potatoes
>Fuckin corn on the cob
>We're eating
>Mom and friend are getting along, like...a lot
>feel like a third wheel almost
>Mom not breaking eye contact with friend, even in silence
>Friend throws pork chop at my face
>I am temporarily blind as the cajun spices kind of splash in my eyes
>He leaps across table with corn cob in hand
>Mom lifts dress up and spreads legs
>Friend fucking her with buttery delicious corn cob
>I finally manage to rinse out eyes with my glass of water
>See what's happening
>'WHAT THE FUCK FRANK, STOP FUCKING MY MOM WITH MY CORN'
>Mom tells me to sit back down and finish my potatoes
>Friend bends mom over, plugs butt with corn and shoves cock in vag
>Reaches around her face and forces her to eat her pork chop
>Cums inside
>Mom pussy farts his cum onto his hand
>He dumps it in his mouth and spits it in her face
>'Mom I'm finished.'

we're still friends.
>>
I remember when I was 3 years old, my mom and my aunt started beating each other up at a gathering at a restaurant.
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my stepfather used to beat me and my younger brother if we couldn't keep up with him at the dinner table. i was about 9 and could usually keep up but my brother was 6 and the asshole was a big burly trucker so he copped it pretty bad.
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>>7226131
If that's true then why isn't your stepfather serving time in prison?
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>>7225939
Did this really happen though? I have doubts on a few details
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>>7226989
Because it didn't happen within the past ten years.
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>>7225616
That's a pretty sad tale you got there. They are completely oblivious / just don't care about how you feel. Good thing you ditched 'em
>>
I've done two different things on two different occasions at the same establishment.

>get waitress full on cunt
I have no idea why
>stick fingers in ass grab napkin call over waitress told her it smelled held it up and she smelled it .
Lol bitch smelled my ass hole.

>same place same cunt
> pull seat back revealing the inner empty space pull down pants and shit inside. Slide it closed

I've never gone back
>>
Some idiot went out lobster fishing and just took lobsters out of lobster traps and ended up getting arrested.
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>>7222164
>Spitting while eating.
>Taking food that's not meant to be eaten with your hands with their hands
Fucking white cunts.

Seriously I don't give a fuck if you chew your food with noise or put elbows on the table, but keep it in your mouth. And keep your filthy unwashed hands out of my fucking food even if you are too fucking retarded to use chopsticks or a fork.
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>>7227242
you have to admit that was a pretty good fishing strategy
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>>7227242
>>
I held a wine tasting party and some oaf drank the wine and got incredibly intoxicated instead of spitting the wine out like you're supposed to.
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>>7227247
Sub human detected.
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>>7222164
I had a bowel of snickers out for guests and one of my guests had the audacity to eat a snickers with a knife and fork. Creepy...
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>>7227242
whats wrong with that?
>>
One time one of my guests walked up to another one of my guests and ate an eggroll right off of their fucking plate.
>>
This female guest of mine hoarded all the toilet paper in her purse and refused to spare a square for anyone at the party.
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I ordered a big bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken thighs for some friends and I to cherish and enjoy, but before we sat down to eat I got all my guests into my computer room and showed them this hilarious youtube video.

Unbeknownst to me or my guests one of the guests slipped away while we were watching the video.

He took the skins off of all the fried chicken ate them and left quietly. We had skinless fried chicken to eat.
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One time we had family round and my friend did a poo
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>>7225790
Common courtesy dictates that you wait for everyone to be ready to eat to dig in instead of just jumping on the shit like a caveman
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One time at a new years eve party I threw HE IS STILL HERE.
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>>7227452
Yeah, that's a behavior disorder of some kind. Far exceeds rude behavior.
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>>7225790
>>7227486

Growing up, if we were eating out, you ate whenever you personally received your food. It wasn't until I was at a business lunch about half a year ago that I noticed everyone waited until everyone at the table had food before plowing in. Maybe not odd, but not super commonplace and not common knowledge.
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>>7227691
It's common knowledge in civilised countries
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>>7227452
Go to bed kyle
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>>7227696
Not really.
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>>7227819
It really is, even in slavic countries
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>>7227496
It's a South Park episode.
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>>7227486
>Common courtesy dictates that you wait for everyone to be ready to eat to dig in instead of just jumping on the shit like a caveman
>caveman

He already said he was a gook....
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>>7225939
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>>7227863
No it's not.
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>>7227819
I can only speak from US perspective, where waiting for others to be served is basic good manners. Exceptions made for young kids at informal meals, or buffet style meals. On a date or at a business meal, you'd definitely wait. Doesn't come up if you're served at the same time.
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>>7227846
*especially
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>>7227916
yes it definitely is.

except they were getting groceries or something, not watching a video.
>>
brought grape juice for himself and told me my irish stew wasn't authentic.
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>grilling ribeyes for like 20 people
>16 year old there
>asks for his to be well done
...
>cook it anyways since I don't have a shitty cut to replace it with
>gets it
>"Do you have any hot sauce?"
>"Yeah it's in the fridge."
>Pause for a few seconds as I realize what he's about to do
>He does it
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My guests didn't want to eat their quinky sauce, so I brought out my daughter so they could see how much she loves it, but she refused to have any!
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I had this dude who I had never met come over for a dinner party once, and he brought along someone who was not invited and looked to be the type of woman who dealt in a shady business.

When he excused himself from the bathroom he brought me back his poop in a bag asking me to dispose of it. Worst dinner guest ever.
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>>7227696
if they were civilized the staff would know to hold the dishes and serve them all at the same time, not bringing them out one at a time for customers to watch them get cold. if you're used to that scenario then your country isn't very civilized
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>>7227971
Borat pls
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>>7222164
Left their baseball cap on while eating dinner.
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>>7227946
Classic
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>>7227973
You maybe used to eating alone but the rest of us have friends
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>>7228115
>confirmed for not living in a civilized country

Tell me, how do you plug your computer in your hut?
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>>7228155
I don't, my computer is in my house. Do they even have fire where you're from?
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>>7227184
This is childish.
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>American friend over for dinner
>refuses a glass of wine
>asks if I have any coca cola or energy drinks instead
>brought his own sauce which he proceeds to drench the lobster in
>it was some shitty sauce in a plastic bottle probably from Walmart

Did not give me a good first impression of Americans.
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Boyfriend comes over and while brushing his teeth drops my toothbrush into the toilet. He doesn't tell me and instead buys me an electric toothbrush and tries to sneak mouthwash into my food, like that would help. We broke up after he broke my toilet.
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A friend of mine came over for dinner and touched his food to his chin before every bite. Put me off my food, won't be inviting him back.
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>>7228814
I have no fucking clue what you're talking about
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>>7228814
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
>>
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My friend and I were the best men at my brothers wedding, and somehow we managed to be first in line at the reception when the food was ready, even ahead of the bride and groom and the huge fucking dining hall full of people. (my brother and his wife didn't care, they were too busy getting shitfaced on wine)

We piled our plates and walked back into the hall with our food, getting all these shitty looks as we passed a hundred starving people waiting in line.
I felt like an asshole, and it was probably the most awkward moment in my entire life.
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>>7228874
No anon, the real assholes were the people giving you dirty looks.
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>>7222164

>putting ketchup / bbq sauce on anything
>putting salt and pepper on food before even tasting it
>mixing all their food together on the place, for example chilli and rice
>eating with mouth open
>using fork as a spear or a shovel
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>>7228925
i prefer using my fork as a trident 2bh
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>>7225790
better than shit dildoing yourself in front of her parents.
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My godmother has a habit of telling everybody what to do.
She informed me once she will come over and we will bake finnish bread rolls. I didn't ask for it but I was ok with it. She made me buy all ingredients and guided me and my wife through the whole process without helping. At least she helped tasting them.

I hate it when people put salt / pepper on food before tasting it. Or hot sauce. I don't mind other condiments.

It's considered rude when people lick their plates, but I think it compliments me as a cook, so i don't mind it. Happened about 3 times.

One time I've invited a collegue over for a chili and he offered to help cooking. I went to the supermarket for the groceries and they where out of fresh chillies, so I had to buy a replacement. I called him and said it would probably be better to postpone our gathering, but he insisted to do it this way.
When he arrived, I asked him to help with the prep work. He didn't put much effort in it, even after I told him how I wanted it. I didn't want to be rude so I just told him the most basic stuff and only once. It tasted funny because of the replaced chillies and some onion greens and peel he didn't cut off. After that he made fun of 'my' chili at work.
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>>7228925
>>using fork as a spear or a shovel
Yeah I hate it when people throw their forks to hunt
but I myself do admit i used my fork to kill my rabies infected dog and bury it.
>>
>>7229293
>>7229342
I'm pretty sure he meant not using a knife to cut your meat into mouthsized pieces, but tearing it apart with your teeth while holding it with your knife.
>>
Any time we go out to a chinese or mexican place, my brother has this habit of talking extremely loud and very slow to the server, to make sure they understand his order.
I usually try to cover my face with the menu, because I can just feel the looks of everyone in the restaurant on our table.
>>
When I was 5 years old I shouted out 'THIS. IS. DISGUSTING' at one of my grandmothers dishes. It was bitter melon but still pretty rude. Also chrysanthemum tea. bleh
>>
Anyone has the caps with homemade lasagna and coworker dinner party autist?
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>>7222164
I had a dinner host who was a coworker and invited the lot of us to dinner, he had made pasta with grated Parmesan cheese on top... only after dinner he revealed to us that it wasn't cheese sprinkled all over the top.


It was foot scraping dust left in his pedegg from filing off his foot calluses... apparently he hated all of us and was planning on quitting the next day, but I'd say he also suffered from his "prank" because I puked all in his bathroom purposefully missing the toilet and not cleaning it up before abruptly leaving.
>>
I'm a recovering germaphobe. My co-worker and I had this fight concerning her hygiene. Eventually we made up and she invited me to dinner at her friend's house. We were eating and the food was delicious but in the middle of the meal he reveals that he had a garbage disposal installed in his shower and he actually prepared all the food while he was showering. I immediately ran to the bathroom and vomited.
>>
>>7227945
Getting groceries and watching videos are completely different things.
So it did happen.
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>>7229655
Go to bed, kid.
>>
We once had a party at home. It was a family dinner but my wife invited her husband over because she didn't want to leave him out. In short, she cooked meatloaf even though i'm vegan, i couldn't believe she had forgotten.

I ate chips and nachos that night...
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>>7227321
couldn't even spare a single ply
what a bitch
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>>7229709
>my wife invited her husband
Wait... what?
>>
>>7222164
When I lived in New York, I went on a first date to a fancy restaurant. My date and I were invited to join a party of several high profile men who recognized me - so we accepted.
A few of them spoke rudely in front of my date so I ended up knocking them out and throwing one across the table.
It was like something you'd see in a movie
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>>7229720
>hurr cu/ck/ meme
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>>7229720
Makes sense to me...?

>>7229709
Did her son say anything?
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>>7228863
seinfeld
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>>7229729
Deeds
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>>7225939
fake and gay
>>
It wasn't me directly but I was in a Thai restaurant, my favorite before they moved and some indian faggit kept hocking up into his napkin. That was pretty damn off putting. Luckily that night I was just getting pickup so was in and out. That fucker like all indians was pretty vile.
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>>7223757
They stink
>>
I usually don't post but.. I wanted to share this.

My mother and myself decided to try out a new sushi bar that had opened in our town. It was a pretty upscale place with a lovely atmosphere and decorations. As far as we could tell all of the staff were Asian and seemed somewhat.. no-nonsense. A very practical and straightforward people, to quote. We had also brought along my uncle. Now, my uncle was hit by a car when he was 8 and as a result his speech is somewhat slow and louder than normal. While we were looking at the menu, my mother and I were debating on whether or not something was Chinese or Japanese (I forget what it was.) This intrigued my uncle, who piped in "Chinese, Japanese, aren't they all the same?"

My mother and I tried in vain to laugh it off and change the subject, but my uncle smelled our fear and sudden discomfort and happens to have a soft spot for chaos.

He went on, "Don't they all have those slanty eyes?!" To our horror he used his thumbs to pull the corners of his eyes and continued, "ME CHINESE ME PLAY JOKE, ME PUT PEEPEE IN YOUR COKE!" My mom tried in vain to silence him, but he went on with, "HEI HEI HEI"

Finally he figured we had suffered enough and stopped, but I'm pretty sure everyone heard because the entire restaurant was glaring at us with the power of hundreds of years of dishonor. Humiliated and likely cursed several generations down, we slunk out of the restaurant and never ordered. Hopefully they thought my uncle was mentally impaired and let it blow over...
>>
>>7229979

nice
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>>7225673
yeah, well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you
>>
I got too drunk at a Hibachi restaurant and vomited onto the surface they cook in front of you with, while it was hot.

I will never forget the smell of cooking vomit, and the look of horror upon the chef and fellow diners faces.
>>
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>mfw this whole fucking thread
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>>7230024
haha, i hope thats true
>>
Cooked four bone standing rib roast for 5 hours low and slow. Finished at high temp and did not go over 132 F. Medium rare perfection. Guests were dissapointed because all of them like meat well done.
>>
After we ate lunch at a restaurant, everybody was chipping in to pay the bill. Everybody except this one chick. We all looked at each other but just let it go since we didn't want to ruin the mood. However, she later said, "I didn't know I had to pay!". Bitch, what did you think everybody else was doing? Funny thing was, she's the type to look down on people because she has more money.
>>
Hmm, there's been a few, from numerous guests. All these happened in my own house while we were hosting either family dinners, co-worker dinners/bbqs, or business dinners/bbqs.
>picked all the mushrooms out of the lasanga and put them on the salad plate
>demand I turn off the ceiling fans on the patio (during the summer) because "they're going to give me a seizure" (no, this person did not have a history of seizures)
>pick all the tomatoes out of their food and refuse to eat the food that the tomatoes touched
>take our crystal wine glasses outside and smash them garden path
>come in the kitchen and hover over me while I cook and tell me how they'd do everything differently
>refuse to eat my dessert because they coudn't know FOR SURE (even though I told them) that it was made with free range eggs
>literally spit food out that they were eating when they found out it had tofu in it
>make fun of my family for eating medium rare to rare steaks, while they dumped teriyaki sauce all over their well done steak
>brought shoddy white bread store bought pimento cheese sandwiches to a bbq (that was NOT a potluck, we made all the food) because they were afraid there wouldn't be any meatless options in spite of the fact that we ALWAYS provide foods for the vegfags
>brought their own beer (coor light) and drank all of our microbrews and left us the coors light
>pissed on the side of our house
>pissed in the back yard
>pissed in the laundry room sink
>clogged all the toilets
>had sex in our bedroom closet
>stood on the picnic table to make announcements/toasts
>yanked the spatula out of my hand and PRESSED DOWN MY BURGERS
>insulted my choice of dinnerware
>insulted my choice of flatware
>insulted my choice of china
>insulted my kitchen set up
>stolen kitchen utensils
>asked the cost of everything
>ate off other people's plates
>stuck their finger in food to see if it was hot / cold


That's all off the top of my head, but I know there's more. Probably just blocked it out.
>>
>>7230208
Quite the blog post. Thanks, Lori.
>>
>>7230262
Who the fuck is Lori, and why can't you tell a blog post from a greentext post?
>>
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>>7225939
>>
>>7227946
someone post this story please
>>
>>7230271
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=%2Fck%2F+copypasta+grape+juice+irish+stew

first result
>>
>>7230714
But I have Java disabled. Just post it, please.
>>
>>7230724
https://www.google.com/search?btnG=1&pws=0&q=%2Fck%2F+copypasta+grape+juice+irish+stew&gws_rd=ssl
>>
>>7230729
I don't want to let Google spy on my activities. Just post it, please.
>>
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>>7230751
Here you go!
>>
I made a perfect black coffee for a guest and the cunt put cream and sugar in it.
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>>7230787
Thanks!
>>
>>7230208
>yanked the spatula and pressed down on burgers
Kill
>>
>Make stew for lady firned
>She goes to put salt on, stating how much she loves salt
>Mention I've already added salt, know she loves salt
>"Yeah, I haven't had much salt today though"
>Precedes to liberally apply salt
>All this after demanding I throw a hand full of rice in, completely destroying the consistency I wanted
Not sure why, this really annoyed me though. People can do most whatever they want to enjoy food I make for them, they should really at least take the first bite how I intended though.

Other than that
>Can't have veges and meat on the same surface
I simmer with rage just thinking about it
>>
>>7222164
Stuck gum to side of plate before eating.
>>
>>7230865
Some people just seem to find the habitual act of adding salt therapeutic. I've seen people empty disposable packets of salt into ramen. It's ridiculous. The flavor sachets already contain too much salt.
>>
>>7222545
It was a clinton/obama so guess where that was?
Here's a hint, it wasn't on your upper west side friends shit story.
>>
>>7223799
LIES!
>>
>>7225611
whinefeld is nothing more than an upper west side male yenta, aka pathetic and boring. It's like that stupid show "friends" who gives a shit about some upper west side yentas?

I sure as hell don't and I'm from Manhattan and the people from the upper west side are pathetic and not worth caring about.
>>
>>7225844
Wow, you did a favor for a friend, do you want a blogger statue now?
>>
>>7230924
The difference is that every episode of Seinfeld employed jokes and amusing situations, while Friends relied on people falling in love with the main characters and smiling at the sight of their familiar quirks.
>>
>>7230928
Amusing to you, I can't get through even 5 minutes of one "episode" without turning it off. To each their own, that and friends was some lame ass upper west side manhattan bullshit. Full of faggots and their drama.
>>
>>7230928
I bet you like woody allen upper west side movies, complete with hanoi jane?
Upper east side isn't perfect we got our wierdos and shit, but it's at least quiet.
>>
>>7230924
What part brah?

East village reporting in.
>>
>>7230938
What part?
The whole shithole that is the upper west side.
>>
>>7229394
Yeah you're right, by fork he meant knife.
>>
>>7230931
Friends is set in the East Village you fucking idiot. Go back to Hoboken.
>>
>>7230938
I'm upper east side when I bother being in Manhattan. It's a lot nicer in upstate NY. Once you get about 50 miles out there's a definite difference in the air quality, I don't have to smell niggers.
>>
>>7230937
>>7230941
>>7230931
>>7230924
Why do you keep saying Upper West Side so many times?
>>
>>7230949
Does it matter, it's a shit show about faggots that can't afford their own places and it sure looks like the upper west side.

How do you know so much about that you homo?
>>
>>7230952
Because it's disgusting and relevent to the discussion. Why do you care so much? Your caring is not relevent to anything.
>>
>>7230954
About where the show is set? Because they talk about it constantly, and I'm not an underage contrarian faggot and was alive when both of those shows were on TV and were wildly popular.
>>
>>7230956
Who the fuck is "they?" And popular with who exactly? This is 4chan, we're not popular with anyone.
>>
>>7230956
Only morons would be on the upper west side or wherever that place is set, and even worse some morons actually move to live in that location because they're fucking morons. There's no real reason, they're just morons.
>>
>>7230957
The characters on Friends. And popular with viewers of television. Are you stupid?
>>
>>7230960
No are you stupid for thinking that tv is reality somehow. You need a reality check.
Assholes like that don't exist in New York City.
>>
>>7230960
I've lived in NYC for a very long time, and that shit doesn't really exist, or when it does their just people that want to get the fuck away from each other and get their own places.

That's shows that you're daft and actually believe tv bullshit.
>>
Friends and wienfeld is like a faggot song.

Never Tear Us Apart ~ Wembley 1991
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr-I5xX_BFkINXS
>>
>>7230964
>>7230967
When did I say I thought it was reality? Anon was bitching about it being all Upper West Side when that's not the setting of the show.

>Assholes like that don't exist in New York City
What the fuck are you even talking about?

>that shit doesn't really exist
What shit doesn't exist?
>>
This thread is the most bizarre thread I've seen on /ck/ for a bit. What is even going on? It's meandering past different topics but maintaining its horrific toxicity. Who's trolling who? What was the point? What is the point?
>>
>>7230975
Here's to feelin good all the time.
>>
>Boyfriend pops me the question and I say yes
>Invite my family over to dinner to tell them the good news
>Make some delicious as fuck gumbo and crawfish etouffee
>Spend hours making sure everything is perfect
>Family arrives
>Sister is pissed for some reason
>We go to sit down at the table and she starts yelling at our parents
>Try to calm her down
>She choses that moment to "come out" to our parents
>Dad starts yelling at her
>She picks up a plate and chucks it causing it to hit our mom because she cant aim for shit
>Fiancee tries to restrain her
>She slams him into the table causing the leg to break and him to tumble to the side
>Dumps our wonderful food on the floor and breaks most of our good plates and glasses
>Runs out of the house screaming threats
Pretty much nothing has topped this and I doubt it ever will.
>>
>>7230983
On the bright side, you finally found a father figure for your son.
>>
>>7227278
>Not eating your candy bars the right way.

Fucking plebs.
>>
>>7230987
Nice one brah
>>
>>7230975
I gave your mum my personal toxicity and that was right on topic. Are you stupid?
>>
>>7231022
Pollution.
Sometimes up,
And sometimes down,
But always
Around.
Pollution.
Are you coming to my town?
We are on different buses, pollution,
but both using petrol...
Bombs!
>>
>>7222164
One time a fully loaded crack all over the shitten table
>>
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>>7231026
>>
My wife's son didn't eat the salad I made.
>>
>>7228765
The only thing Americans drench lobster in is melted butter.
>>
>>7231188
>what is popcorn...


oh wait
>>
>>7229720
It's probably a mormon or something.
>>
>>7230066
I once paid for an entire group of guy friends to eat breakfast with me before going to work, all I asked was that they pay their own tip and this one asshole refused to tip because he didn't believe in it.
>>
>>7230959
Even the Jeffersons wanted to and did move to the east side in a deluxe apartment in the sky, because they were moving on up.
>>
>>7231194
Nobody drenches lobster in popcorn.
>>
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>upper west side
>13 times
>>
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I didn't know Cesar Ramirez hung out on 4chan
>>
>>7228925
>>mixing all their food together on the place, for example chilli and rice
But that's how you're supposed to eat it. Or do you want to eat pure chili and dry rice side by side?
>>
>>7229334
>It's considered rude when people lick their plates, but I think it compliments me as a cook, so i don't mind it.
This. What's even worse is when people lick their knives really obnoxiously from both sides and then stick them back in the butter later on.
>>
>>7230208
>>pissed on the side of our house
>>pissed in the back yard
>>pissed in the laundry room sink
>>clogged all the toilets
>>had sex in our bedroom closet
>>stood on the picnic table to make announcements/toasts
Sounds like quite a party
>>
My boyfriend tried to propose to me in a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant, and he had the waitress in on it, who stuck the engagement ring in cookie.

I wasn't really hungry for the cookie and rejected it while my bf urged me to take it for some weird reason, and when I said no I'm full the waitress shouted

>Eat fucking cookie!
>>
>>7229487
bump
>>
>>7225856
Is that Cal Chuchesta
>>
>>7231298
>licking butter from a knife
>licking raw butter

What sort of 300lb ham planets do you hang around with?
>>
>>7230271
>>7230714
>>7230724
>>7230729
>>7230751
>>7230787
>>7230804
is this samefag?
theres no such copypasta
>>
>>7227286
It's like walking up to a fisherman and just taking the fish they caught.
>>
>>7227321
Peggy Blumquist?
>>
>>7231372
Lol
>>
>>7228838
nice reference to a tv show I've seen
>>
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>cousins are over for the day
>one of them says that they're thirsty
>goes to the fridge, takes out the milk and starts drinking it from the container
>>
>>7231421
>wasting food because you're afraid someone will think you're fat even when you're normal weight
peer pressure is weird
>>
>>7231452
>being such a disgusting blob you feel compelled to lick raw butter from a knife
>>
>>7231470
sounds like you're
butturt
>>
>>7231436
>>7228838
Everybody loves Raymond
>>
>>7231489
I don't. Fuck Raymond.
>>
>>7231489
I never got why everybody loves Raymond when Brad is literally a big guy.
>>
>>7231499
Don't talk about my uncle that way.
>>
>>7231499
Robert please go
>>
>>7231503
>unironically being team raymond
Marie gtfo
>>
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>>7230900
ok?
>>
>>7227959

ask his parents to put him down. kid's gone too far.
>>
>>7228814

>sneak mouthwash into my food

how the fuck would you go about doing that
>>
>>7228874

theres nothing wrong with that
>>
>>7228874
>I felt like an asshole
why? don't let people make you feel bad if you haven't done anything wrong. the people doing that are probably the kind of people who complain about having low blood sugar and act like it's a big emergency when they're just hungry.
>>
>>7231246
But they were moving on up from Harlem, that show is from what the 1970's? Moving on up from that shithole in the 70s isn't saying much... and they did move to a nice building.
>>
>>7231257
I'm a real man, I drench my popcorn in lobster!
>>
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>>7230955
dude chill holy shit
>>
>>7227971
Borat?
>>
Went to my girlfriend's parent's house for dinner because they wanted to meet me. GF informs me not to eat all the food on the plate because her mother thinks it's rude, I tell her I'm a big guy and I have to eat big to stay big, she jacks me off and spits my cum into my eye and I say okay. When I walk in I notice her father is a bit on the skinny side, didn't think twice about it though. Her mother serves us our plates and she puts a single leaf on everyone's plate. I just stare at it thinking it's a joke of some kind. I look to my GF and realize she isn't smiling or moving, neither is her father nor her mother. We sat like that for 3 hours and then her mother just says, "What a lovely dinner." as she takes the plates back. As me and GF leave I look back and see her father shed a single tear, they pretend to eat a leaf every night for dinner.
>>
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>>7231512
yo yo yo
>>
>>7230208
This made me mad
>>
>>7231604
don't forget so called peanut allergies. A whole airplane full of normal people has to deal with one mutant who can't have a peanut within 2 miles of it. Fucking annoying fucking mutant retards.
>>
>Whhaaa whaaa! I'm a special snowflake, the whole airplane has to have peanuts banned because I'm so special.

How about this asshole, just die, I don't care. Don't have children either because then you'll pass your mutant bullshit on to others that'll annoy me.
>>
>>7231654

what the fuck?
>>
>>7231679
Are you asserting that I'm wrong?
A whole airplane full of people have to deal with one little asshole with a peanut allergy isn't going to annoy the fuck out of me?

How about asshat muslims who live to be offended, serve any pork and they'll go jihad on your ass, but I have to deal with their special snowflake bullshit?

You must be a multicultural faggit.
>>
>>7231679
Don't forget cartoons. Only "halal approved" cartoons will be shown on this flight.
>>
>>7229729
That's cool and reminds me...
Lookup Ben Sheedy, it'll be his first professional boxing match.
>>
>>7230066
I went to HS with a cunt like that, he was a fuckin' moocher. We'd all chip in for weed and he'd always decline but he never declined a smoke. The cheap fucking cunt.
>>
>>7225790
>slant eye
I thought you people had a bunch of table protocole.
>>
>>7231687
>>7231689

kill yourself you autistic piece of shit
>>
>>7231697

>I'm in a tight place right now, I'll pay you back some other time

fuck those guys, they never do. i've been there too, but shit don't make promises you know you won't keep
>>
>>7231706
I'm the autisic one? I don't go jihad and blow people up because of cartoons.

Get your priorities straight moohamad.
>>
>>7231231
That guy sounds like the only sensible person out of your entire group.
>>
>>7222164
My sister brought her black boyfriend over to Sunday dinner once... didn't even bring his own forks and shit.
>>
I once saw a guy enjoying food. What a gluttonous pig, made me angry.
>>
>>7229531
Does the scraping grate nicely?
>>
>>7222164
She would grab my genitals while I was grilling and say there's one more hot dog ready for the grill
Fucking grandma
>>
>>7229709
You should keep veggie patties in your shed for these occasions
>>
>>7231736
She sounds like a proper kinky girl!
>>
>>7229979
Your uncle is a cool guy
>>
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>mfw reading this thread
>>
>>7230803
I bet he also believed in God eh?
>>
>>7231757
You and your frog cohorts are going straight to hell!
Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros - Straight To Hell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egnuKspNBAU
>>
>>7229428
i did the same thing except i said "this tastes like garbage" i still feel bad
>>
>>7231697
Why should he pay for whats illegal?
>>
>>7231637
>A fucking leaf
>>
>Christmas supper at grandparents'
>Buffet style
>Spot a beautiful big slice of turkey with lots of skin on it
>I'm about 5th in line
>Middle age lady i'm distantly related is a few people infront of me an takes it
>Oh well, it's fair, she is in front of me
>After putting it on her plate she makes a disgusted face and peels of the skin and throws it in the trash behind her

I was only about 15 at the time and I almost lost my shit. I mean if you don't like skin or don't think it's healthy or whatever, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING PIECE YOU INCONSIDERATE SHIT BIRD?

A few years later she got drunk and lost all her cash gambling and tried walking home in the winter and was found dead in a ditch. But I still mad
>>
>>7232595

What does legality have to do with whether or not he should pay for what he consumes?
>>
One time this guy brought a two liter of Pepsi. I mean, who the fuck doesn't bring wine? Who thinks Pepsi is actually better than wine?
>>
>>7232651
I always bring toilet paper to parties because I end up shitting alot and using a lot of toilet paper so tp is the item I bring to dinners.
>>
>>7223862
you say that now but when you're drunk 4 hours later and someone pulls a cheeseburger out of their purse you'll love them forever
>>
At my high school we were polarised into those who liked Seinfeld and those who liked Friends. I was with the Seinfeld group. I thought it was a funnier show with better writing. Still do, really, but that opinion cost me a chance with my high school crush.

I was in my second year of university when I was invited to my first dinner party. It was slightly daunting, but it turned out to be a laid back sort of affair. It was really more of a cocktail party, but the invitation described it as a dinner party.

It also turned out that my high school crush had been invited. I hadn't seen her for two years, but we hit it off pretty well considering that I hadn't really known her even when we were students together.

Somehow I managed to develop a backbone that night, and ended up telling her how infatuated I had been with her, that I would probably always carry affection for her memory.

"Just like Ross and Rachel," she responded warmly.

"God, Friends is so shit," I said.

In retrospect that was rude, but I hadn't really meant anything by it. It was nothing but an instinctive response honed by years of dispute in high school. Nonetheless, as I watched the fond glow fade from her eyes I realised I had completely lost her in that one statement. She ended up having a one night stand with somebody else at the party, so she had been up for it, too.

Today I'm 29 and less than a year away from becoming a wizard. When reminded of Seinfeld and Friends, I can't help thinking of that one moment when my courage started to blossom and immediately wilted in the glare of my stupidity. My life could have gone so much differently if Friends hadn't sent me down the wrong path at those crossroads.

I was right about one thing, though. My longing for that girl continues to simmer, and will probably remain for the rest of my life.
>>
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>>7223883
>>
>>7232664
That's so embarrassing to the host. You are a guest, so can absolutely use the toilet as long as you want. your toilet paper consumption doesn't make me poor.
>>
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>>7222164
ketchup and soy sauce on carbonara and by my own father no less
>>
>>7231703
Only the japanese the others are straight savages.
>>
>>7232881
Weebs out
>>
>>7227959
Maybe I'm an idiot or like good food, but what did he do?
>>
>>7232886
Savage detected.
>>
>>7232847
Thanks for the blog post.

Also, it's never a good idea, when trying to profess your affection for someone (male or female) to let them know you think their opinions are shit.

Also, how the fuck did this get turned into a fucking Seinfeld vs. Friends thread? One was a show about assholes, and the other was a show about pretty assholes. Who the fuck cares? Seinfeld's been off for nearly 20 years and Friends for over a decade. FUCK.
>>
>>7232890
I am actually a spic desu lad
>>
>>7232891
>>7232847
Well, fuck that bitch if she can't even take this bullet. Most people I know who think Friends is a good show stay in their circle of 100%-adjusted friends because they can't deal with people with real problems.

>My Wife and I had two friends invited for a Fondue.
>They were sisters, so it was supposed to be a cozy little dinner with some talking.
>The younger sister brought her husband over, even tho they had an argument and he wasn't even invited.
>Later on she felt sick and vomitted in our bathroom.
>found puke everywhere weeks later
>Turned out they just agreed on a divorce.
>We all knew it was a sham marriage and no one liked that guy anyways.

srsly girl, get your shit together. another one:

>one guy insisted on putting his rose quartz in our pot of drinking water
>muh energy levels are over 9000
>>
>>7232847
Seinfeld is Jeopardy. Friends is Wheel of Fortune
>>
No stories about entitled teens? I've never hosted but have been to a few dinners where they are living stereotypes with their phones
One tried to talk about how food and drinks pair, I really didn't think it through because I was thinking about wine or tea... He was just trying to get permission to drink another soda
>>
>>7222164
I had this elderly lady over for dinner who lives in the neighborhood over and served steaks that were cooked in the oven.

She asked to have a cup of the blood that seeped out of the steaks during the cooking process and was left in the pan. Which I thought was strange but obliged her and sure enough she drank it, and then during dinner

I served wine, and she took her dentures out and just dunked them in the glass of wine and put them back in her mouth.

I looked at her in horror and she explained she didn't like to drink wine or any alcohol because she was a Mormon but loved the taste of it, and throughout dinner she kept dunking her dentures in the wine and then putting them back in her mouth.

Weirdest woman I've ever met. She creeps me out.
>>
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>>7230983
>fiance tries to restrain her
>she slams him into the table
>>
>>7233666
You can assume fiancé is a vegan
>>
>>7232889
Upset an autist
>>
We had a big family get together and my great uncle (grandma's sister's husband), a doctor, orders for the whole table, stating that he would foot the bill.

He gets a small 12' pizza for 15 people to share.
>>
My friend's little brother is the fucking worst.

>"Hey anon can I have some crackers?"
>"Yeah sure."
>He proceeds to eat an entire stack of club crackers after devouring half of a turkey breast

He also pats his stomach like Monster Hunter characters do after eating.

He and his brother are just incredibly picky and rude sometimes. One time I spent a good while installing a new stereo in my car by myself then I wanted to go eat somewhere (was craving taco bell) they refused to eat with me and instead wait until I finished eating and walked to the whataburger across the street.

They also salt and pepper their food before trying it.
>>
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>>7227959
>tfw always have steak well done
>Have never tried it any other way

The concept of eating raw meat upsets my stomach.
>>
>>7231295

this, gotta mix till it even
>>
>>7233801
Was everyone able to eat all twelve feet of that pizza?
>>
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>>7227946
>>7230271
>>7230714
>>7230724
>>7230729
>>7230804
>>7231427

Here's the story. The guy brought apple juice not grape juice.
>>
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>at work colleagues bbq
>"we're having steak burgers"
>puts whole slices of rump on a cold grill
>mutilates them trying to cut them into smaller pieces while cooking
>cooked well done + extra charcoal
>burns sausages as well

some people just can't cook
>>
>>7230900
shitposting generator?
>>
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This thread is spectacular
>>
Have a step nephew that only eats white food

Think to myself , ok so no collared greens and tripe. No problem.

Decide to make fajitas for about 8 people. Gill steak, pork, fish, and chicken. Veggies, make tortillas, sangria, go all out.

Kid only eats tortillas. My sister is upset and pulls me to the side. "I told you he only eats white food".

>i thought you just had a racist stepson.

Turns out the kid really only eats food that is white in color.

He eats
White crustless bread
Milk
White rice
Tofu
Cauliflower
pealed bananas but only he he never sees the peel.
And marshmallows.

He is 13 tyears old and must weigh 80 lbs.
>>
>>7234148
Next time, try him on peeled zucchini and eggplant. Best case scenario, he gets confused by the new flavours and never trusts white food ever again.
>>
>>7234148
They should just let him starve. He has inferior genetics if he's that stupid baka desu senpai.
>>
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Best thread ever. Capped.
>>
I lived at home for a couple months after grad school, before I found a job my elderly parents basically made me their personal house elf and cook.
Except they're baby boomer, processed-food pre-packaged white trash so they hated everything I cooked re: fresh and cost more than a $8 bag of frozen ready-meal or pizza. For awhile I sold blood plasma just so I could have money for nice ingredients.
They never appreciated it:
>demanded something new be made every night while complaining in the same breath about food budget
>would never eat the leftovers and always made me eat them while they bought fast food or had something new almost every day
>would ask them what they wanted for dinner, never gave me straight answer, but then would complain at dinner about how they didn't like what I had made despite me FUCKING ASKING
>constantly had to endure rants about their shitty health while listening to them make demands for unhealthy and processed food and their smoking

Pissed me off to no end. Tedious rude farts.
>>
>>7231372
You were so full you couldn't even eat a damn fortune cookie?
>>
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>>7234148
>i thought you just had a racist stepson.
>>
>>7234148
>but only he he never sees the peel
Terrible parenting. I bet they cooked separate meals for him the day he could chew.
>>
>>7234148
Have they considered taking it to the vet and putting it down?
>>
>>7230927
It was a really big salad.
>>
>>7234148
Wouldn't you say it differently? If he was racist, the word "white" would be emphasized. In the real scenario, the words get equal emphasis. Just say it in your head.
>>
>>7234280
For you.
>>
>>7232645
that post took a turn
>>
what the fuck is going on here
>>
>>7227263
wine tasting, oo la la.
fucking nonce.
>>
>>7226995
Because it didn't happen

ftfy
>>
>>7234021
top fucking kek
>>
>>7231231
Sounds like a real pink person
>>
>>7233972
They (2) wanted to eat a different restaurant
You (1) didn't. So they kindly chilled with you while you ate instead of leaving you alone.

Also, who gives a shit how many crackers he eats? How is that bad manners?

You seem kinda lame, man.
>>
>>7234055
Oh shit. I remember when this happened.

That poster is a grade A asshole.
>>
>>7233972
I see nothing wrong here.
You are a cunt.
>>
>>7230035
Then you're a dumbass for making the effort.
>>
>>7234148
poor parenting.
>>
>>7234002
its not raw you fuck
>>
>>7227691
did your parents not teach you manners? yes it is common knowledge and common courtesy to wait until either everyone has their food or somebody says to go ahead, depending on the situation.
>>
>>7228765
Wine part made enough sense until he asked for energy drinks. Only teenagers drink those
>>
>>7234148
What about your uncle jizz?
>>
>>7234198
Are you supposed to be able to read this?
>>
>>7222164
My cousin's neckbeard fiance always does shit whenever he's around:
>Family over for Fourth of July
>Neckbeard decides he's bored and tired, goes up to our guest room to take a nap without asking
>We tell him that's kind of rude to do
>"Lol sorry I'm Irish, my people don't handle the sun well"
>A different cousin shouts "Goddamnit we're Irish too you moron"

>Christmas Party
>Neckbeard's here again
>Sees that we have beer in our refrigerator, decides to try some
>Ends up opening a beer, taking a sip, not liking it, then dumping the entire thing, several times
>"Lol sorry I only like dark beers I guess"
>Several of them were stouts and porters
>As he heads out, he decides to put his shoe right up on one of our chairs to tie it it

>Aunt decides to take my brother out to the local Benihana's ripoff for his birthday
>Cousin decides to come along, brings her fucking fiance too
>They get two orders of the most expensive things on the menu, several appetizers, a couple bottles of sake
>Don't even offer to pay

We keep telling her to stop bringing him, but she won't. But hey, at least it was funny as hell when my grandmother asked them if they were getting married in Chuck E. Cheese.
>>
One of my friend keeps bringing these dumb bitches he just met to big events, like my birthday dinner, Thanksgiving, ect. I told him several times to stop that but he keeps going on about how they're "the one" but forgets about them like a week later.
>>
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>>7234562
wow what a story mark
>>
>>7234609
he invites them to such events to get them to think they are special, thus he can fuck them.
you are cuck for letting him wing man off your events.
>>
>>7234562
Your cousins fiance needs to sort his shit out.
>>
>>7222164

My brother has MS and pretty sure he's autismo

Every meal he has he spits out like 25% of the food he eats, because the texture or something is "wrong".

I get he can't really help it due to neurological issues but fuck its gross.

yes he does it in public to ;_;
>>
>>7234650
That's some weapons-grade faggotry you got going on, anon.
>>
>>7234749
Why don't you be a good big brother and chew his food for him?
>>
>>7234749
maybe something is wrong.
>>
>>7234002

You means to tell me you've never have had raw tuna in a restaurant before? I forgot what it's called, Sashimi or something, but you just haven't lived until you've eaten it.
>>
>>7234002
this was me up until I was about 14. Except for the stomach getting upset faggotry. Then I stopped giving a shit.
>>
>>7230983
You probably already know this but your sister is an attention whoring cunt and you should probably limit/break contact.


Just like the leg she smashed using your to be as a hammer.
>>
>>7229979
My dad never fails to do a small racist impersonation whenever we go to a Chinese restaurant. He isn't bigoted, just really likes to embarrass me
>>
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/

this is a pretty good story and fits in this thread
>>
>>7223838
>post-funeral party

What?
>>
>>7227691

When your with friends and family and they don't give a shit about manners then its fine to just dig in because they gave the say so. But with strangers its common courtesy to wait until all are served.
>>
>>7231429

No it isn't. If they caught it, they caught it. But in this case the trap caught it, not them.
>>
>>7235065
And who set the trap?
>>
>>7235072

The free market
>>
>>7231438
Once, my guest told me it was rude of me standing in my kitchen and drinking straight out of the container. I told him I had another container of milk for the guests to drink out of and that I was just finnishing this one and I also went out to the kitchen to drink it there especially to not do it in front of the guests. Appearently, it was unpolite of me to try and hide myself while drinking the last bit of milk in my old container.
>>
>>7235060
I belieb it is called a Wake.
>>
>>7235112
lol rekt.
Even though it is your milk, I still think it's pretty disgusting to drink it right from the container.
Unless you waterfall it.
>>
>>7235057
Holy shit that was hilarious
>>
>>7235060
It's a gathering that family and friends go to after the funeral. There is food involved and everyone catches up and you see family you haven't seen in a long time. You share stories of the dead, get drunk and go home.

This particular one was held at an American Legion, which I like a club for vets and families of vets. Since the boyfriends dad was in the war, there was also honour guard at the party.
>>
>>7232646
>>7232646
Becaus there is now law that states that he has to pay for illegal substances. He literarly does not have to pay for what he consumes in that sense and you literarly cannot do shit about it becaus if you do, you are doing a criminal act.

Psychopath criminals like you make me sick.
>>
>>7235125
I was going to pour milk into another container to serve guests and decided that I wanted to give them fresh milk instead of the bottom of this container, being a cheap ass, I didnt want there to be a possibility I forgot about the old container in the fridge so I drank up the last part, as you say, Waterfall.
>>
I once molested my niece at a family dinner, but I never got caught so I'm not sure that counts.
>>
>>7234802
>my brother has MS

Anyway, my younger sister is a borderline picky eater. No mushrooms, no seafood or fish, no pink in any meats, no raw tomatoes; sometimes we have to make her tendies separately just to shut her up

>just try it
>NO, it's GROSS
>I don't feel good, this is making me nauseous
>she's 17
>>
>>7235986
not sure what you meant by waterfall.
I was meaning holding the container above your mouth without it touching your lips and then pouring it in like a waterfall.
>>
>>7236438
yall niggas need to make them eat other foods.
picky ass cunts.
>>
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1434673335259.png
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>>7232856
>not "It's not delivery"
Thread replies: 329
Thread images: 37
Thread DB ID: 363669



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