How to get a job at Google? I see they post a new job add in

Be an alpha and straight up spam them faggots.

Good luck, god bless.

>>1065324
Work at a start up company. Work for bread crumbs and take equity. When they go public buy yourself an island

>>1065356
Meh, I would just go to the office with resume in hand like a true alpha. See how many security guards they use for a standard take down at the secured parking gate entrance.

>>1065324
It's a fairly elite club, probably invite only at this point friend.

>>1065324

Know someone who works there.

>>1065324
>Has browsed 4chan.
>Wants a job at Google.
Good luck m8

>>1065324
Wait for one of their hiring sprees and then jump in. Of course you probably don't want to work for such a weird company, you would very quickly realize that it is like no other company and everybody there is insane.

>>1065324
Google is very very thorough in their hiring process. Even if you did get an interview, you'd need a lot of experience to even make it past the first round. In high school I worked Software QA for a startup, and then in college the startup got bought out by a fortune 500 company and I worked for them as an engineering intern over the summer.

My resume was very complete, and I somehow managed a first round interview as a software intern, and by the end of the first round the interviewer was basically teaching me things about the field that I didn't know. I did not get an invite to the second round. I was a college sophomore at the time, but it was still pretty embarrassing.

I would try and find something like >>1065359 said. Most grounded startups actually pay really well, and you'll learn more in two weeks on the job than you will in all 4 years in college. Plus startup experience on a resume is gold.

>>1065523
>Plus startup experience on a resume is gold.
not always true though

>>1065324
Basically be a top shelf programmer with an H1B.

>>1065324
Fuck, there is literally one general catch-all Software Engineering position @ Google in Waterloo Region. I'm jelly as f.... of amerilards being able to apply to new stuff every month. Should I take the jump to the US senpai? But then I'd have to live alone + no friends so going to be even lonelier than it is for me now.

>>1066074
It is if it's a well grounded startup in your field. Working for a successful startup means you possess the necessary skills to work in a closely knit team, and contribute to the company's success. You can work for a large corporate company and weasel your way through the job, but if you don't contribute to a start-up, you're out.

Eat a puppy.

>>1066096
This. I know a normal person with an MS from Carnegie Mellon. They fly you out, throw bullshit at you for a few days,, then hire a hurka lurka anyway. And the result is all of those shitty Beta products/services Google puts out there and throws away if people start using them.

>>1065324
Are you an H1B, if not, no chance. Those are most likely fake job postings to prove that they tried to hire an American an no one was qualified. Sorry, almost all engineers at Google are H1B.

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>>1065324

former googler here. BS and MS in computer science. interned at amazon and dropbox.

you don't want to work at google.

>oh wow, you make 110k...in silicon valley. your rent is 2k/mo. you live in a cardboard box in a liberal shithole city. you can't own guns and you're surrounded by the homeless. you don't own a car. your money is the equivalent of 60k/year in your average city not named new york.
>everyone around you at work is a full blown SJW hipster. all the men around you are nu males. ask them to play a game of pick up basketball and they raise eyebrows and then sign onto league of legends instead. all the women are useless programmers. the ones in positions of power fucked their way to the top. every non-white, non-asian near you is a useless diversity hire -- and there are A LOT of them.

I could see wanting to work for Google in a mid to late career position -- some sort of VP of something user facing. Someone who has some sort of decision making ability.

As a base level engineer? No. It is hell on earth. Silicon Valley, in general, is just a big lie. People just delude themselves into think it's nice. It sucks.

Moved to NC. Got job at medium sized startup that just finished series B funding. Earning 80k/year in an area where a 250k ($1100/mo mortgage) house gets you 3-4 beds, 2k sq ft, a big back yard, and a garage. The 2nd amendment is actually respected. Men are men and woman are women. No diversity hires. No SJWs.

Life is good.

>>1066657

Please elaborate on the programming aptitude of the women you'd encountered. I.e. their actual competencies and also how you're determining their ineptitude. I'm just curious

>>1066686
>Please elaborate on the programming aptitude of the women you'd encountered. I.e. their actual competencies and also how you're determining their ineptitude. I'm just curious

There were some talented women, but the majority of them were just there to fudge the hiring numbers.

Most of the women that I worked with did not have a basic grasp of algorithmic analysis. Shit, I worked with one girl who couldn't wrap her head around the concept of pointers. I'm not joking.

Most of them were just half-rate programmers. Really, just sort of middle of the road, undergraduate-level minds. If a complex problem was solved around me, it was solved by a man. Perhaps, then, the girls would transcribed the white board algorithm into code (literally being the definition of a code money). They'd then get all the same credit for their "work", and they'd usually get promoted more rapidly than more intelligent men on their teams. Personally, I didn't get left in the dust by useless female team members, but a good deal of my friends did. It was pretty obvious and unapologetic.

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>>1066686

Oh, I also know a girl that I had a drag kicking and screaming through CS101. I just paired with her for the semester because she was hot. Banged her a few times. She just copied all of my work. Took her 3/4ths of the semester to understand a nested for loop.

She's now an engineer a NASA. Wish I were kidding!

>this is your brain on social justice

>>1066710

The only part I don't believe is the banged her a few times part :>)

>>1066704
I'm curious how they were hired what with the hardcore interviews I've read about. I mean, that sort of skill discrepancy seems impossible to ignore despite privileging the hire based on gender.

>>1066741
It's only hardcore if you're white, asian or indian. Niggers and cunts get a different test.

>>1066741
>>1066751

Yep, pretty much this. They lower the standards. for the diversity hires. Because standards are racist/mysogynist/problematic. Obviously.

>>1066758
But what about Google jobs other than in silicon valley? In my case, as a German, I'm very interested to work here in Germany or Switzerland for Google. Still not a good idea to work there? I can imagine their PC rules from silicon valley are adapted in other Google offices as well.

>>1066657
>>1066704
>>1066758

HANG ON A MINUTE

If these people are hired just to meet "diversity quotas", how the hell do they survive there if they are so retarded as you claim?

>>1066657
this, have heard something similar from a friend.

>>1067038

My guess is that, as anon stated, they float because of their coworkers, but then when into an administrative role, they can function fine because I'm sure their soft and organizational skills are on par.

>>1066332

Best advice ITT.

>>1066704
>If a complex problem was solved around me, it was solved by a man.
Any examples?

>>1067038
Nobody's saying they last very long

>>1065502
It's way harder than knowing someone there; you have to suck their dicks pretty much. And then it's not a definite

Referrals bypass you from the online applicant battle and into the interviewing hot seat. Then you're fighting against a dumbass HR and two hipsters like what >>1065523
>>1066657
said