Is there such a thing as a successful criminal career? Have

>>1038206
>el chapo until yesterday

le become a politician joke :^)

>>1038206

Work on wall street.

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>>1038232
edgy

if you stumble across a new criminal enterprise, yes

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>>1038232

>>1038244

oh boy, you sure showed him!

>>1038206
Yes, absolutely. When other little kids were thinking it would be cool to be a football player or an astronaut or whatever, I thought the coolest possible career I could have was pulling off heists. I've wanted to rob banks since I was like nine. It seems like modern security measures mean that overt crime like that have a near-zero chance of ever succeeding though, unfortunately. Still, if someone offered and they had a really good plan, I'd take them up for it.

>>1038281
My nigga
After I had seen ocean's eleven, I was sold.
I'm pretty lucky I didn't get arrested in highschool.
seems pretty stupid now tho, to risky

>>1038206
if you're not in burgerland: cook drugs, preferably synthetic coke. makes stupidly much money if you do it right

There is, but you need to realize that becoming a successful criminal is even harder than becoming successful entrepreneur. You need to have very specific character traits/skills to make it as a criminal.

>>1038295
>>1038295

why the differentiation between being in burgerland and not being in burgerland?

>>1038206
I used to be a drug dealer, not the stereotypical gangbanging kid who has uses all his profit on flashy shit though. Kept everything lowkey, made a little dough and never got even close to being arrested.

I would go back but I'd rather focus on legal income, rather than take that much of a risk b/c distribution charges for coke are pretty severe.

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In the late 1700's there was a Chinese prostitute Ching Shih

She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death - consensual sex was punished by beheading too. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewmen. Ching got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

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>>1038206

I used to run an illegal casino in Queens all the while telling my parents I was finishing college, I was making pretty good money, but my parents were starting to catch on. So one day I got a chance to work for an investment firm on Long Island, I jumped at the chance even though I had no experience they said they would teach me everything. Long story short it was all a scam operation and the FBI indicted everyone, oh yeah and I banged a black chick and made amends to my dad.

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did you sell pens too?

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>>1038281
I got a plan op! To still the biggest world reserve of shitty coins no one wants! Greates guest since gox! You down?

Of course. But successful criminals look like anyone else.
They're not stupid enough to write tell-all memoirs, unless they get caught.

Your best resources are, therefore, the memoirs of second-raters, and media about criminals made by non-criminals, who usually have ulterior motives (moral lessons, entertainment.)

>>1038206

Low level criminals often make less than minimum wage and rarely more than a livable wage.

Mid-level criminals get the harshest sentences, do the most work, have to be personable, and are most likely to be caught and convicted.

High-level criminals are a lot more skilled and tactful than anyone gives them credit for. With the skill, connections, and know-how they can almost always work in an equivalent field and make decent money.

The above really depends on the field but as a rule of thumb it is true.

People strongly considering crime as a career need to know that it's just as hard and a lot less forgiving than a traditional field of employment; that is if you wish to remain a free man.

During training in most fields of employment it's common to have a mentor or a teacher and they dedicate large amounts of time helping you correct your mistakes and learn from your failures. In the criminal underworld it's almost unheard of to have reliable teacher and failing typically means years in prison.

You might think that the things that inhibit the growth of an unfortunate but intelligent and entrepreneurial hopeful such as yourself on the up-and-up wouldn't hinder you in crime but you would be wrong. Nepotism, financial status, charisma, and genetics all play a role in your criminal success.

People take a lot of things for granted that protect small to mid level business owners.

Insurance, everyone hates the insurance companies. In crime the concept is so abstracted i wouldn't call it insurance. There is no hard equivalent. Insurance in crime is more akin to a fucked up chess board dice game; when you lose your best piece you move your second best piece into position all the while hoping any number of dice rolls don't roll prison.

>>1038467

I was going to write more but got bored.

Bottom line is if you're not successful as a citizen you won't be successful as a criminal at least not for very long.

Your best bet is to operate above-level business and venture into a grey area only when it's incredibly profitable and you can secure it the best you can. Being a pure criminal starting with nothing in the majority of the cases will get you into prison.

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>>1038206
Easy m8

Identity fraud is pretty safe... not that i would know

fuck the banks

>>1038532
What are some things that your friend's second cousin's barber's penpal's chance acquaintance got up to in that field of criminal enterprise?

>>1038206
Yeh if youre in a established mob or cartel

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What do you guys think of credit card fraud?

You can buy CCs or CC info on the deepweb. Then purchase some big ticket items, then sell on craigslist. A few I pads a week and you can make some ok cash.

Atleast for someone who has no education and job prospects.

>>1038913
i think you're retarded. first of all, most of the carding sales on darknet markets are absolute scams. second of all, even if they worked you're still faced with the prospect of ordering a product. "a few ipads a week" is a felony amount, and the police are going to be VERY interested in where all of this stolen merchandise is being shipped once the card is reported for fraud and the credit card company turns your shipping address over to the authorities. assuming you use a drop for a shipping address, you still need to find someone who will take the blame if (when) the police do a controlled delivery... which wont happen, because who the fuck would go to jail for you?

carding only works if you live in a third world country where the police can be bribed or simply dont give a shit about you stealing from a first worlder's credit card half the world away.

>walk in walmart
>grab a box of crest whitestrips
>open box and take the 20 whitestrips
>repeat 10 times
>sell on eBay at $50 per 20 strips

repeat the next day at different walmart

takes 3 seconds to open the box and grab them :)

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>>1038352

> 69

>>1038921

Online buying is obviously stupid/logistically impossible to get away with.

But buying merchandise in store ( far away from where you live) then selling them in another area seems possible.

Provided you do most of the shopping in a few days, then destroying the card and never using it again.

>>1038921
The classic way around that is to order a single high value product and have it delivered to a derelict house.
They pick one that still receives mail, and then copy the name and address they find on the envelopes accumulating there.

This was back in the day of phone orders. Today, you'd also need to use someone else's internet connection, and also spoof your MAC address if you are using your laptop.

One delivery per address. Hogs get slaughtered.

Having said that, I agree with you about the deepweb stuff. Very questionable. If legitimate at all, they're selling them because they don't know how to cash out, or because they make more money selling them than cashing out, or perhaps because they've compromised the cards in some way.

Find a way to get your own numbers. Or get a job. In fact, do both.

>>1038925

Just a matter of time before you get caught and then youre fucked for good

>>1038206
politics

>>1038206
I've always felt I could be a pretty good hired killer. I have no problem with the idea of killing someone and have an incredibly forgettable face.

Wouldn't know where to get into that kind of thing, though.

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>>1038452
lol were you behind the recent one?

>>1039074

Obviously you would only buy from reputable vendors. Forums and chatroom are a good way of finding that out.

As for why someone in the deepweb would sell CC info, it's alot easier to just sell the info/cards than it is to compile,manufacturer, purchase merchandise, and then sell it. Someone can work from home 100% of the time with a lot less risk.

But I agree. Making this your primary sorce of income is stupid.

Was dealing with weed and coke few years ago, mad cash if you have a good costumerbase.
Also pimping out some whores makes you money fast and easy

>>1038921
this is making me cringe so hard

>>1040005
Not sure what you're trying to convey but the previous poster is right - I had a few classmates (random as fuck when they got busted, never would have expected it) who were middlemen and essentially brokers for bulk CCs. They made apparently at least $11k a month. I'm at a decent US school too, not third world.

>>1038921
> first of all, most of the carding sales on darknet markets are absolute scams.
False
>the police are going to be VERY interested in where all it will be shipped

No they won't millions of people order legit packages and charge backs don't happen for like a week when notified from the CH
>card is reported for fraud and the credit card company turns your shipping address over to the authorities.

carders are not retarded they obviously use drop
> still need to find someone who will take the blame if (when) the police do a controlled delivery...
No you don't
You have zero knowledge about anything with fraud

>>1038921
Also carding is fucking difficult in places like Nigeria and India.usa is the biggest target for carders. USA drop houses,bank accounts,cc are the best in the marketplace.anti fraud algorithm automatically decline shipping addresses to shitwhole countrys

>>1038206
no because every criminal slips up eventually and spends the rest of their life in prison (if they were somewhat successful, success directly ties in to how long you are put away)

Bumpu.

Anyone got any carding resources?

Preferably a forum in the deep? This might not be the most appropriate way to go about this.

>>1041429
Don't listen to anybody here and don't even bother starting. The only thing you will get out of carding is a criminal record. The FBI monitors basically all carding forums and actively run honeypots to catch people.

This thread is real dumb.

>>1038206

I used to work for Best Buy in the warehouse receiving area and back when iPods where hot 2004-2007 I would tuck a few of them in my pants, set them aside in an obscure spot and smuggle them out one by one the following days.

Problem was they would normally pat down employees and check their shit at the loss prevention desk near the exit, but I actually doubled as their loss prevention guy on many occasions and they wouldn't dare ask me but I'd always volunteer my jacket to play it cool.

The boxes were thin enough to conceal in my waist and I could sell them quite easily for $60 below retail over local Craiglist, scoring abour $300-400 depending on the model. Must have made at least $6k before I decided it wasn't worth the risk any longer after someone discovered one of my stashed away units in the warehouse and their inventory counts were coming up bad.

Still kind of shocked at my actions, since I'm pretty straight.

>>1041429

Blue=box diving in the suburbs at night

There's a ring of robbers. They seek out mom and pop pharmacies. They break in and Rob the place clean. All the drugs.

They've done this to like 20 storea in the Chicagoland area. Fbi was involved. I live 3 minutes away from one of the shops.

I always dreamed of meeting them and joining up.

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>>1038206
Crime doesn't pay, and eventually even the best criminals get caught. It's a no-win game where the only victory is one in which you aren't killed or sent to prison. It's rewards are ultimately minuscule and when reflected back on don't generally conjure up fond memories.

I also ponder this time dilemma.

Precrime: you have the advantage. You can scout the place out. Security is static. They follow routines. Cameras are fixed in place. You know how shit is run. You have 100% influencer this stage

This is your only advantage.

Intracrime : you have to execute the plan perfectly. There is always a time constraints which leaves the chance to errors happening and you getting caught. You have one chance to do it, and do it right. They most likely don't suspect this specific crime to be committed at this moment. You have a moderate amount of influence in this stage.

Postcrime : largest disadvantage. You can't do shit. What is done is done. You can't fix mistakes. They have years to solve this crime. You have no influence over the outcome here.

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Have a friend move things in peoples yards to the edge of the road, then you drive by and pick these things up. Things left by the road are free.

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>>1038206

I always thought about pulling the famous "pizza bomber" situation but instead of kidnapping some random pizza guy you take some rich father's kid(s), ransom them for money, strap them with explosives, dress them in sketch clothes and force them to go pickup the money at a dead drop. That way if things so south you simply blow them up and move onto the next family.

>>1038352
Why hasn't this been made into a Netflix series yet?

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>>1038913
Thing is that when you get busted for this you get fucked HARD, like worse than murderers in some cases. They charge you with about 50 different crimes ranging from theft, fraud, identity theft, etc. Add up all the jail time and you look at like 50 years of jail time lmfao. I knew a guy who did it a couple times, he did tons of random scams but stopped credit scams due to the charges if he got caught.

>>1038206
I got arrested back in march for a shitload of felony burglary charges but I'm a white guy who had a good lawyer and a bunch of bullshit references from my college applications about how I was a pillar of the community (obvi these people had no idea about my stickyfingers)
Asides from the fact that jail blows and lawyers are expensive there are some basic ground rules
Don't fucking tell anyone anything, don't brag to your friends or anyone else.
Don't steal shit like T.V.'s and video games. That shits hard to move, especially discreetly. Plus if its a decent neighborhood cops takes home invasions pretty seriously and the neighborhood will def be on alert looking for hoodrats. Good thing is you're probably white and normal looking so you got that going.
The best thing to do is find idiot HS drug dealers, they won't do shit cus they'd get fucked over by the law too plus most are pussies. Drugs are the only thing you can resell without taking a loss. If you steal a treasure chest of gold jewelry what the fuck are you going to do with it. People are going to be suspicious. Cool tip - get a towstrap for your car rap one end around a door and the other on your hitch and just rip the fucking door off if the area is secluded. Ditch the door drive away, wait 15 min see if any cops come rolling down the highway. No cops? guess what no fucking alarm. If they don't have an alarm they prob don't have cameras either. Use that mindset with a lot of things. Also for some reason if you do trigger an alarm while fiddling with a door either the security company will call or they will forward a call from the popo. If its a biz and you hear a ringringring at 2am get the fuck out. Stay away from guns and don't do anything across state borders there is no federal parole/ probation and if you have a gun they manage to schlong you with all sorts of shit besides just having a gun. Also when you do get caught, rock your mugshot

>>1038352
what armaments and tactics did her fleet use

>>1041527
because the media isn't interested in real life women, only heel flicking perfect in every way mary sues

>>1041544
>http://www.bloomberg.com/bw/articles/2013-04-18/in-virginias-fairfax-county-robbing-banks-for-the-cia

>http://www.wired.com/2010/03/ff_masterthief_blanchard/

http://www.nytimes.com/1989/02/06/nyregion/mafia-aided-scheme-evades-millions-in-gas-taxes.html?pagewanted=all

These are some pretty interesting reads. Basically it is impossible to do large scale scams without the feds fucking you unless you're some mobster with paid off politicians and agents. Which means you have the option of finding people dumb as a brick and hoping you know enough of the law that your fall guys take the heat, or you go solo which basically requires antisocial personality disorder and actually being smart. However that's the recipe for getting anywhere in life

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This is more along /biz/'s level of autism

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/incredibly-wealthy-silicon-valley-exec-arrested-complicated-high-185525605.html

Sell research chemicals -> make bank

>>1041497
Batman plz

You can probably make some money in drugs if you aren't retarded. Cops catch kids because they're at school 8 hours a day, but if you don't really have your name on anything, maybe pay rent in cash somewhere? I think you could be pretty elusive
There's too much to it I think, people who get by stealing shit are raised that way

>>1042052
I like the idea of selling drugs because it's simple business.The upside of it is that you need a bunch of coworkers if you want to make big bucks.Plus the competition is very harsh.You may get killed.

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>spend $300~ on a tent, grow light and extraction fan for indoor gardening project
>grow 10 dank plants with the aim of getting 4 oz per plant
>sell weed for $15 per gram on darkweb
>earn $16,800

Easy no?

>>1042078
A grow space for ten plants yielding 4oz per plant will cost you way more than $300, but your logic is sound, safest/best ROI small time crime, except in some states in "Murica, where they'll give you 25 to life for ten plants.

>>1042078
>>1042086
This is the correct choice. The rules for not being caught are no tell, no smell and no sell. But the last rule can have risk mitigated by supplying a single higher level distributor and using methods to minimize your interaction. It is very hard to keep your identity secret, but what you can do is never reveal your name, always pull out if something seems off and try to drop off all the goods in one big hit.

When you go professional/larger scale, there are lots of ways to get caught. High house temperature can be detected, high electricity consumption, laundering money is tough especially if you are paid in cash.

>>1042086

Yea you're right about the $300 thing, prolly more like $500. In most of EU you will only get a slap on the wrist if you get caught, or community service. The chances of going to jail for 10 plants is very low.

>>1042113

>laundering money is tough
>try to drop off all the goods in one big hit

That's why I said sell on darkweb. Keep profits in BTC, then chain hop those coins to make them legit.. Then you can do with them as you like.

>>1042127
yeah but you risk inflation or deflation destroying your profits. It requires liquidating your bitcoin and exchanging it for a more stable currency almost instantly.

In my opinion, a personal method, which ties in with an above ground profession works well as long as it is disconnected from you personally.

>>1042137
>le bitcoin is volatile meme

>>1038206

Malware Distribution

>>1042137

If volatility was that big of a problem, which it isn't, you could always use BitUSD through Bitshares.

>>1042063
The only way you will get killed selling drugs is if you try to sling crack on a corner. If your clientele are addicts it's not worth it unless you open carry desu
Sell drugs to high school kids and white people

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>>1038206
I have thought about selling weed. I have a solid supplier and can make an extra AUD$200 doing a couple of low key deals. Being a white male in a predominantly white town, I feel it would be pretty safe.

>>1040501
>no because every criminal slips up eventually and spends the rest of their life in prison

except the ones you never heard of.

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>>1038281
if you want to make heists, you have to have a mind of a fucking architect and be as based as a special commando unit, nowadays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQyaJYtX2oA

Sell Addearll

>>1038338
because we hate drugs

>>1042319
Why be the employee
Grow it

>>1042078
>disregarded:
>cost of electricity
>cost of exhaust fans and active carbon filter
>cost of seller status on darkweb sites
>basically, disregarded costs
>exaggerates yield per plant in SOG
>exaggerates price of weed unless living in Norway
I did this, but you do not make more than cover basic food and cheap rent even with 3 square metres of SOG grow.