>Study literature in university. >Know it's a useless degree. >But discussing poetry with educated people makes me feel so elegant and refined. >Wish I could organize a poetry meet in my comm. >Already know that no one would be interested.
>>8808379 I would love it if someone in my comm hosted a poetry meet! Especially if we picked out poems before hand to read and analyze together.
>currently 2 stones overweight. Should be at most 59 kg for my height >crippling anxiety ever since I gained the weight >tfw can't even go to the gym because I'm so anxious >goes anyway, feels like a porker the whole time >don't even want to wear lolita anymore because it feels like I'm ruining the dresses
I told myself that if I lose at least 6 kg, I can treat myself to a main piece. But my anxiety always gets the best of me when I try to be self-motivated
>tfw when I will never have a lolita bff >will never have someone to go to cons with >will never have someone to talk about comm drama with >will never have someone to give me honest coord advice. >will never have someone to exchange cute gifts with. I've been in the same comm for a long time, but not close to anyone..
You're stronger than you know, your anxiety can't stop you.
Keep on striving. Keep on working. You've taken the first step towards improvement, and that's always the hardest one, so if you can do that, you can take another step, and another, and another.
For more help, you should try out the MyFitnessPal phone app. It's a really useful way to track calories. Also, don't forget to lift weights at the gym. Cardio is definitely useful, but lifting will build muscle mass (you have to build a lot of mass before you become visibly muscly, so don't worry about that), and having more muscle mass burns fat faster, while preventing the loss of muscle which occurs when you lose weight.
>>8808559 You aren't alone anon. I've been doing the same thing, and it caused me to gain even more weight. I changed gyms to one that "accepts anyone/no judgement" and it's helped tremendously. I don't feel like I'm the outcast, and I actually feel like one of the more fit there. Just keep going, and think of everyday as an accomplishment.
>>8808611 Most gyms accept anybody, and only total assholes will actually judge you. All of my experiences with people in the gym have been very positive. I've yet to run into anybody who actually is rude, and there have been a lot of people who are actively helpful. You might be surprised, try asking one of those giant dudes lifting 4 plates for advice, and you'll find out that they want you to succeed as much as you do. It's always nice to see a person who is out of shape who is actually making am effort.
If you're going to the gym and doing nothing, expending no effort, people might judge you. If you're doing something really stupid, people might judge you, but you can always ask people how to do something you're not sure about to avoid that.
Even if you're not doing very well, if you're actually putting effort in, people will be proud of you. We all start somewhere.
That being said, it sounds like you're talking about Planet Fitness. I would avoid them like the plague. They're not a gym to actually get any better at, they're an institution designed to take the money off people who want to say they go to a gym, without putting any actual effort into improving themselves.
They have a fucking Pizza Night, for God's sake. You might be able to get fit if you really put an effort in, but if you put too much effort in, there's a good chance you might get in trouble anyways, because of their retarded "don't do anything somebody might find intimidating" rules, which include dropping weights or even just making noise at all when lifting.
>would really like to start vlogging >i.e cute aliexpress/taobao hauls, con videos, skincare/make-up reviews, cute diy projects, etc. >know full well I don't have the charisma to pull it off
also >cute guy at work, not my type but cute >into anime and shit and cons >best work friend, have deep weeb discussions >he recently got dumped >sudden flirty tone to conversations >know full well only shit can come of this He's moving away for grad school soon too which would end the work relationship issue but add the ldr issue, on top of being the rebound. Need to keep an eye on that one.
I realized this weekend that my big con is less than three months away, and I'm leaving for a trip on Saturday, and when I come back I will have two months to make two costumes, one of which has a big prop (something I've never done before). I think I can do it but I don't know where all this time went.
Also I'm super sad about David Bowie. I assumed he'd always just sort of ascend into the clouds and return to his alien race someday.
Somewhat related, somewhat not. I wrote a lot more than I expected, so it's going to be a two-parter.
I have a friend that I have known for many years, she's always been a bit manipulative and hard to deal with at times but not too bad. Still a great friend despite her flaws. But since she started with lolita she has become incredibly elitist, stuck up and her manipulative behaviour has gone through the roof. She can never admit when she's wrong, and always makes herself the victim whenever someone tells her off. She never tells the full truth in anything and tries to have total control over her friends, I get the feeling trying to turn us into some sort of "Mean Girls" clique. She has this weird need to catalog all our dresses and gets upset when she isn't the first person to know what and when we bought something.
What bothers me even more is that she is trying to achieve some sort e-fame, not as much by herself but by clinging onto friends that are really good at creating OTT coords, taking pictures of herself with them and posting them on social media without tagging them (and ignoring everyone else at these meets). She takes credit for our (her friends) good coords despite having nothing to do with them, she doesn't even give us any compliments to our faces if she likes it she basically just looks at us and says "huh" and then boasts about them when we aren't listening. And that is not only thing she takes credit of or boasts about that she actually doesn't have anything to do with.
>>8808887 Currently I don't know what to do, she's terrible at taking criticism and I've told her off numerous times because no one else bothers any more since she just pulls a "woe is me for having this terrible friend, after ALLLLL I've done for her" and acts like a saint. And it's already hard enough to confront her without backup or concrete proof of her behaviour. I'm getting so stressed out from this, especially since I can't really take any distance from her because our community is really small and close-knit, and it is basically the only group of people I feel comfortable with nowadays. I don't want things to be like this, she is someone I used to really trust and is the only one that knows a lot of personal details about me so I don't want to lose her either. I know she's better than this, and I wish she never started with lolita now.
I'm sort of scared of her reading this in case she's on cgl and for some reason enters this topic out of all of the available. But I'm at a loss right now and don't know what to do or think any more.
>finally decide to go to my first convention/show >ask my friends if they want to go with me >no one wants to go >only second time wearing the outfit I plan on wearing >want to try using makeup but can't into makeup
Welp, guess I'll be going by myself. So I can make a fool of myself.
>wanted friend to cosplay with me >shameless begging >turned down >forget about it
>mention it jokingly 1-2 weeks later >cud b us but u playin >they say yes >feel bad >feel like im forcing friend into this >avoiding doing cosplay even tho they keep mentioning it
also >really sick lately >missed two weeks of school >behind on work >school calling for me to come >literally feels like shit/vomiting almost every day >constant calling is adding anxiety into the mix and making it worse
>>8809075 Thank you so much for the support!! To be honest I'm just really scared to start practicing, I've probably applied makeup under 10 times in my life, and now I actually have to do it well in order to not look bad.
>wear the original of a dress that body line !ade a replica/was heavily inspired by. >long time comm member proceeds to tell me nabout how bodyline made a replica of my dress and then the history of bodyline and replicas >had to sit though a lolita lesson I already knew >realize I don't come to meets much or be active on COF or rufflechat but I spend way too much on cgl reading all lolita boards so my comm members think I'm a newb because my coords are boring AF >I'm on here probably 4 hours a day catching up on all posts >no wonder I'm a friendless bitch
>>8808364 hello me. when will it end? >mfw during the spring and summer of last year there was absolutely nothing I wanted for the entire timeframe >mfw that timeframe is coming up again so i'm crossing my fingers
>>8809156 I know. I have the money to spend, but I would rather save and invest instead of spending it. The seller of my dream dress on LM is selling it at a high price and it has been re-released several times since it's their signature print.
The trouble is that two of my dream dresses I bought in the last month won't show up till June. ;_;
>I broke up with my bf I've been with for 5 years >We've been drifting apart for a while now but stuck it out because we've been through some shit >it's really lonely >even lolita makes me sad since he really encouraged me when I was getting started >We ended it on good terms but my heart is broken >I want to say that this is good. That it's a fresh start to really improve myself. My life and fashion >No more relationship drama to deal with >but i'm so lonely. I just lost my best friend and partner >I'm sorry I just needed to say this somewhere
>>8809334 Damn, I know what that is like, a few years ago my exgf broke it off with me after 4.5 years and we were best friends, it was hard on both of us.
It took me a while to get back to normal, but you can do it, other anon is right, this is the best time to spend your time with OTHER people, do not try to spend time with them until you are completely over it otherwise it will just be more difficult.
>tfw aliexpress orders from the week of 11/11 never came in >got robbed in the time since then and had to cancel & replace all debit/credit cards so no hope of a refund >prices won't even drop anywhere close to what i bought them for either, even if I decided to reorder
>>8808716 I was also asked this about a month ago at a con. I just laughed it off. Apparently, the girl asking was pretty well known in the area (I'm from a different part of the country, was visiting family for the holidays and decided to check out the con and lolitas there), but I had no idea who she was, and if she was trying to be rude, I don't see why. I'm sure it was just an offhand remark, anon, and not a slight. Don't worry. Though I do agree it comes across as a little rude and awkward.
>>8808601 >>8808611 Thank you for the support! I cried a little on the treadmill yesterday. I'm just so tired of being fat. I'll download that app you suggested! I know eating healthy is just as important as working out. Never thought I'd live to see the day where I'd actually have to count calories and care about what I eat. But then again I never thought I'd see the day I'd be so large that I get brand altered because I can't fit it. Don't worry, I don't intend to sell the ones I've altered.
>>8810027 Eating healthy is actually more important than working out. Working out for an hour can burn like, 120 to 350 calories in average, depending on what exactly you do. You can eat an excess of 350 calories with a large serving of potato chips, a 40 Oz Soda, or a king size candy bar.
Also, cardio is good, but be sure to also do weight lifting, as I suggested earlier. It also burns calories extremely well.
A few assorted tips : When doing cardio, if you're overweight, a treadmill can be very high impact. If your knees, ankles, or bones feel like they're hurting, you can use an elliptical or bike instead.
You should set resistance on cardio machines, to as high as possible where you can still easily hit at least 70 RPM. Anything below 70 probably won't be as useful to you.
Be sure to drink plenty of WATER. Don't drink sugary drinks. Yes, this includes both Gatorade and juice. Neither of those are actually healthy, even if it tries to trick you by saying "100% fruit juice" It's still sugar and water, even if they squeeze it out of a real fruit. The vitamins in it are chump change, especially if you have multivitamins, and it lacks fiber, which fills you up and has a ton of health benefits.
Vegetables are a great source of fiber and very filling. Root vegetables are the most filling, but also the most calorically dense. Consider potatoes, corn, and the like as a carb, not a vegetable.
No, you don't have to count carbs, or at least not like that. MyFitnessPal should count your micronutrients for you. Ideally, you want a 40% carb, 30% protein, 30% fat diet, but you don't need to worry about that at this stage in time. Just worry about calories.
>>8810042 Figure out your maintenance calories level. This is how many calories you need to eat to maintain your current weigh. MyFitnessPal does it for you, but it's good to be able to understand it yourself.
There are 3,500 calories in one pound of body fat. If you go 500 calories under maintenance every day, you lose 1 pound a week. If you go 1000 under every day, you lose 2 pounds a week.
Make sure to take in at least 1000 calories gross (before exercise is counted). "Starvation Mode" is a total myth that is perpetuated, but you will feel like shit, and stand a good chance of running out of willpower and going off diet in a big way.
Willpower is finite, but can be exercised and strengthened, and can atrophy. Just like you shouldn't limply pedal on a bike for 5 minutes then go home, nor should you try to bench press 300 pounds right away, you shouldn't give up right away, nor should you try to constantly force yourself.
However, people tend towards laziness, so error on the side of determination. If you feel like you can't go any longer, muster up your determination and try to push yourself anyways, for another 5 minutes, another set, drink a big cup of water and eat an apple instead of candy.
If you can keep yourself going even though you want desperately to stop, you are strengthening your willpower, and next time you won't get upset as easily, you'll feel more confident for longer, and you'll be able to go even longer.
That being said, "No pain, no gain" does not refer to during exercise. If you feel pain (not soreness, but pain), you are possibly doing things wrong. Try asking somebody who knows what they're doing (usually the huge guys. Protip: look at their legs. If they have huge arms and scrawny legs, they probably don't know shit. Somebody with strong legs, arms, and core is somebody you can trust to give you good advice)
>>8810051 You don't have to memorize all of this at once, but you might want to copy it down somewhere to read later on.
These aren't all absolutes you must follow, but they are all things I've found very helpful.
Also, one more thing:
It's possible to eat the same foods you eat and lose weight, if you just eat less of the. Try reducing calories, and making a few changes at a time. Eat an apple instead of a candy bar. Order a small fry instead of a large. Small changes that you can consistently stick with after infinitely more useful than a big overhaul of everything you will do for a month then drop completely.
Keep adding small changes each 2-3 week period, and stick with them.
"This period, I'll switch to only diet soda"
"I'm going to stay on only diet soda, which I'm now mostly used to, and now I'm going to replace candy bars with peanut butter and a banana or apples (around same sugar and calories, but way more protein, fiber, and this far more filling).
"A month and a half later, I no longer crave candy and soda all day. Next, I'll make sure to eat vegetables with every lunch and dinner. "
Etc, etc. Small steps lead to big progress. Just make sure you're actually moving forwards, and not back.
I've made a shitload of craft stuff but I have horrible social anxiety and can't bring myself to put it up for sale because then I'd have to go to the post office. (Yes, I am pathetic, thank you for noticing.) I feel like such a tit, I have piles of accessories and things building up in my room and can't bring myself to get desperately-needed money because I'm too yellow to explain to the nosy lady at the post office that I sell things online.
>>8810086 Are you getting some sort of treatment for your anxiety? I don't necessarily mean medication, just any form of therapy; because if you aren't, you should, it sounds like you have it really bad. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that you have no logical reason to be afraid, and it's perfectly fine to say that you sell stuff online if anyone asks. Please take care of yourself, anon, don't let your anxiety control your life. I know it's easier said than done but I believe in you.
>>8808889 I'd say to ditch that bitch, but she sounds like the sort of person who would make a Burn Book and publish it online. Try texting your other friends and arranging meets or days out further away from your usual areas, and don't invite Wannabe Regina. Maybe try to do normalfag stuff with her, like watch a film or go bowling or some shit, see if she can rein in her salt when she's not discussing frills and efame. Honestly, it sounds like she's using lolita as an escape, and crafting this elitist brandwhore bitch persona around it just makes it easier to get away from whatever's bothering her. Most of my family do the same thing- they get obsessed with one thing (usually religion, unfortunately) and ignore the problem that made them seek that escape in the first place. If she's always been manipulative, that's a sign that there's something seriously wrong up there. >>8808951 You and me, anon. At least I can work from home and wear comfy pjs.
>>8809019 I know how you feel re the anxiety, that was me throughout my A-levels, lol. If your friend agreed to cosplay with you and keeps mentioning it they probably actually WANT to cosplay, it could just be that they weren't sure the first time you asked and needed time to think about it. Work on your cosplay, even if you feel terrible it's something to do to distract you. As for school, try to do half an hour of work a day if you can. If you just pick up a piece of homework and read through it, then jot down the answers as you go, it'll feel a lot less stressful than sitting down at a scheduled time to do it. And you can get one hell of a lot done in half an hour, even if you split it into 2 15-minute stretches. Do you have anxiety/depression, by any chance? >>8808977 Go by yourself, have fun, follow good tutorials (and look in the bad makeup thread so you see what you don't want to end up like) and if you're brave enough selfpost in the makeup thread. If you're open to concrit and advice, you'll be fine.
There's a girl in my comm who acts like a spoilt 16 year old and talks down to anyone who disagrees with her. She's sort of trying for this 'bitchy Instagram baddie princess' persona and always punctuates her sloppy comebacks with 'honey', 'sweetie' and 'sassy' smiley faces and pulls lines straight off instagram like 'I don't let anyone with bad eyebrows tell me what to do' or some shit. I try not to get involved, respond to her jabs and let her see that it's bothering me but I swear to god she acts like a cringey 16 year old and it makes me wanna puke.
>>8810042 >>8810051 >>8810058 Not that anon, but this is super helpful. I need to lose weight ASAP and it's so hard, not because I get tired or tempted to stop but because of the lack of noticeable weightloss and the constant snide remarks from my family (who, by the way, are all a lot fatter than I am). This might not make me shed fat any faster but it's good advice and good motivation to keep going.
>>8810051 >If they have huge arms and scrawny legs, they probably don't know shit
I think I love this anon
Also, don't be afraid to ask questions. Personally I take it as a compliment if someone asks my help in the gym. Like, it's validation that I look like I know what I am doing, or look like how they want to.
I feel like my life is on hold at the moment. I just graduated from college more or less (waiting for diploma), but I'm really antsy about getting a job and starting 'life' for real. I have a lot of plans for cosplaying and going to new cons and what not, but I can't execute them if I don't get hired by end of spring. I'm worried that despite my internship and student leadership junk, I'll be left behind because I can't network for shit, which is how 50%+ of people get hired. Right now I just feel like I'm slowly dying day by day, which is still technically true but anyways.
>>8810777 I feel the same way rn. Only I have a master's degree and still trying to decide what to do and where to move to. Yes, it would be great to be around friends that you care and they like you, but I'm worried I won't get a job and be some parasite.
I guess I'll go cry at my precious burando and plushies.
>End of season bowling party for holiday job i had and loved >Gonna miss that job and everyone so much but i'm not close enough to anyone to pursue hanging out outside of work. >The Jean Genie by David Bowie comes on in the bowling alley as I'm leaving the party >Sadness about his death, job situation, and change hit all at once as I walk to the train.
>court tomorrow; might be losing my home I worked 7 years to get >come on cgl to take my mind off things >type a reply on the "To my younger self" thread >start off very light hearted "Watch more anime, k? Sailor Moon instead of InuYasha. Oh and there is no Hot Topic in the bum fuck farm town Paco told you it was in. You got trolled. HARD." >can't finish due to years of resentment, anger, and regret >it's 12am and I'm holding back sloppy snotty tears >cgl isn't supposed to make me feel this way >take shower and lose myself in my own "OC dunt steel" universe with my imaginary friends >realize I still use this as a defense against stress 18 years later >cry even more I need as many positive thoughts and prayers I can get.
>>8810128 Yeah I was diagnosed with anxiety in my 8th year of school (12th now for the second time). I'm in a new school for mentally ill/troubled kids but the pressure my family and they put on me isn't helping anything at all, I've been on three different kinds of meds too, and doing counseling for almost four years. I tell my family this everyday to stop bothering me about it and saying things that imply I have to go (like, "what do you mean you're going to sew friday, anon? you wont be home friday.") but they still keep doing it. My mom went to counseling with once because she's the main problem and they wanted to try and talk to her but the moment he tried to get her to recognize I do a lot for the house too she decided she wasn't going to do any sessions with me again.
And thank you anon. I'm planning to spend some time catching up this and next weekend. I finally talked to my friend about our cosplans, too.
>>8810873 Also >nasty ass "flu + strep throat + ear infection" I got last year comes back >horrible joint pain, can barely swallow without grinding my teeth because my glands are swollen as fuck, ears are so full of fluid I can't hear out my left one, any noise above a whisper gives me migraines, dizzy, tinnitus like a bitch, visual aura so bad I can't drive, and I literally have no energy >go see the doc for antibiotics >"You had this last year? Hold on, BRB" >comes back "It's not the flu combo you thought it was, it's Mono, and from your records, you've had this all your life." >What. The. Fuck.
>>8810882 No amount of therapy or meds will help with your shitty family. When you graduate, MOVE AWAY. Wish I would have done that. I'll guarantee 90% of your problems will magically disappear now that your cunt family isn't around to pester you.
>>8810885 Yeah I have plans to move thankfully! But I feel bad moving before I finish school because I know that going to a school in a bigger city will be too much for me so it's now or never. I'd hate to have to repeat grade twelve for a third time. My grades are all perfect in 90+ too.. It's just my attendance.
>>8810795 Heh I'd rather be financially stable and no friends then a social butterfly and broke af. I've got the bare minimum of irl and online friends to not be depressed socially. What field are you in? I'm finance business pleb
>have all these friends that will discuss stuff like BLM or anything radically feminist, usually just ignore it since I don't want to cause a shitstorm. >Cologne attacks happen >fucking nothing
I hope it's just because Germany isn't America because if not they're the biggest fucking hypocrites I've ever seen. Sorry because I know this isn't /cgl/ but I'm really frustrated seeing these people who will otherwise apparently stand up for everyone's rights, but now something that really is a horrible issue happens and nobody talks about it.
>>8810051 >Average maintenance intake is like 2,100 cal? >1000 under maintenance a day. >Make sure to take in at least 1000 calories.
I recently started actually looking into dieting/exercise because I'm currently my heaviest ever at like 65kg, but now that I'm paying attention to things I find that I honestly struggle to break 1200kcal a day - And that's if I'm eating junk food when I'm not already hungry.
Cutting down to purely fresh foods and only eating when I'm actually hungry I'm hitting like 800-900 a day.
>>8810153 How long have you been trying to lose weight? I remember my first 3 months of counting calories were so hard. I was constantly hungry and surrounded by all you can eat dinning halls. Now I'm used to eating 1,300-1,400 calories a day and I'm losing weight while sitting at my desk job all day. Even when I have a bad day and over load on food it's only around 2,000 calories. It's all about taking your time and slowly developing good habits that will stick. That's the key to successful, long-term weight loss. Good luck!
>Best friend is losing interest in anime and starting to become really judgy and critical of people >develop social anxiety and now feel like every little thing I'm doing is being judged >don't even want to talk to people or look at people who like anime because fear of being judged Fuck guys, how do I make friends? Every little thing I feel like I'm being judged and I've gotten so quiet. I wish I could go back to being happy when socializing to other people and wearing fandom related things but I can barely put a keychain on my backpack. I just pretend now to not know anime at all but every time I see people talking about that stuff in public I wanna join in. My only friend makes me feel really anxious of everything I do. I can barely make online friends because I feel so awkward.
>Order some itabag things while back >it comes but is snatched away in the yearly thing where people steal holiday packages and shit from mailboxes >tfw I realize the mailman just ditched it at my front step and left >package not insured >gets the runaround from everyone I contact but it was worth a shot I guess >2 weeks later >no longer mad just sad the merch was such a tough find
>have to take leave from school >can't attend any lolita events until my anxiety gets good enough to leave the house >no available appointments for psych until February because I have to change doctors because the last one assigned by the VA kept implying I kept attempting suicide for attention. >suicidal thoughts and self harm urges getting worse by the day >causing my boyfriend to worry is only making it worse but I can't hide it and had to let him know >don't trust myself alone right now
I'm just worried because I don't want to get much worse or I'll have to go back to the hospital and I really want to be able to function like a normal human being and go to school and be able to work. Lolita is one of the few things I enjoy and I don't way to lose it.
>>8811250 I don't know how you feel about this but maybe call a hotline when you feel your worst. Please, just be safe and reach out for help when you need it. There are more options than you probably out there for immediate help should you need it. I work at a hotline like that and you can just call in when you feel okay to ask about the resources too.
>>8810042 >>8810051 This is really inspiring! Today is gym day, and I've been eating healthier since the holidays ended. Thank you so so much for all your advice! I'm definitely going to work out my willpower today. Do you have any good weight lifting work out tips for beginners? I've never lifted weights before, unless you can count me lifting my fat ass out of bed kek
>start losing weight for lolita >all is going well until it isn't >weight starts climbing even though I'm working out and eating well >be paranoid it's parasites and get tested >not only parasites but candida, inflammation and heavy metals >no wonder why my digestion got so bad >week and a half of candida diet goes by and I lost 8 pounds >kawaii here I come
>>8810058 That's so great to hear that that works, because that's what I've been doing! So far this month I've cut out most excess sugar. So no soda, no sweets, no trips to the cafe for some sugary coffee. I've already lost 1.3 kilos. I know it's not a lot, but it really inspired me to stay on track.
>>8811250 This was me a few months ago. I just want to say that it's good that you told your boyfriend. If you don't trust yourself, it's always good to have someone in on what's going on. It sucks, but it helped me a lot. Internal medicine doctors can help a bit, too.
Also, as >>8811263 said, hotlines can be really helpful. I called one once and they were awesome.
>want to cosplay Rey from The Force Awakens so bad >never done a Star Wars character after all these years and have been wanting to >tfw she's cute as fuck but I'm a manfaced uggo
Why fucking live. I guess I could wear her mask but I hate masks.
Also, not /cgl/-related but is it too late to complain about Star Wars spoilers? I waited until my birthday (yesterday) to see the movie since I'm getting old and wanted to enjoy myself on a day that would make me otherwise unhappy. But starting two weeks ago a girl on my Facebook has been posting a bunch of memes and comics about the new movie. She literally spoiled the entire movie for me. I'm a little bit bitter but idk if I'm the one being stupid. I guess I should've hid her posts when she started.
>>8811120 Not true. Americans generally do care about tragedies that happens overseas. We pay more attention to stuff that happens in other countries than some angry black people here screaming "omg a bunch of cops shot an armed black man who was pointing a gun at them, those racists!!!1"
It's only the buttmad SJWs who don't care about Europe because they're ignorant as fuck and don't pay attention to the fact that not all Europeans are white (as if it fucking matters anyway). They were sperging all over the place about how unfair and racist it was that white people were supporting France. I unfriended so many people that day.
I tried to dye my hair black with one of those shampoo bubble dyes and it turns out my hair is too thick so now I have massive patches of bright red peeking out of the black. It'll take two weeks for another box to arrive and classes start on Monday. On top of it all it also looks incredibly fake, but I guess I can always wait for it to wash out a bit.
I just wanted to go back to my natural colour because if I put my hair up you can see how black and hairy the back of my head is and I'm lonely and friendless so there's no one to help me. Fml.
>>8811131 First, make sure you're actually eating that amount and not more. It's really easy to "estimate" calories and be way off. It helps to actually weigh and measure out food. Assuming you're a 20-something female, your BMR (Base Metabolic Rate, I. E. Maintenance) is 1,439. This is changed by up to maybe 200-300 in either direction based on how often you exercise.
Some people can get by with less food, the 1,000 calorie thing is just an estimate. If you aren't feeling hungry or lethargic at 800 calorie, go for it. You'll lose ~.5 kilo a week. If you are absolutely sure you are less calories than your maintenance, and aren't noticing any weight change, you might have a glandular problem, so it might be worth checking with a doctor.
However, I think it's more likely you are mistracking your calories.
> be me and Fucked in the head > constantly internet stalk girl who bf cheated* on me with
*To complicated to explain fully
> she's now dating our ex best friend also involved in the old drama > was using roommates laptop facebook since he's still friends with them for optimum crazy stalking > roommate lost his phone so changed password yesterday > can no longer sneak on macbook
Fuck. I need help, but I don't ever want to bring that old shit up with anybody ever.
>>8811277 Sure. You can look up guides on routines online, but here's a few general tips:
Don't lift more than you can actually lift. If you're a beginner, some of the weights for certain exercises will be very uninspiring. You might be doing some exercises on the lowest weight to start out with. Don't be discouraged by this, it just means you have more room to grow.
Vernacular: Rep: repetition, how many times you repeat the motion per set set: a set of repetitions done shortly after one another.
3x5 is 3 sets of 5 reps, meaning you do the exercise 5 times, rest at least 20 seconds, but no more than a minute and a half, then do 5 more, then repeat a third time.
Low reps, high weight builds muscle mass and strength.
High reps, low weight builds muscle endurance and tone.
Low reps is about 5, high reps is about 10-15. Some exercises will have different reps, depending on what you find most comfortable.
Machines are the easiest to use, because they literally tell you how to use them, but they also isolate muscles. Using free weights works the target muscle, as well as support muscles that you use normally in conjuction with it.
Compound exercises (full-body) are more useful than isolated exercises, but more difficult. You should ideally do a bit of both. Good exercises which work a lot of muscles are the squat (core (I. E. Abs), and basically every part of your leg), bench press ( chest, bicep, tricep), deadline (most everything).
However , those ones are risky to newbies, so feel free to leave bench and deadlift until you're more confident. You can squat with no weight (bodyweight is the term for exercises with no extra weight), and it's going to give you good benefit.
Squats build nice booty, which is also a plus.
Finding how much weight is good to use is mostly guess and check. The ideal weight would make you start to feel tired about 3/4 of the way through each set.
>fat since infanthood a la parents >two years ago >broke the threshold of 250 pounds and got down to 170 >clavicles, no double chin, defined quads, etc. >looked really good in lolita (comparatively speaking) >had traumatic stomach episode + grad school >one year depression >too malaise and anxious to go to gym >get a bf >"You look good as you are anon." >felt I started to look bad in lolita >step on scale >suddenly 190 >forever stuck at 190 bordering that damn 200 again >double chin is back, I look swollen >visible pain in my facial expressions even when I smile >attempt to go to gym today >can't even keep up a run for five minutes, tight chest, can barely lift
I feel awful. It's one thing to gain a little weight and admit I dropped the ball. It's another thing to look at how far I progressed knowing that it will take forever to get back what I lost over the course of a year and a half. And my anxiety is kicking in because now I know this will be a lifelong juggling act. I will never not be uncomfortable regarding my weight. I was really hoping I'd never yo-yo again, but here I am at the most extreme I've ever experienced.
It's fine to err on the side of lighter weight so you don't hurt yourself, but you should make sure your muscles feel weak when you're done. If your muscles feel light and swift when you're done, you didn't actually work them enough to build up muscle. Don't be discouraged, just set the weight a bit higher and do another set.
You will be sore afterwards, if you did it right. This is the real "No pain, no gain". You can mitigate it by doing the following :
ALWAYS ALWAYS do 10-15 minutes cardio to warm up, then stretch before lifting. If you don't stretch, you have a good chance of injuring yourself. Lifting weights should make you sore, but it should never physically hurt.
Also stretch when you're done, this relaxes the muscles and will severely mitigate them getting sore the next day.
Cold is good for muscles immediately after working out, hot is good the next day. If you're sore, don't be discouraged, be proud, because it means you did it right.
For me, there is not much soreness the day of working out, a fair bit the next day, and some the day after. Everybody is different, though.
Never work the same muscles the day after going to the gym. Working them while they're recovering can damage them easily. Light, daily chores should be alright, but it might prolong soreness depending on intensity.
Alternate days. How to split it up is up to you, but the most common way is upper body, core, lower body. Core exercises don't typically need a gym to exercise, it's mostly situp variants. However, if you can't get to the gym or exercise 3 times weekly, I do upper body one day, lower body the next. You have much more upper body muscles than lower body, so some people split upper body into two days.
I do upper body one day, lower body the other day, with a rest day between, and core exercises each day before cooldown. Your own routine is mostly up to your comfort level and preferences.
>>8811475 Hey, anon, I'm someone whose weight fluctuated a lot like yours seems to have, and I struggled for a long time with my weight and beat myself up over it, also suffering from depression and anxiety on top of it all. Seeing a therapist helped, but all I can say is being cruel to yourself is a waste of time. If you start thinking mean thoughts about yourself, go for a walk or something. The main thing is you have to stick to a routine about 80% of the time. I understand having bad days. I definitely get it. But those are days when you have to force yourself, and even if it's a shitty work out, hey, you still did it. I believe in you. If I can do it, you can ,too. It is a lifelong thing, but it gets easier once you commit to that.
>>8811475 Slipping once isn't yoyoing. We all get discouraged when we fall back, but don't let the dark part of you convince you you're evil or weak. You will be confident about your weight again, because you were before.
The first day back is always the worst. The next day will be easier, and even if it isn't, the day after that will be. Anxiety is fear to do something that you know you should do. There's a reason it is felt most when people want to improve themselves or take on a responsibility. You know that you will work out. You know that you will improve. Anxiety is fear and determination mixing, at odds with each other. Acknowledge the fear, and knowingly refuse it. You can be afraid, but do it anyways, and the fear will fade. Let your worry that you might get worse not be a hindrance, but a motivation. Take that fear and make it focus, swearing to never again let yourself get to that point.
>just bought a fridge >just paid rent >just get a message from someone offering my dream lolita item >exchange rate for my country is shit right now >400 canadian dollarydoodles for a skirt Welp, good thing I have decent overdraft protection.
>tfw aspergers >tfw got diagnosed 5 years ago, 22 now >tfw still haven't accepted it
Just flunked out of uni too, to add extra emotional distress to the mix.
I just can't accept that for the rest of my life I'll be 'weird' and that my chances of having a normal adult life is slim. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate having a 'developmental" disorder that will forever make me the outcast no matter how hard I try. It's never going to get better. At best it'll the same, anything else will just mean it'll get worse. Somehow seeing my sibling succeed in life only makes me feel worse because I just want to be like them. But instead I'm the one that always has some issue going on, that can't go a year without having some counselor or psychologist say 'we need to talk'.
I just want to be a normal functioning adult. Nothing more.
>>8811668 iktf >had anxiety since I was 12 >now 23, no more 'official' symptoms but still feel the effects >over-analysing everything >obsessively worrying about my grammar and vocabulary to a point where I've become too scared to talk to people >stutter and correct myself 24/7 >super self-conscious and afraid of getting too close to people >can't concentrate, often lose train of thought whilst talking >only friends are classmates I'm not that close to and the only person I can really be myself around is my SO >even feel embarrassed telling my parents I love them and stuff I've never been close to my family/relatives and I've never been that social but I desperately want to be Like all interactions with others are so uptight and formal because I'm scared of affection and scared of being judged I'm so emotionally constipated and I want to be normal and not be embarrassed to call my girl friends darling and sweetie, and talk freely and have fun and be young and not think about what so and so will say or what imaginary disease I may have, or worry when someone doesn't seem to like me very much
I mean I'm okay otherwise and people just think I'm a hardcore introvert but I want to change and I don't know where to start. I've done therapy for years and they all tell me to 'just do it lol' and then ask me if I want pills. I don't.
My bf's birthday is next week and I got a few things together to make him a cute little vidya treasure chest to store things in. Finally got off my ass and started to put it together and I accidently the whole thing, pretty sure it's beyond repair now and my hands are covered in burns from hot glue.
>>8810929 Fuck, this punched me right in the feels. >>8811119 Lol, other way round for me. My mother is incredibly racist (but also totally not, because she used to be friends with brown people!!!!) and one of her favorite pastimes is telling us how the only way to control terrorist attacks is to euthanise 'the blacks and Islams'. The second I mention Ireland's white terrorists, she shuts up. It's incredible how SJWs love shitting on people who make triggering ableist posts like 'I felt so happy today when I got out of bed early' and refuse to open their mouths when the possibility of offending one of their own arises. It's a study in human bullshit capacity like no other.
>>8811154 On and off for a couple of years. My weight shot up a couple of months before Christmas, and there's no way in hell I'm going to count calories in December, but I've been doing enough exercise to keep myself in relatively good shape. I actually don't eat that much usually, I used to eat between 1000-1800 cals before Christmas and I'm trying to get to 1500 a day (consistently) before the end of January. I hate it when my family makes fun of me for my weight, not because I'm not fat (I am, if not by normalfag standards) but because they're bigger and constantly try to limit what I eat. Goddamn, I can make my own decisions about eating a banana instead of an apple, I don't need a sanctimonious lecture on carbs and how eating them will make me keel over from heart disease before I hit thirty. Thanks for the encouragement, I need it. >>8811233 DITCH HER She will get worse with time and you won't be judged less for being quiet. Laugh in her face the next time she's bitchy about something and judge her right back.
>>8811711 unfortunately "just do it" really is the best advice... I know anxiety seems like this huge insurmountable wall but it can be climbed, anon. You may always feel nagging self doubt, analyze yourself too much, get insanely paranoid... but you can overcome it enough to begin living your life the way you want to. Maybe start at a comfortable point with your SO, and then invite like one casual friend to hang out with you two? It might be easier for you to communicate if you have someone youre comfortable with around. It's really hard anon, my best friend used to be just like you. she's still grappling with it daily but if you put your mind to it (and get a better therapist yours sound like they blow) I know you can do it.
>really want to go out of state for a con >not autistically antisocial but I get nervous by myself at cons >all my friends are normies except for one guy >he has a super clingy girlfriend >who's also my friend >she's the biggest normie of the bunch >literally gets panic attacks thinking about her bf watching anime because she's "jealous of the anime girls" >no way in hell he'll be able to hang out >I just want to cosplay with friends
>>8811291 >>8811263 I appreciate it. I have the number for the VA crisis line and a plan in place if things get too bad. I'm really overwhelmed but they finally got back to me and agreed to change my doctor and I'm waiting on a call from my primary care doctor to see if she'll put me on the proper medication (the idiot who I was seeing caused this in part by fucking with my meds because I was on "too many pills")
I guess I got lucky with the resident who triaged me yesterday because she's been making sure I'm okay and getting stuff going for my care. Based residents who haven't had all the life sucked out of them yet.
It sounds like you are probably miscounting your calories then. Try to weigh your food and use measuring cups. Cut out empty calories like juice (even 100% fruit juice is literally just sugar and water; it's just a more "natural" sugar, not that natural is worth a damn in weight loss) and potato chips, etc. Often, exercise machines which give a calorie burned readout overestimate to make you feel better.
It's really easy to do something like say "Oh, I'm thirsty, I'll have some orange juice, juice is healthy", then pour yourself a glass. A cup of orange juice is about 120 calories, and so you record 120, but that glass actually contains 2.5 cups, so you're drinking 300 calories of pure sugar.
It's really easy to make flubs like that with food that doesn't come in discrete amounts. A hamburger might be 210 calories per serving, but a thick patty may well count as two servings. A single bagel is like 3 slices worth of bread, and you don't even want to know how many calories a tortilla is.
Make sure to exercise diligence when counting calories. Eventually, you might be able to estimate it with some accuracy, but you should always start off assuming you don't know how to estimate it.
>>8812026 To add on to this anon, nutrition labels have a ±20% leeway for Calories and some other vitamins. Here's an excerpt from the USDA (I have no idea what other countries do, so if you don't live in the US, you will want to see if your country's food regulators do the same thing.)
>Q9. Is the leeway on values still 20%? A. Yes. The regulations in 9 CFR 317.309(h) and 381.409(h) specify that certain nutrient values are not out of compliance, unless they are more than 20% above the labeled value. That rule applies to the labeled values for calories, sugars, total fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, or sodium. These regulations also specify that certain nutrient values are not out of compliance, unless they are 20% below the labeled value. That rule applies to the labeled values for vitamins, minerals, protein, total carbohydrates, dietary fiber, other carbohydrates, polyunsaturated or monounsaturated fat or potassium.
Measuring your food by weight, reading to see what constitutes a serving, and not believing exercise machine calorie burn reports. I never put my burned workout calories into my calorie counters because it would always give me false hope that I could eat more and still lose.
>>8811911 >She will get worse with time She has been, we've been best friends for years but lately she's been falling in with hardcore instagram people(who only take hikes or eat fancy food just for pictures). She tells me she hates her new friends yet keeps hanging out with them. While every single person I interact with, right when they leave she'll have something negative to say about them.
I really wish I could learn how to give less fucks about what people think but this negative thinking has been so ingrained in me. I'm trying to be positive but she just keeps complaining about how she hates people, our school, life, literally everything and everyone.
also >tfw you meet someone with the same hobbies and have a great conversation >add them on facebook >never talk to them again because too nervous to message them
>Tfw made the same cosplay piece 5 times now because didn't like it, wasn't clean, cat ate it, wasn't even, etc >Tfw when it comes out literally perfect the 5th time and even though I'm pissed I had to remake it, I'm glad it looks perfect now
>Finally stock store with a bunch of new stuff. >Over $200 in two days. >People are sharing the items all over Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter. >I didn't even have my own Twitter account until five minutes ago (when I was told people were sharing it.)
>friendless bitch for the first two years of college >new school year resolution was too make friends and not be an asshole >new friends want to cosplay >they are incredibly indepth and patient about budgeting and learning how to sew and looking up tutorials >we actually all have a ton of fun working on costumes and hanging out >serious stroke of luck that I found these amazing people >2016 is my year >also got a love live blind box the other day and it was my girl
Fuck seagulls, FUUUUUCK. >move south >not used to all the big, house invading bugs bc the winter kills em up north >bf is kind of a slob when it comes to cleaning desu senpai >doesn't clean up his messes in the kitchen >have to instruct him to clean to get him to take action, or I do it >tell him it's not like back at home and the bugs here are pervasive over the slightest filth >made the mistake of asking bf to cook a dinner other night >dirty water pots/pans in the sink, spatters over the stove, food crumbs >...it's only been two nights since I last cleaned >owell >grab kitchen gloves to start another unrelated task >feel a lump inside... >pull out hand quickly >HUGE MATURE ROACH FLIES OUT INTO SINK INTO POTS AND PANS >scream murder >don't see it, it hides >bf comes over >"hurr whar at anon" >he refuses to go near the sink to find it bc he's chicken shit of it too >the roach suddenly emerges >its face when >flies to the floor >bf throws a magazine at it >roach splatters on floor >bf places magazine with roach guts all over counter >counter now soiled as well
I...I just want a kawaii, clean home T_T In lighter news, I just therapy-bought a bunch of kawaii makeup from amazon using a christmas gift card and some cashback bonuses I had saved up. Amazon really is sketch to me though...
>>8811917 this, definitely. I've worked up to groups of 4-5 people that I'm more or less comfortable with, and a huge part of that was having my boyfriend at the time along. my first proper con experience (I'd been to one before but it was like ~300 people at most) was last spring, in a foreign country with the boyfriend and 3 distant online friends, and I handled it quite well! when I got too tired we just took a minute to sit down and I managed for another few hours before my body started giving up on walking. basically, I believe in OP anon!
>>8812289 honestly, this seems like a chore dividing problem. if your bf doesn't into cleaning then he could do some sort of other chores and you can do the cleaning (assuming you don't mind doing it). obviously sometimes one can cover for the other, but some kind of system like this would make things easier for both of you and decrease conflict.
>>8812289 >splurging on junk you don't need from the internet instead of dumping your shitty boyfriend You're not his equal, you're not his partner. You're his mom. You have to nag him into doing basic shit he should have been doing for the past 10+ years. He's basically using you as a nanny that he can have sex with. He needs to either step up to the plate or find someone else to mooch off of, because his immaturity and lack of self-motivation are causing serious health hazards.
>>8812334 >>8812340 It's more of a self-motivation problem with him. He'll do chores without complaining/hesitation if, and only if, I make a list or ask. Imo that's the annoying part about it, would be nice for a guy to have a conscience that says "gee, this looks dirty I'll clean it to impress gf" or something.
>>8812357 I would suggest putting up a whiteboard on the refrigerator with all the chores that are done on a weekly basis. Vaccuuming, cleaning windows, dusting, clearing the sink of dishes all week, etc. Then sit down with him and agree on how you'll divide it up, as well as a day of the week they all need to be done by. You can use a whiteboard pen to mark down which chores you've done and then wipe that part clean at the end of each week. That way, he'll always have a list to refer to. If that doesn't solve your problem, I don't know what will, because desu he sounds like a manchild.
>>8812289 Going to have to agree with the other anons here. I get told off a lot by my mom for not cleaning enough but I have the common sense to wash everything used for cooking and tidying up the area afterwards. May not seem like a big deal now but it'll be one of the cuts from those 'death from a thousand cuts' breakups. Best talk about it with your bf. Then again I'm just an anon
>>8812334 >>8811917 Thank you anons, I appreciate all the great advice. It's really comforting to know I'm not the only one out there.
What I'd like to resolve first is get over this emotional brick wall and be more open and affectionate, because I've so many wonderful, lovely folks in my life and I don't want them to think I don't appreciate or want to spend time with them.
>>8812289 As someone with a similar breed of boyfriend, all is not lost. Mine used to routinely leave his dirty clothes strewn on the floor and 'forget' to put things back after he used them. I just yelled at him a lot and said I'd leave if he doesn't get his shit together. And then got us a tabletop dishwasher. He got his shit together, and now uses the dishwasher every day.
>>8812592 This is the first 'celebrity' death in ages I've actually felt genuinely sad about. I usually try and avoid grieving people that I didn't know and didn't know me but man. He felt like one of those people that was gonna be there forever, and now he's just....gone.
>>8811668 On the shit side: Aspergers is incurable and you'll be stuck with it forever. On the plus side: If you're a girl, and you probably are, it's a lot easier to hide your aspergers from people who would be able to make your life hell, like potential employers and anti-vaccine moms. Knowing basic social cues and being able to respond to them appropriately means people will probably just see you as being a bit weird sometimes and not an euphoric fedora. Seeing other people succeed where you know you can't is the best recipe for emotional meltdowns. My sister is intensely jealous of others and enjoys literally tearing my hair out at Christmas; please don't turn into a shitshow like her. Focus on getting better at something you're already good at, because that will alleviate the stress you feel from not being good enough and will allow you, in time, to improve in other areas. I don't mean you should lock yourself away and only do one thing for ten years before you're ready for human interaction, I mean you should work on a hobby and, when you feel particularly shit, look at what you've accomplished and take strength from that. You'll take a while to come to terms with it, yeah, but it's not going to go away if you hate yourself enough. You want to be a functioning adult? Then do functioning adult things. Clean your room. Do the dishes. Learn to cook. If you can draw or craft, sell stuff online. Get more control over your life. Even if it feels like it's all falling to pieces, there will be something you can do to take control of your life, no matter how small it is. It'll be hard at first but you need to take baby steps until you're in a better place, and then you'll be able to see how far you've come.
>be on a waiting list for phone support counselling for a traumatic event >they don't get back to me for months >in this time I've been through hell but started to work my way up >not even obsessing about it anymore, actually feel normal >2 mins ago they rang me up and persuaded me to come in for 1 on 1 irl counselling next week I feel like I'm back at square one. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it. Maybe I should have just told them I didn't need it anymore. I don't want to become a wreck of a person again.
on topic I think my wardrobes really taking shape lately so that's nice
>>8812592 I never even fucking liked Snape and I'm really sad jesus fuck I want to hug someone and watch the last Harry Potter for the first time, which is an entirely different sad story..
>>8812618 I feel you so hard, I have a fucking nonexistent lower jaw and I'm terrified of it, they'll probably start taking teeth out... but then I think back to that photo I took in grade 2 where one of my goddamn teeth is poking out and making me look like an angry vampire last year of high school the photog taking our photos forced me to teeth-smile and of course my mother decided she wants that picture. I just want to burn it whenever I have to see it
>>8812207 Seriously, be bitchy right back. Do stuff with other friends and don't invite her. Tell her she should stop stealing lines from the Nasty Bully Girl from Disney/Nickelodeon shows and come up with more original comments. Mock her food/clothes/hair/life the same way she mocks others'. If she gets offended, just roll your eyes and snap that she's being too sensitive, and doesn't she do this to everyone anyway? She's not being a bitch when she does it, so why can't she take your concrit/a joke/an innocent yet snide comment? When people act like this, they feel insecure and/or want attention. Make her feel insecure about her newfound assholeliness and she'll either move away from you to keep getting Cool Kid Points (in which case you have -1 headache in your life) or she'll stop, because suddenly being a whiny cow isn't cool anymore. If she wants to keep hanging out with super-competitive Instagram hipsters then that's her choice. Just don't let her wreck your self-esteem because of it, because that's how you enable assholes. Stand up to her, call her out on her bitching if it gets too much to handle, and learn to do things by yourself if you don't have anyone else you feel comfortable hanging out with. She's toxic as shit and losing her will free you so much, you have no idea.
>>8812592 Same, anon, same. I had to comfort my mother when Bowie died because he was such a huge part of her youth, and now she's doing the same for me, though she has no idea who Rickman is. 2016 is gonna be one of those years...
>>8812735 Go to the counselling. You might be surprised how much it can help. I, too, just tried to deal with a really traumatic thing alone and struggled for a long time to get over some PTSD until I started talking to someone about it, as much as I hated doing so. It really did help. Best of luck, anon.
>>8812741 Just don't push yourself too hard. You're not an anime protagonist, you can only do so much at once. If your life is on track (as in, you might have occasional moments of self-loathing and depression but 80% of the time it's smooth sailing) then you should look at going back. Until you get to that point, just don't. You'll end up convincing yourself that you're a failure for not finishing it earlier and it'll all spiral down from there. Try setting small goals for yourself, and increasing the amount/difficulty of the goals every two or three weeks, and keep reading up on the course you were on. It'll help you get used to the workload in uni and manage time and stress better. Schedule in free days where you can do fuck all and days where you just get out of the house and spend all day at the zoo or walking in a forest or some shit, to give yourself a break and re-energize. To be honest, it sounds like you bit off more than you could chew, and your condition just made life much harder than it already was. If you work up to it bit by bit it'll still be hard, but it will be way easier to manage, because you're working around your aspergers instead of ignoring it entirely and burning yourself out. Good luck, anon. You'll get there.
>Have huge crush on a cutie who has the same interests as me >We've talked all the time now for a few years >Was gonna ask him out >Find out he's gay and he moved to a different state >No chance with him at all
I'm not gonna talk to him anymore despite his attempts to talk to me. It hurts way too much.
>>8811898 Well it looks like whatever yall fuckers are sending my way is working. I'll try to fully shorten and explain the good news. >go to court; can't really get an extension but landlady is willing to give us 9 extra days - 3 weeks to come up with the money >start looking for other housing >call a mortgage lender about certain loan programs >tells me that based on our credit and income, we could possibly be in a bigger and better house (not trailer) by next year at the latest >never used any programs so everything is open to us >because of that, he says we could walk into a new home without paying jack shit out of pocket >why didn't we look into this shit earlier?! >actually getting minorly excited about leaving this house and getting an actual home >about a week ago, we got a new property manager and she's a snotty bitch from the get go; debating if I even want to stay here anymore, house never seems fixable, shit's always breaking, oldest two are pitching a MAJOR fit that they have to share a room, neighbors are nice but some are being fucktards >then this all happens >seems like we're being told to try for another house
>interesting note: if we do happen to get a foreclosure in our credit (hasn't happened yet), if we can prove a medical hardship prevented him from working for 6 months, we only have to wait a year instead of 3 years to apply for another mortgage >husband was out of work 6 months to the DAY >GodIsSmilingUponUs.png
>shitty news: ask a girl if I can room with them to Katsucon, tell her I can give her the funds at the end of the month >talk back and forth about how shitty it is for people to back out of rooms last minute >then all this shit happens >don't wanna back out cause it's only $180 and I could afford it and it's been forever since I've had a mini vacation, but I can see the backlash from so many people saying I should save it, including myself >...FUCK.
>Been suffering from depression for many many years >Friends see me as some sort of depression-guru because of this >Nice that people count on me for advice >One friend is having a hard time right now >Becomes super clingy and needy >Okay dude I can barely handle myself on a daily basis at least leave me alone at night >Can't really tell him off because poor thing will probably over think it whether he wants to or not >Feeling like an asshole for not being able to be there for a friend that needs me and getting stressed out because of him
None of this probably makes sense, but goddamnit I'm having stomach aches because he's so needy. I know he thinks of me as an expert and feels like he has no one else to turn to in this, but I don't know any magical remedies. I just want to breathe.
>>8813586 I know, and this is the first time he's suffering from depression so he doesn't know how to deal with it or contain himself so he's pretty clueless with how and when he should give someone space. I know he needs all the support he can get, but there is a limit to how much I personally can give him because of my mental issues.
Maybe I can tell him to back off a bit when he's feeling better, because - as mentioned earlier - he won't be able to handle that the way he is now.
>>8813563 >>8813596 Try to get him to do breathing exercises or meditate. I'd say also talk to him and try to set boundaries because you have to worry about your mental health too. Reassure him that you're not trying to get rid of him and that he can contact you if he absolutely needs to, but you just need some time to yourself once in a while.
>>8813603 I help him through a lot of breathing exercises, various ways to meditate and what he could use to relax and just let his emotions go so he can get them out of the system. But because of the depression he's extremely pessimistic so it's hard to make him fully understand what I mean without almost having to do the work for him (he isn't like this usually so I know he doesn't mean to do that). But you're right, I'm going to think through how to say it to him in the nicest way possible. Even though what you're saying is really nice as well, I want to make sure there is as little room as possible for his demons to twist and turn what I'm trying to say - even if it means I have to go down to toddler level of communication.
Though I wonder where the hell the friend that (in lack of better words) "dumped" him on me is, she was so proud that he relied on her for support and just leave. I want to help him, but she can't expect me to do her part of the work as well. Probably going to ask her about that when I have time.
Was doing a group with my friends for an upcoming con. A week before the convention and they've all bailed, claiming they have conflicting arrangements even though we've been planning this for a long time. When I suggested going on a different day of the con, no one replied, and they acted like I never said anything. I suggested the same thing again, and the same result came of it. I still want to go to the convention, but I don't want to go alone, and it would just remind me of my group ditching me. Sorry gulls, I just needed to vent.
>>8811447 You can take your dyes to a salon and have them help you out. I work in one close to a vietnamese community and a lot of girls come in with Palty and other special asian dyes we don't sell. It's a normal thing. Call your local salon and ask, or post a question on their social media. Don't worry about the patches you missed. Many customers we get are people that botched home cut jobs and want us to use our magic to make it into something workable. Nothing to fear there.
>>8813840 Same feels here anon. >girl from my comm constantly pulling shady shit with me >want to vent and be reaffirmed for how shitty she is >know she browses here >she also knows plenty of blood-thirsty e-fame lolitas who would put me on their shit list by proxy as well
>have crush on guy friend for all of high school, yet hardly see each other >go to same uni now, randomly run into each other and decide to start hanging out >all we do is just watch anime together but we start cuddling and it's literally a dream come true >last time we hung out he randomly kisses me, end up making out and he's really into it >he's being incredibly sweet and romantic, I'm basically turning into a pile of mush >we arrange to hang out the next day >instead tells me suddenly he's not comfortable and leaves a minute later with no explanation whatsoever >I'm fucking pissed and confused, also quite upset because there was no indication of this at all before >a few days later he gives me an actual explanation after I ask but I'm still heartbroken
he's basically my dream guy and I know I shouldn't be hopeful that he'll come back when he's emotionally ready but I just can't help it. I feel like I wasted years of emotional energy on him for nothing.
>>8808779 Just enjoy your undertale anon. I am. I am more than a little wary of the fanbase I see on tumblr, and oh god it seems facepaint skelebros are the new homestuck trolls of cons, but just like what you like, cosplay what you like, and side step away from fans you dont want to be associated with and set a good example.
>>8813997 God, I'm right there with you anon. For the past few days I've been in this weird cycle of thinking about David Bowie, listening to his music, getting a song stuck in my head, and getting upset. I don't even know why I'm getting so worked up about this, I guess I just never thought of someone like David Bowie actually dying. I haven't even had time to process Alan Rickman's death yet, but I know that when that sinks in I'll be just as distraught.
>Con this weekend >Person on FB said that they're going to be cosplaying Jareth >I might just burst into tears at the convention floor if I see him
>>8813820 I think you should go and have a good time. Find another friend or make new ones there. I'm sorry your whole group bailed on you and isn't even responding to you, though. That's super shitty.
>become obsessed with the Deka Wanko dorama >want to do a couple cosplay of Wanko and Kiri >tfw don't have a boyfriend and will be single for the forseeable future >tfw even if i get a boyfriend he probably will not be as cute as Tegoshi Yuya >why live
>years ago in high school >me and best friend on PS2 playing kingdom hearts >countless weekends spent marathoning playing kh >remember when kh2 came out specifically >the intro was slow/boring and I never played it >just seen people cosplay it all these years thinking it must be alright >recently bought an hd tv >bought the hd remake of kh games bc why the fuck not? >bf marathoning them >kh is as good as I remember >kh2 however, is contrived and convoluted as shit
Holy fuck, the plot is so awful. Was the only reason 2 was cosplayed was because of the yaoi fangirls?
>>8814595 I thought 2 was bad, too. Plot wasn't as good, worlds weren't as deep or interesting, Roxas was annoying piece of trash. I played the whole thing but didn't think it was nearly as good as 1. I could never get into any of the other KH games, though.
>>8810118 We tend to do things on our own, most of the time keeping quiet about because she WILL throw a hissy fit because she wasn't invited. She doesn't deal with the fact that we don't need her to hang out very well (it used to be worse though). Right now I try to avoid her for a bit, she has entered a boy crazy phase so all she ever talks about is dudes and tinder. Even boasting that she found the guy I like and got a match with him (according to him that meant nothing since he was just trying it out and playing around with it. But it still hurt a bit that she has to do that in my face when she knows how I feel about him). So I'm just waiting for her to calm down before casually hanging out again, though it does make sense that she could be using all of these things as an escape from reality. She can buy herself into these hobbies, but she can't buy friendship.
>>8814567 it was vague but he said he went through some family thing and isn't quite over it I guess? I'm not really sure if it's just some bullshit excuse, but we've been friends for long enough that I trust him to be honest with me when it comes to things like this.
>>8813541 >>8813575 I'm glad things are looking up, anon! Moving is a hassle but it's worth the stress if just staying where you are is a headache. Plus, you can get excited about room threads and find cute shit on Ali and Ebay to cheer the place up. Hoping things keep going well!
>stopped cosplaying because of low self esteem >get into cosplay photography as a hobby >enjoy taking hall shots at conventions >want to improve >can't discuss anything on /p/ because they're generally contemptuous of cosplay as a whole >lurk /cgl/ for some advice >pretty much the only photography related threads are bad photographs/photoshop ones and ones shitting on meme photographers >every time I take a picture at a con I can't help but wonder if the cosplayer is the type of person that posts on /cgl/ and shits on photographers and I fucking hate the idea that they might find my photo online and actually really like it >no longer bother tagging my photos or posting them in cosplay message boards because I no longer care if the cosplayers find their photos or not I wish I could just drop this hobby and do street photography like a normal person.
>Moved back in after college since my visa ran out >Had to pack up all of my apartment >Back with parents, where I have to keep all of my own decorations, collections, costumes, dolls, and figures hidden in my room >Have absolutely no space in my room anymore >New job thus move doesnt start till april
I love my parents, and I'm thankful that this isnt a permanent thing and I do have a job secured some place damn far away from here... but it feels like being in high school all over again. They keep reprimanding me for my sleeping schedule, but my side job requires me to work from 5am to 10 am so weird sleep schedules are kind of a given.
I can't seem to make friends with anyone in my comm, and it sucks. It's hard watching them kiss each others' asses all the time online and irl. I was hoping to meet people and make at least one lolita friend. Instead I have several pleasant acquaintances and a lot of mixed feelings every time one of them posts because soon enough it turns into this mutual circle jerk.
>submit my photo to a lolita blog >everyone seems to love it, It gets a bunch of notes >I'm very happy because this coord came out great >person who runs the lolita blog deletes my picture from their blog >hasn't deleted anything else, just my submitted photo
why what did I do? did they suddenly decide they didn't like me?
>get in bed >try to get cozy >brain: there's a meet next weekend and you don't have anything to wear and you haven't mentally prepared for the stress of meeting new people oh yeah and what if your dress rips again what if you're late to work after the meet what if you break out that day what are you going to do with your hair? >every damn night this week Come on brain this is supposed to be a hobby not a new source of stress...
My birthday is today, doing some volunteering at a local museum where I get to talk about dinosaurs to little kids, I'm gonna enjoy it. Afterwards I finally get to go fabric shopping and get my first manicure ever. Feelsgood.
>super excited >finally started leaving bodyline for brand >second piece of brand arrives today >ap >too tight >first piece of brand was also ap and was also tight >feel like fat blob >immediately throw every single unhealthy food in the trash and go for a run
Give me strength seagulls. I never saw myself as someone fat but this just put everything in perspective. I thought I was ok because I wear bodyline M. I'm starting slow and both pieces were cardigans, but I think they should look loose instead of tight...
>still has to live with overweight parents and a boyfriend that keeps buying me tasty but unhealthy food
>Muji's US webshop was down for months >Finally returns and has a bag I've been dying to buy >Bunch of comments floating around online that the webshop was closed because of a massive malware/virus issue and a bunch of customers had their card info compromised
I don't know if I should risk it or not, because I'm not in an area where I could just go to the store itself. Maybe I'll just use a giftcard instead or something.
>>8815936 It's not a very good idea to compare measurements between brands, look at the items' measurements and compare them to yours. Make sure there's at least 3cm difference between the garment size and your measurements (regarding bust and waist size), and remember that shoulder width is also important. In any case, good luck getting healthier! You can do it, anon!
>haven't cosplay for 2 years since I had an "accident" >really nothings excites me enough >but suddenly Undertale appears >I'm always player indie horror rpg games, and games with "retro" vibe >I just love it, specially Mettaton >Finally I have that feel, I'm enthusiastic again! >Planning to do it! >but... >"anon everyone is doing Mettaton" "oh anon, you will cosplay Mettaton too" "why don't you choose another character?" "Mettaton is boring, everyone does it" "Oh, you will jump into the bandwagon too..." Literally every friend, they just keep saying the same again and again >Lose enthusiasm.
>>8815726 Maybe ask why it was deleted? Present it in a "I just want to know so I can avoid doing the thing in the future" light rather than a "How dare you" one, and it should be okay. If they get hyper defensive and aggro about it, and you've ruled out any other way you could have offended them, maybe they're just jelly or have a chip on their shoulder. Also, make sure you review any rules they have for submissions, too. Sometimes odd things you wouldn't expect pop up in those.
>pay all the bills >decide to splurge a bit on lolita with extra dosh >a couple payments had processing lag >might have overspent because I overestimated how much I had >nervous >hate being paid biweekly for this reason >hope I don't overdraft until friday Also >work shitty hours until 1am because of my age >all young people get shitty shifts while oldfucks get first pick, that is literally the policy regardless of hire date or skillset >other young bitch has to work until 2am >constantly harasses me to work her extra hour so she can go home >for no good reason other than she wants to get home earlier >as if it's worth it for me to stay until 2am for one measly hour of pay >pretend I "don't receive" her texts just so I'm not obligated to respond
Maybe she should just quit. I mean, 1am isn't a convenient time either and I never have a life. But it's also not my fault nor my problem. I don't owe her anything.
>first time couple cosplaying with bf >first cosplay sewn by me >kind of an unknown series so meh, no one might even recognize us but still kinda nervous >3 people recognize us >they absolutely gush over our costumes and we have a nice short chat and pose for some pics >they tell us seeing our cosplay made their whole day
>>8815402 Let me tell you what. I cosplayed as the 4 swords links with my friends once. And the entire weekend con was a disaster. Had some people shit on my costume, panels blew, lost some shit, yadda yadda.
Honestly, I was going to quit cosplay as a whole. After the con I was dicking around and found a shot of all of us from a random photographer. Just seeing that someone appreciated the costume enough to take a great photo and post it made me go back the next year.
I was feeling really good and then my gf broke up with me >tfw I try watching anime to make me feel better but characters remind me of her so I just end up crying >thinking "I'll cosplay!" only makes me sad because I have no friends who cosplay, will spend the con alone >but so sad don't want to talk to anyone, not even good friends, so I can't even make new friends >shitty at making new friends anyway so even if I wanted to it wouldn't matter
I should stop wallowing in self pity but I'm really good at it
>Read about all these convention horror stories about fangirls glomping dudes >Never been glomped myself >Feel ugly and inadequate
>Consider myself too ugly to do any type of male cosplay justice >Always do obvious male in a female cosplay to compensate >no one ever comes up to me to talk >Friends hate anime, no one really wants to go to cons with me >Always marginally older than the rest of the cosplayers(28) i wonder why i even bother sometimes
>>8816254 Breakups are shit and they take time to get over. Don't force yourself to pretend that everything's fine. Take time to wallow in misery. Just don't do it 100% of the time. Call your friends and explain that you feel shit, apologise for being a sad sack of snot and tears, and ask if they want to come over and try to slap you out of it. Accept that it happened and move on. Watch an entirely new anime series in a different genre, get out of the house and buy food, learn a dance routine, redecorate your room, do whatever you didn't do with her, and most importantly, talk to people about things that aren't you and your ex. Yeah, it's hard, but damn, don't get yourself stuck in a rut because of it. >>8816279 Stop hoping that a hambeast will crush you. Learn to makeup and do male cosplays, it's amazing what you can do with contouring. And don't be desperate, people can smell that a mile off. I'm sure you're not that disgustingly ugly. And people probably don't come up to you to talk because a)they don't to that to strangers b)you reek of desperation or c)they think you're there because you lost a bet, and don't want to talk to someone who ends up being a frat bro whose friends made him dress like a girl and go to the freak gathering.
>see someone complaining about SJW tier stuff that could only bother you if you have 'privilege' up your ass yourself >want to vocalize my disagreement >see everyone from your social circle agree with them >don't say a thing
As much as I love all of them and they're actually really nice, it kind of sucks being the only on in the group that isn't some fancy gender or sexuality because now I can't voice my opinion on issues anymore.
Like I'm not going to stop being friends just because of a silly opinion, but I can't say it doesn't bother me.
>holy grail dress pops up >it's expensive >already budgeting to buy it >already wondering if i shouldn't >could use that money to buy two or three other dream dresses but they're not holy grails like this one i'm so torn
>looking at dream piece on Lolibrary for the millionth time >realize it's made out of rather mediocre materials, and that something better could probably be homemade >So many hours have been spent looking for this piece and now I don't want it
Do I try to fall back in love with it, or do I move on to something else?
I had someone from my comm block me because I was too vocal on tumblr. Wonder what she thought of me IRL but eh, I don't talk to her much anymore since she left. I've moved on and I have different friends now with mostly differing opinions but similar attitudes towards things, so it's pretty chill.
Kind of a pointless rant but I can't fucking stand people who personify skin, like 'your skin is thirsty/angry/can't breathe'. Human skin doesn't breathe, we're not lizards. And it certainly can't get 'angry' (inflamed) or 'thirsty' (dehydrated). There are perfectly sound words you can use that don't make you sound retarded, use them.
>hey anon can you get me a 1930s suit pattern for a fancy dress party >sure dad heres like 15 >oh no anon i want a three piece >...oh ok heres some three piece patterns >no i want one that looks like this specific suit i found on a website that is literally nowhere else in the internet lol >mfw
My dream dress fucking finally is up for sale on lace market but now I don't have money for it. Fuck my life. Everything sucks. Of course it pops up after I transfer schools and am broke with no job. This fucking sucks ass. It's not even that expensive either its going for $160 but I just don't have the money for it and watch once I do have the money it won't pop up for sale again. I think I may be getting one final paycheck on tuesday but I'm not sure if it'll be enough for it so I don't wanna ask if they'll hold it for me plus I'd be flat broke for the rest of the semester if I spend it all on the dress. Fuck everything. I'm considering selling one of my other dresses for it but watch it won't be up once my dress sells.
>>8817725 anon, chill. it'll come up again. you're doing the mature thing by not buying it. real life has to come before frilly dresses. I lost out on my dream dress that was being sold on the bst thread too recently, and it's come up like four times on LM since its release. we'll both manage.
>>8817739 I had a kinda similar situation, I had just bought a dress so it was completely certain that I wouldn't be able to get it. I want to get married in that goddamn dress... eh, life goes on though. I'll just cherish the other dress, it's also cute as fuck but it's nowhere near dream tier.
>be a brolita >dress up in lolita yesterday >shopping at the mall with some lolita friends >accidentally bump into my boss at Nordstrom >asks "Why are you dressed up like that?" >come home >check work email >boss wants to have a 1 on 1 talk first thing Tuesday morning in his office 9am
I've been working for about 7 months now. We have a professional relationship, not a personal relationship. I don't want to be fired because someone doesn't like me dressing up with as a girl in public. My boss should not care what I do outside of work. It's not like I'm doing illegal drugs and I don't.
>>8817819 >If you have to, you could lie and say that you lost a bet?
I wouldn't lie to him about this. If I lied to him there's a chance later I would lie to him on work matters.
>>8817826 I would never dress up in lolita at work. It's business/smart casual for work. The city I work in has a human rights ordinance and the company gets high marks for equality from the HRC. What I brought to the table for this job were my skills and experience and in exchange, I get money to buy stuff. Add to this, this is my first job out of college.
I think he probably wants to talk on why I failed to respond to his question yesterday. It was awkward especially with my friends around me.
>>8817929 by putting yourself in social situations.
it's hard, it really is. but the only way to get over it is to force yourself to do it. work your way up to it! cosplay actually helped me a lot because it was easier for me to talk to people i knew shared interests with me. i'm still working on it myself, but i've gotten to the point that i can make small talk with a stranger on the train and stuff like that without feeling like i'm going to puke lmao.
>26 >don't date >a lot of my free time is dedicated to cosplay and attending cons >extended family always jokes about my hobby >are you still dressing up as your cartoons, anon? >have you met anyone yet? >when are you going to settle down? >meanwhile I have a cousin who got pregnant in high school by some white guy, the father of the child kicked her to the curb and already started dating someone else while she was pregnant >another cousin who knocked up some chick who he's no longer with and is stuck in the child support trap until the kid turns 21 >another cousin married a fat white chick with health problems and a half black son from a previous relationship Not a single one of them has started a traditional family with traditional values and they poke fun at me for not wanting to fall into the trap of modern day relationships.
>every 20 mins husband comes over, stands real close in my elbow room, and asks me what I'm working on The same shit I told you I've been doing the past 3 hours. I have not gotten up at all in this time. How about I stand between you and the TV every 20 mins and ask you what game you're playing even though we've been in the same room this whole time?
>>8818394 GOOOOOD my boyfriend does the same thing. It's even worse when I'm just browsing /cgl/. >What are you doinnnng? >Ohhh nothin! >you're not doing nothing! >browsing /cgl/ just like before >all you do is browse on /cgl/!
no it's not you just ask me what i'm doing 1000 times during the timespan i'm browsing omfg
>>8817884 >>8817889 Good points. I'm worried he'll talk to me about my public appearance anyways. I'm always deathly worried that dressing up as a woman and posting it on social media would make me unhirable by normies, but I keep my social media on private. What is ok to wear as a woman is not appropriate for a man. It's not fair.
>>8817929 Make a list of the things you feel or think when you get anxious. Stuff like 'I am a sperglord and have spewed spaghetti all over this conversation' or 'I have no idea how to regulate my voice so I don't screech, whisper, talk too late, or talk over people, and this makes me more likely to do all the above'. Work on each one individually. Don't know what to say in a conversation? Go online and talk to someone. It'll give you some practice and you'll be able to relax enough to have it carry over to real life. Don't know what you look like when you greet someone and worry that you look like a stalker with an axe fetish? Talk to yourself in the mirror. See how your face looks when you make a total tit of yourself, how you look when you're being normal, etc. You'll be tense at first but you'll know you won't look creepy in a real conversation. Talk to strangers irl. Best thing to do is go to a supermarket and politely ask about a certain aisle, and if you can handle more communication compliment the cashier's nails or something. If you feel anxious about having to root through your purse for change then let the person behind you cut in front- they won't mind, and you'll have more time to sort yourself out. It's scary, but you can do it. If you doubt yourself, you're going to be more conspicuous than if you just shrug things off. If you make a fool of yourself just roll your eyes and laugh, let people laugh with you, and move on. Don't get super sensitive about it if it was something funny, if it wasn't and they're being shits just laugh at yourself anyway and file the incident away, so you know who to mock mercilessly later. It's super hard to get rid of, but it honestly isn't something you'll need to work on forever. A couple of months of talking to random strangers online will help you talk to shop staff, which will help you talk to people generally, and it will all give you much needed confidence. Go for it anon.
>>8818328 Doing great and about to do shit tomorrow and the day after but that's all being planned for. Gonna make a huge chocolate cake for a party, doing extra cardio for it today and yesterday. And I can now fit into my jeans without sucking in my gut to button them up, so yay, good times.
>>8818679 No worries anon. Always here if you need a pick me up. I know how much it sucks to loose your energy for a hobby you love and then slowly getting back into it. I hope you love your cosplay, and stop by the undertale thread sometime.
>>8818375 Lol this. I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm either a lesbian or asexual and a virgin. I am straight and extremely interested in dick. I have no idea why having grandkids is so important to my mother, she hates looking after her niece and she's 12. I can't imagine her wanting a baby for any reason other than using it as a mannequin. I'm super into manga and sewing and lolita, and my extended family is basically turning into a gossip circle about what is wrong with me. I can't wait for the day I come home with someone I actually like for more than a one-night stand and blow up their little worlds. Hilariously, my sister is boy crazy and my mother is doing everything possible to dissuade her from getting a boyfriend... and she's 15. Like do you want your daughters to settle down and spawn or not, pick one.
>>8818460 It sucks but it'll get better. He'll unblock you when things die down. Sorry to hear about the AA, which con was it? If you have an online shop, post it in the AA thread or Etsy thread, I'm really curious to see what you were selling.
>>8818704 Glad to hear it! Try to avoid rewarding yourself with food, though, that's a dangerous path to go down.
You can have your cake and eat it, but make sure not to eat too much. Make sure that even if you "splurge", you don't go over your BMR (maintenance) calorie limit. If you can have cake and stay at or under your loss goal calories, great job!
god I know that feel. My family is pretty convinced I'm either dating my best friend (another girl) or that I'm just a single lesbian. I got nothing against lesbians, I'm just not one. I kind of let them keep thinking it, no skin off my back and it stops them from asking about why I'm not married with three kids yet at 23. But then again, I did go through my closet today and sort out that I now own about 20 flannel shirts. So I'm not entirely sure I can blame them.
>>8818719 First anon, we spend time together and I include him in my stuff because he's not the most outgoing or one to make big plans. When I run errands we go together and we cook and clean together but I'm the type that gets burnt out by the end of the day so I like to sit and work alone and he knows that. I think he thinks he's just checking up on me because I'm so quiet and don't get up for so long (like netflix pauses and ps3 auto shutoffs and I don't notice) but that's just how I am. Maybe he's just copying me because I check up on him at certain times to ask if he needs stuff added to the errands list or wants to make dinner but it's so annoying how he just gets right up in my space and repeats the same question over and over but when I ask him back he just says "playing a game".
>have thyroid problem >no biggie, learn to deal >medications are working for a time >after sometime, meds don't work anymore >symptoms aren't so bad, can chill until doctor can schedule surgery to take it out or radioactive pills to treat it
>be working on Cosplay, working the ole sewing machine whilst bf plays smash beside me >suddenly overcome by wave of dizziness, bf stops my hand from becoming part of a seam as I pass out >wake up in emergency >apparently thyroid problems are over taxing my heart, which is dangerous with my family history >majorly reduces working hours until problem is under control and my treatment happens in a few weeks >majorly reduces EVERYTHING I do, from lifting heavy objects to doing chores lest I overtax myself and my heart. Both bf and I are super stressed >new meds I'm using makes me dizzy and weak for an hour or so and I have to take it a couple of times a day >force myself to stop working on Cosplay or I might hot glue my thigh to an armour piece >con is super soon and I won't finish my Cosplay by then >might not end up going to con at all due to lack of funds from not working >find out that my thyroid problem has a chance of causing miscarriages
>>8818897 Damn anon that sucks. My mom suffers from thyroid problems I know to a degree how hard that is to deal with.
If you skip the con it might be fore the best, less freaking about money, and some relaxation will be good. You can return to cons and cosplay once you get things a bit more sorted. I hope things look up for you soon.
I recognize I have mild hoarding tendencies when it comes to my wardrobe... but even with doing a good will haul once every three months or so, I can still only fit about a third of my wardrobe comfortably in my closet and drawers. It's not even just jfashion, its all clothes. Skirts and blouses, jeans, shoes, summer dress's, lolita, mori stuff, all of it I love and adore but have entirely too much of.
But I know myself. I'm just going to say 'ok no more clothes buying for at least 6 months!' but next time I wind up any where near a clothes store, or even just browsing a taobao tag, I'm going to find something I feel a great need to own.
I'm a very plain lolita, I'm not an ita, but I wear plain things and don't do fancy coords. Some lolitas wouldn't count me as a lolita, more of a normie-lolita hybrid and I know it, because I've been interested the fashion for 10ish years. But my first order was a nightmare, and now my family is upset to spend so much money for the mail, so I promised to buy things from western stores. I want to join a comm. Maybe to see other girls, and see how I may measure up with my normie dresses and plain coords. See what other girls do. Make some friends to help me out a little. But I'm a very plain-jane lolita.
>>8819249 I've been hesitant because of the whole shipping thing. I've had bad experiences shipping buttons or small items to friends let alone a customer. Issues with the contents being removed before they reach the person. I'll give it some thought. Thank you.
>>8819243 I like your art! Definitely open an online store, I'd be all over that, ngl. If you're worried about shipping try sending things in a bubble invelope- I know you were probably doing that already, but a few friends had issues with envelopes being torn open and missing contents and they were mostly normal envelopes. Or get tracking.
>>8812289 I HATE roaches! I find them in the bathroom during the summer because the sink pipe wasn't completely sealed so there's a little crack roaches can squeeze through. Luckily when I shriek my BF grabs one of his thick boots and smashes it.
Although he's a very clean person, he lacks motivation too. We live with 2 other people and his chore is dishes. He does a good job but it's hard to get him to do them. I have to nag at him to do them but he's always playing some game. He wouldn't believe me if I said I was going to leave him like another anon did but idk how to fix his lack of motivation.
>>8819610 Thank you! I need to get on opening a store to sell some of the bigger items that I couldnt get rid of anyway. I think the issue was that NY postal service is crap and they would open packages and remove contents sometimes. Happened shipping items out and receiving them as well. I just bought a pack of 100 padded envelopes off ebay to get things started!
>commission friend to make cosplay prop >hasn't done many props, but they were all really nice, like REALLY nice, and she's out of a job at the moment >also does it for really cheap >reveals that they bought a base toy off aliexpress to modify, that's why it's so cheap >t-that's okay, it still might turn out nice! >painting stage >"I'm going to leave those bits off, because I don't have the right paint" >"I'll buy you the right paint if you want, it really needs those bits to be accurate, it kinda needs to be accurate" >"well actually I think it looks more stylish like this, I don't want to do those bits" >regret every decision made about this prop >probably will "accidentally" forget to pack it >never commissioning a friend ever again
>Need money for rent and things whist transferring bank accounts >Sort out lolita clothes I don't wear enough for to sell them >Fall in love with each piece again whilst I'm photographing them for listing
> active organizer and attendee of every cgl meet at every con I've attended (minimum of 12 meet ups in 3 years) > Met some of my closest friends at meets > Moving out of state soon > Will only be able to attend two more meets before final move > After move will barely be able to attend a single con a year in home state
I'm a grown man and cgl I can't contain my shit. You've been too good to me, maybe my new state will be alright but I'm going to miss this community.
>>8821749 This is the information age, dum-dum. You can continue to friend them over the tubes. Collect their information and stay in touch. I've had friends that I've only met in person like once or twice each for like 6-7 years, and they're my best friends. Only seeing them online doesn't make it any less of a friendship. Hell, one of my online friends loaned me 8,000 bucks for a car. It's a new age, you don't have to meet in person to keep or make friends anymore.
>looking to sell my lolita >Taking pictures, realize some of the taobao stuff is larger than I remembered >realize how fat I used to be >sees ginger lolita thread >cries a little bit
I'm moving and won't be able to afford lolita for a while since the cost of living there is a lot higher and I'll be living alone. I also chickened out of getting complete coords together for all but one of my dresses, so I would still have to sink more money in if I wanted.
It still hurts to put up my first dress, though. Got it for my sixteenth birthday after saving up my allowance for forever since my family took a trip to Japan.
>>8821756 Good point. I'm not particularly close to them, but knowing them they will get upset, and outside of this incident they're really sweet. Thank you for pointing that out, I could have wrecked a friendship there.
>>8821943 I see what you are saying. I currently frequent a few voip communities with the people who attend these events so I can see our friendships shifting more towards that style of relationship. I will just grin and bear the loss of the in person drunken adventures after meet ups until I run into then again once a year or so.
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