How does one express alpha male behavior in the workplace?

>>1061831
pee on people, similar to how your dog does.

I find that knowing deep down that your piles of ether are massive helps.

Also, imagine he has a small dick

Ugh, this should be in the sticky

>scan photos of your beta-male co-workers' families from their desks to your computer. Photoshop your face over theirs. Frame the new photos and replace the old ones on their desks. Their families are rightfully yours.

https://4ch.be/biz/thread/941895/

>>1061831
Why is the alpha wearing long pants and the beta wearing shorts?

What did the artist mean by this?

>>1061894
The Beta wet himself and changed into his gym gear.

The real question is why does the Alpha have an erection?

Just be born alpha and it will naturally shine through.

>>1061848
God damn i keked so hard ty for tht anon

>measuring depth in 2d
this is a special kind of retardation

>>1061831
/pol/ and /r9k/ leave us fucking alone

bring in safety gear, cheapo hard hats and high visibility jackets and "cod pieces" which are in actuality chastity cages

I used to just drink in the morning before work and at lunch but my company is going to start drug and alcohol testing so im either going to have to get on some kind of anti anxiety drug or Im going to be on a one way ticket to beta town.

>>1061831
There are many ways. Here are some of the things I've found to work:
I cut 2 inches of the guest chairs in my cube so visitors, including my boss, are always looking up at me.
I arranged my desk so my back is facing the window in my cube and now office I now have a very nice office
I never dress down for casual day. And I usually sit at my desk wearing a tie and jacket (always wear a suit never a blazer and slacks)
I usually answer my phone when it rings and never use voice mail
I answer or delete my email the second they come in
I always look people in the eye
I never come in at 8:00 and leave at 5:30 no matter what
I take my vacation

>>1062399
>I never come in at 8:00 and leave at 5:30 no matter what

Meaning you go in earlier and leave later?

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>>1062399
>not giving a shit about seating
>not dressing in casual clothing everyday
>not using e-mail as a first response
>not having an inbox thousands of e-mails full
>Who doesn't look people in the eye?
>Not arriving 20 minutes late and leaving 5 minutes early
>mfw people that don't actually take vacation

>>1062412
Your response indicates to me that you will never make it as an Alpha in a business environment. However, you would make a good crossing guard. Good luck.

>>1061831

>Gamma
>Delta
>Epsilon
>Zeta
>Eta
>Theta
>Iota
>Kappa
>Lambda
>Mu
>Nu
>Xi
>Omicron
>Pi
>Rho
>Sigma
>Tau
>Upsilon
>Phi
>Chi
>Psi
>Omega

i bring a step stool into the toilet to give my urine extra volume

>>1061908
Alpha males always have an erection. It part of the way we assert dominance

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>>1062399
Morning Jim!

You just have to pretend to be one of it's really that serious.

If they already know you're beta then don't bother, you've already fucked up.

>>1061848
Came here to post this

Also, paint the parking lot. Works every time

>>1061831

Pork the assistant on their desk in full view of everybody at every chance you get.

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Internet boards are definitely the place for becoming alpha

>>1061831
I think the alpha/beta shit is stupid, but I do have one thing that makes me feel incredibly confident no matter what.

Get a pair of good shoes ($200+) and walk across a hard floor. Granite, polished concrete, tile, etc. The click clack that echoes and lets people hear you coming is an instant confidence boost.

I also duct tape half a dry kielbasa to my inner-right thigh every day

>>1061831
>Learn everything
>Improve them or be more efficient
>Be direct with question/answers
>Have commanding presence

The only negative is that new people think I'm intimidating

>>1063830
>half
betacuck

>>1061831
apparently you need to wear jeans too... shorts make u beta

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Serious question, /biz/.

I just landed a position in Digital Customer Service, one of those 1-on-1 online chat things at a large telecom company, think AT&T.

I just got a Rolex Submariner for graduating university. This job pays around 13/h, but I'm taking it for some corporate work experience. People seem to dress pretty casually - Facebook-style lack of a dress code. Will I be labelled a colossal dickhead for wearing it to work? I don't even know what I should wear on my first day.

>>1065164
No one will even notice the difference between that and a Seiko so you're fine m9

>>1063830
Yeah I normally don't take the alpha shit too seriously, but fuck me that click clack noise that just fucking announces you slowly approaching is breddy good

>>1064297
they make him cold. i think being cold makes u beta

>>1062399
Answers email straight away... great job being reactive and not focusing on your core work faggot.

I read emails at certain times in the day. So someone with a question can wait. .that is alpha

>>1062459
Topkek mate

>>1065164
Yes you will look like a dick for wearing a nice watch with no work experience

>>1061831
Bernie Sanders on the right

>>1062451
Now say it backwards while buttchugging. Then you will be a real alpha.

>>1061831
>greet people with a snappy "Heil Hitler!"
>say out of the blue that laoitian CP is highly overrated and that fillipino has fallen into a routine
>say that rock music is for fags and country music is for alcoholic fags, prove it by have nothing but dark industrial/ambient music in your expensive mp3-player
>insist on having a "dumb" phone, especially one with extra large buttons for retards and the elderly, this is how many fucks you give (oh, and having *any* music on the phone is for telecucks)
>commute to the job with a 3-wheeled Spyder Bike, because it's only fags that drives a Harley
>when it's a meeting, insist on making coffee for everyone, because women are filthy retards that doesn't understand coffee brewing

>>1062399
Good goy

>>1061831
Working like you realize everyone else is useless and you are the only one working and keeping the company afloat (which is essentially true).

"Always be the hardest worker in the room"

>>1065504
>not making your boss brew the coffee.
Betacuck detected

>>1065869
>implying the boss is neither a woman nor a fag that cannot into coffe brewing

>>1065932
No seriously, that's beta as fuck.

>>1065164

Yes, everyone will notice the style, make, and model of your watch in 2016 and not be focused on shaniqua's new iPhone 5se XxX delta.

>>1062399

I think you have some problems.

Serious problems.

>>1065255
>I answer or delete my email the second they come in
Reading comprehension is Alpha. You apparently can not read. If for example I were to receive and email from you I would delete it and not answer it. Idiot.

>>1066176

Having someone wait on you is more Alpha than anything, it establishes dominance and leadership.

> try hard

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>whenever you talk to somebody, write down what they say and then take out your copy of the 48 laws of power, page through and find the law which applies before commencing manipulation
>get as many concussions as you can to damage your Amygdala

someone said this in the linked thread. What does a damaged amygdala have to do with anything?

desu always the most alpha guy is the one who the boss is always mad at

and normally it's because he speaks the truth when other guys just nod

>>1066202
I believe the amygdala has to do with anger and fear, so maybe the idea is to completely get rid of fear and to make you angry 24/7?

>>1066310
psychopaths have decreased activity in amyglada, so no empathy, remorse, guilt, fear etc

>enter building
>if you see someone heading for the door and is still far from the door, hold the door for them and watch them run towards the door
>if you see someone heading for the door and is close to the door, dont hold the door for them

>>1066181
No small child who has never worked in a corporate environment you are wrong. Again reading is fundamental RIF. If you email me, my nigga, and I delete your email on the spot without answering you are you waiting? Come on you little bitch think it out, while you make the next Big Mac. Stupid little bitch. Alpha is Alpha and a basement dweller is...you...I will happily compare notes, paychecks, offices, accomplishments

>>1065932
>Working for a woman/fag.
certified low-test.

The picture forgot about the beta's weak jaw, shitty frame, inferior heigh, fucked up thyroid, deficient inmune system...

basically be born with good genes and ideally rich as well.

If you weren't then kill.

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>>1062399
>I cut 2 inches of the guest chairs in my cube so visitors, including my boss, are always looking up at me.
Manlet problems. You are not alpha.

>>1067046
I bet these guys have collectively sucked dicks in the triple digit range

>>1062420
m8 i used to arrive half an hour late and leave an hour early.

i am now neet.

>>1067139
Should have worked an in-demand job with remote management. The only downside is "taking a vacation" is more like "procrastinating work", nobody does that shit while you're gone.

Bringing this up with my manager at some point for a raise. For some reason demanding a $5,000 yearly bonus for my added work time to play catch-up after vacations is ridiculous, but demanding a $10,000 raise is not.

Corporation mentality is retarded.

Seriously though, the following are key cuck traits.

>work for somebody else; an office job
>sit in front a computer eight hours a day to survive
>wear a tie around your neck to show obedience
>hate your job, but do it anyway
>bitch about your coworkers for approval
>fail to care about the lack of control over your life
>know that you have no control, but do nothing because you enjoy submission

etc.

>>1067150
>Over 95% of the human race is cucked or poor

>>1067160
>95%
*100% you filthy kike
/pol/ was right

>>1067165
>over 95
100 is over 95 you nut-busted bandersnatch

argue with everyone (particularly your superiors) about everything to assert yourself as the smartest one in the office. talk loudly and ridicule people publicly for their bad ideas. then you'll think you're super alpha while everyone in the office quietly conspires against you and cannot wait to see you fail.

>>1065164
Unless someone asks to see it - they'll most likely think it's a knockoff or a submariner homage. Or they won't care. At all.

>>1061908
>>1061894
Why is the alpha wearing a muslim shirt

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>>1067218
>muslim shirt
does the shirt believe in allah?

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>>1066543
Perfect.

>>1066623

My sides are in orbit at how hard you're trying.

>>1066623

>corporate environment
>compare offices
>alpha

Yes, it's very alpha to answer to your corporate overlords at your office building for 50 hours a week. Kudos to you for reaching middle management. Maybe when you retire they will hand your balls back to you in a gold plated box.

>dress formal all the time, and expensive as you can. Never use bargain brand. Bargain brands are for the normal people, and you are not one of them.

>Do not use your smart phone in public. Have a simple flip phone that will show you are focused and do not need fancy hipster shit.

>wear a non digital wrist watch. Gold if possible. Now only check the time using this watch and never your phone. Phone clocking is bad and makes you look lazy and/or incompetent. Tell time like a man.

>as previously mentioned, Expensive shoes that make a click clack sound are helpful. When you are in the room your presence should be known by all.

>speak loudly, and find a deep but realistic chuckle. Not an annoying one, but a chuckle and voice volume that is warm and experienced. Your voice will make people listen to you. Do not let your voice waver or studder. Do not let anyone talk over you. Its time for you to talk, and you will be heard.

>Routinely ask your coworkers to repeat themselves a little louder. Not in a way that suggests you have bitch ears, but in a way that says their voice and overall presence is weak and needs to be brought to your level. Even if you heard them fine.

>Firm handshakes and stern eye contact are essential. When you are done meeting with a client or boss give them a hand shake with one hand and start guiding them with your other hand on their back until you have redirected them to the door. The meeting is over and you have commanded them to go. Often superiority is percieved as the welcoming and concluding party before and after the meeting.

>Show up early, and leave late. This is not to give you more work, but to give the air that you are doing your job better than your peers.

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>>1067865
>how to demonstrate autism 101

>>1068012
I trust the man with no pic more than you with your unimpressed Russian waifu whatever

Keep pictures of your weaker coworkers wives on your desk to establish dominance.

>>1067226
XD

>>1067865
Parvenu: The Post

Can't disagree on the watch.

be a dick to your male colleagues, but always answer and offer help if they need one. this will make you sought after and hated in the same time, women will drip for you, men will despise and respect you.

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>>1061831

First you get the money...

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>>1069058
Yeah, then you turn 25.

>>1067865
>>1068988
>Parvenu: The Post

oh god, this is literally me irl

>>1066623
>NEETs actually get satisfaction from lying on the internet

>>1061839
>piles of ether

What?

Didn't read whole thread, not sure if someone mentioned these but here's some good ones:

>When someone tells you their name, purposely mispronounce it as if everything is fine
>Squeeze their hand extremely hard and don't let go during a handshake
>If someone stares at you in an unfriendly way, stare back at them until they turn away

>>1066543
>if you see someone heading for the door and is still far from the door, hold the door for them and watch them run towards the door

You forgot one thing though when doing this

>while holding the door, be sure to look at the person in the eye and shake your head in disapproval, indicating they have just wasted your valuable time by you doing this favor for them, they will be even more grateful

There's no QTDDTOT and this thread seems close enough to my subject.

How do I ace an interview? And what kind of questions are often asked in low level entry job?

>>1069871
Really depends on the person interviewing you. In general though, here's what I think works.

You should bring the following in some sort of leather bound binder/folder(you can get these for less than $20 at Office Depot):
At least five copies of your resume for safety sake
2 pens
Scratch paper

Now, you should have done research on the position and the company before hand. Write down some questions about the job and the company on the paper. It's okay to ask questions about the job, it shows you're actually interested and actually want to do well. Also it gives you something to fill dead air. It's crucial that your interview lasts for at least thirty minutes, preferably more. This is about how much time it takes for your average cuck like you and me to build a rapport. The thing is, and this is always amazing to me, most people are bad at this. They're bad at building a resume and they're bad at interviewing.

These really shouldn't be hard because they're basic functions. They just want to ask you some questions and answer any questions you have. It's really not that bad. It's just people talking to other people.

Also trim your pubes for the mandatory penis inspection. It's no different from high school really.

>>1065164
It's funny how Americans need rewards for graduating university

>>1069861

>If someone stares at you in an unfriendly way, stare back at them until they turn away

I did this to a guy in 2004 but he also did it back. We're still at it. My whole life since has been doing things with my peripheral vision.

>>1069908
Did you also do the handshake thing and are still holding his hand?

>>1069891
thanks anon

"Seek alpha" for the sake of egotistical superiority, and and you will never become alpha.

Half the reason that betas are beta is because they are constantly looking at themselves reactively, narcissistically lamenting in the mirror saying, "why do I suck? why don't girls like me? why does no one at work take me seriously?" which could also be a thin veil over "how do I make myself superior to the people that make me feel inferior? guess I'll just drink my problems away for now.." From years of shit experiences snowballing, a purely ego-piloted mindset down to subconscious levels manifests itself and programs betas to hate themselves via sketchy metadata. As such, most of them don't have a clue of it, but they long and toil for answers to it, as it makes them miserable.

This is why you should seek a mindset to do things out of out of love, proactively! Be confident in your aim to give others the solutions they desire, for the problems they have, and they will step up to bat for your dignity. That's how it works.

Many might say otherwise. They might say being alpha is just commanding attention or being the loudest one in the room. That is not true. Blowing an air-horn in the over a discussion does not make you alpha, it just makes you a dick. Condescendingly shutting others down mid-sentence, just to shut them down, does not make you alpha, it just makes you look defensive and insecure (aka like a dick). Asserting "physical dominance" over people that are harmless, just because you can, when they are the people you should be protecting, same thing. Pseudo-alphas are really just "proactive betas". They are proactive, but only for their own self interests. They are opportunistic for positive reaction and ego validation. It screams "I am a self-conscious child". These alpha dropout types are the most deluded of all...

Acquire an interest in freeing yourself of delusions, cognitive dissonance, and narcissism for the sake of helping others to do the same.

>>1070301
yes

>>1070301
Beta ass fucking post

Actual alpha reporting in

Its literally as simple as not giving a fuck. Thats it.

>>1070301
If you actually read all that shit you will never be alpha. And whoever actually wrote all that shit makes Please Bang My Wife like Mad Max

>>1070301

had to stop reading

I grew tits and my testicles started to shrink

>>1070301
holy shit, get a hobby faggot , why would you write this bitch ass wall of text in an obvious troll thread

>>1070301
The responses to this were hilariously predictable.

>>1061831
>How does one express alpha male behavior in the workplace?

depends on the workplace - in places with a strict hierarchy there is less need for posturing... in the military for example you'll find some high ranking people in command appointments have no need to act alpha, they're alpha by default from the position they've earned and have nothing to prove to anyone... they can relax and people still have to bang one up and call them 'sir' as they walk past

on the other hand - if you're in an org with a relatively flat hierarchy, not so clear lines re: who does what etc.. you'll have to fight/compete for the perceived better tasks, you'll have more pressure to self promote at all times, you'll always have something to prove in order to put yourself above your peers with no ranks to separate you from them

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>>1066202
>you will never be this alpha