How do I become a professional student who leeches off the government?

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1. take out a student loan
2. acquire a useless degree
3. fail to find a job
4. have a five figure debt in your early 20s and no real money making prospects because you never learned
5. bitch about it on the internet and watch as a clueless old man with NO understanding of how the economy works fails to get the democratic nomination
6. bitch about america becoming great again when dynamo don becomes the next president
7. miss out on the upcoming gravy train because you're a stupid, useless moron who's too far in debt to do anything and your degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on and bitch about that, too