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Feels thread

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New feels thread, let's try to keep this one on topic.

Does anyone else ever have nightmares about getting to the con and their cosplays not being ready/forgetting important things? I always get them after I start working on a cosplay.
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>Pre-order Stormtrooper armor from a company back in April for a price too good to pass up
>Expected delivery date shifts from December to this month
>Small local con is in 3 weeks
>Company says they're hopeful to send out the first batch sometime mid January
>Really hoping it arrives before the con at least a week before so I can put it all together before then
>Have actually had dreams of it arriving at the door and starting to put it together

It's so close I can almost taste it.
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>>8800083
I want to apply for AM's j-fashion show but I'm too afraid of:
1) being rejected
2) backlash
Being in a burando fashionshow is part of my bucket list and I'm not getting younger...
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>>8800123

Anovos? All the same I hope you get it on time
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>>8800203
Yep. Thanks.
>>
>dream dress comes up in BST, preferred colour and all
>can't get it because post-holiday poorfag
>checking again just in case it hasn't been sold yet
>of course it's sold
>realise it's only been listed 4 times on LM and has been out for 3 years
I am a little bit upset
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>>8800182
actual brandwhore
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>>8800182

Is it worse to be rejected or to never have tried?
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>>8800083
i had one of these nightmares literally last night. it was so stressful.
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>>8800182
Can you even still apply? Con's in a month. Thought they would have had everyone picked by now.
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>>8800354
not if lots of models are boycotting. not everyone is a brandwhore.
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I hate seeing so many cute, good cosplayers online who are only like 14. I don't understand where they get the money, resources, anything, and it makes me so jealous. I would have loved to cosplay when I was that young and I feel like I've lost so much skill I could have gained if I had that kind of opportunity at their age and I'm only 20.
Is this what it feels like to be old and bitter?
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>>8800389
iktf with many things in life. struggling to catch up with basic 1st world human existence.

gulls who are parents, help set your kids up for fulfilling adulthoods. whatever you do, develip their ability to pursue their dreams while always having a safe haven when they need it. so much time is wasted on most people's childhoods because people have kids and don't plan for them to become independent, creative, and compassionate adults.
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This is the third night I can't sleep due to panic symptoms and I'm so tired it's unbelievable.

To keep it on topic

>Pay for huge taobao order's shipping with SAL so it wouldn't cost a bomb
>Shopping service messed up my order and charged me too much
>They quickly get back to me, refund the money they didn't need and change my shipping to EMS free of charge
>Have to deal with god damn fucking parcelforce customs fees now

I appreciate the effort but fuck you motherfuckers I am not made of money
>>
>>8800083
I have these nightmares before basically every convention. Even if I'm not cosplaying.
>>
My comm treats me so differently when I'm in taobao than how they do when I'm in brand. Makes me want to be a lone lolita if the onky friends I can make in this fashion in my area are so superficial.
>>
>post boystyle coord online
>get flirty comments
>wear boystyle coord to meet
>get ignored

who else recently realized looking decent doesn't make up for a lousy personality?
>>
>>8800426
If you have to deal with customs with EMS, then you would have to deal with them with SAL too. They both switch to domestic carrier once they arrive in your country, no?
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>>8800426
>This is the third night I can't sleep due to panic symptoms and I'm so tired it's unbelievable.

Are you me anon
>I'd have to get up in three hours
>panic because approaching exams, papers I still have to write presentations I have to give, I need to register for said exams, I haven't started studying yet, etc
>the thought of getting out of bed alone makes me want to vomit
>I would have to talk to my prof about a belated presentation in the class and the thought of being scolded for being a piece of shit makes me nauseous
I brought this mess on myself, now all I can do is lay awake and hat emyself, dreading class. I just want to stay home and cry and never talk to anyone again or take any kind of responsibility. I've set myself back yet another semester literally because I could not find the courage or motivation to get to class or do ANYTHING. The only reason I even left the house is because I'm a poorfag who lives with parents.

cgl-related
>yesterday
>expecting two parcels
>both "in delivery" and marked as being delivered today
>"Sweet, they will arrive today!"
>no parcels

>today
>parcels in delivery again, alright, they'll arrive today!
>no postman, no parcel, no update on the tracking
Fuck this shit, this was the only thing I was looking forward to.
>>
>tripped today
>looked through my lolita prints
>have a new appreciation for AP
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>>8800536
i imagined a lolita tripping over her Bodyline shoes or something, landing helter-skelter in her closet, then just like rummaging through her shit without getting up
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>read post of seagull
>remember why you hate cons
>tfw you come here to see people having fun
>tfw you come here to see people making great cosplays and beautiful coords
>tfw never had a backbone and will never have to wear lolita or any other j-fashion

I will always hate my cousins and my brother, i am bitter, they always made fun of me because i was a weeb, of course, it helped me to grow up i guess, but now i can't listen to japanese because i feel like shit, i can't think about dressing up in j-fashion because that makes me cringe really hard. But i still love that.
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My longterm bf broke things off with me out of the blue the other day because he "had become unable to put effort into thinking about me" and had "stopped liking me as much" over the course of a few months of doing long distance. I thought we both realized ldr would be difficult and had decided to do our best to communicate and work things out, but I guess I was mistaken. It's been very hard for me to deal with everyday life the last two days.

In more cgl-related feels: I am an emotional buyer, and I blew more money that I really shouldn't have on clothing once this all happened. At least now I can wear whatever I want without worrying that he'll say it's "too much," not that it's really any consolation.
>>
>bought first house
>house had been vacant for almost 2 years
>previous owners had mail stopped
>post office thought the house was still vacant and bounced packages back to japan and china
I'm going to scream I swear to god. We set up mail forwarding to the house and no one said anything. Some of the shit I ordered wasn't tracked.
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>>8800579
that's actually fairly common and has to do more with the forwarding than previous owners. it's fairly common.
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>>8800567
I'm so sorry, anon. Ldr is such a strain, and that was really unfair of him to not hold up his end and communicate with you. Break ups suck, but I hope you get to feeling better soon. You deserve someone who doesn't cease having the energy to think about you just because you aren't immediately accessible.
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>>8800536
Idk why I found this so funny
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>>8800586
What happened then? I set up forwarding from my old apartment to the new house so USPS had to be aware the house was occupied (or at least like said something to me, right?), and when I bought the stuff I was currently living in the house and had it shipped to the house. According to a tracked package they made no attempt to deliver, just got it at the post office, held it for two days, then shipped it right back.
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>>8800598
>held it for two days, then shipped it right back.
>held it for two days
>two days
The fuck is wrong with your postal system?
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>>8800604
If anon is in the US, I've had my PO/USPS pull the most ridiculous shit like this. It's gotten to the point where I'm on a first name basis with my post master and I think someone in the office or on my route just fucking hates me.
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>>8800623
Me again. My old post office held some shit from ali express once because I missed the first and only delivery and they wanted a signature. The tracking page told me I had weeks to pick them up. In reality, they held the stuff for less than a week before shipping it back. And I was super fucked because they didn't even leave a notice, I just happened to check the tracking wondering where my stuff was and see it was already gone.

Tracking page still said I had until X day to pick them up despite the tracking also saying my shit was already sent back. That was real nice.
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>>8800567
Congratulations sweetie, you found out that ass clown doesn't deserve you. You're gonna be sad for a little but that's OK. Being a little sad is better than wasting anymore time on someone who is so short minded. You'll find the right person babycakes, and until then you get to date yourself for a while. Wear the clothes you bought for yourself. Watch your favorite movies. Indulge in something yummy. You're gonna be alright.
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>graduated grad school back in May
>move to new state
>fancy degree couldn't really get me a job in anything besides teaching which I still needed qualifications for
>got an okayish beginner job with decent perks and health insurance in service
>bf and I moved into new apartment
>budget the expenditures
>~$830 for rent in a nice area near our jobs, and another ~$100 after utilities and internet between us
>do my personal budget
>~$1700 in credit card debt to pay and student loans
>"Hey where is my student loan bill?"
>federal agency never sent me ANY paper billing or notification
>getting ready to call one morning when I notice an email
>like so many SallieMae spam emails, I would have written off this as spam if not for the "Oops! You missed a payment!" title
>wut.jpg
>open it
>it's some borrower from GA with some stupid ass name
>apparently this is my federal loan
>missed my payment on the first for $400 because I was never notified by paper
>kind of pissed off
>pay $100 immediately and forbear the rest
>have to get that amount readjusted
>tfw I owe $39k but all I can think about is how this fucks my opportunities to afford lolita

Sometimes I wish I had rich parents/bf to take care of me and pay my shit desu senpai
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>working on gradually cutting calories over the last six months
>doing alright, lost ~5-10 pounds and two inches off my waist; clothing has been fitting nicer and I feel better in underwear
>also working a stressful 12-hr/day job with lots of side commitments/projects going on
>binge ate Nutella from the jar nearly every night this last week
>give me strength

To keep it semi board-related, part of my motivation for eating less is to look better in a bodysuit that I'm currently working on. I'd made a bodysuit three years ago for a different cosplay and hated the way I looked in pictures.
>>
>Weight have been same for years
>Sudden weight gain last spring (maybe stress caused by school and shit)
>All my cosplays are now too tight

For the bright side my BMI is now scaled 'normal' and have stopped rising. But now I have to make many new costumes since I can't wear the old ones.
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I have good feels to share today
>be mostly gothic lolita
>my jam is Moitie, Atelier Pierrot, Boz, and Meta prints
>have boyfriend who's fine with my crazy clothes, knows basic things about lolita, but isn't that interested himself
>flipping through wardrobe posts coveting gothic shit and cat prints
>boyfriend occasionally looking over shoulder when I point out something I particularly like
>boyfriend suddenly asks me to stop and go back because he really liked one of the dresses, thinks I would look good in it
>it's Crystal Dream Carnival in navy
>point out that it was a bloodbath print and it'll be at least $400 + shipping + customs, if I can find it
>he shrugs and tells me that it's not that expensive (!!) and offers to pay for part of it because he really likes it
I actually kinda gaped at him blankly until he got almost defensive about his offer...either way, I think my boyfriend has a dream dress now. Even if it is a newish AP print instead of old school Moitie.
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>>8800832
Is this C? If it is, girl you look fine.
>>8800919
>Crystal Dream Carnival in navy
I will fight you for that dress.
>>
>saw a great deal for my desired dress
>has the cash to splurge
>recently did not do well on my studies
>did what I can on my studies but due to mental condition it turns out not good
>feels guilty for wanting to get that dress

... What should I do and what should I feel?
>>
>>8800952
Honestly I'm probably not going to end up buying it because I'm unlikely to find it in time. I can't be bothered trawling through a gazillion second hand sites like I did for my own dream dress, so chances are by the time I see it it'll have sold. If I find it on auction though, fight's on.
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>>8800919
Your boyfriend is really sweet. Even if both of your taste is not exactly matching it's nice for him to be supportive of your fashion choice.

My boyfriend does the whole 'dream dress' thing too. The problem is, my taste is more towards AatP and I do like border prints. He prefers plain dresses with nice embellishments, his dream dress is Meta's Pintuck Tiered Pinafore JSK. I have an AatP pintuck dress and he compliments it always when I wear it. But when I buy dresses with print he'll always comment that it looks nice but it felt like it does not have the timeless look.
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>>8800970
Yeah, it was totally awesome of him. Iktf about different tastes! I love both plain and printed dresses but I have never been an AP person at all.
Overall we try to be supportive because we both have expensive hobbies (he is really into motorcycling and always "needs" something) but it was really nice to see him actually excited about it.
>>
I don't know if I should be going to /adv/ for this, but it's cgl related so here we go.
Is anyone else struggling with outgrowing their friends? Not exactly the right phrase to use, but basically I'm moving on with my life, getting my own place and pursuing my dream career, with offers for employment once I graduate. Lolita and cosplay are my main hobbies and keep me sane when normal life is hectic, but all of my old weeb friends are still the same as they were when we met in school. Some are actually studying, but they're mainly doing Japanese with no planned career and have no plans of ever moving out. I've already somewhat fallen out of frequent contact with a lot of people due to distance, and I really only have two close friends currently. The problem is I feel more like their therapist, since both of them have constant relationship problems they never resolve and besides from that only talk about whatever anime/tv show they're obsessed with that week and how much they ship everyone. I'm glad to give advice and listen to fangirling from time to time, but it just gets so repetitive and one sided. I've got plenty of things happening in my life I'd like to share, but they just have zero interest in things that don't directly relate to things they like.
I'm just getting tired with both of them, but I don't want to lose the only close friendships I have.
I'm hoping to make some new friends when I get actively involved with my local lolita comm, but until then I just don't know what to do.
>>
>>8801020
Definitely! I struggled with this towards the end of my degree. My advice is to reconnect with the people who are far away that you have decent friendships with and try to find people at the same stage either at work, where you study, or through your hobbies. I kinda treated it the same way as I would moving to a new country with no friends, i.e. being more open to talking to people, not being scared to strike up conversation with interesting people, trying to go out to things rather than staying in. It's a real effort but it's worth it, and you never know who you'll meet - I met one of my good friends in a supermarket!
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>>8801035
Thanks anon, that was encouraging stuff to hear! I'm going to try to adult-up and send a message to an old friend of mine I haven't spoken to in a few years, now that I'm moving we'll actually be able to catch up again. Just gotta remember to keep putting myself out there and talking to people!
>>
>have a page up on a local selling site promoting my work as a seamstress, people can contact me if they want something made
>someone contacts me if I know of some patterns they need

that's what google's for, not me. if you want me to make patterns I'm okay with that, but don't ask me something you could easily find on Google.
>>
>>8801020
I struggled with this a lot! In the end I just lost contact with many people, and I only talk to the person who was my best friend a few times a year because we just have nothing in common anymore. You don't need to share interests to be friends but if you can't find some common talking ground, what's the point?
Unfortunately it's really common for adults to struggle to make friends but if you have time, joining clubs or classes really helps you meet people. In the end it's just important to not feel bad when you naturally drift away from people, if they aren't making effort either then it's on you both and you shouldn't take the blame. However, reconnecting with old friends can be really nice.
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>>8800444
We have two carriers. Royal Mail and Parcelforce. Parcelforce has an inflated handling fee and deals with EMS things. It's stupid because the extra money it costs, I could have bought some other cute thing from taobao for my room.

>>8800448
Anon can we just hug and go hide under a bed together. I'm sorry that happened to you, it's such a nightmare.
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>>8800567
It's okay anon, long distance very really works out. My exgf and I did it for a few years but I was always doubting her loyalty and remaining faithful to me. Turns out my hunch was correct, she literally can't stop flirting with other guys, even now she's cheating on her current bf.


Just focus on making yourself happy right now. If you can't be happy by yourself, I don't think relying on someone else to make you happy through a relationship is wise.


Sorry, kind of turned this into a rant.
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>>8800919
Awww, that is sweet of him.

Semi related, where can I find a girl that's into Lolita? I want to have someone to talk about strange Japanese fashion and wear cosplay with.
>>
Sorry if this comes off really special snowflakey.

I finally decided to get therapy for my anxiety. It's been quite a few years but I haven't been able to hold a job, and it really sucks when I can't buy cute clothes to make me happy.

I'm really hoping that therapy will help me because I'm in a rut.
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>>8801238
It's great that you decided to take care of yourself, anon, anxiety is awful. Good luck!
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>>8801229
If you're actually interested in jfashion you can join your local comm, but you need to have an active interest rather than wanting to just pick up girls. The comms are really wary of creepers.
Alternatively if you're a cosplayer that has a mild interest in it you're better off just talking to cosplayer girls, since some of them dabble in lolita too. At cons you can dress up got and try to talk to them both.
Honestly, approaching girls based on their hobbies feels wrong. Just approach them to make friends, make sure to actually talk about the fashion rather than just complimenting them. If a friend grows into a date, that's great!
>>
This fucking online racebaiting by butthurt Americans is really getting on my tits.

Today I saw a black woman lecture a white girl into K-beauty how white people are 'fetishizing Asian culture by participating in jfashion/Asian stuff' and 'treating it as a fad'. Ugh, stop with that shit. What's worse is that I can't go anywhere that discusses Asian beauty without running into at least one crazy racist bitch who wants to segregate everyone into their respective cultures. Like fuck off.
>>
>>8801251
I am actually interested in it, I just have very little knowledge of it right now because I've only been lurking /cgl/ for a few months.

I'm not exactly looking for dates right now, but I'm not opposed. I just want some more knowledgeable girls to talk about it with, and I have a feeling I won't find many other guys who enjoy discussing pretty dresses with frills on them.

I also do some crossplay, so that would be beneficial to me since I need some makeup practice.
Hopefully I can find something, so far I haven't had a whole lot of luck being in Houston
>>
>dress and shitload of aliexpress orders sitting somewhere in the mail
>yesterday the newspaper didn't arrive
>today only the shitty spam mail carrier seems to have delivered
>tracking says dress is waiting for me in the local post office
>panicking because if the mail isn't being properly delivered, will I get my package slips?
>postal services employ mentally disabled people
>maybe they're hoarding my fucking package slips

I think if I don't get a slip tomorrow I'm going to the post office and kicking down their goddamn door for it if I have to
>>
>>8800919
>bf who has spending money
>bf willing to spend it on Lolita

Top jelly. My bf is a poorfag who can barely afford to invite me to dinner. He doesn't work at the moment (still a student) and seems to be completly happy with having little to no money. No burando gifts for me.
>>
>>8801382
Idk if it works the same way in your country but where I'm from, if the tracking says the item is at the post office you can just go and ask them. They sometimes take a while to post the slip so I often just go ahead and pick up the item without it, Just give them the tracking number.
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>>8801462
thanks anon, I figured it's the case and it's probably fine with this one, but half of my ali items don't seem to have working tracking which is freaking me out even further. I'll go down tomorrow to get it and ask about the paper, by the time I checked today I prob wouldn't have made it
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>6 years ago
>wore lolita as much as I could
>dating this normie guy
>he fucks my mind pretty good
>start to hate myself even more than I did already
>drop lolita, sell all my dresses, all that jazz
>stop going to meetings, ignore lolita friends until they become merely people I knew in the past
>attempt suicide a couple of times until I stop seeing him at all
>today
>randomly clicked on this board while browsing /v/
>see people still having fun with it
>know I can't wear this anymore because I would look ridiculous
>got too fat for lolita or cosplaying
>a bit too old as well
>stopped sewing years ago, still did cosplay comissions after dropped lolita but just quit the scene at some point
>can't lose weight because husband is bbw fetishist and that would end in divorce because he can't get off to anything else
>crippling autism doesn't let me interact with people normally even if I try
>don't have friends anymore

Iit gives me a excruciating feeling of nostalgia seeing all of you having a lot of fun with lolita because I used to feel the same back in the days but I really feel I am not part of this anymore, even if I tried, it would feel forced, I browsed a bit here today, but I guess that's it for me.
>>
I want to attend AM this year because Morning Musume is performing. Having an idol group perform in Texas is almost once in a lifetime. But, alot of people, including my lolita comm, are threatening to cut ties with all people who attend/support/guest AM. I do not support what AM has done but seeing an idol group like Morning Musume will probably never come again, not even in the central states. I'm lost and don't know what to do.
>>
>>8801483
Get a fucking divorce from your fetishist husband, got to therapy and start living your live. You are never too old to enjoy your hobbies (even though the internet and cgl makes it look like everyone who is 30+ is basically a grandma about to die).
Don't punish yourself and be miserable, you deserve better, anon. You deserve a happy life you can enjoy, where oyu can wear the clothes you want, enjoy your hobbies and have control over yourself and your body. There's absolutley no reason to let yourself get treated like shit.

At least start therapy, please. And try getting involved in online comms for cosplay/Loita. Don't throw away your life. You deserve to live it.
>>
>>8801486
Supporting is supporting. People had that excuse for am for years. It is a trap. Also that idol group will come around again. Don't delude yourself into thinking it is now or never.
>>
>>8801494
He's great and supportive so I don't want to divorce him. I am mostly happy about my body but I am afraid of being judged so I don't really want to show myself outside anymore. I don't want to be the center of attention of anything, you see. I got bullied a lot before so I am very introverted and don't do anything driven by my ego because it's pretty much gone by now. I live happily like this usually, but this board reminded me of things that have been dormant.

I think if it wasn't for my husband I wouldn't even be here anymore. After I broke up with my exbf, I lost my grandmother and my parents so life just went to hell. I spent 3 years isolated from everything and everyone and I'm just starting to go outside again. We married recently after 2 years dating and I have been able to do things I haven't done in ages, like going to a job interview, for example.

Sorry for the blog post, thanks for the support, anon.
>>
>>8801514
>doesn't want to show herself outside
>feels unable to lose weight/make own decisions about body because of S.O.
>ego is gone
>got with SO during period of crippling depression

You need to go to therapy, even if you don't want a divorce. Your relationship honestly doesn't sound healthy, and desu, your husband can't be all that supportive if he puts his fucking fetish above your health and happiness.
>>
>>8801519
>and desu
kekd
>>
>>8801519
He doesn't, but I do it because I need his approval. I really don't have nobody else.

I feel like even if I lose weight, I'll still feel inadequate because I always felt a bit like that wearing lolita.
>>
>>8801523
P.s.: My period of depression started when I was 11 and still hasn't ended (have been in and out of therapy for as long as I can remember) so it's not really a matter of "met him when I was depressed", it's more like "life fucked me over too much and he was the only thing worth my time"
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>>8801507
this.

AM is a good manipulator. it's easy to resist someone when they're being blatantly selfish, but your integrity is truly tested when they tap into your own desires. by making you think they are the only ones who can give you something you feel a need for, they tempt you to ignore their abuse of others.

this is classic user/abuser tactics. if the Leighs were twirling their mustaches while monoguing about their evil plans, no one would give them money or power. they are always going to offer something that seems special or exclusive. that's how they get you.

be a stronger person and resist it.
>>
>>8801523
If your husband wants to divorce you because you want to change your body to something healthier and that would no longer fuel his fetish, he doesn't love you.

See a therapist. Find a way to work with these problems. Living for one person who would drop you when you no longer suits his desires is not living to your fullest.
>>
>>8801523
Okay, so would you rather be miserable and wear lolita, or miserable and not wear lolita? I mean this in the best possible way. I also struggle with extreme depression and I never feel good enough, no matter what. So, if you're like me, would you rather wear something and do something you know you like than not do anything? You're going to feel miserable either way, so might as well do something.

Also, I think you should try exercising. That's one of the only things that makes me feel better.
>>
>>8800547
never grow up, anon-chan
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>>8801507
>idol groups will come around again

That's kinda not true, anon. Only two idol groups have been in Texas, Perfume (they don't even count as an idol group anymore) and soon Morning Musume. This happened in a span of two years. AKB48 attend AX back in 2010, NYAF in 2009, and Japan Festival NYC this past year. Morning Musume attended a con in Seattle, a solo concert in NYC last year, and now AM.

In total, only 6 major idol group performances have have happened the US since 2009. Idol groups are hard to bring to the states already and come at the randomest times. They never come to a southern state, only western and eastern coasts. It also doesn't help that most conventions refuse to recognize idol culture or aprove anything to do with idol culture.

It's hard. I don't support what AM did. But anon is right, MM or any idol group will never come back, especially with the reputation AM has given the con scene in Texas.
>>
>>8801569
Just plan to go to an east or west coast con at some point then? I say this in all seriousness, though I know the costs of doing that (I live on the east coast and attend cons in California usually). The out of state con experience is 100% worth it IMO, especially if it means you can avoid supporting AM.
>>
>>8801529
>>8801523
You still need to see a therapist. I am willing to bet you wouldn't want to be with someone like that if you talked to someone, possibly took some meds, and gained back even an ounce of dignity.
There's really no excuse for not taking care of yourself, physically or mentally. Do it for yourself, do it for your future, just fucking do it.
>>
>>8801523
Anon I read your posts and don't let your dreams be dreams.

I am also a fellow /v/ user who recently poked my head into /cgl/ and I've already done a crossplay. Just do what you want to do and have fun with it!
>>
>>8801569
It's the same as any guest. You just need to support a good con and show that there is interest for the group. MM is pretty big so more likely than others.

They have been in the U.S. before. It will happen again.
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>want bf to propose to me
>rlly wanna tell my grandpa I want to get married in the gazebo he built
>wtf are these feels
>>
>>8801569
the only reason MM can come to AM is because the Leighs financially exploited a good friend of theirs, and ran a less profitable business/community icon into the ground. the money to get MM comes from their history of breaking trust and burning bridges.

give your money to responsible people instead of control freaks. seeing an idol group isn't a life or death situation, it's a luxury. if you can't pass up a concert your moral framework is shaky at best.

actions don't occur in a vacuum. choices become habits. in 20 years of making choices like this--to support shady businesses so you can get what you want--what kind of person do you think you will be?
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>>8801599
why not propose to bf?
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>>8801601
This, make sure you think about it first though, some guys would be offended if they were proposed to.

Personally, I would probably start crying. In joy, of course.
>>
>>8801601
anon I did


he said

"go fuck yourself you fucking pleb"

He also said that girls proposing makes him uncomfortable.
>>
>>8800439
Me IRL.
>>
>>8801601
>>8801605
Adding on to this >>8801606
I'm very open with my bf with how I feel and what I want. I've told him that it is 100% my full intention to marry him one day. He says he likes the idea of that.

So occasionally, I joke around and ask him to marry me and send him pictures of the ring I'd buy him. He responds back jokingly.
My bf has a lot of anxiety and pent up issues because of his ex, so I don't mind him taking his time. As long as he lets me vent all my "I-Want-To-Get-Married" feels at him.

I've planned our entire wedding like 4 times already.
>>
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>local con is tomorrow
>panicking not because of my cosplays, but because either one or both of exes will be there.
>One is 10x worse than the other, however it's not guaranteed he'll be there.
>I'm so fucking scared because this guy has ruined my life, but I don't want him to ruin the con for me either.
>>
>Hopefully getting a job I really want next week
>Considering making plans to get a loan for plastic surgery
>Been thinking about this for years but still aren't quite sure if it's a good idea even if it's something I really want to do
>>
>Be me, total lone lolita who barely knows other 4 lolitas irl, no comm in my area
>Decide to work on a christmas coordinate
>National comunity announces a online coord contest
>Decide to enter because why not, already have the outfit planned
>Right after posting got a lot of likes
>Feels so good to be apreciated
>Then start to check the coords posted and read that the one with more votes will win
>Everyone else has comments from their friends and comms, and of course votes from all of them

I don't think I would have posted my cood if I knew it was going to be a popularity contest, I know I cant win, even when, honestly, most of the other coords where "meh". But at least the votes I got came from people who actually liked my coord an was not biased by friendship, so I'm proud of myself and happy anyway.
>>
lololol someone I know bragged about making a corset in four hours and now they are complaining that it's too big and doesn't fit right
this is why you don't rush shit I'm laughing so hard
>>
>>8801541

I'm not really sure I understand the sentiment between not going to a giant convention just because one guy you probably will never meet is a huge creep.

I really doubt the couple of dollars that he'll get after all costs are subtracted from that price of your ticket is worth you missing out on stuff you enjoy.
>>
>>8801615
Be sure before you go rushing things that you want to be married to him, not just that you want a wedding.

It sounds to me, in my expert opinion of reading 2-3 of your posts, that it's more about the wedding to you.
>>
>>8800426
i know the feel, in the past i used a combo of ambien (10mg) and risperdal (5mg), shit knocked me right out. might be something to talk to your doc about.
>>
>>8801979
Actually, I redact what I say here in light of >>8801600.

What is the controversy here? I read something about him harassing women, but is there something deeper here too?
>>
>>8801020
Same here. I'm realizing my best friend of forever doesn't really care about my life when it concerns things I'm struggling with or my achievements (she avoids the topic or simply responds with one word when I mention school/my job). We also aren't interested in the same things. She talks about her *amazing* but conflict ridden relationship, and I had my own phase where I was like that (1st year college when good girls go wild...) so I can't judge, but it seems so trivial and boring to me now (especially when she ignores sound relationship advice from me because she likes this guy too much). I feel like I could even stand it if she showed me she cared for me, but it's been obvious since we met she is self-centered. I feel frustrated.

But in general... I realize I'm becoming such a different person and feel like I need new friends who are more similar to the new me. I love activism and learning and being self-reflexive rather than judgmental, though that last part def needs help (half this post is judging my best friend..). I have so many weird hobbies and want friends who share them, that's easy, but I really want someone similar in convictions and passions to me. I'm sad so many people find what I like tedious and boring.
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>>8802006
how do you know your advice is sound? perhaps she doesn't listen because

1) you seem arrogant
2) maybe you're wrong

what are you going to school for?
>>
>>8801995
yeah, read this: http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/the-con-anime-matsuri-is-growing-and-so-is-the-list-of-people-unhappy-with-it-7764398

read the whole thing. it is a fairly good compilation of what's up.
>>
>>8800957
Just get it! Life is short and it's important to be happy when you can.
>>
>failed to many classes
>want to drop out
>parents say no, afraid I'll never go back to college if I do so
>okay fine maybe I could try this study instead
>parents say no
>tfw I'm 22 but feel like I can't decide this stuff for myself

I feel like a major disappointment already since the study I failed is IT and I feel so inadequate since everyone always gloats on about how IT and related studies are like magical things that will give you a good job and life.
It seems like everything other then IT and the related are "oh don't do this there aren't jobs there" and I just feel so stupid because I failed the one thing that could save me.
>>
>>8802043
one significant thing the article doesn't mention is the false charity the Leighs set up to send relief to Japan following the big earthquake and tsunami. they took money from the cosplay competition (how could a winner protest their winnings being donated to a good cause?), set up donation points around the convention itself, but their supposed charitable organization was never registered with the state of Texas or the federal government. the money just vanished.

they're con artists.
>>
>>8801851
What kind of procedure are you thinking of getting done?
>>
>found out a bunch of friends I used to go to cons with were talking about me behind my back for a long time
>other friends going to cons just stay in game rooms
>no friends to hang out with at conventions
I already got depressed going to conventions anyways, I used to take pictures of everything, last con I went to I got maybe 20 shots from the whole weekend.
>>
>>8802072
Transplanting fat to my breasts, I really want my breasts a bit bigger but I don't want to use silicone.
I know only 20-50% of the fat will stay but I'm willing to take that risk, the scars won't be very big either so that's another plus
>>
>>8802065
Anon, what kind of IT are you looking for?

I work in IT, and I hopefully may able to give you some good advice.

And yes, my job is awesome.
>>
>>8802157
Please make sure you are 100% certain before pulling the trigger, that's a huge lifestyle change and is not something that can be easily reversed.

Pardon me if I seem to be rude, but I am curious as a male. Is having larger breasts really that big of a deal? Especially since there could be complications or losing sensitivity or the ability to breastfeed. I'm sorry if I upset you, that was not my intention
>>
>>8802169
I don't know how to properly translate it, but stop making me feel worse for not having a passion for computers and being shit at it.
>>
>>8802186
I'm sorry!! I did not mean to make you feel worse!!
I'm just curious.

If you don't have a passion for your work, don't force yourself to do it.
I have always enjoyed computers and technology, so it's fun for me.

A lot of IT jobs are nice though, I have an entry level position at a school district and get paid +$40k a year, plus health and legal benefits, paid vacations, company car and such.
Most of the time the work is very very easy too, just general computer troubleshooting.
>>
>>8802179
Diff anon, but yeah breast size is important for some of us. Like it can make you feel really insecure or straight up physically uncomfortable, and to some like that the complications don't matter. Like for me, I'm insecure about my breasts and if I can get the money I would have surgery to fix them irregardless or losing sensitivity or not being able to breastfeed (I never really wanted to have biological children anyway so...).
>>
I've been wearing Lolita for about 5 years, but I'm getting sick of the rigidity of the fashion. I love the clothes, I love most of the style, but I feel like innovation within reason is hugely discouraged and everyone relies too much on the brands to develop the fashion for them. Popular opinions are really crazy, too, someone might get shredded for wearing two different shades of pink or not enough petri or if their hair isn't wig-neat, while people are wandering around with skewers on their heads being called trendy.
I don't want to cut myself off from the community, but I want to start wearing the fashion the way I feel is fun. I'm just worried that people would call me an ita for under accessorising, wearing stuff in a non-Lolita way, etc.
I just think that apart from some very slow changes and occasional trends that pop up, the fashion is stuck in a vacuum.
>>
>>8802212
>not enough petti
Why does autocorrect feel the need
>>
>>8802197
It's okay, you didn't mean to.

Either way my biggest issue is that I'm not very adventurous or willing to try things out. Like I might be interested in learning some stuff and I don't dislike computers or thing nothing is interesting, but you won't find me tinkering at my computer for hours on end.

Not to mention I have this really awkward and weird anxiety when it comes to how computers work and downloading things. I guess it stems from my parents trying to be strict about how to avoid getting a computer filled with viruses and not having all your personal information out there, but my autistic brain (another reason people told me to get into IT) turned this into a still lingering sense of anxiety whenever I do anything on a computer your average person wouldn't do. I mean I don't even know how to get an emulator to work.
It sucks because I DO have some curiosity regarding computers and I like the idea of coding even if I have issues really grasping it, but this stupid anxiety just makes it so hard for me to fully get into it all.

As for the failed classes it has to do with general anxiety, stress and motivation issues and the fact my course decided to change things this year. The changes basically made it so that there's zero structure to it regarding classes, assignments, etc, and it's kind of a dead sentence for someone like me who's autistic.

Sorry for the massive wall of text, it's been bottling up for a while.
>>
>>8802179
It's okay, you're not rude at all for asking imo. But as the other anon said, for some of us it's pretty important. I used to have larger breasts but they suddenly shrunk and I've been really insecure about them since then...

And again, I don't really care too much about the complications. One of the reasons bring that I don't plan to have kids, I'm not very mentally stable and I don't want to have a child have to suffer for it so I'd rather pour that selfishness on superficial things for myself
>>
>>8802227
Okay parts of this barely made sense (don't browse 4chan on your phone at 3am) but I hope you get the gist of it.
>>
>>8802065
The thing is, there is no magic field to study in. It is all shit. It is all hard to get a job in that field after school. IT is no different, just that people think it is because we all use computers. Stop wasting your time on lies and study something you are interest in. Or drop out. Your parents cant stop you, you are an adult. Get a job, stop depending on your parents for everything and start living.

The chance that you will get a job in the field you study is slim. So dont expect that to be what decides your actual job prospects.
>>
>>8802212
Anon you should try out otome. It's much looser than Lolita, and while not all Lolita dresses work for otome, there's a definite overlap. Check out the thread and even look at the threads in the archives if you haven't already. I started adding more otome to my wardrobe when I felt that Lolita was too strict, and I mix and match a lot of the pieces and enjoy wearing them so much more. Hope that's a bit of help.
>>
>>8802212
I feel this so much, however I think that if you don't try to post in online communities most of the Lolita community will not scrutinize you. Yet it would be nice to not have to worry at all.
>>
>>8802217
I took some IT classes as well, and to be honest they barely taught me anything. I have always had an affinity for technology, I even have a keyboard in my lap for my first baby portrait.
I think it's an interesting, fun and challening career path, but don't force yourself into it. Do what you like to do, and if you like doing it, you'll get better at it. Once you're good, then the money will come easily. I know this is easier said then done, but so many people are forced into working a job they absolutely dread, don't be like them. Enjoy your work.

Thank you for sharing!

>>8802207
>>8802227
>>8802230
Thank you, I enjoyed your input. As I said earlier in this post, do what you like to do, and be comfortable in your own body. I was just curious, as I feel like every girl I've really gotten to know has always had breast envy of some sort (one had huge breasts that caused her pain and wanted to be smaller, and one was nearly flat and wanted her size to be tripled), I feel like it's just a grass is greener kind of thing.

If you were to ask me, boobs don't really mean much to me. I mean, yeah I like boobs as much as most other people, but it's not that important to me. Personally, I like smaller breasts, they seem cuter to me and more flexible fashion wise.

>>8802232
Good advice here. Although I must say that at least in the Houston area, there are a ton of IT positions available. That's just one city though.
>>
>>8802232
Oh I know there isn't a magic field it's just that I can't help but feel bad wherever I see people gloat about how easy and great IT is and shit like that when I failed it, that's all.
>>
>>8802212
>>8802234
>>8802237
Kek. So many itas here. Go cry a river.
>>
>>8802212
I feel like some of this is from being on cgl too much. It pushes you into a mindset of what lolita 'is' when it is only a vocal minority of nitpicking and bitching. The less you care about being called an ita and what is a 'popular opinion' the less you will feel that it is rigid.

Do whatever you want regardless of if it is trendy and dont make the fashion into a competition when it does not need to be. Stop comparing yourself to others and dont hold a lot of stock in someone's opinion on the internet about something that makes you happy.
>>
>>8802242
They are lying to you. It is easy to make something look easy to someone who doesnt see the shit of the job. Probably your autism is taking things too literally but it is like everything else, there is good things and bad things. Regardless if you arent good at it and you only went for it because you thought oh that is what people say autists should do..it will never be what you actually want.
>>
>>8802244
I'm pretty sure you just proved their point
>>
>>8802256
I know, I'm self aware enough though I"m also aware I'm easily tricked by those things.

But yeah "you're an autist" was one of my two reasons for picking it. The other one was that IT was the only one that seemed a bit interesting and nothing else did.

So now I have no idea what to do other then just live the everyday until I figure it out.
>>
>>8802257
Go back to Tumblr
>>
>>8802262
I love to see a medium between a hug box where nothing is criticized and being overly critical. I will say that most of the lolitas on this board are good at hitting that medium which is helpful for self improvement.
>>
>>8802217
Programming will be over saturated in a few years. Get your A+ and Net+ and you'll be set.
>>
Ok so ill be straight, where do i meet a seagull irl? I love lolita fashion, and lovethe effort you girls put into it but i cant really get "into" it since i am a rather large "manly" looking guy,so my best hope is to get a lolita gf to live my dreams for me/fuck desu.

That being said i am considered a decent "catch" i guess and get hounded by normie women all the time but i really have no interest in them. I run a fairly successful security company and just want my lolita dream to be a reality even if it means just being a sugar daddy.

So how do i go about doing that? I havent been to a convention ever in my life but i know ill seem like a creep just approaching a lolita like i would a "regular" woman. What can i do??

Im not trolling these are my feels
>>
>>8802274
>normie
I wouldn't worry about it
>>
>>8802274
Oh im 24 years old just incase it seemed like im some old man trying to fuck lolitas
>>
>>8802274
At conventions. You won't necessarily meet a seagull unless you go to a /cgl/ meet or something, but you'll find lolitas. Maybe go to a lolita panel or something. I think courting lolitas is a lot harder than non-lolitas because lolitas are always so on edge with men (creepers, so many creepers). But if you're genuinely interested in the fashion, just talk to them like any other women.
>>
>>8802241
Why do men feel the need to weigh in on how they feel about breasts? The way you as an individual sexualize the fat on a woman's body has literally nothing to do with some anon's desire to get an augmentation. No one cares your personal titty preferences. Just saying "thanks for the input, you do you" is enough.
>>
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>have tumblr forever
>one popular post (25kish) that isn't jfash, 120ish followers
>go through and clean up content and only do jfash now
>queue up 1 OC everyday, only reblog 1-2 things a day
>0-4 notes
My OC isn't all intricate photoshoots, mostly outfit shots taken with my phone and tripod. I would get why people wouldn't want to reblog them but pls
I want to post my small wardrobe+detail shots for my jan wardrobe post, but I'd be too embarrassed to link it to anyone because my blog is just a ton of photos of me with no notes.
>inb4 tumblr is shit
Tell me about it
>>
>>8802315
you do realize that the reason large breasts are popular in society is due to men right? the self esteem issues behind it have to do with wanting to be attractive. i hope you're a troll.
>>
>>8802242
Hey, anon, I'm not trying to brag in saying this, but I'm someone who has always been called smart and always done well in school in basically every subject EXCEPT trying to learn IT stuff. For some of us, it just doesn't click, and that's totally okay. It doesn't make you a failure, it just means you'll either have to try extra hard to understand it and make it work or, probably more rewarding, try to find something you enjoy and excel at. I felt the same way, like "this is supposed to be so easy, am I just dumb?", but that's seriously not the case, for me or for you.
>>
>>8802318
Fucking duh. That's not a mystery, we fucking know the reason why girls feel bad about smaller breasts is because men have sexualized bigger breasts to such an extreme. We don't need every single dude to chime in with "if you ask me" followed by their stupid opinions. Like some dude saying he prefers small breasts is going to magically rid an anon of an insecurity she's felt for years. It's pointless and grating, and I'm personally tired of dudes framing conversations about a woman's thoughts on her own body around what they (the dudes) see as attractive.
>>
>>8802315
This like those "why do white straight cis males think they can have an opinion on anything" logic that retards spew. Please chill, the male-anon was polite and had good input so stop being so goddamn salty.
>>
>>8802324
No it's okay that actually makes me feel a bit better. I've always been seen as the smart one in the family so ever since a few years ago when my crippling anxiety and motivation problems started my self-esteem has dropped to zero, since I always saw it as the one redeeming factor of myself.

It's been though to really grasp that I'll never be good at everything, or even the things I really want.

I just really have no idea what to do now, and going straight into a job simply isn't an option for me.
>>
>>8802329
oh you're a troll, sorry.
>>
>>8802332
I admit I am salty, but I still maintain its stupid to argue that a woman shouldn't feel pressured by society's catering to the male obsession with tits by adding their own thoughts on tits as an argument. Encourage a woman to feel good about her body without framing it around your own sexual interests (which is a root of the problem in the first place), is all I'm saying. I'll salt my way out of this thread.
>>
>>8802337
I totally understand that feeling of accepting that there will just be some things you'll be worse at. It sucks. I wish you luck, anon. Don't beat yourself up, and keep trying! You'll find a solution!
>>
>>8802340
anon that's stupid. in a certain sense, sexualization isn't a bad thing and it isn't going to change quickly anyways. personally it's actually nice to remember not all guys want giant fatsacks.

if you're saying she'd care more about him telling her that tits don't matter ~personality~ is important, you're just ignoring her problem, which, while stemming from something you don't agree in, is infact about male attraction to breasts.
>>
>>8802347
Thanks anon! To be honest lately I've been humoring the idea of maybe working with others that have autism, or even going into psychology since it has helped me a lot. I know it sounds weird but in a way I'd like to become a psychologist with a specialty in working with high functioning autism, even though I have aspergers myself.
>>
>>8800083
I always have nightmares like that the night before the con, it's shitty because they feel so real and I wake up terrified like "OH NO, everything that could possibly go wrong did!!" and then I realize it's like 4 am and not time for the con yet.
>>
>>8802360
I agree that a healthy amount of sexualization is fine, but that's not what we find in most of the world today. I guess if you base your self-worth around that, I can see why a stranger's preferences would make you feel better about your body. But I never argued that he should compliment her personality or anything else for that matter, so stop putting words in my mouth. If the problem is feeling insecure about her body due to hypersexualization of certain features, I don't think saying "well some people like what you've got!" is the best solution. I think she ought to figure out the root of her problem and try to overcome it. And I know changes like this happen slowly, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't push for them. I may have been a bit rude in my first reply to the male anon, but again, widening the parameters of sexualizing a woman's body shouldn't be the solution, and I dont think it's wrong to ask men trying to understand female insecurities to think a little harder before blurring out their own preferences as though female insecurities aren't already shaped by the fact that we're bombarded with those preferences daily. We can agree to disagree, I suppose.
>>
>>8802369
And I'm saying this as someone who also used to have serious hang ups about having smaller breasts to the point that I was saving up for an augmentation until I learned that I'd rather accept my body and love it for what it is than live up to some arbitrary beauty standard. I encourage other women to try to do the same if their desire to change their bodies is rooted in wanting to be more attractive for the opposite sex, and I encourage men to be more sensitive and recognize that not everything has to include their own desires.
>>
>>8802248
it's social media in general. even in the nonlolita world, subcultures and innovation have been reduced.
>>
> that feel when feel threads always turn to shit
>>
I'm seriously considering trying both a punk lolita coord and a decololi look for the next con I go to, and I know that no matter how hard I try to be true to the styles that I might fuck them up a bit, but I'm still so excited to experiment a little and get outside of my classic comfort zone.
>>
>>8802388
do it anon
do it
make it happen
make your dreams become your life
>>
>>8802374
Didn't think my post would spur so much debate. I wasn't purely stating my preference due to my own sexual interests, but more to say that everyone has a different opinion to what they think "beauty" is. People come in different shapes and flavors and there's nothing wrong with being different than the perfect image that everyone seems to strive for.


I used to have similar insecurities when I was younger. I have a sizable mole on my cheek, and I felt like something was wrong with me since a few of the kids had questioned me about it. It made me feel ugly and different, and I wished I never had it and planned on getting it removed. Years later, a girl ended up telling me that she thought it was cute and it totally took me by surprise. I had always felt ashamed of it and suddenly I realized that I didn't have something wrong with me and that some people actually liked it, and I became so much more comfortable with myself.

Now, I'm glad I didn't have it removed and it's something unique that I have that most don't.
>>
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>>8801592
>>8801562
>>8801584

I appreciate immensely the support and I am starting to take care of how I look these days. I'm trying to get a nice and practical hairstyle (my hair is really long and I want to get it cut and dyed) and I want to build a new wardrobe. I am learning how to take care of myself all over again.
I am mostly afraid of being posted at places. Years ago I was a bit chubby but not too much (let's say, I was like that woman you guys keep posting *forgot her name* but I wore low-key outfits like classical and gothic) and some people bullied me online (posted pics, made vendetta) at the local comm, even though I only really talked to 2 people in the meetings. I moved so I am not really known anymore but I am afraid of going to meetings and suddently being bullied like I was. I don't have an ugly face but I am really fat (137kg 173cm), I am fine with it myself since I can do everything normally but I am afraid of people bullying me for wearing lolita.
I'll do my best to start wearing lolita again, I'm sure I'll enjoy it but people are very mean sometimes. One thing is for sure though, I don't see myself joining the local lolita scene.
>>
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>tfw the splash art and ingame model for your next cosplay are completely different
And I'm not talking about simplification for the model, that would make sense, but no, the headpiece is missing its entire middle section, the entire outfit is a slightly different color tint, the details on the gloves are windy instead of organic-spiky, she's wearing EARRINGS THAT ARE NOT IN THE SPLASH, and she has a fucking longass tassel waistband that is also, guess what, not in the splash.

Of course, the splash doesn't show her shoes or the back of her costume, so I have to depend on the model for some things, but jesus fuck, I feel like I can't trust anything from it anymore. I might end up freeforming it a little bit, which I'm scared of since this costume is already going to be so hard.
>feels so fucking bad
>>
>>8802743
Fire Emblem?
>>
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tfw you want to fall in love so badly and go on dates with a boyfriend, perhaps even girlfriend but you haven't met anyone even remotely crush worthy. i go to cons and meets and everyone just comes off as a loser, anyone slightly attractive is already taken. im close to graduating from college and it makes me feel as if my odds of meeting the one are declining more and more. i've even lowered my expectations but still nothing
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>>8802785
>are you me
Though today held a convo with a pretty cute cashier at the CVS. He liked my IW coat. Oh well, good bye forever.
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>>8802785
iktf
>inb4 don't be so picky
I wasted 5 years of my life on a loser who only had a gf to say he did and devoted his full attention to WoW, I can be as picky as I damn well please

But it seems anyone remotely worth my time has a gf and I'm only left with fuckboys and autistic manchildren. My best friend has a classy bf who brings her flowers and takes her on romantic dates and they go on holidays together and take fancy pictures. I'm super happy for her but I just can't seem to get anyone half as good.
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>>8802256
This, I had a classmate who'd read and study like mad at home and then come to school going all 'I didn't study anything last week LOL I'M SO GONNA FAIL' and of course she got the top grade every. single. time.

Some people are just so insecure that they get sexual pleasure from doing this kind of shite like. Usually fat mingers who have nothing else going for them.
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>>8802801
Why didn't you give him your number anon? I'd go back if I were you

>>8802824
I'm so sorry about that anon, I guess you're right, i should stay as picky as I am as well, perhaps once I move I'll meet someone. A lot of my friends in relationships are dating really sad looking dudes with bad life decisions, I honestly wonder if they have self esteem issues or what, then again it's probably just the area where I live
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>tfw you forget for a moment what a disgustingly horrible person you are
>tfw any moment you try to be happy or positive or do good things for yourself you remember how much people hate you
>tfw you should be in bed or doing something productive but you're too depressed and full of self-loathing to move
>tfw you are scum and you don't deserve to be happy
>tfw please kill me
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>>8802852
CVS anon again. I might. I guess I kinda wanted to hear that. I'm just kinda inexperienced and wasn't sure if that was a real thing people did casually
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>>8802856
I love you, anon. Exactly as you are.
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>>8801474
update: I got it and it's perfect and the seller added in a fucking adorable wig. I am a small mess of happiness today
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>>8802862
Do ittt! I'm totally rooting for you anon! Keep us updated once you do, I'll be looking through these threads. Trust me its more common than you think, good luck!
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>>8802856
Suicide
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>>8802743
Try and find as much official art of the character you can and see if anyone has mentioned the inconsistencies online which could possibly give you clearer info. Looking at already existing cosplays could help you get an idea on what works and what doesn't. I would probably go with the splash depending on the character but the things like earrings make it seem quite strange. Who is it?
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I'm getting sick of some of my friends being so up the ass about being Atheist that the moment any subject that has an even slight relation to religion that it'll instantly devolve into a discussion on how all religion is bad, people who believe are stupid and this really annoying sense of superiority because "I'm smart so I don't believe!"

Don't get me wrong I don't subscribe to any believe myself (though I wouldn't call myself an atheist either) but this horrid smugness they tend to display when talking about religion is just annoying as fuck.
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>almost finished with costume for next week's con, right before Christmas
>Leave with BF for holidays with his senpai
>Get home
>Can't fit into costume, entire thing fits wonky

why
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>>8802360
Your argument consists of "his opinion is important because if one guy likes little tits, she won't feel bad anymore!" Why does one self-important guy's opinion matter when there are tens of thousands of other men shoving the fact that huge tits are best down her throat and she just wants to vent about her feelings about it? A single male opinion isn't a magic wand to make insecure anons feel better, and frankly if his point was to try to make her feel better he shouldn't have made the whole post about his own personal sexual preferences. Even "lots of people prefer small chests, try not to beat yourself up over it" would be way better than the constant precious male opinions we always get around here.
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>>8802317
That isnt a lot of followers though. Your best shot at notes is to utilize tags properly. Know what average folk search the most and make those tags your first 5.
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>>8802317
i posted my first selfie to tumblr, got no notes, had an identity crisis, and am willing myself not to delete it

any time i post anything that gets 0 response, i want to delete it. i can talk to myself on 4chan no problem, but if i am somewhere else where people impulsively hit "like" or on a discussion board you log into... my habit is to delete what no one cares about.
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>>8802785
This is going to sound weird but stop looking. Everyone I've ever known to find their husband or wife became satisfied with themselves and being single, then suddenly the right person just shows up. I think it's being okay with your situation instead of mopey and sad that attracts other single people. Two desperate, lonely people together never ends well.
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>>8802363
that doesn't sound weird at all, it sounds like a great idea!! and since it's something you have actual real life experience in i'm sure you'd be really good at it!! a lot of psychologists go into the field after struggling through their own mental health problems, actually, and i think it's an awesome idea to use your autism as a tool to help others that way too
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>>8802578
Then say that without making it about yourself. Even telling your story about insecurity is better than "well I like small tits so you know~"
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>>8802896
Thanks, friend, I'm already planning on it.

Good to know that /cgl/ hasn't changed at all.
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>>8802179
It's basically a direct parallel to dick size. The long and short of it is that the size ultimately doesn't matter, but some people are self conscious one way or the other, and there are some shallow people who actually do judge others based upon it.
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>>8802369
>hypersexualizing
>widening the parameters of sexualization

Anonymous, breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic and a point of sexual selection for essentially every culture since the dawn of time.

I'm not sure why you're acting like this is some new, patriarchal thing.
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>>8802856
Fishing for compliments on /cgl/ won't make you feel any better about yourself.
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>>8803041
Honestly, anonymous, his comment is pretty innocuous. It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder about all this, and you shouldn't really be swinging about with all this "How dare he voice an opinion nobody asked for that is only tangentially related," when that's exactly what you're doing with this little rant of yours.
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>>8803281
Elbows are secondary sexual characteristics, but I don't often see that fetishisized in porn. I think Americans do hypersexualize breasts in a way that Europeans, for example, don't. I can understand finding them attractive, but I don't agree with them being labelled as sexual since that causes people to then forget their primary function (e.g. breastfeeding).
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>buy cheap coat from bst thread with Christmas money, It accidentally gets shipped to my old address
>Not an issue, stop by to grab package, find some mail for myself
>... Including a hospital bill for almost $400 dollars from a few months ago. Apparently also overdue despite this being the first bill I ever received of this.
>Have no insurance (lost it this past Halloween, same for my now ex-bf who dumped me at Youma after I had a panic attack about something completely unrelated) and haven't been able to hold a job for the past three years due to severe anxiety and clinical depression that I can't afford to treat.
>Just got signed up for Medicaid, also getting sent some financial forms by the hospital

Hopefully, I might be getting a job at the same place my roommates work, but for now I'm just hoping I can get back on my medication soon.
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>>8802856
What did you do to make people hate you?
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>>8803300
No, anonymous, elbows are not secondary sexual characteristics. Some people find them attractive, but they are not sexual secondary characteristics at large. Breasts are, because they are linked directly with child rearing, and ate therefore an indicator of potential success in breeding. This is the case in basically every culture.

You're naive if you think breasts aren't sexualized in Europe. Perhaps you are mistaking the European ease when it comes to nudity with a lack of sexualization, but the difference there has nothing to do with what people find attractive and has to do with America's Puritan upbringing which considers sexuality and nudity "dirty" or "shameful"
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There's about 3 weeks until a con, and I have so much shit to do.

It doesn't help that my roommate is getting his wisdom teeth removed today and is going to be out of commission for at least a week. I won't even be able to leave the house to get the shit I need for two of our cosplays because he can't be left alone.

Hopefully it'll all go well.
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>>8802865
Didn't see this, thank you.

>>8803284
I don't see how I'm fishing for compliments by posting in a feels thread, but okay.

>>8803304
Made bad decisions as a teenager and have an untreated personality disorder. I'm a generally awful person and I'm just going to stop talking about myself now.
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>>8803316
> http://www.scopemed.org/?mno=38057#abstract
> http://www.scopemed.org/?mno=206880
No, elbows are secondary sexual characteristics. Female arms are designed to cradle children during breastfeeding. The more you know. The hypersexualisation of breast is social phenomenon. Like I said before, I'm fine with people finding breasts attractive. They're round, they're nice to look at. But finding something attractive is different from treating it as a purely sexual object, which is the case with American media. People compare breasts to dicks, but they are not comparable because one is a primary sexual characteristic while the other one isn't. There is a world of a difference between the two.

For example, I do agree that Americans consider sexuality as something shameful. However, do they consider beards to be something to hide? No, but beards are secondary sexual characteristics. So why the double standards with the breasts? Well, because breasts are so oversexualized they're seen on par with primary sexual characteristics. I don't think that's fair.
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>>8803353
oh, you're that girl. you don't have a personality disorder, you're just a spoiled brat using mental illness to justify your behaviour. what you need is a job and a smack in the face.
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>>8802340
It would've been fine if anon who complimented her was a girl. Stop being a bitch.
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>>8803465
Can you please tell me who you think I am?
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>>8802877
Welp. Looks like I'm going back today to get some dip and discount candy canes
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>>8803353

>untreated

Diagnosed at least?
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>>8803070
This doesn't sound weird at all anon, even though I posted what I did I agree with you. I don't actively look but I hope to run into someone, but still I should just layoff
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Fucking Christ. Can't we have ONE feels thread and actually keep it at least semi /cgl/ related rather than turning it into a Tumblr bawfest?

I'm not trying to be salty but get yourselves together people. This isn't your hugbox.
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>>8803501
Diagnosed, yes. Untreated because muh social anxiety.

>>8803465
Still waiting, anon. Especially seeing as I have a job and I've never tried to justify my behavior, in fact I do my best to recognize my shit character and try to fix it when people tell me what I've done is wrong.
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>have no money, every dream dress in the world is on sale for a reasonable price
>have money, lolita sales are barren

every damn time.
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>>8803470
A girl wouldn't have made such a stupid ass "as a girl" comment in the first place. Fuck off, twat.
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>>8801751
Get your friends and travel in a pack
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>Make all of bf and I's cosplays
>Buy it all, craft it all, ect
>He gets a good paying job
>Now buys me cosplays that pop up for sale cheap sometimes
>tfw
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>Finally have money for beautiful moitié dresses
>Finally seeing the Gazette in concert this year
>Finally going to cons regularly, and will finally attend my first out of state con to hang out with friends

T-this is everything that I wanted years ago and it's finally reality.
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>>8803720
congrats anon, i am almost at your level
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>>8803465
>>8803472

they probably think that you're me, bc i posted about my personality disorder (which i am CURRENTLY in treatment for, which was something else i mentioned in my posts) last thread. also i have a job. but i believe that whole controversy was part of the reason the thread got deleted for being OT so i digress. i do hope you seek help, pd-anon, i've been in treatment for about a year and while i still have a ways to go it really has improved my life so much. please don't kill yourself, things can get better if you let them.

so as not to derail the thread even further, my own cgl-related feels:
>entering a costume competition for the very first time this weekend
>very small con and i worked super hard on my cosplay and i think it's somewhat impressive so hopefully i have a decent chance
>even if i don't win it'll be good to get the experience
>but it'd be really nice to win
wish me luck, gulls.
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>>8803048
Yeah, I feel like I should have more followers because so many people see that post, but I think it's because it's just some ~pale aesthetic~ photo and my blog isn't pale at all.
>>8803066
iktf

Social media is kind of a struggle. I'm not really looking for asspats, but at the same time, getting no notes is embarrassing as fuck. I want to be an inspiration for other lolitas like my inspirations are to me, but I also don't want to look like an attention whore.
I'm hoping if I just keep posting my stuff and tagging it appropriately, I'll get some luck, but for now it's just really painfully slow.
That's why I like CoF, they show the shit right beside the gold, and everything in between. I feel like on tumblr, even people like fetsu can get thousands of notes on a photo of their ceiling because they just managed to get their foot in the door.
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>>8802317
>take picture of joke cosplay
>8 thousand notes
>take picture of cosplays I think were cool
>under 10 notes
I just take hallshots, but still
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>>8802778
Not Fire Emblem, it's League.

>>8802928
This is a good idea, but the skin isn't even out yet (I've been playing this champ for a while), so I don't really have any comparison points yet. I like the splash better, but it's frustrating since I can't see the back or shoes (this is the only art).
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>>8801541
You sound crazy
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>>8802186
Why are you even here, freakazoid? They weren't rude at all. Also, you're on 4chan.
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>>8803765
Follows don't really come with notes. I have 3 posts on my main blog with over 100k notes and a couple more posts in the thousands but not really that many followers. Posts that get popular are just ones that are easily consumable, not ones that make a person stop and think "wow I love this content and want more"
My pandering fandom blog though, 20k followers.
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>dress from my wishlist up on LM
>the auction starts at a reasonable price
>the BIN price is insanely high, so it would make more sense to bid on it and hope for the best
>mfw the auction length was set to 4 weeks
>still several weeks to go

This is suffering, Why would you make your auctions go on for 4 weeks?!
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>>8803816
Same bruh. I got won 4000+ followers from doing fandom comics but when I went back to usual the influx stopped.
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>>8803850
Because they want someone to get irritated and buy it now for the ridiculous price.
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>>8803539

Are you really claiming that girls are incapable of making shallow, self centered or otherwise poorly thought out statements, just because they're girls?
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>>8803850
Just suck it up and BIN.

It's your dream dress, follow your dreams and don't let someone else buy it from you.
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>>8803873
>>8803887
It's on my wishlisht, so not dream dress status. The BIN price is almost $100 about the price the dress usually goes for.

I guess I'll just wait the remaining weeks and maybe look out for stuff to coord it with.
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>>8803539

That's quite enough of the generalization koolaid now child.
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>>8803880
Dudes always pull this "as a guy" shit on this board and it's so useless. No one cares. Go be a special manly snowflake somewhere else.
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>>8803903

It's like you've never been to a board where the genders are flipped girls are trying to attention whore their own posts.
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>>8803909
Both are unacceptable! is it that hard to understand! If you do this crap you're a self centered attention whore regardless of your gender and you need to stop
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>>8803915

I have no idea if that was the same anon, but there was an anon above generalizing that only men do this shit and girls are all genetically too smart to do that sort of thing.

Having seen the scum of humanity, damn they are so. so. wrong.
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>>8803917
specifically on this board only men do it
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>>8803925

Whatever you say.
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>>8803925
or women who try to pass as men
or people who say whatever the fuck they want
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>>8803933
why are you so offended
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>>8803934
it's well past 2 am here and I have nothing to do nor can I sleep
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>tfw too scared to try anything

I'm too scared to try sewing or styling my own wigs or making my own stuff because it's gonna be terrible since it's my first time and because of that I might end up here so I'd think "if I don't try then I don't fail". This is probably an awful mindset to have but I can't break out of it. I get that people have to make mistakes to get to where they are but I can't bring myself to make any mistake at ALL, or allow myself to fail at anything.
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>>8803949
don't worry you already on 4chan that means you failed at more than one thing. One more doesn't really make it that worse so try whatever you want and have fun
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>>8803949
Isn't that just a failure of its own: a failure to act?

Just try something that has no real consequences of failure. Call it "practice".

Don't go into it expecting to fail, but know that it might be an outcome, and even if it is an outcome, it won't actually hurt anything.

More importantly, I don't want to ever hear you use such a shitty excuse again. Sure, you might feel afraid, but fear stands in our way so that by climbing over it, we grow taller.

It's fine to be afraid, but if you say "I can't, BECAUSE", you are giving in to the fear. It's no longer an obstacle, you are now treating it as a Fact, as something you have to deal with.

Don't ever say "I'm too afraid to do this". To say so is to give up the bout. Don't listen to Tumblr and the like who tell you it's alright to be scared. They go too far, they don't realize the second half of that, the promise of losing the fear. They hold onto the fear and never confront it, because then they have a reason for failure, they have something to blame.

Why do you think all of these cases of "anxiety" are suddenly appearing? If they can get a doctor to tell them they're alright to be stagnant with fear, they jump for the chance to shove their reasons for failure into a condition.

Do not be afraid to fear. Fear is a promise of overcoming. I don't want you to say "I'm too afraid to do it."

I want you to say "I'm afraid, but I'm still going to try."
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>>8803980
>Why do you think all of these cases of "anxiety" are suddenly appearing?

Is that to say anxiety doesn't exist?
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>>8803997
I'm pretty sure she is saying that it's culturally acceptable to remain in fear in your entire life. Which isn't a good thing.
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>>8804005
>she

Still, that makes sense. Is it about a balance? Like, it's okay to be anxious about stuff, it's okay to feel that but you shouldn't let it control your life? Or would it be more ideal to never be anxious about anything?
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>>8803793
The one on the right? I'm not familiar with League but there may be more scenarios like this where the art is different to the model so you could see what other people are choosing between with their cosplays. People might lean towards the ingame model as that's their actual appearance so it's more recognisable.
I assume they hire people to do the splash art and the artist has changed some things to add some sex appeal or to just make it more aesthetically pleasing. The headdress and the bottom of the actual dress are completely different. And of course the skin.
I would suggest to just choose which one you like more.
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>>8803997
>If they can get a doctor to tell them they're alright to be stagnant with fear, they jump for the chance to shove their reasons for failure into a condition.
Are you illiterate or do you just jump on any chance you get to go off on someone? What they're saying is everyone's telling each other that it's okay to have anxiety when it clearly isn't. If everyone treated me with kiddie gloves like that I never would have gotten better with my own anxiety disorder.

>>8803949
Just suck it up, buy dollar store wigs and practice, or get out of the hobby. You're never going to get anywhere in life if you're afraid to get your feet wet.
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>>8804007
if you are at a point where you never anxious about anything you either live the most boring life ever or you have problems.
It's just that if you feel anxious that should encourage you to make plans how not to fail and then ACT.
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>>8803949
post to progress threads. gulls might seem harsh but they truly love seeing people improve. you might get blasted at first, but if you keep updating you will be recognized as someone working hard and people will shout down anyone who brings you unnecessary salt.
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>>8801994
Unfortunately most of my anxiety comes from health anxiety. I turn down medication by the load solely due to the long list of side effects. It scares me.

>>8803949
Just don't post pictures and post them online, anon. Only post when you feel confident enough, how about that? Some fabric stores have sewing clubs, maybe you could look around? Please don't feel too scared to do what you might love and enjoy.
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I have become the laughing stock of my comm, gulls. I'm never going to another meet again.
Stupid me went to a meet when I had bad indigestion. I farted at a tea party, anons. I farted loud.
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>>8804150
did you shit yourself?
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>>8804157
Fortunately, no.
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>>8804009
Yes, it is the right one.

I'm probably gonna end up closer to the splash; I prefer the gun on it dramatically, the organic-alien-esque details appeal to me more than the windy ones, and I like purple as a color. But there's stuff on the model I like too, like the wrap-around snake. Maybe I'll just end up with a weird combination of both. I'm just frustrated that they're so different.

People do tend to go with the splash art over the model most of the time; you see the models from pretty far off, so the details often get lost, and also there's limitations for how high-poly things can get. You do see splash art a lot as well (loading screen for every game).

I guess the real answer is to stop thinking about it so much and just do it.
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>>8804150
If anybody says anything, reply with, "And you've never farted or something, princess?"
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>>8803949
I feel similarly; I'm about to embark on my first serious prop of my cosplay career. (This is >>8802743 , >>8803793 , and >>8804184 again, just to give an idea of what I'm up against.)

The best advice I have is to plan (kind of like what I'm doing right now, but less angrily). Look at tutorials, find every resource you can, look at their end results. Break costumes down into their smallest pieces, and think about those pieces one at a time. (I'm even breaking the gun down into small pieces, because that's what's intimidating me most. Item #1 for me is the glowy core; do I want to 3D print it, or would that not be worth the hassle? What kind of hassle would go into 3D printing it? Is there a paint/gloss available to give that ethereal effect if I decide not to print it?) Keep a notebook where you write down what you like and what you don't like, what you think would be a good idea and what you're not sure about. Ask people, if some are available. You will never be completely insulated from failure, but things that are scary seem much more approachable when you think about them in smaller steps, and doing so will help you turn out a better product, even if it's your first time.

If sewing and wigs are what intimidates you and you're willing to talk to a stranger, I'm available. I get that /cgl/ can be scary sometimes for asking questions, and I've mentored a bunch of my friends to improve/develop their sewing skills. I put my email in my name, but no pressure.
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>>8804161
Go to another meet and fart extra loud to show dominance
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>>8802012
different anon, but you sound like you're projecting your insecurities. Getting a degree doesn't make you arrogant. Her friends sound like they never stopped being 16, which is insanely frustrating as adults.
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>>8803331
>wisdom teeth
>can't be left alone
what the hell anon? You will be able to leave him alone after, like, day one. I had my wisdom teeth out and had to have my gums cut open and it was only under local, but I was fine to fend for myself despite a low pain tolerance and slow healing (had to go back for more stitches after the first ones dissolved).
>>
I've just joined my local comm and I'm terrified. I don't have many blouses and I'm plus sized. I feel like everything I have worn so far is a little lacking in coherency but I'm really trying.

I bought a wig and headbow set and the comm leader asked me if it was really a headbow, because people use the pinned bows as one, and I felt really awkward because it was the set, but then I noticed that the bow was sitting awkwardly and I just -- ugh.

I got a dream dress (a sort of re-release of one of the first dresses that got me into lolita) and it fits me, but I don't have the shoes I want and I'm too frugal to want to spend tons of money.

Add onto that that none of the bodyline stuff I ordered really fit me and I think I'm deluding myself into losing weight because depression (clinically diagnosed from 9 years old, been on five different meds that changed nothing) and overall shitty joints and a back problem make being motivated enough to exercise hard.

I don't even eat like shit. I get so angry when my friends order junk food or have gross dinners because I sit here, cook, make everything from scratch and I'm still fucking fat.

>SIGH

Add in old drama that originally made me leave the cosplay/lolita scene and I'm basically a huge mess of anxiety.
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>>8802179
Autologous fat transfer isn't like silicone implants though. No foreign body, no leakage, no rejection. The main risk is fat necrosis which shouldn't happen with a good surgeon, and it's a very subtle change (like half to 1 cup size which is about an inch in overall bust measurement or what you look like with a bra). Minimal sensitivity change because it's injections not a massive cut, unlikely to impact feeding
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>>8800919
>Crystal Dream Carnival
Hmm, wait till he finds it goes for $900.
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>>8803945
Being a little bitch because you're bored is no excuse
>>
>OTT theme meet coming up that includes meet and greet with a efame lolita
>three attempts of getting items to match my coord dont match well enough
>so stressed with first attempt of OTT because i follow her on snapchat, insta, twitter, ect and stress about others seeing me online
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Do you ever feel like the things you wear (jfashion or even cosplay) are ridiculous?
That you look ridiculous in them?
Not exactly in the way "oh i'm so ugly/fat/.."
but in the way that YOU look ridiculous dressed like that.
I feel that since weeks,i ordered my first lolita dress yesterday after waiting 7 years (wonderful simple old school piece from baby) ,but i feel so unsure. Sometimes i wear something cute like ruffly shorts and a light pink fluffy bunny hoodie and then i feel ridiculous the second i set foot outside.
Help me gulls i feel miserable.
I'm always looking at cute jfash online,lolita websites,... so i never "lost interest" but i just feel so unsure and i want to cry...
>>
>>8802931
Either they will get over beating this dead horse or they are children and not worth your attention. If you have the energy to argue with them then keep making the "but isn't believing in whatever faith you want a human right, and as long as it hurts nobody denying that makes you no better than extremist Christians/whatever" argument everytime or if you know they won't budge on it then just ignore them or get up and go when they start ranting about religion. I had to part ways with some militant sjw who couldn't just get through one meal without hating on whatever, but on the other hand another friend of mine politely managed to not bring up her rants around me and finally admitted after 4 years that her atheist-based hatred of Christianity whilst supporting other faiths was just hypocritical, and that's great. If someone can't make the effort to meet you halfway and set last act politely when you hang out, they aren't worth seeing.
>>8803765
Agreeing with that anon, follows really don't come with notes. I have a couple of coords that have been really popular to the point I just blocked activity from them, but hardly even one or two notes on my other coords even if they are good photos. I just want to connect with other lolitas online! I don't know the secret to tumblr, but it's less straight forward than just putting out content so please don't think notes are a sound way to judge your coords.
>>
>>8800567
This is why I got into fitness. Pure motivation.
>>
>been working on projects and deadlines all week
>looking forward to working on my cosplay this weekend as a way to unwind
>go to a work retreat
>feel shitty right after
>suddenly lose all motivation to work on my cosplays
>just want to lay in bed and die
>>
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>>8804862
I feel the same way ;_;

It helps when you're out with a friend or at a meetup with your comm
>>
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>>8800919
That's so cute, anon.
I wish my bf had dream dresses or even cared about what I wore at all. The one time I asked him to pick out his favorite things from my wardrobe (hoping to put together a cute outfit for our anniversary that was coming up) he just picked out a bra and panties, laughed, and left the room to go play games.
>mfw the bra and panties didn't even match
>>
>>8804934
>this image
this is exactly how it feels kek

But yeah, i feel better with a friend into jfash too, once i had a girlfriend wearing pastel goth and she would hold my hand and i felt badass as fuck going outside with her and mean comments like "monsters" "so ugly" would merely ricochet on us and we would laugh at them and share our ice cream. Good times...
>>
>>8804944
Same. My boyfriend has a favorite OP of mine, but it's just because it's the one that makes me look busty due to the neckline. Meh.
>>
My post man does not even attempt to deliver insured packages and instead just puts "we missed you" slips in my mailbox. The post office is 20min away in a shit part of town and I barely have any free time during their open hours. My boyfriend or i has been home every time tracking shows a delivery was attempted....its so stupid. Luckily my bf will usually go pick things up for me but ugh. So stupid.
>>
I had to deal with the nightmare of not having cosplay for a con once and it was the most awkward thing ever. It's relaxing because I'm not always watching a certain article to make sure that it's not falling off anywhere, but I just have this need to cosplay to conventions.
>>
>>8803357
>it may also considered as secondary sexual characteristic
>may
Calm down kiddo
>>
>>8803316
breasts being sexualized is something that only happened within the last few hundred years...
>>
>>8804651
That is literally the best excuse.
>>
>>8803357
>http://www.scopemed.org/?mno=206880
Holy shit, did you just like google sex and elbow and cite something you cant even read? Do you even understand what those articles are saying? One study with no finding and its premise is angles mean something is a far cry from something that proves your point.

No one is going to believe your weird fetish is normal.
>>
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That amazing moment when you used SAL shipping and it arrives in your country one day after you clicked submit.
>>
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In unrelated feels:

>shopping at local grocery store
>not dressed like a slob but definitely casual
>t shirt no makeup hair needs roots done
>enjoy myself taking my time say hello to the nice old check out lady
>WHEN
>I run into this piece of shit asshole I knew back in highschool
>used to have a massive crush on him found out he made fun of me all the time behind my back
>rush of disgust goes through me as I remember how bad he made me feel once upon a time
>he approaches me
>"hey anon! What's up?"
>realize I look like shit
>realize if I ever happened to see him out in public ideally I'd want to look adorable and put together and make him regret ever breaking my little girl heart
>leave feeling horrible find out he works there now
>I see him almost every time I go in now
>fills me with rage every time

I know I'm being stupid and I need to grow up. But he was part of the reason why I had such shitty self esteem back then and I hate having to see his ugly face every time I got out for groceries. I know I could go out of my way to a different store but that feels like I'm letting him win somehow even though I think he barely remembers me.

In related news:

I've decided on my first cosplay and I'm pretty excited. I'm gonna do Kiki from Kikis Delivery Service. It looks simple enough and I love the character. I'm gonna take my time with it and hopefully it will turn out well.
>>
>>8805064
>I have no argument so I'll just be nitpicky about phrasing and condscending
>>
>>8804934
i want to hang a print of this comic by my bedroom mirror
>>
>>8804980
So call them about it.
>>
>>8805074
> weird fetish
> fetish
> mfw I'm trying to say that secondary sexual characteristics aren't inherently sexual
> okay.jpg
I'm not sure what you don't understand from the article's abstract. Frankly, I'm starting to wonder if you even know what a secondary sexual characteristic is.
>>
>>8805067
>citation needed
>>
>>8805407
just look up fashions where tits were 100% out and tell me.
>>
>>8804444
He knows...I showed him the last listing for the OP on lacemarket, and he still offered to pay for half.

>>8804944
I'm sure he thinks you're cute in everything. Mine often says "just go as you are" when I standing in the room in my underwear deciding what to wear. I think he takes an interest because he's usually well dressed himself, quite particular about what he wears overall, and doesn't mind spending money on his own clothes.

>>8804862
>>8804934
>>8804946
To be honest, it's kinda true. Most normal people think you are ridiculous, but you can't really change their reactions, only your own. The question is really about your own confidence. I feel like my j fash is a bit like armour in some ways, most people don't see "me" they see the "weird clothes" and so actually it doesn't matter what they say because they don't know shit about me really and they are usually poorly dressed themselves so also don't know shit about any sort of fashion anyway. There are definitely places/times I would feel uncomfortable drawing so much attention to myself, but overall I just rock my frills and don't care what the plebs think lol
>>
bf broke up with me because his friends called him a pedophile because I wear loliter
he was my only friend
i want to die
>>
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My boyfriend has been talking about this picture nonstop for the last hour. What an ugly bitch.
>>
>>8805540
no need to be jealous over a picture. she's quite cute imo too, doesn't mean I'd leave my hypothetical SO for a photo on the internet
consider it to be something like you gushing over a gorgeous coord/incredibly well made cosplay
>>
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>>8805540
>>
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>>8804862
If you think you could impove then censor your face and post in threads for advice, but don't do it for people in the street, do it for you. Almost everyone else on this planet looks ridiculous too, try talking to someone middle aged about what they wore when they were younger and watch them laugh, you think the normies of our time won't be the same?
Even just remembering how in the 90s you would get mocked for shinny jeans, letting the taste of others get in the way of happiness is the ridiculous thing.
>>
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>Found dream dress being sold
>No bids
>Puts bid in
>13 hours left

Does anyone else watch their dream dress auctions like a hawk getting more and more excited or is it just be being a loser?
>>
>finally got back into having a job after two yeary of depression and anxiety stopping me from it
>relationship as well
>therapy is going great
>suddenly lose job over some drama shit outside of my control
>new job fucking sucks and makes me hate life
>bf breaks up with me
>health has gone to shit
>i ran out of depression medication yesterday
>have only two friends and one of them is the guy who just broke up with me
>>
>>8805426
Sexualizing something and covering stuff up are not mutually inclusive. Sexuality was not something shameful in many cultures. The idea that for something to be sexual it must be covered up and hidden and private is a very Puritan one (there are other cultures that find sexuality sinful or shameful, but Abrahamic ones are the most relevant to the Western world.)
>>
>>8805652
>The good news is that I can drop all the money I saved up for a vacation with my ex on fashion
>>
>>8805540
What an ugly way to look at it, being jealous of an image. Instead, why not figure out what he likes about it, it sounds like you've discovered one of your significant other's buttons, which is a rare gift and opportunity.

Finding out what revs up your SO is typically a great experience if it can be replicated or stimulated. Take this as an opportunity instead of a detriment.

This goes both ways, honestly. A recent vidya game reinvigorated one of my girlfriend's kinks, and rather than get jealous, I used it to our advantage.
>>
>selfpost coord or craft
>get nice comments and concrit
>can't handle interaction, so never respond

sorry everyone
>>
>>8805219
I live in an apartment complex so I'm assuming it can't be helped, like the mail man probably doesn't have time to go to each apartment and instead just leaves the slips in the mailboxes at the front. Annoying though. Wish I had the option to have insured shipping without needing a signature and he could just leave it in my mailbox since my mailbox is locked with a key anyway...
>>
>>8805516
>loliter
I want you to die too anon
>>
>>8805716
Why?
>>
>>8805985
Here's your (you)
>>
>>8805985
>>
>>8805985
Maybe you should go back to your own "quarentine" board, robot
>>
>>8805109
>I'm too stupid to understand what that anon was implying so I am just going to act like there is no argument and it is just a nitpick
>>
>>8805618
I do. I had lost in a recent bid war. I hope you win yours for my sake.
>>
>>8805426

Men's bodies are sexualized. But it's ok for them to be shirtless.
>>
>>8805618
>>8806310
Can't you use sniping tool? There are some tools where you can use it to snipe an item once you set a limit you can spend on it. I can't explain further because I have never used them though.
>>
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Sorry for the not very related wall of text.

>crushing hard on /pol/ garbage friend for years who is used to my dumb kawaii shit.
>casual stuff going on since summer.
>finally confess about 2 months ago.
>"sorry I only like you as a friend"
>nothing changes and everything goes as normal.
>receive text from his friend "he actually likes you but is having a hard time dealing with it"
>ask wth and crush denies everything.
>ffwd new years eve: he kisses me in public for the first time. In front of friends.
>his friend is a snitch and tell me stuff from earlier mentioned text was repeated by crush that day.
>ffwd two days ago: we hang out at his place for my bday.
>before I got there he actually tried to dl kamikaze girls for us to watch(didn't go well but it's the thought that counts)
>stupid tsundere jokes. "it's not like I like you or anything"
>morning after: sober kissing and he removed a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear while we were cuddling.
>mfw still not dating.

This is torture! I can't really talk to him about it because ~his pride~. I don't want to stop this because it feels like it might be going somewhere but at the same time I really want to stop in case I'm just fooling myself because this one is going to hurt a lot.
>>
>>8806507
he gunna hit it and quit it
>>
>>8806507
Damn, this is like those romantic comedies.
A big bad thing will happen then you'll live happily ever after, anon!
>>
>>8806507
>/pol/

I would rather stay single for the rest of my life
>>
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>all cons in state start going down the drain in the last year
>stop going because they really don't do anything for me anymore
>all friends stop cosplaying or move across the country
>can't travel out of state on holidays due to staggered work week schedule
>live in great area for photo shoots but have no motivation

I just want to have the passion to make things with all the fabric I've horded over the years
>>
>>8804150
If people are going to be shitty to you because you had gas then they can fuck themselves anyways. Im sorry you feel embarassed or your comm is making you feel embarassed. That's pretty fucking juvenile of them.
>>
>>8805005
I can understand how you feel. I cosplay things that aren't mainstream and I know I might not get much attention because of it, but it makes me feel more comfortable than not being in cosplay. Then agajn, I'm not an attention pleb so
>>
>>8806507
>wanting to be with someone you'd describe as /pol/

They're all edgy manchildren that think saying 'nigger' makes them cool
>>
> had to go to an airline baggage office to file a lost suitcase claim
> "Alright anon, what contents in your suitcase would set you apart from other suitcases we find?"
> thinks about the lolita dresses I packed
> sweats profusely
>>
>>8804922
What the hell did they do to you at this work retreat, anon? Aren't they usually supposed to be motivational? Sounds like this one was the opposite.
>>
>>8804150
Ah, so that post on Behind the Bows #209 written by some brat saying "I would not be surprised if you actually shat yourself on Friday!" is about you? If it makes you feel better, that poster made me laugh, because, how ridiculous does someone have to be to bring that up?
>>
>>8806778
>putting dresses in a checked suitcase
Anon, I work for a major airline and never do this. Never put something that looks like it has value in a checked bag, for future reference. Fly an airline that permits a small suitcase carry on to put your dresses in.
>>
>>8806507
Do you really want to be with a guy who can't even admit he likes you? That's basically asking for disaster the minute a big issue comes up.
>>
>>8805672
That's me. Let's try to be more social though, yea? I don't even selfpost, because I know I won't respond. Thankfully my bff understands and she tries to help.
>>
>>8804150
You wanna know something terrible? I projectile vomited and farted LOUD at the same time at a small get together. Look, you didn't shit yourself and make a mess. You're gonna be fine. If they can't stop being bitches you don't want to be hanging out with them anyway.
>>
>want to go to a tea party meet, watching the event page
>"I really don't think this is very wheelchair friendly. Why didn't you pick a venue that was wheelchair friendly?"
>"We need volunteers to lift the wheelchair users up a flight of stairs! Who's going to volunteer?"

So because the venue is a cute little bar with a room upstairs and you can't go, you have to make everyone else bend to your needs. Yeah it's shitty that you might not be able to go because the organiser forgot to take wheelchair accessibility into consideration but you want everyone to lift you up the narrow rickety ass staircase in their Lolita coords so you can attend?
>>
>>8806789
Oh it wasn't the content of it or anything, it's more or less how I interacted with my coworkers there. I dread these kinds of events because they end up the same way: I try being social and positively interacting with others and I get the cold shoulder. I would try catching up with some coworkers that I've seen before and trying to get to know new ones, and usually they just really seemed uninterested on continuing a conversation with me or just ignored me in favor of speaking to someone seated next to me (so I'd end up in the middle while two people would lean over me to talk).

This whole thing went on for five and a half hours and I really felt left out the whole time. It made me fee like I'm incapable of making friends because there may be something wrong with me. Right after that I was questioning my friends if they think I'm weird or if I have Aspergers or something that people avoid me.

Sage for emotionally-driven rant--sorry if this explanation sounds whiney or anything.
>>
Sorry for unrelated, but I feel like I'm suffering crippling anxiety, but only when it relates to job hunting.

I had to take time off from working due to reasons. I decided to move to another part in my country where cost of living is way higher and am starting to look for a job there. I am staying at an airbnb room and extending it until I can find a job and therefore an apartment. I have plenty of savings to last a long time I also quite a few years of experience so I shouldn't have a problem finding a job.

But I'm still worried as fuck that every worst possible scenario will happen.I am terrible at speaking eloquently and hate the idea of getting a job pretty much being reliant on that.

How the fuck do I calm myself down and not feel incapacitated? I don't have such bad anxiety usually that prevents me from doing everyday things, but it's really bad now. ;_;
>>
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>>8804150
>host meet
>get chocolate laxatives
>melt and mold them into heart or bow shapes
>decorate them with normal chocolate to make them look kawaii
>have normal chocolates mixed into the bunch, so nobody can say "well we all ate the chocolate...!"
>serve them to the bitches
>laugh as chaos reigns
>>
>>8806795
I think it was, unless another lolita did something similar recently.

>>8806964
Satan, I love you.
>>
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> used to do couple cosplays with bf back in the day
> enjoyed working on costumes together and cosplaying series we both loved
> bf still likes cons but got tired of cosplay
> said it's too much of a hassle and he'd rather be casual at cons
> bummed out but I won't push him if he doesn't want to do it anymore
> cosplay alone from then on
> get message from bf today
> "Hey Anon, just finished that anime you love so much. I really loved this one character. I think I'd like to cosplay him."
> "Really? Because I was planning on cosplaying his female sidekick at our next con."
> "Oh sweet, that'd be an awesome couple cosplay. Count me in then."

I'm not sure this means he'll get back into cosplay but damn, I'm so happy we're going to do this together at least one more time. I can't wait to work on this with him.
>>
>>8806905
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KskWB1C2pw
This is you. Someone's wheelchair bound and we screwed up? Oh well, fuck 'em.
>>
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>>8800083
>tfw ots of disposable income and free time for weeb shit
>tfw no friends with time or money to join me in anything

life truly is unfair
;_;
>>
>>8806507
He must be the kind of assholes who tries to do sweet stuff in order to fuck people, i have a friend that went through that shit quite a lot. Don't be like her, you can find someone much better than that trash.
>>
>set goals to finish coords i currently own
>finishing up an OP im in love with but been having trouble matching obscure colors
>realize ive put on at least 5lbs over winter vacation while traveling and OP doesnt stretch
>i guess ill wait until i finish it so i dont get too butthurt that it may not fit
>>
>>8800182
same, i filled out the entire form and quickly closed the page before i hit send lol

my excuse is that it's my first time going to AM, so I would like to observe everything and take notes n shit this time, then next year do it
>>
>>8800354
they accept applications until they're full

and off of >>8800376's comment, this is probably why
>>
>>8804862
If it makes you feel any better anon everytime I've gone out wearing jfash, lolita, or even cosplay almost every comment ive gotten from normies has been really positive. Maybe it's just where I live but if anyone thinks I look ridiculous they never say it to my face. It also helps to go out with a group of people dressed like you.
>>
Today I have been robbed
>He threated me with a knife
>He touched me
>He came on me
>All in the hall of the building I live
>He stole my money (5 euro) and my phone, the only "expensive" thing I have
>I cried so much and go into home
>I tried to explain when I was crying, then my mother hits me and insult me for "allow" to that man to steal, threath and touch me
>We called the police but nothing
also
>I've participated in the Secret Santa of /cgl/
>A lovely girl sent me a lot of cute things included Sailor Moon stickers
>I put my favourites on my phone
>Now he stole part of the only Christmas present I had
I'm devastated seagulls
>>
>>8807304
was it one of those wonderful people from the desert?
>>
>janitor deleted my unpopular opinion about a jfashion model
>really feel that way not shit posting
>>
>>8807304
I'm sorry to hear this, anon. No one ever deserves that. At least your more valuable belongings are safe.
Now that you know how common the threat is, I'd start learning some basic self defense skills in case you find yourself in this situation again
>>
>>8804400
For what it's worth anon, I started out as pretty plus size, wore replicas and what bodyline would actually fit. Few people start out really great, and building a wardrobe takes time and money.

As far as the weight loss thing goes, lolita can be a great motivator. I found that lowering the carbs, sugars, and starches and upping lean proteins, veggies and fruits (ok sugars) plus building muscle helps a great deal. I lost a lot of weight and didn't spend tons of time working out, just every day I could, I took a walk with intermittent jogging. Then I did some circuit training at home to build muscle. Calorie counting works too as well as portion cutting.
>>
>>8807500
(are you talking about syrian refugees?)
>>
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>>8807500
>>8807735
>>
>>8807500
>anon went through a traumatizing experience and is feeling bad about it
>better take this opportunity to be racist!
>>
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>mfw Undertale cosplayers hate Homestuck cosplayers

Different name, same fate.
>>
>>8807949
They do? I was 90% sure they were literally the same people. Then again, that hasn't stopped people before.
>>
>>8807907
I take that as a yes
>>
>>8808005
I'm not even the same anon, just pointing out that you're being an ass for taking someone's horrible experience and using it to push your agenda.
>>
>>8807500
No, it was native from my country
>>8807685
...self defense? that's a really good idea, thank you anon
>>
>>8806507
I have to agree with >>8806806 , even if he finally agrees to man up and ask you out, if this is his normal mode of behavior imagine how he'll behave once you're actually dating. This kind of responsibility refusal / lying to your face about what he wants is going to get real old real fast... real life isn't animu and that kind of shit isn't cute.

If he tries to kiss/cuddle you again, you should make it very clear that you aren't going to continue doing that with him unless you're dating. There is no way that can end well.
>>
>>8806806
>>8807090
>>8808256
Thanks! I really appreciate these inputs since I don't have any girl friends to talk with about stuff like this. I guess I'm just so used to the way he is that I somehow justify the way he is acting.
>>
>>8807067
I feel you anon, i moved from my happy little town to the biggest city of my country and have no friends to cosplay with
>>
>>8808026
Where do you live? Honestly nothing makes me feel safer than to have a gun on me so if it's legal I'd get your carry license and carry a handgun with you. They make garter holsters so you can even carry while wearing dresses and skirts too! If you can't get one my friend who is a security guard suggested Fox OC spray to me. It's like super strong pepper spray. I don't have any myself yet but I just ordered some. There's apparently a kind that you can get that has dye in it so when you spray it the person attacking you is all dyed green so it's easier for the police to identify who your attacker was. That sounds absolutely awful and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Stay safe anon.
>>
So, my friend was going to sell some merch for me at Ohayocon. I shipped a bunch to her direct from the manufacturers (pure buttons and the like) and they arrived fine. The stuff I sent from my house got sent back to me so I tried to mail it again and UPS claims it was delivered but the package is nowhere to be found. Thats so much money thats lost and I'm so upset right now. Half my merch now wont be there and its lost money from what I paid to get it in the first place. One item was hand made as well and is lost forever. I really just want to cry.
>>
>>8806961
Before applying for any job make yourself a big warm cup of tea. If you don't like tea that's fine, you can have hot coco if you want. The important thing is that it's a hot drink and it will make you feel cozy sipping on it. Secondly, play relaxing music. It makes me sound like a baby but I like putting on instrumental versions of Disney songs. Now light some good smell candles. Relax. Drink your tea. Listen to the music. Now slowly start saying yo yourself "I'm gonna get this job", "I am in high demand", "employers want to hire me". Say these things over and over. Relax, sip your tea. Fill out your applications while repeating the positive stuff over and over. And then when you go into the interview remember your words.

Hope that helps!
>>
>>8809066
Really appreciate the response anon. You've restored my faith in humanity. Thanks so much!
>>
>>8801287
maybe people shoukd just stick to thier own cultures
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